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2020

mi chael mas

i ssue10

BAI T

bor der s

ART POETRY PROSE PHOTOS ESSAYS

FROM CAMBRI DGE ANDTHEWORLD


GEORGI EJACKSON


ALLPROFI TSFROM THI SI SSUEWI LL BEDONATEDTO SOLI DARI TEE Sol i dar i Teewasf oundedi nJ anuar y2017byTi ar aSaharAt ai i ,a t henf i r s ty ears t udentatt heUni v er s i t yofCambr i dge.I thass i nc e ex pandedf r om t s hi r ts al esont hebac kofTi ar a’ sbi k et oani nt er nat i onalor gani s at i onwi t ht eamsatov er55uni v er s i t i esi nmor e t han 8 c ount r i eswor l dwi de,wi t h ov er700 s t udentv ol unt eer s wor k i ngonf undr ai s i ngandawar enes sr ai s i ng. Ourwor kf al l si nt ot womai nbr anc hes :f undr ai s i ngt opr ov i de gr ant sf orNGOswor k i ngonl egal ai df orr ef ugeesi nGr eec e,and awar enes sr ai s i ngt odi s pelhar mf ulnar r at i v esaboutr ef ugees andas y l um s eek er sands pr eadk nowl edgeaboutgl obal r ef ugee i s s ues .Ourmai ns our c eoff undr ai s i ngi st s hi r ts al esbyr epsat ourr egi onal uni v er s i t yt eams ,butweal s ohos tf undr ai s i ngev ent s s uc hasr af f l esandwehav er ec ent l yl aunc hedar angeofv i r t ual gi f t sonouronl i nes hop. Ouruni queanddi s t i nc t i v et s hi r t smeett hehi ghes tet hi c alpr oduc t i ons t andar ds :t hey ’ r eor gani c ,v egan,andpr oduc edbymanuf ac t ur er swhopayt hel i v i ngwage.Wheni tc omest oawar enes s r ai s i ng,wehos tar angeofev ent sy ear wi deandpr oduc ei nf ogr aphi c sand my t hbus t er s ,whi c hy ou c an s ee on ours oc i al medi ac hannel s . Sol i dar i T eemi ghthav egonegl obal ,buti t ’ ss t i l l t hr i v i ngati t sor i gi nal Cambr i dgec ent r e,andwe’ dl ov et os eeBAI Tr eader sget t i ng i nv ol v ed,whet heri t ’ ss uppor t i ngourf undr ai s i ngef f or t sbybuy i ng t hi si s s ue orc omi ng al ong t o ourr egi onalawar enes sr ai s i ng ev ent sher ei nCambr i dge.Whynotgety our s el fat s hi r tf r om one ofourr epsands howy ours ol i dar i t ybywear i ngi tar oundt own? Wear et r emendous l ygr at ef ult ober ec ei v i ngal lpr oc eedsf r om t hi sedi t i onofBAI T,andwoul dl i k et ot hankev er y onewhohas c ont r i but edt of ac i l i t at i ngSol i dar i T ee' swor kbydonat i ng.


Al et t erf r om A BAI Tl aunc h us ed t o be a par t yi ns ome c ool— and s omet i mesc ol d— v enues omewher ei nCambr i dge.Butgi v en wec an’ tf r eez et oget heri nopenai rs quas hc our t sdeepi n mi dwi nt er ,we’ r ev er yhappyt ohav ey ouher e,wher ev erher e i sf ory ou. Ev enwi t houtt heunav oi dabl e~c i r c ums t anc es ~,t hi shasbeen anunpr ec edent edt er mf ort hez i ne.We’ v es eenmor ei nt er es t , andgott ok now mor enew names ,t hanev erbef or e—-and we’ dr eal l yl ov ey oual lt os t i c kabout ,k eeps ubmi t t i ng,k eep r eadi ng,andf i ndnewway sofs eei ngbet weent hes ec ov er s . Az i nei sac ur i oust hi ng,r eal l y ,bec aus ei tc ant hr i v eonl i neas wel lasi npr i nt .Ouradmi nhappensmos t l yonGoogl eDr i v e andMes s engergr oupc hat s ;ourdes i gnonf r eet r i alAdobe ( wehav eal otoff ak eemai l s ) .Thi si s s uewasputt oget heron Zoom and t hr ee ofourt eam member sf ound t hems el v es quar ant i ni ngatdi f f er entpoi nt sdur i ngt hepr oc es sofmak i ng t hi sz i ne.Dur i ngt hes es t r anget i mes ,t hec r eat i v epr oc es sof mak i ngt hi sz i nef el tl i k eamuc hneededout l et . Wewer ewor r i ed,att hes t ar toft hef i r s tl oc k down,t hatwi t hout i nper s onl aunc hesanddr i nk anddr aws ,t heBAI Tc ommuni t y woul d be l os t . We l ear ned v er y qui c k l y ,t hough, t hat c ommuni t ydoes n’ tj us tmeanDJs et sandwar mc ansofSt el l a. Ar t ’ ss uper power( f or gi v eusget t i ngal lEngl i s hl ec t ur erf ora s ec ond)i ss omet i mest hatt hev i ewer ,orr eader ,get st of eel t heyk nowt hemi ndoft hear t i s t ,orpoet ,ordes i gner .

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t heBAI Tt eam Youc anl i v ei nt hemomentapoem des c r i bes ;y ouc ans eet he s i ghta phot ogr aphert houghtwas wor t hc apt ur i ng.I t ’ sa c onnec t i on. Av i r usdoesnotmak eahal tatbor der s .St i l l ,i n2020,bor der s t hathav es eemed f l ui dt o manyofuswho ar e pr i v i l eged enought oc r os sbor der satwi l l s uddenl yt ur nedoutt ober i gi d. I nt er per s onalbor der swer eer ec t ed,andl i f es eemedt ot ak e pl ac ev i r t ual l yoratadi s t anc eoft womet er s .Cr eat i v i t yand f l ex i bi l i t y bec ame ev en mor ei mpor t antf orc r os s i ng s uc h bor der s . Des pi t et hemanyabs t r ac tway sofs peak i ngaboutbor der swe f i ndi nev er y t hi ngs ur r oundi ngus ,geogr aphi c albor der sar ea t angi bl eandi ns ur mount abl er eal i t ys hapi ngl i f eanddeat hf or many .Cambr i dgeUndoi ngBor der sandSol i dar i T eear ej us t t wo oft he amaz i ng i ni t i at i v es t hatf i ghtf ort he r i ght s of mi gr ant s and r ef ugees ,and mak e us hopef ulf ora wor l d wi t houtbor der s . Bypubl i s hi ngdi f f er entv oi c es ,i mages ,andmoment s ,we’ d l i k et ohel pc r eat ebr i dgesbet weenpeopl e.I tt ur nsoutt hata c ommuni t yc anbeagr oupi nonepl ac e— ori tc anbea c ons t el l at i onofpeopl edot t edar oundt hewor l d,t i edt oget her bys onnet sandbandwi dt handappr ec i at i on.We’ r eal way si n aweoft het al entofev er y onewhos ubmi t s .Butdur i ngt hes e uns t abl eday s ,we’ r emor egr at ef ul f ori tt hanev er . Al l ourl ov e, TheBAI TT eam 5


Undoi ng

Bor der s CAMBRI DGEUNDOI NG BORDERS

Cambr i dgeUndoi ngBor der si sas t udent l edc ampai gns et updur i ngt heoc c upat i onofOl dSc hool si nMar c h2020asa wayt oc ol l ec t i v el yr es i s tt hegov er nment ’ shos t i l eenv i r onment i mmi gr at i onpol i c i esandt hei radv anc eont oourc ampus . Thehost i l eenvi r onmenti sas etofgov er nmentmeas ur es i nt r oduc edi n2012.I nt endedt omak el i f ef orundoc ument ed mi gr ant si nt heUKasdi f f i c ul taspos s i bl e,t hi spol i c ymani f es t s i namul t i t udeofway st oc ons t ant l ymoni t or ,meas ur e,and s c r ut i ni z emi gr ant s . Ef f ec t i v el y ,i mmi gr at i onc ont r ol swer ebr oughti nt oal las pec t s ofl i f e— t ur ni ngempl oy er s ,l andl or ds ,bankc l er k s ,ordoc t or s i nt obor derenf or c ementof f i c er s .Uni v er s i t i eshav ebec omean ex t ens i onoft heHomeOf f i c eex er c i s i ngmas ss ur v ei l l anc e, s ec ur i t i s at i onandbor derpol i c i ng. Uni v er s i t i esar ei ns t r ument ali nbl oc k i ngmi gr ant s ’ac c es st o educ at i onasoneoft hemos ti mpor t antpubl i cgoods .Mi gr ant s wi t hi r r egul ars t at usar edeni edac c es sc ompl et el y ,whi l et hos e wi t hat empor ar ys t at usf ac ei ns ur mount abl ebar r i er s . 6


Uni v er s i t ys t af far el egal l yobl i gedt omoni t ort hei rs t udent s andc ol l eaguesi nl i newi t ht heHomeOf f i c e' sagenda.They c ol l abor at e wi t hi mmi gr at i on enf or c ementi n or dert o pl ac e mi gr ant si ndet ent i onordepor tt hem. Thepr ec ar i ouss t at usandt her es t r i c t i onst hatmi gr ant sar e f ac i ngr es ul t si ns egr egat i onatt hewor k pl ac e.Bot hac ademi c andnonac ademi cs t af fatuni v er s i t yar emor el i k el yt obeon l owpai d,c as ual i s edandout s our c edc ont r ac t s . The Uni ver si t y ofCambr i dge hasr epor t ed atl eas tt hr ee s t udent st ot heHomeOf f i c es i nc e2014f ornonc ompl i anc e wi t h t he demands of t hei rv i s as — wi t h unk nown c ons equenc esf ort hes es t udent s .I nf or mat i on aboutt hes e pr oc edur ess eemsdel i ber at el yv agueanddi f f i c ul tt oac c es s , addi ngt oanat mos pher eofant agoni s mt owar dsi nt er nat i onal s t af fands t udent sf ac i ngs i t uat i onsofpr ec ar i t y . Uni v er s i t i esi nt heUK i nc l udi ngt heUni v er s i t yofCambr i dge hav ebec omeas i t eofi nc r eas i ngl yi nv as i v ef or msofpol i c i ng, andmi gr ants t udent sands t af far eunderc ons t antt hr eatof det ent i onanddepor t at i on.Mi gr ant sar et het ar get ,butt hes e pol i c i eser odehumanr i ght sandf r eedom asawhol e. Theuni v er s i t yasas i t eofk nowl edgepr oduc t i ons uf f er swhen i ti mpos est hev i ol enc eoft hebor derr egi me,demar c at i ngbot h c ommuni t i es and i deas al ong Eur oc ent r i c ax es ofv al ue. Undoi ng Bor der si sr ec l ai mi ng t he uni v er s i t y as a s i t e of s t r uggl ef orj us t i c eandhumanr i ght s . Weur geVi c eChanc el l orSt ephenT oopet os i gnt hePl edge Agai nstt heHost i l eEnvi r onmentandj oi ni nwi t ht hos ewho r ai s et hei rv oi c es f ormi gr antj us t i c e and a mor e humane uni v er s i t y . 7


CONTENTS 2Geor gi eJackson 6Undoi ngBor der s Cambr i dgeUndoi ng Bor der s

24Mur mur at i on Si eveBonai ut i 28Geor gi eJackson 29Fami l yHol i dayi nDeat h Val l ey Emi l ySwet t enham 32NayanaPadmanabhan

8Al exHaydnWi l l i ams

34Annot at i ngI r i s CalHewi t t

11I nc r edul i t à di San T ommas o Si eveBonai ut i

38Wher eWeLi v e ZoeSmi t h

12Ol dSt .Panc r as CalHewi t t 13Pr oj ec t i onsonOc t ober Sk i es Emi l yCl ayt or 14Wi nni eZhu 16ForWhi c hI tSt ands Bet hanHol l owaySt r ong 20Bor der l i neRes ur r ec t i on Anamar i aKoeva 22Nor t h,s out h,i nbet ween. AnnaFr eys

39Amer i c anGi r af f es Xavi erHaendl er 40Thr eads El i aneThomaSt emmet I nbi nar yourv owel st as t e t hes ame col dgl as sand pol y car bonat e andnot hi ngl i k et he gor geous bl i ndi ngt as t eofy our s houl derwhi chi s l i ght onaweek end22


428pm Si eveBonai ut i

66Li v i ngRoom Cubi s m Kar ol i naFi l ova

44Hel enaandHer mi a Al exHaydnWi l l i ams

74El l aCur r y

48LucyHowi e 50TheBodyi sT er r es t r i al Al ol i kaA.Dut t a 56Al exVar di l l i near l ymor ni ngunl i ght , f l ankt of l anki nt ent at i v e adj acence58

75Unt i t l ed( Thur s day Ev eni ng) SaulBar r et t 76I si tov ery et ? Tol uAki ngbade 79EmmaCor r adi ni 80Hunt er / Gat her er EmmaRowl ey 82Geor gi eJackson

58Cal l i ngt hr ough. . . Ar chi eHamer t on 59Geor gi eJackson 60Wi l l yWonk a' sChees e Fac t or y Cat eHor ne 62Yougotol der . . . SaulBar r et t 63Sophi eTr an 64AShor tSt ay / HerLi v i ng Room Sophi eBecki ngham

t hemor edecor at i v et he f r ame,t hemor e appet i s i ngi tl ook edt o me.I fonl yIdar edcome al i t t l ecl os er !The f r ame’ sgol dengl os s woul dt as t el i k ei ci ng,I wass ur eoft hat ,and t hent hecar v ed or nament swoul dcr ack undert hepr es s ur eof myt eet hl i k echocol at e andI ’ ds i nki nt ot he cr eamys of t nes s .66


Shecamedr es s edast heot her s .I twasonl yt hel adderi n hert i ght sandt hemudonhers hoest hatgav eheraway . Buts hewasdr es s edast heot her s ,al l i nbl ack .Cr i s p cr oppedbl az er ,wi t hapenci l s k i r t .Shef i l edi nal ongs i de Ani t aDobs onandt heot herwi v esandgi r l f r i ends .88 84Wi l dSwi mmi ng Geor gi eNewsonEr r ey 86Landl es s Jef fGu

98Butev eni nourat t i c undert hes k y l i ght ,wemak e l ov ei nabl eac hgr een Audr eyLee

86Geor gi eJackson

99Thei rCar el es sCar es s es El l aCur r y

88StMar y ’ sCemet er y Ái neMcNamar a

102Gener at i onEduc at i on Xavi erHaendl er

91Wi nni eZhu

103StCat z I zMaxwel l

92Tr eadi ngwat er Hendr i kj eDor ussen 93Ghanai anDr eam Mi r i am Emef aDz ah 94Pr ox i mi t y Mi r i am Emef aDz ah 97Quar ant i neVi ew Xavi erHaendl er

104Bor der sPl ay l i s t Pl ayt i me 104Pr oc es s ed Her bi eLambden 106NewHal l Ar tCol l ec t i on NaomiPol onsky 110Fr ancescaRi gg

Cov erandbac kc ov erphot osbyAnaMar i aSal esPr ado


UTI EVEBONAI SI


OLDSTPANCRAS CALHEWI TT

Youknow:wher et heymet ,wher et heyki ssed Even,i sdownwar ds—l ook—downwar ds. Notatt hef oot pr i nt si nmuddi edr ai nwat er : Beyondt hose.Doest hati mbue Eachbl ackbaggedi nt er changeofcommut ereyes Wi t haki ndofpoet r y ,t obewhi sper ed I nt hedust yai rwhenat r ai ncomesi n, Toechoi nt hear ches?Har dl y . Butmayi tr emi ndust hatanEar t h I sst i l lt her e,atal evelbet weent heconcour se Andt heunder gr ound,bet weensui t edshuf f l es Andt hequi verofal t er nat i ngcur r ent Thatwasoncei mpr essedbybar edl over s’ f eet .

[ Not e:StPanc r as —s i nc et hepandemi c ,Gr eatBr i t ai n’ sonl y i nt er nat i onalr ai l way s t at i on—i s bui l tpar t i al l y on t he gr av ey ar d wher eay oungPer c yandMar yShel l eymets ec r et l yasl ov er s .If i nd t hebr i c kwal l whi c hs epar at est het r ac k sf r om t her emai ni ngpl ota par t i c ul ar l yev oc at i v ebor derbet weenpr es entandpas t . ]

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PROJECTI ONSON OCTOBERSKI ES EMI LYCLAYTOR

Ist epouti nt ot hedar kmor ni ng wi t hasenseofcl ar i t y .Dust y dawngl owhangsoversi l houet t ed t r ees,cl eanersomehowf orbei ng seenf i r sti nt heabsenceofbl i ndi ng l i ght .Asdaybr eaks,It hi nkofal lt he t i mesIwasconvi ncedofbei ngatt he cent r eofamal evol entuni ver se, wei gheddownbyt hepl anet s’ or bi t t i l t edt owar dsmyhol l owhear t . Suddenl y ,If eell i ber at i ngl ysmal l : equalt ot hemi l l i onsofabst r act i onsi n t hi suni f or m sunr i se,unbur denedby t heheavypul lofmyskel et alhome. Theenvel opi ngaut umnskysoot hes sel f dest r uct i vesel f i mpor t anceand set t l esi nt oshadesofuncer t ai nt y .I canbeever yt hi ngandnot hi ng,wor t h nei t hermor enorl essasmybr eat h swaysi nacl oudofcol dai rand, bef or emyeyes,di sappear s.Al lat once,Iam at ower i ngcl i f f si deandt he t i ni estgr ai nofsand;t hel onel i est st r i ngandt hewhol e,noi syband. 1 3


1 4

WI NNI EZHU


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ForWhi chI tSt ands BETHANHOLLOWAYSTRONG

If ol l owedt hel i neofChr i st i na’ sar m,herpoi nt i ng f i ngersi l houet t edagai nstt hebl i ndi ngsky .“ Ther et hey ar e.Iseet hem. ” Ist r ai nedmyeyes,squi nt i ngagai nstt hegl ar e.The skywast i ghtt oday ,st r et chedhi ghandt i ght ,l i kewewer e al li nsi deabr i ghtbl uebal l oonbl ownupt ot hepoi ntof poppi ng.Icoul df eelt hepr essur eoft heheatpr essi ng downonmybar eshoul der s.If el tl i keAt l as. Isqui nt ed agai n and f i nal l y made t hem out ,a spat t er i ngoff l ecksagai nstt hebl ueness.“ Whatar et hey doi ng?”Iasked,pai nf ul l yawar eofmyowni gnor ancebut si mul t aneousl yf eel i ng somewhat super i or , because, af t eral l ,i twasmyi gnor ancet hatsepar at edmef r om t he r estoft hem.Iwasknowl edgeabl e aboutot her ,bet t er t hi ngs,anyway .Idi dn’ tneedt oknowaboutt hi s. “ Theymustbepr act i ci ngf ort hepar adet omor r ow, ” Chr i st i na’ smot hermused. “ Theyhavepar achut er saspar toft hepar ade?”I ’ m notsur ewhyIwassur pr i sed;t hi si st hel andofexcess.I t j ustseemedexor bi t antf orasi mpl ewel comeeventf ort he f i r styear s.Thef l ecksgr ew l ar ger ,enought oseet hei r l oosel i nef or mat i on. “ Yes,t hepar achut i ngt eam per f or msatever yevent . Ever yf oot bal l game. Anyonecanj oi n, ”Chr i st i na’ smot her r epl i ed.Iknew t he i mpl i cat i on ofherr emar k;Icoul d pr act i cal l yseet hepr i deoozi ngoutofherpor es.Andr ew mi ghtj oi n. “ Looksscar y . ”If ol dedmyar msi naf ut i l eat t emptt o 1 6


pr ot ectatl eastsomeofmyski nf r om t heswol l ensun. Thi spl acewasmaki ngmeuncomf or t abl yawar eofmy ownf r agi l i t y . We wat ched t he par achut i ng t eam descend i n si l ence.Ther ewer epr obabl yabout15ofusont het our . Wehadbeent r anspor t edi nonabust hatl ookedl i ke t hose schoolbuses i n Amer i can movi es butpai nt ed whi t e.Wehadt oshowourpasspor t st ot hedr i ver ,l i kewe wer eent er i nganot hercount r y .Isuppose,i naway ,we wer e.Mi newast heonl ypasspor tt hatwasn’ tnavybl ue.I f el t a shock of pat r i ot i sm as I handed i t over . Thef i r stmanwasget t i ngcl osert ot hegr ound, cl oseenought omakeoutt hecol our soft hest r i pesonhi s par achut e.Fort hef i r stt i meInot i cedt hel oosegr oupi ng ofmen on t he f i el d bel ow,ar med wi t h cl i pboar ds, car abi ner s, har nesses, and ot her par apher nal i a. I wonder edi foneoft hem hadaf i r stai dki t .Beyondt he f i el dwasawal lofsquar e,gr eybui l di ngs.Bar r acks,or cl assr ooms.Iwashi twi t ht he r eal i sat i on t hatAndr ew mi ghtbei nsi de,j ustaf ew hundr edmet r esf r om wher eI wasst andi ng.Bl oodr ant omyf aceandmyeyesf i l l ed wi t ht ear s. I dashed t hem away wi t ht he knuckl e ofmyt humb. Thepar achut erswoopedabovet hef i el di nawi de ci r cl e,l i ni ng up t ol and on a mar ked st r i p ofgr ass.“ I swearhe’ sgoi ng t oo f ast , ”Isai d.Chr i st i na r ol l ed her eyes,and,sur e enough,he l anded successf ul l yt oa smat t er i ngofappl ausef r om t het ourgr oup.Ikeptmy ar msf ol ded,wat chi ngasher anacr osst hegr ass,hi s l egs t r yi ng t o keep up wi t h t he speed of hi sbody . 1 7


“ Some oft hem go on t o be r ealpar at r ooper s, ” Chr i st i na’ smot hersai d,“ l i keBi l l .YouknowMrWakef i el d, r i ght ?” “ Yes, ”Ir epl i ed.Hewasaf ami l yf r i endoft hei r s, buthehadbeenmysubst i t ut et eacherf orEngl i shcl ass once.Hesatbehi ndt hedeskandr eadTheI ni mi t abl e Jeeves f ort he ent i r e cl ass per i od whi l e us st udent s wor kedsi l ent l y .It r i edt oi magi nehi m ki l l i nganot herman. “ Hewasst at i onedi nKor ea, ”shecont i nued,her eyesspar kl i ng.Imur mur edpol i t el y . Thenextmanl andedt osl i ght l yr educedappl ause. Il ookedar oundatmycompani ons,f acesupt ur nedt ot he sky ,hypnot i sed byt he sl ow ci r cl esoft he descendi ng men.Thr eet ogo. “ Thi si sact ual l yr eal l ycool , ”Chr i st i naadmi t t ed.I t wasr ar et oseehershowanyki ndofent husi asm,sot hi s washi ghpr ai sebyherst andar ds.Shewast aki ngona si mi l arpost ur et ohermot her :t hef l athandshadi ngt he eyes,t hemout hsl i ght l yopeni nasmi l eofwonder ment .I t ur nedaway . Numbert hr ee hi tt he gr ound,r unni ng i nt hat comi cal l y car t ooni sh way .The l astt wo wer e cl ose enough now t o see t hatt he f i nalman t r ai l ed a l ar ge Amer i canf l agbehi ndhi m,evi dent l yf i xedsomewher eon hi sbody .Thef abr i cr i ppl edi mpr essi vel yacr osst hesky . Despi t e mysel f ,It ookmyphone f r om mypocketand snappedapi ct ur e. “ That ’ st he t eam capt ai n, ” Chr i st i na’ s mot her mur mur edr ever ent l y .Idi dn’ tneedt oaskhow sheknew t hi s.Shehadt akeni tuponher sel ft obecomeanexper t onal lmat t er sr el at i ngt oherson’ sacademy:st udyi ng gui debooks,wat chi ng document ar i es,even j oi ni ng a 1 8


Facebookgr oup ofot hermot her sexci t edl ychat t er i ng aboutt hei rdar l i ngchi l dr enandwonder i ngwhet hert hey wer ehavi ngani cet i me.Thr oughoutt hesummer ,t he academyhadr el easedphot osoft hecadet sbei ngput t hr ough t hei ri nf amous t r ai ni ng r egi me.Atone poi nt , Chr i st i na’ smot herhadt ext edmeapi ct ur eofagr oupof youngmeni ncamouf l age,aski ngi ft hedi sembodi edar m ont hel ef tedgeoft hepi ct ur ecoul dbel ongt oAndr ew.I t ol dhert hatIcoul dn’ tt el l . The penul t i mat e par achut er had l anded,and ever yone’ sat t ent i ont ur nedt ot hef l agcar r yi ngcapt ai n. Oneoft hemenont hegr oundwasappr oachi ngt heend oft hel andi ngst r i p,eyesf i xedont hef i nal mani nt hesky . Hewasl ooki ngathi m wi t hsuchi nt ensi t yt hatIbegant o t hi nksomet hi ngwaswr ong,butt hecapt ai ncont i nued gl i di ngsmoot hl yt owar dst hegr ass.Wor r i ed,Iwr apped myar msar oundmysel f . Thecapt ai ndescendedcl oserandcl oser .Icoul d seet hebuckl esofhi shar ness,t hest r apofhi shel met underhi schi n.The t i psofhi sboot swer e onl ya f ew met r esf r om t hegr asswhent hemanont hegr oundf i nal l y spr ungi nt oact i on.Hespr i nt edt ot hecapt ai n’ ssi de,ar ms out st r et ched.Igasped,l ooki ngf orsomesi gnofi nj ur yon t hepar achut er ,butt hemani nst eadgr abbedf ort hef l ag, whi ski ngi tupi nt ot heai r .Thepar achut eral mostki cked hi mi nt hehead,butt hemanqui ckl ydet achedt hef l ag f r om t hecapt ai n’ sbootandr anawayf r om t hel andi ng st r i p.Thet ourgr oupbur sti nt oappl ause. Thecapt ai nwasf i ne.Themanont hegr oundwas concer ned aboutt he f l ag.He wasn’ tl ooki ng att he capt ai natal l . “ Wasn’ tt hat i mpr essi ve?” Chr i st i na’ s mot her 1 9


ent hused.Chr i st i nanoddedemphat i cal l y . “ I ’ mi mpr essedt heymanagedt oavoi dt ouchi ng t hef l agt ohegr ound, ”Isai d. “ Wel l ,t heyhadt o!I magi nei fi thadt ouchedt he gr ound, ”Chr i st i na’ smot herr epl i ed,chuckl i ng.Igaveher asmal lsmi l e.“ I magi ne”i ndeed. Wi t hal l t hemenont hegr oundandt heexci t ement over ,ourgr oupoft our i st st ur nedawayf r om t hegr ass t owar dst her oadwehadent er edon.Wemar chedback t oourwhi t ebusi nal oosel i net obeusher edononeby one,l i keschool chi l dr en.Thel essonwasover ,andi twas t i met ogohome.

20


ANAMARI AKOEVA


NORTH, SOUTH, I N-BETW EEN . ANNAFREYS

Al lofl i f ei swai t i ng.Somewher eIam st i l l Mondayt uesdayf r i day 一 Igobi l abi ali nyourar ms. Cur lupl i keU l i kewhenyousay“ f uck” andt hevowelbuckl es undersweetwei ghtofunt amedai r br eat hi ngcl eanl ami nabet weenus backsnear cl ose si nceyouhavegr ownt oobi gt of i ti nmyhand. 22


Sunday gr azi ngt hr ought hel and andscabbi ngi tover ever yni ghtagai nagai n Iseeyourf acei nawi ndow adogaf encet hegapsi nt hepavement choki ngont het oot i ghtci t yai r t hewor l dat extt hatr eads Imi ssu andt hepar t sofyout hatdonotf i t I nbi nar yourvowel st ast et hesame col dgl assandpol ycar bonat e andnot hi ngl i ket hegor geous bl i ndi ngt ast eofyourshoul derwhi chi s l i ght onaweekend undone,unf ur l ed,r epr i sed st ucki nyourt hr oatmyt eet hourheads dyadi cl i mbsandski nandsap speaki ngaphasi a Uuuuuuu adf or ever 23


t i a o r n u m Mur

SI EVEBONAI UTI CN:ment i onsofdeat h

I t ' sget t i ngt oocol df ort hegeeseher e,hi smum says, si t t i ngatt het abl e,anunr eadpaperbef or eher ,absent l y si ppi ngf r om amugofcof f ee. G st ar t sput t i ngt hegr ocer i esi nherf r i dge,t hr owi ngaway t hemoul dedEmment al ert hatwasl ef ti ni t .Hehums. Iseet hem f r om mywi ndowupst ai r s,t heyar eal ll eavi ng. G cl osest hef r i dgeandput sawayt hebags.Wel l ,i t ' s al mostaut umn,hesays.Hesi t satt het abl ewi t hherand t akes out hi s phone t o check i ft her e' s any new messages. Yes,butyoushoul dseehow manyt heyar e.Al lsot i dy , setl i ke an ar r ow.And bi r ds can f l y oversuch bi g di st ances f or so much t i me. Over one t housand ki l omet r es.Formont hs,somet i mes. 24


Hi sphonedoesn' tshowanynewmessages. Andyouknow whati ti scal l ed?Whenbi r dsf l yi nt hat ar r ow f or mat i on? Mur mur at i on.As i ft hey wer e al l mur mur i ng,whi sper i ngt oget her . Hi sf r i endsknowhehadhi sf i r stdayatt henewj obt oday . Theyhadt al kedabouti tonSundayni ght ,atAndr ea' s pl ace,overt het eal i ght sandt hecheapwi ne. Theyhadal l wi shedhi m goodl uckandhuggedhi m.Thei rf aceshad beenwar mi nt hedi ml i ght . Nonewmessages. Heshut shi sphoneandshovesi ti nhi spocket .Whenhe l ooks up hi s mum i sl ooki ng athi m wi t h somet hi ng st r angei nhereyes. What ? I magi ne f l yi ng f ormont hsand mont hs,wi t houtget t i ng t i r ed. Het akesupherabandonedmugt owashi t ,t hecof f eei s ver ycol dnow. Onceshehasgonet obed,hepi cksupt heunt ouched papert ot hr ow i tawayandl ooksati t .For t yt wopeopl e dr ownedyest er daywhi l et r yi ngt of l eef r om Li byat oI t al y . Fi veoft hem chi l dr en. 25


Ever yyear ,mor et hanonet housandpeopl edi ecr ossi ng t heMedi t er r aneansea. Eur opeancoastguar dspushboat swi t hr ef ugeesaway f r om Eur opeansoi lorsetpeopl ebackonseawhohad al r eadyr eachedsaf et y . Eur opei nvest smi l l i onsi nt oi t sbor dercont r olagencyt o pr eventr ef ugeesf r om ar r i vi ngi nEur opeandsendt hem backt owhatt heywer eescapi ng. Repat r i at i ont heycal li t .Fr om Lat i n,r epat r i a,goi ngback t oahomel and. Asi ft her ewer emuchofahomel ef tt ogo backt o. Asi ft heycoul ddeci dewher ehomei s. G pr esseshi sl i pst oget herand hol dst he paperver y t i ght l y . Whendi dwest ar tt ot hi nki t ' smor ei mpor t antt okeep bor der ssaf et hanpeopl e? G put st hepaperi nt her ecycl i ngbi n. Howl i t t l ehumanwehavebecome. Hel eavesanot et ohi smum:Whatdoyout hi nkt hebi r ds t el leachot her ,mur mur i ng?

26


Whenhegoesout si de,t heai ri scol dandheshi ver si nhi s shor tsl eevedshi r t .Ar oundhi m,ever yonei sgoi nghome, sl owl yt hewi ndowsal lt ur nyel l ow wi t hl i ghti nt hedar k bl uesky . I t ' sat went ymi nut ewal kf r om hi smum' st ohi spl ace.A st r eett hatgoes f r om t he out ski r t s oft hei rl i t t l et own, t ur ni ngr i ghtatt hel ast Al di ,t hr oughawoodoff i rt r eesand asmal ll ake,upt ot heot herpar toft het own. Heknowst hi spl acet oowel l ,buthei st ooscar edt ogo anywher eel se. Ashewal ks,hef eel sver yl onel yandver ybor ed. When he passes t he l ake,t he wat erl ooks l i ke an upt ur ned pane ofgl ass,cl ouds l ay i ni tas i ft hey’ r e sl eepi ng. Het hi nksofpeopl edr owni ngbet weent hem andhef eel s si ck. Hi sphonepi ngswi t hanewmessage. Howwasurday?Hopei twentok!xxx Overhi m amur mur at i onofbi r dsf l i essout h, unbur dened.�

27


GEORGI EJACKSON

28


LYSWETTENHAM EMI

NDEATHVALLEY DAYI LYHOLI FAMI

Tur ni ngi nt ost at i candnot hi ng butmi l esonsi gnssi gni ngsomet hi ng i nvi si bl easheatmader ed,t i cki ng ast hef i l mr eel i ngr oad,wi ndshi el dscr eeni ng al lsepi aandneon,f astf or war di ng backwar dsi nourJeepT. V. ,beat i ng beneat hi t sXf r ameskel et on,f l at l i ni ng under scor et ot hedust ,t hef uzzi ng– t ur nt her adi oof f–we’ r el i st eni ng l i kesweati nt heai rcondi t i oni ng’ s br eat h,l i ket hewhi t enoi seofai rdi st i l l i ng dust ,i nt hebackIam f i dget i ng i nt oashadow,unr eal i si ng suspensi onsof t enedbumps,gl ossi ng t hr ought hewi ndowgl ass,avi ol et t hi ng,andi ncomi ngr ocksshar peni ng hor i zoni nt oskyl i ne,mar ki ng wher et het hi ckski noft hel andst r et ches DEATHVALLEYAHEAD,headi ng onmyl apt op,t hephot osI ’ m scr eeni ng cr eat i ngsomespace,somet i mesdel et i ng l i t t l econt r ol l edexpl osi ons,t est i ng mymemor y ,t her ear esomet hi ngsneedi ng t obel ef tbehi nd,onef ort her oad,goi ng backi nt ot het r ash,cl i cki ngr ef r esh– Spot i f yof f–f ol di ngandunf ol di ng t ouchi ngt hegl ass,r ed,hot ,pani cki ng t ur nedi nt ost at i c,not hi ng; butt opi ckmysel fup,unst i cki ng myf i ngerf r om t hescr een,l eavi ng asweat i ngpr i nt ,ami stcover i ng t heonewher ewe’ r esmi l i ng It hi nk,t heoneIpr i nt ed? 29


WHENTHE AMAZON WAS ONFI RE

ANAMARI AKOEVA

Ihadj ustf i ni shedmymi ddaycof f ee,whenIr eadt hat Br azi landFr ancear enow pl anni ngt omakeupanew cont i nent .Ikeptr eadi ng. Duet ot hecl i mat echanges,t hear t i cl er eads,Br azi land Fr ancehavedeci dedt ol eavet hei rr espect i vecont i nent s andt of or m anew onei nt hear eaoft heSout hPaci f i c Oceanandt heSout hOcean.Ther eposi t i oni ngoft he count r i es’ t er r i t or i esi sbei ngachi evedaswespeak,asa l at estgener at i onl aseri scut t i ngt hem acr osst hepar al l el s and t he mer i di ans,and t hen,l ayerbyl ayer ,a space f or kl i f tpi ckst hem upandpl acest hem i nr ever seor deri n t hel essi nhabi t edt er r i t or i esoft heUS.Fi r stt heyl i f tt he l ayeroft hebui l tenvi r onment ,t hen–t henat ur all ayerup t ot he deepestpl antr oot s,and t hen – t he geodesi c l ayer s,whi chIknownot hi ngof ,butt her epor t erseemst o knowwhatt heyar et al ki ngabout . 30


I ni t i al l yt heypai dt heUSast or agef ee,butaf t ert henews t r avel l ed t he gl obe,an oppor t uni t yf ort our i sm f or med. Hundr eds oft housands ofpeopl e now under t ake t he cl i mat i cpi l gr i mage–anewexpr essi ondescr i bi nghuman mammal s,who,l i ket hepengui nsandt hepol arbear s nowadays,wal kl ong di st ances.However ,notf ort he pur poseofl ooki ngf orf oodi nt henewcl i mat i ccondi t i ons, butf or f i t ness and ent er t ai nment .As a r esul t ,t he af or ement i oned ar easi nt he US wer e qui ckl ycover ed wi t hpopupshi ppi ngcont ai nerhost el sandot hermodul ar const r uct i ons.Hundr edsofnewwor kpl aceswer ef or med. Pr esi dentTr umpr emi ndedever yoneont heTwi t t erpl ane ofexi st encet hatunderhi sadmi ni st r at i ont heper cent age ofunempl oymenthasbeenl owert hanever .I nanot her t weet ,heannouncedt hathewasgoi ngt odecr easet he r entf orFr ance by20 percent ,butnott hatofBr azi l . Pr esi dentPut i ni mmedi at el ydecl ar edt hathesuppor t s t heBr azi l i ancont i nent al mi gr at i on,andhei nvi t edt hem t o st or et hei rl andi nt hest eppesofRussi a. Onecannow seeonGoogl eMapst hehol esi nSout h Amer i caandt heempt yspacebet weenEur opeandt he UK. A dot t ed l i ne di gi t al l y mar ks t he semi exi st i ng cont i nent . Duet ot hedi spl acement ,somef l i ght swer ecancel l ed, ot her s–r et r aced,butover al lbusi nessar oundt hegl obe cont i nuesasusual .

31


NAYANAPADMANABHAN Iam Nayana.Iam f r om I ndi a.Iam aBhar at nat yam dancer ,Ir ead,wr i t eanddr awwhi l el i st eni ngt oKar nat i k musi c.I ti sanci ent .Iam notso.Thei magesi nent r yar e wr oughtwi t hsymbol sf r om anear i ncompr ehensi bl e i nt er act i onbet weent hesenescenceoft het wo. I nt hepastmont h, Icr ossedoceansf ort hef i r stt i me. Ist ar t edl i vi ngi nt hemet r opol e. Ist ar t edt owi t nessl i nesbei ngdr awn, Mor el i nest hanIhaveseen I never ywhi chway . Somewei ght i ert hant heot her Ther estsur ert hanmost Event hr oughbui l di ngs Bodi es Cl assr ooms Lawns–gr eens,pi eces Chapel s Hal l s Coat s,gowns. Wedohavewor dsf ori t–col oni al i t y ,gender ,posi t i on, pr est i ge,t r adi t i on,r i t ual ,r i t e,andonandonandon: t her hyt hm r ei f i cat i on. It r i edt ol ooki nwar di nst ead.Ihadt ot r yandpl ace mysel f ,somewher ei napi ececut ,al l ocat edf ormeby t hesel i nes.Idr ewmyown,i nasense. 32


mār i amman–off i r e,r ai n, di s eas eandepi demi c s . may be,hopef ul l ypandemi c st oo. dr ewt hi sonewhi l el i s t eni ngt o nenj uk k uneedhi af ewday sago andt heot her ,dur i ngt he f i r s tc or onal oc k down. mār i oft heur( c as t ec ol ony )andoft he c her i ( dal i tc ol ony ) ,i nbet weent het wo. guar di ng.mār i ,amman( mot her )of r es i s t anc e.gr ac i ous l ybeni gn, wr at hf ul l ypr ot ec t i v e.

33


Annot at i ngI r i s CALHEWI TT

[ Not e:Thi sl i t t l e st udy ofmar gi nal i a and t he bor der bet weenwr i t erandr eaderi sbasedonar ealcopyofI r i s Mur doch’ sTheSandcast l e,mar kedupbyaKat hr ynB—, whi ch mymot herboughtf r om a char i t yshop i n 1980. Ther ei s,ofcour se,noevi dencei tpassedt hr oughMs Mur doch’ shands,buti tmi ghthavedone. ]

“ Thi si st hef i r stt i met heyshar easecr et , ”saysKat hr yn. “ Yes,andsodowe, ”saysI r i s. Kat hr yni sr er eadi ng.Herwi ndow i swi deopenont he t wi l i ght .Shecanf eel t hebr eezeandt hepr essur eofabi r o bar r elagai nsthermi ddl ef i nger .How absor bedshehad beent hef i r stt i mer ound!I twasaboutayearago.Saton herbed,t hosef i r stf i vechapt er shadpassedi nani ght . Sof arshehasonl yhi ghl i ght edpassages.Kat hr yndoes notunder l i ne;shemar kswi t ht wof atbl ueast er i sksat ei t herendofaphr ase.Whenshewr i t es,shel eansi nt o t hedeskandf or mst hel et t er ssl owl ywi t hat i ghtsqueeze on t he pen.Herpal m pr i nthas smudged a pr i nt ed par agr aph.The page f l ut t er s under her br eat h.Her al phabeti sgi r l i shl yr ound.Sheomi t sapost r ophes. 34


“ Thosear eal lor i gi ns, ”saysI r i s,“ yes,shehasf oundt he f i r st squi t ewel l .Oh,buthadInotmadei tobvi oust her e wasasecr etal r eady?Coul dsher eal l ynotseet hesecr et i nt hef ol dsoft hear t i st ’ sski r t ?”Wi t habi r oshedoesnot hol d,I r i smakesa r i ng ar ound a sent ence l ong si nce del et edf r om t hef i r stdr af t .Tooobvi ous,t ooobvi ous. * “ Thi si st he f i r stt i me Don shows admi r at i on f orTi m Bur ke, ”saysKat hr yn.I ti st hedaybef or et heeveni ng;t he samepenhasmor ei nki ni t swel l . Asshel eansdownt oannot at e,Kat hr yngl ancest ot he opposi t edesk.Shei smucht oohoti nherj umper .I ti s heavy i nt he school r oom,t he per i od af t erl unch.The school mast erhas puthi sf eetup and r eads f r om an unr el at edt ext .What ’ shername?Fel i ci t y ,Fel i ci t y .Fel i ci t y , ar ow ofbooks open i nf r ontofher ,i s scr at chi ng vi gor ousl y ata page ofnot es.A boyi sh hai r cutf l i ps ar oundherneckasshehopsbet weent hepages. “ Howf ocussedshei s! ”saysKat hr yn,t ur ni ngbackt oher own copy .Kat hr yn had l osther sel ft o a novelon occasi on,butatanessay ,i nanyt askr equi r i ngcr eat i on, t hef eel i ngwasal i ent oher .Shehadt houghther‘ or i gi ns’ i deawasi nspi r ed:secr et s,t heywi l lhaveabegi nni ng; admi r at i on,t hathasabegi nni ngt oo!Hert hought shad st oppedt her e.

35


St r et chi ng her concent r at i on, she t r i es t o f i x her i magi nat i onont hedi nnerscene,wher eMrMormeet st he char mi ng,pr ecoci ousar t i stf ort hef i r stt i me.Poundi ng, sher ecogni zest hef eat ur esi nheri magi nedar t i st ’ sf ace. “ Her eat houghti sunf i ni shed, ”saysI r i s,“ subsi dest oa doodl e,asi fsomet hi ngunmi ssabl ehasdi st r act edher . ” * I ti snear i ngmi dni ght .Fr om adar kext er i ort hebr eezest i l l bl owsi n;Kat hr ynf eel si tont hebackofherbl uest ai ned hands.She has r et r eat ed f r om t he page whi ch sags open, i t s spi ne cr acked. She i s deep i nt hought el sewher e. “ How wonder f uli st hewor l dt hatenwr apsFel i ci t y! ”says Kat hr yn.“ The pai nt er l y spar ki n hert hatmakes her gr appl ef oreachnewpageandspi l li nkf r om hervei ns! ” WhenIt r i edt omakeasandcast l e,t hesandwoul dj ust r unawaybet weenmyf i nger s. “ Ah, ”says I r i s,“ t hatone.I twas ofcour se noton a Medi t er r aneanbeachwher et hatcamet ome,butEngl i sh sands–Dor set ,wasi t ?–Engl i shsandscanbet hei rown pi g. ”Wi t hhermi nd’ sbi r oshedoodl est heor i gi nalpage, t hemot herl eaf :t hatonephr aseoni tandnot hi ngel se. “ Byt het hi r dnovel evenyouar enotsur et hatt her estwi l l come.Howl ongIspentl ooki ngatt hatsent ence,bef or eI coul dwr apast or yr oundi t ! ” 36


“ Oh,Fel i ci t ywi l lmakeacast l e, ”saysKat hr yn.“ I twi l ll ast t her ebehi ndherwhenhersett akeherof fel sewher e. The peaki ngt i dewi l ll apr espect f ul l yi t sr ampar t s,onl yser ve t of r amei tbet t er .I ’ l lst ay–wat chi ngi tasIwat chedher bui l di t ,kneel i ng on my heel s,f i l l i ng my bucketand t appi ngt het opever sogent l yasmypi l edi si nt egr at es agai n.I ’ l l si tt her ef or everunt i l mypar ent scol l ectmeand dr agmeaway . ” Kat hr ynwoul dhavesett hi sspeecht opaper ,butshei s r est l essi nt heheat .Herpi nchi nghandaches.Shecan hearherhear ti nt hest i l lsummerni ght .Sheunder l i nes t hesent enceandsnapst hebookshut . “ Andher eoni t ’ sj ustmor eunder l i ni ngi nadi f f er entpen, ” says I r i s.“ A di f f er entday .Revi si ng f ort he exam,I suppose.Iwonderwhatshemadeofi t .Di dshef i ndt he r ealor i gi n phr ase? Idoubti t :see her e how she has col our edi nt heOs.Whatachi l d!Butoh,howIal mostf el l f ort hatchi l di shhand. ” Leavi ngopent hewi ndowandcur t ai ns,Kat hr ynt ur nsout t hel i ght . AndevenasIpour edseawat eroveri t ,t hesunwoul ddr y i tupatonce.●

37


Wher ewel i ve ZOESMI TH

Look whent hegr oundi sl i ket hi s howsheeri ti s i nt hepl acewher ewepr ess ourear sagai nstt het r ees t oheart hem t al k. Ther ei sasmal lgapi nt hef ence andIt hi nki ti senough t osl i pahur r i ednot et hr oughort r ap ahandandcl ai m af i ngerort wo LastIhear d agi r lwascaught bet weent hewi r es butcoul dnott al ksoshewast aken Butsi nce t her ei snousef orpi t yorf ear t her ei snousef orf eel i ng.I nst ead wewi l ll ockourdoor sandwai tf orsomet hi ng good. Or ,f ai l i ngt hat ,atl eastsomet hi ng t hatwi l lknockt hedoor sdown.

38


XAVI ERHAENDLER 39


THREADS

ELI ANETHOMASTEMMET

Sl owl y ,sl owl yt owar dst hef ul lst op. Ir emembert hef acet hatl eavest het r ai n;shei sf r om mypast . Herf eetmovedeci si vel y ,wi t hasmuchconvi ct i onas r esi desi nherst er nl yf ur r owedeyebr ows Al ongawashi ngl i net hatspansal loft hi sf or ei gn gr ound.Host i l egr ound?Shei snoti nt i mi dat ed,or ,at l east ,shedoesaver yf i nej obofhi di ngal lemot i on behi ndt hatst eel ydet er mi nat i on. Wher ei sshesoseton?Thi st r ai ni st ocont i nue Whysett r acksf ur t heri ft hi swer et heendst op? 40


Weshoul dcont i nue,butwear egazi ngatt hi sgi r l gai ni ngdi st ancef r om usbyt hesecond.Eveni fher det er mi nat i oni r r i t at es,atl eastshehaschosenherf at e. Whatdowedo?Wesi t .Wej ustwat ch. Nowwear emovi ngt oo,behi ndher ,t r yi ngt ocat chup. Al lar ound,t hr eadsappear( orar et heyr i bbons?)–t hi n, br i ghtr edl i nes. Acl ot hespegi sski ppi ngdownt hewashi ngl i ne.I tmust havedet achedi t sel ff r om i t scust omar yspot ,havi ng sensedi nt r usi on.Thepegi shur r yi ngt ocat chup,t oo.I t movesf ast ert hanwedo,butt henagai n,t hi si snot f or ei gngr oundf oracl ot hespeg. Thegi r lst ampseachf ooti nt ot heear t h.Herf oot st eps ar ecoar se;t heear t hi sbar r enanddr y . Ther eshoul dbesound,shoul dt her enot ?Butwe assumecont actbet weenherf eetandt hi sgr ound;t her e i snoaudi oevi dence. Youcannotl ookf ort oomuchpr eci si on.Ther ei sno t i me,weshoul dbemovi ng.Notwi t ht het r ai nanymor e, butt r ai l i ngbehi ndt hef i r stgi r landt hepegt hati snow bobbi ngal ongsi deher .I tseemst omakeper f ectsense t hatt hi si snowt hei mper at i vecour se.

41


SI EVEBONAI UTI 42


HELENAand HERMI A

ALEXHAYDNWI LLI AMS

They ’ v ebeens i t t i ngi nt hebor deroft het hi r dt apes t r yi nHampt on

Cour tPal ac e’ sGr eatHal l f orhundr edsofy ear s ,l ook i nggayashel l . Amongal l t heot heral l egor i c al v i r t uess ur r oundi ngas c enef r om t he l i f eof Abr aham — Chas t i t yandPat i enc eandFi del i t y ,y ouk now,t he bor i ngones— ar et woandr ogy nous ,c ur l y hai r edy oungmenc ar es s i ngoneanot her ’ shands .‘ AMORPROXI MI ’ ,pr oc l ai mst hec apt i on,meani ng‘ br ot her l yl ov e’ andmi s s i ngt hemar kal mos tasbadl y ast hebl ac k andwhi t epos t c ar dIboughtatt hePhot ogr apher ’ sGal l er yl as ts ummerl abel l ed‘ Os c arWi l deandaf r i end’ . Shak es pear e’ sc ompanyper f or medA Mi ds ummerNi ght ’ sDr eam f ort heas s embl edc our ti nt hi shal l atChr i s t masi n1603.Boy ac t or s wi t hhi ghv oi c esandagi r l yl ookwoul dhav epl ay edHel enaand Her mi a as t hey des c r i be t hei r ~~v er y good f r i ends hi p~~ We,Her mi a,l i k et woar t i f i c i al gods , Hav ewi t hourneedl esc r eat edbot honef l ower , Bot honones ampl er ,s i t t i ngononec us hi on, Bot hwar bl i ngofones ong,bot hi nonek ey , Asi fourhands ,ours i des ,v oi c esandmi nds Hadbeeni nc or por at e. Youc ani magi net hes et woy oungwomen— daught er sofAt heni an c our t i er s— s i t t i ngi noneoft hepal ac e’ swi ndows i l l sands ewi ngon t hes ames ampl er ;t hei rhandsget t i ngc l os er ,t ouc hi ng;as ur pr i s ed gl anc e;ak nowi ngl ook ;as ong. 45


T oanyot herc har ac t er si nt hepl ay wor l d,i t ’ dl ookl i k et wof r i ends and t hei rs i s t er l yl ov e.I n per f or manc e,t oo,i t ’ s eas i l y mi s s ed, hi dden i n an angr ys peec hc as t i gat i ng Her mi af orabandoni ng f emal er el at i ons hi ps .Butt ot hepeopl ewhok new— t oHel enaand Her mi a,t o anys ec r et l ybi s ex ualc our t i er swat c hi ng,per hapst o Shak es pear ehi ms el f— t hei rdes i r ei spl ai nasday .I t ’ shar dt opl ac e anex ac tmomenti nt het ex twher et heys ay‘ wef anc i edeac hot her ’ , buti fy ou’ v eev erf el tt hedeep,ac hyl ongi ngt hatc omeswhent he s t r ai ghtwor l dc as t si t ss hadow ov ery ourf i r s tgayc r us h,y ouj us t k now.T os t r ai ghtpeopl e,t hi sl es bi anhear t br eaki samar gi nalel ementoft het ex t ;f orqueerpeopl e,i t ’ sbas i c al l yt heent i r emeani ng. I n herbookLes bi an Pr emoder n,t he medi ev al i s tAnna Las k ay a t hi nk saboutChauc er ’ s‘ Mer c hant ’ sT al e’ ,t hes t or yofabawdyl ov e t r i angl e— andpr obabl yt hes t r ai ght es ts t or yev erwr i t t en— Whati fwei magi neawomanr eadi ngt hi sepi s odeal oudt oas mal l gat her i ngofpeopl et hati nc l udesac l os ef emal ef r i end,ones he l ov esf armor et hans hel ov esherhus band,oronewi t hwhom s he hasac t ual l yhads ex ualc ont ac t ?Thet wooft hem,undert hev ei lof t hehet er os ex ual t ex t ,k now,j us tbyey ec ont ac t ,adi f f er enti nt er pr et at i onoft het al e,ani nt er pr et at i ont hatc r eat esal es bi anr eadi ngof t heJ anuar y May Dami ant ex t ,ani nt er pr et at i ont hatr ec ogni s est he waywor dsandt hepowerofot herpeopl e’ sbl i ndnes s espr ot ec t t r ans gr es s i v el ov e. Canwedot hes ame,t hi nk i ngaboutt hatc os yni ghtdeepi nt hef i r s t Dec emberofJ amesI ’ sr ei gn?Thenat ur eofwhats ur v i v esmeans wec an’ tpoi ntt oanys pec i f i cs onnet st hatqueerc our t i er swr ot e. 46


Buti ts eemspr of oundl yunl i k el yt hatnol ady i nwai t i ngev erl ook ed atanot herwoman' sc er us ebl us hedf ac eandt houghti tbeaut i f ul . Thatl es bi andes i r ei smar gi nal ,hi ddeni nt hel i t er at ur e,buti twas t her e. Mar gi nsar eal l t ooof t enas y mbol ofoppr es s i on:queerl ov ei s‘ r el egat ed’ t ot hem,queerpeopl ear e‘ f or c ed’ i nt ot hem.Butbei ngmar gi naldoes n’ tmeant hatwedi dn’ tex i s t ;i tmeantwewer epr es ent , buts af e. Ast heDr eam wasac t edont hedaï s ,per hapsas qui r ewhodi dn’ t f eel athomei nt hec l ot hest heyhadt owearl ook edatHel ena,mal e andf emal eandnei t her ,andt ooks t r engt h,whi l eont heot hers i deof t hebanquet ,aCount es shear dt hos el i nesands mi l edatt hegi r l s he madel ov et oev er yni ght ,herhus bandt oherr i ght ,obl i v i ous .Wat c hi ngov ert hepl ay ,t woandr ogy nousf i gur eshel deac hot hert i ght , f r oz eni nt hemomentwhenl ongi ngbec amet ouc h.Fr om t her i ght angl e,y ouc oul dhav es eenal lt hes et hi ngshappeni ngatonc e, s pot t edt hedeepr oot edqueerpr es enc ewov ent hr ought hehear tof power . Thatni ght ,asmi s t l et oebl oomedi nt hebar et r ees ,andc andl el i ght wi nk edont het apes t r y ’ sgol dent hr eads ,ar tandl i f edi dn’ ts eem t oo di f f er ent .I twasac ar ni v al dayonl yv i s i bl ei nr ai nbowt i nt edgl as s es , wher equeerc our t i er si nhabi t edas t at et hepoetMar yJ eanChan c al l s‘ pl ay t i me’ , wher et i medi s s ol v esandt her ei sonl ybei ng,br eat h,andt he my r i adofl anguagesweal l owour s el v est oi nhabi tands peak . 47


48

LUCYHOWI E


49


ALOLI KAA.DUTTA

CN:ment i onsofdeat h,i nt er gener at i onal t r auma

Al ongt hemi ddl eofhers c al p wher es hedr awshermaang wi t ht hepoi nt edt i pofawooden c ombi sav er mi l i ongor get hats epar at es herk es hi nt ot wohal v es . I nt hemor ni ngas t r eam ofmedi t er r anean wat erf l owst hr ought hegor get oemer ge f r om t hes i desofhernec k ani s t hmust hatopensi nt ohers houl der s ar i dget hats epar at est hehi l l s l opes ofherbr eas t sandupperbac k . Fl owi ngac r os spec t or al pl at eaus anddor s al pl ai nsweat her ed ov ert hey ear st hes t r eam meet s t r i but ar i esanddr ai nsi nt obay s ofs weatt hats oak i nt ohermul mul bl ous e. 50

STRI AL/THELANDI SHUMAN

THEBODYI STERRE


Herbody ,v as tandai l i ng,i st er r es t r i al ; t hes hr i v el l i ngbas i noft heGanga t hatf l owsf r om t hemout h ofGangot r i bor der edbyt heHi mal ay as t ot henor t handt heVi ndhy ast ot hes out h r ec ei v i ngf r om r i v er sac r os sel ev en s t at est r av er s i ngt hes ov er ei gnl ands off ourc ount r i est odr ai ni nt ot heI ndi an oc eanf r om t heBayofBengal . Thewat ert hatr emai ns i nr i v ul et sandbr ook sf eeds t hel andbeneat ht heas phal t— i nmemor yoft hedi s pl ac edi nmemor y oft hes c hedul edi nmemor yof t hedead. Underherey esbl ac k l i k es ootar ef ol dsofl oos es k i nwi t hnar r ow l i nesofk ohl pas s i ngt hr ought hem. Whens her et ur nsf r om t hek i t c hen t hel i neshav er eac hedt hec or ner s ofherey esl i k et hedi s eas et hati s c l ai mi ngherbodys pr eadi ng f r om c el l t oc el l c our s i ng t hr oughherc api l l ar i es .

51


I nt heaf t er noons hes i ngsअर प ा प र ै ी t ert wot r i but ar i es के धा र— namedaf oft heMahanadi t hatwat er st hef i el ds ofChhat t i s gar hpour i ngi nt ot hemout hs off ar mer sandwor k er sal i k e. Whent hes ongr eac hesद र ु गब ू स त ् रस ो ह य — ac har c oal r i v er प जन ै ि य ा ँ न ा द ं ग ा वन ं व ा कर धन ि य ा f l owsdownt het er r ac edpaddyf i el ds ofherf ac ear oundl oopsofs aggi ng s k i ni nt ot henar r owopeni ng ofhermout h; herf ac ei snotapaddyf i el d,herf ac ei sac oal mi ne. Ther i v eri sLi l agarf l owi ng ov ert hel i psofi t sbank s f l oodi ngi nt ot heDi pk ami ne i nKor ba.Shek nowsKor ba s hek nowsKor babet t ert hanherf ac e. Wher ei sKor ba? Kor bai swher et her i v er s hav ebl oodi nt hem wher et her ot i sar ec oat ed wi t has handwher e t hes oi l s mel l soft ar . 52


Kor bai swher et hey oung s l eept ot hes oundofr oc k s bl as t i ngandmac hi nes s c r api ngt hes k i n ar oundt hei rt empl es . Kor bai swher et heyf r ac t ur ed t hehomesoft headi v as i st os t eal c oal i nt hemi ddl eoft heni ght . Kor bai swher et heyk i l l ed herpeopl ef ort hei rl and. Herbody ,ol dandnat i v e,i st er r es t r i al ; as al t r eei nt hef or es t s ofHas deoAr andt hatwi l l bef el l ed byt hemi ni ngc ompany . Las taf t er noons hel ef tt her oom ast hec hai r manoft hec ompany s pok et oar epor t er .Shedoes notunder s t andEngl i s h; gr eedi sav i s i bl ei l l nes s . Shek nowst hef ac eofgr eed:c oal l eak i ngf r om t hec or ner sofhi sey es hi snos t r i l sandhi sear s .

53


Shek nowst hes oundofgr eed:auger s dr i l l i ngi nt ot hegr ounddr i l l i ng i nt oherf l es ht or eac ht oherhear t ; orc oal s eepi ngi nt ohi smout h c ol l ec t i ngunderhi st ongue hec annotpr onounc eSur guj a orBi j apurorSuk mat hewayherpeopl edo. Shek nowst hes mel l ofgr eed:ni c k el andc ot t onongr eas edpal ms . Shek nowsSudha k nowst hepeopl e ofChhat t i s gar hk now— t hemenwhos t ol ef r om t hem,andt hemenwhowi l l . Fr om herear shangt wopl at es ofgi l att heKar anphul ear r i ngs s her ec ei v edf r om hermot her i nl aw andf r om hernec khangsat hi n Has l i as t i f fc hai nofs i l v er t hathasmadei ndent at i onsonhers k i n andar oundherf i nger sar e r i ngsi ns c r i bedwi t hdev anagar i ; al l oft hes ewei gh bet weens ev ent yt oahundr edgr ams ; t heywei ghherdown t heybr i ngherc l os er t ot hemot her . 54


I nt heev eni ngs hek eeps herr i ngsont hegr ani t ec ount er t omak ec hawal k i r ot i .Shes i nk s herf i nger si nt oapar att ok nead ar i c ef l ourdought hats l i ps underhernai l sl i k es and ont her i v er bedsofSon l i k ear i v ert hathass unk s i xf eets i nc et hec ompanys t ar t edmi ni ng. Whomi nes ? Thewor k er swhol os t t hei rf ami l i esandt hei r f or es t st oer odi ngbank s . Whol abour s ? Thef ar mer swhol os t t hei rf i el ds . Whatf or ? Themoneyt hatc annot payt hemoneyt hatdoes notat t emptt o. Herbody ,mat er nal andv ol at i l e,i st er r es t r i al ; i tgr ows ,i ts pr eads ,i tweat her s ,i tbends ,i t s hr i nk s ,i tbur ns ,i tt hi ns ,i ts l ows ,i tc hanges s hape,i tc hangesc our s e,i tc hangesc ol our ,i t ages ,andi tdi es . Herbody ,ourbodi es ,ar et er r es t r i al . Herl and,ourl and,i shuman.

55


56

ALEXVARDI LL


57


CALLI NG THROUGH THE LAKE FOG

ARCHI EHAMERTON

Thedeci si ont oski pschool br i ngsusl akesi de,satont hej et t y i near l ymor ni ngunl i ght , f l ankt of l anki nt ent at i veadj acence. Thej et t yi sl akedamp,sof t , andner vousf i nger sseton har ml essadol escentdest r uct i onf i dget andeasei tapar tdef t l y ,sof t r otwood br eaki ngawayi nt ot heunr el ent i ngbl ack oft hewat er ,l i kemeatf r om aboi l edbone

58

Theysayi fonel ookshar denough onl akesl i ket heseonecansee t hecur veoft heear t h.Theysayt oo whent hewi ndst i l l sonel ongsungnot e canbehear df aroveront heot hershor e. Isi ng— voi cebr okenandunembar r assed— andhopet obehear dbysai l or s,byGod, byt woboyssatont hel i t t or alcusp, l i st eni ngunseenont heot hersi de


GEORGI EJACKSON

59


WI LLYWONKA’ S CHEESEFACTORY CATEHORNE

Wi l l yWonka' sCheese Fact or yhasa gr i my whi t echi mney ,andf r om t her oundabout ,next t ot hesi gnannounci ng½ ami l ehome,al i t t l e gi r lgr i ns and wr i ggl es agai nstherseat bel t wheneversheseesi t . I tl i vesi nt he½ mi l ewher eal lt hebat t er ed concr et el i ves.Thecart akest het ur nof ft he r oundabout ,Ar oadt oB.I tmakessenset hat t het ownsf ol kmut t er :t hechi mneyi sal ways t hef i r stoft hem t ogr eetvi si t or s,st andi ngwi t h asol i dgr i maceandseemi ngqui t eunawar eof how unwel comi ngi ti s( t oal lbutt hemosti magi nat i ve) . Theadul t shavet r i edt hei rbestt odi st r actf r om i t .Thesi gndecl ar i ngt hest ar toft hei rhi st or i c mar kett own i sr i gged above gr ani t ef l ower pot st obl oom wi t hdaf f odi l seachMar ch;t he si gni t sel fi sagr andaf f ai r ,sever al squar ef eet ofsheetmet al ,pr i nt ed wi t h a phot o oft he chur chonasunnyday . 60


Fori nt r i gue,t hough,t het ownsf ol kcan' tcompet e. Ast heydr i veby ,t hel i t t l egi r l i gnor est he yel l ow f l ower sf ort hebr i ght eryel l ow post er s ont hegat es.Shecount st hem,woveni nt o t wi st edwi r eandpadl ocks,andt hei rnumber gr owswi t ht i me.Thet ownsf ol khavel ostt hei r pat i encewi t ht hef act or y ,butt hechi mneyout gr owst het r eesandout l ast st hechai nswi t h admi r abl eper si st ence. Shesi t sbacki nherseatoncet heypassby , neverst oppi ngorseei ngbeyondt hebr ambl edhedgesandsi ngl ewat chf ult ower .The pl ace i s chi l l y ,t hey say ,butt he col d can’ t seem t openet r at et hepi nkpat t er ned car di gansshewear s.

61


YOUGOTOLDER SI NCEISAW YOU LAST SAULBARRETT

Gr andf at herhugshi msel fi nt heyel l owdoor way Agr i maceonhi sf ace Gobbl edupal lt heni bbl esandnowmyt hi ghsar ecol d Soonsunset ’ smel t edi nt odar knessandIam l ooki ng atapi xel at edgr andf at herl ooki ngbackatme. Fi xmyeyesonhi sandl i st enandmaket her i ghtnoi ses.

62


SOPHI ETRAN

63


SOPHI EBECKI NGHAM ASHORTSTAY

Not e:( Thi s )pi ec ewasdonef r om ar oom Is t ay edi nona s hor tbr eakdur i ngt hepandemi c–t hef i r s tt i meIhadbeen awayi n6mont hs . 64


MARY’ SGONE HERLI VI NG ROOM

CN:Ment i onofdeat h Not e:Fr om as er i est i t l ed' Mar y ' sGone' whi c hwasdonef r om phot ogr aphsofmygr andmot her ' shous eaf t erherpas s i ng.

65


Li vi ngRoom Cubi sm KAROLI NAFI LOVA

Inev err eal l yl i k edpi c t ur ef r ames .Iwoul dof t eni magi nemy s el f eat i ngt hem,asac hi l d,butInev erappr ec i at edt hewayt hey hel d a pai nt i ng i n pl ac e, c onf i ned i t s c ol our s and t ex t ur eswi t hi nr i gi dboundar i es ,di s t r ac t edt heey ef r om t he c anv as .Idi dn’ tl i k et hewayonec oul dj us tpi c kapai nt i ngupby i t sf r ame;i ts houl dn’ tbe t hateas yt o mov e a whol e wor l d ar ound,s ur el yi ts houl dn’ t .St i l l ,Ic oul dn’ tr es i s t— t hemor e dec or at i v et hef r ame,t hemor e appet i s i ngi tl ook edt ome.I f onl yIdar ed c ome a l i t t l ec l os er !The f r ame’ sgol den gl os s woul dt as t el i k ei c i ng,Iwass ur eoft hat ,andt hent hec ar v edor nament swoul dc r ac kundert hepr es s ur eofmyt eet hl i k ec hoc ol at eandI ’ ds i nki nt ot hec r eamys of t nes sofc ar amel ,ort r uf f l es ,beneat ht he s ur f ac e.Yes ,pi c t ur ef r amesawak ened a des i r ewi t hi nmet hatnot hi ngel s ec oul dequal ,butInev err eal l y l i k edt hem. Ias k edmyt eac heronc e,onas c hoolt r i pt oagal l er y ,whyal l t hepi c t ur eshadf r amesar ound t hem.I twasaTues day .We wer e wal k i ng t hr ough an ex hi bi t i on wi t h doz ens of19t h c ent ur y Fr enc hl ands c apes ,andal t houghIhadnoi deaabout c ent ur i es or f or ei gn c ount r i es or , i ndeed, l ands c apesatt he t i me,Ic oul ds ee c l ear l yt hatt he pi c t ur e f r ameswer ev i l e.Al loft hem t hi c k ,c hunk y ,heav i l ydec or at ed, pai nt edgol den.

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Somewer el i nedwi t hoakl eav es ,asi fpi c k edupi naut umnby t hek i ngwhoc hangedev er y t hi nghet ouc hedi nt ogol d,s ome t wi r l edwi t hc r es t sands pi r al s ,ands omec uti ns t r ai ghtl i nes , butnoneoft hem wer es uppos edt obet her e.Myc l as s mat es di dn’ ts eem t oobot her edbyt hef r ames ’ pr es enc e;i ft her ewas s omet hi ngont hei rmi nds ,i twasal unc hbox ,abac k pac k ,a c l oak r oom,aj our neyhome. Af t erIas k edmyques t i on,myt eac herf i r s tl ook edatmes c or nf ul l y . Ther e was no t al k i ng al oud at t he gal l er y , onl y whi s per i ng.We’ dgonet hr ought hati nt hec l as s r oom,s ev er al t i mes , not al k i ngal oud,not al k i ngal oudatt hegal l er y ,c hi l dr en,s oIs houl dhav ek nownbet t er .Af t ert hat ,s hel ook edat me wi t hc ompas s i on,and k nel tdown l i k e adul t sdo when t hey ’ r e aboutt os ays omet hi ngpr of ound,andt ol dmeIs houl d i ns t ead be l ook i ng att he pai nt i ngs t hems el v es .So Idi d. Ther ewer eboat sont hem,andhar bour s ,ands eas hor es ,and t i nyoc eanwav est hats pl as hedabouti nboi s t er ouss t or ms .I wass ur et hewav eswoul ds pi l lr i ghtoutoft hec anv as s es ,i f onl yt heywer en’ tt r appedi ns i debyf r ames .I ’ dnev erv i s i t edt he s eas i de bef or e,s o Iempl oy ed al lmypot ent i alt el ek i nes i s power st owi l l t hewat ers pi l l out .Iwant ed t ot as t ei t .Seawat er wass os al t yt hatmyl i pswoul df eelj us tasnumbasaf t er eat i ng popc or n att he c i nema,my f r i ends had t ol d me. Ic oul dn’ tpr ov ei tf ormy s el f ,noton t hatday ,notatt hat gal l er y .

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Thatev eni ng,pi c k i ngatas t eami ngpl at eofmas hedpot at oes , It ol dmypar ent st hatt he f r amesatt hepi c t ur egal l er yhad l ook edt as t y .Theybot hpaus edandey edmec aut i ous l y .Had I j us ti mpl i ed t hatourown di nnerwas f arf r om pal at abl e? I tmayhav es eemedt hatway ,j udgi ngbymywor dsal one,but myex pr es s i onmus thav ebeens oi nnoc ent ,s omat t er of f ac t , t hatmypar ent sdec i dedt os mi l eatme. Theyas k edwhathadmadet hepi c t ur ef r amess oappet i s i ngt o me,andIs hr uggedmys houl der sbec aus eIc oul dn’ tqui t eex pl ai nt hes weets hopl ur eoft hegol denc ar v i ngs ,andt hen nobodys ai dany t hi ngf orawhi l e— unt i l Ibr ok et hes i l enc eby as k i ng,f ort hes ec ondt i met hatday ,whypi c t ur eshadf r ames ar oundt hem atal l . Needl es st os ay ,mypar ent sdi dn’ tans wermyques t i on,and mos tl i k el yc oul dn’ tdo i tev en i ft hey t r i ed.J us tl i k e my t eac her ,t hey as k ed me i ns t ead about t he Pi c t ur es Thems el v es ,ands o Ides c r i bedal lt hepeac ef ulbeac hesI s aw,al lofBoudi n’ sl onev es s el sandhar bour si nhabi t edby pol i s heds ai l boat s ,al l t hes hr ubsandc l oudsandbl ur r yf i gur es c l ad i n ol df as hi oned dr es s es , wai t i ng f or a di s t ant , appr oac hi ng v es s el .Imus thav e des c r i bed t he Pi c t ur es Thems el v es wel l ,f ors oon af t ert he mas hed pot at oes ,my par ent st ookmet ot hats ame ex hi bi t i onagai n.Thatwason Sat ur day .

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Ir eadi naps y c hol ogybook ,af ewy ear sl at er ,t hatt hemor e of t eny ous ees omet hi ng,t he mor ey out endt ol i k ei t ,buti t s t r uc kmeass t r angebec aus e,att hev er yl eas t ,i tdi dn’ twor k f orme and l ands c ape pai nt i ngs .Des pi t ev i s i t i ng Boudi n t wi c e,and l at erat t endi ng a numberofot herl onggonec ent ur y ex hi bi t i ons ,Inev erdev el oped a pas s i on f ort he meek nes s ,t he f oggi nes sofol dl ands c apes ,andasf ort hei r f r ames— Is t ar t edav oi di ngex hi bi t i onsand mus eumst hat t hr eat enedt oex pos emet ot het empt at i on.Thr oughoutmy whol el i f et hei rf r amesr emai nedj us tasappet i s i ng,andat t hes amet i mej us tasr ev ol t i ng,aswhenIf i r s ts aw t hem.I t hi nki tonl ymak ess ens e,t hen,t hatt hepai nt i ngIhungonmy l i v i ngr oom wal ls ome t went yy ear sl at erwasf arf r om r eal i s t i c ,andf arf r om f r amed. I t st i t l ewasoddl yf i t t i ng.Is ay‘ oddl y ’bec aus e,des pi t et he f ac tt hat( a)not hi ngaboutt he c anv ass eemeds t i l land( b)i t s eemeddi f f i c ul tt odi s t i ngui s hanys or tofani mal swi t hi ni t s br us hs t r ok es ,att hev er yf i r s ts i ghtofi tIk new i tc oul dn’ tbe t i t l edany t hi ngbutSt i l l Li f ewi t hWal k i ngFi s h. Thewomanwhos ol di tt ome,t hepai nt er ’ sgr anddaught er , ex pl ai nedt hatt hewal k i ngf i s hi nques t i onwer eax ol ot l s ,amphi bi ansr el at edt os al amander s ,or i gi nal l yf oundi nv ar i ous l ak esi nMex i c o,andt hens mi l edatandmet ol dmeaboutt he Par adox :t hepai nt er hi ms el fc oul dnev erhav es eenr eal ax ol ot l s ,f or t he pai nt er hi ms el fhad nev er v i s i t ed t he Amer i c as .

69


Hebar el yev enl ef thi sbi r t ht own,api c t ur es ques et t l ementi n Cent r al Eur opet hat ,dur i ngt he20t hc ent ur y ,c hangedi t sname asof t enast hec ount r yi tbel ongedt o. Youwoul dn’ tk now t hepai nt er ,butt hatmak eshi sar tal lt he mor ev al uabl e,s her eas s ur edme.Heonl ypai nt edas i ngl e c anv asi nhi sl i f e,t heSt i l lLi f ewi t hWal k i ngFi s h,andi tt ook hi m bet weent heaut umnof1938ands ummerof1939t odos o. Henev erj oi nedt hegr eatnamesoft hei nt er warper i od,nev er of f i c i al l yc ont r i but edhi ss har et ot hedev el opmentofmoder n pai nt i ng,nev erex hi bi t ed among Št y r s k ý and Kubi š t a and Čapeki nt hegal l er i esofPr ague,buthi sc ubi s m wasoneofa k i nd.Henev erv i s i t edt heAmer i c as ,buthe’ ds eenpi c t ur esof ax ol ot l s .Hegotpr os ec ut edbec aus ehi spai nt i ngwast ak enas a pr ot es t agai ns t t he Naz i oc c upat i on of t he Sudet enl and,whi c h was s t r ange,t he woman ex pl ai ned, bec aus ehe nev erev ens har edhi spai nt i ngwi t hany body . TheSt i l lLi f ewi t hWal k i ngFi s hs pok et ome.Ik new asmuc h f r om t hemomentIent er edt he f l eamar k et ,andIwasr eadyt o payanypr i c eIwasc apabl eofpay i ng.Thepai nt er ’ swayof per c ei v i ngt hewor l d,hi sdepi c t i onofr eal i t y ,wasev er y t hi ngI ’ d ev erl ook edf or .I nas i ngl e pai nt i ng,heanal y s edapi ec eoft he wor l dt hatmi ghtaswel lhav ebeent hewhol euni v er s e,br ok e i tup,pi c k edi tapar tandr eas s embl edi t ,abs t r ac t ed,f arbey ond or di nar yc ompr ehens i on.

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Ionl yhadoneques t i onf ort hepai nt er ’ sgr anddaught er ,and s oIas k ed:“ Coul dy oupl eas er emov et hepai nt i ngf r om i t s f r ame?” Shef r ownedherf or ehead,nar r owedherey es ,huggedher ar msar oundherbodypr ot ec t i v el y . “ Bet t ernother e, ”herv oi c ewav er ed,“ butdoasy ouwi s h wheny ouar es af eathome. ” Wi t ht hat ,t he pai nt er ’ s gr anddaught er t ook my money , wr appedt heSt i l lLi f ewi t hWal k i ng Fi s hi nt ot oughbr own paperanddi s appear edi nt ot hi nai r .Ic oul dhav ewonder ed whats he wasdoi ngatt hef l eamar k et ,whys hewass el l i ng t hel as tr emai nsofhergr andf at hert oas t r anger ,butIc oul dn’ t f oc usonany t hi ngbutt hehur r ybac khome,t omyl i v i ngr oom. Theax ol ot l swer et her e,c l earasday !Inot i c edt hem ass oon asIpr i edt hec anv asf r om i t sf r ame,hammer edanai l i nt omy wal l ,hungt hepai nt i ngup,ands pents omet i mes huf f l i ngi t andr eadj us t i ngi tunt i li twass t r ai ght .It ookgr eatc ar e,of c our s e,s ot hatIwoul dn’ tdamageany t hi ngi nt hepr oc es s , and myl i v i ng r oom wat c hed asIc l ot hed i t sbl ank nes si n br andnew c ol our s . ThenIt ookas t epbac k .Sur el yenough,t houghal lt r i angl es and s quar es and s hapes l i k es har ds ofgl as s ,t hough di s t or t ed and bur s t i ng wi t h abs t r ac t i on, t her e wer e undoubt edl y ax ol ot l shi ddenwi t hi nt hepai nt i ng’ st wi s t sand bends — pal e pi nk f l es hi n one s pot ,bus hy gi l l s ,an unbl i nk i ngey e.

71


Pec ul i ar ,t al onl i k el i mbs ,per c hedandpr epar ed.Theywer e s i l ent ,butnoti nv i s i bl e,notev en i nt he s war m ofpas t el c ol our s . Thenoneoft heax ol ot l sj umpedoutatme,andt hat ’ show i t began.Idi dn’ ts eei tc omi ng;ev er y t hi ngs eemedpr ec i s el ys t i l l unt i lt hemomentwhent hepai nt i ngc amet ol i f e.Per hapsa gl eam ofwhatwas t oc ome f l as hed t hr ough one oft he pai nt i ng’ sey esbef or ei thappened,but f ort hebi gpi c t ur eI f ai l edt onot i c es uc hdet ai l s .Thuswi t houtanywar ni ng,t he c ons t ant l yt r ans f or mi ngbodyofawal k i ngf i s h,bl ur r edy et s har p,ungr as pabl ey etmeat y ,s pr angi nt o myf i el dofv i s i on. I tc r as heddi r ec t l yi nt omyf ac e,notev enal l owi ngmet obl i nk , andt hen t hepai nts c at t er edi nt oami l l i onmor epi ec esand pour ed outov ert he wooden pl ank s ,t i nys har dsofc ol our s pr eadi ngac r os smyl i v i ngr oom f l oor . Butt heax ol ot lwasj us tt hes t ar tofi t .Per haps ,i ni t sj ump,i t hadt or nt hr oughs omeoft he f i l mt hatdi v i dedi t swor l df r om mi ne,orunl oc k eds omes ec r etbar r i er ,f orr i ghtaf t eri tl unged f r om i t shi di ngpl ac e,t hev er yabs t r ac t i ons t ar t edl eak i ngoutof t heSt i l l Li f ewi t h Wal k i ngFi s h.Thepas t el c ol our sgus hedout oft hec anv as ,asdi dal l s or t sofangl esandc ut out sandhol es , s hoot i ng atev er y t hi ng ar ound me and engul f i ng myl i v i ng r oom i nt he s t r anges ts or t sofmus i c .

72


Ther oom f el lapar t ,def or med,r eas s embl edar oundmei na c ont i nuous s war m ofboi s t er ous s hapes .The c ouc h,t he c of f eet abl e,t hec hes tofdr awer s , ev ent hewal l sj umped bac kandf or t hi nt ov ar i ousf or mat i ons ,andbet weent hem mar c hedan endl es spr oc es s i onofdi s t or t edwal k i ngf i s h. ThenIs t ar t edf eel i ngmyi ns i desl oos eni ngandt hr eat eni ng t of al lapar tandr eas s embl e,and bef or eIc oul dal l ow my owni dent i t yt odot hes ame,Ir eac hedt owar dswher et he f l oorhad beens omes ec ondsago,wher eIhadl ef tt heol d f r amet obedi s pos edofl at er .Thepai nt i ng hadbec omej us t onedi s t or t eds hapeoutofadi s t or t eduni v er s e,ands odi d t heempt ywoodenf r ame,buts omehow Imanagedt oc l os e mypal msar oundt hel at t erands l am i tagai ns tt he f or mer . Theabs t r ac t i ons l oweddown;s hapess t ay edt hes ame,f l oat i ngaboutar oundme,andt he bonesi ns i demybodys eemed s t abl eonc eagai n. Thef r amei t s el fs har penedi nt oi t sor i gi nal , s moot hf or m,butnot hi ngel s edi d.Thef r amewast heonl y obj ec tt hi ng i nt he l i v i ng r oom t hatappear ed c ompac t , s moot h,det ai l ed,c ompl et el y gr as pabl e.The abs t r ac t i on ar oundi tmayhav ef aded,mayhav ebec omel es sf i er c e,but i tdi dn’ tl eav ec ompl et el y— Ic oul dt el l nodi f f er enc ebet ween t hec anv asandt her es toft her oom,t hec anv asandmy s el f . Ax ol ot l swer e hi di ngev er y wher e.Ir eal i s edImi ghtnev erbe abl et ol eav e.SoIl eanedi nt owar dst he pi c t ur ef r ame,t he c r i s p,s i l k ypi c t ur ef r ame,andIs ankmyt eet hi nt oi t sc hoc ol at es ur f ac e.●

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74

ELLACURRY


Unt i t l ed( Thur sdayeveni ng) SAULBARRETT

Loi t er i ng,wet behi ndt hehedge, Wi l landIcont empl at et heconsequencesofhappi ness. Hekeepsget t i ngupf orapi ssandIj ust gazeupatt hecei l i ng, wai t i ngf orr evel at i on.

75


I si toveryet ? CN:I nt er gener at i onal t r auma

whent hi si sal l ov er i wantmet os eemeaswhol e i wantt onotf eary ourhat e i wantt owat c hamov i ewher et hepr el ude,epi l ogueandc r edi t s don’ tdemandmypai n i wantt ol ov ewi t hnof eart hatev er y t hi ngwi l l f al l apar tasar es ul t i wantt owak eandnotwor r yaboutev er ypound,ev er ypenny , ev er ymov e i wantt os eeawor l dt hati sunr ec ogni s abl e

76


whent hi si sal l ov er i wantmyanc es t or st ot el l met hey ’ r ec ar r y i ngmywei ght t hi st i mear ound i wantt os eet hes unandk nowi fi want edt o,i c oul dbeher i wantt obr eat hej oyandnotpai n i wantt ok nowk nowl edgenol ongerc os t s i wantt ohearl aught erandnott hi nkaboutt hepr ox i mi t yofourc r i es i wantt owantandk nowt hati s n’ tunat t ai nabl e

whent hi si sal l ov er i wanti tt obeov er i k nowt hi sonl ys t ar t edf ory ouwi t hadi s eas e butt hi shasbeengoi ngonmuc hl ongerf orme f orus .

77


epi l ogue i c an’ thel pt hi nk i ng ofal l t hebor der sc r os s ed t het i mel os t s mi l esex haus t y etmypar ent ss t i l l as k i si tov ery et ? t heyt al kofabet t erl i f e wi t ht ear si nt hei rey es andwenodbac k hopi ngt oc onv i nc et hem

t hatal l t hebor der sc r os s ed t hememor i esl os t wer ewor t hi t .

78


EMMACORRADI NI


Hunt er / Gat her er EMMAROWLEY

I tcr acksopenatl ongl astandhegr i nsati t . Heper f or msasur veyi ngdancear oundi t ,i nspect i ngi t , hi seyesgl i st eni ng,eval uat i ng. Hecoul deati tal li nonego,het hi nks,butt hatwoul dbe besi det hepoi nt . He coul dl i ck i t ,he supposes,musi ng,st ar i ng att he f r act ur esf r om t hespl i t .He’ dspentdayswat chi ngi ton t hecount er ,i t shar dandmyst er i oushai r yski nmocki ng hi m eachmor ni ngasheshovel l edcer eali nt ohi smout h, eyeshal fi nagony ,hal ft r appedi nant i ci pat i on. Thel ockdowndayshadbeenl ong,hehadt hought ,and t hemomentt henutcr ackedopenwoul dmakei tal lbe wor t hi t .Sur el yi twoul df i xt hedayshe’ dbegr udgi ngl yr ef r ai nedf r om f oot bal li nt hepar k,t hef ur i ousni ght she’ d spenti nt hebat hwat chi ngheront hel andi ng,pl ayi ng wi t h her bar bi e dol l s as soapsuds wer e pushed unf or gi vi ngl yi nt ohi seyes.

80


Het r i est oel ongat ehi snoseashesmel l si t ,f i l t er i ngout t hesmel lofeggsf r om t hebr eakf astt hey’ dhadear l i er , t r yi ngt of i ndonl yt hesweetnot ebef or ehi m.Hepushes hi sf aceandbodyf or war ds,achi ngf ort heexper i ence. Hebar el yevenf eel st hepassi ngoft hesof tmomentt hat mar ksahar dl i nei nt her epeat i ngdays,asweetand pr ot ei nf i l l edbef or eandaf t er . Hi smot herst r okeshi shai raf f ect i onat el yasher eaches outt ogr aboneoft heshel l sf r om t hecar cassshe’ dl ef t , cut ,ont hechoppi ngboar d,kni f enowwel loutoft heway . “ Dar l i ng,whatdoyousay?” Hebl i nksather ,ashamedt hatshei snor mal i si ngwhati s moment ous. “ Thankyou. ” She ki sses hi sf or ehead del i cat el y ,br eat hi ng i nt he i nexpl i cabl ef ai ntsmel l ofbakedbeanshe’ dcar r i edsi nce he’ dr eachedhi sf i f t hbi r t hday .He,ont heot herhand,savour snei t herherl ovenort hemoment ,r avenousf ort he pr esentt i me. Hesucksawayt hewat er ymi l kandsi nkshi st eet hi nt o t he f l esh of t he coconut , wel comi ng t he pr i mi t i ve br i l l i ancei nt ot heaf t er noon. 81


GEORGI EJACKSON

82


83

GEORGI EJACKSON


Wi l dSwi mmi ng I t ’ scol dwhenwear r i ve: t hewat erbr i t t l easf l i ntand ever ywher eshat t er i ng,t hesunaspl i tl i p i nat autpol yt henesky . Weunf ol d ont hest ar chedshor el i ne,i nhal i ng sal t ,seagr ease,heal t h, t i me:al lourf r ai lsacchar i ne l uxur i es,pi nnedagai nstt hewi nd l i kedr yi ngsheet s.Twoweeksago youwer eaknotoff l i nchi ngpi xel s: cel l cl ust er sshudder i ng i napet r idi shofl i ght .

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Nowwear ehel di nt hi sst r angenew geomet r y ,boundbyanet t hatmoves,si l ver r i bbed,acr oss f l esh,st one,vacuum:acr oss bodi es–whi char e,af t eral l ,onl y t hesof tmar r ow ofspace Andt hi s,af t eral l ,i swhatal lpeopl ewant : t opr esst hemsel ves agai nstt hegl i t chandl agofdi st ance; t oent eri nt ot ouchandoutagai n; t ocomeapar ti nacr ushofbl ue. Andsomet i mesi tf eel sl i kepushi ngat hi nbl adei nt ocl ay , somet i mesl i kewat chi ngadr i f t ofsal t t hr oughgl ass Thesedays,If i ndt hesensat i onsdi f f i cul tt odi st i ngui sh. t hewat eri sunbr oken,br eaki ngever ywher e. 85


Landl ess JEFFGU

I ’ dmuchr at herbel ost Navi gat i ngt heseaofyoureyes Thanf oundal one Onf ami l i arshor es

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87

GEORGI EJACKSON


StMar y’ sCemet er y ÁI NEMCNAMARA CN:Ment i onsofdeat h,ber eavement StMar y’ s Cemet er y ,679681 Har r ow Rd,London NW10 5NU KensalGr een Cemet er y ,Har r ow Rd, KensalGr een,LondonW104RA Shecamedr essedast heot her s. I twasonl yt hel adderi nhert i ght sandt hemudonher shoest hatgaveheraway .Butshewasdr essedast he ot her s,al li nbl ack.Cr i spcr oppedbl azer ,wi t hapenci l ski r t .Shef i l edi nal ongsi deAni t aDobsonandt heot her wi ves and gi r l f r i ends.The sea ofcur l s car r yi ng t hem t oget heri nt ot heCr emat or i um.I twasal mostseaml ess. WhenEl t onar r i vedhowever ,t hemaskbegant osl i p.He wasdr essedast heot her st oo,al li nbl ack,butt hemi ni cust odi anhel methecal l edahatdi dst ealt heshow.We shar edagl anceandaf or bi ddensmi l eandi ndoi ngsoI r eveal edmysel ft obeanunwant edvi si t ort oo. Whatdoeshel ookl i ke? Shesaysasshepassesme.Ismi r kbutqui ckl yl osei tt o t hegr ound. Hel ooksl i ket hebl oodyl i t t l edr ummerboy . Bef or eshei ssweptawayundert hear chandl ostt ot he congr egat i on. AndIam l ef tt opi ckupt hedr oppedor der s 88


ofser vi ceandr epai rt hewal l . Thewomanwhoj umpedt hef enceatFr eddi eMer cur y’ s f uner al . I pr obabl y woul d’ ve sai d somet hi ng or di nar i l y . Not conf r ont ed her ,butper haps a whi spert ot he chi ef mour ner ,t owar nt hem ofani nt r uder ,outofr espectf or t he dead. Thi s i s usual l y t he wi f e, or mor e t r agi cal l y ,t hemot her .Womenal waysseem t ol i vel onger . But at t he deat h of a t i t an, who i s t he sel f appoi nt edl eader ?Whol ovedt hem most ?Whogott he cl osestt oast ar ?Whobur nedi nhi spr esence? Thewor l dcr i esf ordaysandweeks,butt hef uner alday ar r i ves and what i s l ef tt o do f or t hose who act ual l y knew hi m? Cr yi ng has been wor n out ,i t s f unct i onsused up bysomeone el se.Notbyt hose f or whom i twasi nt ended. Fort hi sr eason,It ol dt hepapar azzit hewr ongaddr ess. They came bundl i ng i n t hr ough t he gat es t o St Mar y’ satf i vei nt hemor ni ng,r eadyf ort heser vi ceatni ne. Par asi t es. I was r el uct ant t o gr ant access t ot he out si dewor l d,butt heyf oundhi m event ual l y .Asdi dshe. But t hey r eal l y shoul d have known bet t er . Not hi nghappenst her e.TheCat hol i csi dei sbar r en.St Mar y’ s i s wher e t hose ai mi ng f or heaven ar e bur i ed.Mar ySeacol ei sher e,butnooneel seofnot e. Once you pass t hr ough t he l at e 1800s,i tbecomes onel ar gepl otofl and,over seenbyt het r oubl edskyl i neof Whi t eCi t y .Nol i f e,onl ydeadgr ass.Or di nar i l y ,Iwoul d 89


havesai dsomet hi ng.Butshewast hesameasme,and i tf el tr udet or epat r i at eaf el l ow i nt er l oper .Shewasf r om oursi de.Herhusbandhadbeenbur i edr ecent l yi nour par tt oo.Shewasn’ tyoung,butshewasn’ tol d,soshe wast ooyoungt ol oseahusband.Icoul dn’ tbr i ngmysel f t oal er tt hecongr egat i ont oherpr esence.SoIl ethersl i p bet weent wowor l ds. Andj ustf ort oday ,Il etmysel fcr osst oo.Usi ngherr out e, I hoi st mysel f over t he col l apsed st one – car ef ul t oavoi dt hebr ambl es–andwal kt hepat hasi fi twer e mi ne.I t ’ sr ude t o pr ef era si t ef ort he dead,butIdo. KensalGr een,appr opr i at el ynamed,hasapopul at i onof t r ees si mi l ar t o i t s dead. Ther e i s a st r eam, a f or est ,monument s,( per hapsPr ot est ant sar er i cher )and t he r i ch and f amous ar e al ll ai d si de by si de. I cr oss t hr ough t he I t al i ans who ar en’ tCat hol i c,t he Di ssent er s,t heGr eeks.IpassFr eddi et oo( onl yIdon’ t st op,he’ snotr eal l yt her e) .ButIcomet or estbyOl d Har ol d,f oraqui ckchat . Thel ongdeadl ookoutt owar ds Thenewdead Wal ki ngt owar dst hem Theycr yandt heyki ss Ast heymeetagai n Fort hef i r standl astt i me Har ol dPi nt er ,Meet i ng,2002● 90


WI NNI EZHU


CN:Degener at i vei l l ness Agol denpennywai t sonherbedsi det abl e i nst eadofonhert ongue, t heonet hatsl i psoutoccasi onal l y r est i ng i nanempt ymout h agai nstbar egums andwor dsunsai d, unl ear nt ,unt hought— because,yousee,she’ st r eadi ngwat er ( shel ear ntt oswi m atsevent y) andt hewat er l i nei st hebor der bet ween t hi s and t hat buthermi nddr ownedawhi l eago whi l stherbodyst aysaf l oat . SoIsqueezeherhandbecause t heyt el lmeshecanf eelt hatwe’ r ef ami l y t hr oughsomeki ndacosmi cl ovebl oodwave butshet r i est oni bbl emycl enchedf i nger s, t hi nkst hey’ r ecandy whi chIt r yt ot akeasacompl i ment becauseal lsheknowshowt ol ove anymor ei st het ast eofsugar sweet ( f or getf ami l y) . 92


MI RI AM EMEFADZAH


Pr oxi mi t y MI RI AM EMEFADZAH

CN:Rac i s m,v i ol enc e,ment i onsofdeat h

Youcannotf ul l yf eeli t . Theycannotevenseei t . Thedi vi di ngl i nei sonl yf el tbysome.Youwer ebor nwi t h anobscur edvi si onoft hevi ol encet hatseepsoutof ever ycr ack. “ Assoonas[ t hecol oni zed]ar ebor n i ti sobvi oust ot hem t hatt hei rcr ampedwor l d, r i ddl edwi t ht aboos,canonl ybechal l enged byoutandoutvi ol ence. ” Whent hecopsst oppedmet hatday ,t heyaskedwhot he carbel ongedt o.Theyl ef tandcheckedt oseei fwhatmy shakyvoi cer epl i edwast r ue.I twasal lf i newhent hey r eadyourname.Theygavemeavaguesmi l eandl et medr i veof f . 94


“ Thecol oni zedwor l di sawor l ddi vi dedi nt wo. Thedi vi di ngl i ne,t hebor der ,i sr epr esent ed byt hebar r acksandt hepol i cest at i ons. I nt hecol oni es,t heof f i ci al ,l egi t i mat eagent ,t he spokesper sonf ort hecol oni zerandt her egi meof oppr essi on,i st hepol i ceof f i cerort hesol di er . ” Whydot heyst i l lneedt oseebl oodonI nst agr am t i l es, menchokedt odeat handpeopl edr owni ng? I ’ veneverseenyourcompl exi onbl eedont henews. Dadneedsavi sat ocomeandseemeatuni .You si mpl ypr esentyournameonapi eceofpl ast i c.SodoI . “ I nmymi nd,Iseeal i ne.Andovert hatl i ne, Iseegr eenf i el dsandl ovel yf l ower s andbeaut i f ulwhi t ewomenwi t h t hei rar msst r et chedoutt omeovert hatl i ne, butIcan’ tseem t ogett her enohow. Ican' tseem t ogetovert hatl i ne. ” Ourpr oxi mi t ysi ncebi r t hwasnotmeantt obe al addert ocl i mbaf encewi t h. I twasmeantt obewar mt h, notf ort hesakeofheal i ngt hecol d, butpur ewar mt hi nandofi t sel f . 95


Yournamewasabl anksl at e. Yournamef i l l edt heai rwi t hl i ght ness andbecameashi el dIwasbor nwi t hsomehow. Theyknewyouwer esof tspoken wi t houthear i ngyourvoi ceorseei ngyourf ace. Noangeroraggr essi on,not hr eatt odet ect . Theyl etgoofmewhent heyr eadyourname,mum. Icr i edont hephonebeggi ngf orout r age. Yougavemeempat hy ,sadness,war mt h.Iwant edr age. Iwant edvi ol ence.

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XAVI ERHAENDLER


AUDREYLEE


THEI R CARELESS CARESSES ELLACURRY I t ’ ssomet i mear oundel eveni nt hehoneysoakedr oom, one wi ndow open t ot he echoi ng ni ght .She si t s,a hal f moonsmi l eonheri l l umi nedf ace,andi nt hel ar ge wi ndow behi ndherhead,gol denr ef l ect i onsswi mi nt he mi st edgl ass.Thef l i cker i ngf or msmer ge,smear sofl i f e danci ng agai nstt he dar k sky ,di sappear i ng now and agai nbehi ndherunmovi nghead.I nherhandshehol ds t he hem ofherski r t ,bunched bet ween t wo t wi st i ng f i nger s;shesl owl ybr ushest her ought hr eadsacr ossher pal m asshewat chesherf r i ends. They’ r esatar oundt het abl e,huddl edt oget heri nt wos andt hr ees,andsheobser vest hem f ondl y .Shei scont ent nott ot al k,t osi mpl ybet her e,gent l ybuf f et edbyt hei r car t wheel i ngconver sat i on,t hesof tsusur r at i onoft hei r hal f sl ur r edwhi sper s.Shesmi l essl i ght l y:t heyar ej ust dr unk enough t hatt hey ar e suspended i n a gl owi ng happi nessofgl i st eni ngeyesandshi ver i nghai r .Yes,she t hi nks–i ti si ndeedqui t ebeaut i f ul . Ever ynowandt hent hebl anketofqui etmur mur sbubbl es up,scat t er i ngi nt ol aught er ,t hegl owi nggi ggl escaught 99


ar oundt hei rl i psast heygul pf r om gl assesdr enchedwi t h l i pst i ck and wi ne. Each ki ss l eaves an i mpr i nt ,a shi mmer i ngmout hmadedupl i cat e;t oher ,i tseemsas t houghherf r i endsmustt ouchever yt hi ngi nt hi sway;t hey can’ tr esi stcar essi ng ever y obj ectwi t ht hei rmout hs, hungr yt ot ast e,t of eeli tal l .Byt heseki sses,t heyt ast e t hewor l d. Ast hemoondr i f t shi gheri nt hest ygi ansky ,t her oom gr ows everbr i ght er ,t he gl owi ng ember s oft he day cuppedwi t hi ni t sshadowedwal l s.Theseshadowswaver andshi f tashandsf l i t ,bi r dl i ke,f r om gl ass,t ot abl e,t o chest ,t henf ace,hai r ,andback;herhandr emai nsont he t abl eassheabsent mi ndedl yt r aceswhor l si nadul l pur pl e poolofwi net hathascol l ect edt her e. Shewat chest ender l yast hemi l ky ,gol denl i ghtwr aps i t sel far oundt hei rbodi es,cl i ngi ngt ot hei rcl ot hesand hai r ;shemar vel satt her edwi ner osest hatbl oom acr oss t hei rl i psandcheeks,gr owi ng,gl owi ngi nt hepear l escent f l uor escenceoft hehal ogenbul bs.Herhear tf l ut t er s,and shesi ghs.Forshel ooksatt hem al l t hr oughal ensofl ove, suchl ove:shewat chesandwonder satt hebeaut yof t hei rwi de l aughs and t hei rl oud mout hs,t he gl ossy chor usoft hei rcl i nki nggl asses. Thewashi ngmachi nenextdoorbegi nst ohum,andshe i spul l edupt odance.Shel aughsast heyt wi r li nwi l d, j oyous ci r cl es;t he r oom i s suddenl y al leyes and t of f eegl azed l i ps, spl i t second gl i mpses of t oopi nk t ongues and pur pl et eet h.As t hey spi n ar ound,t hei r bodi esmer ge,t r ansf or medi nt odi st or t edi magesi nt he 1 00


bot t l est hatador nt het abl e–gr eent i nt edandgl owi ng, t henl osti nani nst ant . Andt heni t ’ sover ,andt heyar eal lhandsandf l ushed cheeksoncemor e,cl ut chi ngatgoodni ght s.Thecei l i ng t hr owsbackt heshar pechoest hatbur stf r om t hecl i nki ng ofwi l dhugsandcol l i di nggl assesasanewdancebegi ns, abal l etofcar el ess,car ef r eecar esses.Li qui dsl i psf r om near empt ygl assesont ogr aspi ng,cl aspi nghands.I t ’ s near l yt wo. Theyl eave,onebyone,t hei rf ar ewel l sf l yi ngawayi nt o t hedar kness.Wi t ht heopeneddoor ,t hehoneyedsheen t ot her oom f ades,and–cur i ousl y–shef i ght st heur get o cr y . Asshewal kshomeal one,t hel astl i ght sgoouti nt he upperwi ndow,andt hemoon’ shazypenumbr at ouches t hecl oudswi t hsi l ver .●

1 01


XAVI ERHAENDLER


STCATZ I ZMAXWELL

Thesl i ght l ysqui nt i ngear l yochr el i ghtofmi daf t er noon Ont hewat er ,ont hebr i dgeandl eapi ngt hr ough Oh,t hewayever yt hi ngi si sl i keapi eceofpeacehas separ at edandl andedher e,met eor i cj oy HowdoIexpl ai nt hi s? Whati nel egantchi l di shboundi ng,myhear t Al mostcr ushi ng,youcoul ddomesomehar m,whatan excessofsensat i on,Icoul deati t , God Il oveyouher e,now,l i ket hi s,and Whatar eyou?Ihaven’ t Thegi ddi est .ButIknowyouar egood,andbeaut i f ul , andmi ndnumbi ngl ywonder f ul Iknowyouar ehal fmel t edl i kebut t eront oast Andmor ni ngandbel l sandspl i nt er i ng Iknowyouar r i vei nt heshapeofbr i dgesandyouhave Thecapaci t yt oenvel opme,you,Iknowyoumi ghtbe, Ar eal mi ght yt hebestofal lmydays.

1 03


ST SSUE10PLAYLI I PLAYTI ME

1.ON/ OFFLI NEUFO95,Anet ha 2.MI DISANSFRONTI ÈRES( AVECBATTERI E) Squar epusher 3.R. BI T4. 2DaneLaw 4. WHEAYOGHOSTAT , WHEAYO DEADMAN DJEl moe 5.COMEDOWNTO USBur i al

HERBI ELAMBDEN


6.ACROSSTHEUNI VERSELai bach 7.NATCHCor ner shop 8.MI NDYOURBUSI NESSDel t a5 9.BORDERLI NEMadonna 10.WALLSCOMETUMBLI NG DOWN St yl eCounci l


TheNew Hal lAr tCol l ect i on NAOMIPOLONSKY

Fr om i t sv er yi nc ept i on,New Hal lAr tCol l ec t i onatMur r ay Edwar dsCol l egehaspus hedandex pandedbor der s . Mur r ay Edwar ds( néeNew Hal l )wasf oundedi nt he1950sast he t hi r des t abl i s hmentf orwomenatCambr i dge,atat i mewhen t her ewasonl yonef emal es t udentf orev er ys ev enmal e s t udent satt heUni v er s i t y .I t sf i r s ti nt ak ec ons i s t edof16 s t udent s .I nt he 1960s ,t he Col l ege mov ed t oi t si c oni c Br ut al i s ts t r uc t ur edes i gnedbyt hear c hi t ec t soft heBar bi c an Cent r easamonumentt ot hebr oadeni ngoppor t uni t i esi n women’ seduc at i on. I nt hey ear198586,t heAmer i c anf emi ni s tar t i s tMar yKel l y wasAr t i s t i nRes i denc eatKet t l e’ sYar dandNew Hal l .She pr oduc edt hes er i esEx t as e,namedaf t eroneoft hef i v e t er ms whi c ht he 19t hc ent ur y ps y c hi at r i s tJ eanMar t i n Char c otus ed t o des c r i be hy s t er i c alwomen.When s he donat edt hes ewor k st oNew Hal l ,agr oupofac ademi c sat t heCol l egedec i dedt of oundac ol l ec t i onofar tbywoment o addr es st he under r epr es ent at i on of women ar t i s t si n mus eumsandgal l er i es .I twast hec as et hen–asi ti snow– t hatwor k sbywomenar t i s t smak eupat i nyper c ent ageof mus eum c ol l ec t i onsandar tmar k ets al es .Theac ademi c s c hos e100womenar t i s t swor k i ngi nt heUKatt hatt i meand as k edi ft heywoul dl i k et odonat eawor kt ot heCol l ec t i on, t hi nk i ngt hat as mal l pr opor t i onmi ght s ayy es . Asi t t ur nedout 75oft hem donat edawor k .Foundedont hi sac tofc ol l ec t i v e gener os i t y ,t heCol l ec t i onhasc ont i nuedt ogr ow andnow i nc l udesmor et han550wor k s ,mos tofwhi c hhangont he c hal k y br i c kwal l soft heCol l ege. 1 06


Ar t wor k si nt heCol l ec t i onr el at et ot hei deaofbor der si na mul t i pl i c i t y ofway s .Some qui t el i t er al l y :f orex ampl e, Amer i c an ar t i s tJ oy c e Koz l of f ’ s Maui :SugarPl ant at i ons ( 2007)i smadeupof t hr eeov er l appi ngmapswhi c hv i s ual i s e t hel i t er alandmet aphor i c albor der swhi c hs epar at epeopl e andpl ac es . AuHoiLam’ sy el l owdi pt y c hHongKong,Hong Kong( 2016)c ons i s t i ngoft womaps–onet r ac edandone er as ed–i sat i mel ypol i t i c als t at ementaboutt hewayi n whi c hHongKong’ si dent i t yhasgr adual l ybeener odedov er t heper i odof ‘ handov er ’ f r om Br i t ai nt oChi na. Ot herwor k si n t heCol l ec t i onc hal l engebor der si mpos edi nar t hi s t or y . Ros e Gar r ar d’ s Model s Tr i pt y c h: Madonna Cas c ade ( 1982) r ec r eat esas el f por t r ai tbyJ udi t hLey s t er ,t heDut c hGol den Agepai nt erwasal mos ter as edf r om hi s t or ybyar tdeal er s whoat t r i but edherwor kt omal ec ont empor ar i es ,f r amedby c as c adi ng pl as t erf i gur i nesoft he Vi r gi n and Chi l d.Lex i St r aus s ’Hos t es s( 2014)depi c t sapr egnantf emal enude whoi sghos t l yanddi s t or t edwi t hs t r angepr ot uber anc eson herbr eas t sandbel l y ,s ubv er t i ngex pec t at i onsaboutwhata f emal enudes houl dl ookl i k e. Oneoft hemos tbor der br eak i ngwor k si nt heCol l ec t i oni s Ros e Wy l i e’ sv i br ant l ar ges c al e pai nt i ng Bi l l i e Pi per ( 1994/ 2014) . Wy l i ef i r s t c r eat edt hewor ki n1994t omar kher daught er ’ sweddi ng,butr et ur nedt oi tt wodec adesl at er whent hemar r i agebr ok edown,r epl ac i ngherdaught er ’ s f ac ewi t ht heac t r es sBi l l i ePi per ’ sandt r ans f or mi ngt hebl ue weddi ngmar queei nt oadr es s .Wy l i edes c r i bedt hepai nt i ng ass howi ngt hef r agi l i t yofr el at i ons hi ps ,aqual i t ywhi c hi s mi r r or ed i nt he wor k ’ s medi um:t he uns t r et c hed and unpr i medc anv aswi t hi t sl oos e,ov er l appi ngbor der s . 1 07


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Thankyousomucht oever ysi ngl eper sonwhosubmi t t edt o t hi si ssue–wewer ebl ownawaybyt hequal i t y ,t houghtand t al entoft hi si ssue’ scont r i but i ons,andwi shedwecoul d publ i sht hem al l . Ouronl i nel auncheventwasonl ypossi bl ebecauseoft he br i l l i antwr i t er sandar t i st swhor eadandspoke–t hankyou al lsomuchf orl endi ngusyourt i meandbeaut i f ulvoi ces! Twool dcol l abor at or s–Pl ayt i meandVar si t y–andanew one –TheNew Hal lAr tCol l ect i on–madet hi si ssuever yspeci al f orus.Huget hankst oal loft hem f orpr omos,podcast s, pl ayl i st s,pr ompt sandpr ose. Hugsandt hanksal sot oCambr i dgeUndoi ngBor der sand Sol i dar i Teef oral lt heamaz i ngwor kyouar edoi ng!I fyou’ r e ent husi ast i cf ormor eaf t err eadi ngt hi sedi t i on,checkt hem bot houtonsoci almedi aandgetyour sel fat shi r tt hat ’ l lmake yout heenvyofal lyouseeonSi dgwi cknextyear . Toourwonder f ulf r i endsatCROB,Mosai c.andNot es,t hank youf orcol l abor at i ngwi t husont hef r esher s’event .I twas beyondhear t war mi ngt oseeourz i necommuni t ycome t oget herdespi t et hel ockdown. Al lofourl ovegoest ol astyear ’ sBAI Tt eam member s–Mar i a Cal i nescu,JackCr awf or d,HannahRi ce,Cam Wal t er sand Fr ancescaWeekes–whot aughtusmostofwhatweknow andwhosehar dwor k,cr eat i vi t yandpassi oncr eat edt he pl at f or mt hez i nehasnow. Fi nal l y:t hankyou.Az i nemat t er swhenpeopl er eadi t ,engage wi t hi t ,andf i ndawar m,saf epl acei nt hecommuni t yi t cr eat es.Wehopeyou’ veenj oyedt hi sone. 1 08


THEBAI TTEAM

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1 09


FRANCESCARI GG


Asi ft heycoul ddeci dewher ehomei sThel onel i est st r i ng,andt hewhol enoi sybandSheomi t sapos t r ophesI nst eadwewi l ll ockoutdoor sandwai tf or somet hi nggoodI ’ m nots ur ewhyIwass ur pr i s ed; t hi si st hel andofex ces sButmayi tr emi ndust hat anEar t hi sst i l lt her eThewor l dat ex tt hatr eadsI mi s suWhendi dwest ar tt ot hi nki t ’ smor ei mpor t antt okeepbor der ssaf et hanpeopl e?Butov er al l bus i nes sar ound t hegl obecont i nuesasus ualBet weensui t edshuf f l esandt hequi verofal t er nat i ng cur r entWeunf ol dont hes t ar cheds hor el i ne,i nhal i ng s al t ,s eagr eas e,heal t h,t i me Thi si s notf or ei gn gr oundf oracl ot hespegIs t ar t edt owi t nes sl i nes bei ngdr awnFr oz eni nt hemomentwhenl ongi ng becamet ouchMar gi nsar eal lt ooof t enas y mbolof oppr es s i onButbei ng mar gi naldoesn’ tmean we di dn’ texi stShek nowst hef aceofgr eed:coall eak i ng f r om t he cor ner s ofhi s ey es Herbody ,our bodi es,ar et er r est r i alTheys ayi fonel ook shar d enoughonl ak esl i k et hes eoncecans eet hecur v eof t heear t hI near l ymor ni ngunl i ghtIam l ook i ngata pi x el at edgr andf at herl ook i ngbackatmeIwantmy ancest or st ot el lmet hey’ r ecar r yi ng mywei ght t hi st i mear oundEy eshal fi nagony ,hal ft r appedi n ant i ci pat i on Wor ds unsai d,unl ear nt ,unt hought I ’ v enev ers eeny ourcompl ex i onbl eedont henewsI know youar ehal fmel t edl i kebut t eront oastTwo week sagowewer eak notoff l i nchi ngpi x el s

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