AWARENOW
ISSUE 43
THE WORLD'S OFFICIAL MAGAZINE FOR CAUSES
CASE KENNY EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW ‘BE SO BOLD’
IVOLAINE DE NOBREGA ‘A FIGHT WORTH FIGHTING’
KEVIN HINES
‘THE ART OF BEING BROKEN’
VALARIE KAUR
‘BREAKING THE CYCLE’
ESCAPE ARTIST LOVERS ‘PUNCTUATION’
KRYSTAL MCCOY
‘FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR’
DR. TODD BROWN
‘POE IS STILL TEACHING US’
KRISTIN MCGEE
‘TILTING THE BALANCE’
MARY DAVID ‘REPEAT’
THE BOLD EDITION FINDING FREEDOM IN BEING FEARLESS PROUDLY SUPPORTED BY OFFICIAL EDITION PARTNER ARTISTS FOR TRAUMA
W W W. A RT I ST S F O RT R AU M A . O R G
THE BOLD EDITION AwareNow Magazine is a monthly publication produced by AwareNow Media™, a storytelling platform dedicated to creating and sustaining positive social change with content that inspires and informs, while raising awareness for causes one story at a time.
006 CREATOR’S CALLING
054 VISUAL POETRY
104 PUNCTUATION
012 BREAKING THE CYCLE
060 DESCENT
108 FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR
014 BE SO BOLD
062 A LEGACY IN THE MAKING
120 THE ART OF BEING BROKEN
028 A FIGHT WORTH FIGHTING
066 TO FOSTER HEALING
126 WE ARE ALL WORRIERS
034 WHERE ART MEETS WOOD & WONDER
080 LIFE
130 GROWING UP WITH PNKD
040 TILTING THE BALANCE
084 REPEAT
140 SET YOUR CHILDREN FREE
048 HYMN TO THE SUN
086 AMONGST THE STARS
144 IN ALL WAYS
050 POE IS STILL TEACHING US
094 LIVING FOR GIVING
CHIEF OGIMAA
VALARIE KAUR
CASE KENNY
IVOLAINE DE NOBREGA
ANDREW SOLIDAY/LAURA SHARPE
KRISTIN MCGEE
BURT KEMPNER
DR. TODD BROWN
JEN BIRCHMEIER
ESCAPE ARTIST LOVERS
AMBER KILPATRICK
KRYSTAL MCCOY
KAT POVEY/TANITH HARDING
ARTISTS FOR TRAUMA
KEVIN HINES/ERIN MACAULEY
ELIZABETH BLAKE-THOMAS
PAUL ROGERS
NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
MARY DAVID
KATHERINE WINTER-SELLERY
SHELLA CONDINO/SONJA MONTIEL
JACK & ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
JACQUELINE WAY
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Freedom lies in being bold. Robert Frost
Being bold while remaining humble is a delicate balance that can inspire profound change in our world. It's about having the audacity to envision a brighter future while acknowledging the wisdom of those who came before us and the potential of those standing beside us. In this era, marked by unprecedented challenges and opportunities, we must unite in the pursuit of progress. Our mantra, “We will no longer ask for permission to change the world.” embodies this spirit. It's a declaration that we no longer need validation to make a difference. The world is in a state of flux, and now, more than ever, we must stand together, resolute in our determination to shape a better future, while embracing the humility that keeps us open to diverse perspectives and united in our shared quest for a brighter tomorrow. We must boldly go into the future with our eyes and hearts wide open. Welcome to the Bold Edition of AwareNow Magazine.
ALLIÉ McGUIRE Co-Director of AwareNow Media, CEO & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties Allié started her career in performance poetry, then switched gears to wine where she made a name for herself as an online wine personality and content producer. She then focused on content production under her own label The Allié Way™ before marrying the love of her life, Jack, and switching gears yet again to a pursue a higher calling to raise awareness and funds for causes with Awareness Ties and AwareNow Media.
JACK McGUIRE Co-Director of AwareNow Media, President & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties Jack got his start in the Navy before his acting and modeling career. Jack then got into hospitality, focusing on excellence in service and efficiency in operations and management. After establishing himself with years of experience in the F&B industry, he sought to establish something different… something that would allow him to serve others in a greater way. With his wife, Allié, Awareness Ties and AwareNow Media were born.
WAIVER/DISCLAIMER The views and opinions expressed in AwareNow are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of AwareNow Media. Any content provided by our columnists or interviewees is of their opinion and not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, political group, organization, company, or individual. In fact, its intent is not to vilify anyone or anything. Its intent is to make you think. 5
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There’s only one race… a human race. CHIEF OGIMAA
ANISHINAABE KNOWLEDGE KEEPER, CHIEF OF FOOTHILLS OJIBWAY ON TURTLE ISLAND 6
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‘FROM THE BEGINNING TO NOW’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY CHIEF OGIMAA
CREATOR’S CALLING
FROM THE BEGINNING TO NOW: LESSON 19 The Royal Proclamation of 1763 was issued by King George 111 on 7 of October 1763. It established the basis for governing the North American territories… The Canadian Encyclopedia
www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca
Please note that Ogimma is a direct descendent of Chief Pontiac and is a Chief by lineage and hereditary lines. He is a knowledge keeper and a runner, as described in his previous teachings. Since the time of the this interview the the planet is experiencing alarming struggles, environmentally, and among its peoples. It is important to acknowledge the devastating, storms, earthquakes, and environmental disasters, which mark the response of Mother Nature to human priorities. Please also note that Ogimma teaches us that there is one human race… What follows is an excerpt from an interview Allié McGuire conducted with Ogimma, edited and submitted by Kathy Kiss. OGIMMA: It’s a struggle for everything. We are struggling for lots of things. Not only in life, but then seeing everything the way it’s going. It is very difficult. At one time, I was thinking everything is going to be the way it is and that was in the years that I was a runner. I did not know that destructions exist. Fast forward, NOW makes me sad. Some of the places that used to be, they are not looking the same. That is sad. It is sad to see the environment destroyed and the animals that used to be there and living in peace, no longer there. Everything has been painted over even though it is natural land… it doesn’t look the same. It doesn’t feel the same way it used to be…some no longer exist. No longer are the birds that I used to enjoy listening to singing. But when we feel lost, it is possible to reconnect because the connection is always there. ALLIÉ: This is ‘The Bold Edition’. What it’s really about is finding strength and being fearless. It’s finding your foundation and staying true to your roots, which you have shown us in your many beautiful lessons of your column entitled ‘Creator’s Calling’. For which the subtitle is ‘From Then Until Now’. Right now, it is almost 500 years of being a runner, and 250 years from a treaty that was made - a treaty between Chief Pontiac and King George. It’s a treaty that you have honoured. You and your people have honoured that and held onto that. From then until now, you still hold on, and you’ve preserved the teachings that you refuse to let go when it would have been much easier, perhaps to do so. You were so bold and so brave to hold on. And that is beautiful to me. OGIMMA: Well, it’s like this, the Creator connects us to everything like a tree. The tree has roots under the ground. The tree is part of creation, the natural order of the trees, spruce trees, pine trees, poplar trees, they are all nicely spaced out. They’re all nicely ordered. And natural order of foundation, we are part of that creation. Nobody in this world can say they are not because everyone came to be born to this world, the way the Creator has intended. It’s all part of this world. It’s all something that we live by from the Creator. It’s like the sun up there. It doesn’t matter where we are. It’s something that is real… something that is truth. We cannot walk away from truth. The truth is everything connected to this world. In order for things to grow, they have to be connected to the soil, they have to be touching the soil. They have to be part of this world. That’s the truth. What you see is the truth. 7
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The land was never sold. The land was shared. CHIEF OGIMAA
ANISHINAABE KNOWLEDGE KEEPER, CHIEF OF FOOTHILLS OJIBWAY ON TURTLE ISLAND 8
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“This is why we ran. We wanted to protect these understandings.” OGIMMA: (continued) The truth is vital. People are people. There’s only one race… a human race. There are other things like the animals. They’re part of this. This is truth and is always going to be there. The truth is believing… believing who we are… believing what God has intended to be here… because then we cannot go wrong… Creator has put everything here that we need. It’s going to be here and everything that we see from our own eyes. On the other hand, there are those who want to change this… and want to have policies and control and management…. but that wasn’t the intent of Creator. The Creator gave us free will to decide for ourselves. It’s us up to us to show how we’re going to use what he has put here as we need it. We ran. My ancestors ran all the way from Minnesota, and from where my other grandfather took that world archive of this part of Turtle Island. I call it ‘the archive of the world’. The Creator himself gave this to our people, connected to the land that we were put in. It is shown in the symbols that he has created for us… Yes, they are land formations, because Creator put them here his symbols from the land. It’s like the constellations. Creator put those up there. The constellations are about people… about human beings. This is why we ran. We wanted to protect these understandings. They need to be protected because that is truth. That’s what’s going to help the world and going to help people. I know I ran and my people ran, but that’s not history. We were there and we can still be there, so it wasn’t history when my great grandfather, Chief Pontiac, made that agreement with King George. My great grandfather wanted to have King George’s family live here and share the wealth of this Turtle Island, so we can all live like humans as God has said. The Creator has said, “You respect my creation!” So, Pontiac made that agreement because he wanted King George’s family to be respected and to coexist with us… so they can have the things they need. The land was never sold. The land was shared. If anybody needed help, they agreed they would notify each other. The intent from the proclamation is that we live side-by-side that we each have our own people… You have your own people… You have your own beliefs. You have your own laws and governments. I have mine. You keep yours on your side. I’ll keep mine on my side. We are two nations. You are a nation. The proclamation is why they stopped this fight that happened because they don’t want fighting… So they made treaty. We will treat each other with respect. We will treat each other like brothers and sisters, who take care of each other, who share the land with you because you have the family and you’ll have children. You’ll have people like I have… let’s understand our differences. Pontiac said, “Mine is Creators law… It is our own constitution that we have here… You have yours and we will have the two row wampum belt showing the creators laws. We respect all human races. So let’s make peace… peace and friendship. No more fighting… King George agreed… saying, “We’re not the ones that are destroying your communities. It is the settlers not us.” My great grandfather said, “Let’s live in peace… So next year I’ll have people on Turtle Island meet here…” 9
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“After that they started putting our people into reserves, like concentration camps. People were hung, kids were put in residential schools, blankets were shared that were with deadly contamination.” OGIMMA: (continued) By 1764, he gathered over 2000 chiefs from across Turtle Island near Niagara Falls and that is where they used an artifact. I have that bundle… I have that ceremonial archive. There was agreement for peace and friendship with King George 111 and the division came after King George’s granddaughter came and made another treaty which is the Imperial Crown Treaty. After that they started putting our people into reserves, like concentration camps. People were hung, kids were put in residential schools, blankets were shared that were with deadly contamination. First, we weren’t recognized by other humans as human beings by the law going back to the visit of Columbus… I am not afraid. I’m not afraid to tell the truth. I’m not afraid to tell my side of why we protected the land. That treaty protects the land. Treaty protects not only people of this, what we call Turtle Island, where I am that is called Canada today. If we didn’t have a treaty, all this land would’ve been molested and destroyed… which is the environment. Now what’s happening to our children, our grandchildren? You cannot eat fish from everywhere already. You cannot drink water from anywhere. Somebody has to stand up. That’s what these things are… that have been happening without the truth. It is what happened with a lot of things and with the children, who didn’t come home for a long time… That is wrong. The many graves that are found here… They cannot be forgotten. We must show them to educate and know who kills. Show them, to teach what’s right and wrong. We all love our children. We love our grand children. The government rules and thinking to mimic the Creator is not going to work. This is why I’m not afraid to stand up for the future generations — all future generations not just the native people, not only first nations, all. If they can drink one water, safe water, that’s truth, that’s real. That these children can play together whether it’s native children together… first nation, white children and all children. That’s what Creator intended for us… not this division because that’s what killed a lot of first nation children. So now, how can it be about reconciliation if the government is not telling the truth. The truth is vital. The truth is real. We still keep the agreement of Chief Pontiac and King George, whose family exists in Europe. That family still has hereditary leadership. 10
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OGIMMA: (continued) Here people that survived the residential school are so terrified of the government… but I wasn’t a product of that and I’m not worried about what the government is going to do to me. That’s why I stand up and say things about the whole world. People are fighting. People want to control. But who is it hurting?…. the children… If it’s in Ukraine, in the States, in Israel, in Africa… anywhere. The ones that are going to get hurt the most… the children. They don’t even know what’s going on. You hear a child, crying… It’s hurtful! All our children need to have a future, no matter whose children they are. That is what Pontiac wanted. That’s why he said “Let’s share. Let’s take care of families.” That was peace and friendship, and all those 2000 Chiefs agreed. It is still like that today. I would never hurt anybody’s child. They’re innocent they should have no worries. It’s like nothing should happen to them ever. They should be playing out there with the nature… like fishing… How proud they are if they caught something and you are being there for them. That is very special. For them to be bombed…. to be tortured in residential or forced schools… now with the racism that we’re facing today and that I experience myself… it is wrong. There was no racism when Chief Pontiac said, “Let’s coexist… Let’s share this land…” So the treaty began with the two. One dealt with our constitution here, our governments, our own laws, and our own education structure. We still honour that today because the Creator meant it to be like that. Creator has given us what we need, and we must be sure the next children have protection, prevention, and success with Creator’s guidance. The truth is always vital. ALLIÉ: It all makes perfect sense, and I thank you so much for sharing everything that you have because it’s just like you said when you first started speaking… The fact that when we look up, look at the sun, it’s part of it. Look at the trees. They are part of it. We are all part of it. We’re part of ‘us’, and it’s not about serving ourselves, it’s about serving something bigger than we are, because we’re part of some thing bigger than we are. If we don’t realize the truth, we are quite lost. OGIMMA: Yeah… Thank you for calling. We will keep doing these good things and telling truth out there. ALLIÉ: Absolutely. Thank you for sharing everything that you have. Thank you for being the light you are. It takes all of us to be these lights to lead the way, and to always be mindful of the truth out there. Thank you for reminding us. ∎
CHIEF OGIMAA (ACHA-KOOH-WAAY) Anishinaabe Knowledge Keeper, Chief of Foothills Ojibway on Turtle Island www.awarenessties.us/ogimaa I am Ogimaa (Acha-Kooh-waay), I begin with words from my own language to say hi to everybody. My identity… which is… because God put me in this part of the world is my Annishinaabe language and name. That means “leader” for people and environment here. So I am not saying I am the leader of Turtle Island but that’s what that means. It is an individual’s name, which is a spirit name that we carry on from our traditional culture and lineage in this part of the world. We were put here on this Turtle. This Turtle Island is massive.
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The moment we allow our hearts to go numb to the deaths of any children is the moment we shut down our humanity. VALARIE KAUR
AUTHOR, HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVIST & FOUNDER OF THE REVOLUTIONARY LOVE PROJECT Photo Credit: Hosny Salah 12
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FEATURE STORY BY VALARIE KAUR
BREAKING THE CYCLE HOLDING ON TO OUR HUMANITY
Our most powerful response to the horror in Israel and Palestine’s to refuse to surrender our humanity. You will be told by some: the deaths of Israeli children are unfortunate but inevitable, because Israel’s occupation of Palestine is brutal and wrong. You will be told by others: the deaths of Palestinian children are unfortunate but inevitable because it is the only way to keep Israel safe from terror, and Hamas brought this on its own people. You will hear: our aggression is the only response to their aggression, our fear more justified than their fear, our grief more devastating than theirs ever will be. But oh, my love, the hierarchy of pain is the old way. The moment we allow our hearts to go numb to the deaths of any children is the moment we shut down our humanity. I don’t know the solution to the conflict in Israel and Palestine. I don’t know how or whether this will end. But I do know the starting point for any solution. To grieve “their” children as our children. To grieve “their” children as our children. It is the only way to break the cycle, to ask what does love want you to do? ∎
VALARIE KAUR (@valariekaur) is a civil rights leader, lawyer, award-winning filmmaker, educator, and author of the #1 LA Times Bestseller SEE NO STRANGER. A daughter of Punjabi Sikh farmers in California, she has led visionary campaigns to tell untold stories and change policy on issues ranging from hate crimes to digital freedom. In Fall 2022, President Biden honored Valarie at the White House in the first-ever Uniters Ceremony, naming her as one of 16 leaders whose work is healing America. Her work has ignited a national movement to reclaim love as a force for justice. Today, she leads the Revolutionary Love Project to inspire and equip people across America to build the beloved community.
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I think forgiving yourself means trusting yourself. CASE KENNY
WRITER, PODCASTER & RECORDING ARTIST 14
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CASE KENNY
BE SO BOLD
LETTING GO OF WHO YOU’RE NOT Case Kenny is the writer, podcaster and recording artist behind The New Mindset Journal. Case refers to himself as a "dudebroguy" because as he says he isn’t “any more enlightened than the average person” but what he does have is a “hunger and drive to become the best person” he can. In his newest book, ‘That’s Bold of You’, he shares how to thrive as your most vibrant, weird and real self. ALLIÉ: Today, let's begin with the story behind the story of your podcast, New Mindset, Who Dis? Please share your journey before your podcast and what inspired you to start it. CASE: I started the podcast in 2018. So, I've been at it for a while, coming up on five, six years. I'm 35 now. When I started I was 29 and basically I just started in reaction to my life. You can call it a quarter life crisis if you want. I don't think crisis is the right word. But basically at that point in my life, I was running a sales team in Chicago advertising technology. I was traveling a lot. I had just gotten out of a relationship and it was just one of those things where I was like, “Man, I don't feel like I'm being honest with myself. I don't feel like I'm being honest about what I'm doing, who I'm dating, how I feel, and all these inner life things.”
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It’s literally self Q&A. CASE KENNY
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“It felt like I was copying and pasting a lot, rather than creating my own timeline and doing my own thing.” CASE: (continued) I was frustrated by that fact because I'm a pretty type ‘A’ person. I worked in sales for a long time. I was always like, "Oh, this is what we're going to do. Here's the plan, we're going to do it." But for some reason, when it came to my inner life, how I felt, what I wanted, and how I looked at life, it just felt very ambiguous. It felt like I was copying and pasting a lot, rather than creating my own timeline and doing my own thing. So literally I started the podcast in response to that. At the time, podcasting was a little younger as a medium than it was today. And I saw just as a vulnerable means to challenge myself, to talk through these things, share what I've learned and use that as a means to live the things that I've learned. Say, “Here’s what I've learned and I'm going to hold myself to doing it.” So that's what I did, and the rest is history, I suppose. But I realized through that process of basically sharing my feelings, what I was actually doing, which was I was actually practicing mindfulness in my own way and my own form of mindfulness. That was what I was doing. And I also realized that, mindfulness is a muscle. I've done 530 episodes, and you can't help but get better at being honest with yourself more than through the practice of mindfulness and doing it hundreds and hundreds of times. And here we are today. And in the process of social media, writing books, quitting my job and all that kind of stuff. But really the mission has remained the same which is, share my feelings… share my feelings for myself, and for other people. And it's been very, very, very rewarding. ALLIÉ: Well, sharing is caring. So, thank you for caring enough to share as you have and as you do. Speaking to the fact that mindfulness is the central theme in your work, what are some, just a couple off the cuff, practical mindfulness techniques or practices that you personally find beneficial? CASE: I would say two right off the bat. The most practical form of mindfulness, for one, it's journaling. I think journaling is such a great entry point into a mindfulness practice, because a lot of times we talk ourselves out of mindfulness. What is mindfulness? I have to meditate, I've got to get a therapist and I've got to go on a silent retreat. All very valid forms of mindfulness, of course. But I find that our aversion and our misunderstanding of mindfulness is what leads us to think it's this convoluted, overly spiritual thing. Whereas journaling, it's literally self Q&A. Get a journal, whether it's one of mine or someone else's, sit down, face yourself with one question and force yourself to be honest about it. No judgment, all humility, no ego, sit down and just answer the question. It’s a great entry point. Another one is music. Music is a big part of what I do. I work with a lot of artists and producers to infuse mindfulness into their music and bring their music to my mindfulness, audience and the whole thing. But the reason I do that is, what greater medium out there is there other than music to make you feel a certain way? That's literally the purpose of music. Music makes you feel happy, nostalgic, healed, energetic, peaceful, and whatever it may be. Infuse music into a mindfulness practice. Whether that's just sitting down and be like, all right, I just want to be honest with myself for a bit, put on the right music. Or whether you want to amp yourself up to finally do something, use music. I think it's such a vulnerable, emotionally catalyzing medium that we'd be remiss to not use it. So I say those two as very simple answers. ALLIÉ: Journaling and music. And I love how you reference journaling as ‘Q&A with yourself’, you know? CASE: Yeah, very simple. 17
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We as humans are wired to have an attachment to potential and what could have been. CASE KENNY
WRITER, PODCASTER & RECORDING ARTIST 18
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“I think comparison is the ultimate gateway drug into loneliness.” ALLIÉ: If you don't mind, let's talk for a moment about relationships because you've talked a bit about that. You've talked about the power of letting go of expectations and attachments and relationships. In letting go of those, what is it that we should be holding onto when it comes to relationships? CASE: Well, it's a good question. I think the idea of letting go has a lot of different layers to it. Are we letting go of the person or the memories? Like what exactly are we letting go of? I think the idea of ‘letting go’ is letting go of attachment. We should never let go of the good memories we have from someone. I really don't think there's ever something called "failed love”. There's always something redeeming from it. I think the sign of a mature person is their ability to say, I'm no longer with this person. Yeah, maybe it ended in a dumpster fire, but there were good memories, and I'm going to appreciate those good memories as chapters in my life. I'm not going to throw them away because it didn't end in a fairytale ending. I'm going to appreciate them. The challenge, of course, is we as humans are wired to have an attachment to potential and what could have been. And we'll go round and round in our heads of detailing out what we're missing out on, on the chapter that didn't happen. I don't think that's very serving. Certainly I think there's purpose in sitting down and understanding what went wrong, and why the next level wasn't reached. But to have an attachment to what could have been, I think only holds you back from being in reality, and from starting another chapter. So that's what I think we should let go of. Hold onto the lessons, of course. Hold onto what you learned, that's the most valuable part of failed love. As a compassionate human being, though you should hold onto good memories, the sign of a mature person, again, it's the ability to say, those were good times. I don't have to go back to them to appreciate them. I don't have to belabor the fact that it didn't lead to something else to appreciate what I had. So I think somewhere in the mix there is the idea of holding on versus letting go. And I think it really just sets you up to be in the present, to appreciate what you had, to learn from it, but then to set yourself free to go find a more permanent, more rewarding, and more compassionate version of that. ALLIÉ: Such great advice. So finding the wins within the loss. They're always there. There's always something to gain. So let's talk now for a minute about a different kind of relationship, the relationship between social media and personal development. In your opinion, can technology be a good tool for personal growth? Or do you feel that it often hinders it? CASE: I was just talking about this. I'm never going to be that person who's like, social media has ruined this, that, or the other. I think social media is a gift. We've never been more connected in our lives and I think that that's always beneficial. It's always beneficial. To understand the similarities in the human experience, to be inspired by people doing great things, to be able to DM someone you've never met who's halfway across the globe and connect to that person, yes, that's freaking amazing. There is a tremendous downside, of course, and that is just nonstop comparison. And I think comparison is the ultimate gateway drug into loneliness. I'll even leave it there. I think comparison it could be like the ultimate decline of humanity if we don't learn to get our comparison in check. Because social media is unlimited comparison. I saw a stat the other day that 10% of our daily thoughts are dedicated to comparing ourselves. And I think we have like 10,000 thoughts a day or something like that. So 1,000 individual thoughts a day are dedicated to me comparing myself. And it's likely because of social media. So I think what we have to get our heads around is this… How do we use these pieces of technology in a compassionate way? And that's a boring subject, but I think it's so important to be able to say, I can use social media and compare myself from a place of inspiration, not a place of lack. That is where the magic lives. If we can delineate that as opposed to default mode always being, "They have this, I don't, I need that, they're better than me, they're on the right timeline, and I’m falling behind, whatever it may be." If we can figure out a way to have more self-control and compare from a place of inspiration rather than lack, I think we're in a space. If we can't, then we're in trouble. I don't have the answer. The answer would be, don't do that. But I'm sure there's a 19
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“You put it on something that people can touch, feel and resonate with it…” CASE: (continued) more educated way to say that. But I think it's good and bad, of course. Same with dating apps. Dating apps are great. If you want a partner, you got to go fishing where the fish are. Of course it's fantastic. But then we get into trouble with, oh, there's always another partner, or I don't need to take this seriously because I could just swipe again. So there's downsides to everything that's good in life. Anything in excess is going to be harmful. So I think we just need a measure of discipline and a measure of awareness of how something can detract from our lives. And I think we'll be more suited to use it in a compassionate way. ALLIÉ: I completely agree. Now, let’s talk more about words. In addition to hearing your words on your podcast, they can be read in your books and responded to in your journals. Regarding your journaling, when did you first pick up a pen and begin to journal? CASE: It was 2019. And really it was an interesting thing because again, I'm a pretty practical guy. I don't consider myself overly spiritual. I consider getting into the self-development space to the story earlier, to come from a pretty practical place. And I remember in 2018, 2019, seeing a lot of people talk. Like Tim Ferris, "I get up in the morning, I have a 5:00 AM routine, I journal and then I go about my day." And I was like, “Wow, man, this guy seems pretty happy and pretty successful. Maybe I should start journaling.” If I remember very distinctly, somewhere in 2018, 2019, going out and buying a bunch of journals. I bought like a dozen of them. I just went nuts. And I remember being like, "I'm going to be a journal guy.” This sounds great to me, to be able to write and feel better about myself. And I just remember trying those journals and not really getting it because I found at that point that the journals fit one of two molds. They were either too prompted to the point where it was, do this in the morning, come back at noon, hold yourself accountable, goals, productivity, this, that, and the other. I was more stressed out journaling than I am not journaling. Or they were blank sheet of paper. "How are you feeling? Share what's on your heart today." And I'm a little too ADD for that. So I was just like, "Oh, shiny." And I just couldn't really do it. So my first foray, I was like, "Man, maybe Journaling is not for me." But again, as a type A, entrepreneur type person, I was like, "Well, I wanted a journal so bad, maybe I should create a journal for myself.” So that's how I got into creating journals. But it's also how I got into journaling myself. I decided to create what I thought was a good mix of prompted and unprompted and focus on questions that just force you to check in, but that are specific. And then one big meaty tough question that you can take 10 minutes on and that's that. So the whole process takes 15 minutes. From there, I've never looked back. I've never looked back in the sense of creating these journals. I've created a bunch for myself and different emotions, whether it's clarity or healing or closure or anxiety or manifestation. I'm about to come up with another one soon. But I'm the ultimate consumer of my own products. So I really create these journals for myself, the questions that I need to answer, and likely the ones that I've been avoiding. And I never looked back. ALLIÉ: So let's hear this story now… I'm very interested to know the story of your red pen and the notes that you leave with it around Chicago. They seemed to be self-love notes to the world. How did this handwritten note writing and sharing start? Where did it begin? CASE: It started during COVID. For one, I was just hanging out in my apartment in Chicago. I live in Miami now, but I'll be back in Chicago. But I've been in Chicago for over a decade. I had all this time and I was doing the podcast. So again, this came from a very practical place. I was like "I want more people to listen to the podcast." I should find a way to summarize my thoughts and get people to be like, "Oh, that's a good thought. Maybe I'll listen to this podcast." And I was like, "Well, I could do what a lot of people do. I could fire up Photoshop, create a little one by one, put a little digital quote on it and call it a day.” But I was sitting at my standing desk in Chicago, I had a coffee cup that was blank and I was looking out over the Chicago River as I lived downtown. And I was like, "Why don't I combine the two greatest assets I have, which is living in an amazing, beautiful city and at the point, at that time, having a coffee cup." I was like, "Why don't I write on relatable materials, things that people can touch, feel and smell. Take it offline." I just had this theory that, maybe the fact that you put a quote in a context that people can relate to. You put it on something that people can touch, feel and resonate with it. So that's how it started. And those blew up. I never really looked back. 21
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The real magic of life comes then when you unbecome and unlearn. CASE KENNY
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CASE: (continued) I put them up all around Chicago and Miami. I've now gotten more into a cleaner medium of just writing on a sheet of paper. And those do really well on social media. But really the incentive has been the same from a purpose perspective, which is that I can do these podcasts where I talk for 20 minutes on end and I don't shut up. But mastery of a subject is reflected in being able to simply explain it. So I need to be able to write something in 12 words that I could take 20 minutes explaining. That will show me that I know what I'm talking about, also it'll be a good reminder for me, and also it'll be a good reminder for other people. So really, it's been an exercise in creative simplicity, how I can simplify really complex thoughts, and then also social media. I want people to relate. I want people to share them. I want people to feel good about themselves through them. So it's been a balance of all those things. My handwriting has gotten a lot better over the years. I save all the quotes. They're all real, they're not digital. I don't write on an iPad or anything. They're pieces of paper. I've got a stack of sketchbooks over there looking at it. I do some events and speaking events where I'll go and I'll put up all the quotes on a wall and showcase them. So it's big. It's kind of back to the journaling thing. I think there's a lot of power in the mind, and body connection. And for me to sit down and write something physically, it just makes it more real to me. I really enjoy it as a creative outlet. ALLIÉ: Yes… And because we spend so much time existing in a world made of pixels, that when we're able to touch something, feel something, and be part of something that's real, that's awesome. CASE: Well said. Yes. ALLIÉ: So I love that your newest book, That's Bold of You, is referenced this way, ‘How to Thrive as Your Most Vibrant, Weird, and Real Self’. So at this point in time, I would like to get very personal, Case. What do you think is the weirdest thing about yourself? CASE: The weirdest thing about myself? Who knows? I do all kinds of weird things from foods that I eat… I eat like a toddler. A 35 year old man, but dino nugs and mashed potatoes. Who knows? So many weird things. Everyone’s got little quirks and little preferences. When I think about being weird, I just think about being real. And people gravitate towards that word because people like to be weird this, and weird that. But I think for me to get to where I am today, I had to get to a point where I embraced being weird, and being cringe. These words that I think previously are labels that are detrimental to who we are and I wanted to take back the power of them. I think if you talk to 20-year-old Case, I would never want to seem weird to someone. Never, ever. And now I love being weird because that means that I'm being true. Not in a quirky way trying to be weird or whatever, but just being true to myself. And so I really just wanted to bring that word back. It had been a label that so many of us had lived in fear of that I wanted to bring it back to us. And that really was the goal of that word. And I think we all have weird things about us, whether it's like overtly weird or whether it's just weird in the sense that it makes us stand out or it makes us a little bit different. But I think it's such a powerful word because it reflects truth, and that's really what I wanted to do. ALLIÉ: Wow, well done with that. So let's get back to this. The book specifically, That's Bold of You, is about letting go of who you're not. And the thing of it is that most people spend their entire lives trying to figure out who they are, not who they're not. So my question for you now is why do you feel that's really important to define who you're not? CASE: Yeah, it's such a great point. Well, I think for two reasons. The first is, you think about life, it's like in life you grow up and you're just a sponge. You're just absorbing. You're absorbing what your parents tell you, what college tells you, what friends tell you, and what your social media tells you. You're just absorbing these things, and you're picking and choosing, hopefully. But for the most part, your early teens, your teens, your early twenties, all your twenties probably, it's just a measure of copying and pasting. You're taking what other people tell you, you're absorbing a lot, you're trying a lot, and you're doing all these things. So really that is a time of becoming. You're becoming more, but likely it's through the process of mimicking and being inspired, which is good. Just what I've realized in my thirties is that the real process of becoming yourself is about letting go of a lot of those things, hanging onto what really matters to you, and then rocking and rolling with that moving forward. You need the experience of trying and failing, copying and pasting. You need that. But the real magic of life comes then when you unbecome and unlearn. I truly do believe that. And from the perspective of what you're saying, it's a little bit of a word play. You're unbecoming to become, you're unlearning to learn and you're doing all these things. And I just think that's for one, a 23
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What can we let go of ? CASE KENNY
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“I just very much gravitate towards the middle, average people sharing average things.” CASE: (continued) great journal exercise. One of my favorite journal prompts that I like to do is the question of, what don't you want to regret? You answer that in order to figure out what you want to do, you reverse into it because it's easy to say, "Oh, I want to do that, because that's that person, and that's that person." The idea of regret frankly is only relative to you. It's one of the most personal questions. I'm not going to borrow regrets. I’m going to say this is what I'm afraid of. I'm scared to death of regretting this thing. Let's use that to back into what I want in life. It's the same idea with the book. It's like, what can we let go of? There's chapters on the idea of mimetic desire, which is the idea of, we were just mimicking our way through life. How can we take that and inspire ourselves to say, "Okay, here's my perspectives, here's my wants, here's my desires, which of these is actually true to me?" And we're going to let go of the rest. I've just realized that as humans, we're so hardwired to think that the key to life and happiness is ‘more’ and ‘better’. And I certainly think that's true in a lot of senses, but I've just realized that oftentimes it's different and simpler, and the magic is probably somewhere in between. But the only way to figure out what different and simpler looks like is to take a step back and unlearn some of those more and better efforts that we've just been pounding into our heads without really thinking about it. ALLIÉ: I love just that reference of unlearning things, because there's so much that we learn that does not serve us well. So when we can figure out, and delineate what to unlearn. So many people look at you Case as a source of inspiration. So question for you now, who are some of the individuals that inspire and motivate you in your own personal development? CASE: So, I'll give an answer. I hope it doesn't come across as a non-answer. It's ironic, I've always struggled with looking up to other self-help people. I like James Clear, for instance, I like Atomic Habits, and I like Ryan Holiday, for instance. I enjoy some of Jay's Shetty stuff. I know Louis, and I know a lot of the people on the scene. I very much respect them and look up to them in a sense, of course. But it's back to the issue earlier, if I am just regurgitating what other smart, driven, creative, self-aware people are saying, then we're backed into a corner again. A lot of it is great, but some of it isn't great for me. I'm going to have to unlearn a lot of that. So for me I don't read a lot of self-help books. I really don't listen to a lot of podcasts. For one, because I like to create more than I consume, which as an author is a slippery slope because as an author, you need to be really well read. So I try to consume as much as possible, but I actually read a lot on Reddit, the website. The reason I do that is because it's just normal people. It's everyday people. There's no incentive on Reddit other than comments and some people enjoying what you have to say. But it's normal people going through heartbreak and sharing what they've learned, failing in their career, and sharing what they've learned, all these things that I think are so universal, and they're just sharing just to share. I've gotten so much life changing value from Reddit in addition to James, Ryan, Lewis, Jay, Mel and Rachel Hollis and all these people who I know personally as well. I just very much gravitate towards the middle, average people sharing average things. One of my favorite quotes comes from an anonymous person on Reddit. Just some random person said this and then signed off and was never heard from again. They wrote, "The difference between a head full of memories and a head full of regret is your ability to forgive yourself.” That's been my guiding light. I read that on Reddit. Some random person on Reddit wrote that. Anyway, I hope that's a good answer. I just really gravitate towards normal everyday people. I get a lot of value. I'm very inspired by some of the great authors, podcasters and influencers in this space. But for me, it's just, I like the grounding of normalcy. To me that's very inspiring. 25
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Learning to love yourself, I think will naturally come from forgiving yourself. CASE KENNY
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ALLIÉ: That was very much an answer not a non-answer for sure. CASE: All right. ALLIÉ: One more question for you today, Case, is this… With your work, you have a way, and even when we're speaking now of making, self-understanding, self-worth, and self-love seems so easy. For those who are having a hard time finding self-love in a self-critical world, what advice would you share with them right here and right now? CASE: Well, I'd say to the topic of the theme that we're developing just in talking for a couple minutes here is, you can't sit down and just love yourself to infinity. You can't force self-love. I wish you could. I wish you could say, "Okay, I'm just going to love myself." Noise, distraction, other people gets in the way of that. So perhaps the better way to approach the subject is, how can I remove the self-hate, the self-criticism, the self-doubt, the imposter syndrome, and unbecome those things. And I think the only option then is going to be, all right, well, maybe I've got more going for me. Maybe I could trust myself. Maybe I could forgive myself. So that would be my answer. And I think self-love comes when you learn to forgive yourself, certainly. So I think self-forgiveness is always going to play a role in anyone's journey. Whether it's a healing journey, whether it's a journey to discover yourself or whatever level we're putting on it, Learning to love yourself, I think will naturally come from forgiving yourself. And forgiveness is one of those topics that is a little ambiguous. What does it mean to forgive yourself? I think forgiving yourself means trusting yourself. I think a lack of forgiveness comes when we don't trust ourselves. Namely, when we look back and we say, "Man, I messed that up so bad." And maybe you did. Maybe you messed something up. Maybe you did make the wrong decision in your past. Maybe you did very much disappoint yourself or someone else in the past. Forgiving yourself can take a long time. Coming to terms with things in the past could take a long time. Deciding to trust yourself despite a past mistake, and despite past pain, that's doable. You could say, okay. It might take me a while to really make sense of that thing. I need some more perspective. I need some experience before I could really understand that. But I could decide right now in this moment that I can trust myself again, and that I'm willing to try again. And I think that kind of incentive can really get the ball rolling. Then to start what we just talked about, unbecoming some of these things, unlearning some of these things, and fighting back against these things. I think eventually it will lead to a space where self-love comes naturally. You can't force it. You could read all my quotes, you could read other people's quotes, and it could be little sparks here and there, but you need to find a way to internalize it consistently. And I think that really does come from letting go and forgiveness. ∎
Follow Case on Instagram (@case.kenny). Tune into to ‘New Mindset, Who Dis?’: awarenow.us/podcast/new-mindset-who-dis Purchase ‘That’s Bold of You’: awarenow.us/book/thats-bold-of-you
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I firmly believe that, in principle, children do not see or care about differences in skin color… IVOLAINE DE NOBREGA
SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR, BLACK IMPACT FOUNDATION BOARD MEMBER & FOUNDER OF STREETPRO 28
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH IVOLAINE
A FIGHT WORTH FIGHTING
A CONVERSATION ABOUT EQUALITY, AWARENESS & ACTION Ivolaine de Nobrega is a social entrepreneur with a legal and sports marketing background. As the founder of several foundations for underprivileged young people, Ivolaine is a strong advocate for social equality. Striving to build, further develop, sustain and protect an inclusive society, where no one is left behind, she is a board member of the Black Impact Foundation who works to create a cohesive global black community where black people across the globe are empowered to take control and improve the quality of their lives, assert their value, and be protected from exploitation while building their capacity for social economic independence and social responsibility. ALLIÉ: When it comes to racism, everyone experiences it in different ways and at different times. Not only do we as adults experience it, our children do as well. And sometimes they don’t see it, but we do. Can you share a specific time, Ivolaine, when your child experienced racism? IVOLAINE: I firmly believe that, in principle, children do not see or care about differences in skin color; it is we adults who instill racial biases in their minds. As a parent, I've encountered numerous instances where my black-skinned son faced differential treatment compared to my white-skinned one. He was subjected to more frequent scrutiny by law
A FIGHT WORTH FIGHTING EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH IVOLAINE DE NOBREGA BY ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
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As a parent, your utmost desire is to ensure your child’s happiness and support him or her in building a successful life. IVOLAINE DE NOBREGA
SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR, BLACK IMPACT FOUNDATION BOARD MEMBER & FOUNDER OF STREETPRO 30
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“Naturally, you seek to shield them from life’s disappointments and protect them from negative experiences.” IVOLAINE: (continued) enforcement, subjected to racial comments, and offered fewer opportunities at school. The first time my black son became aware of what it meant to 'be different' from his white peers was when he was around 8 years old. In the Netherlands, we celebrate Sinterklaas on December 5th. This tradition involves a figure similar to Santa Claus, accompanied by characters known as Black Petes, portrayed by white individuals with black-painted faces, who serve as Sinterklaas's helpers. Traditionally, children are allowed to paint their faces black when Sinterklaas visits their school. However, this was not the case for my son. His teacher, in front of all the other children, told him he didn't need to paint his face because he was already black. This single remark had a profound impact on my child. It not only made him acutely aware of his skin color but also drew the attention of his classmates to it. This inappropriate comment made him feel like an outsider within his own peer group because of his different skin tone. Consequently, from that day onward, he became the target of racist bullying by the very same children who had once been his friends, solely due to his skin color. Needless to say that we don’t celebrate Sinterklaas anymore in our household. As he grew older, I began to observe that he wasn't given the same opportunities at school as his white peers. Despite his intelligence, my son received lower grades than his white less intelligent classmates. What troubled me even more was that many of his colored friends were facing similar challenges. This unjust treatment led to demotivation, a decline in their self-esteem, and a bleak outlook on their futures. Throughout the Netherlands, we witnessed a rising trend of young people dropping out of school, a direct consequence of the systemic inequality present in our Dutch education system. In response, I decided to take action and founded StreetPro in 2014. StreetPro is an organization dedicated to empowering and motivating young individuals who have disengaged from the traditional school system. Our mission is to assist them in taking control of their lives, make them aware of their unique talents, unlock their potential and guide them towards an educational path that resonates with their unique needs, enabling them to obtain their diplomas. To date, we have successfully supported over 1,400 young people in their journey to return to school and graduate. The majority of our participants have a migration background. What's remarkable is that we unfortunately do not receive the same level of government funding as some other organizations. That's why we depend on the support of private individuals and organizations so that we hopefully can continue our crucial work. ALLIÉ: As parents, when we address racism with our children, they learn something and sometimes we do too. Will you share the story of the lesson you shared with your son and the lesson you learned as a mother? IVOLAINE: As a parent, your utmost desire is to ensure your child's happiness and support him or her in building a successful life. Naturally, you seek to shield them from life's disappointments and protect them from negative experiences. However, I must acknowledge a significant mistake I made as a parent: I told my son when he was about 16 or 17 years old that he needed to work harder and put in considerably more effort to excel beyond his white peers, because society would judge him based on the color of his skin. 31
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“We can unlock the untapped potential within our community, affect positive change and create lasting impact on a global scale.” IVOLAINE: (continued) Years later, I realized that I had repeated the same mistake made by his teachers when he was just 8 years old. In my role as a parent, I had unintentionally conveyed the message that he was somehow inferior to his white peers. I had allowed my own biases to cloud my perspective, rather than recognizing and celebrating his unique talents and qualities. Regrettably, this had a detrimental impact on his self-image and selfconfidence. Because it was his parent that told him this, not an outsider. Instead, I should have consistently encouraged him and made it clear to him that he should never feel inferior to anyone else.that he should be proud of who he is and his origins. And that he had to have rock-solid confidence in himself that he can achieve anything he wants. I am grateful that this significant mistake has become my most profound lesson. It's a lesson I now apply when mentoring young individuals, and one I am passing on to my youngest son. Despite my bad judgment back then, my son has emerged as a confident young man with a resilient character who knows his aspirations and how to pursue them. ALLIÉ: You began your career working hard to climb the corporate ladder to advance, but now you climb a different ladder, one that seeks social and economic improvement of disadvantaged youngsters and supports the advancement of the Black community. Here enters the Black Impact Foundation. Please share the mission and vision you serve. IVOLAINE: The Black Impact Foundation strongly believes that an inclusive global society starts with equal opportunities for everyone. Therefore our focus is to build one global black community and use our resources to unlock the untapped potential within our community and create lasting impact on a global scale. We must start to believe and trust in our own collective power. Other groups have a global community and strengthen each other from within their own community, but black people historically don’t have that. This stems from our slavery past and the mistrust that was implanted in us during that time. That is why it is time for us to unite and support each other and use our talents to create our own norms and structures and ensure that generations after us can successfully thrive in an equal and inclusive world. ALLIÉ: People of color have faced adversity in every timeline and every nation. Racism is a global issue that requires a global response. On November 30th in Dubai, this will be addressed. For those unaware, what can people expect to see and hear at the 2023 Global Black Impact Summit? IVOLAINE: The Global Black Impact Summit is not about racism, but serves as a platform to illuminate the achievements and highlight the talents, creativity, and brilliance that exist within our community. The theme of GBIS this year is ‘Black Excellence: The Untapped Potential to unite our global community.’ Through a series of engaging discussions, inspiring keynote speeches, interactive workshops, and networking opportunities, we aim to foster dialogue, collaboration, and the exchange of ideas among leaders, innovators, and visionaries from diverse sectors and backgrounds. We believe that by empowering individuals, fostering innovation, and cultivating strong leadership, we can unlock the untapped potential within our community, affect positive change and create lasting impact on a global scale. We continue to operate within a framework largely influenced by a white perspective, a phenomenon deeply rooted in our historical experiences of disenfranchisement. This historical legacy has, in many ways, placed us in a subordinate position within the broader establishment. For many in the Black community, the pursuit of acceptance remains a significant aspiration. 32
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IVOLAINE: (continued) Consider, for instance, Black Achievement/History Month. It is meant to celebrate and shine light on the many great achievements of Black individuals over the years. Some argue that the month was given as a way to placate Black people for the broader erasure of our accomplishments and feats. In contrast, there isn’t an equivalent for white history because the assumption of a month isn’t needed to celebrate something that is selfevident. In other words, white accomplishments and fears are so ingrained into our culture and society that it would be duplicative to celebrate it for one month. Ideally, we will get to a place as a society where it is the same for the accomplishments of Black people. The celebration and acknowledgement will be so entrenched into society that the month won’t be needed. But until then, we recognize how important representation, acknowledgment and celebration of our accomplishments are. ALLIÉ: Let’s end this conversation with where we need to begin. With awareness alone, racism will never end. It is only with action, that we can begin to see the change we want and need. For those who want to fight racism but have no idea how, what advice do you have? IVOLAINE: A first step is that we must recognize that we are victors and not victims. When we perceive ourselves as victims, we surrender our power to others. By identifying as victims, we hinder the progress we seek. Throughout history, the world has borne witness to the remarkable strength and resilience of Black individuals who have defied insurmountable odds, dismantled barriers across diverse domains and overcome adversity. It is imperative that we cultivate a fresh perspective centered on our inherent strength and untapped potential. Second, let's begin by acknowledging that we, as black individuals, are the narrative itself. There's no need to craft a new one. It's time we have faith in our own abilities and cease waiting for an invitation to join the predominantly white tables. Within our community, we possess more than enough excellence to initiate our own tables. Finally, traditionally, humans have categorized themselves by nationality, skin color, sexual orientation, and various other factors. Such categorization itself is not inherently problematic. However, issues arise when these categories become associated with prejudice and negative stereotypes, laying the foundation for racism and discrimination. It's essential to recognize that our skin color does not define our identity; we are far more than just labels of black, white, yellow, red, or any other description. When we interact with one another, our primary perspective should be to see the shared humanity within each person. Regardless of our origin or skin color, we are all part of the same human race. It is counterproductive to place people into often biased boxes solely based on their color. Instead, we should strive to celebrate the rich diversity that makes our world vibrant and unique, while always remembering our common bond as members of the human family. ∎
Learn more about the Black Impact Foundation: www.blackimpactfoundation.com Find details about the 2023 Global Black Impact Summit: www.globalblackimpact.com
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I do believe that everyone has the ability to create… ANDREW SOLIDAY
MARKETING DIRECTOR AT HILLERICH & BRADSBY CO. Photo Credit: Laura Sharpe 34
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‘FELLOW TRAVELERS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LAURA SHARPE
WHERE ART MEETS WOOD & WONDER CREATIVITY. CONNECTIVITY. COMMUNITY.
A creative, fluid leader and writer set to empower change, Andrew Soliday is the Marketing Director at Hillerich & Bradsby Co. who started making baseball bats in 1884. Located in downtown Louisville, KY, their campus hosts the largest baseball bat in the world and houses their world-famous Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory. In partnership with Artists for Trauma (AFT), this is where wood met wonder, as AFT presented 4 Interactive art workshops for all ages and abilities. Instead of being met with a ball, bats were met with creativity, colliding in an experience that inspired and empowered. LAURA: From the forest to the field, the Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory shares the process behind the product of what is one of America’s most widely recognized and used instruments in sports - the bat, specifically, the Louisville Slugger. Recognized in Forbes as ‘one of the greatest sports museums in the world’, Andrew, what is it about this place that makes it so special? ANDREW: This museum is a place where our guests can experience things they won’t see anywhere else. This is a place that is not just for baseball fans, it’s a place for really anyone. We are all about the connection to the imagination and creating unforgettable experiences. Whether it be guests approaching our 120’ Big Bat or seeing the magic of a cylindrical piece of wood turn into a bat right in front of your eyes. Additionally, baseball is a sport that so many people have a connection to whether they played or not. So much of what people feel about baseball exists in the form of nostalgia. LAURA: Not only is your place amazing, your purpose in the community is incredible. If you would, please share how you serve the community of Louisville that Artists For Trauma is now proud to be part of. ANDREW: Hillerich & Bradsby Co. has deep roots in the city of Louisville, as the Hillerich family moved here more than 150 years ago. We are a fifth-generation family-owned and operated business. Our community has been supporting us for countless years and we have had a number of events over the years to support our community. That could range anywhere from our annual Halloween event at the museum for the kiddos, to doing amazing community art workshops like we did with you all. I am so proud of our company’s willingness to be so ingrained into our community. It really does make me have a sense of pride and belonging at our organization. LAURA: What brought you to where you are now, Andrew? How is it that you came to Louisville Slugger? ANDREW: I moved from Indianapolis to Louisville back in 2015. I was up in Indy working on my Masters in Fine Arts in creative writing at Butler University. That’s also where I met my wife, Kendra. Louisville was our ‘getaway’ town, as it was only 90 minutes south. We immediately fell in love with the city and more specifically, the uniqueness of the neighborhoods. We felt this warm and overwhelming sense of welcomeness to all the different restaurants and pubs we checked out. We kept going back and back and back. We got married in 2015 and took a blind leap to move to Louisville to build our careers. Here we are today. Loving life. 35
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“I’ve always been drawn to the idea of stringing words together and trying to find some level of meditation within the mundane.” LAURA: When you aren’t at the museum and factory, where are you, Andrew? How do you spend your time outside your walls of work? ANDREW: To say I’m an avid runner would be an understatement. This has become my all around passion, as I find myself running basically every day. Outside of that fun little personal space I carve for myself to start my mornings, I am usually with my wife and our three geriatric chihuahuas: Taz, Tink and Tino. Those are our little monsters. Combined they all weigh about 16 pounds and have a total of 9 teeth. Bringing dogs into our lives has been a complete game-changer for us, as we don’t have children. Not only are they complete goof balls, but they are immensely therapeutic to be around. They’re always excited to see us, even when they are yapping up a storm. LAURA: It’s been said that baseball connects generations. Art does this as well. Art connects different ages and different abilities with an invitation to create. When you create art, Andrew, what form does it take? Painting, poetry, carving, clay… What is your medium of choice? ANDREW: My masters was in poetry, so I would consider that my medium. I’ve always been drawn to the idea of stringing words together and trying to find some level of meditation within the mundane. I do believe that everyone has the ability to create, as the imagination is within all of us. Sorry to make generalizations, but I do believe this. I know it sounds cliché, but to find an outlet for yourself, is how we explore and express ourselves. To me, once you find that stride in creating, much like running, it becomes addicting. From there it becomes something we want to share with others in search for connection. ∎
Learn more about the Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory: Follow on Instagram (@Slugger_museum) and on Facebook/Twitter (@Sluggermuseum) LAURA SHARPE Artists For Trauma Founder & Chief Executive Officer, Trauma Survivor & Artist www.awarenessties.us/laura-sharpe LAURA SHARPE contributes to AwareNow with her exclusive column, ‘Fellow Travelers’. Trauma, tragedy and miracle are all part of the life process. They do not discriminate nor are they fairly distributed. Simultaneously they occur across all diverse cultures, countries, colors, ethnicities, genders, religious beliefs, and dimensions of time and thought on planet Earth. In this process of life, birth and re-birth; decay and destruction are integral to creating new life. As fellow travelers, we are mindful, compassionate, and intentional through our attitude and actions to one another. We share our authentic personal story of survival or service to offer relatability, respect and hope to others who are navigating intense physical, mental and emotional life impact. Uncomfortably or joyfully, we share the range of human emotions related to our personal trauma or miracle. In the end or the new beginning, we learn we are all fellow travelers.
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ORIGINAL POETRY BY ANDREW SOLIDAY
GUACAMOLE
The inside of the avocado holds a vital organ the shape of a baby’s fist. Perhaps, inside of the organ is a shadow of a baby’s fist. A knife splits the organ for removal. I wonder how I’d be as a surgeon. Would I revel in the glory of removing a pus-filled growth from inside a stomach, and holding it high above my head offering the clunky mass to the medical gods? Would my assistants applaud as innards dripped from my hands? I used to be terrified of glory, but I now respect the feeling after avoiding a head-on collision. The car behind me was struck. I still hear the man in that car begging to see his wife. The fear of glory has passed but I was terrified of so much then and am now. Take for instance a broken umbrella in a bathtub. Take for instance the silhouette of a man with his arm raised. Take for instance telling a dog to fuck off before he is put down due to bad joints. When it’s time to spoon out the meat, my eyes are fixed on the smooth dip where the organ used to be, but I begin to salivate, nonetheless. It is normal, right? I wonder how I’d be in the wilderness. Would I salivate the same after smashing a trout’s face on a pointed rock? Would the trout have organs the shape of a baby’s fist, or would they be the shape of my own fist? I used to be terrified of pointed rocks, but I respect their uses in those horror film scenes when the villain slips from a ledge, falls in slow motion, reaches out to nothing, and then is impaled with his vital organs falling out in a rehearsed fashion. After the death of the villain, the protagonist goes on to lead a normal life until the sequel is put into production. The fear-of-glory-thing and stones have passed, but I was terrified of so much then and now. Take for instance a punctured wall from a boy scout manual thrown at a sibling’s head. Take for instance a storm approaching from the west after I tie several balloons to a tree. Take for instance a bloodied pillow below the head. The meat is ready to be eaten. The flesh and the organ lie on the cutting board beside the greened knife. 39
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Stay your course and stay connected to yourself. KRISTIN MCGEE
PELOTON YOGA INSTRUCTOR, FITNESS INFLUENCER & AUTHOR Photo Credit: Courtesy of Peloton 40
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH KRISTIN MCGEE
TILTING THE BALANCE FINDING FAVOR IN LIFE AND ON THE MAT
Growing up in a small town in Idaho, Kristin had big dreams of pursuing dance and acting in New York, but ended up as one of the most sought after and recognized yoga instructors in the city. Throughout her career, Kristin has been a pioneer in making yoga more accessible. Kristin has starred in yoga DVD’s, has privately trained celebrities and has written books about the value of yoga in everyday life. As a busy mom of three boys, Kristin strongly believes that just a few minutes of yoga a day can bring more balance and harmony to your life. ALLIÉ: People remember their first times. Kristin, do you remember your first time… the very first time ever stepped onto a mat? When and how did you first find yoga? KRISTIN: Okay. This is a good story, and it was a magical moment for me because it almost felt like I had been doing yoga before in a past life. I don't know how to explain this. It's when you hear a song on the radio for the first time, but yet you almost recognize the song from before. I was studying acting at NYU, and my teacher announced that one of our colleagues studying at Stella Adler was going through a yoga teacher training and would be available in the
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I felt at home in my body… KRISTIN MCGEE
PELOTON YOGA INSTRUCTOR, FITNESS INFLUENCER & AUTHOR Photo Credit: Courtesy of Peloton 42
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“It felt like I had found another little community within this big city that was safe, warm, welcoming, and taught me things I had never discovered before.” KRISTIN: (continued) morning to guide us in yoga if we had a desire to show up at 7:00 AM before our school day. I thought, "Yeah, this sounds great. Why don't I try it?" I walked in, and it was Nikki Costello who was doing a teacher training at the Jivamukti right up the block from Stella Adler. She's now an incredible Iyengar teacher. Nikki sat us down, and I think I did my first "Om" ever. We started with some chanting, and then she led us through a yoga sequence. I remember thinking that Chaturanga was the hardest move I had ever discovered at that point. But I also felt like I had come home, like I'd finally discovered an exercise or a form of movement that felt so good and so natural. ALLIÉ: After you found yoga, what made you fall in love with it? And when did you decide to make a career of it? KRISTIN: I honestly want to say I fell in love with it because of the community. I felt very much at home, the same way I felt at home in my body when I was on my mat. I felt at home in the studio when I would go to practice. Immediately after that first class, I went up to Nikki and asked her where she was doing this and how I could do it more. She explained it was at the Jivamukti studio, and I could come and take class with her. Right then and there, she became a part of my community in New York City. Coming from a small town in Idaho to New York to study acting, it felt like I had found another little community within this big city that was safe, warm, welcoming, and taught me things I had never discovered before. It taught me how to completely relax my body at the end of a class, how to listen to my breath, how to become aware of my thoughts in a non-judgmental way, and how to move in shapes that opened up space in my body that I never realized was possible. It was the community at Jivamukti that kept me coming back to the practice time and time again, and those "aha" moments that I kept having. I think there are many of them in the beginning when you start practicing yoga, and it's like they're one after another. You then hit a period of just practicing, but there are times in your life when you go through another major growth period in your practice and discover new "aha" moments. It's a beautiful way of living. ALLIÉ: So, you and I go way back. While this is the first we’re ever talking, I practiced with you over 20 years ago when I put an MTV Yoga DVD into my player. I was going through the hardest time of my life. My son was born with subglottic stenosis and had to have a tracheotomy to breathe. While every inhale and exhale was a blessing, it was hard. It was you, Kristin, who helped me breathe through that very hard time. I had little to know balance in my life, but every night after I put him and his older brother to bed, I would go out out to the living room, roll out my mat, put on the DVD, and there with you guiding me on the screen, I would find balance and a chance to breathe. I felt very alone at that time in my life, but when I was on the mat and you were guiding my practice, I didn’t feel alone. 43
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There was someone there that had their hand on your back. KRISTIN MCGEE
PELOTON YOGA INSTRUCTOR, FITNESS INFLUENCER & AUTHOR Photo Credit: Courtesy of Peloton 44
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“I think it’s finding that connection with ourselves first, quieting down enough to be with ourselves in an intimate way that then allows us to be more vulnerable with others and break down all those divides.” KRISTIN: Such an incredible story… It makes me want to cry. It's like finding a similar connection and a sense of community, even if it was just you and me together at the end of the day. There was someone there that had their hand on your back. ALLIÉ: And you virtually did, Kristin. What is it about yoga that has the power to connect us all to one another in such a deep, intimate way? KRISTIN: I think it's finding that connection with ourselves first, quieting down enough to be with ourselves in an intimate way that then allows us to be more vulnerable with others and break down all those divides. In essence, the word "yoga" means to unite and join. Especially in today's world with so much divisiveness, finding a practice that brings people together instead of pulling them apart is incredibly impactful and important. Yoga has the power to do that. Meditation and yoga both talk about the feeling of non-judgment. Most of the studios where I used to practice didn't have mirrors. You weren't looking at yourself from the outside in and giving critique; you were feeling yourself from the inside out, listening, and responding. It's so nice in a world where there's so much reaction and judgment from the outside in to shift that, to switch that, and find an internal compass and a feeling of real gratitude from the inside out. The more we raise that vibration in ourselves, the more it raises the vibration in others. Together, we can keep elevating that feeling worldwide, even if it's just one person that you can touch. ALLIÉ: I couldn't agree more. You know, so with Peloton, you've connected with countless people from around the world. Could you share one of the most special comments or reviews that someone has shared with you about the impact your instruction has had on their practice or on their life? KRISTIN: First, I feel incredibly grateful for Peloton. I had worked on a project with Robin in 2015. In 2018, I reached out to her to inquire about Peloton offering yoga. At the time, she said they weren't, but a month later, she messaged me and said they were. Would I like to audition? I feel like everything happened for me at the right time and place. I'm so grateful and lucky to bring yoga to the platform, creating a sense of community I was coming home to. I was finally combining my passions for being on camera, my acting background, and sharing a practice I love with people, connecting with a global audience. I've had many women reach out to me, sharing that they got through their pregnancies during the pandemic. Pregnancy can be a joyous but also frightening time, especially for first-time mothers. Being alone during the pandemic added to the uncertainty and fear. These women have told me that my classes got them through that challenging time. It makes me so happy to know that during that time, I was able to offer support. Messages from 45
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We are in flux, changing and evolving. KRISTIN MCGEE
PELOTON YOGA INSTRUCTOR, FITNESS INFLUENCER & AUTHOR Photo Credit: Courtesy of Peloton 46
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TILTING THE BALANCE Exclusive Interview w/Kristin McGee https://awarenow.us/podcast/tilting-the-balance
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KRISTIN: (continued) members during times of grief have also been meaningful. You helped me get through the death of my father, or I was diagnosed with brain cancer or a tumor. I also love the children's stories when parents let me know that I helped their children fall asleep at night or that their children enjoy my Disney Mermaid yoga class. If we can introduce kids to yoga at a young age, helping them connect, self-soothe, and realize that we are all connected and united, that's wonderful. ALLIÉ: That's wonderful. And you are such a wonderful part of all of that. Thank you. So not only do you instruct, but you write. Let's talk about your book and the accessibility to yoga that it provides. You've written "Chair Yoga: Sit, Stretch, and Strengthen Your Way to a Happier, Healthy You." I'd love to hear about this book. KRISTIN: I'm very proud of this book, and I wrote it while I was pregnant with twins, carrying them almost to full term. I found that there is a benefit in having chair yoga because there was a certain point when I was so pregnant that I could really only do chair yoga. I wanted to debunk the myth that chair yoga is mainly for older or injured individuals. It's great for that population, but there's a whole generation tied to screens, hunched over desks, and facing sedentary lifestyles. Chair yoga is accessible and easy. It's ideal for anyone sitting in a chair. You can get shoulder and neck stretches, lower body movement, hip opening, and even standing stretches with chair support. It's a great opportunity for people to be introduced to yoga. Many people discover yoga through the physical aspect and then explore the spiritual side. ALLIÉ: Absolutely. And I love how you say that it's for every single person. So, Kristin, let's talk about finding balance in life as a mother of three. What advice do you have for those who are struggling to find balance in their own lives? KRISTIN: I think the best thing you can do is find three grounding practices that are always consistent and that you do daily. My morning meditation is the first thing I do every day. I also have a gratitude practice where I think about all the things I'm thankful for, welcoming abundance into my life. Finally, I have a physical practice, whether it's yoga, walking, Pilates, or strength workouts, that makes me feel connected to my body. You don't have to do all three every day, but knowing you have three things that help you feel grounded, and doing even one of them each day, makes it easier to stay anchored. When that becomes a habit, it's easier to be responsive and less reactive. It's also easier to remind yourself that we are in flux, changing, and evolving. Some days will be great, and others not so much, but you'll still stay your course and stay connected to yourself. Finding any technique that helps you stay grounded and practicing three of those consistently is a magic number. Then you always have something you can rely on. ∎ Follow Kristin on Instagram: @kristinmcgee Learn more about your Peloton Yoga Instructor: www.onepeloton.com/instructors/yoga/krimcgee Get Kristin’s ‘Chair Yoga’ book: awarenow.us/book/chair-yoga
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The sun doesn’t care whom I love, what I say or what I believe. BURT KEMPNER
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‘JUST BURT STORIES’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY BURT KEMPNER
HYMN TO THE SUN I used to search for divine instruction in sacred texts, but these days I mostly find it in the sun. The sun doesn’t care whom I love, what I say or what I believe. The setting sun reminds me daily that everything, even the most worrisome of things, comes to an end. The rising sun pries my eyes open with promise, a promise that I can still make some sort of difference, a promise that there is at least one being (human or non-) that I can help today and a promise that afflicted hearts can be healed. The sun knows no fear and worries no worries. It just shines and its example urges me to follow suit, regardless of doubt or bliss or care. On even the most overcast of days, I know the sun is still there, doing what it was born to do. Could I do less? ∎
AwareNow Podcast
HYMN TO THE SUN Written and Narrated by Burt Kempner https://awarenow.us/hymn-to-the-sun
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BURT KEMPNER Writer & Producer www.awarenessties.us/burt-kempner BURT KEMPNER is a writer-producer who has worked professionally in New York, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Florida. His work has won numerous major awards, and has been seen by groups ranging in size from a national television audience in the United States to a half-dozen Maori chieftains in New Zealand. Spurred by his love for inspiring young people, he started writing children's books in 2015. Learn more about Burt and his books at his website: www.burtkempner.com.
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We tend to accept what we see and read uncritically, eager to embrace information that aligns with our preexisting beliefs. DR. TODD BROWN
FOUNDER OF THE INSPIRE PROJECT & CO-FOUNDER OF OPERATION OUTBREAK Photo Credit: Wikipedia 50
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‘THE INSPIRE PROJECT’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY DR. TODD BROWN
POE IS STILL TEACHING US HOW POE’S DEATH RELATES TO OUR LIVES TODAY
October 9, 1849, was a day that forever altered the course of our lives, a day filled with chilling air and gloomy skies. Just two days after the world bid farewell to the enigmatic Edgar Allan Poe, a transformation began – one that has left an indelible mark on our understanding of the man. It was a transformation instigated by the evil quill of editor and poet Rufus Griswold, who unleashed a notorious obituary in the evening edition of the New York Tribune. It commenced bluntly: "Edgar Allan Poe is dead." But Griswold's ink didn't stop there. He proceeded to craft one of American history's most damaging character assassinations, painting Poe as an unstable alcoholic and drug addict, a man with few, if any, friends (1). More than anything else, this obituary planted the seeds of our perception of Poe – a perception passed down through the generations, like a relentless game of “telephone."
The heart of the matter isn't just what we think about Poe, but rather, why we believe it and how we can fall prey to misinformation in our modern world. The questions linger like specters in a dimly lit room, swirling in a mist of uncertainty. Nobody can say for certain why Poe found himself in Baltimore at the time of his demise or what transpired between the fateful nights of September 26th and October 3rd. We're left in the dark about why he perished, whether he whispered the name 'Reynolds' in his final moments, or if the attending physician, John J. Moran, was even present at the time of Poe's passing. Despite this fog of ambiguity, we've been told tales of his life, tragic end, and alleged addiction struggles. In essence, we've collectively crafted a distorted legend.
Much like the climax of "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance," where the editor, once enlightened with the truth, discards all the facts and proclaims, "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend." Poe's purported life serves as a stark reminder that the issue isn't merely the existence of fake news; it's our willingness to embrace it and pass it along. We find ourselves trapped in a cycle of misinformation, where falsehoods gain momentum and snowball down the mountains of our collective consciousness.
It seems we haven't evolved much in the 174 years since Poe's death. When tantalizing rumors surface about people, especially those who stand "across the aisle" or remain shrouded in mystery, our knee-jerk reaction is to brand them as villains. Rarely do we pause to question and investigate further. The allure of salacious stories is undeniable, but why do we gravitate toward them?
We tend to accept what we see and read uncritically, eager to embrace information that aligns with our preexisting beliefs. This predisposition is known as confirmation bias. We clutch onto information that reinforces our convictions, and once it takes root, it's tough to uproot (2). As the cognitive psychologist Stephan Lewandowsky from Bristol University wisely points out, "If I hear something I want to hear because it is in line with my political opinions, yes, then I'll believe it even more.” 51
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“The desire for recognition and selfimportance drives our belief in and propagation of fake news.” Another facet of our cognitive biases is our trust in intuition. We're often too quick to internalize, comment on, and share information without delving into its depths. This behavior is evident on social media, where many merely skim headlines and neglect the substantive content.
We're also susceptible to the 'bandwagon effect.' We tend to follow the crowd, embracing opinions and information merely because others do the same. In fake news, the more widely information circulates, the more credible it appears. As it turns out, fake news spreads six times faster than the truth (3). We place undue faith in the collective wisdom of the crowd.
Additionally, there's the ever-persistent 'authoritarian bias,' where the opinions of authority figures influence us more than the content itself. Whether it's a dentist offering insights on infectious diseases or a news correspondent delving into foreign policy, their authority often sways our perception more than it should.
Intriguingly, a 2022 study from the University of Würzburg highlighted that dark personality traits and what they termed 'post-factual epistemic beliefs' make us more susceptible to fake news (4). Participants found it increasingly challenging to distinguish facts from falsehoods when relying on gut feelings and doubting the existence of objective facts. Dark personality traits, such as narcissism and psychopathy, drive individuals to prioritize personal gain over truth.
Furthermore, Joe Walther, director of the Center for Information Technology and Society at the University of California, emphasizes the role of social interaction in fueling the spread of fake news. Liking, commenting, and sharing information on the internet isn't merely an information exchange; it's a way for us to feel involved and recognized. The desire for recognition and self-importance drives our belief in and propagation of fake news.
So, what can we do to counter this tide of misinformation? First and foremost, we must be honest with ourselves, acknowledging our innate subjectivity and vulnerability to fake news. Seek consensus among experts on a given topic and remain open to shifting viewpoints as more information surfaces. While facts are not arbitrary, they can evolve as experts gain a deeper understanding.
One approach, often called prebunking, involves sensitizing ourselves to information and disinformation before encountering it. Providing information campaigns ahead of critical events, like elections, can help inoculate us against the influence of fake news. We must also scrutinize why specific news appeals to us and take a moment to investigate the source. Cross-referencing information with other reputable sources is another crucial step in our quest for truth. 52
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POE IS STILL TEACHING US Written by Dr. Todd Brown & Narrated by Allié McGuire https://awarenow.us/podcast/poe-is-still-teaching-us
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These steps may not be foolproof, but they equip us with a better understanding of the information we encounter. As for Edgar Allan Poe, whose legend was born just 48 hours after his passing, experts do not classify him as a drug addict, alcoholic, or a profoundly melancholic soul. In fact, he was described by those who knew him as an optimist who never dabbled in drug use. In the words of Poe himself in 1845, "Believe nothing you hear and only one half that you see.”
Academic Harry Lee Poe astutely observes, "Poe's biggest mistake was dying before his enemies." However, if we persist in believing and perpetuating fake news about Poe and countless other subjects, we become our own worst adversaries in the battle for truth. ∎
References 1. https://www.eapoe.org/papers/misc1827/nyt49100.htm#:~:text=EDGAR%20ALLAN%20P,will%20be%20grieved%20by%20it. 2. https://www.simplypsychology.org/confirmation-bias.html 3. https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aap9559 4. https://www.uni-wuerzburg.de/aktuelles/pressemitteilungen/single/news/dunkle-persoenlichkeitsmerkmale-machen-anfaellig-fuer-fake-news-1/
DR. TODD BROWN Awareness Ties Columnist www.awarenessties.us/todd-brown Dr. Todd Brown is a winner of multiple education awards, including the U.S. Congressional Teacher of the Year Award, U.S. Henry Ford Innovator Award, Education Foundation Innovator of the Year, and Air Force Association STEM Teacher of the Year. Dr. Brown is the creator and founder of the Inspire Project and cocreator of Operation Outbreak, which was named the Reimagine Education Award for Best Hybrid Program in the world. He is also an Education Ambassador for the United Nations and an Educational Ambassador of the Center for Disease Control (CDC).
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I am in love with people. JEN BIRCHMEIER PHOTOGRAPHER
Photo Courtesy: Jen Birchmeier 54
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JEN BIRCHMEIER
VISUAL POETRY
CAPTURING PASSION IN PORTRAITS Poetry can be written, read and recited. Through Jen Birchmeier’s lens, poetry can be seen. She uses her camera to capture lines of life that can’t be written only witnessed. It was through loss that she found her love of portraiture. As a photographer, she advocates for self love, celebrating our imperfections and body positivity through boudoir. ALLIÉ: Life is a balancing act. More often than not, it seems then when we lose one thing we find another. Jen, can you share the story of the sister you lost and the passion for portraiture you found?
JEN: My passion for portraiture began long before the loss of my sister, but it changed everything. When I walk down the halls of my home and see old film prints that I took of her (while in high school) it reminds me of how incredibly important photography is. When I took them I was experimenting with light and composition. I had no idea at the time that I was giving myself the greatest gift I could ever have given because now, those photographs of her are all I have left.
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Portraits to me are not about perfect smiles… JEN BIRCHMEIER PHOTOGRAPHER
Photo Courtesy: Jen Birchmeier 56
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“My goal is to make people feel something when they look at a photograph - not just see it.” JEN: (continued) My sister's name is Mya. She was the youngest of us three sisters. July 2nd of 2017 was the last time I saw my sister. We spent our last day together floating down the Huron River, something we did often. My family is big on holidays and had plans on us all getting together for the 4th but instead, I woke up to the worst phone call of my life. The family spent the 4th together… but in the most terrible way possible. Sometime the evening before or the morning of the 4th Mya overdosed on Heroin/Fentanyl. She was 26 years old. I’ve always loved photography… But after losing her it’s become something bigger. Outside of the memories that live in our heads, photos and videos are all we really leave behind. Portraits to me are not about perfect smiles or pretty backdrops. I tell people ALL the time, EVERYTHING is secondary to the emotional connection. My goal is to make people feel something when they look at a photograph - not just see it. Because one day, someone’s going to look at that image and it’s going to help them remember a person they loved that’s not here anymore. I love raw and real moments, and thats why I photograph people and not landscapes. ALLIÉ: When it comes to the art of preserving moments in time as you do, what are you in love with most, the verb that of capturing the photo or the noun of the portrait itself? JEN: I am in love with people. I love the people photography allows me to meet and the places it lets me visit. I can’t decide whether I love the act of art more than I love the art itself. I think I love them both equally. I love the excitement and anticipation I get to witness on a wedding day. I love the individuality and the possibilities I see when I work with seniors. I absolutely LOVE the way a person's face changes when I get to be a hype girl during a boudoir shoot and remind them of how beautiful they are. I have found the power to bring light to people I cross paths with through photography by creating a safe space for people to be themselves (and loving them for it).
ALLIÉ: Just as there are all types of writing, there are all types of photography. Your genre of choice is boudoir. Love to hear about your love of boudoir and your first experience with it. JEN: I’ve been shooting boudoir for around 15 years. I started around the same time I began shooting weddings maybe because they fit perfectly together. I love weddings, and boudoir gave me a way to know my brides on another level while giving them such a cool gift to give their spouse. That’s how it started, but it quickly changed quickly. I don’t promote bridal boudoir much (even though I still shoot it) because I spend my time promoting NOT needing a reason to celebrate yourself and your body through boudoir. I spend my time explaining to people how their bodies have been with them from the beginning, got them through every single bad day, every promotion, every goal they crushed, and how (in many cases) it created and nurtured life from it. Every single day is a reason to feel deserving of boudoir. People walk in my studio unsure of themselves and leave feeling like a total badass… Because they are a total badass. Just as they are, imperfections and all, as-is, right now. 57
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It only made sense to stay true to my roots and continue the poetry, just in a different form. JEN BIRCHMEIER PHOTOGRAPHER
Photo Courtesy: Jen Birchmeier 58
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VISUAL POETRY Exclusive Interview w/Jen Birchmeier https://awarenow.us/podcast/visual-poetry
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JEN: (continued) I remember one of my very first boudoir sessions when I had a studio in Fenton - she walked in for her session and I could see her hands shaking. She was terrified, but her fear didn’t stop her from showing up for herself. When we were saying our goodbyes after the shoot was over she made a comment that changed everything for me. She said she felt so beautiful.. That was my light bulb moment.. THAT’S what I was here to do. I get to help people love themselves more.. And I don’t take that responsibility lightly. ALLIÉ: In addition to being a photographer, you Jen are a writer - a poet. Let’s stay on the topic of love, what is it that you love about writing poetry? And do you have a favorite piece you would care to share? JEN: When I was young, I processed my emotions through a pen and paper. It got me over heartaches, and allowed me to celebrate myself when I didn’t feel celebrated by others. When I started my photography business, it only made sense to stay true to my roots and continue the poetry, just in a different form. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. I recently dug up my old journals because I really want to start organizing my work and thoughts into things I can share soon. I don’t have anything prepared at the moment, but maybe I’ll be ready in time for a poetry night at the studio in the (hopefully) near future. ALLIÉ: You have made a passionate career of capturing poetry with your camera. For those looking for a career they can be passionate about but can’t seem to find one that satisfies, what advice can you share? JEN: When you can’t find the right space to feel yourself in, CREATE ONE. I worked a 40hr work week behind a desk since I was 18/19 years old. I always did photography as a hobby or a side gig, but it wasn’t until around 5 years ago when I did a full-on trustf all into full time self employment. I wanted it so bad. And my husband believed in me. That’s all I needed. There is no doubt in my mind that if you want something bad enough AND are willing to put in the work, you are capable of anything. And, having lost my sister at such a young age I understand that our days aren’t guaranteed. Life is way too short to feel stuck in something that doesn’t excite and inspire you. Money is just money, time is the real currency. ∎
Follow Jen on Instagram: @jenbirchmeier & @visual.poetry.photo See Jen’s work here: www.jenbirchmeier.com
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Photo Credit: Amber Kilpatrick 60
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ORIGINAL POEM BY AMBER KILPATRICK
DESCENT
There. The night. Her open sky. Dark, yet starless. Dusk whispers her hand over the Dawn of my eyes and speaks a new path. One that must be trusted. Felt. A time to Know rather than see. ∎
Find & follow Amber on Instagram: @amber.z.kilpatrick
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Age is not a limitation when it comes to making meaningful change in our communities and beyond. KAT POVEY
DIRECTOR OF STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS, ROUNDTABLE GLOBAL 62
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‘GLOBAL GOOD’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY TANITH HARDING
A LEGACY IN THE MAKING A CONVERSATION WITH KAT POVEY
Kat Povey is the latest hire for RoundTable Global and has joined the team as Director of Strategic Partnerships. Her new role has been created to relaunch The Legacy Project charity and to continue to expand on The Global Youth Awards which now receives nominations from fifty different countries. Her operational background brings much needed strategic planning to the organisation which has huge plans for Legacy Project this year. TANITH: Kat you have recently joined RoundTable Global to work on The Legacy Project and Global Youth Awards tell us about your new role? KAT: I’ve been aware of RoundTable for quite a long time now and I've attended some of the amazing events that you guys have done. It became quite apparent that the team needed to expand in order to continue to grow. I've come on board because I wanted to help relaunch The Legacy Project, which I'll explain a bit more about in detail later, and also to help with the running and expansion of the Global Youth awards as well.
A LEGACY IN THE MAKING EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH KAT POVEY BY TANITH HARDING
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“It inspires others to the possibility that one person can really make a difference…” TANITH: I know that you have attended and supported on the awards in previous years, what made you want to get involved in the running full time? KAT: It has always been a really inspiring event and attending last year in person after Covid was a really emotional evening. I was listening to all of the amazing projects young people are doing all over the world that are actively shaping a brighter future and making a difference. It really made me think about what I could be doing to help and support the Global Youth Awards to carry on celebrating youth globally with my skill set. In my short time working here I have learned just how much it means to the young people to get recognition for the work they are doing. It inspires others to the possibility that one person can really make a difference and that age is not a limitation when it comes to making meaningful change in our communities and beyond. TANITH: Part of your new role is to relaunch the Legacy Project charity side - tell us more about that? KAT: The Legacy Project is a youth program that can be run in schools or youth organisations to help young people create projects for change within their communities or wider scale. Empowering young people to be the change that they want to see in the world around them.The programme helps young people identify some of the challenges that the local community faces around environmental impact and social responsibility in line with the SDG’s and creates solutions that they can implement in real time. The purpose behind the programme is to educate and empower young people to be the change they would like to see within their community and beyond. The Legacy Project can be delivered in any community on a global scale ensuring that equal access can be given to all young people no matter their location or financial status. The Legacy Project will help unite communities bringing people together to create social impact projects that will regenerate economies and build a better future for everyone. The projects that they create will be focused on Empowerment, Education and Environment which is a simplified version of the SDG’s encompassing all seventeen components. TANITH: The Global Youth Awards is an incredibly inspiring celebration of youth around the world but what do young people receive as a result of winning? KAT: I think it is important to say that it’s not just about winning an award. Even being nominated for an award really does have an impact for the nominee. Just being recognised for the important work they are doing really does encourages them to carry on and it inspires other young people to become change makers creating a ripple effect. The Global Youth Awards is not just a pat on the back and here is an award for you, they go onto become Global Change Ambassadors. This is something that our ambassadors are super proud of and we have created a global community who all support each other which is really beautiful. It is only supposed to be for a twelve month period really but many of our ambassadors have been with us for many years because they love being involved so much. They also receive access to coaching, mentoring and a wide range of opportunities which really vary. I know in previous years there has been opportunities to speak at conferences and travel to Malaysia for a kindness summit. More recently this year we have provided speakers for a panel at the EEA Conference and had an opportunity for some of our young finalists to speak at the Values 20 India Summit in Delhi. Additionally we always invite our Global Change Ambassadors to be involved in the awards either as speakers, hosts, artist or judges which is something they take massive amounts of pride in. 64
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TANITH: This years event is held at Troxy London on 18th November - how can people support or get involved? KAT: First of all I would encourage everyone to nominate - If you know a young person aged 11-25 that’s helping to create projects for change within the areas of Environment, Education, Empowerment and Creativity, then please nominate them by filling out a form on our website via the links shared at the end of the article. The Global Youth Awards is for youth, by youth and therefore there are lots of other ways young people can get involved in the awards. We are looking for youth judges to join the panel and help select the finalists so, if you are aged 11-25 and want to become a GYA judge, please get in touch asap. We also have youth artists performing at the awards as well as youth hosts and youth guest speakers and whilst we do have these slots filled for 2023 now we would love young people to put themselves forward for 2024. We also have a team of youth involved in the pre-planning of the event gaining real life experience in the event industry, social media and so on. It really is all about the young people! Additionally we are determined to keep the awards free to enter and attend for young people so we are always looking for partners and sponsorships that are aligned with our values and commitment to future leaders. We believe that collaboration is key to creating change and therefore welcome individuals or organisations that want to support the next generation. Please do get in touch with us if this is of interest as together we can really help these young people make an impact. Lastly, you can show your support by attending the awards either in person or online. Nothing can demonstrate the impact and importance of this event better than attending it yourself. We have had grown adults literally in tears and at a loss for words after attending our awards which really shows the impact it can have.
TANITH: Why are the awards and legacy important and why do you personally think supporting youth is needed? KAT: As it stands, we are a long way off reaching the targets set out in the SDG’s. If the Legacy Project was rolled out in every secondary or high school globally, the impact not only on local communities, but the wider world would be huge. It would create a lasting and sustainable impact and help to grow the next generation to be confident, and action orientated future leaders committed to triple bottom line reporting - meaning motivated by people, planet and profit. One of the reasons both the Global Youth Awards and Legacy Project were created was to change the narrative about young people. This was following a period of time when a lot of media, including reporting on the London riots back in 2012, focused on youth as vandals and creating a narrative that youth were troublemakers. This was creating a divide between the generations that was not an accurate depiction of the true narrative which should have been showing just how many young people where involved in the clean up operation and social impact projects. I believe that the majority of youth really do care about the future of our planet and that is beautifully demonstrated by the projects they are creating. Showcasing the work they are doing via the awards shines a light on them, helping to change that narrative for themselves and inspire others to become change makers too. ∎
Register to attend: www.roundtable.global/pre-registration/2023 Nominate a young person: www.roundtable.global/global-youth-awards-2023 TANITH HARDING Director of International Development, The Legacy Project, RoundTable Global www.awarenessties.us/tanith-harding Tanith is leading change management through commitment to the RoundTable Global Three Global Goals of: Educational Reform, Environmental Rejuvenation & Empowerment for All. She delivers innovative and transformational leadership and development programmes in over 30 different countries and is also lead on the international development of philanthropic programmes and projects. This includes working with a growing team of extraordinary Global Change Ambassadors and putting together the Global Youth Awards which celebrate the amazing things our young people are doing to change the world.
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We’re thrilled to establish ourselves as part of the Louisville community, and to help those artists amplify their impact. LAURA SHARPE
ARTISTS FOR TRAUMA FOUNDER & CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER, TRAUMA SURVIVOR & ARTIST 66
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‘FELLOW TRAVELERS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LAURA SHARPE
TO FOSTER HEALING
IT TAKES CREATIVITY, CONNECTIVITY & COMMUNITY A California-based arts organization that’s made a major mark in California for over a decade officially launched its presence in the Derby City, also known as Louisville, KY, by celebrating the healing power of art. Artists for Trauma held its inaugural series of free workshops in partnership with Hillerich & Bradsby Co. and the iconic Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory. “Louisville has an incredible community of local artists, and we’re grateful for the welcome they’ve given us,” said founder Laura Sharpe, who recently purchased a home in the city. “We’re thrilled to establish ourselves as part of the Louisville community, and to help those artists amplify their impact.” Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory already has roots in the art community with its Big Glove sculpture and the iconic 120-foot bat at the front entrance created by local artists. That was just one of the things that made this event a perfect fit. “We’ve helped build community in Louisville for more than a hundred years,” said Andrew Soliday, Marketing Director of Hillerich & Bradsby Co. “We’re proud to partner with an organization committed to the same goal, bringing people together in downtown to make lives better through art.” The free public workshops featured local artists in multiple disciplines, leading interactive, inclusive experiences for all ages and abilities where art met wood and wonder. Scraps were transformed into art: Sculpture Where Wood Meets Wonder found wood, factory wood scraps, squares, nubs, mini & large bats, drumsticks Visual Where Wood Meets WaterColor, Paint & Collage peelable stickers, braille on paper, water color paints, old newspapers, magazines, water based paints on found wood, wood bats & scraps, drumsticks, reeds Poetry and Spoken Word Where Words Meet Wonder custom poetry written on distressed, recycled paper, with old typewriter, Braille typewriter Music Where Sound Meets Wonder drumsticks, drum pads, cajons and other wood instruments Many other organizations helped make the event possible through support or participation, including Danny Wimmer Presents, Kentucky School of the Blind, Louisville Visual Arts, 7th and Main, Hatfield Media, Whitney/Strong, Muse Kits, Phocus Water, Spinelli’s Pizza, and Fleur de Lis Communications. 67
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Channelled focus through artistry opens a gateway for creativity.
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Unhindered expression provides permission to script your own journey.
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The power of ancient vibration translated with artistic intention transforms.
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The wonder of words… Words that touch you and words you can touch.
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Poetry in motion.
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A special thanks goes to these artists and educators who helped make this memorable event magical: Krystin Price Teacher, Kentucky School for the Blind
Louisville Visual Arts (LVA) Dedicated to encouraging artists through programming
Chip Calloway Visual Artist specializing in spray painting & digital art
Jason Lois Art Provocateur & Visual Street Artist specializing in neo-expressionism & public art
KeVon Dunbar Artist & Sculptor
Cynthia Norton Visual Painter, Performance Artist, Sculptor & Musician
Tricia Hart Licensed Art Therapist, Louisville Visual Arts Teaching Artist
Alyssa Campbell ASL Student
Eddie Donaldson aka GuerillaOne Graffiti Street Artist
Laura Sharpe Visual Artist, Soft Sculptor & Adaptive Multimedia Event Producer
Andrew Soliday Poet
Follow Artists For Trauma on Instagram: @artistsfortrauma Learn more about their work online: www.artistsfortrauma.org
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Photo Credit: Hatfield Media
Life is the only teacher that gives you the exam first before the lesson. PAUL S. ROGERS
TRANSFORMATION EXPERT, AWARENESS HELLRAISER & PUBLIC SPEAKER 80
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‘RELEASE THE GENIE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY PAUL S. ROGERS
LIFE
EXAM FIRST, LESSON AFTER Release The Genie Fact: The Genie can checkout anytime it likes and then leave Hotel California. Finding freedom in being fearless. Freedom is an interesting idea. If you asked 10 people what freedom means to them, it is likely you will receive 10 different answers. Even in our own lives, our definition of freedom changes. Freedom for my 7 year old would be not having to do his homework and being able to have a greater screen time limit. Freedom to my mid 20s self, as a lawyer and young partner in a law firm, was becoming an expert of my craft. That freedom would come from being knowledgeable. By my mid 30s, freedom meant getting away from the long hours, corporate culture and high stress pressure I plunged into in my 20s. A major shift to working outside, in nature and having fun. In my 40s freedom meant being free from cancer, and holding on for long enough each day during my severe TBI recovery. Now, at the beginning of my 50s, I think freedom means finding peace. That doesn't mean disappearing or stopping; it means finding those great moments when you are in clear, calm water and where making lasting memories is effortless. You can see that, in my life, most of the time I was working on or doing something I thought would set me free. There are no incorrect turns or actions: just what occurs in the moment. We are not expected to see the whole picture but to work as best we can on the pieces of the puzzle we have and see in that moment. Was I scared at times? Hell yes! But I have learned that being fearless is not the absence of fear but doing whatever it is in spite of fear. This is why I admire people who have been through hell's fire but still walk back through the fire with buckets of water for others. There is a duality to being bold. A bold act leaps out of the background and is more amazing because of the contrasting background of fear and turmoil. As Henry IV said, “Bold men will become bolder in times of hardship.” I would view myself as quite a polite person, so apologising or saying excuse me is fairly near the top of my standard responses in social situations. This is not to be mistaken for feelings and things that mean much more. If you really want something, then follow it and do it without apology. No half asses. Whole arse or nothing at all. In the words of the great Jedi master, Yoda, “DO or DO not do. There is no try.” You also must ask who is it you are actually apologizing to anyway. More likely, it is to some mental version of yourself. Or worse still, to what you think others may think of you. What other people think of you is none of your business. You are the only person who knows what you know, feels what you feel and sees what you see in any given situation. No one can get behind your eyeballs and experience it. 81
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AwareNow Podcast
LIFE Written and Narrated by Paul S. Rogers https://awarenow.us/podcast/life
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Like most people, I have had to make some very difficult decisions in life. Unfortunately, unlike in a computer game, you can’t see if you like the outcome first and then, if you’re not happy with it, go back and reload the save point just before you made that decision. We are not free of the consequences of our actions, even of the actions we may think we were playing it safe. Consequences form part of the bow break as you steer your ship through life's waters. The real freedom lies inside, as ships can handle life's toughest weathers and storms. It is only when we allow the water to seep inside, through fear and doubt, that the ship starts to sink. Take comfort in that you are not alone. If you look around, you will see everyone is doing the same. This is why we feel inspired when we see others’ bold actions. They appear to gracefully cut through life's troubled waters with poise and grace. The secret is that they are more than likely doing whatever they are doing in spite of fear. Not because they are fearless. Instead, they have chosen not to be bound by fear and circumstances. Life is the only teacher that gives you the exam first before the lesson. The reality is that the longer you spend in the waves and bad weather, the less it will bother you. It is the many ups and downs that make us compassionate, resilient, and dynamic. “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt ∎
PAUL S. ROGERS Transformation Expert, Awareness Hellraiser & Public Speaker www.awarenessties.us/paul-rogers PAUL S. ROGERS is a keynote public speaking coach, “Adversity to hope, opportunity and prosperity. “ Transformation expert, awareness Hellraiser, life coach, Trauma TBI, CPTSD mentor, train crash and cancer survivor, public speaking coach, Podcast host “Release the Genie” & Best-selling author. His journey has taken him from from corporate leader to kitesurfer to teacher on first nations reserve to today. Paul’s goal is to inspire others to find their true purpose and passion.
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Exploitative and abusive relationships do not manifest overnight. MARY DAVID
ACTRESS, SPOKEN WORD ARTIST, ACTIVIST & LAWYER 84
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‘REFLECTIONS’ ORIGINAL POETRY BY MARY DAVID
REPEAT
THE FULL ARC FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR Exploitative and abusive relationships do not manifest overnight. Their cyclical nature alone highlights the time it takes to recognize problematic and harmful behaviors as habitual, repetitive wrongs. Experts say it takes six to seven false starts before a victim of domestic violence or sexual exploitation is able to leave their abuser. This refers to the painful process of reflection and realization that a victim must undergo before they can fully break free. It can involve a victim spending time away from an abuser, returning to the relationship, and questioning themselves and others who try to help them leave. It does not stem from weakness. It does not stem from simplemindedness. It stems from trauma. It stems from the abuser. But it ends with a victim becoming a survivor and an inspiration for how to overcome protracted battles.
REPEAT you Accuse. Confuse. (repeat, repeat) I Live captive. Retractive. (repeat, repeat) you Bruise. Excuse. (repeat, repeat) I Strive. Barely alive. (repeat, repeat) you Could change. But Refuse. (repeat, repeat)
I Leave your hive. To survive. (repeat, repeat) you Promise to improveme. A ruse. (repeat, repeat) I Forgive. Relive. (repeat, repeat) you Blame again. Misuse. (repeat, repeat) I Take a dive. Revive. (repeat, repeat)
you tied the noose. but I got myself loose. I see ALL of me and win. Claim the prize of free Joy and peace settle in I realize I was always strong. I’m just centered now to share a full-bodied song. It helps others learn how they can sing all along. Our chorus erupts. Repeat. Repeat. ∎
If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 MARY DAVID Actress, Spoken Word Artist, Activist & Lawyer www.awarenessties.us/marydavid Mary is a storyteller and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual trauma. Drawing from experiences of overcomers of trauma and her own journey from victim to survivor, Mary creates powerful narratives and highlights pivotal realities through television and film, legal advocacy, and beyond. As a United Nations Advisor on Women and Children’s Issues, Mary defended the rights of domestic violence victims and disenfranchised populations before the United Nations General Assembly. She also handled nearly 2,000 criminal cases as a prosecutor in Baltimore City, including numerous cases of assault and sex crimes. When not creating art, Mary promotes the advancement of women and ending gender-based violence as Communications Director of UN Women’s Los Angeles chapter.
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To all the teachers out there, don’t just teach the subject matter. SHELLA CONDINO
AP PHYSICS TEACHER AT OAKTON HIGH SCHOOL 86
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‘THE DECIDED HEART EFFECT’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY SONJA MONTIEL
AMONGST THE STARS FEATURING SHELLS CONDINO
“I feel like once I'm in the classroom, that's my stage, it's my show. I will make sure that my students leave with something to take with them, knowing that what they learn is something that relates directly to their lives.” - Shella Condino When Shella Condino was a child, she decided that she would never become a teacher. Growing up in the Philippines with both parents in the academe, her father a public elementary school principal and her mother a teacher at a small private alternative high school, Shella remembers how hard her family life was. Born the oldest of eight children, her family must find other means to make ends meet. “Teachers in the Philippines were not paid enough to make a decent living at that time. This position was not seen as prestigious,” Shella recalls. Besides teaching in the morning and evening classes, her mother would sell food and snacks at the school cafeteria. Shella would have to help sell the goods during recess, clean up the school in the evenings and even grade some papers. Shella and her mother would cook and bake snacks at home until midnight so that Shella could also sell them the next day at Shella’s elementary school cafeteria during lunch and recess. Throughout her childhood, Shella connected the dots that to be a teacher was to end up poor and unhappy. Shella shared, “I never enjoyed my childhood. I didn’t have one.” She knew that she had a different destiny. She left home after sixth grade to live with her Lola (grandma) to get away from caretaking of her siblings and maintaining her mom’s evening school cafeteria. However, her parents were smarter. Shella said, “They realized that my grandma was alone, and were happy that I could watch over her. But they also sent my siblings who were too young to attend school over to live at Lola’s house, where I pretty much ran a daycare center by myself.” Shella’s high school years remained a challenge. Her Lola’s house was in a remote rural place called a barrio, near the river and far from the highway. The living conditions were very difficult, needing to walk for miles to get drinking water and not having electricity. Shella must study at night using a gasera, a kerosene lamp. With nothing else to be distracted from her demise, she would sit outside the house when everyone went to sleep and watch the magic of the night sky. “The Philippines sits five degrees above the equator. I got to see more stars than anywhere in the world. Some falling, some shooting. It was fascinating!” Shella recalls. When she used to live with her parents, her father bought a CRT (cathode-ray-tube) black and white television in 1979 for the first time. Shella was able to watch the news about ten-year anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing on the moon. She watched the launch of Saturn V and was amazed and got inspired. This created the spark and ignited her dream that someday she will become an astronaut or something related to aerospace and aviation. She hoped to work for NASA in the future. Shella earned a scholarship opportunity from the Philippine Department of Science and Technology where tuition, room, board, transportation and supplies were paid for. During her last semester in college towards earning her physics degree, she was required to show evidence of her knowledge before graduating. She returned to her home province and became a student teacher intern. At first the internship was boring for her. The teacher-mentor had Shella grade papers and simply observe the class. The daily teaching had no passion, no energy. Then, one day, the teacher was absent. Shella had to teach for the day. She recalls, “I don't know what I was doing, I just went on and on. I was nervous because I was put on the spot. Then I heard stampedes from the kids’ feet! They were happy! I was calling out students here and there, and I became emotional and animated in my teaching. My voice was so loud and excited.” Due to the noise that could be heard from a distance, the assistant principal showed up, sat in the back of the classroom, and interviewed the kids around her. When Shella finished, she received an applause from the entire student body. 87
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“I was the only Asian person in the entire community! It was extraordinary to be so different from everyone else, and my teaching style wasn’t conventional either.” When the assistant principal offered her a position after completing her degree, Shella still didn’t want to be a teacher, “I’m not going back. I’m not going to teach.” Shortly after graduating college and needing a job, she was hired as a university instructor at the age of 20, becoming the youngest physics instructor at that university. The pay was still low. Shella found an opportunity to teach at a Chinese high school where the pay was better. She taught for six years, and enjoyed the different cultural setting and how students were disciplined in learning. However, Shella was always on the verge of getting fired since she wasn’t a traditional teacher under the school’s standards. One day, a student recommended that Shella teach in the United States. “You kicking me out?” Shella responded to her student. “No, Ms. Condino. My classmates and I believe that you belong in a place where you are valued for your abilities to engage students in loud, and productive discussions and activities.” After an application process, Shella traveled to Texas, teaching middle school in El Paso and high school in Presidio. “It was so different,” Shella remembers. “First, I was the only Asian person in the entire community! It was extraordinary to be so different from everyone else, and my teaching style wasn’t conventional either. I held standards that were considered very high in these schools.” Serving mostly low-income students, Shella wanted her classroom to be a safe haven for them. She stayed much longer than other teachers, finding that students would visit after school for reasons beyond learning. “Are you hungry? Let me feed you.” “Are you sad? Let’s talk.” “Are you tired because of your part time work schedule? Take a nap.” At Presidio High School, Shella wanted to offer a rocketry and robotics summer enrichment program, asked her principal for a classroom and small funds to pay for materials. In this border town between Texas and Mexico, where Walmart was four hours away and the median family income was less than $20,000 a year, the high school graduation rate was below 50%. Most students only hoped to graduate from high school so they can get a minimum wage job. The drop-out rate was so high. Some students got involved with illegal drugs, drag racing, teenage alcoholism and teenage pregnancy. Shella recalls one student coming to school with a collar around his ankle, another pregnant and another one already with a baby. In one year, the school lost 4 students from suicide, drag race accidents and drug related shootings. Shella couldn’t lose any more students and believed that offering something to do after school, like an enrichment class, was one solution. And it worked. She provided lessons in the summer in amateur rocketry and basic robot programming. The program continued the next school year as an after-school class. Some students were staying late in her classroom daily asking for some rockets to build and robots to program. “At first,” Shella recalls, “parents were worried about where their children were. But when they realized they were with me at school building things and developing their STEM skills, the parents felt relieved. They trusted me.” 89
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The Presidio Rocketry Team competed in The American Rocketry Challenge (TARC) National Finals consecutively for several years. They placed in the top 25 out of more than 700 teams in the nation vying for the top prize. In 2014, a Presidio HS team finished top 4 in the national finals. Because of their placement in the top 25, students were able to participate in the prestigious NASA’s Student Launch Initiative (SLI) which is an advanced high-power-rocket research program. They got to build 10-12 ft tall rockets and launch them a mile high at NASA Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama. The Presidio Robotics Team also won first place in the State Championship and competed in the Botball Robotics World Finals. The achievements in these STEM programs led to Presidio Rocketry Team an invitation to the White House where students presented their rockets to former President Barack Obama. Because of Shella’s passion and dedication to the students and the STEM programs, she received teacher recognitions from several aerospace organizations including 2011 National Aviation Hall of Fame Scott Crossfield Aerospace Teacher of the Year, 2012 ASME Discover E- STEM Teacher of the Year, 2012 Women in Aerospace WIA Aerospace Educator of the Year and 2013 NSTA Mohling Aerospace Educator of the Year. She got the chance to meet her aerospace heroes, Neil Armstrong, Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin and Michael Collins, astronauts of the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. Presidio then began to develop strong academic programs. English and STEM became the focus of the school district. The graduation rate has increased year to year. Before leaving Presidio, Shella said that the graduation rate was 100% for two years in a row. Presidio became a model rural school district and was called a powerhouse in rocketry and robotics. Most of Shella’s students continued their education and became first generation college students. Some of her Presidio students became engineers, scientists, nurses, teachers, and much more. She has several students who are now working in prestigious aerospace industries like Boeing, Blue Origin, NASA, Aurora Flight Sciences and Lockheed Martin Corporation to name a few. Did Shella Condino become an astronaut? Not yet! But her dream is still alive! She finally become an American Citizen, so now she might get the chance!
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AMONGST THE STARS Written and Narrated by Sonja Montiel https://awarenow.us/podcast/amongst-the-stars
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In the meantime, she continues to develop young scientists who may very well end up working for NASA in the future. She relocated with her family to northern Virginia and currently teaches AP Physics courses at Oakton High School in Vienna, VA. She runs the OHS Rocketry and Robotics Clubs where her teams compete in the national and international levels. Shella continues her passion and dedication to teaching. As Shella reflects on her learning lessons that led her to become a teacher, she shares a special message to teachers: “To all the teachers out there, don't just teach the subject matter. Teach from your heart. Touch their lives. If you know your students’ dreams and try to support those dreams, you can help change the course within their lives. You might not know their stories when they enter your classroom, but I do hope that every time they walk through, they feel loved and safe.” “To all students, always remember to dream BIG, it is free! Work hard and smart, live right, and be the BEST you can be!” ∎
Connect with Shella on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/shella-condino-a0a32754 Follow OHS Rocketry on Instagram: @oaktonrocketry SONJA MONTIEL Co-Founder of The Decided Heart Effect www.awarenessties.us/sonja-montiel SONJA MONTIEL has served more than twenty-one years in the college admissions profession, having extensive experience in the areas of freshman, transfer, and international admissions. During her time working with thousands of teens and young adults worldwide, she began to witness many societies creating an unhealthy college-bound culture that misguides our young people in their pursuit of living a life of fulfillment. In 2021, Sonja met Hilary Bilbrey to begin something amazing. They created The DH Effect – The Decided Heart Effect with a mission to guide individuals, schools, and organizations to build high-trust relationships and belonging through self-discovery and personal accountability.
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30 November 1 December 2023
I genuinely believe that our true nature is love… JACQUELINE WAY
FOUNDER OF 365GIVE Photo Credit: Courtesy of 365give 94
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JACQUELINE WAY
LIVE TO GIVE AN ALGORITHM OF LOVE
Founder of a global giving movement, 365give, Jacqueline Way is love in action. What started as a commitment to do one give every day with her son became a mission to inspire the world to do that same. 365give teaches, inspires and empowers people to give, creating a happier and more compassionate world 365 days a year. ALLIÉ: So, let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Let's begin with the story that initiated 365give. How did this all begin? JACQUELINE: Well, you know, there are lots of ways I can start this story, and I can do the elevator pitch. But, you know, with you, I'm going to start the story a little bit differently than I start with most people. And the story actually starts with a beautiful little boy who, at 11 weeks old, I had the honor of adopting. He's the inspiration for 365give. I am the blessed mom of three beautiful adopted boys, and my very first son, Nic, truly inspired me. When he came into our lives as a baby, I looked out into the world and said, "Wow, what am I bringing this child into, and how can I make it a better place for him? How can I make it a better place for my grandchildren one day, if that's an option? And for all the children in our world, generations to come..." I wanted to make sure that I did my part. I'm not a millionaire or a
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This young man has inspired a global giving movement that’s literally changing the world. JACQUELINE WAY
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“Every day, you can get this little hit of happiness every time you give.” JACQUELINE: (continued) billionaire. I don't have gobs of money that I can use to change the whole world at once, like feeding every child on the planet or providing everyone with running water. But I thought, "What is it we could do? And how could I intertwine this into a lesson for my son?" At the same time, I had remarkable parents who taught me the lessons of being a good global citizen, doing our part, and doing the little things every day. I thought, "How can I bring that into my own son's life?" So, at the ripe old age of three, because what we know about children's brains is what they learn before they're five is what they truly carry forward through their lives. This is part of the brain programming that happens. And there's no time in a human being's life with more brain growth and development than between the ages of zero and seven. So I thought, "This is a good time before he starts school, before he goes to preschool. How can I teach my son to be kind, compassionate, and a loving little human being?" We started a personal parenting project, and literally on his third birthday, we decided together that we were going to do one small act of giving every day for 365 days. That's why our charitable organization is called 365give. This goes back a few years, and at the time, blogging was the thing. It was what people did before fancy websites and other social platforms took over. There was Twitter and Facebook, but that was it. I wasn't on either platform at the time, but I thought, "What better way to share our stories with people, with the hope that if I could inspire one other person along the way to give, then we are starting to create this little ripple effect of giving and showing people that giving is possible for everyone." So we started a blog. Obviously, Nic wasn't writing at that age yet. With every small act of giving that we did, I wrote a blog post about it. We shared them on Twitter and Facebook. In a very short period of time, people started reading our blog and engaging with us on Facebook and Twitter. Before we knew it, we had this beautiful global community that was giving right along with us because they were inspired by this beautiful little boy that I got to bring home when he was just 11 weeks old. To this day, Nic is now turning 16 in less than two weeks. This young man has inspired a global giving movement that's literally changing the world. ALLIÉ: That is a beautiful story and a beautiful beginning for the beautiful work that you do 365 days a year. JACQUELINE: 365 days a year… All these years later, we still do it every day of the year. ALLIÉ: On this journey that you've been on, Jacqueline, what are some of the key lessons that you've learned from your experience with 365give that you believe can benefit others who are interested in doing more, who want to create positive social impact? What can you share in terms of lessons learned? JACQUELINE: You know, these lessons have sneaked up on me in many areas of my life, but these are the key lessons. It's what we teach at 365give. We always thought that part of what we did was just teaching about giving, inspiring people to give, and providing giving ideas. We've brought it into schools and many other things. But a significant part of what we do is not only the act of giving but also why we do it, and the benefits it offers, not just to the world around us, which is obvious, but also the benefits it has for us. This is the part I didn't really understand until a few years into it. So it's what we call your daily dose of happiness. It's not only happiness but a significant part of this is love, which I want to share with everybody today. So, ‘dose’ for me stands for dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. The fascinating thing about giving, no matter how small it is, is that you don't have to give a lot of money or volunteer thousands of hours. But every day, you can get this little hit of happiness every time you give. For example, today is World Gratitude Day. The first thing I did this morning was text three friends to express how grateful I am for them and the people in my life. When I did that, it was a small way to give back to the world as soon as I woke up in the morning. Along with that, I received a hit of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. It's our 97
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We all have this amazing ability to touch millions of people in our lives over the course of our lifetime. JACQUELINE WAY
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“By doing this, we become love in action in the world, being true to our nature…” JACQUELINE: (continued) body's natural way to provide us with a feeling of happiness, love, and energy. It fascinates me that our bodies are literally built for giving. Our bodies feel better, we're happier, we're healthier, our mental health improves, and it reduces anxiety, stress, and the cortisol levels that can make us sick. It also enhances our immune system. All of these natural, healthy effects occur in our bodies when we give. I always find it amazing that we were literally built to be of service. Another important aspect is that giving is love in action. Oxytocin is one of the major chemicals released when we give. I want everybody to think of putting love into action in our world. I genuinely believe that our true nature is love when we are born, as babies, pure bundles of love. We're not born fearful, anxious, or stressed. We're born as little bundles of love. That's what we can do every day to return to that true nature of who we are – we can put love into action every day. This benefits ourselves, our families, and everyone we touch. By doing this, we become love in action in the world, being true to our nature, and it benefits the world and everyone around us. ALLIÉ: Those are some pretty incredible lessons. JACQUELINE: Yes, those are pretty incredible lessons. So, when I wake up feeling a bit cranky or on the wrong side of the bed, I start the day knowing that I can go out and be love in the world. It's a different way to approach the day, a different perspective on being in our world. Imagine if everyone did it. I know you are. That's who you show up as every day. It's your true nature. But imagine a whole world of people who were doing that every day. We'd have a completely different world we were living in. ALLIÉ: I love that you say you don't have to be a millionaire, you don't have to donate thousands of hours. It's how you show up. JACQUELINE: Intentionally, right? I think that's the big thing that I learned through giving every day, 365 days. It becomes an intentional, mindful, emotionally smart practice that we can do every day. We say it's so simple, a threeyear-old can do it. It's a daily habit like brushing your teeth, but the benefits that you receive, and then everyone you touch every day in your life… The average person, over the course of their life, touches anywhere from 30,000 to 150,000 people. But what we now know with social media is that reach can literally be millions for so many people. If you are showing up happy, as love, and to benefit the world around you and everyone you touch, we all have this amazing ability to touch millions of people in our lives over the course of our lifetime. ALLIÉ: How infectious that is - that love and that generosity. Now, I want to get a little technical for a moment because I love the science that you were sharing just now. So let's talk tech. In your view, what role does technology and social media, like you just mentioned, play in amplifying the message of 365give and connecting like-minded individuals and organizations? Where does tech come into play? JACQUELINE: Well, first of all, and I always like to remind people, you have this beautiful little gadget in your hands that follows your every move. It listens to your conversations, as we know, and creates an algorithm for you based on everything you open on your phone. I want everybody to think of their life as an algorithm, and that we're creating this algorithm with everything that we put out. So, if you go into your Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube, you can look at the content that's there and know exactly what you are creating in your life every day based on what you watch, what you're saying, and how your phone's listening to you and what it keeps giving you more of. When you start making this habit, this daily giving habit, and using social media to do your daily giving, you make sure that you're putting 99
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It all starts with us. JACQUELINE WAY
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JACQUELINE: (continued) something out every day that's feeding positivity, giving, and love to the world. It amplifies your life and creates an algorithm that offers more positive content to you. So, take a look at your life and consider what's going on, who you're surrounding yourself with in your real life, not just your online presence. What does your family look like, what do your experiences look like, and then go into your phone and ask, "What am I creating? What's coming up?" When you start creating this mindful shift in your life and intentionally show up as a giving, loving, compassionate human being, the algorithm of your life changes too. What you put out to the world is what you get back, and that's science. It's not just some woo-woo idea; it's science. It's what we know about the energetic fields of the world. It's how it works. Everything changes in the algorithm that we've created in our lives. ALLIÉ: That's mind-blowing, as I've never thought of my life as an algorithm, but it makes perfect sense. JACQUELINE: It does. What are you looking at? How are you viewing the world? What's the action you're putting out when you put the energy of love and compassion out into the world? It's what you attract. It's what you bring back, right? That's science. That's not me making up woo-woo stuff; it's science. It's what we know about the energetic fields of the world and how it works. The same principle applies to everything we do in our lives. If you're happier, healthier, and have reduced stress, it affects everyone around you, your family, your friends, and even your immune system. How you show up changes everything in that algorithm you've created in your life. ALLIÉ: That's such a good point. So, let's talk for a moment about people who want to be part of what you're doing. They say, “Wow, this 365give... How do I become part of this? Jacqueline sounds pretty amazing. I'm excited about what she's doing.” How can individuals, schools, organizations get involved with 365give and contribute to supporting your mission of making this world a better place through giving every day? JACQUELINE: The first thing is to visit our website. We've just created a brand new website. As soon as you go to it, you'll see ‘love’ everywhere. It's all about love. We're very excited about it, and we've made it really easy. You don't have to sign up, be a member, or do anything like that. Just sign up to receive information in your inbox regularly. That's what we want to do – empower you. We have teaching videos, a guide to help you get started, and this is for schools, families, and individuals. We'll be there to provide reminders to keep you going and make giving a daily habit in your life. Any new habit takes a minimum of 66 days for most people to form, not just 21, so we'll be there for you. We'll send you daily ideas to your inbox, and it can be a reminder of what you can do that day, even if it's not the specific one for that day. We also have a space where you can share your giving stories, and people from around the world are already sharing their giving stories. We're building a community, but more importantly, we're there to teach, inspire, and empower you. What sets us apart is that you need to choose what works best for you. What works for me in Canada may be different from what works for someone in Africa or a small rural community in India. You need to adapt to your own life and your own world. When you're empowered to choose how you give, the benefits of happiness, mental health, and well-being are amplified. We're like your support team, and we'll be rolling out webinars and bringing our community together over the year. But most of all, we're there to support your journey. ALLIÉ: Since you started 365give all those years ago, Jacqueline, what has been your favorite give that you've done and a favorite that you've seen someone else do? JACQUELINE: I think one of my favorites is when there was a young woman, probably in her late teens, and this was a few years ago. We were in downtown Vancouver, and I was there with my kids. Sometimes, we go downtown to help the homeless people on our streets. We have a significant homeless community in Vancouver. We'll bring boxes of granola bars or whatever we can and spend some time with the homeless. I've always done that with my children. One day we were down there, and there was a young woman holding a sign that simply read ‘Free Hugs.’ That's all it said: free hugs. She was standing on one of the busiest street corners in Vancouver, which can be a bit scary at times with so many different people. But she stood there, and people just kept coming up for free hugs. Just watching people hug is such a powerful thing. I took my free hug as well. The bravery and courage it took for her to stand there 101 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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JACQUELINE: (continued) with that sign were amazing to me. That's one of my favorite things that I've witnessed. When you see people hugging, it creates that oxytocin hit, that feeling of love, that chemical reaction in your body. Watching that and the courage it took to do it was truly inspiring. One of the favorite gives I've done, that's a tough one. Let me think... One of the things that, this is going to sound funny, but it changed my world, which effectively changed the lives of many others, was a TED Talk I did a few years ago. Most people don't realize that TED Talks are all volunteer hours. You don't get paid for it; you choose to do it. It's a volunteer gig. I spent hundreds of hours preparing for it, and at times, it put me on my knees, making me feel scared and fearful. However, that experience and taking the time to do it changed my life personally. I had to overcome so many fears and limiting beliefs to do it. I did it for one reason: to spread the message of giving. It wasn't for personal benefit or making money. It was about spreading the message of giving. That experience taught me the most valuable life lesson – volunteering time and energy to make a difference in the world. It's been one of the most significant impacts I've made. ALLIÉ: Thank you so much, Jacqueline, for sharing these stories, for sharing what you do through 365give. Thank you for your open love letter to the world and an invitation for others to be part of something so beautiful. JACQUELINE: It all starts with us. If we're not full and our cup is empty, it's challenging to give. Making this a practice helps us fill our own cup, so we can flow that love out into the world. When our cup overflows without any expectation of receiving something in return, we can freely give to the world. That's my intention every day, and I hope to help others fill their own cup and flow love into the world as well. ALLIÉ: Thank you for the way you live to give and for showing up every day and every night. Thank you for helping us become more aware. Thank you so much. JACQUELINE: Namaste, my friend. ALLIÉ: Namaste. ∎
Visit 365give.ca to learn more and to get involved: 365give.ca
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“When I talk to myself I don’t use punctuation” RAIN PHOENIX
MUSICIAN, ARTIST & FOUNDER OF LAUNCHLEFT Photo Credit: Cassandra Church 104 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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FEATURE STORY WITH ESCAPE ARTIST LOVERS
PUNCTUATION
A NEW RELEASE BY ESCAPE ARTIST LOVERS VIA LAUNCHLEFT “‘Punctuation’ embraces a feel good alternative rock sound with a bit of a folky twang. The lyrics reflect on what it’s like to live fast and neglect punctuation as their guitar guides them through the track.” - Flaunt Magazine Los Angeles-based rock duo Escape Artist Lovers, made up of Rain Phoenix and Kirk Hellie, shared their new single + video, the mellowed, alt-rock outing “Punctuation” via LaunchLeft. First premiered via Flaunt Magazine, the track’s accompanying video, directed by Shane McKenzie, perfectly encapsulates the band’s vision, showcasing glitched out b-roll footage of the band cut between scenes of Los Angeles on an old television screen. Rain shared, “When I talk to myself I don’t use punctuation I’m not currently a fan of using it in a sentence either I don’t want to be told where to pause or get excited I want to feel my way through the words” Rain Phoenix and Kirk Hellie have been in each other’s orbits for over a decade, but only started writing together as a unit recently when they formed the group Escape Artist Lovers. The pair pulled inspiration from their colorful pasts – as well as their extensive record collections – to build on their new vision. The result is solid, honest, and bittersweet rock music. Leading up to their partnership, the two have flourished in their extensive backgrounds in the industry. Since the
PUNCTUATION
1990s, Kirk has been a sideman for the likes of Steve Jones and Glenn Branca, collaborated with various artists
including Atticus Ross, Jehnny Beth, and Mogwai, and has fronted his own bands. As for Rain, she grew up awash in OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO the arts. Starting out with her brother River in Aleka’s Attic, she has collaborated, toured, or worked with artists ranging from Michael Stipe (R.E.M.) and Gus Van Sant, to the much underrated Alternative Tentacles band, The Causey Way, then went on to front her own bands, before making her first solo record ‘River’, produced and co-written by Hellie. Escape Artist Lovers’ reverence for their musical heroes might be easy to take for granted. Not everybody opened for CLICK, TAP ORaSCAN Sonic Youth on their 18th birthday or has been much sought out sideman within the Los Angeles music scene. But
for the two artists, it’s impossible to deny their roots. The result is less a recreation of ‘70s Laurel Canyon, ‘80s Paisley Underground, ’90s alt songcraft and sonic exploration, and more of a continuation. Hellie and Phoenix aren’t operating in the shadow of history, they’re basking in its sunlight. TO WATCH NOW
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Leading up to their partnership, the two have flourished in their extensive backgrounds in the industry. Since the 1990s, Kirk has been a sideman for the likes of Steve Jones and Glenn Branca, collaborated with various artists including Atticus Ross, Jehnny Beth, and Mogwai, and has fronted his own bands. As for Rain, she grew up awash in the arts. Starting out with her brother River in Aleka’s Attic, she has collaborated, toured, or worked with artists ranging from Michael Stipe (R.E.M.) and Gus Van Sant, to the much underrated Alternative Tentacles band, The Causey Way, then went on to front her own bands, before making her first solo record ‘River’, produced and co-written by Hellie. Escape Artist Lovers’ reverence for their musical heroes might be easy to take for granted. Not everybody opened for Sonic Youth on their 18th birthday or has been a much sought out sideman within the Los Angeles music scene. But for the two artists, it’s impossible to deny their roots. The result is less a recreation of ‘70s Laurel Canyon, ‘80s Paisley Underground, ’90s alt songcraft and sonic exploration, and more of a continuation. Hellie and Phoenix aren’t operating in the shadow of history, they’re basking in its sunlight. ∎
Follow Escape Artist Lovers on Instagram: @escapeartistlovers Stream ‘Punctuation’ on your platform of choice: https://ingrv.es/punctuation-bvz-3 Visit LaunchLeft online: www.launchleft.com
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We teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate. KRYSTAL MCCOY
DIRECTOR OF VOICES FOR CHILDREN & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Jen Birchmeier 108 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Trigger Warning: This story includes graphic details about domestic abuse.
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH KRYSTAL MCCOY
FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR A SURVIVOR SUPPORTING OTHER SURVIVORS
Krystal McCoy did not grow up in a home with domestic abuse. She is not a minority. She does not come from poverty. She’s a well-educated woman. He was a claimed Christian man, and she a Christian woman. She was not who she thought of when she thought of a woman in an abusive relationship, but Krystal is a survivor of domestic violence. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it spans and affects different ages, genders, social economic backgrounds and religions. Today, she shares her story. Krystal is a survivor of domestic violence, not a victim. ALLIÉ: Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship has a story. Krystal, thank you for sharing yours today. Can you tell me about your journey and experiences leading up to and during the domestic violence situation? KRYSTAL: It was a Sunday morning in October of 2014. I was sitting in church as I did every Sunday morning. I was 37 years old, single mother (divorced) who felt lost, lonely and broken. I noticed him. I had never seen him before at church, and as it turned out, that was his first service. He had wheeled his grandmother down to the front of the congregation. He was standing there praying over her with elders from the congregation. I remember thinking, “Man, I wish I had a Godly man like that so bad”. Fast forward a few months to December. My wish is granted. During those
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I believe that these are going to be my last moments alive… KRYSTAL MCCOY
DIRECTOR OF VOICES FOR CHILDREN & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Jen Birchmeier 110 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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KRYSTAL: (continued) few months, our daughters had gotten to know each other through the youth program. I was taking pictures of all the kids at a goodbye party for the current youth pastor who was leaving. I become brave and ask him, “Would you like me to send you any of these pictures?” He grins, says “yes” and gives me his number. December 26th, my birthday, we had our first date. From there, everything started moving so quickly. All waking hours, when not working, he made sure they were spent as our little blended family. He said that he couldn’t bear the idea of not being together day and night. I should have known that was a red flag but with my lost, broken and lonely heart, I took it as admiration for me. He was a charmer. He started and co-lead the men’s ministry program at our church. He had the most servant heart for the congregation and was constantly helping someone fix something, or build something, or buying something for someone. We prayed grace with our girls before every meal. We watched Christian movies, went to Christian concerts and read devotionals together every day. I thought my dream had come true. On a typical morning before work and school, he was verbally abusing me. This particular morning he had called me a “f’ing psycho” My then 12 year old daughter screamed out “SHUT UP! I am so sick of the way you talk to my Mom” and she just started sobbing. And then it clicked, he had to go. And I asked him to go. And he went. But you see he only left for a few weeks. Then on a Thursday evening I received a call while at dinner with my daughter and he said that he was coming home. That I don’t get to decide that our marriage is over. That he was already lying in our bed. That we will work on this. That he will go to counseling. That we will go to counseling. That the family will go to counseling. He gave a great performance that night. He gave so many apologies and so many tears. And I believed them all because I wanted them to be true so badly.He was back. Fast-forward to Saturday night. He had only been back a few days before he decided that it wasn’t going to work. This time it was his choice. He was in control. He packed a bag, kissed me on my forehead and peacefully left. Early that Sunday morning I started receiving text messages from his Brother stating that he had found him outside of his apartment about 3am, his car running and laying in a pool of blood and vomit. That my husband was distraught about our separation. That I needed to fix this. And to please not make a big deal about what happened, it would only make things worse. He was going to wake my husband up, to have him get ready for church. Another message from his brother comes through “He woke up and isn’t in the best of mood…” I didn’t realize that he was coming home to get ready until he bust through the door. He began to undress in the back room, walk naked through the house and into the bathroom where my mother was getting ready. He started the shower and climbed in. Speaking mean words during his travel. When he got into the shower he said “I’m not going to counseling tomorrow. You can have it”. Seriously? He was canceling the very first counseling appt after he claimed he was going to get help. His phone lit up. I looked at it. There were multiple messages back and forth with a female. One that described their plans to meet up Monday night, when his counseling appt was scheduled. I threw the shower curtain open and cried out to him asking him “Why? Why did you even come back? Why did you even apologize if you didn’t mean it?” and that’s all it took. How dare I look at his phone! I stormed out of the bathroom headed to the back room to gather back up his stuff. He followed closely on my tail. Confrontation between him and my Mom and a coffee cup occurs. He is now degrading my Mom, calling her names. I have had enough. I gather his belongings into the bag, open the door, and drop them out in front of me. I just want him gone. Before I know it I am projected from behind and pushed into the side of his truck. I drop to the ground. I manage to get up and he gets his hands around my neck and pins me to the side of the house. I believe that these are going to be my last moments alive… my daughter will come home from youth retreat to her Mom dead.
Dear Heavenly Father, Please please watch over my girl. Please protect her and let her know how much I love her and how sorry I am. Amen 111 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Photo Credit: Jen Birchmeier 112 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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“In his mind he had me exactly where he wanted me — in holy matrimony. After marriage, the abuse became worse…” KRYSTAL: (continued) I somehow managed to drop down from his grasp, and ran toward the door. My mother states she hit him in the back with a coffee mug, which released his grasp a little. All I know is that I was able to drop down and into the house. And with the last bit of energy in me I tried to keep him out. Trying to force the door closed while he was trying to force it open, his face pinned in between. He gets through and I am back laying on the ground. He must have heard the sirens or just the fact that he knew that the cops were on their way, but I remember looking up from the ground and watched him turn around and walk out of the house. The next moments were surreal. Like I was watching a movie on the Lifetime channel. I was being interviewed by a police officer, then another. Pictures were being taken of my neck, my lip, my arms, my earring by the side of the house, the blood throughout. He is handcuffed and taken away. I am being examined in the back of an ambulance. ALLIÉ: How did you first recognize that you were in an abusive relationship? what were the early signs or red flags? KRYSTAL: Looking back there were red flags from the start of our relationship. Everything moved so quickly. All waking hours, when not working, he made sure they were spent as our little blended family. He said that he couldn’t bear the idea of not being together day and night. I should have known that was a red flag but with my lost, broken and lonely heart, I took it as admiration for me. He was a charmer. The red flags turned into abuse subtly. In between the moments of saying grace and prayer he would start to speak gut wrenching words to me like “Are you stupid?” or “It’s not rocket science Einstein '' and playing emotional and mental games. Like if he was mad at me for not having cleaned off the table, he would friend someone on social media that was extremely attractive to flirt with, just to play on my insecurities. Or he would belittle my parenting skills, knowing that I take the most pride in mothering. Or when he was upset because I had told him to turn the wrong way giving him directions, he drove erratically and super-fast on the freeway playing on my fear of being in car accidents. He would spit out these words and play the games and watch me break down in tears. Then he would apologize, cry along with me, use our daughters’ wellbeing against me if we were to break up, He would say, “We just need God in the middle of us. We can get through this. I can get better. I’m so thankful for you. Thankful that you stick by me to be a better man”. And so, I did. To the point of saying, “I do”. And in his mind he had me exactly where he wanted me — in holy matrimony. After marriage, the abuse became worse. The words spoken were more degrading, they became more often (in fact it was daily now), and now not only would he treat me like this in private but in front of our daughters. He began disappearing in the middle of the night to be found sandwiched between two women at the bar. But it was different now. There was no admission of being in the wrong, there was no apology, and there were no tears from him or plea to stand by his side because I made him a better man. You see he now started validating his behavior by blaming me for his actions. ALLIÉ: What were the factors that finally prompted you to leave the abusive situation, Krystal? KRYSTAL: Well Allie, you would think that it would have thought it would have been when he was arrested for attempted murder by strangulation, but it wasn’t. There were only a few months post assault with no communication, despite the “do not contact” order that was in place by the legal system for a year. It was a rocky journey in itself up to the point of leaving “for good.” Initially I wanted him out of my life but then as my new reality set in, I changed my mind. I wrote a letter to the Judge asking that the “do not contact” order be dropped, and read it during one of the hearings. I didn’t want to go through another divorce. Another failed relationship. I wanted to work it out, and he did too. The Judge did the best thing he could have done for me and stated that he wouldn’t even consider dropping the 113 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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“Me leaving for good wasn’t about me, it was about her. It was about my daughter.” KRYSTAL: (continued) order unless I participated in three sessions with the Legal Advocate at my local shelter. I attended those sessions and received a completion certificate and “no not contact” order was dropped. I however continued with services at the Safe Center and began to meet with their Domestic Violence Advocate for counseling sessions. By the time sentencing occurred, I had stood up on his behalf multiple times, and his original charge of attempted murder by strangulation was pled down to aggravated domestic violence. He was sentenced to six months of work release. I would go to the jail parking lot at night and refill his lunch cooler with food, drinks and ice. We talked on the phone regularly. I would visit him once a week (you can tell that the “no contact” order being dropped was not a normal thing to occur because it was quite the deal every time I presented in person to see him). Back to your question, what finally prompted me to leave… The abuse began again, even with him in jail. The verbal abuse was in full force. I could do nothing right again. Oh, and I was sleeping with one of his best friends (I was not). He had a big window from his cell room and he could see me come and go in the evening when I was changing out his cooler. One of the times I had come from a hair appointment where I went from long straight hair to shoulder length with bangs and layers. I will never forget the look of disgust on his face. He made this motion with his hands as scissors across his forehead and shook his head at me. He soon called me and spewed his disgust at me. Shortly after that event, his mother needed a phone number out of his phone. I retrieved his phone from his car when doing one of my cooler exchanges to look up that number. Upon turning on his phone, multiple messages pulled up from other women. After scrolling through the messages, yes I invaded his privacy; there were multiple women in which he was exchanging nudes with (one he had taken from a hotel room we stayed at on my birthday, a picture I had never seen) and multiple messages that indicated that there was infidelity. So that was my final factor that prompted me, right? Nope…but I did start to tune in a little closer during my advocacy sessions. I had been attending sessions now for about four months at this time. I recognized now that I was in an abusive relationship. I recognized the cycle of abuse in our relationship. Also during this time, he violated his work release agreement and was sentenced to an additional 6 months, and had to do so from “regular jail”, not work release. I laid in bed with my daughter after a long day & evening spent in the Emergency Department a migraine. My phone rang, as it did every night around that time. I let him know that I had just spent all day in the ER with my daughter and that I was going to keep the call short. That set him off. He wanted to know “What does that have to do with you talking to me? She’s in her own bed right?” Didn’t ask why we had been in the ER. Didn’t ask how she was feeling now. I was physically, mentally and emotionally depleted and feeling defeated, so I ended the call. I just laid there and reflected on what had transpired, as he began to blow up my phone. In the 24 hours that followed me ending the call, he attempted to call me 63 times! How does one even manage to do that from jail?!?! I knew it was time for a safety plan to be able to safely exit the relationship for good. I reported what had happened to the shelter and they connected me again with the Legal Advocate, who helped me obtain a PPO. The Judge granted the PPO. I could not imagine my daughter going through pain someday if she was in the relationship I was in. Me leaving for good wasn’t about me, it was about her. It was about my daughter. We teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate. I was not teaching her what love looks likes. That’s what finally prompted me to leave. 114 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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ALLIÉ: Can you share any strategies or coping mechanisms that helped you deal with the trauma and its aftermath? KRYSTAL: Absolutely! I have many activities that have helped me to cope with the trauma and aftermath. I started a journal the night of the assault. It has really helped me to reflect back on the abuse and how far I’ve come in my healing journey. Music is my love language, so I have listened to lots of music. Lauren Diagle’s Look Up Child album was on repeat 24/7 for 2018. Last week I attended her concert and got to hear those songs live. Read! Knowledge is power. Plus when you read testimonies from other survivors, you really get a sense of not being alone and that there is hope still. The biggest strategy I can give you is to set boundaries and stick to them. By setting boundaries you are recognizing what caused pain for you to create those boundaries and what needs to be done to help prevent the same pain in the future. It’s the healthy way to “teach” people how to treat you by letting them know what you won’t tolerate. ALLIÉ: As a survivor of domestic violence yourself and an advocate of support for other survivors, what misconceptions or stereotypes about domestic violence have you come across? KRYSTAL: I think the biggest misconceptions are that domestic violence discriminates and that it’s easy to leave an abuser. I was not who I thought of when I thought of a women in an abusive relationship. I am a well-educated, middle class, white, Christian woman. But domestic violence does not discriminate. It spans and affects different ages, genders, social economic backgrounds and religions. And I guess I have never had someone actually say to me that leaving an abuser is “easy” but the question that repeatedly comes up is, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” That to me implies that it would be an easy feat. It’s not. There are so many factors that go into why someone doesn’t “just leave.” Some of the reasons I have heard most commonly are financial reasons, fear of losing custody of their kids (or even just the time separated from them) and fear for their (and their child’s safety. When a victim leaves, the abuser feels like they are losing control and it will often escalate them. Approximately 75% of women who are murdered by their abuser are murdered after they have attempted to leave the relationship. So many times I thought, “It would be easier just to stay.” ALLIÉ: While people often mean well, they don’t always do well. Krystal, how can society, friends, family, and professionals better support survivors of domestic violence? KRYSTAL: Oh I love this question! That’s the exact question we should all be asking ourselves, what can we do to help support survivors of domestic violence? 1) Believe them because they often fear your doubt. It was very hard for me to speak to our Pastor and his wife of what happened. To speak ill of a man who was so servant at church, who was instrumental in men’s ministry and had spoken such beautiful vows to me less than a year earlier when they wed us. Would they even believe me? They did. 2) Assure them that abuse is not tolerable. I wasn’t sure how my Pastor and his wife, or anyone for that matter, would respond to what happened. How severe would they find it? What would they suggest from here? Would they recommend that I tolerate it under the vows that were recently exchanged? Would they suggest couples counseling? They stated that abuse is not tolerable. 3) Make them feel safe. Safety was a huge concern of mine and so many different people within the community played a significant role in making me feel safe. The officers that responded to the call were educated on how to handle the situation and were empathetic towards me. The paramedics were prompt in tending to my medical needs and provided comfort while doing so. The emergency room staff made sure to communicate to me that I was safe and explained every step of the process for treatment that day. Safety became a concern when he was bonded out. My neck on a constant swivel, eyes always peeled. The Pastor and his wife connected me with someone who came into my home and did a safety evaluation and offered to help make any needed changes. 115 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Be their voice, when they are voiceless. KRYSTAL MCCOY
DIRECTOR OF VOICES FOR CHILDREN & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Jen Birchmeier 116 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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KRYSTAL: (continued) Extra safety measures were put in place for during church service. The Public Safety officers at my work took extra measures to keep me safe by walking me to and from my car and making additional safety round checks in my workplace. I felt protected. 4) Support them. Members of the congregation went with me to court hearings. One member shared her domestic violence experience with me, as to make me feel like I am not alone. Friends and family would send me worship songs, or uplifting messages, poetry, or verses. They were there by my side through all of the different emotions that I expressed. And never once did I feel alone or unsupported. A complete stranger to me (a friend of my sister’s) that was a domestic violence survivor reached out to me after getting wind of my story. She brought so much support to me through sharing hers. Now she is a dear friend of mine. 5) Be their voice, when they are voiceless. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice for those being crushed” – Proverbs 31:8 A friend was my voice when mine was shaking. The judge mandated that I seek services at the Safe Center when I could not voice that I needed them, he did. Be a survivor’s voice by connecting them with their local shelter. This is crucial to helping them find hope. Without the support of my community of congregation members, family, friends, coworkers, law enforcement, emergency responders, medical staff, strangers and local shelter, I may still feel hopeless. I would have had a much different ending to my story than the one I have. Maybe I would still be writing chapters in that book of marriage. Or, maybe I wouldn’t even be alive to tell my story. ALLIÉ: You are a board member of the SafeCenter. Krystal, please share what this organization does to prevent, educate, empower and advocate? KRYSTAL: Oh another one of my favorite questions, I love to be able to speak to how they (as an organization) live out their mission daily! They truly amaze me.To start, they are a 24/7 operation with a support line for domestic and sexual violence survivors. The services they provide are FREE! They provide safe housing, provide meals, personal hygiene items, legal assistance and advocacy. They are constantly in the community providing education on the services they provide, as well as educating their survivors about domestic & sexual violence. Through their services they are helping to empower women to leave abusive and unsafe relationships. They are empowering the community to raise their voices for survivors by events they coordinate like the upcoming candle vigils being held in both Clinton and Shiawassee Counties (as they service both areas). And they definitely advocating for survivors by standing by their side in court, connecting them with Legal Services and being their voice in “political rings”, and so much more. ALLIÉ: You, Krystal, are not a victim of domestic violence. You are a survivor of it. How has the abuse you endured made you stronger? KRYSTAL: It has strengthened my faith by learning to be obedient. When I was in the Emergency Department (at the very hospital I worked at), I cried out on the gurney “Why God?!” and I very clearly heard, “To be a voice for others.” I was a little taken back by it. I definitely didn’t understand what that meant at the time. But what that has grown to look like is my involvement with Survivor’s Speaking Bureau, the work on the Board at the Safe Center, the very organization that gave so much to me, starting my annual ‘We Believe You’ event that is about what a faith based community approach to domestic violence encompasses, to victims reaching out to me to be part of their survivor journey to healing, to me being here with you today. I would be lying if I said it is “easy” to be a voice for others because it’s not. Every time I share my testimony, I shake. It’s triggering. Sometimes I will have nightmares after sharing. I questioned multiple occasions (early on) about this being my calling. I have seen the fruit of my obedience by others that have begun their journey to survivorship because I shared. I trust in Him now more than I did before the abuse. Being a survivor has made my faith stronger. 117 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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You are not alone. KRYSTAL MCCOY
DIRECTOR OF VOICES FOR CHILDREN & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Jen Birchmeier 118 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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AwareNow Podcast
FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR Exclusive Interview w/Krystal McCoy https://awarenow.us/podcast/from-victim-to-survivor
TAP/SCAN TO LISTEN
ALLIÉ: What advice would you give to someone currently in an abusive relationship or struggling to leave one? KRYSTAL: Seek out your local women’s domestic violence shelter for resources. The local services I sought were instrumental in my journey. They provided support, education and hope that helped me to heal. They provided me with so much knowledge about what domestic violence is. With that knowledge, I was able to reflect on the fact that I was in a domestic violence relationship. They helped me with safety by establishing a safe plan for leaving. They supported me by attending court hearings with me. They helped me to deal with my grief through counseling sessions. Please if you are a survivor, take advantage of resources that are available in your area. They are your hope dealer. You are worthy. You are not alone. ∎
If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
We are proud to introduce Krystal McCoy as AwareNow’s newest Official Ambassador for Domestic Violence Awareness. Hers is a story that strengthens and supports the voiceless who are dealing with domestic violence. We’re honored to have Krystal part of our community as we work to raise awareness for causes one story at a time. Learn more about Krystal by visiting her ambassador page: www.awarenessties.us/krystal-mccoy
119 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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The goal of this book is to help save lives. KEVIN HINES
SPEAKER, WRITER, AND MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Courtesy of Kevin Hines 120 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH KEVIN HINES BY ERIN MACAULEY
THE ART OF BEING BROKEN HOW STORYTELLING SAVES LIVES
“The millisecond my hands left the rail it was an instant regret. 19 of the 26 remaining survivors have all said the same thing” - Kevin Hines Kevin Hines is the world’s leading mental health & suicide prevention advocate, as well as being a motivational speaker and filmmaker. At age 19 Kevin attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Miraculously, he survived (he is one of only 39 people who have survived this jump, with over 2000 people losing their lives this way). Only 26 of them remain alive, many have died of natural causes or old age. Today, Kevin travels the world advocating for mental health and #brainpain so that others will #beheretomorrow. Kevin and his wife Margaret opened their own film production company and he has already produced one multi best film award winning movie, Suicide the Ripple Effect https://vimeo.com/ondemand/suicidetherippleeffect and is currently making a movie called The Net, chronicling the history of building the net at the Golden Gate Bridge, to stop suicides from happening there. Here, Erin Macauley, the Director of Advocacy for #SameHere Global, the Global Mental Health Movement, interviews Kevin about his new book, his suicide attempt and more about mental health and #brainpain. ERIN: Firstly, Kevin I want to thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview with me. Let’s get stuck in right away and discuss your new book, The Art of Being Broken, How Storytelling Saves Lives. I’ve read this book (or ‘devoured’ it would be more fitting as I couldn’t put it down), and you’re so open about your life, particularly your birth parents who tragically passed away due to drug addiction and your brother who also sadly passed when you were a baby. How important was it for you to be so open about this and include it in your book? KEVIN: Erin, It was crucial for me to be open about my birth parents and biological brothers passing before their time, because it significantly affected the rest of my life. After my brother died, I developed a severe detachment disorder from reality, and abandonment issues which I deal with today. Losing them, and not being able to ever tell them I love them continues to break my heart. However finding my half brother, and half sister, and the rest of my extended family has been a true gift. ERIN: What was the driving force behind publishing this book. Why was it so important to you? KEVIN: The driving force behind publishing this book is simple, to help other people find hope, so they can find healing, so they can be here tomorrow. The goal of this book is to help save lives. It is so important to me because I literally care about every person on this planet. I want this book to reach a global audience and change lives. ERIN: What would you tell 19 year old boys now that are experiencing #brainpain and having suicidal ideations like you had? KEVIN: I would tell 19 year old boys and young men to just breathe…in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale through pursed lips like a whistle but no sound for 6-8 seconds. Do that 30-40 more times. Just breathe. Take a pause, just because you are in a world of brain pain today, doesn’t mean you won’t have a beautiful tomorrow, but you have to be here to get there in the first place. None of us have cracked the code to immortality. Give yourself time plus hard work for things to change. Hard work, because nothing good ever came without it. 121 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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My thoughts do not have to become my actions, they can simply be my thoughts. KEVIN HINES
SPEAKER, WRITER, AND MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION ADVOCATE Photo Credit: Courtesy of Kevin Hines 122 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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“Today, I always tell my father I am safe. I cannot remove his trauma, but I can always let him know I am safe and will never attempt again.” ERIN: You’ve said that your birth parents were also diagnosed with bipolar disorder and you believe there is a strong genetic link to your own diagnosis. How old were you when you first started experiencing symptoms and what led to you seeking help? KEVIN: Both of my biological parents, may they rest in peace, were diagnosed with manic depression back in their day, what we today call bipolar depression or disorder. Therefore, I was genetically predisposed twice. I had hallucinations when I was in 4th grade, hearing voices, seeing things, but never told anyone. They at the time eventually went away. They resurfaced full force at 17 and a half years of age. I sought help at 17, my family had me go talk to my first psychiatrist. The problem was that in the beginning of my treatment, I lied about my symptoms in every session. I got used to telling my family, and doctors what they wanted to hear. I was filled with fear that if I told the truth about my psychosis, they’d lock me up in a white walled padded room, and throw away the key. ERIN: At age 19 you attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and as I quoted at the beginning you’ve said the millisecond your hands left the rail you had instant regret. How did it feel knowing your attempt had been unsuccessful if you regretted it from the beginning? KEVIN: Erin, I appreciate this question. I do not believe any suicide attempt or death is successful unsuccessful, instead they are attempted, completed, or survived. I learned that day like all the other survivors from the GGB that my thoughts do not have to become my actions, they can simply be my thoughts. Thus our thoughts if angry, aggressive, hateful, spiteful, negative, or dangerous do not have to become our actions, they can simply be our thoughts. They do not have to own, rule or define what we do next. ERIN: You have an amazing relationship with your adoptive parents and family. How did it make you feel when your Dad said every time his phone rings his first thought is ‘is Kevin alive’. KEVIN: It broke my heart. My mom and dad, yes they adopted me, but they are my parents and I am their son. Patrick and Debra Hines absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt saved my life. They made me their son, they could have chosen any child, they chose me. They made my childhood and adolescents past my traumatic infancy (which most media get wrong for lack of listening and say my childhood was terrible) phenomenally wonderful. My childhood was beautiful because of them. When my dad said that in our film Suicide The Ripple Effect if he still feared my death by suicide and he replied gripping the phone is his pocket, “Kevin, every time the phone rings.” He didn’t say when I call him, he said that when the phone goes off it’s his first and every thought. My actions did that, I must and do take responsibility for my actions. Today, I always tell my father I am safe. I cannot remove his trauma, but I can always let him know I am safe and will never attempt again. ERIN: In this book you include the stories of 7 other people who share their own lived experience with suicide attempts, tragic losses, deep trauma and mental health conditions. Why was including these stories so important? 123 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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KEVIN: It was so very important to share these seven other stories, 6 other contributing authors, and one story I shared with permission from a friend. It’s important that I give them all the credit they’re owed. They worked very hard on their chapters for the book, and I couldn’t be more grateful for their inclusion in my third book. Brandi Benson shared her story of surviving a very deadly form of cancer, her own battles with suicidal ideation and so much more. Lindsey Dunbar tells her and her husband's story of surviving 5 consecutive miscarriages, and how she keeps moving forward. Ashley Hunt writes an incredible and harrowing chapter on surviving a sexual assault, and dealing with the tragic loss and drug usage of her mother when she was very young. Jas Rawlinson of Australia shares her story of living from early childhood with domestic abuse from her father, her own sexual assault recovery, and her advocacy for women around the world. Patrick Lawson also from Oz describes his journey dealing with severe anxiety and depression, to founding a mental health organization to help others. Then there’s the powerhouse story of Dayna Whitmer and her family, having lost her son Mathew to a jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. Finally I included the story of Joe Williams a former Australian NRL player and champion boxer who advocates for his Aboriginals rights across Australia. Their chapters will move the soul on suicide and have all moved mountains in the lives of people across the globe! ERIN: Ashley Hunt and Patrick Lawson are two people you have included in your book with their lived experience stories. Ashley discusses her sexual assault and Patrick talks about his suicide attempt. How did you choose the people to write their own individual pieces for the book? KEVIN: So I met Patty “Oh” Lawson traveling to Australia searching for people to include in my first feature length documentary film ‘Suicide The Ripple Effect’ (vimeo.com/ondemand/suicidetherippleeffect) and I met Ashley Hunt walking down the street on my way to my mother in laws house in 2006. We said a casual hello, “Hope ya have a good day” kinda thing, and then some years later I ran into her at a cafe and we exchanged our stories. Both of their stories hit me like a Mac truck! I knew we’d be doing work together from there on out. Actually, Ashley is also featured in our film. But her story deserves a documentary all by itself! ERIN: Without giving too much away, can you tell us a bit about your path to recovery? KEVIN: It was a long, arduous, and crooked path, oh and mostly uphill. For over 23 years I’ve lived with bipolar depression, and finding a way to build a routine of wellness was something I had to educate myself on. This is the routine that thousands of people use which I devised for myself and my struggles to survive all the brain pain as in. ERIN: You are now a renowned speaker and the world’s leading mental health and suicide prevention advocate. Do you think you were put on this earth to do the work you’re currently doing? I’m a big believer in fate and destiny and to me it seems like someone was looking out for you that day you attempted to take your life so you could do this as your life’s work and help an extraordinary number of people. KEVIN: Well, we all have purpose. I have many. I am to be a good husband to my lovely wife, Margaret, a great sibling to my brothers and sisters, a wonderful son to my parents Pat & Debi, and yes it is part of my purpose to give back wherever and whenever I can to those who live with, struggle, and battle brain and mental pain. I was put on this earth, like all of us, to help others, and as many as humanly possible. However, I am not alone. And that’s the purpose of The Art of Being Broken. Each of us has a story, I’m just the guy who’s usually got the mic, or the pen. Your story is just as important as mine. Maybe you won’t be telling it to crowds of 30,000 like I have, but I promise your story can make a difference in the lives of those who surround you. That’s why I always ask people to #KeepGoing to #KeepOnKeepinOn and to always #BeHereTomorrow! ∎
Get Kevin’s book: ‘The Art of Being Broken’: https://www.kevinhinesstory.com/shop Follow him on Instagram: www.instagram.com/kevinhinesstory
124 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Worrying, although often taxing, can sometimes be helpful. ELIZABETH BLAKE-THOMAS
STORYTELLER, PHILANTHROPIST & OFFICIAL AMBASSADOR FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING AWARENESS 126 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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‘MEDICINE WITH WORDS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY ELIZABETH BLAKE-THOMAS
WE ARE ALL WORRIERS CONNECTED THROUGH CONCERN
“Worrying does not take away tomorrows troubles; it takes away todays peace.” - Unknown The Oxford dictionary describes worry as “to keep thinking about unpleasant things that might happen or about problems that you have.” According to the 2021 Gallup National Health and Well-being Index, 62% of adults reported a daily sense of worry. This could be an immediate worry, such as worrying about being late for something A reflective worry, such as worrying about someone, or an imagined worry, which is worrying about something from the past or future. Examples of things that can cause worry are: ●
A stressful job
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A toxic relationship
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Life changes such as divorce or moving
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Financial issues
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Physical and health issues
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Sensory overload
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Lack of purpose and drive
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Limited personal time
Even having the most relaxing life, there will always be something that causes worry at one point or another. It’s only natural to worry about things, but it’s when that worrying becomes excessive that perspective needs to come into play. We actually have to change our perspective in order to feel better. Otherwise emotional and physical energy can be sapped. (Please note, general worrying is not the same as an anxiety disorder). It is imperative to work out what is causing the worry. On the surface, it might seem like an immediate thing, i.e. not getting a job. But actually looking deeper could mean the worry is in fact something more, i.e. not having enough money to pay rent, worrying about being evicted, etc. Our worries often can be linked, and the more linked they are, the heavier they can sometimes feel. Try to break down what is the root of your worry, so you can then try to deal with it. One way of dealing with worry is to actually give “time” to worry. Actually dedicating 10 minutes to writing the worries out and thinking about them, can help realize what worries are actually necessary, if any. Worrying often stems from us trying to have control. Try to look at these worries realistically. Find a healthy balance between what can actually be done and what can’t with the worries. I cannot singlehandedly end world poverty, but there are still things I can do to help. I might not be able to cure a friend’s illness, but I could show compassion. To resolve a worry, try to apply practical ideas in order to help, instead of feeling burdened by something impractical. 127 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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AwareNow Podcast
WE ARE ALL WORRIERS Written and Narrated by Elizabeth Blake-Thomas https://awarenow.us/podcast/we-are-all-worriers
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Sometimes life gives us worries that we cannot control or resolve. While it may not be a permanent solution, we may be able to find moments of peace away from our worry using our mind for good. We all have moments in our past when we didn’t have a sense of worry, when we felt something I like to call a little “pocket of happiness.” We can find happiness in the present when we look back on those moments and sit and relish in them. This could be a childhood moment, such as when you ate something associated with a positive feeling, or sat in freshly cut grass and smelled the outdoors. Reopening a pocket of happiness can help give you a mental break from your worries, even if just for a moment. Worrying, although often taxing, can sometimes be helpful. Healthy worrying can push us to find great solutions to real and present tangible problems. Worrying about climate change might lead to an idea about becoming ecofriendly in your house, in turn helping the environment. Worrying about being late for work one day. This could be resolved by calling the boss and explaining an estimated arrival time, to which the boss in turn might reply, “No problem. Just get here safely.” Thus removing the worry all together and possibly making the drive to work safer. While going through life, it is important to remember that everyone else worries too. Use this knowledge to be more empathetic. If we all keep this universal connection in mind, we can in turn be a more understanding, and ultimately happier, world. ∎
ELIZABETH BLAKE-THOMAS Storyteller, Philanthropist & Official Ambassador for Human Trafficking Awareness www.awarenessties.us/elizabethblakethomas Elizabeth Blake-Thomas is a British award-winning storyteller and philanthropist based in Los Angeles. She is the founder and resident director of entertainment company Mother & Daughter Entertainment, whose motto is “Making Content That Matters”, putting focus on each project starting a conversation amongst viewers. She is also the creator of the healing methodology Medicine with Words which is designed to help “spring clean” your mind and help free yourself from unnecessary noise so that you can live a more purposeful, peaceful life. She is the author of Filmmaking Without Fear which is a multi-medium resource curated for indie filmmakers. Her FWF podcast is available on all streaming platforms, and the book of the same name is available on Amazon. She is a regular on panels at Sundance, Cannes and Toronto International Film Festival, Elizabeth mentors wherever possible, ensuring she sends the elevator back down to all other female storytellers.
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As twins, we’ve always shared much more than just our DNA. NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
FOUNDERS OF DIGITAL BROS CREATIVE STUDIOS 130 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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PERSONAL STORY BY NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
GROWING UP WITH PNKD
TWIN BROTHERS FACING A RARE DISORDER & DISCOVERING THEIR TRUE CALLING In a world where uniqueness is often celebrated, there are forms of uniqueness that come with challenges few can understand. We are Nicholas (Nick) and Christopher (Chris) Pilon, twin brothers who have spent our lives navigating the complexities of a rare neurological disorder known as Paroxysmal Non-Kinesigenic Dyskinesia, or PNKD for short. This journey has been anything but straightforward, punctuated by numerous medical tests, sleepless nights, and unavoidable disruptions in daily life. Yet, it is a journey that has not only shaped who we are but has also inspired us to turn obstacles into opportunities. In the face of adversity, we've discovered our passions, founded a digital storytelling business, and committed ourselves to advocacy for those battling with Diabetes through a partnership with a cause close to our hearts. In the following article, we aim to share our experiences—both the struggles and the triumphs—as we coped with PNKD while also forging our path in the world of digital storytelling and advocacy. From early consultations with medical experts to emotional hurdles and eventual breakthroughs, we invite you to join us as we recount a life story where challenges became the stepping stones to our dreams.
Early Life with PNKD Childhood is often described as a carefree time of exploration and discovery, but for us, it came with its own unique set of challenges. Diagnosed with Paroxysmal Non-Kinesigenic Dyskinesia (PNKD), we faced an uphill battle that many our age couldn't fathom. This rare neurological disorder manifested itself through unpredictable episodes that interrupted our daily lives, affecting each of us in distinct ways. Our parents, realizing the importance of documentation for both medical and personal insights, meticulously recorded these episodes. From capturing video footage to maintaining detailed journals, they left no stone unturned. These records served as crucial evidence, not only for our medical evaluations but also for helping specialists understand the nuanced ways PNKD manifested in each of us. Seeking answers and treatments, our family didn't hesitate to go the extra mile—quite literally. From consulting local healthcare providers to flying across the country to Washington, D.C., we met with an array of specialists who performed numerous tests to better understand our condition. The gamut of medical evaluations included MRI scans, tests measuring brain activity, and consultations with neurologists specializing in movement disorders. Nick faced intense and often violent episodes that predominantly occurred at night, disrupting his sleep and well-being. On the other hand, Chris experienced episodes that were generally less intense but occurred throughout the day, causing frequent interruptions during school hours. Though the journey was tough, hope shimmered on the horizon. Doctors speculated that remission could be a possibility as we entered our teenage years, providing a glimmer of optimism that punctuated our otherwise challenging daily lives. 131 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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We no longer felt like mere subjects in a medical experiment but like individuals who were actively participating in our own healthcare journey. NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
FOUNDERS OF DIGITAL BROS CREATIVE STUDIOS 132 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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A Journey to Understanding: Specialists and Breakthroughs As we navigated the intricate maze of PNKD, finding the right medical guidance became an imperative quest, one that led us to the doors of various healthcare professionals. But of all the specialists we met, one stood out—not only for his expertise but also for his human touch—Dr. Kip Chillag at the Helen DeVos Children's Hospital. Dr. Chillag was more than just a neurologist to us; he was a beacon of understanding in an often confusing and stressful healthcare journey. He took the time to demystify our disorder, walking us through the intricate neural pathways and explaining how each episode was triggered. It was an eye-opening experience that not only helped us understand the science behind our condition but also armed us with the knowledge to better manage our symptoms. What set Dr. Chillag apart was his ability to make complex tests and treatments relatable and less intimidating. We no longer felt like mere subjects in a medical experiment but like individuals who were actively participating in our own healthcare journey. His demeanor turned what could have been a nerve-wracking experience into something more manageable, even comforting. Our collaboration with Dr. Chillag led to multiple breakthroughs in our treatment. Nick ended up going into remission in early 2005—a landmark moment that provided much-needed relief and a renewed sense of optimism. Chris, although he continued to experience episodes until the summer of 2009, benefitted from more effective management strategies that were developed in consultation with Dr. Chillag. This transformative journey with Dr. Chillag didn't just help us medically; it also laid the foundation for a proactive approach to life's challenges—an approach that we've applied in other areas of our lives as well.
Personal Challenges: Chris's Struggle While Nick's episodes were severe, mostly occurring during the nighttime, Chris's battles with PNKD presented differently. His episodes would unpredictably interrupt their days, instilling a caution that weighed on both his mental and physical well-being. The unpredictable nature of these events led to frequent pauses in their routine, with Chris's educational journey from 6th to 8th grade bearing the brunt of these interruptions. In a context where consistency and predictability play pivotal roles, Chris's irregular episodes started to cause significant disruptions. Often, he found himself confined at home, disconnected from his peers and the typical cadence of school life. This separation not only hindered his academic achievements but also inflicted emotional strains. The confines of home life paved the way for mounting mental health challenges, especially depression. As he grappled with the episodes, the accompanying sensations of solitude and detachment intensified. The persistent dread of missing out on pivotal life moments—a fear made even more poignant when witnessing his twin, Nick, engaging in activities that seemed beyond his reach—added another layer of emotional distress. Although these trials were challenging, they also catalyzed Chris's journey of self-exploration and the development of coping mechanisms. This path towards self-improvement became clearer when they were introduced to Dr. Jen Edwards at BRAINS in Grand Rapids, Michigan
Seeking Help: Introduction to Dr. Jen Edwards at BRAINS As we faced the mounting challenges of managing PNKD episodes, it became increasingly evident that Chris needed specialized expertise to guide him toward effective coping mechanisms. Their search led them to Dr. Jen Edwards, a neuropsychologist at BRAINS in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Recognized for its individualized and holistic approach to mental health and neurological challenges, BRAINS became a beacon of hope for Chris. From the outset, it was clear that Dr. Edwards offered a different perspective. Instead of only addressing the physical symptoms of PNKD, she delved deep, acknowledging the emotional and psychological facets of the condition. 133 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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The synergy between the two of us was almost instinctive. NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
FOUNDERS OF DIGITAL BROS CREATIVE STUDIOS 134 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Under Dr. Edwards' guidance, Chris learned specialized breathing exercises, which proved invaluable. These techniques significantly curtailed the duration of his episodes, allowing Chris to reclaim a semblance of control during those distressing moments. Adding depth to their therapeutic relationship was Dr. Edwards's personal history. Having herself faced challenges with epilepsy and being a mother to twins, she offered an unparalleled understanding of Chris's journey, forging a deep empathetic connection. Beyond the physical strategies, Dr. Edwards provided Chris with a safe space to confront his feelings of loneliness and the "fear of missing out." Through their sessions, he found ways to articulate and navigate the emotional labyrinth associated with PNKD. Their time together was not merely a series of medical consultations. It marked a pivotal moment in Chris's journey, equipping him with the insights and tools necessary to handle the complexities of PNKD with renewed confidence.
Remission and Moving On As we transitioned into our teenage years, the predictions made by our doctors started to materialize. For Nick, remission graced him as early as 2005. This change wasn't just a medical landmark; it was a profound psychological relief for him. Nights for Nick transformed from being distressing battlegrounds to periods of peaceful sleep, empowering him to direct his energy toward other endeavors. In contrast, Chris experienced a more extended journey toward remission. His episodes remained a defining part of his daily life until the summer of 2009. As he stepped into 9th grade, there was a noticeable shift. The episodes that once loomed large in his life began to lessen in both frequency and intensity until they eventually vanished. As the cloud lifted, Chris was enveloped in a profound sense of relief. This period of remission didn't just signify an end to our medical challenges; it represented the dawning of new opportunities. It felt like we were handed a blank canvas, unencumbered by the shackles of PNKD, and we were eager to chart our paths forward. This newfound liberty allowed us to fully chase our aspirations. It was a time of significant personal and professional growth, leading us into our collective passion for digital storytelling, business, and advocacy. The onset of remission reshaped our lives, not just in terms of health but also in how we perceived our futures. We weren't just survivors of a condition; we were poised to etch our distinctive imprints on the world. A Passion Unfettered: NOLIProductions to Digital Bros Creative Studios, LLC The end of our battles with PNKD signaled the start of a new chapter where we could chase our dreams without constant disruption. One dream that burned brightly for us was our mutual passion for storytelling, especially through the medium of video. This love for narrative soon became the cornerstone of our joint business endeavor. In the beginning, we laid the foundation for NOLIProductions, a testament to our shared enthusiasm for capturing compelling stories. While Nick honed his craft in cinematography, Chris delved deep into the intricate world of postproduction. The synergy between the two of us was almost instinctive. It felt as if each had discovered a niche within the expansive universe of storytelling. Together, we could transform a mere idea into a polished masterpiece, a journey that filled us both with immense satisfaction. As time unfurled, and our skills matured and our vision broadened, we felt the need to transition into a brand that truly embodied our evolving aspirations. This led to the metamorphosis of NOLIProductions into Digital Bros Creative Studios, LLC. With this revamped identity, our mission grew: to offer a bespoke approach to digital storytelling, addressing a spectrum of requirements from marketing endeavors to poignant messages that resonated on a global stage. 135 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Their mission has become a part of our mission, their cause a part of our storytelling. NICHOLAS & CHRISTOPHER PILON
FOUNDERS OF DIGITAL BROS CREATIVE STUDIOS 136 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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But this change was more than just a rebranding exercise. The birth of Digital Bros Creative Studios was a declaration of our refined proficiency and philosophy. Through this initiative, we aimed not merely to capture stories but to craft narratives laden with purpose and emotion, narratives that could touch hearts, enlighten minds, and inspire actions.
Working with Drive For Diabetes Awareness, INC. As our business began to flourish, we found ourselves looking for opportunities that not only aligned with our skill set but also resonated with our personal beliefs and life experiences. It was during this search that we encountered Brent Kuehl and the heartbreaking yet inspiring story of the Kuehl family. We were immediately captivated by their mission— to spread awareness of Diabetes and its symptoms in memory of their late baby brother, Rocco. Our first interaction involved creating a promotional video that highlighted the symptoms of Diabetes, an initiative we undertook pro bono. The chemistry was instant, and what began as a one-time project evolved into an enduring partnership. Today, we proudly serve as official sponsors and advocates for Drive For Diabetes Awareness, INC. Our roles have expanded to include maintaining their website and occasionally crafting content for their social media channels. One of the most meaningful projects we embarked on was capturing the journey of Lacy Kuehl, a young woman on a mission to honor the memory of her baby brother and contribute to the cause. Her commitment led her to participate in the Jr. Iditarod in Alaska, a grueling dog sled race that she completed despite the odds. Our documentary, filmed after 38 days of her intense training, not only chronicled her physical journey but also shed light on her emotional and psychological experiences. It served as a testament to her resolve and the impact Drive For Diabetes Awareness aims to make. Our collaboration with the Kuehls isn’t just professional; it’s profoundly personal. Their mission has become a part of our mission, their cause a part of our storytelling. As filmmakers, we don't just see ourselves as service providers but as storytellers with a purpose, amplifying messages that can change lives and make a difference. Our Most Recent Project: Driven—Florida Driver to Alaskan Musher In the realm of storytelling, certain narratives transcend mere entertainment or information; they inspire, ignite passions, and leave an indelible mark on the audience. One such narrative was our recent project "Driven—Florida Driver to Alaskan Musher," a documentary that captures the compelling journey of Lacy Kuehl as she transitions from being a race car driver in Florida to a musher in the unforgiving terrains of Alaska. Our journey began after 38 days of Lacy's rigorous training for the Jr. Iditarod, a dog sled race that pushes the limits of endurance and determination. We weren't just there to document her physical feats but to delve deep into the emotional and psychological aspects of her journey. Lacy wasn't merely racing for sport; she was on a mission to spread awareness about Diabetes, in honor of her late brother Rocco and in memory of Mark Torkelson, a legendary Iron Dog winner who had passed away from complications related to Diabetes. Our documentary aimed to capture not just the beauty of the Alaskan wilderness but also the strength and resolve it takes to compete in such a challenging environment—all for a cause that resonates deeply with families affected by Diabetes across the globe. The film served as a window into Lacy's world, reflecting her grit, her challenges, and the poignant moments that made her story so incredibly inspiring. As storytellers, the project touched us on multiple levels. It wasn't just a creative endeavor but a deeply personal one, mirroring our own journey of overcoming medical challenges to pursue our passion. "Driven" became more than just a film; it became a testament to human resilience, the power of storytelling, and the impact one person can make in the lives of many. 137 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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Conclusion Our lives have been a tapestry woven from threads of challenge, resilience, and aspiration. From our early days grappling with Paroxysmal Non-Kinesigenic Dyskinesia (PNKD), to our transformative encounters with medical specialists, and onto our ventures in digital storytelling and advocacy, each phase has added a unique hue to our palette. While the struggles of living with a rare neurological disorder have undeniably shaped us, they haven't defined us. Instead, they have given us a distinct lens through which to see the world—a lens that values empathy, determination, and the transformative power of storytelling. As we reflect on our journey, we can't help but feel grateful for the constellation of people who have guided us—our parents, Dr. Kip Chillag, Dr. Jen Edwards, and the inspiring Kuehl family, to name a few. They have been instrumental in turning what could have been a story of limitations into a narrative of boundless possibilities. Today, as co-founders of Digital Bros Creative Studios, LLC, and as advocates for Drive For Diabetes Awareness, INC, we continue to channel our experiences into avenues that resonate with who we are and what we believe in. Our most recent project, "Driven—Florida Driver to Alaskan Musher," is more than just a film; it's a symbol of what can be achieved when passion meets purpose. As twins, we've always shared much more than just our DNA. We share a drive to overcome, a passion to create, and a mission to inspire. And as we look ahead, we are excited about the countless stories that are yet to be told, lives that are yet to be touched, and challenges that are yet to be overcome. In a life characterized by both struggles and triumphs, we choose to focus on the triumphs—and in doing so, we find our truest selves. ∎
Learn more about Digital Bros Creative Studios: www.digitalbrosstudios.com
138 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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The reality is that she’d never integrated her shadow and so she didn’t know. KATHERINE WINTER-SELLERY
FOUNDER OF THE CONSCIOUS PARENTING REVOLUTION 140 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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‘CONSCIOUS PARENTING’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY KATHERINE WINTER-SELLERY
SET YOUR CHILDREN FREE WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS
Trauma can hide dormant for years and then just the right circumstances can open Pandora’s box. Loss is often a trigger, and may bring all the other losses up to the surface again for resolution and integration all over again, or maybe for the first time. Because grief is messy and unresolved grief is particularly messy, it can feel like drowning and impossible to get your head above water and breathe. Someone in hospice pulled me aside and said, “You are your mother’s oxygen tank and she can’t pass until you leave, you need to leave so she can die”. I have heard other people talk about staying at the side of their loved one, leaving for ten minutes to get a coffee and while they are away their loved one passes. It’s almost as though they don’t want to disappoint you and make you sad by their passing so they soldier on even though they are ready to release their form. The truth was early in my life I was made to believe that my job was to take care of mom and be sure she was happy, and I took my job very seriously! I certainly wasn’t going to let her die! I took her all around the country from one healer to another, she was a good sport. When traditional pharmacological medications were too hard for her fragile system to take, I took her to Montana to an Indian Reservation to see a gifted practitioner. He had a degree in biochemistry from MIT, and post-doc from Stanford. He had his own healing crisis and in the end only with the intervention of a Chinese traditional medicine doctor using herbs and acupuncture was he healed, so he spent the next 6 years studying under him and merged East and West. I met him when I came back after two years in China with an infection that was resistant to antibiotics and after cycling from one to another I wasn’t any better. For me as well, herbs and acupuncture were the only thing that worked. With his very strong science background he brings both the western angle as well as the traditional eastern approach. He had mom lying on the floor and treating her with Mozart Concertos, he also believed she could endure the natural forms of the meds they had prescribed by breaking them down into their biochemical constituents and matching them with their counterparts in nature. We left equipped with everything we needed as well as the organic seaweed farms in Maine so she would be sure to eat it so that as she detoxed it would bind with the toxins and carry them out of her body. Otherwise detoxification in her fragile state could be too hard on her system. As a child I recall Gaga, my maternal grandmother, saying to my mom, “She’s the one sweetheart, she’s the one that will take care of you.” The spell was cast then. In fact, only after she died and I finally found a great therapist did I begin to make sense of any of it. I remember mom saying once, “Why won’t you just let me be sad?” Without ever acknowledging she’d set the entire thing up in the first place for me to be sure she was happy! It is a little crazy making. The truth is I don’t think she had any idea that she had set it up. The reality is that she’d never integrated her shadow and so she didn’t know. 141 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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But no more, the pattern stopped with me, and I set my kids free… The Conscious Parenting Revolution, which is my life’s work, is my attempt to be sure that all parents are integrating their shadows so their kids don’t have to, in fact, my motto is “set your children free.” What I mean by that, is to set them free to connect to their inner drummer. To know themselves. To live THEIR lives. As Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true,” but for kids growing up in environments overly focused on what other people feel and managing their reactions, they are robbed of this chance. If they are trained to be hyper focused on their parents' wellbeing, they may not have the slightest idea of what brings them joy, their favorite color, which ice cream flavor they love the most, or how to please themselves. It’s almost as though connecting to one's innermost yearnings is made out to be selfish, the message is abandon yourself and take care of me. As hard as it was to lose mom, this loss was the portal for my self discovery. Up until then I was so programmed to be her protector and defender, it wasn’t psychologically possible for me to see things clearly, to see her clearly. To let her be a human. At first I couldn’t touch anything in her house, I literally kept it like a museum for a few years. Somehow convinced her essence was tied up in every item and letting them go was akin to letting her go, something that took time, a lot of time. Our family never really processed the loss of my sister to melanoma and brother to suicide. These losses resurfaced wanting to be integrated too. With the death of the matriarch something got freed up, there was a space for shifts that didn’t exist before. It was tricky because none of the messages were ever explicitly stated, other than Gaga’s. Nuances filled our conversations, people weren’t transparent, boundaries were trampled over regularly. Praise meted out for everything that involved self sacrifice, separation and individuation forbidden. My own freedom, that up until then had been out of my grasp, was about to be accessible, albeit over the course of many years. My mother was my greatest teacher. She was a warrior in her own time and certainly had no idea of the harm she had done through the patterns that she was unconscious of, and I used to come home in the summers with my kids and bring my entire 90 Day Parenting Reset program that I wanted to share with her. She had no interest. I would say, “Mom, I think our communication could be better,” and she would say, “There is nothing wrong with my communication.” I realize it is transgenerational trauma, that she suffered too and before her Gaga, and before her and before her and so it went. But no more, the pattern stopped with me, and I set my kids free and I know that they will raise their kids to be free too. So Mama, God bless you, I love you, and peace be still. ∎
KATHERINE WINTER-SELLERY Founder of the Conscious Parenting Revolution www.awarenessties.us/katherine-winter-sellery For over 20 years, Katherine has taught and coached thousands of parents, educators, social workers, and medical professionals in half a dozen countries through her popular workshops and coaching programs. Katherine is a 3x TEDx Speaker, and Amazon best selling author of “7 Strategies to Keep Your Relationship With Your Kids from Hitting the Boiling Point” as well as her workbook A Guidance Approach to Parenting. She has been featured on local television shows across the US and a guest on over 40 podcasts. In addition, she is also a trained mediator, is certificated in different trauma models, teaches a breathing meditation modality with the Art of Living Foundation, ran her own commodities-trading business in Hong Kong for 30 years, and is on the Board of Directors for the International Association for Human Values (IAHV). IAHV has held special consultative status with the United Nations Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) since 2002, and contributes to the 17 Strategic Development Goals of the UN.
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I want to kiss you in cursive. JACK & ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
FOUNDERS OF AWARENOW MEDIA 144 AWARENOW / THE BOLD EDITION
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ORIGINAL POETRY BY JACK & ALLIÉ MCGUIRE
IN ALL WAYS I want to kiss you in cursive I want to feel every curve Accentuate every punctuation Capitalize where the words hide
I want to kiss with heartfelt handwriting I want to love you in perfect penmanship I want to set my intentions in ink Type my emotions in Times New Roman… bold
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Artists for Trauma and Art & Sound at Danny Wimmer Presents Bourbon & Beyond and Louder Than Life Art & Music Festivals 2023 Louisville, KY