INTERIM CEO, BC NOTARIES ASSOCIATION

Wayne Braid

We Might be Related . . .

Igrew up not knowing who my birth father was.

When my mother was a high school student, she had an encounter with an older man visiting her small town and, 9 months later, I entered the world!

My mother passed away in 2001 and never shared details about my birth father. I was born in a small town in Saskatchewan in July 1948; I can imagine how difficult that was for my mother and her parents and family members. There was discrimination against out-of-wedlock children and mothers in those years!

My mother met and married my stepdad John Braid 2 years following my birth and John took me on as his own. They would have a daughter together, my sister Elaine.

I didn’t know John wasn’t my birth father until I was well into my 20s. When I discovered the family secret, I asked a few questions but my mother was never going to discuss the subject with me. John shared the little bit he knew . . . the man was a salesman from Ontario, training his bird dogs in the wheat fields that surrounded our Saskatchewan town.

In the last 15 years, I have started to wonder more and more about my genes and family medical history. Had I inherited a certain cancer gene or early onset dementia or cardiovascular issues?

In January of this year, I purchased the DNA kit and the services of 23andMe, sending it off with my expectations of what I would discover. A couple of months later, I received my report that indicated my DNA matched another person in their data base. I was notified that other person had also signed the privacy/ authorization agreements; we would be able to connect and view each other’s family backgrounds.

The process revealed I had a half-sister through DNA from the father and she lived in Vancouver! We quickly met up and compared stories. My sister Sue was born in Toronto in 1950 and raised without knowing who her birth father was; her mother had never shared any information with her. Before Sue’s mother passed away, she told Sue the man’s name and that he had said he could not marry her or provide for the child, so she moved to British Columbia.

The process revealed I had a half-sister…

It is quite interesting and exciting to discover a sister at age 70!

I understand that Ancestry.ca, 23andMe, and others like My Heritage have over 10 million records in their data bases. You can now have your DNA analyzed for reasonable cost (I paid $129 for the 23andMe DNA test). The test provides a breakdown of your global ancestry, compares your DNA with others in their database, and alerts you to relatives who are also subscribers.

Today, many individuals are conducting those tests and looking for family information. What might happen in the future as our connections come together with unknown brothers and sisters and parents and other relatives?

My sister Susan and I would be considered illegitimate children and our birth father’s estate could be available to us as well. In many situations like ours, the illegitimate child or children are not known to the rest of family but when the father dies, his Will simply may state that everything is left to his children—and that means the “secret” offspring may have a claim.

Nicola Marchant, a Wills dispute expert in the UK, says the law is simple. If a Will says, “I want to leave it to my children,” anyone who can prove he or she is a child of that parent will have a claim on the estate.

I have recently read of a case in England where a wealthy businessman passed away and a man claiming to be his illegitimate son was able to get a Court order to obtain DNA from the body. Sure enough, a comparison of his DNA proved the deceased was indeed his birth father and the man inherited the very large estate.

While that story has an interesting and profitable ending, particularly for the newly rich child, for BC Notaries preparing Wills for their clients it opens up an entirely new twist to human relationships and how as a community we deal with past relationships and either unknown or forgotten intimate connections.

When discussing estate planning with our clients, we Notaries may be well advised to ask the “uncomfortable” question or to make sure we ask our clients to name the specific children who are to inherit.

The companies that offer DNA services are expanding and growing every day as society scrambles to know where we came from, to prove where we came from, and to know our global human heritage and history.

If you try It and find we are related, let me know! s