BCF-APRIL 2020

The Power of Patience Actively Waiting

By Myra Wallace-Walker I don’t know about you, but there are times that I say to myself, “I’m tired of waiting”. Tired of waiting in line at the grocery store because they don’t have enough cashiers or self check-out machines working.

Tired of waiting for traffic to die down so I can get on the road and get to wherever it is I’m going. Tired of waiting on hold for another automatic voice prompt to direct me to the wrong department. I mean is anyone aware that time is of the essence?

I’m sure you can relate to this impatient mindset that has now backed mainstream civilization into an intolerable conundrum of annoying cynicism. We’ve traded compassion for coldness, consideration for contempt. We want to wait, we just don’t have the time to wait. Or is it that we just choose to spend our time actively doing something else? Then again, if we are someone who makes that choice, more than likely the next item we choose will also require the time we supposedly don’t have. But whose managing your time? When you think about it, isn’t time relative to the things we desire to occupy it?

Why is it that while going through a hard time or when we encounter a setback while in pursuit of a goal, that it’s not until after we make it through the opposition or overcome the stronghold that caused the delay in us successfully accomplishing our goal, that we are able to say, it was worth the wait? Perhaps the times delay had our plans in a headlock, it was for our own good. Wouldn’t it serve us better to embrace patience with the same passion that fuels our intolerance? I’ve often heard people say, don’t ask for patience because God might put a situation in your life that requires patience. Now how much sense does that make? I don’t believe God plays those kinds of games, but I do believe that patience is a gift from God and as with any gift it should be received with the grace in which the giver gave it and countered with the mercy it was created to offer.

We must learn to actively wait in this life. We must take the time it takes. We are all aware of what happens at the end of our story ends, so what’s the rush? Our culture has done an injustice by creating this world of relentless convenience. We’re convinced that there is always a faster way to get what we want without considering what we may be passing up as we rush to the next convenient choice. Well patience is the antithesis of this “need it now” arrogant perspective, it requires us to actively wait. Yet, because convenience has become an essential part of our lives, we take on an attitude of entitlement that disparages patience and celebrates convenience.

We all must come to appreciate the hidden power of recognizing when we must wait on something. We must embrace this time of waiting by remaining conscious to our triggers that send us into that need for instant results. Sure, it takes practice, but we must participate in the process. Start by recognizing the need to be more patient, then at some point during your day, when the moment arrives, screaming for

you to respond in an intolerant way, mentally take pause and allow compassion to step in and finish the job.

Isn’t it amazing the difference 10 seconds can make in your lifetime, especially when you compare it to the benefits that might be waiting on the other side of those 10 seconds When you? really think about it, weren’t all the things that you value, love and appreciate in your life, worth waiting for? The things or people that, if you had to do it all again, you would choose to do it all again, but had you moved too quick, gave up too early or decided to quit, some of those things or people may not even exist in your life. It makes you appreciate the times you did wait.

Even if your wait was a result of no other options, whether you actively or defiantly waited, the result was the same. The only difference is that you invested all that energy and time frustrated over something that obviously was not purposed to happen until it ultimately did. Yes there is great power in patience, so let us all pursue it with passion.

Myra Walker

Myra@beautycomeforth IG: @beautycomeforth FB: Beauty Come Forth Online

BELIEVE

By Wendy M. Reynolds

Just the other day I faced some things that tried to shake my faith and bring me downLife affecting things that tossed my world all around.

I sat and pondered what would become my fateDo I shrink away in fear or step up to the plate?

I had found it easier to talk of faith when things are going ok.

But little did I know my faith would be tested and stretched that day.

The choice is before me- to trust or not trust that God’s word is realTo walk in His authority or walk by what I feel.

Not feeling very prepared for the challenges of my trials I closed my eyes- lifted up my hands and said Lord, I’ll….

I’ll believe.

I believe in You Lord and the things that You can do.

I will walk in Your word because I know it’s true.

As the storms clouds form and I see the raging sea I’ll step out in faith knowing, You will sustain me.

Lord, I’ll believe Now let me tell you the truth- Things didn’t change right away.

I constantly have to step out on and stretch my faith everyday In order to believe what my natural eyes can’t seeIn order to believe God to take care of me.

Every day I speak His word and a key is my persistence In calling those things though they be not as though they are, into my existence Doubt tries to creep in. I try to catch it right away By making sure that what I believe is in line with what I say.

I believe in You Lord and the things that You can do I will walk in Your word because I know its true.

As the storms clouds form and I see the raging sea I’ll step out in faith knowing You will sustain me.

Lord, I’ll believe.

Wendy M. Reynolds (date not known)

YOU DESERVE TO LOOK AND FEEL YOUR BEST

By Jená Shorter

“Forgive me hands, for I have held everything else but myself,” spoken by Janne Robinson. If we’re being honest, I’m sure most women would join Janne in saying this. As women, why are we so aware of what everyone else deserves except ourselves? Do you deserve to look beautiful? Absolutely!

Truthfully, every, single woman does, and I could go on and on convincing you how much you’re worthy and deserving to feel and look great but guess what, none of that will matter or even fully resonate if you don’t first believe it. Countless times I’ve heard women say, “There’s just no way that I could pull that off.” or “I wish that I was the fashionable type.” or even, “I just don’t have the time to care about what I am wearing.” Well ladies, I am the fashionable type, but I am also aware that I deserve to put forth the effort to look and feel my best.

I am a single mother of three young children so believe me when I say that I understand “not having the time” for myself sometimes but I make a very conscience effort. I am a firm believer that when you look good, you feel good. Yes, style is obviously about clothes and making sure they fit correctly but it is also about you and how you feel about yourself. Sis, you deserve to carve out time to pick out the outfit that will have Alicia Key’s ‘This Girl Is On Fire’ playing on repeat in your mind.

You deserve to do what’s necessary to invest in yourself so that the way that you feel about yourself shines through your outfit.

How many times have you just thrown something on and found your head hanging a

little low, but on the days that you decided to put your best foot forward and put on something great, you had a little pep in your step, your head held high and shoulders pushed back? Will it possibly take a few sacrifices? Sure!

So maybe this means that you wake up a little earlier to curl your hair instead of throwing it back into that same ponytail or you stay up a little later to put together your outfit for the next day like you use to do for your children or still even do. Can you repeat after me please? Self-Care is not selfish! Shoot, repeat that as many times as you need to friend.

And ladies, what a great example to show our daughters that it’s okay to be so thoughtful of herself. One day she will wear many hats like her mama, but she will know to make herself a priority and not feel guilty about it.

I want to encourage and really even challenge you to daily make an effort to put your best foot forward for yourself. This is a mind shift to walk in the truth of your worth and dress in a way that lines up with that. I read a quote recently that said, “If I could help every woman feel beautiful, and teach every little girl how to love herself, that would be my superpower” and boy is that so true. I know as life happens and it’s extremely easy for us women to forget about ourselves and give ourselves the leftover but sis, you are the entire meal!

Maybe this process looks like you writing a letter to yourself listing all of things that make you feel like your best you and then treating yourself to a mini shopping spree. In the months to come, I look forward to sharing with you all of the newest trends, styling tips, who inspires me as a fellow fashionista, and all things fashion/style but it was truly important to me to set the foundation of you first knowing that you are deserving and worthy to feel and look your absolute best. Nothing is shallow or even superficial about you wanting this. God made zero mistakes so embrace where you and get ready to put your first fashion foot forward.

Email: bookjenamonique@gmail.com Website: shopjenamonique.com Instagram: StyledbyJenaMonique

Million Heir-Williams A Celebration of Womanhood is a mindset development to hold onto in these days of demands, deadlines, obligations, and responsibilities. It is effortless to get caught up in the vicissitudes of life. However, You, as a Woman, Must, Should, Need, and Come to a place of learning how do I Celebrate myself? Have you ever stopped to think about how many roles you perform in a day? As a woman, you may be one of the following or all of the following: a wife, mother, entrepreneur, pregnant, sister, aunt, grandmother, entrepreneur, foster parent, mentor, friend, network affiliations, charity organizations, PTA parent, church member, caretaker, etc. There is always someone or something grappling for our attention. Being who we are, we can succumb to everyone’s appeal around us and completely forget we are human and in need of care as well.

Last month, on March 8th was a celebration of International Women’s Day. However, Women’s History is celebrated for the entire month. Congress designated Women’s History Month in 1987. The purpose of “Women’s Herstory” is to bring awareness, educate, and recognize the countless achievements and contributions to society women have made.

There have been women who have walked into companies and have become CEOs, Presidents and Executive Directors of significant fortune 500 companies and made contributions to industries unknown to men. We are educated and highly proficient in our areas of expertise.

My mom always said, “Give me my flowers while I am alive.” Clearly, this is saying, acknowledge me while I am still here with you because one day, I will not be in your physical presence. Please, do not take me for granted. I am on the same team and I am here to love, nurture, and support you. However, please recognize who I am while I am giving and taking care of you.

When I think about a woman being pregnant for nine months out of the year, and still, she rises to the many activities of the day and frequently, I am in awe. She may still be working a nine to five, with perhaps other children at home while pregnant with the next, and have a husband or sometimes single. A woman is continually thinking about the needs of everyone around her, except herself.

Do we come with flaws? Yes, however, even with those flaws, we still rise to the occasion to sustain, maintain, and perform as we carry the past hurts and disappointments of childhood

and the present inside our souls. Some of us know how to release. Some of us are in the process.

And then as dismal as it may sound, some of us don’t want to release. This is when it is incumbent upon us to go where no one wants to travel internally.

Understand we have made mistakes, and there is a price that others must pay based on our decisions. I tell my grown children today, let’s talk about those times when my choices were not most beneficial to the family and respect one another during the dialogue so we can as a family grow and learn from our past errors. Holding people hostage for past mistakes is just as horrific as slavery. I can only do better in the present and not make those same mistakes in the future if I am a woman of change.

Here are a few tips on how to celebrate you, your womanhood: 1) Make sure you take time out of your busy day and meditate and play meditation music, which is very relaxing and soothing.

2) Use essential oils to create an atmosphere that smells refreshing.

3) Take a bath and use bath salts, candles, and relaxing music.

4) Take a walk in the park or on the beach.

5) Read your favorite book.

6) When you get in from work, take fifteen minutes to unwind and teach the rest of the family to do the same.

7) Spend Sista Girl time with friends who love and support you on the regular!

8) Buy yourself a bouquet because you deserve it. Don’t always wait for your mate to do this. Do it for you!

9) Always honor you in whatever situation or circumstance you find yourself confronted with at the time.

10) Demand Respect 24/7 in ALL relationships!

“Millionism” You are a precious jewel, who is priceless and wonderfully made by GOD himself. www.EffectuaLifeCoaching.com info@effectualifecoaching.com FB: EffectuaLifeCoaching Twitter: @EffectualCoach IG: @effectualifecoaching Linkedin.com/in/EffectuaLifeCoaching

By: Nailah Sabah

The woman I was yesterday‌ We said I do in front of everyone. Wow! I can't believe this happened. I remember standing there with a full heart looking at the man of my dreams knowing that this was it. I disregarded the fact that he was over an hour late because regret was the furthest thing from my mind. I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would say never disregard the facts that are in front of you. Love is not blind, but naivety is.

It's only been 6 months and I'm wondering what I did wrong? This is supposed to be the newlywed year where it's just us in this bed ravishing one another. What's happening. He's not touching me like he did before. Is it me? I have picked up a few pounds but that's just love weight.

It's nothing. Don't cry, you're just emotional. Everything is fine. I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would say your weight or the way you look is never a determining factor of how someone feels about you. Don’t ever doubt yourself or your worth in any circumstance.

I'm pregnant. It's all coming together. Our family is the perfect blend. He meets me every day by my car when I pull up from work. He takes my hand in his and helps me to the house. So sweet. He loves me. Oh I can here Jill Scott singing. Girrrl! You didn't know you were singing about my man. Soon our child is born and is perfect just like our love. God you did this. You put this together. I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would tell you to relish in the beautiful moments in your relationship. Yes, there were hard times but if you remember the good as well, the balance will give your soul the equilibrium it needs to heal.

Babies change things. I just wish he would sleep in the bed with me. He said it's for the best and gave the baby his side. My body is yearning for his. I miss his touch. I pull at him, but he says it's for the best. I trust him. We did meet up at times for moments of pleasure. His touch is everything! He reminds me of who I am as a woman. I knew it wouldn't last long. I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would tell you a physical connection is just as important as a mental and emotional one.

He's sick. I'm going to take care of my man. Vegetables, time, words of encouragement, doctor's appointments. Yes, we got this baby! He's angry at his prognosis. He's starting to fuss at me. It's just the sickness. Plus, he's right. I have picked up a little weight and his job is stressful. I pull at him for that special touch. He slightly pulls away. It's okay. He's not feeling it. He's just sick. Stress is hard on him. I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would tell you always do the right thing for your partner. The quantity of love you give is not predicated on what your partner is able to give.

His focus has changed. Everything I do and say is wrong. I'm walking on eggshells. I'm praying for answers. This can't be right. Where is my boo, my lover? He's a shell of the man I married. Is he seeing someone else...Stop! Don't even think that. He loves me. The words of our song now escape me. I'm missing something. He doesn't see me anymore. I have picked up a few pounds.

Maybe that's it. He has said it before. But that can't be it...because I'm his forever and he is mine.

The woman I am today would tell you to walk in strength and purpose no matter the situation.

My pillow stays wet with tears. He doesn't sleep in the same bed with me anymore. Our baby is now 7 with her own room so what's the excuse. Is it me? I have gained a few pounds. He said I need to lose weight. I say I need him to love me again. To touch me, to hold me but my weight keeps being brought up. I physically pull at him, grab him to kiss me like we used to.

Now he pulls away completely. I'm confused. I'm hurt. I'm forgetting the reasons why I should fight for this.

When he does lay in our bed with me, he puts his back to me. His sights are no longer set on me but on the door he faces. Should I tap him to turn

around? Change his directional view back to me? Begging becomes a constant daily chore. I'm losing sight of who I am. Why doesn't he want me? I thought I was his forever and he was mine.

The woman I am today would tell you to never beg for love. Period. ‘How do you file for divorce?' My God, did I just search that on Google! I'm left feeling incomplete.

He said he just doesn't have feelings for anything. I feel empty inside. I find myself wandering through the halls at work, not knowing if I'm awake or dreaming. Even if I am, being awake in the reality that he doesn't desire me is too hard to bear. It was the weight. 'Why can't you just change', he says. I've tried to but nothing sticks. But what had stuck for the past 15 years was me to him. Now I'm left trying to pick up the pieces of my life. How do I reclaim an identity I no longer recognize? Who am I without him? He is not mine forever and no longer am I his.

The woman I am today would ask myself so many questions. But today I pose the questions to you. How many of you have patiently waited for love in a home where it should blossom like a rose in springtime? Patience is a virtue but coupled with the loss of your identity becomes an oxymoron to the very definition of the word.

Love is not hard but losing the coordinates of your identity is. Counseling, journaling, reading books, and prayer are just a few ways to start the healing process. But remember this, at the end of the day, make sure your love letter ends with you being whole. Remember who you are and never allow anyone else to put you in a situation where you forget. msnailahsabah@gmail.com Instagram: Nailah.Sabah

By Stacy McClendon Have you ever wondered why you feel a stronghold and connection to someone who is no longer in your life? Sometimes the feeling is so intense that it seeks to draw you back to a place or things that you know are not healthy for you (hence why it ended in the first place).

This urging can be extremely persistent and nagging at times. It attempts to enter our mind and body through memories, thoughts and/or emotions. The attempts may have you feeling as if you’re connecting with this person in the flesh, even though you may not have seen or connected with them in quite some time.

This stronghold is due to a Soul Tie that has been formed. You may be wondering just what a Soul Tie is and how this happens. The answer is extremely deep. Hold on and take a trip with me as I dive into the world of Soul Ties.

A Soul Tie can be created through: - A Marriage - A Close relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) - Through Vows, Commitments and/or Agreements The focus of this article will be on the sexual soul ties formed through close relationships, as this is occurring at an alarming rate. This is due in part to the fact that the world that we currently reside in promotes and even encourages an environment of sexual freedom (even among teenagers), along with the fact that the platform of Social Media exposes children and adults to a variety of inappropriate content in a split second on a daily basis. These are just a few reasons, and I’m sure there are many, many more.

If you ask most people what a Soul Tie is, they probably will tell you they have never heard of it. However, this is not uncommon, as I, myself, only learned what Soul Ties were about 5-6 years ago and I was raised by bible principles.

Every time you have a sexual experience with someone, you are connecting with them through your spirit, soul and body. Every person you have had sex with deposits something into your soul that creates an attachment. This attachment can be beautiful if it’s a good covenant formed/bound by God. However, most relationships are not this way, as the world we live in and humans as we know it (me included) are flawed and doing the best they can in this imperfect world. In addition, many choose to

have sexual relationships for the wrong reasons (i.e. loneliness, looking for love, someone’s outward appearance, to get their sexual needs met, and the list goes on and on and on). Most men and women have had multiple/many sexual partners.

Every new intimate relationship brings both people in contact with a part of each person’s set of sexual partners that they’ve been intimate with. A piece of your partner (whether good or bad) stays with you and your partner for the rest of your life. Sometimes people who have had many past sexual relationships find it extremely difficult to form a bond with anyone, as their soul is fragmented and doesn’t know how to connect to one person.

In addition, every person was raised differently, sees the world through their own lens, may carry baggage from previous family/relationships, may make choices (either good/bad) based on the baggage the carry and/or may have experienced/encountered some form of mental or physical abuse on their journey through life thus far (just to name a few). Bringing this into a sexual relationship haphazardly can be an emotional roller-coaster for both parties, that can be difficult to fix or end.

You may be wondering if there is a solution to this. The answer is YES! We must always remember that any issue we may have can be healed when brought to God in prayer. You can do this alone (if you’re not in a marriage/relationship), or with your partner (if you’re in a marriage/relationship). Doing this will allow God to assist you in cleansing your soul/mind/body while preparing yourself to build the healthy, thriving relationship that you desire in a way that God originally intended.

Sex was never intended to bind us in a self-destructive way. Sex is supposed to show God’s highest expression of love. Two souls are meant to come together as one, while opening their mind, soul and body to connect on a deeper level. This type of connection cannot occur without a deep sense of trust, love and commitment to your partner.

The sexual experience as intended cannot occur and will be cheapened, due the soul fragmentation mentioned earlier, until a decision is made to come to God in prayer for forgiveness.

Please read and recite the prayer below to begin the healing and removal of any Soul Ties previously incurred:

By Myra Wallace-Walker Beauty Come Forth is excited to share the journey of this month’s Boss Lady Beauty, Dawn Myer, a pioneer and trailblazer, paving the way for our voices to be heard and our creative ventures to be recognized. Dawn is the founder and creator of the hair tool, The MOST MINT. This one device, detangles, applies product, and delivers conditioned moisturizers to natural hair.

I was able to have a chat with this remarkable young lady and glean some of her wisdom to share with our subscribers.

Headquartered in DC, Dawn has an international team of women working around the world, from Athens Greece, to England, to San Diego, California. Passionate about her business, that not only addresses the real needs of caring for natural hair amongst black women, but she has also taken a stand to empower women of color to stay the course in pursuing their passion.

Although this venture began in February of 2018, Dawn says it has been a learning curve. Not only the visionary, she was hands on in engineering and construction the first prototype of her product.

What empowered you to create your product, The Most Mint?

Major manufacturers have been making tons of money off what black women and women of color spend on their hair. These companies are not producing things that are tailored to our needs nor are they accommodating our natural hair. Everything on the market is about us changing our aesthetic, making our curly hair straight, for us to change to fit someone else’s aesthetic. I wanted to create a tool that catered to our natural aesthetic. The major corporations producing hair products, who have the funds to serve our needs, do not have a black women in their (R & D suites) research and development suites, so they do not have any idea of what we need, even though black women are buying a huge proportion of their products, they still have no idea of what we need to take care of our natural hair. Nor are any represented in leadership for these corporations.

What has been your biggest challenge in starting your business?

Our biggest challenge is raising the money required to roll out a new product. No corporation is rolling out a new product for less than 5 million dollars, so since we don’t have that kind of money, we are leaning on women who have this problem, operating similar to FUBU’s model of “for us by us”. My company,“The Most” was created and built by black women leaning on the community that needs it most to move it forward. Black women get something like .0006 %of venture funding per year, of the 1 billion invested into businesses last year, women only received 80 million of that.

Tell us a little bit about your background.

Well I was born and raised in DC. I attended Boston college for my undergrad where I was a pre-law designee with a double major in sociology and communication. I initially thought I would do something that was more social justice oriented. When I ended up working on the Hill while attending law school at Howard University, I thought social justice would be more prominent, but realized it was not quite the right fit. Although Advocacy has been common thread throughout my career, I was able to take what I liked about each of these spaces that I worked in until I found something that was perfect. As soon as I found the entrepreneur space and started attending events I knew, this is where I’m supposed to be.

Many entrepreneurs are born to be, some become, did you always know you were going to be an entrepreneur?

Both of my parents were working class cops in the DC area, so I grew up in the police station. But the thing about police, was that everybody had a side hustle. My mom, she was the go-to for a lot of movies when they needed security for many on the movie sets. My Dad who was an undercover police officer, his thing was real estate. He would take houses that were decimated by drug, so the department offered officers cheap mortgages to buy these houses to park police cars in front of these homes to ward off bad elements from occupying these homes. Over time he kind of passed this real estate game to those who were around him, teaching everyone how to do real estate. I saw everyone around me had this 9 to 5 while doing this real estate thing on the side and that’s exactly what I did when I came out of law school. I opened a savings and started saving to invest in real estate. At the time I really didn’t think of it as being an entrepreneur, but it was entrepreneurship. I eventually was able to purchased nine units and once I found the entrepreneur space, I knew this is the problem I wanted to work on so over time, I liquidated all of my properties and put everything into this company.

What has been your source of inspiration?

I have to be honest, this is a very hard job, it’s hard in terms of how you have to be centered you have to be to get up do the work when it’s hard and nothing is working to still stay in it. I’d be lying if I said there were not moments, and I mean weeks and months where I was like, I can’t do this anymore. But the universe has a way that as soon as I would hit this low point, I would start getting random calls from people who would say, “ Oh my God I saw your product, I love it, I need it, you have to make this” and I would be like, OK Jesus, I heard you and we’ll keep working until I figure it out, so I think that’s been really inspiring, getting these messages from these awesome women. The second part is, I love it. Me, Natasha and Jess are all hours of the day and night going back and forth trying to move things forward. But I really do love the work and I think that’s my inspiration as well.

Tell us a little bit about the journey that has brought you to this point.

It’s a very winding path. As I mentioned, in college I thought I would do something around social justice, and in real estate. I knew I was going to do something with these properties, but I wasn’t’ thinking I’m an entrepreneur, I’m thinking I’m a social justice advocate. Then I had friends who were in the business world, and it was like I wanted to peek over into their world and see what was going on over there. So, my senior year I got an entry level position with a wealth management bank, which showed me what was going on behind the business world.

After college I went to Dartman business school, in like a pre- MBA program, where I learned a lot, including the verbiage and lingo associated with the business world. During my first internship, I realized early on that law was not for me. From there I went on to politics where I thought it would be more exciting, and it was. But politics is also messy and though I went into that space to help people and fight the good fight, after a while, I didn’t feel like I was helping people or making an impact. After that I went into the business side of law firms, because although I had the credentials, I did not want to practice law.

While there, I continued to build my real estate portfolio, so when politics began to get a bit heated, I then pivoted into doing real estate full time. I found these entrepreneurship groups and started looking into start-ups. That experience led me to liquidating my properties to get me where I am now.

When did you know this business venture was the thing for you?

One day I was watching Shark Tank. There was this beautiful white woman with this beautiful thick curly hair, who wanted to wear her hair curly every day, and because it took so much time to get this look, she created a product that would allow her the same results with less work and time. I began to reflected on the fact that majority of the products on the hair styling aisle in stores are dedicated to women who look like her, yet she was able to tweak an existing product changed the material and within a year she had

made a million dollars. I thought how black women spend so much money on hair products and was sure I could come up with something that addresses the problems we face when it comes to styling our natural hair. I thought about the problems I face with the process of styling my natural hair and how I could create a tool that would make the process easier while optimize the process of conditioning, detangling and styling natural hair. I then came up with a very rudimentary version of my product.

What’s the best part of what you do?

The best part of what I do is learning. This space is always challenging me to learn more.

What is your best boss lady beauty attribute?

I would say confidence. I believe it’s what really matters in this business space. I want all these women to know what matters most is what they produce, how good they are to other people on the team, the quality of their work and their skills and talents. Jess, one of her team members, who was present during the interview, interjected by sharing a story that reflected Dawn’s passion to encourage and celebrate women’s inner beauty and the fact that she constantly empowers her colleagues and the women around her by letting them know that their work is more important than their outer beauty.

Where do you see your business in 5 years?

In five, six, seven years, I’d like to see us heading towards a significant exit. I believe it’s not very often you come across a company that has real scalable exit potential, I don’t know if we will get there but I believe we can, with the right support. Our company has this awesome intellectual property, because we have this renewable structure, like Gillette, or Harry’s or Dollar Shave Club and companies that have had billion dollar exits within ten years. I think we have that kind of potential, because none of those companies had what we have; the intellectual property, plus the hardware and renewable model, plus the ability to piggyback on brand loyalty associated with other brands. Our ultimate vision is the leveraging of our renewable structures, giving women the opportunity to go online and choose the brands they love in our renewable cartridges.

We will then roll it up into a subscription.

Even if we shoot for the stars and hit the moon, we’re still looking at a very robust exit.

I want to set an example and show this industry, that black women are a good bet, not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because we are going to make you money.

Not because it’s charity, but because we produce, and we are resilient, and we have

been making a lot out of nothing for generations and that’s exactly the type of person you want to bet on.

So that’s my vision.

Words of wisdom for a woman amid opening a business or becoming an entrepreneur?

I would tell her entrepreneurship is the art of turning lemons into lemonade. Entrepreneurship is the process of encountering these impossible obstacles and figuring out a way around them. I would tell her going into this, it’s supposed to be rocky, and when those rocky times come, just anchor yourself knowing that there are tons of other people, who don’t have nearly the wit resilience and resourcefulness that you do. For every obstacle she encounters there is an equal and opposite benefit. For every investor that turns you down and then feels guilty, tug on their heart strings and have them make two or three introductions for you. For every customer that leaves a bad review, do something amazing to show you appreciate them as a customer. There’s a way to benefit from every negative thing that happens if you are willing to think out of the box.

Dawn is a powerful and insightful businesswoman, that we need to keep an eye on, and more importantly support. We are honored to have put a spotlight on her journey and have her share her amazing journey.

A true Beauty Come Forth Boss Lady Beauty. I encourage you to follow her business and to go on her website and make your pre-order today!

To contact Dawn: www.dawndoesthemost.com @dawndoesthemost For information, or to pre-purchase The Most Mint, go to: www.themostcurls.com twitter/facebook/Instagram: @themostcurls

By Chris L. Gilrath II People are interesting, aren’t they? Sometimes we can be oblivious to others around us and therefore exhibit behaviors that are not very inviting and be downright rude and inconsiderate. You may have seen the tagline on social media or the hashtag that is called “There’s always one...” What does that term mean? Who is this person? Well look no further.

The Noise Monger: This person forgets that they are in a public place and has no regard for other people that are around. Imagine being on a train, bus, or airplane and you have that one person who starts talking very loudly. They are on their phone having a loud conversation or arguing with someone. No amount of looks from the people around deter them. There is also that person who play their music from their phones without the use of headphones. I was on the subway the other day and even experienced someone with a portable BLUETOOTH (yes Bluetooth) speaker having his own private concert on the train as if he was the only one there. There were plenty of looks and plenty of stares, but it was not enough to deter him. He continued to be loud and have his personal concert. There’s Always One The Line Robber: This person holds us all hostage in a line. The person in the checkout line at the store who is oblivious to the other people in line. This is the person who writes a check and take their time writing the check out and has nothing prepared. This is a person who not only writes their check out, but also the person who takes time to balance their checkbook with no regard to the other people in line. The person may also use their debit or credit card knowing there’s no money on it then have the audacity to debate the cashier, while we all look on. Cut to the person who is on their phone talking and having a conversation and being totally oblivious to the cashier or when they are supposed to render payment or they are on their phone texting or checking their social media and they do not realize they are holding up the line and do not seem to care. And of course, we cannot forget the person who goes through express lane with 50 items and they dare you to say something.

Now we know the struggle of going to the DMV to get renew our registration and/or driver’s license. You already know you are going to have to carve out an entire day for this endeavor. It does not help when

you have the person at the DMV that does not have all the necessary papers needed to process their driver’s license or car registration.

Rather than understanding this concept, and bowing out gracefully with the DMV representative, they want to argue with the person and therefore holding up the line for the rest of us.

Again, with no concept of anyone’s time but theirs. Your already terrible DMV experience is now much worse, thanks to the person who wants to prove a point at your expense. There’s Always One. The Parking Hoarder: We have all been there. We are at a shopping mall parking garage. Finding an empty parking space is like finding a $100 bill on the ground, it’s rare. However, you finally find a spot after circling for twenty minutes. And bam! Someone has their car parked in both spaces to avoid someone hitting their car. The epitome of rude. Your parking search begins again. There’s Always One. The Debate Champion: This is the person who argues about everything, even when he or knows they are wrong. This is the person that must disagree with a comment or interject their thoughts on something he or she really does not have the facts to. They troll social media pages and make some off the wall comment that gets people riled up and then acts as if they are being attacked for merely expressing his/her opinion. However, what the person fails to realize is that their comment was meant to cause controversy, elicit a response, or be indignant for no apparent reason. This is usually a person who has no connection or affiliation to the person who initially posted the comment. More commonly known as a troll. This person has riled up everyone so much that the troll or debate champion ends up being blocked by several people. This could also be the person who argues with you at work, or at a meeting or just disagrees with you for the sake of disagreeing. There’s Always One. But I Have A Question: Think about this. You are in a meeting or on a conference call. The meeting is already mundane and there are about one million other things that you could be doing. By some miracle, the facilitator of the meeting is going to dismiss the meeting early by uttering the famous line “If there are no other questions or concerns...” Then BAM there is that person who goes “Yes, I have a question.” The the inner eye rolls and sighs from everyone else. The question is not even relevant to the topic or rarely will it benefit anyone else on the call or in attendance. This is also the same person that must make continuous comments and interject thoughts throughout the meeting knowing that everyone’s time is valuable. This is the person for which protocols have been put in place for certain meetings. There’s Always One…

Which one are you?

We all do things that may drive people crazy. It’s human nature, but there are simply things that we do that may make someone else’s day to day routines more strenuous and tedious. Be respectful of others time, space, and peace of minds. Don’t be that one.

Email: clgil77@gmail.com www.chrisgilrath2.blogspot.com https://www.instagram.com/chrisgilrath2/ https://twitter.com/chrisgilrath2 https://www.facebook.com/chris.gilrathii

By Ivette Garcia Dunlap We daily hear about gender bias in the workplace. Some examples of these biases in the workplace are unequal pay, diminished responsibilities, positional bias, glass ceiling, sexual harassment, etc. These and other gender bias topics have made it to the news and social media recently. They are real and can’t be ignored.

I am a female, Latino, wife, mother, grandmother, entrepreneur, an electrical engineer, working in Corporate America and I can assure you I have experience some of the gender bias I mentioned above in the 26+ years professional career. However, I have not let them interfere with my professional career growth dream. It is important to have a plan, a narrative of actions to help guide your step up the ladder. However, with the speedy dynamic of Corporate America, we need to be prepared with a Plan B and even a Plan C, which means while we have a set goal, we also need some flexibility to adjust our path to get there. I will share with you some tips and lessons learned that help me break through the gender bias and reach the point of my career I have reached till now. * Passion vs. Emotion Freshly graduated from college, I got a job in an Electrical Consulting Company and the first assignment was to make an electrical field study at a Naval Base in the beautiful Island of Puerto Rico where I was born, raised and was still living at the time. I arrived at the Ft. Buchanan Naval Base 10 minutes prior to the scheduled meeting and sat in the immaculately lobby decorated with beautiful plants waiting to be called into the meeting. Few minutes later, an uniformed gentleman came out of a conference room scanning the lobby with his dark brown eyes, he turned to the receptionist and asked with a strong vice “Didn’t you say Engineer Garcia was already here?”; the receptionist looked at me and said “Mrs. Garcia, this is Colonel Gonzalez.” The gentleman stared at me confusedly and asked, “Are you an engineer?” I extended my hand to him, looking straight into his eyes and with a big smile, I replied “Nice to meet you Mr. Gonzalez. I know you have a busy schedule so let’s make sure I have the right drawings. I will complete the study within the minimum allowed time and will be out of your way in no time.”

His reaction made me feel he did not think a young female could be an engineer or maybe he didn’t think a young female was able to do the job he had requested from the company I was working for. I could have been upset but I didn’t let the emotion interfere with the passion I had for the job I was there to accomplished. I met with him several times for 3-4 months and even after the job was completed. I had earned his respect and appreciation. Emotions divert your focus from the job that needs to be completed.

They bring despair, frustration, and stress. None of these add value to your career. Leave emotions out and focus on the job, because at the end what you deliver speaks loud to what you are capable. * Sponsors/Mentors Mentors are key in our career growth. A mentor or advisor can assess our capabilities, give recommendations, introduce us to senior level executives and expose us to career broadening opportunities. Mentorship can be in a formal or informal capacity. I have had great mentors through my career. One of my mentors early in my career was my manager at Schneider Electric in Puerto Rico (1994-1997), Jose Francisco Cintron. He believed in me from the day he hired me. On the day of the job interview he learned I got married at a very young and gave birth to my three sons while I was working full time during the day and going to college at night to get my bachelor’s in electrical engineering degree.

He had a unique way to introduce me to others during meetings or conference … “This is Ivette, she is happily married with 3 children and have a bachelor’s in Electrical Engineering.” At the beginning it sounded odd but with time I learned how proud he was of having a female, the only female in his Sales Engineers team, that was able to juggled several responsibilities at a young age and managed to obtain a degree in a male predominant field. He offered me the opportunity to represent our district during quarterly district sales reviews at the corporate offices in Palatine, Illinois. That was a door-opening event and few months later, I was offered the opportunity to relocate within the company to Nashville, Tennessee joining the International Marketing Department.

Having influential mentors is important to gain recognition and promotions within your company.

Mentors may also suggest we take detours that will ease and strengthens our way to reach our goals. In 2012, during a Siemens Energy internal networking event, I met Maria Schmidt, former Head of Siemens Wind Power Talent Acquisition. After randomly talking to me (quietly and informally assessing me) for half hour she suggested I consider joining Siemens Wind Power. Little I knew this would bring another bump up in my career. * Networking Attending internal and external networking events is also very important for our career development and growth. The most important thing of networking is developing a relationship where you can help someone that you may need help from as well.

*Know your opponents, *How to get them buy-in, and *Observe and Assess are some of the tips that I will share with you in the next BCF issue. Don’t miss the opportunity to learn more tips about Breaking though Gender Bias.

Ivette Dunlap dunlapivga@gmail.com www.linkedin.com/in/ivette-g-dunlap-08a18738 https://www.facebook.com/DunlapIg

KETO: Is It Really the Magic Pill?

By Katheryn Jacobs We live in a world where healthy is king. But what exactly is good health? Today, there seems to be a pill for everything, or should I say a pill for every ailment. But what if we could eliminate the pills and heal our bodies with food? Better yet what if we do some preventative health by adjusting our diet to only eat healthy food? Then we must ask the question, what are healthy foods? Heathy foods are food that give and extend life.

It almost seems silly to have to say it, but all food is not healthy. As a matter of fact most of us in the modern world today have very unhealthy diets. It’s sad to say but what we’ve become are conscious eaters but not necessarily healthy eaters. We are very conscious of our calorie intake.

We take note of the grams of sugar in our beverages. We count our carbs and try to increase our salads. The vegan and vegetarian lifestyles have become communities of awareness. Yet, overall we are still not healthy enough to enter our later years of life without encountering some type of ailment that is caused by or triggered by the foods we eat.

Vanity and impatience have pushed their way to the front of the line of our dietary regiments. So how do we stop this vicious cycle? How do we reverse the damage our food is doing to us? The answer is that we re-educate ourselves on the basic food groups and the effects that each of them have on our bodies.

Think about all of the different diagnoses that are related to the foods we eat or our lack of nutritional value in the foods we eat. Things like: acid reflex, lactose intolerance, diabetes, migraine headaches, heart disease, high blood pressure are just a few of the medical conditions related to the foods that we eat. And to counter these health issues, we take pills. Pills that have more side effects to attend to than the symptoms of the original diagnosis. Then we tell ourselves everything is going to be okay if we just take our pill. But when do we stop to consider the true culprit that lead us to the demise of our healthy self? The answer is, rarely. Instead we want the quick fix, the magic pill, the option that requires the least amount of discipline and maximum amount of convenienceIn an attempt to look for more options to better understand the dynamics of the recent seemingly abundant cases of diabetes around the world with the highest percentage arising amongst the black and brown population, I’ve been confounded by the findings. This disease hit closes to home with my mom’s diagnosis in her mid-fifties and my recent diabetes diagnosis last year. Needless to say, it has hit too close to home for me to sit back, take a few pills and hope for the best. I became obsessed with finding an alternative solution. Enough with that pop a pill choice, I decided to be proactive in my quest toward health and the reversal of the rise of my A1C.

While having one of my many healthy food option discussions with a co-worker, she suggested that I watch a certain documentary she felt I might find interesting. Me, loving documentaries and anxious to hear more about some of the things she shared from this documentary, I decided to check it out. To be honest, I was initially turned off by the opening dialogue, mentioning what I had labeled as the new trendy way of eating. I am sure that you’ve either heard of or tried yourself, what’s now known as the Keto diet. I thought it was just another new way to lose weight. Boy, was I wrong! Since weight loss was not my issue, I wondered why I was watching this.

However, curiosity got the best of me, so I kept watching and I a m so glad I did. I found it as interesting and informative as she suggested I would. The name of the film is “The Magic Pill”.

According to healthline.com “The ketogenic diet is a very low-carb, high-fat diet that shares many similarities with the Atkins and low-carb diets. It involves drastically reducing carbohydrate intake and replacing it with fat. This reduction in carbs puts your body into a metabolic state called ketosis.” As soon as this occurs, the body starts to burn fat for energy. It also turns fat into ketones in the liver, which can supply energy for the brain. This diet can cause substantial reductions in blood sugar and insulin levels. This diet has a lot of health benefits.

After all, shouldn’t we eat to live, and not live to eat? You can catch The Magic Pill on Netflix or just google it. Let me know what you think, and I’ll let you know how my health improves as I continue to apply some of their suggested healthier options.

By Settie Crowell

OMG! It’s tax season once again and I am still not ready. Is that the mindset in which you enter into this time of year? Do you always need an extension? Do you wait to the last minute to look through your stack of mail for the W2s and 1099s? That used to be me because I just knew that I had made too much money and I was going to end up owing the IRS. I had a debtor’s mindset as opposed to a financial planner’s mindset. So I switched it up last year. I went from defensive to offensive. I decided to become aggressive about my personal finances and decreasing my tax debt.

I started thinking about what my taxes may be if I continued on this path of increasing my income and not increasing my tax shelters. I know that the first thing that everyone thinks of is that one should purchase a home. That’s easier said than done. I knew that I could not afford to buy a home, so I started looking into 401(K) and 403(B) options for myself. I also researched retirement insurance options that allowed me to pay into them in order to shelter my funds. In 2019, cnbc.com reported that the IRS had $1.4 billion dollars in old tax refunds. I wanted my cut and was determined to get it. If you feel the same way, here is what you do: Do the Research As I mentioned above, I started researching options to cut my tax debt. I did speak with a financial planner because I needed to stop acting as if money was something that I was never going to understand. I knew how to acquire it and make it work for the creditors and stores. However, I needed to learn how to keep it and invest it in order to make it work for me. I spoke to someone who could break it down into layman’s terms about investing and not just putting me on a budget. I didn’t need a degree in finance or accounting. I needed to talk to

someone else who did or at least had the experience in successful financial planning for themselves and others.

Do the Work I stopped researching and took action. I spoke with an insurance agent and got a whole life policy which allowed me to invest my monies so that I could not only shelter my money but provide a nest egg for retirement purposes.

I also found out that establishing a home-based business could be a good shelter, so I did that as well.

According to Jean Murray in an article entitled Tax Deductions for Your Home-Based Businesses, “Your home business can take two kinds of deductions. There are deductions you and all other businesses can take, and there are deductions that you must qualify for as a home business. The primary home business deduction is for your business space, and there's a two-step process for deducting the use of your space.

Because you are doing business in your home, you must prove that the space you are using for your business is (a) your principal place of business and (b) being used regularly and exclusively for your business.”

This was great news for me and I was able to put my business into play almost immediately. I’m going to receive money back this year and that’s a big deal for me! It did not take a twelve-step plan. I just did the research and did the work. It was just that simple.

Aggression is often characterized as something bad when it comes to women. However, being aggressive about ridding yourself of negative habits, traits or people in your life is not a bad thing. Dictionary.com defines aggression as pursuing one’s aim forcefully. Let us be aggressive about being financially solvent and debt-free, especially tax-debt! As women, taking control of our finances is a major step in becoming a Boss Lady Beauty!

By Dr. Janice R. Love

Visit homes, churches and workplaces all across the nation and the word of the day is stress.

According to the American Psychological Association’s 2019 “Stress in America Survey�, Americans are among the most stressed people in the world. What causes stress in our daily lives? According to the survey, money and work are the top two sources followed by family responsibilities as the third most common stressor. Other areas include health concerns, health problems affecting the family and the economy.

Typically, women and younger generations have the most stress in their lives. When I think about my own life, I have to contend with traffic, deadlines, emails, phones, meal preparation, exercise, personal appearance, work-life balance and environmental issues. Not to mention trying to maintain relationships by being a good wife, mother, step-mother, first lady, daughter, sister, co-worker and friend. The good news is the older I get the less stressed I seem to be.

How can you tell if you are stressed? Personally, my stress first shows up in my body. Physical symptoms may include, low energy, insomnia, anxiety, digestive problems, chronic pain, depression and overall crankiness. If not managed over time, stress can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and other chronic illnesses including cancer. Stress also makes us more susceptible to respiratory illnesses such as colds and viruses.

In an attempt to relieve stress, individuals have tried many remedies. We pray, talk to friends and family, exercise, sleep, diet, journal, meditate, and/or even go shopping in an attempt to alleviate stress. Interestingly, minorities particularly African Americans and Hispanics listen to music to help manage stress.

As Christians, God does not want us to live a life of worry and stress. We are instructed in Philippians 4:6 (NASB) to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Also, according to Proverbs 17:22 (CEV): “If you are cheerful, you feel good; if you are sad, you hurt all over.” God wants us to be happy and cheerful. Yes, there is a time for everything, including weeping, but Ecclesiastes 3:4 also tells us that there is a time to laugh. Even though times are tough and we are stressed we can still be joyful. Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NIV) reminds us that joy can be experienced even in the difficult times. “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

God gave us laughter as a gift to be used to make our lives more joyful in general. Laughter has many benefits and can decrease stress hormones, improve our immune system, relieve pain, trigger the release of endorphins or feel good chemicals, ease fear and anger and it even burns calories. In fact, if you laugh for 15 minutes you can burn up to 50 calories. Other benefits include lighter burdens, inspiring hope, connecting to others and releasing anger.

Lastly, laughter is contagious. Have you ever been around some one that has an infectious laugh?

Before you know it you are laughing yourself. My sister Jackie is one of those people. When she starts laughing the whole room lights up in laughter. I’m sure you know someone who has a similar effect on you.

Here are 5 ways to increase laughter in your life: 1. Learn to laugh at yourself – If you laugh at yourself you won’t take yourself so seriously, especially when you make a mistake.

2. Always laugh out loud (LOL) – Laughing out loud gives you the full benefits of laughter.

3. Up your laugh quota – On average adults should laugh no less than 15 times a day. Give it a try and see how much you can laugh. Find ways to smile and laugh every day.

4. Go towards laughter – When you hear laughter move towards it.

Don’t miss out on all the joy laughter can bring.

5. Hold on to fun memories – If something hilariously funny happens in your life, hold on to the memory. I have a family video on my phone of my dad dancing at our family Christmas gathering. When I get stressed out because my Mom is no longer with us and daddy’s health is declining, I look at that video and laugh to my heart’s desire. Not only is it heartwarming and hilarious to see daddy dancing, but my sister is howling in the background with her outrageous laugh.

Lastly, the scriptures remind us that God wants us to be happy and to rejoice in Him. “But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long your saving help always say, “The Lord is great.”(Psalm 40:16 NIV) In other words, keep laughing.

Blessings…

Dr. Janice R. Love, The First Lady Coach Email: pearls@janicerlove.com Website: http://thefirstladycoach.com Facebook: https://Facebook.com/pearlsperfected/ Private FB group: http://yesiammarriedtoministry.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefirstladycoach/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janicerlove Twitter: https://twitter.com/JaniceRLove10

How I long for the days of not needing shape wear! I remember when I could just get dressed and go. So sad to say that is no more. Gone are the days of putting on leggings without worries of dimples or jiggles from my butt. I used to be able to just put on a dress or skirt and not give any thought about what to wear under there. But when you put age, babies and gravity together, all of that changes pretty quickly.

Now, it is my daily routine to carefully consider what to wear under everything I put on. No matter what I wear, they’ve become one of my best friends.

My journey with shape wear, in the beginning, was not a very pleasant or welcomed one. I had gained some weight and wasn’t working out like I used to and subsequently, some things began to “shift”. My post baby body wasn’t like it used to be, so now my butt jiggled. And after seeing a picture of my butt, I was mortified by the sight. So I began to look for solutions. Other than support pantyhose and oldfashioned girdles that cut off your circulation, the pickings were slim. Then enter the era of Spanx and I was saved.

When I was 12 my body began to change and develop. I remember the frustration of panties not staying in place, digging into my hips and the constant pull and tug all throughout the day. This would continue for many years until the thong became popular and my new normal. I thought, problem solved! Nope!

This only created another one. Now I could wear pants and dresses without the worry of panty lines, and while this was true, it would only create a new problem several years later and give me a false sense of security. I soon realized I had no coverage or support “back there”.

So for me, bottom shape wear solved two problems. No longer would I have to buy panties that just didn’t work.

No matter how they were cut, be it a boy short, low cut brief or thong, they just never quite did the job. Now my shape wear on the other hand turned out to be the perfect solution. No panty lines or digging into my hips.

No more pulling, tugging or digging. I could get dressed and feel confident that everything was in place.

Support for our bottom half has come a long way from the tight confining girdles our predecessors wore. Today’s shape wear is actually comfortable and allows for movement. There are a myriad of brands. Some promise to take you down a size and some claim to give your butt a lift. No matter what brand you wear you are sure to find one that works for your shape and size. Shape wear is meant, not so much to reduce size, but to smooth out the bumps and lumps we may have on our thighs and butt as well as provide control to reduce the jiggle when you walk.

So just like with your bras give yourself some time and try on different brands, colors, and styles.

Take or wear the type of garment you plan to wear with your shape wear.

If you plan to wear pants or. Jeans look for one that comes below the knee so you don’t have a crease in your thigh.

Each one will offer a different solution. Some may give your butt a lift while others may hold your waist a little tighter.

Variety is the spice of life!

•

Get different types and colors.

A high waist boy short works well under your body con dresses. But if you’re wearing pants that could reveal more than you’d like, look for a Capri style. These usually will go from your waist to below the knee.

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Nude colors are great for your light colored and white pieces. Wear black under your dark pieces as a nude colored one could show through depending on the light. There are now nudes for everyone! No matter your skin tone, some brands offer a variety of nude shades to suit every woman.

Something for every budget.

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You can find bottom shape wear pieces priced from $10 to $170. Usually the higher priced ones have more construction and use a higher quality fabric with a higher percentage of Lycra, giving them more elasticity.

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If you are new to this, check return policies at each store and ask specifically about shape wear returns as some stores may not accept returns. One of my favorite brands, I get at my local drug store for only $10! I’ve tried more expensive, popular brands and they were comparable to some less expensive versions.

Talk to a girlfriend and find out what she’s wearing. We are often the best resource for each other.

As your body changes, your shape wear may need to change too. Maybe you’ll just need to change sizes, but depending on how you’ve changed, a new brand may be the solution for you. Enjoy the shape wear journey!

Casonna Gibson

THE BEAUTY OF A GRANDMOTHER

By Gerald Dwayne Harris

Greetings to you one and all. Beautiful readers of Beauty Come Forth, I trust and believe your lives have been the best of the best for you in the time we have spent apart. For all unperceived hardships of any sort that may have taken place during our absence of each other, you have all my compassion. And for all blessings, I celebrate and rejoice with you as well.

There are those of us that have been blessed to know, live with and love one or more of our grandmothers in our lifetime. So pretty quickly this becomes personal for me as I am going to share with you my younger days when I literally grew up with my maternal great-grandmother.

Her name was Bessie Givens and we all called her Nana. She was my mother’s paternal grandmother and she actually raised my mother in North Little Rock Arkansas. My mother simply called her Mama. She was so filled with wisdom and love that everyone else called her Mama Bessie whether they were actual family or not. Just knowing Mama Bessie meant you were already family.

No one was ever allowed to cut up in my Nana’s presence, she just didn’t allow it, she silently commanded a respect that I’m afraid is practically all but extinct today. We as kids didn’t run or raise our voices in the house when Nana was there. That was an absolute no no. It was disrespectful and she would let you know it. As kids, we were no one’s angels by far, but we were the best of kids whenever Nana was in the house.

As best I can figure my Nana was fifty-five years old when my oldest brother was born. She was always short and robust but quite agile and quick with a switch whenever need be. She was my refuge whenever one of my older brothers took a notion to render something not in my best interest my way. She’d simply look at them with a face that said “I know you aint that simple-minded, boy, now get on out of here while you still have time.”

Whatever she cooked just seemed to taste better than anything else in the world. I know some of you know exactly what I’m talking about. Many days I chose to just sit up under her instead of going out to play. It’s funny how your mind will recall some things you only heard as a child but can recite and know exactly what it means as an adult.

My Nana would say things like: “chile any dog that will drag a bone will bring a bone too…” I’d be like huh?

What can that possibly mean Nana? Life taught me that if someone comes to you talking about someone else, they will likely leave talking about you to the next person. She said no matter how thin you slice the ham it still has two sides to it and then there’s the truth. She said you can kick somebody when they’re down but remember the world has many more feet than them two you have.

And she lived for the unilateral affirmation of “Lawd hamercy”. It mattered not whether it was something good or not so good, her exclamation was nearly always “Lawdhamercy” It taught me to praise Him through the good and the bad. He’ll lift you up when needed and bring you down to earth when needed as well. I still love my Nana dearly and I talk to her often.

The things that lady taught me I have no qualms over passing on to my children and grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. I find the words just falling out of my mouth most of the time. I was about 26 when she passed away, and my daughter and my oldest niece were about five and six. They knew her well. Their Great Great Grandmother made long-lasting impressions on both of them. So much so that when they hear me say certain things they will reply: “ok, that had to come from my Nana…” I just laugh whenever I hear that. It just warms my heart all over. Man I love that lil’ old lady. I was so blessed.

Statistically speaking, the age of the average grandmother is 47 today. At this age most women are still in the prime of their beauty and living a vibrant and fruitful lifestyle. They rarely look even 40. It’s a different world today and we must admit that. However, if that is you, you are just as vital of a figure as you ever were in the moral fiber of our youth today. You represent generations gone by and by.

Grandmothers seem to hang around anywhere from 7 to 15 years longer than grandfathers on average.

This too I believe is purposeful. You are needed longer, on average I’m speaking. I recently read where the youngest grandmother today is 23 years old. Imagine that. And one third of the people in the world today are grandparents. That’s a pretty big club.

Through faith you can always have your faithful loved ones that have already transitioned over, with you.

It’s through faith and remembrance. Listen to the words of the Apostle Paul in(2Timothy 1:5) “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.” We need add nothing to or take nothing away from that. Faith will be the connector throughout time.

Nana, Madea, DearDear, Big Mamma, MawMaw, Grams, Granny, whatever term of endearment you use or go by, be the best one ever for you will never be forgotten. Your Beauty will live on for always.

Gerald Dwayne Harris

THE TIME I ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY ENDED UP IN CHINA

By Steffanie Rivers, THEE Travel Diva

Eighteen months before the coronavirus became international news and caused most U.S. airlines to cancel flights in and out east Asia I flew into Hong Kong on my way to Bali, Indonesia for vacation.

It started as a girls’ trip for myself and a few co-workers. According to the internet, Bali has the most beautiful beaches in the world. Still, for me it’s not all about the beach! And since allinclusive drinking and eating isn’t my idea of a good time, I decided to serve as the official coordinator of the trip. As the departure day drew closer it ended up as a trip with just me, myself and I. I spent a blissful six days in Bali. I scuba dived; took a cooking class and went bike riding around the countryside. It was my own ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ experience. I rented a bungalow with a private balcony and courtyard overlooking the ocean, ideal for a couple on their honeymoon. Yet there me, myself and I was. I used the solitude to read and watch Youtube on my laptop when I wasn’t touring the city.

I could have stayed another day, but decided to end my vacation early for a practical reason.

Airline passengers have a habit of scheduling flights the same day as their events, which leaves them no room for error. If a delayed flight has ever caused you to miss a wedding, funeral or graduation there’s no amount of apologizing an airline can do that will create a do-over for that missed event. I didn’t want anything to keep me from being there for my flight home. Bali had been amazing, but when it’s time to go home, it’s time to go home!

I wanted to be a local transportation ride away from the Hong Kong airport for my flight home.

So I pre-paid for a Hong Kong hotel on-line. My first choice was an $85 a night hotel in a cheaper part of Hong Kong, or so I thought.

On-line the hotel said it provided shuttle service to and from the airport, which is one of the criteria required when I book online in a strange city. It keeps me from having to worry about getting to and from the airport. I arrived at the Hong Kong airport ready to go to my pre-paid $85 a night hotel and I still had not been able to make contact with the hotel to secure my shuttle ride. The hotel hadn’t responded to emails. So I decided to take an Uber. But Uber doesn’t operate in Hong Kong! So I did a money exchange and got about $100 in Hong Kong money, thinking that would be plenty of cash for me to get to the hotel. I also had plenty of U.S. dollars and a credit card.

Geographically Hong Kong is set up much like New York City with its different boroughs connected by bridges and tunnels. When I left the airport in a taxi – with a driver who spoke no English and I, no Chinese – all I had to help translate was a message on my cell phone that said “Please drive me to Grand Skylight International Hotel,” written in Chinese.

What I didn’t know, and I assume the drivers couldn’t convey since we didn’t speak the same language, was taxis are not allowed to cross the bridge into other boroughs. Passengers have to be dropped off at the end of a taxi’s territory where they are passed off to another taxi that takes you to the end of that territory and so on. It turns out I had to cross through two territories, over one bridge and through two tunnels at a cost of $500 Hong Kong dollars. I only had $100 Hong Kong dollars on me. My credit card was not accepted by the driver. Luckily he accepted U.S. dollars so I could pay my cab fare.

I followed the crowd of people up the escalator to where I thought I was going to take another taxi to get to my hotel. A security guard (who spoke little English) told me I needed a travel visa to get to my hotel. I had been dropped off at customs and immigration at the border between Hong Kong and China trying to get to my $85 a night hotel. When I didn’t have the correct paperwork and couldn’t explain myself, because I speak no Chinese, customs agents denied me entry and walked me back to the Hong Kong side of the customs facility. International incidents occur because of misunderstandings such as this!

With no Hong Kong dollars left in my pocket and a credit card deemed unacceptable for payment I got back into a taxi, confirmed that he would accept my U.S. dollars and headed back towards the Hong Kong airport. Two territories, two tunnels and one bridge later I arrived at the airport.

I used the wi-fi to find a hotel close to the airport, which apparently is on the expensive side of town. That’s how I ended up at the Auberg Discovery Bay Hotel for $250 a night.

I also used the wi-fi to file a complaint against the hotel in China for not providing the transportation they claimed in their advertisement, and to request a refund of my $85. I never got that refund.

As an optimist I realize things could have gone real wrong that day. And I’m thankful for the lesson learned. I hope my experience helps you should you ever find yourself in Hong Kong looking for a hotel. Make sure you don’t have to cross the Chinese border to get there.

Steffanie is a freelance journalist living in the Dallas-Ft. Worth metroplex. Email her at Info@AirlineTravelSecrets.com for comments, questions and speaking inquiries. Follow her on Twitter @tcbstef and on Facebook at Steffanie Rivers.

Chef Kymmy’s Million Dollar Pasta Ingredients: 1 lb. penne pasta (seasoned) 6 Roma tomatoes (diced) 1 red onion (diced) 2 tbs. minced garlic 2 tbs. fresh basil (chiffonade) 1 bag fresh spinach 4 cups mozzarella (reserve one cup for topping) Generous amount of grated parmesan cheese Parsley finely chopped Salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, paprika, garlic and onion powder to taste.

Procedure: 1. Boil penne ‘til al dente 2. Sautee diced Roma tomatoes, red onion, garlic, basil until liquid forms, then add spinach until lightly wilted 3. Season penne with parmesan cheese, salt, pepper Italian seasoning, garlic, onion powder and paprika to taste.

4. Mix mozzarella and veggie mixture into penne, then top with mozzarella reserve and parmesan 5. Bake at 375 uncovered for 20 minutes.

6. Garnish with parsley and serve.

To contact Chef Kymmy: Kymberly Monique Bereal FB: chefkymmyb IG: @berealcateringbychefkymmy

Nobody’s April Fool: Know the Facts About COVID-19

By Lanette White Wow! 2020 has started with a bang! We started this year with great expectations and in just the first quarter has ended and we have lost Kobe Bryant, his daughter, the other occupants of Kobe’s helicopter, and almost 20,000 people to the coronavirus also known as COVID-19.

COVID-19 is a pandemic of epic proportions. According to merriamwebster.com, “A disease can be declared an epidemic when it spreads over a wide area and many individuals are taken ill at the same time. If the spread escalates further, an epidemic can become a pandemic, which affects an even wider geographical area and a significant portion of the population becomes affected.” As I am writing this article there have been over 434,000 people diagnosed with this virus world-wide and almost 200 countries and territories affected.

To say the least, I am devastated. However, you nor I can stay in that mindset, because we will be caught slipping, unprepared and possibly fall victim to this deadly disease. We have to acquire as much knowledge as we can about what it is exactly, how it is contracted, and we what steps can we take in order to prevent it.

What is it?

According to medicinenet.com, Coronavirus is a type of common virus that infects humans, typically leading to an upper respiratory infection (URI.) Several different types of human coronavirus have been identified.

How is it contracted?

The viruses are spread through the air by coughing and sneezing, close personal contact, touching an object or surface contaminated with the virus and rarely, by fecal contamination. The illness caused by most coronaviruses usually lasts a short time and is characterized by runny nose, sore throat, feeling unwell, cough, and fever. In other words, it looks like a cold or the flu; however don’t go into a panic.

Medicenet.com expounds on this concept by saying that “examples of human coronaviruses that have been reported to cause severe symptoms include the MERS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, or MERS), SARS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, and the new 2019 Novel Coronavirus (2019-nCoV) outbreak that began in Wuhan, China.”

So see, it’s novel. Not everyone is getting it. It is not the common cold or flu. Yes, the numbers seem staggering to us, but in comparison to the world’s population of 7.8 billion people, it is only about

0.00005576923 which is in the billionths. This number is soooo small in comparison. Remember it’s billionths and not billions! Breathe…And yet we still must be knowledgeable.

How can we prevent it from spreading?

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Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing; going to the bathroom; and before eating or preparing food.

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Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands.

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Stay home when you are sick.

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Practice social distancing when you have to go out. This is about six feet between an unknown individual. It’s not being rude. It’s being safe.

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Cover your cough or sneeze with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash. Or cough into your inner elbow.

Also, you must be aware of the signs of the coronavirus. If you or someone around you has a fever, cough or shortness of breath you should first either self-isolate or put some distance between you and the other individual. Then you immediately consult a physician. This is not something to play with. It may turn out to be nothing, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!

So should we be worried? I wouldn’t recommend it because that puts you in a very poor headspace and then you become careless. Anxiety is never good for you or others around you. However, we should be cautious and take the necessary precautions that prevent further spreading of this virus. In other words, we don’t panic, we prepare!

Lanette White

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