Beauty Come Forth-FEBRUARY 2016

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Healthy Weight Loss and Dieting Tips HelpGuide.org

In our eat-and-run, massive-portion-sized culture, maintaining a healthy weight can be tough—and losing weight, even tougher. If you’ve tried and failed to lose weight before, you may believe that diets don’t work for you. You’re probably right: most diets don’t work—at least not in the long term. However, there are plenty of small but powerful ways to avoid common dieting pitfalls, achieve lasting weight loss success, and develop a healthier relationship with food.

The key to successful, healthy weight loss Successfully managing your weight comes down to a simple equation: If you eat more calories than you burn, you gain weight. And if you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. Sounds easy, right? Then why is losing weight so hard? Well for one, weight loss isn’t a linear event over time. When you cut calories, you may drop a pound or so each week for the first few weeks, for example, and then something changes. You eat the same number of calories but you lose less weight. And then the next week you don’t lose anything at all. That’s because when you lose weight you’re losing water and lean tissue as well as fat, your metabolism slows, and your body changes in other ways. So, in order to continue dropping weight each week, you’ll need to continue cutting calories. Secondly, while in essence a calorie is a calorie, your body reacts differently to different types of food. So eating 100 calories of high fructose corn syrup, for example, will have a different effect on your body than eating 100 calories of broccoli. The trick for sustained weight loss is to ditch the foods that are packed with calories but don’t make you feel full (like candy) and replace them with foods that fill you up without being loaded with calories (like vegetables). Thirdly, losing weight in a healthy, sustainable way often takes time. It requires patience and commitment. Extreme diets may promise rapid results but they’re more likely to leave you feeling cranky and starving and losing more cash than weight. Finally, there are emotional aspects of eating that can trip you up. Many of us don’t always eat simply to satisfy hunger. We also turn to food for comfort or to relieve stress—which can derail any weight loss efforts before they begin.


The good news is that by making smarter choices every day, adopting healthy lifestyle changes, and developing new eating habits, you’ll not only lose weight and be able to keep it off, you’ll also improve your outlook and mood and have more energy.

Training your brain to crave healthier food We aren’t born with an innate craving for French fries and donuts or an aversion to broccoli and whole grains. This conditioning happens over time as we’re exposed to more and more unhealthy food choices. A recent pilot study at Tufts University, however, suggests that it’s possible to reprogram your brain’s food cravings so that you hanker for healthier foods instead of high-calorie ‘diet busters.’ In the study, a small group of subjects enrolled in a behavioral weight management program that emphasizes portion-control and education to change eating habits. After six months, brain scans revealed increased reward and enjoyment of healthy, low-calorie foods, and a decrease in enjoyment of unhealthy, higher-calorie foods. While more research is needed to be conclusive, this is encouraging news for anyone whose weight loss efforts have been sabotaged by unhealthy food cravings. You can learn to enjoy healthy food!

Getting started with healthy weight loss While there is no “one size fits all” solution to permanent healthy weight loss, the following guidelines are a great place to start:

Think lifestyle change, not short-term diet. Permanent weight loss is not something that a “quick-fix” diet can achieve. Instead, think about weight loss as a permanent lifestyle change—a commitment to replace highcalorie foods with healthier, lower-calorie alternatives, reduce your portion sizes, and become more active. Various popular diets can help jumpstart your weight loss, but permanent changes in your lifestyle and food choices are what will work in the long run.

Find a cheering section. Social support means a lot. Programs like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers use group support to impact weight loss and lifelong healthy eating. Seek out support—whether in the form of family, friends, or a support group—to get the encouragement you need. Slow and steady wins the race. Aim to lose one to two pounds a week to ensure healthy weight loss. Losing weight too fast can take a toll on your mind and body, making you feel sluggish, drained, and sick. When you drop a lot of weight quickly, you’re actually losing mostly water and muscle, rather than fat.

Set goals to keep you motivated. Short-term goals, like wanting to fit into a bikini for the summer, usually don’t work as well as wanting to feel more confident, boost your mood, or become healthier for your children’s sakes. When frustration and temptation strike, concentrate on the many benefits you will reap from being healthier and leaner.

Use tools that help you track your progress. Keep a food journal and weigh yourself regularly, keeping track of each pound and inch you lose. By keeping track of your weight loss efforts, you’ll see the results in black and white, which will help you stay motivated.

Where you carry your fat matters The health risks are greater if you tend to carry your weight around your abdomen, as opposed to your hips and thighs. A lot of belly fat is stored deep below the skin surrounding the abdominal organs and liver, and is closely linked to insulin resistance and diabetes. Calories obtained from fructose (found in sugary beverages such as soda and processed foods like doughnuts, muffins, and candy) are more likely to add to this dangerous fat around your belly. Cutting back on sugary foods can mean a slimmer waistline and lower risk of disease.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #1: Avoid common pitfalls


It’s always tempting to look for short cuts but fad diets or “quick-fix” pills and plans only set you up for failure because:

You feel deprived. Diets that cut out entire groups of food, such as carbs or fat, are simply impractical, not to

mention unhealthy. The key is moderation. You lose weight, but can’t keep it off. Diets that severely cut calories, restrict certain foods, or rely on ready-made meals might work in the short term but don’t include a plan for maintaining your weight, so the pounds quickly come back.

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After your diet, you seem to put on weight more quickly. When you drastically restrict your food intake, your metabolism will temporarily slow down. Once you start eating normally, you’ll gain weight until your metabolism bounces back. You break your diet and feel too discouraged to try again. When diets make you feel deprived, it’s easy to fall off the wagon. Healthy eating is about the big picture. An occasional splurge won’t kill your efforts. You feel lost when dining out. If the food served isn’t on your specific diet plan, what can you do? The person on the commercial lost 30 lbs. in two months—and you haven’t. Diet companies make a lot of grandiose promises, and most are simply unrealistic.

Low-carbohydrate: Quick weight loss but long-term safety questions Dr. Atkins’ Diet Revolution launched the low-carbohydrate diet craze, focusing largely on high-protein meats and fullfat dairy products, while banishing carbohydrates such as bread, rice, and pasta. One popular permutation of the lowcarb diet is the South Beach diet, which also restricts carbohydrates but favors healthier, unsaturated fats found in nuts and fish, and allows more whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. The low-carb eating strategy is based on the theory that people who eat carbohydrates take in more calories and gain weight, while people on a high-fat diet eat less and lose weight. However, low-carbohydrate diets tend to cause dehydration by shedding pounds as urine. The result is rapid weight loss, but after a few months, weight loss tends to slow and reverse, just as happens with other diets. The American Heart Association cautions people against the Atkins diet, because it is too high in saturated fat and protein, which can be hard on the heart, kidneys, and bones. The lack of fruits and vegetables is also worrisome, because these foods tend to lower the risk of stroke, dementia, and certain cancers. Most experts believe South Beach and other, less restrictive low-carbohydrate diets offer a more reasonable approach.

Adapted with permission from Lose Weight and Keep It Off, a special health report published by Harvard Health Publications.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #2: Put a stop to emotional eating We don’t always eat simply to satisfy hunger. If we did, no one would be overweight. All too often, we turn to food for comfort and stress relief. When this happens, we frequently pack on pounds. Do you reach for a snack while watching TV? Do you eat when you’re stressed or bored? When you’re lonely? Or to reward yourself? Recognizing your emotional eating triggers can make all the difference in your weight-loss efforts:

If you eat when you’re stressed, find

healthier ways to calm yourself. Try exercise, yoga, meditation, or soaking in a hot bath.


If you eat when you’re feeling low on energy, find other mid-afternoon pick-me-ups. Try walking around

the block, listening to energizing music, or taking a short nap. If you eat when you’re lonely or bored, reach out to others instead of reaching for the refrigerator. Call a friend who makes you laugh, take your dog for a walk, or go out in public (to the library, mall, or park—anywhere there’s people).

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #3: Tune in when you eat We live in a fast-paced world where eating has become mindless. We eat on the run, at our desk while we’re working, and in front of the TV screen. The result is that we consume much more than we need, often without realizing it. Counter this tendency by practicing “mindful” eating: pay attention to what you eat, savor each bite, and choose foods that are both nourishing and enjoyable.

Mindful eating weight loss tips 

Pay attention while you’re eating. Instead of chowing down mindlessly, savor the experience. Eat slowly, savoring the smells and textures of your food. If your mind wanders, gently return your attention to your food

and how it tastes and feels in your mouth. Avoid distractions while eating. Try not to eat while working, watching TV, or driving. It’s too easy to

mindlessly overeat. Try mixing things up to force yourself to focus on the experience of eating. Try using chopsticks rather than

a fork, or use your utensils with your non-dominant hand. Stop eating before you are full. It takes time for the signal to reach your brain that you’ve had enough. Avoid the temptation to clean your plate. Yes, there are children starving in Africa, but your weight gain won’t help them.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #4: Fill up with fruit, veggies, and fiber To lose weight, you have to eat fewer calories. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to eat less food. You can fill up while on a diet, as long as you choose your foods wisely.

Fiber: the secret to feeling satisfied while losing weight High-fiber foods are higher in volume and take longer to digest, which makes them filling. There’s nothing magic about it, but the weight-loss results may seem like it. High-fiber heavyweights include:

Fruits and vegetables – Enjoy whole fruits across the rainbow (strawberries, apples, oranges, berries,

nectarines, plums), leafy salads, and green veggies of all kinds. Beans – Select beans of any kind (black beans, lentils, split peas, pinto beans, chickpeas). Add them to soups,

salads, and entrees, or enjoy them as a hearty dish on their own. Whole grains – Try high-fiber cereal, oatmeal, brown rice, whole-wheat pasta, whole-wheat or multigrain bread, and air-popped popcorn.

Focus on fresh fruits and veggies



Counting calories and measuring portion sizes can quickly become tedious, but you don’t need an accounting degree to enjoy fresh fruit and vegetables. It’s generally safe to eat as much as you want, whenever you want. The high water and fiber content in most fresh fruits and vegetables makes them hard to overeat. You’ll feel full long before you’ve overdone it on the calories.

Eat vegetables raw or steamed, not fried or breaded, and dress

them with herbs and spices or a little olive oil or cheese for flavor.  Add nuts and cheese to salads but don’t overdo it. Use low-fat

salad dressings, such as a vinaigrette made with olive oil. Pour a little less cereal into your morning bowl to make room for some blueberries, strawberries, or sliced

bananas. You’ll still enjoy a full bowl, but with a lower calorie count. Swap out some of the meat and cheese in your sandwich with healthier veggie choices like lettuce, tomatoes,

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sprouts, cucumbers, and avocado. Instead of a high-calorie snack, like chips and dip, try baby carrots or celery with hummus. Add more veggies to your favorite main courses to make your dish “go” further. Even dishes such as pasta and stir-fries can be diet-friendly if you use less noodles and more vegetables. Try starting your meal with a salad or soup to help fill you up, so you eat less of your entrée.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #5: Indulge without overindulging Try not to think of certain foods as "off limits" When you ban certain foods, it is natural to want those foods more, and then feel like a failure if you give in to temptation. Instead of denying yourself the unhealthy foods you love, simply eat them less often. If you’ve ever found yourself polishing off a pint of ice cream or stuffing yourself with cookies or chips after spending a whole day virtuously eating salads, you know how restrictive diet plans usually end. Deprivation diets set you up for failure: you starve yourself until you snap, and then you overdo it, cancelling out all your previous efforts. In order to successfully lose weight and keep it off, you need to learn how to enjoy the foods you love without going overboard. A diet that places all your favorite foods off limits won’t work in the long run. Eventually, you’ll feel deprived and will cave. And when you do, you probably won’t stop at a sensible-sized portion.

Tips for enjoying treats without overeating 

Combine your treat with other healthy foods. You can still enjoy your favorite high-calorie treat, whether it’s ice cream, chips, cake, or chocolate. The key is to eat a smaller serving along with a lower-calorie option. For example, add strawberries to your ice cream or munch on carrot and celery sticks along with your chips and dip. By piling on the low-cal option, you can eat a diet-friendly portion of your favorite treat without feeling deprived.

Schedule your treats. Establish regular times when you get to indulge in your favorite food. For example, maybe you enjoy a small square of chocolate every day after lunch, or a slice of cheesecake every Friday evening. Once you’re conditioned to eat your treat at those times—and those times only—you’ll stop obsessing about them at other times.

Make your indulgence less indulgent. Find ways to reduce fat, sugar, or calories in your favorite treats and snacks. If you do your own baking, cut back on sugar, making up for it with extra cinnamon or vanilla extract. You can also eliminate or reduce high-calorie sides, like whipped cream, cheese, dip, and frosting.


Engage all your senses—not just your taste sense. You can make snack time more special by lighting candles, playing soothing music, or eating outdoors in a beautiful setting. Get the most pleasure—and the most relaxation—out of your treat by cutting it into small pieces and taking your time.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #6: Take charge of your food environment Set yourself up for success by taking charge of your food environment: when you eat, how much you eat, and what foods you make easily available.

Eat early, weigh less. Early studies suggest that consuming more of your daily calories at breakfast and fewer at dinner can help you drop more pounds. Eating a larger, healthy breakfast can jump start your metabolism, stop you feeling hungry during the day, and give you more time to burn off the calories.

Fast for 14 hours a day. Try to eat your last meal earlier in the day and then fast until breakfast the next morning. Studies suggest that this simple dietary adjustment—eating only when you’re most active and giving your digestive system a long break each day—may aid weight loss. Serve yourself smaller portions. One easy way to control portion size is by using small plates, bowls, and cups. This will make your portions appear larger. Don’t eat out of large bowls or directly from the food container or package, which makes it difficult to assess how much you’ve eaten. Using smaller utensils, like a teaspoon

instead of tablespoon, can slow eating and help you feel full sooner. Plan your meals and snacks ahead of time. You will be more inclined to eat in moderation if you have thought out healthy meals and snacks in advance. You can buy or create your own small portion snacks in plastic bags or containers. Eating on a schedule will also help you avoid eating when you aren’t truly hungry.

Cook your own meals. Cooking meals at home allows you to control both portion size and what goes in to the food. Restaurant and packaged foods generally contain a lot more sodium, fat, and calories than food cooked

at home—plus the portion sizes tend to be larger. Don’t shop for groceries when you’re hungry. Create a shopping list and stick to it. Be especially careful to

avoid high-calorie snack and convenience foods. Out of sight, out of mind. Limit the amount of tempting foods you have at home. If you share a kitchen with non-dieters, store snack foods and other high-calorie indulgences in cabinets or drawers out of your sight.

Sugar: The secret diet saboteur Most of us consume more sugar than is healthy, but reducing the amount of candy and desserts you eat is only part of the solution. Sugar is also hidden in foods as diverse as bread, canned soups and vegetables, pasta sauce, margarine, instant mashed potatoes, frozen dinners, and ketchup. It’s also in a lot of foods labelled as “low fat” or “reduced fat.” Manufacturers often replace the fat in their products with sugar to improve the taste. But all this hidden sugar amounts to nothing but a lot of empty calories. Check labels and opt for low sugar products and use fresh or frozen ingredients instead of canned goods.

Soft drinks (including soda, energy drinks, and coffee drinks) are one of the biggest sources of hidden sugar. One can of soda contains between 10-12 teaspoons of sugar and around 150 calories, so a few soft drinks can quickly add up to a good portion of your daily calorie intake. Switching to diet soda isn’t the answer, as studies suggest that it triggers sugar cravings and contributes to weight gain. Instead, try switching to water with lemon, unsweetened iced tea, or carbonated water with a splash of juice.

If you have a sweet tooth, the thought of cutting back on sugar may sound daunting. But by slowly reducing the sugar in your diet a little at a time, you’ll give your taste buds time to adjust and you’ll be able to wean yourself off the craving for sweets.

Healthy dieting and weight loss tip #7: Make healthy lifestyle changes


You can support your dieting efforts by making healthy lifestyle choices.

Get plenty of exercise. Exercise is a dieter’s best friend. It not only burns calories, but also can improve your resting metabolism. No time for a long workout? Research shows that three 10-minute spurts of exercise per day are just as good as one 30-minute workout.

Turn off the TV. You actually burn less calories watching television than you do sleeping! If you simply can’t miss your favorite shows, get a little workout in while watching. Do easy exercises like squats, sit-ups, jogging in place, or using resistance bands or hand weights. Drink more water. Reduce your daily calorie intake by replacing soda, alcohol, or coffee with water. Thirst can also be confused with hunger, so by drinking water, you may avoid consuming extra calories.

How lack of sleep can wreck your diet Lack of sleep has been shown to have a direct link to hunger, overeating, and weight gain. Two hormones in your body— ghrelin and leptin—regulate normal feelings of hunger and fullness. Ghrelin stimulates appetite, while leptin sends signals to the brain when you are full. However, when you’re short on sleep, your ghrelin levels go up, stimulating your appetite so you want more food than normal, and your leptin levels go down, meaning you don’t feel satisfied and want to keep eating. This can lead to overeating and, ultimately, weight gain. To keep your diet on track, try to get about eight hours of quality sleep a night.


Looking for Lust The names have changed, but the attitude remains By Myra Wallace

“…... their eyes rove among the crowds flirting with men. The Lord will send a plague of scabs to tournament their heads. Yes the Lord will make them bald for all to see” (Isaiah 3:16). Why would a man buy a cow, when he can get the milk for free? Many men have found themselves entangled with these enticing harlots, wrapped in the excitement of the pleasures of their loins, only to find that they were not as in control of the situation as they thought. It started out as an innocent smile, a lingering glance, or a simple accidental brushing up against each other. But by the time it’s finished, this woman has not only taken your man, she has also made him forget you ever existed. She is promiscuous. She is ruthless. She takes no prisoners, and the hearts of men is her playing field. She is skilled in using her femininity to her advantage. She has mastered the art of coercion by appealing to the interests of her prey. She has been hurt by deception somewhere in her life and no longer respects the sanctity of monogamy, while lacking an appreciation for the value of her own body. She believes she must give of her body to receive the appreciation she thinks she deserves, or she will at least use her body as a tool to get what she wants—only to have her thirst quenched for the moment, then off to the next tall glass of water. Never satisfied, she is the woman most mothers warn their sons about and the one referenced in Proverbs 31:3. Potiphar’s Wife is another example of a woman who chose lusting over love. Captivated by his handsome face and well-built body, and perhaps curious regarding her ability to manipulate him into sleeping with her, Potipher’s wife went into action. Never mind that she was married to the King, this Egyptian Queen wanted what she wanted, and she decided she wanted Joseph, the slave. Her desire to sleep with him became obvious when she boldly invited him to her bed. When he refused, she quickly devised a scheme to protect herself, for fear Joseph’s loyalty to the King would expose her. During one of her attempts to seduce Joseph, she grabbed a piece of his cloak to use as proof of


the lie that he had attempted to rape her. She not only lacked integrity of character but she also had no respect of it. Her story is found in Genesis 39. Most of us know some portion of the story of Sampson and Delilah. Delilah was a harlot who lived in the valley of Sorek, was solicited by the lords of the Philistines to use her beauty to lure Samson into giving up the secret of his strength. Persistent in getting what she was after, she weakened him with her beauty and skilled art of love. The soft caress and words of adoration paid off on the fourth attempt. Samson told her all she need to know. Having him sleep on her knees; Delilah called for the man to cut off his hair. Samson’s strength left him, and he was captured by the Philistines at the manipulation of this harlot. Quite interesting what one skilled in the art of love can accomplish. Her story is found in Judges 16. The times may have changed but these attitudes have far from grown old. Women have used lust as a tool to lure men into situations that often end up costing them their families, their jobs and sometimes their life. Men’s tendency to allow lust to lead them has proven to weaken the stand to do the right thing at the right time. These few stories taken from the Bible are only a few that prove the point that allowing lust to take the lead of love, will rarely have a happily ever after. My point, choose love, it should take the lead in all that we do.


By Chris L. Gilrath II

Think back to your school days for a moment. For most of us, our school days bring about fond memories, memories of laughter, first dates, dances, the playground, and the fads and trends of the day. There are lots of memories indeed for us to reflect on. Unfortunately, for some people the memories are not well. For some people often think back to those few people who were mean spirited, petty, insecure, and threatening. Yes, the dreaded bully. Often the time bullies would harass those who they perceived to be weaker than they were, people who were afraid to fight back and stand up for themselves. Often the fear of retribution, physical harm, and public humiliation is often what crosses the preys mind because they know the predator could inflict all of these things. Often times those of us who are not bullied, but witness the behavior often stand by refusing to help because we as kids and teenagers do not want to end up on that list and elicit retribution ourselves. We not want to be put on the list. For those bullied, they probably just want to make through their years of school and hope they get out of school to have productive lives and put that chapter of their lives behind them. Surely, there will not be bullies in our adult lives and in our daily situations right? Unfortunately, often the answer is no. We deal with bullies often time in various aspects of our lives: our inner circle at times, in our families, our romantic relationships, and in the workplace. Usually, they same rules apply. Adult bullies reflect the same type of tendencies that child and teen bullies, do the only difference is it seems more pathetic at this point that someone still goes about life terrorizing others. In the workplace, we have supervisors and people who think they are supervisors who are often unprofessional, rude, and self-serving. Often times they are threatened by people who are having success at work or people who they feel are in someway a threat to their professional careers. If the person treats you rude or disrespectful or embarrasses you publically, you feel angry, you want to respond back, and you feel some type of way. For those brave enough to report these behaviors, often times just like a child bully the adult bully retaliates by looking for ways to discredit you and make your life a living hell. You are now on the hit list and the bully is looking for anyway to get you out, you are now trouble. When this behavior occurs and you are made the example, nobody else wants to come forward or call the behaviors out


for fear of the same consequences. You did not even do anything wrong, you were just tired of the same unprofessional behaviors. In our family and friend circles there are a few that get off on humiliating and degrading others and then say things like “I was just playing.” “You are too sensitive.” or some other pathetic line in which often times you think, “Maybe I am being too sensitive. I will just let it go.” Then the behavior of the bully continues. This is the type of person that is actually very prideful about this behavior and does not care if they offend or hurt others. They figure there is something wrong with you and you just need to get over it. They throw shade at your accomplishments, ridicule your personality and again continue to call you sensitive, and in your feelings when you do confront it. They say it so much that you just decide to put up with the menacing behavior. However, these bullies often prey on people they perceive to be weaker then them or less abrasive in their personalities. They see kindness as weakness. Most of the time these people are still stuck in the grade school or junior high mentality of the past. They are rude, inconsiderate, and unapproachable. They continue to get away with their behavior because people refuse to call them out on it. Here are a few signs that you may have a bully on your hands.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Uses fear or intimidation to get you to agree with his/ her point. Looks for ways to humiliate or embarrass you in front of others. Belittles your ideas or suggestions constantly. Uses retribution or retaliation if you report his/her behavior. Refuses to admit faults, apologize, or empathize. Talks about you behind your back. Often makes you question your abilities. Rattles your self-confidence. Refers to you often as “sensitive”, “weak”, “being in your feelings”

Recognize any of these signs in anyone you know? I am sure at some point, we have all fell victim to these people at some point in our lives or we have witness the behavior being inflicted on someone else. These behaviors are pathetic to say the least. Often times, these people are the exact opposite of who they profess to be. When they act out in and exhibit the symptoms above what they are really showing how much of an insecure, self-loathing, and unconfident person they are. Only someone weak preys on someone kind or considers kindness a weakness. If you are reading this article and you know you exhibit these behaviors, its time to grow up and get your life together. School is out. We have moved on. It’s time to get it together before one of these people you pick on pick back. Those of you being bullied or intimidated its time to the bullies that continue to try and get the best of you. Often times, their bark is bigger than their bite. They are shocked if you come back on them, but if you do it enough the behavior will cease, they move on to the next. Do not continue to fall for the “okie doke” We are all adults. School is out those days are gone. Please get your life.



Good friends enhance the quality, the pleasure, and the health of each other By Saul Levine M.D. Our Emotional Footprint

We. All. Need. Good. Friends. The songs “You’ve Got a Friend” by Carol King, Barbra Streisand’s “People…who need people,” and Joe Cocker’s “With a little help from my friends,” express the critical roles good friends play in our lives. Like many of you, some of my oldest close friends have been an important part of my life over decades. As attested by that old adage, “We choose our friends, not our family,” meaning that the personal and positive nature of friendship is voluntary. We are a social species and we need that sense of “Belonging,” of feeling deeply appreciated by people we care for. Meaningful, long-term friendships are cherished. Intimate friends share each other’s experiences and in some ways they inhabit each other’s lives. They often have similar viewpoints and values, and they may share similar backgrounds and traditions. They witness the milestones and unexpected changes of life, the highs and lows, celebrations and sadness. People without friends often experience the vulnerability of loneliness, that poignant state which many of us have felt at some point. Friendships first develop during childhood, when youngsters learn to interact with others. They learn how to agree and disagree, to exchange meaningful words and gestures, to accommodate to others’ temperaments, and to make friends. These early skills are foundations for later friendships. Friends exchange caring, celebration and solace. When people feel blue, they often reach out to old friends for support and counsel. But in times of deep depression, they might avoid human contact, either out of lack of energy or thinking they are unworthy. They withdraw when they are most in need of the support from caring others.


A key finding from a major study of adults’ lives was that those who had close, long-term friends fared better than those who were less social. Close friendships enhanced moods and functioning as well as emotional and physical health. Friendships have to be cultivated and nurtured to be meaningful over years. Social media supposedly enable people to make new friends via sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and myriad others, but unfortunately some of these online friendships are more “virtual” than real. Many of these “cyber-bonds” are often anything but meaningful, and can actually be a way of not engaging deeply with others. In the guise of generating friendships, the Internet can ironically serve to keep people apart. Social media can never replace the authenticity and intimacy of face-to-face interactions. Good friends are open, genuine and honest with each other. They tolerate each other’s frailties, appreciate their differences, and honestly criticize when necessary. Over many years, they participate in each other’s celebrations and marriages, and in their children’s and grandchildren’s milestones. They are there for each other during illnesses and setbacks, and some are left to mourn the losses of their dear old friends, almost as a loss of a part of themselves. You know that some of the feelings and experiences you shared with friends during good times and sad, are among your most cherished memories. In Sondheim’s beautiful song Old Friends, an old friend says: “Here’s to us, who’s like us?” Simply put, good friendships are some of the best stuff of life.


Saving $100 Now Is Better Than Saving $1,000 In 10 Years By Damian Davila “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago" is one of the most famous pieces of financial advice from Warren Buffett. Out of fear for current conditions of the stock market or a misguided belief that small amounts do not make a difference, few people take Buffett's advice as seriously as they should. Review why it is better to start saving right now, even at a small rate, rather than just trying to catch up later on in life.

Power of Interest Compounding The present time is always the best time to start investing and saving. Saving $100 now is better than saving $1,000 in 10 years because you are able to earn interest on every one of those 10 years. Consider the following scenarios: If you were to deposit $100 every year for 10 years in a high-yield savings account with a 1.05% annual interest rate, you would have $1,054.55 at the end of the 10-year period. Some highyield savings accounts require no minimum deposit, have no monthly maintenance or annual fees, and provide a boost to your interest rate if you make no withdrawals and you make deposits each month for a number of consecutive months. Such features increase your total investment at the end of the 10-year period. If you were to make the same series of deposits for 10 years in an investment account paying an annual return of 4.5%, you would have $1,258.57 at the end of the 10-year period. The higher the interest rate, the better the payoff of investing $100 every year.


However, it is still possible to do even better. The historical average annual return for the S&P 500, adjusted for inflation, is around 7%. If you were to invest $100 every year in an index fund that mirrors the S&P 500 through your retirement account, you would have $1,433.48 at the end of the 10-year period.

Effect of Inflation Inflation is another reason why you need to start investing now. Measured in terms of the Consumer Price Index (CPI), inflation chips away at the actual value of your money. Every year, retailers, business owners and just about everybody else raises prices of goods and services to account for higher costs. For example, assuming 2% inflation, if you were to leave $1,000 in a checking account that gains no interest, your deposit would be worth $903.92 in five years and $817.07 in 10 years. To maximize your purchasing power in the future, you need to start investing now.

List of Benefits From Retirement Accounts Investing in retirement accounts, including 401(k)s and traditional IRAs, allows you to boost your investment by deferring applicable income taxes until retirement, when you are more likely to be in a lower tax bracket. By contributing to your retirement account on a pretax basis every year, you effectively reduce your taxable income. For example, if you were to contribute $100 out of your $2,000 bi-weekly paycheck to an employer-sponsored 401(k), you would only pay federal income taxes on $1,900. When you are close to the upper limit of your tax bracket, contributing to a retirement account prevents you from paying more taxes. Another benefit of contributing to a retirement account now instead of in 10 years is you are taking advantage of your annual contribution limit. In 2015 and 2016, you could contribute up to $18,000, or $24,000 if age 50 and over, to your 401(k) plan each year. If you do not contribute at least $100 each year, that chance is gone forever. And so are the potential returns that could have accumulated until you retire.

The Bottom Line It is better to start saving now, even at a small rate, than just trying to catch up later. Even an annual contribution of $100 to your savings account, investment account or retirement account improves your odds of reaching your investment goals. Original article found on Investopedia



THE FRENCH CONNECTION U.S. News & Travel

The City of Light draws millions of visitors every year with its unforgettable ambiance. Of course, the divine cuisine and vast art collections deserve some of the credit as well. The gentle River Seine rambles through the city, flanked by stately museums, centuries-old churches, and blocks of Rococo- and Neoclassic-design architecture, further enhanced by charming trees and glowing streetlamps. Peppering the Seine's cobbled walks and graceful bridges are impossibly chic Parisians, probably on their way to the market, cafe or cinema. Containing world-class museums, fashion, cuisine, and an atmosphere all its own, Paris is also a city of "many splendors," as Ernest Hemingway recalled in his memoir, "A Moveable Feast." Visit the Centre Pompidou, enjoy gourmet pastries, shop couture on the Champs Élysées or hit the boutiques in Les Halles, take in the view atop the Eiffel Tower, or even plan a day trip to Versailles Palace. But don't miss out on the simple pleasure of meandering the marvelous arrondissements (districts).

How To Save Money in Paris   

Get the Paris Visite pass This card grants you unlimited travel on the métro, bus and RER trains around the city, and also offers discounts on admission for many top attractions and tours. Eat prix-fixe If you want a taste of fine dining, enjoy it at lunch when highly acclaimed restaurants offer cost-efficient fixed-price menus. Shop Monoprix for souvenirs This Target equivalent has just about everything at affordable prices


Paris Culture & Customs There's this idea that Parisians stick up their noses to Americans — that they're notoriously unfriendly and even rude. However, a little savoir-faire, or diplomacy, helps. So, try to speak the language, if only a kindly bonjour (hello or good day) or bonsoir (good evening). If you're at a loss for words, politely ask the waiter or shop attendant pouvez-vous m'aider? (can you help me?) or parlez-vous anglais (do you speak English?). Another helpful phrase: Excusez-moi (pardon me or excuse me). Try to blend into the refined sophistication of Parisian life rather than stick out as a loud, garish or uncouth visitor. Speaking of trying to blend in … Paris is one of the most fashionable cities in the world. Leave the fanny packs at home. After all, everyone from Marie Antoinette and Coco Chanel to Yves Saint Laurent and Christian Lacroix got their start in haute-couture fashion in Paris — and their influence remains. Blend in with the locals by dressing stylishly and taking pride in what you choose to wear. But take note, certain items of clothing such as shorts and sneakers are frowned upon, especially in restaurants and night clubs. France uses the euro, and major credit cards are accepted at most establishments in Paris. Since the euro to U.S. dollar exchange rate fluctuates, be sure to check what the current exchange rate is before you go. Keep in mind the exchange rate when you tip and make purchases. Some smaller bakeries or bistros may only take cash, though, so research ahead of time. Most restaurants and cafes will include a 10 to 15 percent service charge (service compris) on the bill. You can leave some additional change for exceptional service, if you wish. Taxi drivers tend to expect a 5 to 10 percent tip, though usually rounding to the nearest euro or two will often suffice. You may also encounter fees to use the bathroom in some restaurants and bathroom attendants in many bars in Paris. If the fee isn't collected ahead of the use of the facilities, it's polite to leave 50 cents to a euro for the attendants.

Paris Dining Similar to many other international cities, Paris offers a surplus of restaurants that serve up everything from Asian fusion dishes to nouveaux bistro fare. And because France invented a widely adopted style of cooking, the food in Paris is très bien. Look for upscale establishments in the 1er arrondissement (1st district) and in Marais, as well as around Champs-Elysées and the Eiffel Tower. The 2ème arrondissement has a number of cheap eateries and cafes, as does Montmartre. No matter where you choose to dine, you should sample some French staples like soupe à l'oignon gratinée (French onion soup), croque-monsieur (a grilled cheese and ham sandwich smothered in more melted cheese), steak frites (steak and french fries) and coquilles St-Jacques (seasoned scallops topped with cheese and bread curmbs served in a shell). Those with a sweet tooth should save room to try some of the following French desserts: macarons, pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants), puits d'amours (large puff pastries filled with vanilla cream and drizzled with caramel sauce) or crêpes (fixins' range from Nutella to bananas and berries).


For a meal on the go, pick up a baguette sandwich at a traiteurs or grab a quick savory crêpe at a crêperie or crepe stand. Chocolat chaud (hot chocolate), café crème (coffee with cream) and other drinks can be enjoyed at any of the city's many cafes. And if you want to save some euros, head to the local grocer and pick up some snacks for the day. Cheaper bistros and brasseries abound, but for some French fine-dining, splurge at Guy Savoy, Bistrot Paul Bert or Chez Andre, among other pricey yet delicious dining establishments. Famed foodie Julia Child wrote "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" — rather than something Rachel Rayesque like "30 Minute French Meals" — because French meal preparation is an art. Even the art of perfecting French specialties (wine, cheese, pastry) are a reflection of the time and care put into a meal. Likewise, linger over your French fine-dining experience, realizing that the food is meant to be savored rather than gulped. And remember, elbows off the table!

Next Month from BEAUTY COME FORTH Online Magazine





L

eaving A Legacy of Beauty By Myra Wallace

To think this all started with a simple message triggered by a conversation with a dear friend four years ago. As I reflect back on that purposed filled night, I clearly remember the passion in my voice as we discussed plans for her upcoming Milk and Honey Life Retreat. Sharon Elliott and I were visiting the beautiful Boulders resort in Phoenix Arizona, on a quest to find the perfect location for her retreat. Aside from being founder of the Retreat, Mrs. Elliott is also a gifted writer, established editor, teacher and motivational speaker. As she expressed her interest in me presenting a class on fashion and beauty, something snapped. I began to share with her my thoughts about how I felt about society’s perspective of women’s beauty and how we were missing it. I shared my experience of working in this vain and sometimes shallow fashion industry for more than half my life and the frustration I felt with the constant emphasis on beautifying the woman’s face and body while ignoring her inner soul. I then said “there are so many broken women, walking around appearing whole”, and I remember her instantaneous response, “you gotta write the book about it”. I was like, write a book! Oh no, I’ve got way too many things on my plate for me to even begin to consider writing a book, “besides” I continued “I’m not a writer”. Well as God would have it, a writer was born, but little did I know, in that same moment a movement was birthed and the legacy began. It took me two years to complete the first edition of my book Beauty Come Forth-Unleash the Beauty Within, and I was honored to have my dear sister and my first lady Myesha Chaney, publish the book through her publishing company Tab Publications. Well, as many of you are aware, when God is in doing a thing, he never does it with just the present in mind, he has already seen it to it’s end, before we even begin. I realized that once he had planted that seed for writing the book he began to drop visions of a whole movement in my spirit. This was bigger than me, bigger than anything I could ever imagine or accomplish by myself. I began to share the idea of this beauty movement with a few people, while my close friend and fabulous celebrity stylist Karen and I had began to discuss plans to produce a Beauty Come Forth Conference, a conference that addressed the need to cultivate a woman’s outer and inner beauty. Well, once again as God would have it, favor showed up and sister Myesha offered Antioch as a venue to host our conference. So there I was with a book, a conference and the kick off of a movement. The word began to spread fast, I had written the vision down and the herald had surely run with it. The first Beauty Come Forth Conference was held in Las Vegas with four speakers and a small group of hungry women ready to hear what God had to say about how to cultivate their inner beauty. By our second conference held in Long Beach at Antioch, our attendance was multiplied by ten and our speakers and workshops grew to ten. Talking about exceedingly abundantly above all that I could hope or think, you got it, God was doing the dog on thing. So now what? I thought, I’m just along for the ride, so what’s our next move Lord? The books are slowly beginning to move, the conference was a success, how do I get the book out there to the masses? How do I introduce this whole new beauty paradigm? The answer, you have not, because you ask not.


I began recruiting those who people God had placed in my life who were gifted in areas where I lacked. Enter, my beautiful niece, Nailah Lee, who has an amazing gift of administration and journalism and my dearest brother and friend, creative director and marketing master, Davide Stennett. Now this is where the story gets gooder. As we began to discuss new ways to brand the book and ignite the movement, we came to agree that the first order of business was a website. As my mind began to envision this massive movement of God, my mind went to overload. I couldn’t think, all I knew was that it had to be bigger than anything I could think of or create. One day, before a planning meeting with my initial web designer, Phallu and creative director, Mr. Stennett, my neice, Nailah calls me with this bright idea about how people read a book, then place it on the shelf, but how a magazine has longer staying power and visual appeal, she then says “ I was thinking you should start a magazine”, I thought to myself, is this a joke, where’s the cameras? I simply replied, I don’t think so, a magazine is a whole other animal, that I have neither the time or resources to take on, but hey with your journalistic savvy, you do it and I will support you all the way. The following day as I sat in a meeting with Davide and Phallu searching for the right look and concept for my website, my brain began to ache once again and I decided to take a break. As I walked away, I told them that I trusted their judgment and creative instincts with regards to the direction the project should go to best market for me, my book and the movement. My final words were whatever you decided, I will do it. Well little did I know they would come up with the same bright idea Nailah suggested the day before. My first thought was that this was some kind of conspiracy and they had set me up. Only to find out they had not spoken to Nailah. I knew then, it must be God’s plan and my famous last words on that subject came to fruition, I trusted their creative instincts and more importantly, God’s voice. I must admit, however, it has been my Senior Managing Editor, Wendy M. Reynolds, who has held me to those words, while putting her hands to the plow to keep this vision going month after month, never skipping a beat. Obedience is key when it comes to living on purpose and because of it, here we are, Beauty Come Forth nine years in the making. Kept alive by prayer and dedication of those who believed in the movement and ran with the vision. I must say,it hasn’t been easy, but it has definitely been worth it, and though I may receive many accolades for this vision, it has truly been the hard work of those who, wrote, photographed or contributed every month, encouraging the vision, empowering the vision and keep the vision going. May the legacy continue.


Beauty Come Forth Webzine--- the New Beauty Paradigm….

VISION This BCF Online Magazine is a monthly magazine featuring articles that address the lifestyle of women in transition to greatness.

MISSION The mission of BCF Online magazine is to Inspire, Motivate and Transform women’s Beauty through; fashion, finance, fitness, food, health, environment, entertainment, relationship, charity and spirituality.

PURPOSE To “Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in”

BCF COPYRIGHT 2009


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