Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the chance to spend real, meaningful time with someone extraordinary. Many in our community already know Mendel Mintz as the husband of Miriam (Fink) a”h and from seeing him around Baltimore, but hearing his story in full and then watching him work up close has been something altogether different. Working with him through AMF Creative on the theme and design for his $2.5 million Miriam’s Library campaign, and then helping launch the advertising strategy behind it, I found myself genuinely taken by his spirit. His drive is relentless, his energy sincere, his clarity of purpose almost startling. You meet a lot of capable people in this line of work, but every once in a while you meet someone who is simply operating on a different frequency. That is Mendel.
His story, when you hear it in full, is both inspiring and humbling. Mendel grew up in Crown Heights in a family steeped in learning, leadership, and community impact. As the son of the founders of JLI, he watched from up close what it means to build something that touches people across the world. As a bochur he helped produce massive Chabad events, managed logistics that would intimidate seasoned professionals, and learned how to turn vision into reality. He never shies away from responsibility. If a project requires fundraising, he fundraises. If it requires navigating city agencies, he navigates. If it requires creativity, he steps into that space too. His mindset is simple. Problems exist to be solved, opportunities exist to be seized, and nothing in this world is impossible when you decide it matters enough.
But Mendel’s life took a turn none of us could imagine. His marriage to Miriam a”h was short in years but immeasurable in depth. They shared a worldview built around courage, purpose, and an unwavering
refusal to be defined by challenges. Miriam, beloved by her students and respected by all who knew her, lived with extraordinary obstacles but never let them dictate her identity. She saw children not as cases but as souls, each deserving care and individualized attention. And then, in a moment that remains painful to even write, she was taken from this world during what should have been a routine procedure. Yet Mendel’s response to that tragedy has been to build, not break. To lift, not withdraw. To honor her not with memory alone but with movement.
Which is how Miriam’s Library came to life. It is not a memorial. It is a living continuation of who she was and what she devoted her life to. The building will house tutoring, after-school programs, special education services, a resource hub for teachers, and a warm, accessible space for families. It will change how students learn and how parents feel supported. It will be a place where Miriam’s belief in every child becomes something tangible. Watching Mendel lead this effort, negotiate a 14,000-square-foot building, rally support, and articulate a vision that is both ambitious and grounded, has been one of the most moving experiences of my professional life.
So this week, I want to simply wish Mendel continued strength, clarity, and hatzlacha. May he see this project through with the same fire that has carried him until now. And may Miriam’s light continue to shine through every book opened, every child helped, and every future shaped inside those walls. Some people talk about making a difference. Some people actually do it. Mendel is firmly in the second category, and Baltimore is lucky to have him.
Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos
Aaron M. Friedman
An investment for generations to come bez”H
Around the Community
From Wiggly To Wonderful: A Community Of Educators Growing Together
Jewish Educational Services hosted a professional development day that brought together close to 100 early childhood educators from Bais Yaakov, Mosdos Kehal Chassidim, Ateres, Cheder Chabad, Darchei Noam Montessori, Yeshivas Toras Simcha, Torah Institute and Talmudical Academy. The energy in the room was unmistakable. Teachers arrived ready to learn, ready to participate, and ready to bring new ideas back to their students.
The session was led by pediatric Occupational Therapist Ricki Dembitzer, who offered exactly the kind of learning JES strives to provide: grounded in expertise, deeply relevant to classroom realities, and instantly usable. Ricki’s workshop, From Wiggly to Wonderful, introduced educators to a fresh way of understanding focus, attention, and self-regulation in young children through the lens of the sensory system. She unpacked complex concepts with clarity and warmth, weaving in real-life examples and
inviting everyone to get up, move, and experience the strategies firsthand.
What made the day truly special was what happened afterward. By the next morning, teachers were already trying out new techniques such as simple movements, sensory accommodations, and regulation tools, and they were seeing immediate effects in their classrooms. That kind of instant transfer from workshop to practice is rare and highlights both Ricki’s talent as an educator and our teachers’ eagerness to grow and innovate, demonstrating the powerful impact of this workshop.
The feedback we received reflects that excitement. One participant shared, “This was one of the best workshops I’ve been to on a professional day. I really appreciated that it was preschool specific, plus there were practical and usable takeaways.” Another noted, “She was top notch and taught so much. She stayed focused on the topic and most of all was practi-
cal, which I appreciated!” A program director expressed, “The teachers all really enjoyed it, found it useful, easy to implement, and truly beneficial.”
At JES, we believe that when educators feel supported, inspired, and
equipped, the ripple effect on children is immeasurable. This training day was a powerful reminder of what happens when professional development honors teachers’ time, respects their expertise, and provides tools they can bring back to the classroom right away.
The Associated Introduces Young Leadership Council Class Of 2027
By: BJLife Newsroom
Mazel Tov to The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore’s newest Young Leadership Council (YLC), class of 2027. This two-year program empowers emerging Jewish leaders, ages 29-39, to strengthen their leadership skills, expand their networks and make a difference by giving back to the Baltimore Jewish community.
Running through May 2027, these young adults will participate in monthly seminars designed to foster
personal and community leadership growth. They gain in-depth understanding of The Associated and its network of nonprofit organizations, learn from and connect with leaders across the Jewish community and build lasting relationships with a cohort of emerging young leaders.
Past graduates of YLC have gone on to serve on boards and committees, launch meaningful community initiatives and hold key positions throughout the Baltimore Jewish community.
Here are three community members who are part of the Young Leadership Council. We hope you congratulate them if you see them
Menachem Mendel Davis
Menachem grew up in Baltimore, with two formative years studying in Israel that helped shape his outlook on life and community. Today, he serves as CEO of Nova Insurance Company, based in the Grand Cayman Islands, building a background in financial services and alternative risk management.
Berel Galkin
Berel works as a Project Director for MOI, a full-service office furniture
company that helps people design offices and create intelligent spaces where people want to work, live and stay. He is passionate about bringing teams together to create environments that not only look great but also support productivity and well-being.
Lindsey Jeanniton
Lindsey is a director of operations for Ob/Gyn at Johns Hopkins Community Physicians. Originally from New York and now having been in Baltimore close to 10 years, Lindsey brings strong leadership skills and a deep commitment to Jewish values. Lindsey is passionate about fostering connections and creating opportunities that strengthen the Jewish community.
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Camp Shpitz Reunion Ignites The Winter With Summer Spirit!
By: BJLife Newsroom
Camp Shpitz brought the summer warmth and ruach back to life this past Motzei Shabbos with the annual Camp Shpitz Reunion! The boys enjoyed looking back to the amazing summer they had, participating in camp activities, enjoying delicious pizza and soda, and walked away with their very own CAMP SHPITZ custom merch!
Some lucky raffle winners walked away with more custom merch such as umbrellas, mugs, and more!
Annual Krystalnacht Event At TI
Torah Institute held its annual Kristallnacht commemoration last week, generously sponsored by Mrs. Marlene Resnick. Grades 6-8 and staff gathered in the Beis Hamidrash to hear from 5th-grade Rebbi, Rabbi Gavriel Berman, whose own family was directly impacted by Kristallnacht.
Rabbi Berman delivered a moving and personal reflection on the tragic events of November 1938 and other events in Klal Yisrael’s history, emphasizing the responsibility we have to remember the past and draw Chizzuk from the resilience of previous generations.
The program offered students a powerful reminder of the importance of historical memory and the ongoing commitment to honor those who endured and persevered.
Charm City Ballers Sponsored By Advanced Security Week 2 Recap
Charm City Ballers sponsored by Advanced Security rolls on with a hard fought week 3 featuring strong individual performances as well as a dramatic game tying 3 pointer leading to an overtime thriller!
Fired Up Promotions 46 Orshan Legal Group 30
Fired Up Promotions held Orshan Legal Group scoreless for the first 10 minutes of the second half, carrying an 18-0 run from the late first half deep into the second and turning what had been a close game into a blowout, winning 46-30.
Chesky Lewin was uncheckable and led a dominating effort in the paint, as Fired Up outrebounded Orshan Legal 47-34. Lewin finished with 17 points and 21 rebounds, both easily game highs. Including Lewin, Fired Up had 4 players grab at least 7 rebounds in the victory as they coasted to a 2-0 start. Avromi Gartenhaus was one of those and also scored 11 points, while Zev Namrow added 12 points.
Orshan Legal was led by Heshey Green and sub Moshe Gerhardt, who each managed 9 points. Yoseph Orshan grabbed 13 rebounds and dished out 5 assists, but was left ruing many missed shots that could have given him double figures in the latter category as well. Orshan Legal shot just 23% from the field for the game, repeatedly failing to capitalize on open looks. Orshan Legal slides to 0-3 with the defeat.
Councilman Schleifer 47 Platinum Insurance Group 39, OT
Yali Rothenberg nailed a game tying 3 in the final 30 seconds of regulation and Eitan Hariri scored the first 6 points of overtime as Councilman Schleifer rallied from a 9 point second half deficit to defeat Platinum Insurance Group, 47-39.
Hariri shook off a slow start to finish with game highs in points (21) and rebounds (17), continuing his strong early season play. Rothenberg’s game saving 3 was one of 4 he made in the game on
Grandparent’s Day At TA
the way to 17 points of his own. The rest of the Schleifer team combined to total only 9 points, sorely missing Avner Shotz. Yeshayahu Schwartz did grab 10 rebounds in the win, as Schleifer moves to 2-0 with the victory.
Outside of a hot stretch from Yoni Gugenheim, who led his squad with 15 points and grabbed 7 rebounds, Platinum Insurance struggled to hit shots and score consistently, wasting multiple chances to extend their lead. Mordi Spero did hit a pair of key free throws in the final minute before the tying 3 that ultimately kept the game
Photos: Josh Finkelstein
from becoming a regulation loss, but he was only 2-15 from the field on the game. Spero did manage a 10 point & 10 rebound double-double in the loss. Noach Schwartz added 8 points and 7 rebounds in the defeat, as Platinum dropped to 0-2.
Yaakov Schmell – Allstate Insurance Claims JCFL - By “King David Nursing And Rehab Center” Championship Title; Back-To-Back Champs For Consecutive Seasons?
Under bright Sunday morning skies at the pristine YL Waitering / New Town High School Turf Field, the JCFL season reached its electrifying climax as Evergreen Benefits Group, captained and quarterbacked by the ever–steady Chaim Finkelstein, squared off once again against Yaakov Schmell–Allstate Insurance, led by field general and QB Avi Yudkowsky. For the second straight year, the matchup delivered everything fans hoped for - and more.
Spectators bundled up against the cold and packed the sidelines, treated not only to top-tier flag football, but also to live announcements booming through the loudspeaker from regular-season referee turned championship commentator, Mr. Solomon Mercer. The stage was perfectly set thanks to equipment sponsor ReMax Elisheva Frenkel and a field manicured to perfection by the Multicom Capital grounds crew. Even the officiating was elite, courtesy of four distinguished representatives of the Stutman Chiropractic Community Office Officiating Team.
And then…the drama began.
Taking It Personally
The buildup to the game began days earlier, when Schmell-Allstate’s defensive coordinator, Dany Donaty, was in his office preparing a game plan. That’s when he overheard some chatter comparing the playoff duel of Yoyo Strauss vs. Chaim Finkelstein to Manning vs. Brady. According to one unnamed source in the Schmell-Allstate war room, this was received with… let’s just say, “enthusiasm.”
“Not sure why anyone thinks a matchup between a QB who was out of the league for 5+ years and a QB we defeated in last year’s championship should be called Brady vs. Manning,” the source shared. “Did everyone forget who won last year’s championship? A chutzpah!”
Whatever was said in that meeting stayed locked behind closed doorsbut we know one thing: Schmell-Allstate took it personally.
A Rocky Start
By the time Sunday rolled around, Schmell-Allstate faced another challenge: emotional sparkplug Avner Shotz was ruled out with a knee injury—an injury he earned by literally running into a wall. On purpose. Because Avner Shotz does not wait for walls to come to him.
Evergreen jumped out quickly, scoring touchdowns on their first two possessions to take a 12–0 lead. But Schmell-Allstate, battle-tested and unshaken, responded like champions. Avi Yudkowsky connected with Aaron Hoffman for two long touchdown strikes, and Allstate’s secondary - Donaty, Daniel Gunzberg, Menachem Khoshkerman, Zacky Lerner, and Chaim Goldman - locked down Evergreen for the remainder of the half, sending Schmell-Allstate into the break, leading 14–12.
Trading Blows
Schmell-Allstate had opportunities to break the game open in the second half but failed to convert twice in the red zone. Evergreen seized the momentum back, regaining the lead at 20–14. But the offensive line, anchored by Ironmen Neil Gerstman and Avi Gunzberg, kept the pocket pristine. Yudkowsky found Zacky Lerner for a smooth 10-yard catchand-run to knot the score at 20–20.
A long touchdown to Yoni Finkelstein gave Evergreen a late lead, but Schmell-Allstate responded with a clock-chewing drive. With just 21 seconds left, Yudkowsky fired a laser into traffic—and Super Bowl MVP Chaim Goldman hauled it in with his fingertips to tie the game at 26.
It was the kind of catch that has already become local legend—Baltimore’s own David Tyree “helmet catch” moment. And when Evergreen’s last drive attempt fell short and the game clock ran out, for the second time in JCFL history, the Championship went into overtime.
Overtime Glory
Evergreen won the overtime coin toss and took the ball first. Allstate’s defense delivered clutch pass break-
• Dany Donaty embraced every cousin on the team.
Then came Schmell-Allstate’s huddle. No one will reveal what was said, but whatever it was, the message was clear: Call game.
On first down, Yudkowsky foundwho else? - Super Bowl MVP Chaim Goldman streaking across the field. A crisp 20-yard strike. A walk-off touchdown. Fans erupting. Schmell-Allstate’s sideline exploding.
History made.
Celebration of Champions
The celebration was as memorable as the win:
• Daniel and Avi Gunzberg became the first father–son duo ever to win a JCFL championship
• Aaron Hoffman and Chaim Goldman celebrated with Allstate’s official “Fans of the Year,” Papa and Mama Hoffman, as well as the extended Goldman family.
• Avner Shotz, on his one good knee, tossed his son into the air.
• Avi Yudkowsky shared a heartfelt moment with his legendary QB coach, Allan Franco.
• David Moinzadeh hugged a large crowd of fellow Persians - presumably his cousins.
The repeat champions - Neil Gerstman, Dany Donaty, Avi Yudkowsky, and Zacky Lerner - basked in the glory of another hard-fought title, surrounded by teammates and family.
The Final Word
With their thrilling 32–26 overtime victory, Yaakov Schmell –Allstate Insurance cemented their dynasty with back-to-back JCFL titles. A storybook ending to a season filled with grit, camaraderie, and unforgettable moments.
Final score: Yaakov Schmell-Allstate Insurance 32 – Evergreen Benefits Group 26.
Back-to-back champs. The Schmell Dynasty rolls on.
ups and stifling coverage, forcing a turnover on downs.
One Israel Fund Hosts Successful “Rise” Gala, Celebrating Israel’s Heartland
One Israel Fund held its annual “Rise” Gala at Chelsea Piers, attracting hundreds of supporters, political leaders, and philanthropic partners dedicated to celebrating and supporting Judea and Samaria, the biblical heart of Israel.
This year’s gala marked a significant moment in the ongoing transformation of American-Israeli relations. It commemorated one year since Speaker of the House Mike Johnson’s historic visit to the region and highlighted the ongoing engagement by Ambassador Mike Huckabee. The State Department’s normalization of visits to Judea and Samaria further legitimizes the region.
Guests heard firsthand from volunteer medics and community responders who rely on One Israel Fund for essential tools and support. One responder poignantly stated, “Without One Israel Fund, we wouldn’t have
radios, we wouldn’t have mobile command centers.” His comments emphasized the critical impact of the equipment and vehicles provided by the organization. Executive Vice President Scott M. Feltman reinforced this message, stating, “These trucks are not symbolic; they are lifesaving.”
Though unable to attend, Congresswoman Elise Stefanik delivered a powerful recorded message, highlighting America’s commitment to Judea and Samaria’s communities. She thanked One Israel Fund for its role as a pillar of security and community, affirming, “You have a partner in me, always.”
Feltman expressed gratitude to supporters, noting, “Tonight’s outpouring of generosity reminds our communities that they are not alone.”
He thanked Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman for an official proclamation recognizing the importance of Israel’s biblical heartland, calling it a powerful affirmation of solidarity.
The evening celebrated committed honorees, to include Baltimore community members, Jerry and Sora Wolasky, known for their generosity and quiet leadership. Their dedication to One Israel Fund comes from a deep sense of gratitude and purpose, rooted in family, community and a shared belief in Israel’s enduring future.
Political commentator Scott Jennings delivered a stirring address, framing One Israel Fund’s mission within the larger context of resilience and human dignity. He emphasized, “What you do for Israel strengthens all of us,” connecting support for Israel to the broader struggle for Western values. His passionate closing remarks underscored the importance of the mission: “We are choosing whether our children grow up in darkness or in liberty.”
The gala celebrated a year of progress for One Israel Fund, including advancements in security technologies,
upgrades to medical response systems, enhanced community infrastructure, and increased global engagement through tours and leadership initiatives. These achievements reflect the ongoing strength of Israel’s heartland, made possible by One Israel Fund and its dedicated supporters.
Rabbi Berel Wolvovsky
613 Seconds with Rabbi Yaakov Wealcatch
WAITT – We Are All In This Together. They gathered together parents of children with special needs and began providing respite services, and support groups. The organization slowly grew to become what it is today – a source of true Menucha for families.
BJH: What does a sample session at a Menucha program look like?
RYW: Menucha programs are distinguished by our amazing dedicated staff members and volunteers who create
pants, we hear how much fun they had and how they look forward to the next session. From the parents, the gratitude is profound. They often express relief that they had a few hours to dedicate to their other children, run an errand, or simply rest.
Menucha seems to be doing amazing work. If resources were limitless, what expansion or initiative
Our most pressing dream is to establish a dedicated, permanent home for Menucha. This facility would allow us to significantly broaden our programming and expand our respite services. Whether they are caring for younger children or adult children, parents truly deserve regular, reliable time to step away and renew their energy, knowing their loved ones are thriving in a safe and enriching environment.
What message would you like to share with the Baltimore
I want people to know that they are part of this story. Menucha exists because families, volunteers, donors, and supporters choose to open hearts. Every time someone volunteers, donates, or simply spreads the word, they become part of a network that brings joy, dignity, and menucha — real rest — to families who need it. My hope is that we continue building a community where every child and every adult not only has a place, but is
BJH: Thank you for letting us know about the great work Menucha has been doing all these years! We wish you much hatzlacha as you continue to service the community with your vital work.
The Week In News
The Week In News
charges.
One of the suspects is the alleged fourth member of the gang that carried out the heist. Three of the suspects detained in October have been charged with organized robbery, with the fourth, a woman, charged with complicity in organized robbery.
More Arrests in Louvre Heist
The October 19 brazen heist in the Louvre, when thieves broke into the Apollo Gallery and stole multiple jewels, shocked the world. This week, French authorities said they detained four more people suspected of involvement in the robbery.
Two men, aged 38 and 39, and two women, aged 31 and 40, all from the Paris region, were detained by police as part of the investigation into the heist, according to a statement from Paris Prosecutor Laure Beccuau.
The new suspects join four other suspects detained in late October who will be questioned by investigators, said the prosecutor who has not yet released further details about possible
In broad daylight, the four thieves raided the Apollo Gallery on the Louvre’s upper floor, which houses the French crown jewels. They used a truck-mounted ladder to gain access to the gallery, one of the most ornate rooms in the museum, through a window. In just seven minutes, they broke into two high-security display cases and made off with nine items, including a diamond and sapphire jewelry set worn by Queen Marie-Amélie and Queen Hortense. The pieces were worth an estimated $102 million.
The thieves dropped a diamondand emerald-studded crown that once belonged to Empress Eugénie, the wife of Napoleon III, as they escaped on scooters. But they made off with eight other items of jewelry. The loot has still not been found.
300 Students Abducted in Nigeria
On Friday, gunmen stormed into a Catholic school in Niger State, Nigeria, and kidnapped more than 300 students and teachers.
The terrorists sprayed bullets into the air before rousting students from their dormitories and forcing them into the forest at gunpoint, police said.
There were 629 primary and secondary students at the school. School officials say that 303 students and 12 teachers were abducted by the men.
Bishop Bulus Dauwa Yohanna, Niger State chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria, said, “Some parents whose children we had thought had escaped came asking for their children. More students were captured after they tried to escape.”
The mass abduction is even larger than the infamous incident a decade ago in which Islamist insurgents belonging to Boko Haram kidnapped 276 girls
from the Chibok Government Secondary School. Many of those students were Christians forced by their captors to convert to Islam.
In a social-media post early this month, Trump accused the Nigerian government of allowing the killing of Christians. He said he had instructed the Defense Department to draw up military plans aimed at destroying Islamist militants in Nigeria.
“All these incidents point to the fact that the [Nigerian] federal government is not doing enough to fight insecurity,” Joseph Hayab, regional chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria, told The Wall Street Journal on Saturday. “So I don’t mind if President Trump can come help us fight the insecurity.”
Last week, gunmen kidnapped 25 students from a school in Kebbi State. The next day, attackers raided the Christ Apostolic Church in central Nigeria, killing two and kidnapping 38, police said. Last Wednesday, gunmen killed two people during a church service in western Nigeria. They kidnapped dozens of other worshipers, according to religious groups.
Greater Washington Weekday Minyanim Guide
6:15 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M-F
6:25 am Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
6:30 am Beth Sholom Congregation M-F
Beit Halevi (Sfardi) M, T
Chabad of Silver Spring M-F
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S YGW M, Th
6:35 am Ohr Hatorah M, Th
6:40 am YGW S, T, W, F
Magen David Sephardic Congregation M-Th
6:45 am Beit Halevi (Sfardi) S, T, W, F
Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th
Ohr Hatorah T, W, F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M, Th
6:50 am Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah M, Th Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County M-F
6:55 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah T, W, F
7:00 am Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S Silver Spring Jewish Center S
BETHESDA
Magen David Sephardic Congregation
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah T, W, F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac T, W, F
7:05 am Kesher Israel M, Th
7:15 am Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th Kesher Israel T, W, F
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue M-F
Ohr Hatorah S
7:30 am Chabad of DC M-F
Chabad of Potomac M-F
JROC M-F
Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) M-F
7:45 am YGW (Yeshiva Session Only) S-F
8:00 am Beth Sholom Congregation S
Kemp Mill Synagogue S Kesher Israel S
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY S
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County S Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah S
8:00 am YGW (High School; School-Contingent) S-F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) S
8:05 am Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville M, Th
8:15 am Ohr Hatorah S Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville S, T, W, F Kehilat Pardes / Berman Hebrew Academy S-F
Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
8:30 am Chabad of DC S Chabad of Potomac S JROC S
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue S
Silver Spring Jewish Center S YGW (Summer Only) S-F
8:45 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S-F
9:00 am Chabad of Silver Spring S Kemp Mill Synagogue S
12:30 pm YGW S
1:00 pm Silver Spring Jewish Center S-F
2:10 pm YGW M, T, W
2:45 pm YGW S-Th
3:00 pm YGW Middle School School Days mincha
mincha/maariv
Before Shkiah (15-18 minutes), S-TH
Beit Halevi (Sfardi)
Beth Sholom Congregation
Chabad of Potomac
Chabad of Silver Spring
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County
Ezras Israel Congregation of Rockville (20 min before, S-F) JROC
Kemp Mill Synagogue
Kesher Israel
Magen David Sephardic Congregation
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue Ohr Hatorah
Silver Spring Jewish Center
Southeast Hebrew Congregation
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Asheknaz)
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sefarhadi) maariv
7:30 pm YISE M-Th
8:15 pm SEHC S-Th
8:45
shacharis
The Week In News
Nigeria is home to more than 240 million people, about half Muslims, concentrated in the north, and half Christians, generally in the south. Extremist groups such as Boko Haram—its name translates as “Western education is forbidden”—are conducting a religiously motivated insurgency that reaches into neighboring Chad, Cameroon and Niger, while bandits are carrying out a parallel kidnap-for-ransom campaign. The result is widespread killings and abductions of both Christian and Muslim civilians.
The International Society for Civil Liberties and Rule of Law, a Nigerian nonprofit, estimated that Boko Haram and other groups were responsible for the deaths of 43,000 Christians between 2009 and 2021, with 17,500 attacks on churches recorded. The society estimated 29,000 Muslims were killed during the same period.
Trump and his conservative allies in politics and the media focus on incidents involving Christians and blame the Nigerian government, led by President Bola Tinubu, for failing to prevent them.
“It would be a gross understatement and a blatant denial to refer to serious
and sustained attacks against religious communities in Nigeria of this magnitude as anything but acts of religious persecution,” U.S. Rep. Chris Smith (R., N.J.), chairman of the House Africa subcommittee, said on Friday, when authorities still believed that fewer than 60 St. Mary’s students had been kidnapped.
A Burqa in Parliament
Senator Pauline Hanson made headlines this week when she wore a burqa to Australian parliament. The 71-year-old conservative lawmaker is pushing to ban face coverings in Australia in public settings.
Hanson is the founder of the farright wing political party One Nation and represents the northeastern state of Queensland. She appeared in Australian Parliament House chambers on Monday wearing a black burqa covering her body and face. She wore the garment after senators refused to pass a law banning the burqa in public places.
“Clearly what is happening today is not a demonstration of faith; in fact, it is the middle finger to people of faith,” Sen. Larissa Waters, who represents the Green party, said during the parliament meeting. “It is extremely racist.”
Mehreen Faruqi, a Muslim senator from the state of New South Wales, said during the session about Hanson, “A racist senator displaying blatant racism and Islamophobia.”
Fatima Payman, who represents Western Australia, called the move disrespectful and “absolutely unconstitutional.”
“This needs to be dealt with immediately,” Payman said.
Australian Foreign Minister Penny Wong also criticized Hanson’s actions. “Whatever our own beliefs may be, the sort of disrespect that you are engaging
in now is not worthy of a member of the Australian senate.”
After Hanson refused to leave the session at the senate’s request, lawmakers suspended the senate, which means no work will be done until the issue is rectified.
This is not the first time that Hanson wore a burqa in Parliament. She wore one in 2017 when she called for a ban of the covering in public spaces.
Hanson said she had “a right” to wear the burqa and called fellow lawmakers “hypocrites.”
“My concern is as a nation for national security terroristic threats and attacks that are happening also for women’s rights that they are not forced to wear the full burqa against their will... I think it goes against their culture and their way of life,” she said.
“I put the burqa on and thought, well, if you won’t ban the burqa then I’m going to wear it,” she said. “They don’t want to ban it, but they don’t want me to wear it in parliament, so what do they want? They’re a bunch of hypocrites.”
In a Facebook post, Hanson wrote
The Week In News
she wore the burqa to protest her bill not being introduced, “so that every Australian knows what’s at stake.”
A Russia-Ukraine Deal?
Ukraine has reportedly agreed to the framework of a peace deal brokered by the U.S., which could be a significant first step toward ending the almost fouryear war. Still, Russia has to agree to the terms, with many people believing that an unlikely conclusion.
Ukraine reportedly agreed to an amended peace agreement during talks that U.S. officials held with a Ukrainian delegation in Abu Dhabi on Tuesday. A Russian delegation was also in the UAE capital, although it’s uncertain whether joint talks were held.
Reports of an agreement emerged when an unnamed U.S. official said that “minor details” still need to be resolved but that “the Ukrainians have agreed to the peace deal.”
“There are some minor details to be sorted out but they have agreed to a peace deal,” the U.S. official explained.
A Ukrainian official said that Ukraine supports the “essence” of a peace deal framework following talks in Geneva last weekend. The official said that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and U.S. President Donald Trump would discuss the “most sensitive issues” of the framework.
Putin’s Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov said, “We understand that negotiations between the Americans and the Ukrainians are ongoing. We understand that some adjustments are being made to the text that was published; we understand that the text that we unofficially received earlier has already undergone changes, but at some point, the time will probably come when we will also establish contacts with the Americans, and we will officially receive some information. For now, we have no new information.”
Ukraine has come under sustained pressure in the last week to agree to a peace plan with Russia after it emerged that the U.S. and Moscow had held secret talks and devised a 28-point peace plan that largely favored Moscow’s demands.
The plan, which Ukraine had not participated in, included controversial terms, such as Ukraine making territorial concessions by handing over the eastern
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Donbas region that is partially occupied by Russian forces. The original deal also demanded that Ukraine reduce its army by 50%, along with other proposals that crossed Ukraine’s “red lines.”
Russian President Vladimir Putin signaled his approval of the original plan, saying it formed the “basis of a final peace settlement.”
Breaking his silence on the proposals last Friday, Zelenskyy said Ukraine was facing one of the most difficult moments in its history and was essentially facing a choice between “losing its dignity or losing a key partner,” referring to the U.S.
U.S. Boycotts G20
The United States was conspicuously absent from the Group of 20 summit, which was hosted in South Africa this year and ended on Sunday. The Trump administration boycotted the gathering, alleging that South Africa is oppressing its Afrikaner white minority.
The U.S. is expected to lead the summit next year. President Donald Trump has announced that the next summit will be held at his golf course in Doral, Florida. It is traditional for the gavel to be handed to the next host country at the end of the summit, but the U.S.’s absence made that impossible, and South African President Cyril Ramaphosa banged the wooden gavel instead.
“This gavel of this G20 summit formally closes this summit and now moves on to the next president of the G20, which is the United States, where we shall see each other again next year,” said Ramaphosa, without mentioning the U.S.’s absence.
The U.S. was going to, at the last second, send an official from its South African embassy to take part in the handover, but South Africa objected, claiming it would be disrespectful for Ramaphosa to have to hand over the gavel to a junior embassy official. The U.S. wound up sending no one, though the handover is supposed to happen later, according to South Africa, potentially at its foreign ministry.
On Saturday, the first day of the talks, a declaration was made. The timing of it, however, was irregular, as most G20 declarations are made as the summit is drawing to a close. The declaration called for an end to global conflicts; it mentioned Ukraine just once. The declaration also called for more financial support for poor countries. The declaration was sup-
ported by China, Russia, France, Germany, the U.K., Japan, Canada, and others.
Argentine President Javier Milei was also absent from the summit. As such, Argentina voted against the measures.
Australia: No Social Media for Kids
Several social media platforms in Australia must ban existing accounts from people under age 16 and prevent the creation of new ones, starting on December 10, when the country’s teenage social media ban comes into effect. The ban is intended to lessen the “pressures and risks” that kids face on social media, which includes “design features that encourage them to spend more time on screens, while also serving up content that can harm their health and wellbeing.”
The ban specifically includes Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Threads, TikTok, X, YouTube, Reddit, and Kick.
According to a study commissioned by the government months ago, 96% of kids between the ages of 10 and 15 use social media, while seven out of 10 have been exposed to harmful content and behavior, whether minor or significant, and one in seven has experienced grooming-type behavior from older users. Over 50% of users ages 10 to 15 have admitted to having been cyberbullied.
Other platforms worry about being hit with the ban next. Roblox and Discord have already implemented age checks to avoid a ban. Meanwhile, YouTube Kids, Google Classroom, and WhatsApp will not be banned as of now.
If the companies fail to adhere to the ban, they may be fined up to AU$49.5 million (US$32million). Children and parents will not be penalized for going against the ban.
Companies will have to verify that users are old enough to use the media using a reliable method, such as requiring a government ID, face or voice identification, or age inference.
Meta, the parent company of Facebook, Instagram, and Threads, said it would shut down teen accounts starting December 4. If an adult is mistakenly kicked off, they can rejoin by providing government ID or a video selfie.
It is unclear what methods the other social media companies will use to ban users younger than 16.
When the ban was announced a
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year ago, social media companies were displeased, arguing that such measures would prove ineffective. Google, YouTube’s parent company, was reportedly thinking about challenging the ban in court.
Milk Shortages in Israel
In an effort to end Israel’s price-controlled milk shortages, Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich has said he would waive Israel’s high milk tariffs in order to foster competition, allow imports in, and lower the cost of milk.
However, some dairy industry experts say Smotrich’s solution could have the opposite effect.
“The Treasury’s plan is a death blow to the Israeli dairy farmers’ industry and the entire dairy sector and will seriously harm food security in Israel,” cautioned Israeli Cattle Breeders’ Association (ICBA) director Dagan Yarel. “Israeli citizens should not have to rely on the import of Polish or Turkish milk. We must keep the Israeli dairy farm and the Israeli dairy industry strong, stable, and safe for the benefit of all citizens of the country.”
“Opening up the market for imports of butter has had the opposite effect and caused a crazy jump in consumer prices. This is not the way to lead to a drop in prices,” Yarel added.
Dairy Council Israel CEO Itzhak Shnaider also criticized the plan and called on the Finance Ministry to adopt the Agriculture Ministry’s proposed food security growth plan.
“Reality has shown that it is impossible to rely on imports from European countries,” Shnaider said. “Importers will bring what is profitable for them, as they are only motivated by profit.”
“The direct result will be harm to national food security and an increase in prices for consumers,” he warned.
In August, Smotrich waived the customs duty for six months during peak consumption and lower production periods, but it did not help to address the milk shortage.
Importing milk to Israel is problematic in many ways. Milk has a short shelf life, the transportation and distribution
costs money, and there are problems with kosher supervision and certification.
Estimates by dairy associations indicate that around 200 smaller dairy farms could close down, unable to compete, if the reform is passed.
The Agriculture Ministry’s NIS 1.4 billion ($428 million) five-year plan involves R&D, capital investments in advanced technologies, and smart management systems of dairy farms, as well as investments in upgraded infrastructure and more, in order to cut costs and increase productivity, while streamlining milk production and ensuring steady allyear-round availability.
Eli Zeira Passes
Maj. Gen. (ret.) Eli Zeira, a man with a complicated legacy, passed away on Friday. He was 97.
As the chief of the Military Intelligence Directorate in 1973, Zeira assessed that, contrary to most Israeli intelligence, Egypt and Syria would not attack. Many have attributed his assessment as the reason Israel was unprepared when Arab countries launched a surprise attack, sparking the Yom Kippur War.
Zeira was born in Haifa on April 4, 1928. At 18, he joined the Palmach, and during the 1948 War of Independence, he was a platoon and company commander in the Yiftah Infantry Brigade’s 1st Battalion. Following the war, he went to the U.S. Army company commanders’ school, becoming the first Israel Defense Forces officer to do so. After coming back to Israel, he graduated from Hebrew University with a bachelor’s degree in economics and statistics.
By 1956, during the Sinai Campaign, Zeira had become a senior operations officer in the Operations Directorate. He was then sent another time to the U.S. for command and staff training at Fort Leavenworth. He became commander of the Paratroopers Brigade in 1960. Two and a half years later, he became the leader of the Operations Department. In 1963, he headed the IDF’s intelligence correction department in the Military Intelligence Directorate. In 1968, he became assis-
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Trump Hosts Hostages
On Thursday, President Donald Trump hosted a delegation at the White House of nearly all the hostages freed through the Gaza ceasefire deal he brokered last month.
“You’re not a hostage anymore,” the president said. “Today, you’re heroes.”
The Israeli delegation was made up of 26 former hostages, including 17 of the 20 living captives who were released in the deal that took force in October.
Among those 17 was Matan Angrest, who Trump singled out for praise.
“Because of his service in the IDF, Matan was subjected to severe beatings, even at times losing consciousness. Alone and under special guard, he went through [gehenom],” Trump
said in another short video posted by the Hostages Families Forum. “Matan never broke, and today he’s a living testimony to the toughness, heart, and faith of the Jewish people. I’m telling you, you’re a great inspiration to everybody.”
Addressing all of the hostages, Trump said, “It’s an honor to get to know all of you. I know some of you already. I know some of the previous hostages that we got out very well. We love you all, and our country loves you all… You’re amazing people.”
Trump also handed each member of the delegation a special presidential coin.
A number of the former hostages brought gifts for the U.S. president to express their gratitude. Twin brothers Gali and Ziv Berman brought a mezuzah that had survived the fire that Hamas-led terrorists had set in their Kfar Aza home during the October 7, 2023, attack that started the Gaza war. The twins recovered the mezuzah last week during their first visit back to Kfar Aza since they were freed on October 13.
Thursday’s reception marked the
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third time that the American president has hosted delegations of hostages whose release he helped secure in two separate deals this year, the first of which was sealed in January when he was president-elect.
Trump campaigned on securing the release of the hostages and ending the war in Gaza. The January 2025 deal fell apart after its six-week first phase, leading to another eight months of war before the October ceasefire.
The group was hosted by a bipartisan group of congressional lawmakers on Capitol Hill on Wednesday.
“To our great hostages who now carry a weight, a story and experience that you never asked for… We will be your friends for life. We will be your advocates for life. We will continue to wear our pins, and we will continue to tell your story,” Democratic Representative Haley Stevens said during the meeting.
“Today we were able to bring both sides of the House, Democrats and Republicans, together into one room,” said Danny Miran, the father of recently released hostage Omri Miran, who was also part of the delegation. “This is an opportunity to thank you, American Jewry, and all those who took the trouble and labored and made efforts to bring these wonderful children home. In less than a month, we will be celebrating Chanukah – the Festival of Lights – thank you very much for all these lights you have lit for us.”
IDF Kills Hezbollah Military Chief
A targeted Israeli airstrike on Sunday hit Beirut, Lebanon, killing Haytham Ali Tabatabai, the military chief of staff and second-in-command of Hezbollah.
The terror group confirmed his death, remembering the terrorist as a “great Jihadi commander” who “dedicated his life to the resistance” and “was among the leaders who laid the foundation” for it. Tabatabai was killed alongside four other terrorists, according to Hezbollah: Ibrahim Ali Hussein, Rifaat Ahmed Hussein, Mustafa Asaad Barrou and Qassem Hussein Barjawi.
According to the IDF, Tabatabai was a “veteran and central operative in the terror organization,” who “ef-
fectively served as the official responsible for managing the fighting against Israel” in late 2024. After Israel and Hezbollah’s fighting ended in November 2024, Tabatabai became the terror group’s military chief of staff, leading Hezbollah’s reconstruction.
The Israeli Foreign Ministry said that the assassination was in response to “Hezbollah’s repeated violations of UN Security Council Resolution 1701 and the 2024 ceasefire understandings, as well as the threat he posed to Israel and to regional stability.”
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ordered the strike, which was recommended by the defense minister and the IDF chief of staff. Netanyahu, in a video statement, called Tabatabai “a mass murderer” who bears responsibility for many Israeli and American deaths.
Lebanese President Joseph Aoun condemned Israel for the strike and urged “the international community to assume its responsibility and intervene firmly and seriously to stop the attacks on Lebanon and its people.”
According to a senior American official, the United States was “pleased with the elimination of the number two in Hezbollah.”
Since 2016, the United States has had a $5 million bounty for information on Tabatabai. He was at one point the commander of his terror group’s Radwan Force, which planned on invading Israel and launching a massacre similar to October 7.
Tornado Hits Houston
On Monday, a tornado slammed through areas north of Houston, Texas, damaging more than 100 homes, tearing off roofs, lifting garages off their foundations, and smashing windows. Thankfully, no injuries were reported.
The storm uprooted trees and downed power lines throughout the neighborhoods. More than 20,000 customers were without power at one point on Monday.
Some people hunkered down in their homes and hid in closets during
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the Texas storm.
“I had the door and I was trying to hold it shut so that nothing would end up in the house,” one resident said. “It was so forceful.” Her house suffered roof and tree damage.
In Klein, about 25 miles (40 kilometers) north of Houston, officials were working to fix multiple reported gas leaks, remove trees that were blocking roads, and clean up debris around homes and businesses, according to Ja’Milla Lomas, a spokesperson for the Klein Fire Department. Damage also was reported in Cypress and Spring.
Trump-Mamdani Meeting
President Donald Trump and NYC Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, who for months before the race condemned each other, had a surprisingly cordial meeting on Friday.
Trump heaped praise on Mamdani, expressing confidence that the next New York City mayor “can do a very good job.” Trump said he hopes Mamdani would be a “really great
mayor.” The president insisted that he would feel safe living in New York during a Mamdani administration.
Trump said that he doesn’t think Mamdani is a “jihadist,” when asked about comments made by Republican Congresswoman Elise Stefanik, who is running for New York governor.
He noted that the two of them have very similar goals, particularly regarding affordability. Trump added that the two of them do not agree on how to solve the issues, but one of them will have to convince the other, or they’ll compromise.
Mamdani has previously branded Trump a despot and fascist and vowed to stand up to him once elected. Yet, the mayor-elect showed no signs of opposition during the press conference after their meeting. When asked about previous comments, Mamdani did not address the questions directly; Trump,
on the other hand, said the meeting changed how he saw Mamdani. The two men acted warmly and smiled frequently.
Mamdani noted their “shared admiration and love” of New York City. Both Trump and Mamdani are from the five boroughs and have lived in Queens.
On Saturday, Mamdani told “Meet the Press” moderator Kristen Welker that he still believes the president is a fascist.
“After President Trump said that, I said, ‘Yes,’” Mamdani said.
He added, “That’s something I’ve said in the past, and I say today. And I think what I appreciated about the conversation that I had with the president was that we were not shy about the places of disagreement, about the politics that has brought us to this moment, and we also wanted to focus on what it could look like to deliver on a shared analysis of an affordability crisis for New Yorkers.”
Mamdani referred to other past negative comments about Trump, telling Welker, “Everything that I’ve said in the past, I continue to believe.”
In his victory speech after the election, Mamdani spoke forcefully
against the Trump administration, promising that “New York will be the light” in political darkness and telling Trump to “turn the volume up.”
Wegovy Not for Alzheimer’s
Some had hoped that semaglutide, the active ingredient for the weight loss jab Wegovy, would work to slow Alzheimer’s. But this week, drug maker Novo Nordisk announced that it wasn’t the case.
Researchers began two large trials involving more than 3,800 people after reports that the medicine was having an impact in the real world. But the studies showed the GLP-1 drug, which is already used to manage type 2 diabetes and obesity, made no difference compared to a placebo.
Martin Holst Lange, chief scientific officer and executive vice president of research and development at Novo Nordisk, said, “Based on the significant unmet need in Alzheimer’s disease as well as a number of indicative data points, we felt we had a responsibility to explore semaglutide’s potential, despite a low
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likelihood of success.
“While semaglutide did not demonstrate efficacy in slowing the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, the extensive body of evidence supporting semaglutide continues to provide benefits for individuals with type 2 diabetes, obesity, and related comorbidities,” he said.
Dr. Susan Kohlhaas from Alzheimer’s Research UK said the results would come as a blow for people affected by Alzheimer’s.
The patients who took part in the Evoke trials were aged between 55 and 85 and had mild cognitive impairment or mild dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease. Dementia progression was monitored and measured through tests and interviews. Treatment with semaglutide resulted in improvement of Alzheimer’s disease-related biomarkers, but this did not translate into delaying progression of the disease.
Dr. Kohlhaas noted, “These trial results are another reminder that Alzheimer’s is driven by several different biological processes. No single approach is likely to be enough. The field now needs to focus on understanding those processes in much greater detail and developing
treatments that can be used together to tackle the disease from multiple angles.”
She added that the growing use of GLP-1 medicines through private prescriptions, largely for weight loss, offers an opportunity to gather better real-world data on their longer-term effects.
There are more than 130 Alzheimer’s drugs in clinical trials of which around 30 are in late-stage trials – the final step before they are considered by regulators.
Saudi Crown
Prince Visits Trump
On Tuesday, President Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman had a warm meeting at the White House.
Trump greeted Prince Mohammad with a handshake at the White House’s South Lawn and put his arm around the Saudi leader. The red carpet was pulled out for the crown prince, and fighter jets flew overhead. On Tuesday night, they enjoyed a dinner with pistachio-crushed rack of lamb and couverture mousse pear for dessert. Many tech CEOs were there for the
dinner, including Tesla CEO Elon Musk, Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang, and Apple CEO Tim Cook. During dinner, Trump declared that he would be designating Saudi Arabia as a major non-NATO ally. While mostly symbolic, that move could give Saudi Arabia more defense, trade, and security cooperation benefits.
On Sunday, Trump said the U.S. would sell F-35s to Saudi Arabia; Israel is currently the only country in the Middle East with the stealth strike fighters. Israel has objected to the U.S. selling F-35s to Saudi Arabia — unless the country joins the Abraham Accords — as have some U.S. officials, who fear Saudi Arabia might share advanced U.S. technology with China, an ally. During his meeting with the prince, Trump formally announced the sale.
“As far as I’m concerned, I think they are both at a level where they should get top of the line,” Trump said of Saudi Arabia and Israel.
During the meeting, Prince Mohammad reiterated that Saudi Arabia would only join the Abraham Accords once there is a clear pathway to a Palestinian state.
“We want to be part of the Abraham Accords, but we want also to be sure that we secure a clear path of twostate solution,” the prince said. “We’re going to work on that to be sure that we come prepared for the situation as soon as possible to have that.”
At one point, a reporter asked Prince Mohammad questions about Jamal Khashoggi, a U.S. resident and journalist who was killed in 2018 in Istanbul at a Saudi consulate, according to U.S. intelligence, likely after Prince Mohammad ordered his killing.
Trump became angry with the journalist and then said that Khashoggi was “extremely controversial” and added that “a lot of people didn’t like that gentleman that you’re talking about. Whether you like him or didn’t like him, things happen, but he (the crown prince) knew nothing about it and we can leave it at that.”
The crown prince said, “It’s been painful for us in Saudi Arabia… We did all the right steps of investigation, etc., in Saudi Arabia, and we’ve improved our system to be sure that nothing happens like that again. And it’s painful, and it was a huge mistake.”
Torah Thought Rock Lifting
By Rabbi Zvi Teichman
As the shepherds gather at the well, waiting for their compatriots to arrive so that they may pool their strength in rolling off the heavy rock that covers the well, Yaakov arrives.
Yaakov inquires whether they are acquainted with Lavan, and they inform him they are, pointing out that his daughter, Rachel, is just arriving with her sheep. He then asks them why they are whiling their time away and not pasturing the sheep, to which they respond by explaining their need for others to come and assist them.
As Rachel nears the well, Yaakov steps chivalrously forward and proceeds to, as the Torah describes, ןבאה לגיו — to single-handedly lift off the rock, uncovering the well. (י"שר)
Rashi quoting the Midrash adds: as one who removes the stopper from a bottle, to let you know that he possessed great strength.
Yaakov possessed extraordinary strength that he employed in helping others achieve their mission. But why is this significant to the story? What is our takeaway from knowing this?
The great Mirrer Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Chaim Shmulevitz famously taught that we learn from this episode that when one dedicates himself fully to a task one can discover strengths one never imagined they possessed. This, he says, explains the allusion to this episode in the Prayer
for Rain we recite on Shemini Atzeres, where it recalls how Yaakov, בל דחַיִ — dedicated his heart and rolled a stone off the mouth of a well of water. It was not about strength per se, as much as it is about putting oneself to the task completely, that brings results.
Wouldn’t that imply though that Yaakov exerted his most, and succeeded where others came up short? So why then does the Midrash report that he did as easily as one ‘popping the cork from a bottle’?
The Baal HaTurim makes a fascinating observation. He points out that this specific word used here to indicate Yaakov’s extraordinary strength, לגיו, is used only in one other place in the entire written Torah. King David in Psalms asserts “I have set G-d before me always; because He is at my right hand I shall not falter. For this reason, יבל חמש — rejoice does my heart, ידובכ לגיו — and elated is my soul...” (זט ט םילהת)
Although these two words possess the same exact letters, nevertheless they are two completely different words. One means to uncover, while the other refers to rejoicing.
The verb utilized in the Prayer of Rain to emphasize the deeper reality underlying this event, בל דחי — to dedicate the heart, appears nowhere else throughout the Torah in this conjugation.
Though we do find the notion of ‘dedication’ implied within the word דחי, when the Torah describes
Yisro undertaking to convert after being inspired after hearing from Moshe about all that has transpired with the Jewish nation, it says
and Yisro dedicated himself to the Jewish people. (םש
,ט חי תומש)
There too, the word is also understood to mean that Yisro rejoiced — similar to the word הודח, one of the many synonyms for joy. (םש סולקנוא
Yaakov flees from the murderous intentions of his brother. He leaves home with money and gifts to shower upon the woman of his dreams only to be ambushed by Elifaz who maneuvers all of Yaakov’s possessions leaving him impoverished, left with only his staff. With all this travail, worry and fear, Yaakov secludes himself happily for fourteen years of focused study in the Academy of Shem and Ever. He finally finds his ‘bashert’ and happily charms his bride with a chivalrous display of devotion to her. (רומה רורצ)
Many of us carry heavy stones of anxiety in our hearts, weighing down our drive and hopes for happiness in life.
Yaakov Avinu forged ahead never permitting himself to get down, and certainly not defeated.
Perhaps, the בל דחי, refers to the joy he sensed in life, dealing with challenges in accepting them with positivity thereby overcoming them as well. He lived without any pretension, presenting himself to any situation equipped and ready to deal head on with those challenges in the
knowledge of his abiding sense of a G-d is always before him
He approached the challenge and successful attempt to uncover the well, no different than he would view popping out a cork from a bottle.
He did not bring his fears to the test, aware that whatever he might face, success or failure, it was G-d Who was always accompanying him.
That is the key to success — a contentedness, which could never be quashed by the travail he might meet on any given journey.
The concluding words of the previously quoted Baal HaTurim encapsulates our mission: ‘When will we fulfill [the expressed desire of King David] ‘and elated is my soul’, when we remove the evil inclination, who is likened to a stone,’ which blocks the well of achievement from giving forth its nourishing ‘waters’ — the Torah and its exciting values.
The secret to finding joy is to realize it is a quality inherent and readily accessible to anyone. All we have to do is remove the heavy stones of anxiety, lack of confidence, and fear to allow the wellspring of joy to flow.
No wonder the word for joy, לגיו, is rooted in this notion of uncovering those artificial barriers to our inherent happiness.
May we uncover a magnificent joy that is waiting for us to discover.
You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com
PARSHA
OVERVIEW
Yaakov leaves Be’er Sheva, and he experiences a vison at Moriah; the ladder dream. Yaakov meets Rachel by the well and removes the heavy rock. Yaakov wants to marry Rachel, and works for seven years for Lavan (her father). Lavan deceives Yaakov, and substitutes Leah for Rachel. Yaakov marries both Rachel and Leah (and Bilha/Zilpah) and the shevatim (tribes) are born. Yaakov builds his family, prospers, and ultimately flees from Lavan.
TSorahparks
Parshas Vayeitzei
“Holiness is the space we make for G-d.”
-Rabbi J. Sacks zt”l
GEMATRIA
There are 148 pesukim in the Parshah. 148 is t he gematria of חמק , which means flour.
O ur Sages teach us that: ןיא חמק
ה
- without flour, there is no Torah. One w ay to understand this is that without “ flour” - i.e., parnassah - someone will not b e able to learn Torah. Another way to u nderstand this, though, is that Torah is our f lour; Torah provides us sustenance.
QUICK VORT
There are three symbols of Avodas Hashem (service of the Divine) that were manifested by the three Avos: Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov.
Avraham connected to Hashem through a רה , a mountain. Yitzchak connected to Hashem through a הדש , a field. And Yaakov connected to Hashem through a תיב , a home.
Our Sages tell us that the preferred method for Avodas Hashem is the תיב , a home.
Rav Moshe Shternbuch shlit”a poin ts out an amazing thing. Whereas a mountain is hard to climb and a field can be tough to cross, a home is relatively simple and easy to open up and go inside.
Pesukim - 148
Words - 2021
Letters - 7512
Mitzvos - 0
ThoughtsChassidus in
Yaakov Avinu is blessed תצרפו, which connotes spreading forth without limits. The Lubavitcher Rebbe says that this ability to break beyond all the physical parameters and constraints is the inheritance of Yaakov Avinu!
Usually, inheritance is limited to whatever physical “items” are being given over. However, imagine being given over a spiritual inheritance that knows no bounds? Yaakov got this type of inheritance.
On some level, each of us - as yidden - also have this spiritual inheritance!
Did You
Know?!
Contained in the words
are
and
, alluding to the 14 years which Yaakov studied in the Yeshiva Shem V’Ever (R’ Moshe Ahron Friedman).
I n our Parshah (see Rashi), we are told that Y aakov studied in the Yeshiva of Shem/Ever f or 14 years. Surely, it was these formative y ears which provided him true sustenance and vitality!
Rabbi Ori Strum is the author of “Ready. Set. Grow.” “Dove Tales,” and “Karpas: The Big Dipper.”
His shiurim and other Jewish content can be found on Torah Anytime and Meaningful Minute. He may be reached at 443-938-0822 or rabbistrumo@gmail.com
If you think about it, a mountain and a field are things that you can walk on. But only a home, תיב , is something that you can walk inside! In Avodas Hashem, we want to be able to “go inside” and experience Hashem directly!
PointsPonder to
Chanukah is coming soon! My book on Chanukah, DOVE TALES, is now available on Amazon. I would honestly be so thrilled, humbled, and honored for you to get a copy. If you wouldn’t mind leaving a review too, that would be so appreciated.
The Parshah mentions “rocks” about half a dozen times or so. There seems to be an obsession between Yaakov Avinu and rocks. What’s going on? Why is there such a focus on rocks?
Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh - 2821 W Strathmore Ave
Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim -
Forty Talmidei Chachomim Available Anytime To Answer Questions On Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Eruvin As Dirshu Embarks On Chelek Daled Of Mishnah Berurah, A Game Changing Hotline Is Going Live
By Chaim Gold
“All of you sitting here have the opportunity to transmit the halachos of eruvin to Klal Yisrael, both the limud, the learning of hilchos eruvin and the practical halachos of eruvin, your zechus is inestimable!”
These enthusiastic words of HaGaon HaRav Yehuda Aryeh Dunner, shlita, a prominent posek living in Bnei Brak and Rav of Beis Medrash Divrei Shir, were addressed to a unique gathering of over forty talmidei chachamim, who are experts in the halachos as well the practical application of the halachos and the construction of eruvin.
First a bit of background. The gathering, held in the moshav of Beis Chilkiyah, was an exciting new development in Dirshu’s desire to spread yedias haTorah among all segments of Klal Yisrael.
With Dirshu’s popular Daf HaYomi B’Halacha program set to embark on Chelek Daled of the Mishnah Berurah devoted to hilchos eruvin, the leadership of the organization has spearheaded an effort to make the learning of these halachos accessible to every person regardless of their level of learning.
There is Nothing to Fear!
Rav Dunner said, “There was a time when Chelek Daled of the Mishnah Berurah was primarily learned by Rabbanim who were involved in constructing Eruvin or answering shailos on Eruvin. Therefore, the average person, even the person with a yeshiva background, was unnecessarily scared away from learning these halachos. In all truth, however, there is nothing to fear!”
Rav Boruch Hirschfeld, shlita, a Daf HaYomi B’Halacha maggid shiur, a prominent posek from Cleveland, and Rav of Congregation Ahavas Yisrael said, “Really, Chelek Daled is not so difficult. Everyone is capable of learning it. Anyone who can learn siman 321 in hilchos Shab-
bos about the laws of losh, kneading, can certainly learn hilchos eruvin There is nothing harder about eruvin than hilchos losh!”
People sometimes get flustered or scared when they see unfamiliar material or concepts. It is for that reason that Dirshu has undertaken a bold initiative. The initiative is to set up a twenty-four-hour hotline manned by a cadre of talmidei chachamim who are bekiim, experts in all areas of hilchos eruvin. The hotline will be open for questions around the clock in different time zones so that anyone can call and get an answer to a question. The questions do not have to be limited to halacha questions, people can even call if they have a difficulty understanding a line in the Mishnah Berurah
One Hotline, Forty Talmidei Chachamim and Countless Answers!
“Let’s say a mesivta bachur has been learning the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha and now he wants to learn hilchos eruvin. He may encounter terms and ideas that he doesn’t understand and now, he will be able to simply pick up the phone, call Dirshu’s hotline, called ‘Kav Hameishivim,’ and the maggid shiur will explain it to him,” said Rabbi Avigdor Bernstein, a senior member of hanhalas Dirshu.
Similarly, if someone has a practical question on how to construct an eruv on his street, in his complex or town, he is empowered to reach one of the forty talmidei chachamim manning those hotlines, waiting to answer any of his questions! Not only that, but these talmidei chachamim are available to answer questions in English, Yiddish or Hebrew. Thus, learners of hilchos eruvin from across the globe will be able to access this treasure trove of knowledge at any time of day or night. The number for the Kav Hameishivim is: 605-313-1737.
On the “Same Page” Throughout the World
Indeed, one of the most exciting developments is the abundance of
worldwide shiurim in Daf HaYomi B’Halacha. There are more than 1,200 shiurim in many varied languages including of course, Yiddish, English, and Hebrew as well as French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, and more.
In advance of Chelek Daled, Dirshu published over 30,000 paperback Chelek Daleds so that learners can easily transport them wherever they go or leave them in shul or the location where the shiur takes place.
When the great gaon and tzaddik, Rav Meir Shapiro proposed the concept of learning a Daf HaYomi of Gemara, he gave a transformative speech that echoes until this very day. In that famed speech, Rav Meir Shapiro explained how Klal Yisrael would benefit from individuals learning the same daf world over each day, “When Yankel the businessman from Warsaw will meet his
friend Moshe from Krakow at the annual yerid, the business show in Leipzig, what will they talk about? They will talk about the same daf of Gemara that they learned that morning. They will be on the ‘same page’.”
As Dirshu is set to embark on Chelek Daled of Mishnah Berurah, Rav Meir Shapiro’s dream lives on. The names of the cities have changed. Instead of Warsaw, Krakow or Leipzig, today’s cities are more likely Lakewood, Yerushalayim, New Square, Antwerp, London or Bnei Brak, but the idea is the same. Wherever a Jew finds himself, he can always discuss the halacha that he learned that day or the day before with his fellow Dirshu Daf HaYomi B’Halacha learners. Even in hilchos eruvin!
To contact Dirshu’s Eruvin hotline please call, 605-313-1737.
Examining the eruv in Beis Chilkiyah
Rav Dovid Hofstedter addressing the Kav Hameishivim Rabbonim
Join Daf HaYomi B’Halacha as it begins Mishnah Berurah Chelek Daled. Hilchos Eiruvin may be complex, but with Dirshu’s proven method of
Yisrael every Shabbos.
A Historic Night in Trenton:
10,000+ Unite to Celebrate Oraysa’s Seder Mo’ed Siyum, the Culmination of Six Years of Retzifus
In a thunderous display of kavod haTorah that lit up New Jersey’s Cure Insurance Arena, Oraysa marked a milestone that few imagined when the program was born just six short years ago. What began as a modest movement to learn and chazer one amud a day has erupted into a global revolution. Tens of thousands of lomdim across continents now pore over each sugya with a fiery hasmadah, and on Sunday night, Klal Yisroel celebrated their monumental Siyum on Seder Mo’ed.
The event opened with the palpable electricity of a genuine simchas haTorah, as some 10,000 men from across the spectrum of Yiddishkeit— Litvish, Chassidish, Sephardic, avreichim, baalei batim, and bnei Torah from every makom Torah—filled the arena shoulder to shoulder, united under one banner: Yisroel v’Oraysa v’Kudsha Brich Hu Chad Hu.
A special pre-siyum shiur by Harav Uren Reich injected the arena with a palpable sense of excitement, preparing the crowd streaming in for a night they would long remember. Once the program commenced, the Nasi of Oraysa, Harav Noach Isaac Oelbaum, delivered a powerful drasha that praised the lomdim while simultaneously pushing them to achieve even greater heights. Harav Dovid Goldberg, Harav Dovid Ozeri, and Harav Yosef Elefant infused the massive crowd with moving divrei chizuk, each representing a different cheilek of the Olam HaTorah yet speaking with one voice: Torah belongs to every Yid.
The climax of the evening—the Siyum itself—was led by Harav Yerucham Olshin, and when the final “Amen!” thundered across the arena, an indescribable energy burst forth as ten thousand rose up and danced as one for more than twenty minutes.
And when Oraysa’s Founding President, R’ Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz, stepped up to speak, the walls of the arena seemed to absorb his message: that the Olam HaTorah has entered a new phase of serious, disciplined limud.
The siyum was not merely a celebration of what has been accom-
plished—it was a declaration of what comes next. Oraysa lomdim are already gearing up for the next mission: the start of Seder Nashim, beginning this Thursday with Maseches Yevamos, one of Shas’s most formidable and complex masechtos.
And for those who have not yet joined Oraysa, the message rang loud and clear: now is the moment to leap into the Yam HaTalmud. The doors are wide open, the derech halimud is proven, and the revolution is well underway.
For anyone thinking of joining and becoming part of this massive Torah movement, the start of Maseches Yevamos is a great time to get on board and to benefit from all Oraysa has to offer to those with a strong desire to learn, retain, and know Shas! Joining now is a great opportunity to chazer the Sedarim of Nashim and Nezikin that one learned in yeshiva. For more information or to set up or join a shiur or chaburah in your neighborhood, please contact Oraysa at 914.8.ORAYSA or email info@oraysa.org.
nspiration Nation
Sapir Cohen Connecting to G-d in Gaza
By Eliyahu RosEnBERg
In Her Words…
Before october 7, i was very shy, and i couldn’t stand in front of an audience. But when i came back, i decided to speak, sometimes, in front of thousands of people. i go to many places; i talk especially to da’atim and charedim because i want them to feel connected to what’s happening in israel. i know many of them don’t watch TV and don’t know everything that’s happened. so, it’s very important for me to connect all the Jewish people.
Every day, i said three things. The first was the perek of Tehillim. The second was, ‘Thank you, g-d, for sending me to this place, because i feel all the power you’ve given me, and i know how to use it to help the other hostages.’ and the last was, ‘Thank you, g-d, for all the angels that you’ve sent to protect me in this [g ehennom]. and when i came back to israel and i saw how many people prayed for me, and how many people decided to become better people because they believed that doing so would bring me back, i understood that all the angels that i felt — they weren’t imaginary.
in gaza, it was hard. i spent one month in a house and one month in the tunnels. But i saw miracles. a nd i think one of the biggest miracles was that i understood that i’m supposed to be in this place. i was with another hostage, a young girl, 16 years old. i met her on the first day. she was terrified, and she was crying. and when i saw her, i just said to myself, ‘i don’t need to see more than this to understand that i need to be in this place.’ and when i decided to accept this responsibility, i felt so powerful.
Six months before October 7, Sapir Cohen was seized by an intense feeling of dread. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt as though something inside her — some voice in her head, perhaps — was constantly screaming on top of its lungs, warning her of her impending doom.
“I felt like something very bad would happen to me. And I didn’t know why I felt that way, because all my life was perfect,” Sapir shares. “During that time, I thought that maybe I had a very bad illness in my body, and I just needed to discover it.”
She visited doctor after doctor, did test after test, but found no way to calm the storm raging within her.
“For the first time in my life, I decided to pray,” Sapir recalls. “I was looking for a prayer for complete recovery. And one day, a prayer appeared in my Instagram feed. It was chapter 27 of Tehillim. And they wrote there that if you read it for 30 days, you will be healthy and miracles will happen to you.”
So, she decided to give it a shot. But after three weeks of reciting the perek every day, Sapir started thinking about the psalm’s meaning and began questioning its relevance to her condition. Chapter 27 (L’Dovid Hashem Ori ) is about war, not illness. In it, Dovid HaMelech implores G-d to save him from his enemies — “Al t’tinayni b’nefesh tzarai ki kamu vi eidei sheker chamas, do not deliver me to the desires of my adversaries, for false witnesses and speakers of evil (Chamas) have ris -
en against me.”
“Why am I saying this?” Sapir wondered. “This isn’t what I want to pray for. What war am I praying to be saved from?”
But despite her apprehensions, Sapir continued reciting the perek every day. And on October 7 — her 30th and final day of reading the chapter — she finally understood what she’d been praying for.
The morning of October 7, Sapir woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the sound of nearby bombs exploding. She and her boyfriend, Sasha, had been staying at Kibbutz Nir Oz to celebrate Simchat Torah with his parents. They didn’t have time to run to the bomb shelter.
An hour later, they found out about the ongoing invasion. With no place else to run, the two hid beneath a bed.
“And then I heard, ‘Allahu Akbar.’ I heard hundreds of terrorists come inside the kibbutz. I heard things explode. I heard the screams of the terrorists and the screams of the people who were killed by those savages,” Sapir recounts. “I heard them go house to house, shooting everywhere, everyone. And we just waited for our turn. And they came closer and closer to us. And I was terrified – I was terrified. My body was like water. I was shaking. And there, I said the prayer again and again and again. And when I said it, deep inside I felt peace.
“And when the terrorists broke down the door, I vowed, ‘G-d, I will keep
Shabbat. I will keep Shabbat. I will keep Shabbat.’ And now, I keep Shabbat.”
She remembers the sounds: the door cracking open; terrorists marching into her room, breaking everything in sight; Sasha’s scream. She remembers being pulled out from her hiding place, seeing Sasha on his knees, blood covering his face, suffering as the terrorists beat him. She remembers being separated from Sasha, thrown onto a bike with two terrorists. And, perhaps most clearly of all, she remembers the moment she entered the Gaza Strip.
“When I entered Gaza, I saw thousands of people. Thousands. All the civilians were outside. The streets were full of civilians; the ‘innocent civilians.’ And they all came to touch me and beat me,” Sapir recounts.
She put her hands over her head in a desperate attempt to shield herself from their attacks. “G-d, please save me. I don’t want to die,” she prayed until her terrorist captors pulled her away from the crowd. From there, they brought her to an apartment, where she met another hostage: a 16-year-old girl.
“In Gaza, it was hard. I spent one month in a house and one month in the tunnels. But I saw miracles. And I think one of the biggest miracles was that I understood that I’m supposed to be in this place,” Sapir shares. “I was with another hostage, a young girl, 16 years old. I met her on the first day. She was terrified, and she was crying. And when I saw her, I just said to myself, ‘I don’t need to see more than this to understand that I need to be in this place.’ And when I decided to take this responsibil-
ity, I felt so powerful.”
For her fellow hostage’s benefit, Sapir decided to spin every bad moment into something fun and lighthearted. When the young girl once spoke of her intense hunger, Sapir knew exactly what to do.
“Sapir, I’m very hungry. And the terrorists — they don’t want to give me food. What can we do?” the girl asked her.
“You know what? It’s not a problem. Now we have a mission,” Sapir explained to the girl. “There’s a room with a lot of bread. You’ll be my guard, I’ll go there, take the pita, hide it, and we’ll eat it quickly. And if the terrorists come, we’ll just hide the food and pretend we weren’t doing anything.”
The girl liked the idea, and they tried it out.
“So, we go. I take all the pita, we run to the room, we eat quickly, and then the terrorists come,” Sapir recounts. “And they say, ‘What are you doing here?’ And we hid all the food. And I pretend to stretch. It was a very bad situation. But every time we did it, she was laughing, and it was good to laugh in this situation.”
A few days later, the terrorists came with some bad news: the time had come for Sapir and the 16-year-old girl to relocate to the tunnels.
“Sapir, I don’t want this,” the girl whimpered, petrified. “I don’t want to go to the tunnels.”
Sapir gave the girl a smile.
“Come on, we’re in Gaza! The tunnels are the number one attraction here. Obviously, we have to see them,” Sapir joked.
“Sapir, you are crazy,” the girl said with a laugh. “But I want to be like you.”
Many traumatic memories from her captivity stick out to Sapir: seeing the terrorists beat an 85-year-old man
— a hostage — so badly that he died a few days later; seeing other hostages starved, badly wounded, and suffering from untreated illnesses; and meeting the now-deceased Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, ym”sh
“As a hostage, you think every day about your family. You don’t know who’s alive and who’s killed,” she shares. She watched her captors have meals, while she had little to eat. And then there was, of course, the psychological torture: the terrorists toyed with her, getting her hopes up by falsely telling her she would be going home shortly. But through her 55 days in Gehennom, Sapir stayed optimistic and kept thanking Hashem.
“Every day, I said three things. The first was the perek of Tehillim. The second was, ‘Thank you, G-d, for sending me to this place, because I feel all the power You’ve given me, and I know how to use it to help the other hostages.’ And the last was, ‘Thank you, G-d, for all the angels that You’ve sent to protect me in this [Gehennom],’” Sapir shares. “And when I came back to Israel and I saw how many people prayed for me, and how many people decided to become better people because they believed that doing so would bring me back, I understood that all the angels that I felt — they weren’t imaginary.”
At the end of 2023, 55 days after the October 7 massacre, Sapir Cohen was released as part of a short-lived ceasefire deal. On her way back to Israel, it was, in her words, “like a dream.”
“All this time since October 7 has been unbelievable. I feel like it’s not reality. And when they brought me back to Israel, I saw many people in the streets. Many people came to our car, hugged our car, and said, ‘We were waiting for you.’ It was amazing,” Sapir recalls.
In February of 2025, after enduring 498 days of torture and starvation in Gaza, Sapir’s boyfriend, Sasha Trufanov, was freed. The two reunited. And last July, Sasha proposed to Sapir. Baruch Hashem, the couple is now engaged. * * *
Since October 7, Sapir has changed in many ways. For one, she’s grown closer to Hashem. Her goals in life have shifted, too. And additionally, her personality has changed in some ways.
“Before October 7, I was very shy, and I couldn’t stand in front of an audience. But when I came back, I decided to speak, sometimes, in front of thousands of people. I go to many places; I talk especially to da’atim and charedim because I want them to feel connected to what’s happening in Israel. I know many of them don’t watch TV and don’t know everything that’s happened. So, it’s very important for me to connect all the Jewish people,” Sapir declares.
“I want to share with you a special moment from my captivity: One day, one of the terrorists called me to watch TV. And when I watched TV, I saw a lot of people in the hostage square. I saw a lot of people with the sign, ‘Bring them home now.’ Da’atim, chilonim , all of them. Thousands of people together,” she recalls. “And I was very excited to see them all together, because before October 7, I remember there was a lot of division in our nation. And what surprised me even more is that one of the terrorists said, ‘When the Jewish people are together like this, they are very strong.’
“And I believe that may have been the war’s real purpose all along: to bring the Jewish people together.”
This article is based on a podcast, “Inspiration For the Nation,” hosted by Yaakov Langer. To catch more of this conversation, you can watch it on LivingLchaim. com or YouTube.com/LivingLchaim or listen wherever you listen to podcasts (just search for “Inspiration For The Nation”) or call our free hotline: 605-477-2100
Quality Time Tech Triumphs
As told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross
As a woman blessed with many greatgrandchildren, grandchildren, and children, I feel lucky to spend personal time with each family. Something that has occurred to me over these past few years is that the families who have less screen time in their homes have more patience to spend time with me. Their children like to sit and read books with me or play games of Rummy Cube or Monopoly with me.
The families who allow their children their own devices have very little patience to spend any quality time with me. I sense a feeling of disinterest and lack of curiosity from those kids. We read about the downsides of screen exposure, but it’s sad to see the
glaring differences in my family. I know I look forward to spending time with the children who want to spend time with me. I hope to have nachas from all of them!
TECH TIPS:
With the surge of AI in the past few years has come a wave of portable AI gadgets— pendants, wristbands you can talk to like an always-on buddy, and now toys: teddy bears and small robots that can hold full conversations with your child.
Recently, though, it’s become clear that these AI toys can veer into completely uncharted and unsafe territory, introducing topics that are wildly inappropriate and potentially harmful for children—
and even for adults. Some models have already been pulled from the market, but others remain, especially imported products that slip through testing, review, and regulation. For now, these toys should be avoided entirely. The risks are severe, unpredictable, and not worth exposing a child to.
Related to this is the recent rise of AI phone numbers that kids can call or text. Most children already know about them, and many are using them regularly—sometimes without their parents’ knowledge. Only a couple of Kosher phones can block these numbers, and even then, the protection isn’t perfect. In most cases, even a TAGcertified Kosher phone cannot stop a child from calling them.
This is a serious issue. Many of these AI numbers are completely free, have no time limits, and are totally uncensored. They’re highly addictive, and many children are struggling with the nonstop access and the content they’re exposed to. While there isn’t much parents can do to fully block these services, they should be aware that their children may be calling or texting them—and consider monitoring phone use and helping their children navigate this new challenge.
To Raise a Laugh
For Adults Only
DISCLAIMER: I know that kids sometimes read my columns, and I love that they do, but this week’s column is for adults only. If you’re a kid, this is not for you.
Ok, this isn’t going to work. The kids are specifically reading it now. But what am I supposed to do?
Let’s try this:
WARNING: You kids out there wouldn’t be interested in this topic. It’s all about mortgages and investments and boring adult things you don’t want to hear about.
Okay, now that the kids are gone, I should tell you that this column isn’t really about mortgages and investments. I don’t know about those things, because I always left the room when my parents discussed them. But what I do know is that’s it’s impossible to have a private conversation with your spouse out of earshot of your kids. These kids are everywhere. Where do they keep coming from? They weren’t here when we got married.
But important things come up, and you don’t necessarily want the kids around for those discussions. For example, you could be talking about possibilities of plans for the future, and you don’t want them to think that every possibility you mention is definitely going to happen.
And it’s increasingly harder to find times of the day you can do this as your kids get older, and neither of you is awake enough to have these discussions at those times, but you’re like, “There are no kids around; let’s do this.” At three in the morning.
“Wake up. We have to talk about Chanukah presents.”
Then you can have a groggy conversation that neither of you will remember. And during which the two of you take turns falling asleep while the other one is talking.
But some conversations can’t wait until the next day. (“Okay, everyone; nap time.”) So a lot of parents have their discussions right in front of the kids, but they do it in Yiddish.
What to the Goyim do? Maybe that’s why they don’t have so many kids.
But my wife and I don’t really have a common language like that. My Yiddish hasn’t progressed beyond second-grade level, and it’s mostly words you would find in a Chumash up to about halfway through Parshas Lech Lecha. And my wife went to school in Massachusetts, so she was taught French. (A lot of schools up north learn French as a second language, in case the Canadians take over.)
So we can’t very well have a conversation where I speak 2nd grade Yiddish at her and she speaks high-school French at me That’s gonna be productive.
Though it’s not like French is useless. She’s a huge help when I’m learning Rashis.
But she never learned Yiddish. In fact, on Simchas Torah, on the way home from shul, my wife asked me what “tzu vemen and tzu vemen” means.
“It’s not in my siddur,” she said.
So I told her that “tzu vemen” is “two women”. Tzu vemen and tzu vemen = four vemen.
Recently, her Yiddish has been improving, though, because she started working for Chassidim. So I bought her a picture book that is designed to teach Yiddish to little kids. My wife pored over the book, and she now knows a bunch of Yiddish words that Chassidim don’t even use, because whenever they get up the crucial part of a sentence, they just stick in English. For example, one day her boss’s husband ordered, quote, “Tzvai box cookies.”
He then turned to my wife: “Do you know what that means?” (He occasionally speaks tzu vemen.)
And she did. So my book was money well spent. Point is, I don’t know that speaking modern Yiddish in front of the kids would be that helpful. (“Zul mir koifen zei cookies?”) Also, they’ve been reading the Yiddish book.
Sure, you could say, “Get out; we want to talk.” I tried that. Nothing makes your kids want to stand there more than if you tell them you’re about to talk. To kids, it’s like listening to the news. It’s not
By Mordechai Schmutter
like there’s an official news report for your household. It’s not like every night at 6 o’clock, one of your siblings gets up and starts saying the news.
“Officials are still looking into who drew on the wall in peanut butter… In other news today, no one is getting candy tomorrow due to border disputes in the backseat. And now for traffic and weather: Totty refuses to turn up the heat, and there are a lot of delays predicted for the bathroom on Friday afternoon, so make plans to avoid it. Now here’s Chaim with sports.”
Sure, you can go into your room and lock the door, but then the kids KNOW you’re talking about them, and when you open the door, they all fall into the room, ear first. They also keep knocking for stupid questions.
“Can I take a carrot?”
“You could always take a carrot.”
Knock-knock.
“Which carrot should I take?”
I want to discuss whether we should do something nice for the kids, but it’s such a pain to get them to leave that I no longer have any interest. I’m thinking of making up some kind of awesome thing the kids want that I can just pull out and tell my wife that we’re not doing whenever I hear them eavesdropping, to discourage them for the future.
“They’re eavesdropping on our conversation. I guess we SHOULDN’T get that trampoline we were going to talk about!”
“How do you know they’re eavesdropping?”
“I hear someone chewing carrots.”
Maybe that’s an idea! Give your kids something really noisy to eat right before you start your discussions -- carrots, pickles, apples, Cap’n Crunch, celery, or Amish pretzels. That’s how the Amish do it.
Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.
Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!
Rabbi & Mrs. Pinchos Herman the birth of a son
Eliezer & Reena Katz the birth of a son
Ezra & Raizel Rosen on the birth of a daughter
Binyamin & Shoshana Soskil the birth of a son
Want
Forgotten Her es Early Israeli Aviators
By Avi Heiligman
During the first few months of the Israeli War of Independence in 1948, the Israeli Air Force was small, with only a few planes and trained pilots. However, there were many people working in cities around the world to bolster their ranks. This effort to train and recruit pilots started many years earlier. Several Jews from Eretz Yisrael joined the Royal Air Force (RAF) during World War II, and the Palmach had an air branch called the Palavir. These are some the accounts of these pilots and their subsequent incorporation into the Israeli Air Force.
Established in 1943, the Palavir was a very small flying platoon of just eight pilots led by Pinchas Ben-Porat. Born in the Ukraine, Ben-Porat came to Eretz Yisrael with his parents in the years following World War I. He learned to fly at the pilot school set up by the Aviron Aviation Company at Afikim. After acquiring enough hours to earn his pilot’s license, Ben-Porat joined the Palavir. He went to Great Britain to get his license to fly commercial aircraft, and upon his return to Eretz Yisrael in 1947, he joined the Sherut Avir, the Haganah’s air force. In December of that year, Ben-Porat was sent in a small plane to fly an air support mission at Nevatim in the Negev. The moshav was being attacked by Arabs, so Ben-Porat and his gunner took a Bren gun and filled the plane with grenades.
The gunner opened fire and dropped grenades at the 200 attackers who soon retreated. Ben-Porat landed, left his gunner at the moshav and returned to his base with a wounded man. His actions during the mission were studied and replicated during the upcoming Israeli War of Independence.
Ben-Porat transferred to the Israel Air Force in 1948 and was sent to Europe with nine other pilots to train in the recently purchased S-199 fighters.
On one mission, he broke his arm when his plane crashed, but he survived. After the war, he became the commander of a squadron flying B-17 bombers and was the first Israeli instructor at the IAF’s flying academy. In 1950, he left the military to become a pilot for El Al. Tragically, in 1955, as the co-pilot of Fight 402, Ben-Porat was killed with 57 other passengers and crew when their plane was shot down over Bulgaria. The plane veered off course – the cause of which has never been fully determined – and Bulgarian MiG-15s shot down the Israeli passenger plane.
Emanuel Zurr, shortened from Zuckerberg, was born in Poland and moved to Eretz Yisrael in the 1930s. Trained as a mechanical engineer, he worked for Aviron as a flight instructor and trained pilots for the Palmach and Haganah. In late 1947. after the UN Partition Plan was adopted and an arms embargo was
placed on the region, future Prime Minister David Ben Gurion called upon Zurr to acquire more planes from Europe. Zurr did his best to purchase planes and had some success with getting together some small Czech aircraft but more were needed. This time, Zurr looked towards Great Britain which was in the process of unloading excess aircraft.
Close to 6,000 Bristol Beaufighter multi-role aircraft were produced, with manufacturing starting in 1940. Sometimes referred to as the Beau, Zurr got word that someone in London had purchased twelve of them that were destined for the scrap yard and was looking to sell them. Since he was already known to British authorities as a plane smuggler, Zurr had someone else check out the planes. The British dealer was willing to fix up the planes and sell them for cheap, but Zurr had to check them out personally. He hired a small plane to fly him under the radar from France, and when he arrived in England, he was dismayed at the conditions of the planes. The dealer wanted to close the deal, so he lowered the price and offered to have some of them fixed in two to three weeks.
The tricky part was to fly them out of England without authorities realizing that they were headed towards Israel. Zurr came up with a plan that they were shooting a film about New Zealand’s pilots fighting against the Japanese during
World War II. A bogus movie company was set up, and pilots were recruited by South African ace pilot Terence Fairfield. Extensive work was done in creating the plot and auditioning for the movie. Only the pilots and Zurr knew what was about to happen. Five planes were ready to fly out on the third day of production, but one malfunctioned and crashed.
On August 2, 1948, four Bristol Beaufighters took off and were supposed to be heading towards Scotland. Instead, they flew towards Corsica where landed to refuel. Then they made another stop in Yugoslavia before reaching Ekron Airfield on August 4. The planes were immediately readied for aerial combat as they were painted for action in the IAF. These planes played a significant role in the conflict until they were so battered that they were unable to fly. Zurr was sent back to Europe to buy more planes and after the war became the director of Lod Airport.
The work of Ben-Porat and Zurr were essential in the early days of flying in Israel. Their dedication and heroics are history to be remembered.
Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.
A Bristol Beaufighter
Pinchas Ben-Porat Emmanuel Zurr, left
An Israeli aircraft during the War of Independence
Board with what’s being served?
(NOT ANYMORE)
The Business Man’s Mission Living Kiddush Hashem
By Rabbi Shraga Freedman
Anumber of years ago there was an extraordinarily lucrative business deal on the west coast of the United States, that was taking place after years of intense negotiations. One of the major investors was a Mr. Gershon Kamin (name changed) of New York, who stood to earn a fortune.
During the course of the final discussions, Gershon became disturbed by one of the attorneys working for the other side. The man was simply unable to refrain from using vulgar language. Gershon politely asked the lawyer to refrain from using profanities. But the use of such language was apparently deeply ingrained in his personality. Finally, Gershon warned the lawyer, “If you continue to speak like
this, I will have to leave and the deal will be off!” It did not take long before the lawyer let slip an offensive word again, and Gershon simply walked out of the room, scuttling the entire, unimaginably lucrative, deal.
Larry Fisher (name changed), another religious Jew who was present at the proceedings, was shocked by Gershon’s abrupt departure. Where had Gershon derived the inner strength to make such a sacrifice? Larry lived with this question for several years, until he happened to hear a lecture from a noted rav that delivered the answer.
The rav told a story about a man named Gershon who had been learning
at the Telshe Yeshivah in Cleveland, Ohio, decades earlier. As a bachur, he had demonstrated great promise, and he seemed to have a stellar future in the beis medrash. But Gershon’s parents wanted him to pursue a career, and with great reluctance, he agreed to leave the yeshivah to obtain a secular degree.
On his last day in the yeshivah, Gershon was summoned to the office of the rosh yeshivah, Rav Chaim Mordechai Katz. Gershon was certain that the rosh yeshivah would encourage him to maintain his learning sedarim or to continue to daven with a minyan when he entered the business world. But Rav Katz had something else in mind. “Gershon, you are about to leave the shelter of the yeshiva’s walls and venture into the outside world. You must always have one ambition, one concern above all else: to sanctify Hashem’s Name. Remember that everything you do will be either a kiddush Hashem or a chillul Hashem, and choose accordingly!” Gershon took the rosh yeshivah’s words to heart, and that principle became the guiding light of his career.
After the lecture, Larry approached the rav and asked, “By any chance, was
the boy in your story Gershon Kamin?”
Shocked the rav exclaimed, “How did you know that?”
“Because I saw with my own eyes just how deep an impact the rosh yeshivah’s message left on him,” Larry replied with feeling (as told by Rav Avraham Chaim Feuer).
Rabbi Shraga Freedman is the author of Sefer Mekadshei Shemecha, Living Kiddush Hashem, and A Life Worth Living.
Email LivingKiddushHashem@ gmail.com for a free sefer. Visit LivingKiddushHashem.org for more resources
Living Kiddush Hashem was founded with the goal of imbuing every Jew with a powerful sense of mission — the mission to be mekadeish Sheim Shamayim in his or her own unique way. We strive to accomplish this by raising awareness of the paramount importance of the mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem and its centrality in everything we do.
Sparks of Light
Grateful for Someone Else’s Bracha
By Rabbi Benny Berlin
Ionce watched a friendship fall apart because of jealousy. Two people who had been close for years, who celebrated each other’s simchas and stood by each other through painful moments, suddenly could not even look each other in the eye. There were no hurtful words and no betrayal. One of them received a major promotion in the same field, and the other simply could not be happy for them.
I still remember the silence in the room the day they stopped speaking. It was shocking to see how jealousy could destroy something that once seemed so strong and genuine.
That friendship’s end taught me something profound about gratitude as Thanksgiving approaches. We hear a lot about gratitude. Be thankful for what you have. Count your blessings. Make a gratitude list. These practices are good, but they only capture part of what gratitude can be. Real gratitude is more complicated.
There is a well-known teaching in Pirkei Avos (4:1): “Ezehu asheer hasameach b’chelko, who is wealthy, one who is happy with their portion.” Most people understand that to mean being
satisfied with what one has. But there is another way to read it. A person who is happy with “b’chelko,” can mean someone else’s portion. Someone who feels joy when another person receives a bracha.
One whose simcha is not threatened by someone else’s simcha.
accomplishments not as earned success but as theft. He cannot acknowledge that his son-in-law built something real. He cannot admit they belong to Yaakov. In Lavan’s world, another person’s blessing becomes a personal threat. They really are all mine. This is the opposite of what
The deepest gratitude we can practice may be the hardest: learning to say “thank you” for blessings that aren’t even ours.
In this week’s parsha, we meet Lavan, whose inability to feel joy for another’s success is astonishing. After Yaakov works faithfully for so many years, Lavan tells him, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine” (Bereishis 31:43). It is breathtaking in its selfishness. Lavan views Yaakov’s
it means to be “sameach b’chelko.”
The truth is that many of us struggle with this more than we care to admit. We want to be happy for others, but sometimes the success of a friend triggers a quiet ache inside. A friend gets engaged, welcomes a new baby, moves into a beautiful home, or receives public recognition, and something inside us quietly asks,
“Why not me?” That reaction does not make a person bad. It makes us human. The test is what happens afterward. Do we allow jealousy to take root and distance us from people we care about, or do we work on strengthening the part of ourselves that can genuinely celebrate someone else’s blessing?
With Thanksgiving on the horizon, maybe our focus can stretch beyond listing our own blessings. Imagine feeling true happiness when a neighbor buys a new house, with the same warmth we feel at our own simchas. Imagine smiling when a coworker gets promoted without feeling smaller because of it. To do that, we have to trust that G-d’s goodness is not limited and that someone else receiving a bracha does not take anything away from us.
The deepest gratitude we can practice may be the hardest: learning to say “thank you” for blessings that aren’t even ours.
Rabbi Benny Berlin is the rabbi of BACH Jewish Center in Long Beach, New York. For more information, visit: www.bachlongbeach.com.
TJH Centerfold
Black Friday Trivia
1. According to Adobe Analytics, what is the most commonly purchased item on Black Friday?
a. TVs
b. iPhones
c. Clothing & apparel
d. Video game consoles
2. According to Shopify, what percentage of Black Friday purchases are made from mobile devices?
a. 20%
b. 35%
c. 57%
d. 76%
3. According to Narvar Return Insights, what’s the most commonly returned Black Friday item?
a. Jackets
b. Electronics
c. Food
d. Sneakers
4. According to RetailNext, which retailer receives the most Black Friday foot traffic?
a. Best Buy
b. Walmart
c. Target
d. Costco
5. According to Google Shopping Trends, what is the
#1 most searched product on Black Friday?
a. AirPods
b. TVs
c. Video game consoles
d. Computers
6. According to Bankrate Consumer Spending Survey what percentage of shoppers buy at least one item they did NOT intend to buy on Black Friday?
a. 10%
b. 22%
c. 49%
d. 73%
7. According to Statista’s holiday spending survey, what is the average amount an American adult spends on Black Friday?
a. $85
b. $140
c. $450
d. $720
8. According to the American Psychological Association, what percentage of shoppers say they experience stress or anxiety while Black Friday shopping?
a. 12%
b. 32%
c. 62%
d. 91%
9. According to the National Retail Federation, how many people shop Black Friday in the U.S. each year?
a. 50 million
b. 130 million
c. 200 million
d. 300 million
Answers:
Wisdom key:
8-9 correct: You are a Black Friday genius…which means “you are so dumb…you are really dumb.”
3-7 correct: You are like an average American… You give yourself chest palpitations to get to Target at 6 a.m. on Black Friday so that you can get highlighters for $4.99 instead of $5.57.
0-2 correct: You are the only smart one here!
20 Types of People at a Thanksgiving(-ish) Meal
The Overconfident Carver: Insists on carving the turkey…nearly amputates his thumb.
The “I Brought Something!” Guest: Hmm…Chicken soup flavored cookies from The Dollar Tree… Wow, you outdid yourself!
The Food Photographer: Takes pictures of every dish for the Instagram account he doesn’t even have.
The Seat Shuffler: Changes seats every time someone gets up to get more gravy… Stay in one place, bro.
The Vegetarian: You vegetarians love showing up at a meal built entirely around meat and pressuring normal people – actually, GASLIGHTING normal people – into thinking that WE are the ones that are doing something wrong.
The Relationship Dude: Loves to look into your eyes and nod his head while intensely listening to what you are saying. OK, I know that you just read Dale Carnegie, but I don’t need validation here; all I said is that I think the Knicks are a good team this year.
The “Just Helping” Helper: She somehow makes everything harder. How about this— get out of my kitchen!
The Master Chef: “The umami is really working.” It’s a salad.
The Leftover Commander: Already labeling containers before the meal even begins.
The “Is It Hot?” Person: Touches the pan with full palm. Screams. Does it again.
The Politics Police: You love to warn people not to bring up politics because you hate Trump and if you hear his name you have a nervous breakdown. Hey, guess what? Nobody was thinking of Trump other than you!
The Dessert Moderator: “You see, everything is OK in proportion.” Yep, you just ate 16 small slices chocolate mousse. Eating one was proportionally small. Total calories=2,350.
The Napper: Immediately announces upon arrival that he is taking a nap on the couch. Don’t forget the L’sheim Yichud.
You Gotta be Kidding Me
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“How did Thanksgiving go at your place?” the bartender asks.
“Oh, it went fine. Had a lot of family over, and the
The Gratitude Overachiever: Has a 12-minute speech prepared about things he is thankful for. Everyone is thankful when he sits down!
The Human Vacuum: Clears dishes at superhuman speed. You blink; your plate is gone.
The Every Day is Thanksgiving Guy: You while reading this list and trying to figure out if the Centerfold Commish really has a Thanksgiving dinner… No, every day is Thanksgiving. Besides, people do Thanksgiving once a year, we have Thanksgiving every weekend, and we don’t have one meal—we have three… OK, I am now officially the worst person to have at a Thanksgiving meal.
wife prepared the meal. I helped out, though. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she could finish cooking,” the guy says. “So I removed all the batteries from the smoke detectors.”
Notable Quotes
“Say What?!”
To my knowledge, he has not told anyone to do anything illegal.
- Sen. Elissa Slotkin (D-MI), who, along with 5 other senators, put out a video telling military personnel to disobey orders by Pres. Trump, when asked on ABC’s “This Week” if she knows of any illegal orders by the Trump administration
If you look at popular culture, like if you watch A Few Good Men, we have plenty of examples since World War II and Vietnam where people were told to follow illegal orders.
– ibid.
[Trump’s] like a colossus that just strides over the party and the country, and they know that and they’ve tried everything, Laura. They’ve tried to raid his house, they’ve de-balloted him, they had five lawfare cases, 91 charges, indictments and he’s kind of, anything that doesn’t destroy him makes him stronger, and so he’s going to have a booming economy next spring when all those foreign investment, this more energy development, more tax reduction, deregulation, it’s going to be a good year and I think everybody knows it and I think the left, they’re reduced to nothing and they’re cutting these videos that are calling for military insubordination and violating a lot of the elements of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 88, Article 90, Article 92 and they’re so desperate, but there’s no defection. I think he’s stronger than he ever was.
- Hoover Institution Senior Fellow Victor Davis Hanson on Fox News
The Democrats’ plan is the Somalification of America. When you see the state of Somalia, that’s what they want for America. Because it’s easier to rule over an empire of ashes than it is for the Democratic Party to rule over a functioning, Western, high-trust society with a strong middle class.
- White House Deputy Chief of Staff Steven Miller on Fox News
Look how powerful the Democrat Party became in Minnesota once they flooded it with 100,000 Somalians! Once the elections were decided by clan rivalries and ethnic feuds, once that happened, the Democrat Party became permanently powerful in Minnesota. They became permanently powerful in the Twin Cities. That’s their model for America – to make the whole country into a version of Somalia. And everything they do gets down to that.
- ibid.
I can tell you my impression of the mayor-elect is he’s a young man with a lot of old ideas that have never worked. Point to one example where policies like his have led to anything other than a decline.
- Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent talking about NYC Mayor-elect Mamdani on CNBC
How do we maintain maybe some of that frustration we have as we travel this Thanksgiving season? Maybe we should say “please” and “thank you” to our pilots and to our flight attendants.
- Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy at a pre-Thanksgiving press conference
I think — again, I call this — just maybe dressing with some respect, you know, whether it’s a pair of jeans and a decent shirt. And I would encourage people, maybe dress a little better, which encourages us to maybe behave all a little better. Let’s try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport. I think that’s positive.
- ibid.
Goodness. Pride. Proud. Thankful that I had been blessed. Little country boy to achieve something like that.
- Raymond Hager, 95, who drives a public bus in Wichita Falls, Texas, upon achieving the Guinness World Record for being the oldest active bus driver
These people have gone mad—[Trump] just sat down and had a great meeting with the communist Muslim immigrant Mayor of New York about how to make New Yorkers happier, healthier and wealthier. Isn’t that what Democrats want?
– Jesse Watters, Fox News
You’re not a hostage anymore… Today you’re heroes.
- Pres. Trump addressing 27 freed hostages in the White House
Because of his service in the IDF, Matan was subjected to severe beatings, even at times losing consciousness. Alone and under special guard, he went through [gehenom]. Matan never broke, and today he’s a living testimony to the toughness, heart, and faith of the Jewish people. I’m telling you – you’re a great inspiration to everybody.
- ibid.
Mamdani bent the knee. Trump punked the [daylights] out of him…[During the campaign] Mamdani was like, “He’s a this…he’s a that and when I get there I’m going to tell him this.” Trump was like, “Don’t sit down.”
- Tyres analyzing the Trump-Mamdani meeting on Gutfeld
Mamdani is going to go on TV and say, “I told Trump this, I told Trump that.” Actually, no, you sat there with your hands crossed and kept looking, “Is it OK to talk.” Mamdani is the toughest guy in the room when he is surrounded by his people. He literally said, “I am your worst nightmare,” then he’s like, “Is standing here OK?”
- ibid.
Jails and incarceration and law enforcement is a sickness that has not led to safe communities.
- Chicago Mayor Johnson at a press conference
This is an isolated incident.
- ibid., at the same press conference when asked a horrific event this week where a man with 49 prior arrests doused a woman in flammable liquid and set her on fire.
My prediction is that work will be optional. It’ll be like playing sports or a video game or something like that.
- Elon Musk at the U.S.-Saudi Investment Forum last week talking about what the world will look like in 10-20 years because of AI
If you want to work, [it’s] the same way you can go to the store and just buy some vegetables, or you can grow vegetables in your backyard. It’s much harder to grow vegetables in your backyard, and some people still do it because they like growing vegetables.
- ibid.
You know what this reminds me of is that I wish that there could be like a huge national sound system. And, we would all wake up, and they’d say, “Attention, attention. We have found the problem, and we have solved it, he is gone.”
- Hillary Clinton talking about President Trump at a recent event
It helps her forget that other daydream—someone calling her Madam President.
– Greg Gutfeld, Fox News
I haven’t spoken to the President about that strike specifically, but of course the President supports Israel’s right to defend itself and to take out any terrorist threats.
- White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt when asked whether Trump supports Israel’s elimination of the Hezbollah Chief of Staff
After a thorough and very rigorous investigation … into a terrible situation caused by a man named Sleepy Joe Biden, he used an autopen last year for the turkey’s pardon… So, I have the official duty to determine, and I have determined, that last year’s turkey pardons are totally invalid.
- Pres. Trump at the pre-Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony
When I first saw their pictures…I was going to call them Chuck and Nancy, but then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them, I would never pardon those two people.
- ibid.
We must move the capital… The reality is that we no longer have a choice; it is an obligation.
- Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian in a national address warning that a severe drought may make it impossible to live in Tehran
Iran spent billions to build a nuclear bomb and the proxies to destroy Israel instead of a water infrastructure.
- Tweet by Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA)
Iran or Gaza: stop attacking Israel and rebuild your own failed nations. Israel isn’t going anywhere.
- ibid.
Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…
Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
Thank you for your insightful column. I appreciate all the panelists and their perspectives.
I am 26 and have been dating since I’ve been 21. I am dating a guy seriously now (let’s call him Aaron). It’s been three months so far, and things had been progressing really well! I just met his parents. His mother is so sweet, but to put it simply, his father is inappropriate and really has no filter.
They took us to dinner at Reserve Cut, which was super nice of them. But during our dinner, the comments his dad made made me super uncomfortable. Just a few examples, “No wonder you have such a great figure, all you eat is salad! Get a steak!” “Aaron you did good... We always knew he’d end up with a blonde,” “You’re the only girl in your family; you must have daddy issues” … to name a few. All the while his mother made apologetic statements to which his father seemed oblivious.
I laughed it all off at the time as he seemed to just be a big personality. Other moments during dinner were very good and normal, but then he’d come out with some inappropriate joke.
I don’t know what to make of this. Do I re-think this whole relationship because his father is like this? Or do I just laugh it off? Is it a red flag about Aaron or completely not connected?
Thanks, Miri*
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
The Panel
Dear Readers,
We want to offer YOU an opportunity to be part of the discussion! Please email us at MichelleMondShadchan@gmail.com, subject line “reader’s response,” if you would like to participate in the new “A Reader’s Response” columnist spot. We will send you a question and publish your answer in an upcoming Navidaters edition.
If you have a question you would like the Navidaters to answer, please reach out to this email as well.
Looking forward!
Michelle, the “Shadchan”
The Rebbetzin
Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.
Don’t condemn Aaron because of his father. However, you do want to make sure that Aaron is socially appropriate and has proper social skills.
You don’t want to tag his father as inappropriate in an obvious way. That would be insensitive. See if you can find social situations where you can see whether Aaron has social skills. And do find out from him and others about his relationships with friends and peers. You can also check through fellow congregants. Is he appropriate and does he pick up on social cues?
The Shadchan
Michelle Mond
Wow, what a conundrum! I completely understand how you must be feeling right now. You’re in a great relationship with Aaron, and then BAM, you realize his dad clearly has no filter. This was a speed bump you were not expecting.
Many good relationships end up at some kind of crossroad where one recognizes the need to stop and think. Aaron’s father clearly has issues, but are they issues you are willing to leave Aaron for? Or are you able to laugh his father off and look at him with an element of pity mixed with
humor? Can you look at him as a bit nebach and try not to take him so seriously?
You must have a talk with Aaron about this so you are on the same page. You will want to set the record straight about expectations when you visit his family. Discuss how you’d like Aaron to react/defend you when his father brings these topics up. Also, you will want to discuss boundaries surrounding how often (or not often) you will spend time with his family.
As long as you have a game plan for all of these potential issues, things will be a lot less anxiety provoking. Make sure you feel that Aaron is taking your feelings seriously and not belittling you. You want to be very careful to make sure he is on your side and sympathetic. It would be a red flag if Aaron makes light of your feel ings and tries to convince you that you’re overreacting. Hatzlacha navigating this!
The Zaidy
Dr. Jeffrey Galler
All singles fantasize that their in-laws will be decorous, jovial, and support ive wellsprings of wisdom and love – kind of like my wife and me. Unfortunately, the reality is often in-law shock.
Your boyfriend’s father may have thought he was being funny and friendly. But he was coarse and cringe-inducing. Now, you are wondering whether to laugh it off, run for the hills, or brace yourself for a lifetime of uncomfortable remarks. Here are some thoughts for you to consider.
How do you view this situation?
• If you have met the right guy, do not drop him because of his parents’ shortcomings.
• If his parents raised such an incredible young man, they cannot be all bad.
• If your boyfriend was equally mortified by his father’s comments, that is a very encouraging sign.
• If you remember that many parents are just as nervous as you are when meeting a potential son-in-law or daughter-inlaw, you will understand that in trying too hard to make a good impression, we can sometimes come across as awkward or inappropriate.
How do you lessen the impact of inappropriate in-laws?
• You can reframe coarseness as humorous, by viewing it as quirky eccentricity. If you can laugh at a strange comment, you can reduce tension and maintain peace.
• You must avoid turning this into friction between you and your husband. As unusual as his parents may be, they raised him and he loves them. Rather than criticizing or complaining, you can preserve shalom bayis by loving them, respecting them, and showing him that family harmony matters to you.
• You can fake it when necessary. When you are with your in-laws, put on your friendly face and respond to odd questions or comments with calm, warm, gentle replies.
• You do not have to live next door, and you can plan manageable visits of shorter duration on holidays and special occasions.
How do you incorporate Pavlovian techniques?
• When you apply classical conditioning techniques in your conversations with his father, you may be able to modify his inappropriate behavior.
• When his father says something proper or pleasant, respond with positive reinforcement. You can smile approvingly and respond generously, “That is so refreshing to hear,” or, “I love when you say things like that,” or, “I can see where my husband gets his wisdom.”
• When he says something out of line, do the opposite. Look blank, offer no reaction, and let the moment fall flat. Over time, he may learn which comments get rewarded.
How do you envision your future?
You are not marrying his father. You are marrying his
son. If this young man treats you with kindness, loyalty, respect, and love, then you may discover that the father’s awkward comments become nothing more than background noise. Couples thrive when they focus on each other, on common goals and aspirations, and not on unimportant distractions.
Reader’s Response
Isaiah Cox
The Curmudgeon
Dear Miri, If I were you, I would send the following letter, on actual old-fashioned paper, to Aaron’s father. I think the reason I suggest this path should be self-evident from the text.
Dear Prospective Father-In-Law, Thank you for the delicious dinner and company the other night. I appreciate your kindness and generosity.
I am writing this letter (instead of going through other channels) for a few reasons. First of all, I never want to create drama in a family, and I certainly don’t want to be in the position of unnecessar-
Pulling It All Together
The Navidaters
Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists
Dear Miri,
Thank you so much for writing in. Meeting a partner’s parents is already a vulnerable moment, and when someone behaves in a way that feels inappropriate or uncomfortable, it can leave you unsure of how seriously to take it. The comments his father made weren’t harmless jokes; they crossed boundaries and objectified you. Your discomfort is completely understandable.
That said, this isn’t really about his father. Plenty of wonderful, emotionally healthy people come from families with one difficult or inappropriate parent. What matters far more is how Aaron relates to what happened and how he relates to you.
ily creating tension or conflict between a son and his father or between any other members of a family. I am keenly aware that I never want to embarrass another person, and certainly not someone whom I would like to respect.
Which is why this letter is just between us; I have no intention of sharing it with Aaron or anyone else.
I am writing with a very serious purpose in mind. I am quite sure that you meant your remarks the other night in the most positive way imaginable. And I am flattered – really! It can be refreshing to hear what someone is thinking without any of the normal social filters. And I know you meant no harm.
My problem is that I need those filters to be there. Your comments hurt me. They made me doubt whether a long-term relationship with Aaron is worth being made to feel the way you made me felt. I am simply not willing to be made uncomfortable like that. Ever again.
In short, if we are to have a relationship going forward, then I need your help and active support.
Our future can only play out one of three ways:
1: Aaron and I break up. If that happens, it would be because you refused to react to this letter constructively.
2: Aaron and I marry and have a blessed life, with children and the works. But if you have not been able to
It’s about whether you feel heard, validated, and protected by the man you’re dating.
filter your thoughts, then this family will be separate. Aaron will not only “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” as the Torah commands him to do, but there will also only be minimal contact between Aaron’s family and yours.
3: Aaron and I marry and have a blessed life, with children and the works. If you are able to filter yourself appropriately, then you will be a full part of that future.
No reply to this letter is needed: how you speak about and to me in the future will be answer enough.
I deeply hope that you take this letter to heart, and we are able to have a long and healthy relationship, sharing simchas for many years to come. I want to respect and love you as my father-in-law. I pray that you choose to honor my wishes.
Optimistically, Miri
If Aaron is able to say, “I know my dad can be inappropriate and I’m sorry you had to sit through that — how did it feel for you?” that shows emotional maturity, empathy, and the ability to create safety inside the relationship. If, instead, he shrugs it off, minimizes your feelings, or expects you to laugh it away, that tells you something important, too.
This isn’t about whether you can tolerate his father’s personality. It’s about whether you feel heard, validated, and protected by the man you’re dating. You’re
not looking for him to fix his dad…just to be attuned enough to acknowledge what the evening was like for you.
So check in with Aaron. Share how you felt, gently and honestly. His response will give you the clarity you need. Often the red flag isn’t the parent’s behavior — it’s whether the person you’re dating recognizes the impact and holds your experience with care.
Warmly, Jennifer
Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.
Mental Health Corner
Intuition And Anxiety
By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman
Moshe was standing on a street corner waiting for his bus to arrive. He started feeling a strange sense of danger and decided to cross the street. Minutes later, a utility pole fell down on the exact spot where he was standing. Moshe’s intuition saved him from certain injury and possibly death. What exactly is intuition and how does it work?
Our brains have many different regions which all perform different tasks. The region that we are most aware of is the prefrontal cortex since that is where conscious and logical thought takes place. However, there are other parts of the brain that are gathering information through your senses and are subcon-
sciously trying to make sense of your surroundings by looking for patterns, inconsistencies, and abnormalities.
This subconscious process is vital for our survival since our thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) tends to work slowly and methodically and is not equipped to focus on subtleties and to make snap decisions. In the above-mentioned anecdote with the utility pole, Moshe’s brain noticed some very minute inconsistencies with how normal utility poles should look that seemed out of place and sent a signal of danger to Moshe.
This background process also comes to play in interpersonal relationships. When you meet someone
for the first time, your prefrontal cortex will process the more overt and noticeable pieces of information, but your background intuition is reading their subtle facial expressions and body language and may reach a conclusion that is in odds with what your prefrontal cortex is telling you. In such a case, you will have a “bad feeling” about this person and you will not be aware of the reason since this entire process is performed by a non-conscious segment of your brain.
Chazal describe this phenomenon in a fascinating Gemara in Berachos (10b). In Sefer Melachim (Melachim 2 Ch. 4), the Torah relates how Elishva Hanavi used to stay with a certain family whenever he visited the town of Shunem. After some time, the woman of the house said to her husband, “I am sure that the man who visits us regularly is a man of Hashem (a Navi).” The implication is that the woman of the house recognized that their guest was a special and extraordinary person, but her husband did not realize. The Gemara famously explains that a woman recognizes the character of her guests more than a man does. In other words, a woman’s intuition can pick up details about another person on a higher level than a man. In spite of Elisha Hanavi’s efforts to appear as an ordinary person, the woman’s intuition picked up on subtleties that were impossible to hide and therefore she understood the greatness of their guest.
How does anxiety relate to intuition? Sometimes, your brain will pick up on an apparent danger and decide to sound the alarm. The intense emotions that one feels when experiencing an anxiety attack is the body’s way of alerting you to a “four-alarm fire”. The ease at
which one’s brain decides to sound that alarm differs from person to person, with some people having their internal alarm ring so often that they can be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Should you trust your intuition or not? Yes and no. As mentioned before, the power of intuition can pick up on details that will escape your conscious notice and can be life saving. Also, if you make all of your decisions based on rational thought alone, you are blocking out an entire wellspring of guidance offered by your intuition. As Albert Einstein once said, “I believe in intuitions and inspirations. I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.”
However, the lack of intelligence in the intuitive process means that one’s intuition may be completely wrong and baseless. Additionally, if your subconscious mind sounds that four-alarm fire, you will be so emotionally aroused that you will have a very difficult time processing your thoughts and feelings.
At the end of the day, when you make important decisions, you are subjecting yourself to a grueling process that sometimes feels like groping in darkness. Intuition is one of the tools at your disposal, in addition to your intellect, advice from mentors, etc. You might never know if you made the right decision. But this much we can say without hesitation. Your intuition should hold an important seat at the decision-making table.
This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at
Jewish History
A Thanksgiving Plan to Save Europe’s Jews
By Rafael Medoff
The autumn of 1938 was a grim time for the Jews. The Nazis’ Kristallnacht pogrom had devastated German Jewry. The Evian conference, which was supposed to find havens for Jewish refugees, had proven to be a farce. And Britain was preparing to shut the doors of Palestine.
But on Thanksgiving Day, one courageous U.S. government official proposed a bold rescue plan, offering the Jewish people a glimmer of hope and reason to give thanks.
The plan’s target: Alaska.
Rich in natural resources but badly underpopulated, the vast northern territory, which the U.S. had purchased from Czarist Russia for $7 million, was the unlikely refugee haven suggested in 1938 by Secretary of the Interior Harold L. Ickes.
Ickes toured Alaska that summer, meeting with local officials to discuss ways to attract settlers to develop the region. At the same time, Japan’s aggression against China and the likelihood of war in Europe intensified American concerns about Alaska’s strategic value—and its vulnerability.
But previous attempts by the U.S. government to draw settlers to the northwestern frontier had failed. Who was willing to brave Alaska’s harsh climate?
Kristallnacht provided the answer. From the smoldering ruins of the synagogues and Jewish homes that the Nazis burned to the ground was born the idea of German Jewish refugees developing and fortifying Alaska.
As Sen. William King (D-Utah) pointed out, refugees from Hitler, when confronted by the hardships of frontier life, “would not be thinking of the comforts of life in the States that they had sacrificed, but in terms of the savagery and hopelessness of the conditions abroad from which they had been rescued.”
At a press conference on Thanksgiving eve—two weeks after Kristallnacht—
Secretary Ickes proposed Alaska as “a haven for Jewish refugees from Germany and other areas in Europe where the Jews are subjected to oppressive restrictions.”
Alaska was “the one possession of the United States that is not fully developed,”
Ickes pointed out. He noted that 200 impoverished families had recently relocated from the dust bowls of the American West to the 23,000-mile Matanuska Valley in south central Alaska. Ickes predicted their pioneering efforts would “open up opportunities in the industrial and professional fields now closed to the Jews in Germany.”
Like the brave pilgrims of the Mayflower who landed at Plymouth Rock three hundred years earlier, the Jews would flee intolerance in Europe and carve out a new life for themselves in a land of liberty.
The Interior Department proceeded to prepare a full report, explaining the vast economic potential of Alaska, the military risks of leaving the area unpopulated, and the logic of bringing in “hundreds of thousands of pioneers” from other countries. The regular immigration quotas would not apply, since Alaska was not yet a state. Based on the report, King and Rep. Franck Havenner (D-Calif.) introduced legislation to allow
refugees to settle in Alaska.
Refugee advocates created a National Committee for Alaskan Development, which built an ecumenical coalition of VIPs to back the legislation. Endorsers included Academy-Award winning actors Luise Rainer and Paul Muni, renowned theologian Paul Tillich, and the Federal Council of Churches.
Anti-immigration groups rallied against the legislation, claiming King-Havenner would open America to “Trojan horses,” such as Jews who believed in “the Marxian philosophy.” The most important opposition came from the State Department, which regarded the bill as an attempt to sneak aliens into the United States through the back door.
The key to the bill’s fate was the position that President Franklin D. Roosevelt would take. Strong leadership by the president might have made a difference. Unfortunately, Secretary Ickes already had some disappointing experiences with FDR when it came to the Nazis and the Jews.
In 1935, Roosevelt compelled Ickes to remove critical references to the Hitler regime from the draft of his commencement speech at the University of Alabama. Likewise in April 1938, FDR insisted that Ickes “cut out the references that I had made to Naziism” in a forthcoming speech, Ickes
wrote in his diary. And again that November, when Ickes was preparing a speech in response to the Kristallnacht pogrom, the president ordered Ickes “to cut out all references to Germany by name as well as references to Hitler, Goebbels, and others” from his draft. Roosevelt was concerned that such criticism would harm U.S.-German relations.
Especially ominous for the Alaska’s plan prospects was the refusal of the White House to even let Ickes gently suggest, in his draft of a December 1938 speech, that “in time,” the United States might yet “return to its former noble historic policy” regarding immigration.
Sure enough, when Ickes met with FDR on November 7, 1939 about the Alaska proposal, he found the president would accept only 10,000 settlers per year for five years, and of that number “not more than 10 percent would be Jews [so] we would be able to avoid the undoubted criticism that we would be subjected to if there were an undue proportion of Jews.”
In the end, Roosevelt was not willing to call for even that many immigrants; he refrained from saying anything publicly about the Alaska issue. Without the backing of the White House, the Alaska proposal never got off the ground.
The plan that Ickes broached on that hopeful Thanksgiving in 1938, offering a chance at life for Europe’s Jews, ended up in the growing pile of proposals for refugee havens that President Roosevelt and his administration discarded for the sake of political expediency.
Dr. Medoff is founding director of The David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies and author of more than 20 books about Jewish history and the Holocaust. His latest is The Road to October 7: Hamas, the Holocaust, and the Eternal War Against the Jews, published by the Jewish Publication Society & University of Nebraska Press.
Leopold David, a Jew from Brooklyn and the first mayor of Anchorage, Alaska
There are some kinds of pain that move silently through a person’s life. They don’t make noise. They don’t show themselves in dramatic ways. Instead, they sit quietly beneath the surface while the person carrying them tries to look normal. They put on clean clothing, show up to work, manage carpool, host meals, laugh at jokes, take photos, and smile politely. They look fine. Sometimes they even look stronger, happier, or more composed than the average person. But inside, they may be fighting a battle that is stealing their energy breath by breath.
A recent Meaningful Minute skit captured this reality with rare honesty. It struck a chord because it reflected something almost everyone knows but rarely says out loud: you never truly know what someone else is living through. Depression doesn’t always look sad. Anxiety doesn’t always look frightened. Pain doesn’t always look broken. And the people who seem the most put-together are sometimes the ones holding themselves together by the thinnest thread.
This is why grace matters. Not as a lofty idea, but as a way of moving through the world. Grace for others. Grace for ourselves. Grace as a form of compassion and as a form of truth.
The Hidden Battles No One Sees
We live in a world where struggle can be carefully edited out. With a smile, a filtered picture, or a well-timed joke, we can cover the darkest parts of our hearts. People can be deeply depressed yet still functioning. They can be anxious yet still parenting. They can be grieving yet still showing up at work with a polished face and a polite greeting.
Invisible pain is real. It walks beside people every day. It sits with people at Shabbos tables. It shows up in meet-
Health & F tness Behind Every Smile There is a Story
By Rivka Kramer, PMHNP-BC
ings. It stands behind people in line at the grocery store. You can be talking to someone who is fighting to get out of bed in the morning, and you would never know.
Mental health struggles do not always look dramatic. They do not always look like tears or a crisis. They can look like a person who is organized, capable, and put-together. They can look like a mother who runs a home beautifully but breaks down the moment the door closes behind her. They can look like a father who cracks jokes all day but feels completely empty inside.
We have to stop assuming that struggle looks a certain way. People often look “fine” because they are trying their best. Not because they are not hurting.
The
Power of Slowing Down Before We Judge
We are humans, and we naturally evaluate the world in front of us. But sometimes our quick conclusions do more harm than good. We judge a snapped comment as disrespect. We in-
terpret a lack of warmth as arrogance. We label a moment of forgetfulness as irresponsibility.
But what if the person who snapped has been awake all night caring for a sick child? What if the person who seemed distant is battling depression so heavy they can barely breathe? What if the person who forgot something important has been dealing with overwhelming anxiety that is draining their ability to manage details?
Grace asks us to pause and ask a simple, life-changing question: What if there is more to this story than I can see?
This question is not about giving people excuses. It is about giving people space to be human. It is about giving people the dignity of complexity. No one is one dimensional. No one is a single moment. No one deserves to be judged on the worst day of their life.
Grace is a softening of the heart. It is the choice to lean into kindness instead of conclusions. It is the decision to recognize that we all have moments we are
not proud of and that we all hope others will understand.
Giving Grace to Those We Love Most
It is often hardest to give grace to the people closest to us. When we love someone deeply, their actions can hit us more intensely. A sharp tone. A moment of withdrawal. A forgotten errand. These things can sting.
But love also gives us the ability to look deeper.
If your spouse seems distant, it does not automatically mean they are upset with you. They may be overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally drained.
If your child is acting out, it may not be defiance. It may be confusion, anxiety, or insecurity.
If your friend suddenly goes quiet, it may not be disinterest. It may be exhaustion, sadness, or fear.
Grace allows us to ask with sincerity: - Are you OK?
- How can I support you?
- What is happening underneath the surface?
It builds bridges where misunderstanding could have built walls. It creates connection instead of conflict. And sometimes, it is exactly what helps someone open up about the pain they were too afraid to show.
Grace for Ourselves
We often speak about giving others grace but rarely about giving grace to ourselves. And the truth is many people are far more forgiving of others than they are of themselves.
We tell ourselves we should be stronger. We should have handled that better. We should not feel this way. We should be able to juggle everything without breaking.
We speak to ourselves with a harshness we would never use on another person.
But what if we extended the same compassion inward? What if we recognized that we also have invisible battles? Our own fears. Our own disappointments. Our own exhaustion. Our own trauma. Our own healing.
Grace for ourselves looks like:
- Allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
- Admitting when something feels too heavy.
- Forgiving yourself for the days you are not at your best.
- Understanding that your worth does not depend on constant performance.
- Knowing you are allowed to be a work in progress.
You do not have to earn the right to be human. You already are.
How
Grace Changes Communities
A community built on grace feels different. Conversations are gentler. Interactions are more patient. Differences are navigated with curiosity instead of judgment.
Imagine if we looked at each other with softer eyes. Imagine if we assumed goodness instead of assuming the worst. Imagine if we allowed people to be com-
plicated and imperfect and still deserving of understanding.
Grace turns communities into safe havens. It allows people to show up as they are. It encourages honesty. It reduces shame. It builds support instead of fear.
A childhood that shaped them. Experiences that changed them. Wounds that still ache. Dreams that have not yet been fulfilled. Fears they hide behind laughter. Emotions they do not have the words for.
When we see someone only through
Imagine if we allowed people to be complicated and imperfect and still deserving of understanding.
When people know they will not be judged for their struggles, they are more likely to seek help. They are more likely to share. They are more likely to feel connected instead of isolated.
Grace strengthens relationships. Grace reduces conflict. Grace transforms the way we move through the world.
the moment we encounter them, we miss the full picture. Grace reminds us to look deeper. To assume that there is more than meets the eye.
We do not lose anything by being kinder. But we can give someone everything.
to treat people with compassion even when they are difficult. It takes strength to forgive yourself for not being perfect. We are all walking through this life with invisible weight. Some days are heavier than others. Some seasons are darker than others. Grace is the gentle voice that says:
- You are trying
- You are worthy
- You are human
- And that is enough
Meaningful Minute reminded us of a simple truth. You never know what someone is carrying. This is why we give grace to others. And this is why we must also give grace to ourselves.
Because the world becomes softer when we soften. And sometimes, a single moment of grace is the thing that helps a person make it through another day.
Story
Remembering That We All Have a
At the heart of it all, grace is about remembering that everyone has a story.
The Soft Strength of Grace Grace is not weakness. It is strength of the highest form. It takes strength to hold back judgment. It takes strength to choose understanding. It takes strength
Rivka Kramer is a Board Certified Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. She has a psychiatric private practice based in Cedarhurst, NY. She serves as a member of the board of JANPPA, the Jewish American Nurse Practitioner Psychiatric Association. She can be reached at 516-945-9443.
Itried to hold off on this article until Kislev. The sukkah was barely in the shed when I already overheard children discussing Chanukah. Like most people, I happen to like Chanukah, so the excitement didn’t surprise me. Unfortunately, most of their conversation revolved around what gifts they wanted. The vibe I got from the kids was one of continuously wanting bigger and better. Naturally, they didn’t phrase it this way, but I could tell it was the underlying feeling.
With this attitude, a person is never happy. There will always be something else they want – something newer, bigger or seemingly better. The society around us is built around this sentiment. Each day something different goes “viral,” another influencer discovers the greatest product, or a new item hits the shelves.
This attitude is actively encouraged through more subtle means. Products today are meant to be limited time use only. Many items are either built to break or become outdated, quickly necessitating the purchase of a new one. The mixer purchased after my wedding lasted for over two decades; the new one sounds like it’s crying from a simple cookie dough.
It’s exhausting to keep chasing a fleeting feeling that doesn’t truly exist. They’re happy for the moment but soon looking for the next new thing they “have to have.” Still, there is nothing wrong with children receiving gifts or new items. Life is a balance, and parenting is no exception. But, among all the Chanukah gifts and other daily necessities, perhaps we can give our children the greater present – the gift of gratitude.
A Chanukah Note
Chanukah is such a beautiful yom tov. The menorah lights up our homes and hearts. The singing and dancing bring laughter and joy into the festivities. Latkes and sufganiot need no explanation as little hands reach out with excitement.
Each night we are surrounded with a unique mitzvah of light and a reminder of our Divine purpose. As Jews in the cur-
Parenting Pearls Gifting Gratitude
By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
rent galus, we readily see in ourselves and in our surroundings the temptations and dilemmas faced by the Jews of long ago – the enticement of the outside world and the desire to fit in, contrasted with the eternal holiness of our Torah and the beauty of mitzvos.
Each family has their own minhagim regarding presents and other gift giving on Chanukah, and this article is not taking a position on this matter. There are many ways to celebrate and enhance these days for our children, and it’s hard to deny the simcha that a new toy can bring. The issue isn’t whether or not a gift is given on Chanukah or any time of the year. The discussion is how to encourage parents to gift gratitude and other good middos with it.
The Issue
There are two complementary sides to this issue, one negative and the other positive. One part is intentionally avoiding the continuous need for more. The other side is experiencing gratitude for what we have (and receive). Both need to be actively included in a child’s chinuch.
Children usually want more things. Their friend has it. Everyone has it (it’s always debatable if this is true). They saw it somewhere. It was advertised. A vision in a dream. There is no limit to the ways children can decide on the next latest and greatest “must have.”
As parents, we often underestimate the power of peer pressure and to what level children can be influenced. Having the “in thing” is perceived as more than merely acquiring a possession; it’s seen as a key to being accepted and as a status symbol. It doesn’t matter how silly the item is. Often, it seems like the more foolish the item is, the more desirable it becomes.
Being grateful for what we have is a separate but important middah. It could be considered one of the keys we give our children to help them attain a future of happiness. Children have to be taught to have gratitude – it’s not automatic.
Gratitude is a 24 hour a day experience. We can appreciate not only the gifts we openly receive wrapped in pretty paper but also the ones we tend to ignore. Air to breathe, food to eat (even if it’s not their favorite) and a body that functions. We have before us many daily gifts. We can either get simcha from appreciating each and every one of them or never notice they exist. The choice is ours.
Parents Lead
As with all areas of parenting, our children look to us as a guide for their own behavior. We may not recognize it, and the lessons we impart may be subtle or unintentional, but we are their guide. Our attitudes seep into them, diffusing into their hearts, minds and souls.
This can be rather frightening to think about. Imagining our every action being separately viewed by a pair of young, impressionable eyes can be overwhelming. At least by Rosh Hashana Hashem understands our challenges and intentions. With kids, they have only the view in front of them.
This can also be reassuring and inspiring. It’s so hard to teach our children everything there is to know as Torah Jews. To recognize the power of our actions, and that we can teach by example, gives us a powerful tool that is always available. We don’t have to think of complex algorithms to pass something on; we can live it ourselves and daven they follow us on the proper path.
It’s also an opportunity. We can be so focused on the daily needs of our children that we forget our own personal growth. By improving our own middos to match those we’d like our children to emulate, we’re also raising ourselves in the process. It’s amazing to think we can double the benefit of our every action. Not only are we growing as individuals, we’re also engaged in the act of chinuch ha’banim –true efficiency!
Our children notice if we’re always looking for the latest and greatest new item or if we purchase things based on our needs. They can tell if we need physical items to make us feel secure as individuals or if we can appreciate our worth separate from our possessions. Our children can sense if we value the daily gifts we have or if we ignore what we receive. As we prepare for Chanukah and work to make the yom tov even more meaningful, we can add the gift of gratitude to the list.
Sara Rayvych, MSEd, holds a master’s degree in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 15 years. Sara provides personalized parent mentoring services, addressing a variety of general and specific parenting concerns. She can be contacted at Sara.Rayvych@gmail.com with comments, questions or for private consultations.
School of Thought
By Etti Siegel
Q:Dear Etti, I’m at my wit’s end. My daughter is bright, articulate, and curious. She’s the kind of child who can have an intelligent conversation with any adult and who reads everything she can get her hands on. But when it comes to schoolwork, she just…doesn’t.
Her teachers tell me she’s capable of excellent work; when she actually turns something in, it’s thoughtful and well-written. But those moments are few and far between. Most of the time, she doesn’t finish her classwork, puts off assignments until the last minute (if at all), and always seems to be “getting ready to start.”
At home, I see the same pattern. She’ll talk about her ideas for a project with great enthusiasm, but when it comes time to sit and do it, she’s suddenly “tired,” “needs a snack,” or “just remembered something else.” Her teachers are frustrated, and honestly, so am I. She’s too capable for this cycle to continue, but I’m not sure how to help her find her motivation or manage her time.
Do you have any suggestions for how we all can support her without making her feel like she’s a problem?
Sincerely,
- Frustrated but Hopeful Mom
A:Dear Frustrated but Hopeful, You’ve described a child who sounds delightful: verbal, insightful, and full of potential. The very qualities you notice – her strong language skills, curiosity, and rich imagination – are tremendous strengths. Bright children sometimes struggle most when it comes to managing their own time and work habits. Their minds are racing ahead, full of connections and ideas, while the real-world task in front of them feels slow, boring, or overwhelming.
It’s important that your daughter doesn’t start seeing herself as “lazy” or “the problem.” What she’s facing is a skill gap, not a character flaw. Skills like planning, prioritizing, and staying focused are part of what psychologists call executive functioning. These skills mature gradually, and for some children, especially those who are imaginative, easily distracted, or possibly have ADHD, they develop later or unevenly.
Large wall calendars can be helpful if the information gets on the board. A focus wall can be helpful; pictures of where she wants to be (drama head one day?), who she
wants to be (profession?), what she wants to have (a good report card? a necklace?). These keep her grounded. As she starts to slip away into a new daydream, she is reminded of her bigger goals.
Here are some more practical ways to help her build those skills without chipping away at her confidence:
1. Break Tasks Into Manageable Chunks
It’s important that your daughter doesn’t start seeing herself as “lazy” or “the problem.”
Big projects or long assignments can feel like climbing a mountain with no visible top. Sit down with her and break tasks into small, concrete steps: “head the paper,” “write the heading,” “choose a topic sentence.” Check them off as she goes. This builds momentum and gives her a sense of progress.
2. Help Her Prioritize
Many bright students are idea-rich but structure-poor. Have her make a short “Now, Next, Later” list when facing multiple assignments. Keeping it visual and limited helps prevent the freeze that comes from feeling overwhelmed.
3. Remove Unnecessary Distractions
Children like your daughter are often highly sensitive to their environment. A ringing or buzzing phone, other kids running around, or even an interesting book nearby can pull her away from her work. Create a quiet, as distraction-free as possible workspace where she can focus for short stretches.
4. Use Timed Work Bursts
Set a short timer, 10 or 15 minutes, and let her know she only needs to focus until it rings. Then she earns a short break. These “work sprints” can make tasks feel
less endless and help her brain learn the rhythm of effort and reward.
5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Output
Make a point of noticing the small wins: “I love how you stuck with that paragraph,” or “You really planned that project step by step today.” Positive attention for effort, rather than nagging about avoidance, reinforces her progress.
6. Play Games
Games are a wonderful way to strengthen a child’s ability to focus. Turn-taking, thinking ahead, learning strategy, and following directions all build the kind of mental discipline she, and all children, need to succeed. Even if you only have a few minutes, quick activities like “Simon Says” can make a real difference. It’s an all-age favorite that boosts attention, listening skills, and careful thinking while keeping things light and fun.
7. Consider an Evaluation
Since procrastination, disorganization, and distractibility can sometimes point to underlying ADHD or executive function challenges, it may be worth having her evaluated. A clear diagnosis (if there is one) can help guide the right supports both at home and in school. With patience, structure, and the right support, your daughter can learn to harness her strengths instead of being derailed by them. She’ll discover that her intelligence and creativity are assets, not obstacles, and that the same brain that loves ideas can also learn the strategies to get things done.
Hatzlacha, - Etti
Mrs. Etti Siegel holds a MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. Etti is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, FACTS Education Solutions, Brienza Academic Advantage, Yeled V’Yalda; is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country; and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School Leaders and has a weekly column in The Jewish Home.
Gavriel Goldstein, 8 & Noah Goldstein, 4
Note:
Moshe Edelman, 7
Abigail Hollander, 5
Rena Feigenbaum, 6
Binyamin Schiermeyer, 5
Mordechai Ickovitz, 4
Yaakov Asher Golfeiz, 5
Shraga Friedman, 12
Aviva, 9
Yisroel N., 8
Motti Slavaticki Maya Meinecke, 7
Note: Not all submission have been published. Keep sending in your artwork for another chance to be featured!
Ayala Khoshkheraman
Rumi Friedman, 9
Gaga Friedman, almost 5!
Eliana, 7 & Ayala, 5
Elisheva Friedman, 8
Emuna Tova Livingston, 8
Geula, 12 & Leib, 8 Maaravi
Divid Dov, 6
Binyamin Tzvi HaKohen, 7
Vorah Friedman, 3
Shmulie Slavaticki
Netanel Ezzatpour, 7
Yonatan Grossman, 1
Chananya Khoshkheraman
Bella Barer, 5
Layla Wise, 5
Yael Fakheri, 7 LC, 7 & ER, 4
Tehila Graber, 5
Shifra Leah Feldman, 10
Avraham L., 5
Rikki Hollander, 8
Ruti Tuchman, 5
Naama Schiermeyer, 9
Shira Michelsohn, 6
In The K tchen
Pumpkin Challah
Pareve / Yield: 6 medium challahs
By Naomi Nachman
In 2013, Thanksgiving and Chanukah fell out on the same day and so I created a pumpkin-flavored challah for that Shabbos. Since then, every Shabbat of Thanksgiving weekend, I make this challah (I even included it in
my cookbook, Perfect Flavors!).
Ingredients
◦ 4 cups warm water
◦ 2 cups sugar
◦ 2 Tablespoons dry yeast
◦ 3 eggs
◦ ½ cup coconut or canola oil
◦ 2 cups canned pumpkin puree
◦ 5 pounds high gluten flour, plus up to 1 additional cup
◦ 1 Tablespoon salt
◦ 2 beaten eggs whites, for egg wash
◦ Streusel Topping, recipe follows
Preparation
1. Into a large mixing bowl (or bowl of a Magic Mill), place water, sugar and yeast. Proof the yeast for a few minutes until foamy.
2. Meanwhile, in a smaller bowl, mix together eggs, oil, and pumpkin.
3. After the yeast has foamed, add pumpkin mixture to yeast mixture; mix together by hand or in the machine for about 1 minute. While the machine is running, slowly add half the flour from the bag, then the salt, then the remaining bagged flour. The mixture will start to form into a dough ball. It may be sticky, so you can gradually add up to 1 more cup of flour.
4. When the dough is no longer sticky, let it rise for 2 hours, covered, in the bowl.
5. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2-3 baking sheets with parchment paper; set aside.
6. Divide dough into 6 portions. Then divide each portion into 3 parts. Roll each
part into a rope; use 3 ropes to braid each challah. Place challahs on prepared baking sheets.
7. Brush challahs with egg wash; add streusel topping, if using (see below). Bake for about 45 minutes, until the challah is golden brown.
Cook’s Tip: An easy way to tell if the challah is baked through: Carefully tap the bottom of the challah. If it sounds hollow, it’s fully baked.
Streusel Topping (optional)
Ingredients
◦ 1 cup flour
◦ 1 cup sugar
◦ ½ cup coconut or canola oil
◦ 1 cup mini marshmallows
Preparation
1. Use a fork to combine all ingredients in a small bowl till crumbs form.
2. Toss marshmallows into the streusel before serving.
3. Can serve with additional mini marshmallow on top when serving.
Recipe from Perfect Flavors by Naomi Nachman published by Artscroll/Mesorah
Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.
