PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Carla Rieger
3 Surefire Ways to Boost Your Confidence (without Being Arrogant)
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onfidence often leads to success in life.
A lack of confidence often leads to missing out on a good job, a sale, or a relationship. But what if you lack confidence and don’t even know it? People often procrastinate and think they are just being lazy. But really, they lack confidence. And that lack of confidence often masks a fear of failure. When successful people are asked their secret of success, they often say, “I chose to believe in myself even when no one else did.” How did they accomplish that mindset? They chose it. They actually manufactured it and probably didn’t even realize it. The good news is you can “manufacture” true confidence (without arrogance), even if you don’t have it now. Arrogance usually is an overcompensation for low self-confidence. People with true self-confidence do not come across as arrogant. They just seem certain, grounded, and capable. Here’s a common scenario. You are feeling a lack of confidence about an upcoming highstakes situation. Maybe it’s public Volume 28 Number 2 Summer 2019
speaking, an interview, or a sales pitch. A well-meaning friend says, “Just believe in yourself!” Does that really help? Not usually. It’s not something you can just switch on at will. Confidence is the result of many stories you tell about yourself and to yourself. They are stored in your subconscious mind. Some people have stories that help them feel confident. Most people have a list of bad stories that make them have low self-confidence. The good news is you can change the balance of bad to good.
When successful people are asked their secret of success, they often say, “I chose to believe in myself even when no one else did.” Here are three easy steps to manufacture true confidence.
1. List Your Stories of Success Choose an area of life where you want more self-confidence, for example, during interviews. Make a list of times you had an interview and it went well, even just okay. Now write out the details of what went right. Keep a list of positive short stories about your successes and The Scrivener | www.notaries.bc.ca/scrivener
re-read them, especially just before another interview. That will ensure good memories are in your short term memory bank, not bad memories.
2. Start an “Esteem Bank” Anytime someone genuinely compliments you about anything, write it down in a journal called your “Esteem Bank” and re-read it often. Again, that stacks the good stories in favour of the bad.
3. Compliment Others Genuine compliments are hard to come by these days. They can boost the receiver’s energy and improve your own energy, as well. Something as simple as people’s choice of clothes or the fact that he arrived on time for a meeting can make a difference. In turn, that person may return kindness with kindness, to you and/or others. Most people judge others. Even if you don’t express it out loud, the energy signature of judgment gets picked up by others. Gratitude for others changes the way your brain works and the way others receive you. Gratitude fills your system with stress-reduction hormones. What do you do to build your confidence? s
Carla Rieger is CEO of The Artistry of Change Inc. and Co-Founder of MindStory Academy. TABLE OF CONTENTS
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