What it Means to be an Ally

Barnes & Thornburg LGBT Employee Resource Group WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AN ALLY What it means to be an Ally: Being an Ally means working to help members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in both passive and active ways. Support from straight friends and co-workers in the workplace can make a major impact on the quality of an individual’s work experience.

A FEW THINGS YOU CAN DO: Explore your personal beliefs: There’s nothing wrong with having questions – or boundaries – when identifying yourself as an Ally, but it is important that you are aware of them. Take some time to figure out what conversations you are not comfortable having and what topics may be more sensitive for you.

Use inclusive language: You can help create an environment for open and honest dialogue. Using terms like “partner,” instead of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” and “spouse,” instead of “husband” or “wife,” offers up the opportunity for more inclusive conversations.

Avoid making assumptions by asking conscientious questions: A common concern for people who are homosexual or transgender is being labeled by others or having them assume things about their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Familiarize yourself with issues and vocabulary, but don’t forget to talk to friends and co-workers about their experiences.

Every person has had a different experience and by asking considerate and caring questions, you can honor that individuality.

Increase your awareness about issues impacting the LGBT community: Take some time to listen to music, see movies or read books and magazines by and about LGBT people. Learn more about current political and social matters affecting the LGBT community. After all, there’s no substitute for knowledge.

Include LGBT issues in your everyday life: Once you know the issues, try to include them in your life and conversations, just as you would other topics. By recognizing that LGBT issues are a part of our society, you can help others to understand as well.

Attend events that celebrate diversity and inclusion: Attend programs sponsored by the firm and other organizations that promote or celebrate diversity and inclusion. And don’t be afraid to put your money where your mouth is! If you know of stores or companies that practice discrimination, don’t buy their products or patronize their locations. When we work together, we can help send a message about the importance of acceptance and inclusion.

Speak out against hurtful comments: Standing up to opponents of LGBT rights can be difficult, but it can also make a big difference. When you hear anti-gay jokes, offensive slang or stereotypical remarks, firmly but kindly let that person know that you will not tolerate that type of speech.

WHAT TO DO IF (AND WHEN) SOMEONE COMES OUT TO YOU: Thank them for sharing this part of themselves with you. If this person is willing to talk to you about their identity, it probably means that they trust you and value your relationship with them.

Maintain confidentiality! Talk with your friend about who they have shared this information with and in what settings it is okay for you to talk about it with them.

Ask questions and offer support, just as you would for a friend in any situation: Sincere support is one of the most valuable things you can offer.

Be patient. A person who is coming out may not be ready to share all of their thoughts or feelings.

Remember that they are not a different person after coming out to you. They are the same friend, family or coworker that they were before; the only thing that has changed is what you know about them.

Barnes & Thornburg LGBT Employee Resource Group DEFINITION OF TERMS Ally – A heterosexual man or woman whose views are supportive of LGBT people, who works to combat homophobia and does not view homosexuality as “wrong.”

Bisexual – A man or woman who forms primary loving and sexual relationships with members of both sexes; someone who has continuing affectional, emotional and/or romantic attractions for people of both sexes.

Cisgender – A person whose gender identity corresponds to their birth sex.

Gay – Used as a general term to refer to homosexual people; sometimes used to refer to a man who forms his primary loving and sexual relationship with another man; a person who has continuing affectional, emotional and/or romantic attractions for someone of the same sex.

Gender identity – A person’s internal sense of being male, female or otherwise; the gender an individual identifies as, regardless of what sex they were born.

Heterosexual – A man or woman who forms a primary loving and sexual relationships with a member of the opposite sex; someone who has continuing affectional, emotional and/or romantic attractions for people of the opposite sex.

Homophobia – The irrational fear and intolerance of homosexuals and homosexuality.

Homosexual – A man or woman who forms a primary loving and sexual relationships with a member of the same sex.

Intersex – A general term used to describe someone who is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the “typical” definitions of female or male.

LGBT – An acronym used to encompass lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

Lesbian – A woman who forms her primary loving and sexual relationships with another woman; a woman who has continuing affectional, emotional and/or romantic attractions for someone of the same sex.

Out or Out of the Closet – A term which means being open and public about being lesbian, gay or bisexual; some people are “out” in certain settings (with friends) and not “out” in others (at work or with family).

Queer – An umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or cisgender.

Sexual Orientation – The structure of our romantic, sexual and/or emotional attractions. Some better-known categories include heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual.

Transgender – A broad term that applies to people who live all or substantial portions of their lives expressing an innate sense of gender other than their birth sex. Some, but not all, transgender people undergo medical treatments, such as hormone therapy or surgeries, to change their physical sex, so that it is in harmony with their gender identity.