debate issue 24, 2011 by Debate Magazine

issue 24 2011

breaking down the Big DAy out

the fall out over john galliano

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issue 24 2011

24 5 Editorial 6 Creative Corner 9 Letters 10 How To/Recipe

on the cover

Alicia Crocket dons her apron and tells you how to host a party to impress

Untitled Derek Chuan

11 News 12 AuSM Update 13 News Quiz 14 Sport

Matthew Neary explains why the Warriors will be title holders in the years to come

15 Sport

Scott Moyes looks at the phenomenon of New Zealand netball

16 A Look At Political Billboards 17 Dopey Don

editor

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

designer

Deanne Antao

sub-editor

Hazel Buckingham hashes out those comments Dr Don Brash made last week

18 Puzzles Page 20 Final Frontier

Alisha Lewis

contributors

Sebastian Mackay looks at our diminishing earth

21 Food: Why It’s Killing Us 22 Big Day Out: Breakdown 23 Celebrity Slashies

Alisha Lewis looks at celebrities that just aren’t content with one career

24 Columns 25 Agony Aunt 25 Spurious Generalities 26 Suggestions/Horoscopes 28 Fashion 29 What Are You Wearing 30 Reviews 33 Spot the Difference 34 An AuSM Week in Photos

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issue 24 2011

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randed mouth guards, ball switching and Dan Carters groin. It sounds like something from a bad C-grade porno. It’s not; it’s simply what our country seems to have come to as a result of all this Rugby World Cup madness. I switched on the news the other day to see that the main story involved young whippersnapper reporter Jack Tame standing outside some sports store brandishing a plastic mouth guard. A couple of players from the Samoan team had apparently worn branded mouth guards, which they weren’t allowed to do. Oh the scandal. Definitely headline worthy stuff. Forget the riots in China or the protests on Wall Street, these two sportsmen wore BRANDED MOUTH GUARDS. Then there was the whole England ball switching shebang which also ate up way too much of our media coverage. Of course, people soon came to their senses and realised that there are much more important stories waiting to be told. One story in particular actually. And it all revolved around one huge, groundbreaking incident of apparent national importance. Four words. One body part. Dan Carter’s groin injury. After seeing the dramatics and hearing all the tales of woe from devastated All Blacks fans I’m surprised a national state of emergency wasn’t declared in the wake of the horrific news and release of that now infamous photo of the star first five lying on the ground clutching his man parts. In an effort to escape it all I switched to a radio station, expecting nothing but music, light hearted banter and an absence of the word groin. Instead however, I tuned in when they were in the middle of an interview. With Dan Carter’s groin. Yes, his groin. As in a voice (which I’m assuming/praying wasn’t actually somebody’s groin) actually saying, “Hi, I’m Dan Carter’s groin” and proceeding to give an ‘exclusive’ interview to the radio station in question. I think by now we’ve passed the point of simply being carried away. We passed carried away days ago. Looks like our next stop is complete and utter insanity. Let’s keep the ruggers a sport rather than an entertainment form. And definitely not main news. We have a sports section for a reason. There have been a million other important things that could have made it onto our news. On September 22 for example, this is some of the major stuff that happened around the world. North Korea finally joined talks to end its nuclear programme. Troy Davis was executed in the US. An anti-government protester in Uganda was finally freed. On the front page of the Herald however, were the words “Zara Phillips arrives in Dunedin.” Seriously. We need to sort our shit out and put out some real news. As much as I love the rugby – and the Rugby World Cup – I love watching the games and the atmosphere, not fuelling unnecessary rumours and wasting time on complete non-events. Luckily, at debate we get that you sometimes need a break from Sonny Bill (sorry ladies) and talking groins and packs of sweaty, grunting men chasing after a funny shaped ball. Check out Scott Moyes’ article on netball (pg. 15) for something different, or Jason Wall’s piece on the famine in East Africa (pg. 21). Ranting aside though, it’s still a pretty epic moment in New Zealand’s history so soak it all up. Get amongst the atmosphere, check out the fan zone and enjoy the fact that the RWC provides us with basically the best excuse for procrastinating ever. Peace out ombres.

For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff & student executive and information on clubs visit:

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Corner The winning piece for Creative day for a will win one free hot drink each *! Piko from k wee only. The *Coffee, tea and hot chocolate k a day for drin hot free one have will er winn they day the from ting star , five week days redeem their first drink.

Ephemerea Fire At Midnight

issue 24 2011

Sweet dark angel Don’t deny the night You know it’s time to wake up To fight for me with all your might. My heart can’t take another blow Can’t take another cry It feels the pains of mirrors shattered Of a million broken shards It won’t endure, will tear away will live a half-lived life. Sweet dark angel Don’t deny the night You must embrace your fate And live until the light Create a better tomorrow Deep within your mind The truth is still more darker It’s better if it hides. Pretty dark angel Don’t deny the night Walk your final steps Approach the end Accept sweet sacrifice.

Pooja Chandnani Angel - like

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Soo Park Untitled

issue 24 2011

Letter of the week wins two movie tickets for Event Cinemas!

Letter of the week: I’m not the type of person to usually write to the editor or anything, but in this case I felt I had to! What a great job you guys did on the Creative Issue! All the articles were brilliant; please do more interview articles on students like that, I found them all really interesting & it was nice to get a little insight into other degrees and successful students’ lives at AUT. The exchange article was really good as well; I’d been thinking about doing an exchange so it was great to read a perspective from someone who is experiencing it. As always, Brendan’s article provided unbeatable comic relief, I’m really enjoying these Get To Know Your Fellow Student articles. And last but definitely not least, you need to keep on designer Deanne, the magazine layout looked so professional and it made it really fun to read, plus it makes me want to shove it proudly in the face of my friends’ from other universities and say HA! Anonymous Admirer P.S. Of course, I love the new size too! It looks super collectable now. Hi Samantha, Just a little email about this weeks debate issue. Issue 23. First of all I really love the size of it, its really cool and easy to read. The main point of my email is in regards to the “For Jamey” done by Alisha Lewis. I really loved it! I know its awful more than words can describe what happened to Jamey and Tyler, and it was really sad to read! Being gay myself I can really relate to it, so it did hit a cord with me, and was quite upsetting as have expereinced the bullying and name calling myself. I dont really know what Im trying to say here. This email isnt ment to be negative at all! I guess what Im trying to say is thank you for covering it. And please pass on to Alisha she did a great job with it! Hi Sam, Btw - I LOVE the creative issue. I like how compact the format and size is - and that embossed title on the cover is pretty fancy ;D

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Hope you’re having a great week! - Melissa Hi Debate, I was interested in this piece by Hazel Buckingham. I agree with her opposition to the death penalty, but I question whether the different treatment of Davis and Crowe is primarily due to race. If possible, I’d like a reference for the 2007 survey mentioned at the end of the first column on page 17. Thanks, Bryan Houliston Response from debate: Thanks for your letter Bryan. Hazel gathered her statistics from the Amnesty International website, www.amnestyusa. org/our-work/issues/death-penalty. Dear Akoranga Campus, We were parted for 12 weeks over holidays and placement but now we are reunited. Its so nice to see some things never change. Only 9 more weeks and we will be parted forever, oh how I will miss thee and the awesome facilites provided with my student fees. The toilets are still on the whole filthy and having the choice to run halfway across campus during a short break for free warm water or handing over my hard earned pennies to buy some is

22SGM poster2011.pdf

21/09/11

debate letters policy: Letters need to make it into debate’s mailbox before Wednesday, 3pm each week for the following issue. You must give us your name when submitting letters to be eligible for letter of the week, but you can use a pseudonym for publication if you wish. Any letters longer than 250 words may be subjected to editing. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. The editor reserves the right to decline without explanation. Most importantly, the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to debate@aut.ac.nz or if you want to kick it old school, PO Box 6116, Wellesley St, Auckland.

just wonderful. I felt like a princess to be in a DHB hospital were the toilets were sparkling, the water was filtered and chilled and the lunchroom was a place I could use the table without fear of catching something. Now however, I am back home and just another number, my pleas will fall on deaf ears yet again. Bridget Watson How I met your mother, 2 broke girls, community, Greys anatomy, big bang theory, new girl, family guy and hart of dixie are shows which make me stream online because new Zealand is slack. Samantha McQueen, your article needs to be distributed to tv networks - NOW! Emily

5:53 PM

CMY

12 NOON // To be held in WHAREKAI NGA WAI O HOROTIU MARAE (across the carpark from WC202) All AUT students welcome. Please bring student ID. AGENDA ITEMS INCLUDE: AuSM 2012 membership fee & budget // Constitutional changes // Confirmation of 2012 Executive Council members // Election of vacant 2012 Executive Council positions: Design & Creative Technologies Faculty Representative, International Affairs Officer, Maori Affairs Officer, Pasifika Affairs Officer.

be the hostess with the mostest

Smoked Fish Pie

by Alicia Crocket Now that uni is almost over, it’s time to start thinking about all that extra socialising you’re going to have time to do over the summer. If you’re having people over for dinner you can choose to make it a high stress event – or you can make it a low stress activity by putting a bit of planning into it. Planning also has the effect of reducing the cost because you can specifically plan a cheaper meal. There are two main ways to feed a crowd coming over for dinner: get everyone to bring a plate or supply a cheap and cheerful meal yourself. If you get everyone to bring a plate, make sure every person is bringing something different. Five desserts in theory may sound like a treat, but it won’t take long for that sweet tooth to ache. If you’ve decided to make the food yourself, try following a couple of golden rules to ensure the night is a success. First, always make food you have made before. If you’re adamant that you want to do something different, have a simple food backup in case it goes horribly wrong. Second rule is to prepare any aspect of the meal in advance. It’s much better to be busy the day before a dinner and have everything ready to go on the night. That way you can have a low stress day on the day of the party and not be tired and frazzled with a messy kitchen when your guests arrive. If you’re making meals in advance, keep it simple; casserole, lasagne, oven baked risotto. If the only thing you have to do on the day is shove something into the oven to heat then you’ve got the right idea. For side dishes, make something like a roast vege salad, pasta salad or green salad. These things can be made in advance and all you have to do is take them out of the fridge just before your guests arrive and pop them into a fancy looking serving dish. Nibbles can be chips, carrot sticks, celery and hummus, nuts – stick to opening packets if you can. Finally dessert. Chocolate cake and ice-cream is a crowd pleaser every time, and all you have to do is make a cake the day before (or shoot down to New World) – it couldn’t be simpler. If you want your summer dinner party to be a success, keep it simple and do as much as possible in advance, that way you’ll get to enjoy your night.

by Alicia Crocket Contains dairy and gluten Serves 5-6 | Cost per serve: $2.14

Fish pie is not something I cook often, but when I can get some cheap smoked fish it’s always the first on my list of meals. Smoked fish pie is surprisingly quick to make, particularly if you happen to have leftover mashed potatoes. This recipe can be made with canned smoked fish or tuna, or you can use a combination of canned and fresh smoked fish. It’s also easy to make for one person, just get a small can of smoked fish and make a half recipe for the sauce.

Ingredients

4 large potatoes (to make about 2 cups of mashed potatoes) 1 medium onion 2 cloves garlic OR 2 tsps minced garlic 50g butter 3 Tbsps flour 2 cups milk 1 tsp wholegrain mustard 500g smoked fish or tuna, flaked (fresh or canned) 2 hard boiled eggs, chopped (optional) Handful of frozen peas Sprinkling of cheese

Directions 1 Preheat oven to 190°C 2 Boil potatoes and mash with a little milk and butter 3 While the potatoes are cooking make the pie filling 4 Melt butter in a pan, add onion and garlic 5 Once onion and garlic have softened add flour and stir for a few

seconds until well mixed 6 Take the pan off the heat and slowly add the milk stirring constantly 7 Put sauce back onto heat and cook, stirring until it boils and thickens 8 Once mixture has thickened stir in the mustard, peas and fish 9 Put pie filling into a dish and top with mashed potato 10 Sprinkle with a little cheese and cook at 190°C for about 20 minutes or until the top has browned

10.

issue 24 2011

news

Lighting up just got a lot harder at AUT by Karina Abadia Imagine it’s a blustery winter’s day, the rain is torrential and an AUT student with only a 10 minute break during her tutorial is ducking out for a quick cigarette. But as of February 1 2012, there will be no more sheltering under the eaves of university buildings for smokers because AUT is introducing a smoking ban on all areas of the campus. First year creative technology student and smoker Chris Lee supports the new policy but thinks AUT needs to provide more ashtrays and shelter on the street to protect smokers from the elements. A senior AUT staff member and smoker, who declined to be named, says he is happy with the new smokefree policy because “it’s in line with what’s happening in universities elsewhere”. General bar manager of Vesbar Zane Chase agrees. “It’s the way the world is going so I guess we just roll with the punches.” Chase says it might initially bother smokers to have to walk off the premises and anticipates his bar may

experience a bit of a downturn in business, but he thinks people will soon get used to it. First year social sciences student and non-smoker Tori Rickard says she doesn’t mind whether AUT is smoke-free or not as long as smokers are considerate. “It doesn’t faze me, if someone wants to smoke, that’s fine. I don’t think it hurts anyone if they have to inhale a whiff of smoke. That’s what they’ll get if they go out on Queen Street anyway.” Rickard’s classmate Wazier Hassen is a smoker and supports the policy. But he would prefer if there was a designated and sheltered outside area where staff and students could smoke. Second year hospitality student Arthur Kamnev would prefer it if the university provided a smoking room or booth similar to the kind he has seen in international airports. He acknowledges that second-hand smoke is unhealthy but believes by making smokers go out on the street the university is “discriminating against us. It’s like we’re in high

school”. A staff member who did not want to be named says he does not agree with the idea of a smoking room or booth. “If you go smoke-free, you go smoke-free. You’ve got to draw a line in the sand and stick to it.” He adds that it may even help him and others quit and is aware AUT is providing further support for smokers. AUT vice chancellor Derek McCormack confirms that later this month AUT will start a smoke-free awareness campaign including posters, postcards and information on the AUT website. “AUT has partnered with the Quit Group to ensure we provide the best education and quit support to staff and students,” he says. Practice manager of Health Counselling and Wellbeing Stella McFarlane says the centre also has a number of means to help people kick the habit. “The nurses are able to write prescriptions for nicotine replacement therapy which has been

proven to give people a 50 per cent higher chance of giving up,” she says. Brief intervention therapy, which helps people change their behaviour in relation to smoking, will be available from the centre free of charge. All indoor and outdoor areas on each of the City, North Shore and Manukau campuses will be smokefree, says McCormack. Detailed maps of each campus, outlining the specific non-smoking areas will be available to view on the website. AUT has formed a steering committee with student and staff representatives to ensure the smoke- free policy is introduced smoothly, with plenty of notice and information, says the vice chancellor. AuSM student president Veronica Ng Lam says while the student association supports the smoke- free programme, it is continuing to have a dialogue with the university to try to make sure “smokers aren’t left cold out on the road”.

Chance connection sees AUT student’s work strut the catwalk by Jennifer van Beynen For AUT student Henry ChristianSlane, a chance connection with a top Kiwi designer and a whole lot of talent landed him in the middle of Australian Fashion Week earlier this year. Designer Kate Sylvester’s spring/ summer 2011/12 collection, Into the Light, was partly inspired by Christian-Slane’s digital moth prints, which Sylvester used on her fabrics. The pairing was a happy coincidence, as Christian-Slane had babysat for Sylvester in the past. His mother showed Sylvester his work, and she bought them for her collection. The young designer, who is in his final year of a Bachelor of Design, was flown to Sydney to help with the show which was staged in a horse sales ring, an equestrian marketplace where horses for sale are paraded. “She [Sylvester] didn’t have moths until she saw my idea, and then the whole ring was like around all these lights - she mixed the moths with speedway. Like how you have the big speedway lights and you can see the moths fluttering behind them at night, it was quite beautiful,” says Henry. For a digital print project last year, he had made large acrylic paintings which were scanned so they could be www.ausm.org.nz

worked on digitally. The patterns range from soft grey wing-shapes that look almost like falling rain and powder blues bleeding into splashes of dusty red, to intricate black-edged patterns. “I had this big book which had really high quality photos of these moths, on a really large scale, and beautiful, beautiful colours. I thought it was a good way to have a pattern based on organic designs, and I like the whole feel of moths as well. Moths are really dark at night, they’re drawn to the light. They’re like dark butterflies.” Although he has an interest in fashion design, Christian-Slane is also interested in concept design, or the process of creating new worlds and pitching them to movie directors or game makers – think Avatar. “A concept artist or designer will design the world in terms of colouring; what it looks like, the air pressure, ecology, creatures and how they fit to those environments. Whether it’s a wet world or a dry world and how the creatures react to that. It’s almost more about the design than what it looks like.” Simon Clark, principle lecturer in Graphic Design at AUT, says Christian-Slane’s strength is in his versatility.

“The thing about it is he can draw really well. He’s done a lot of life drawing, he’s learnt how to draw and paint. “His work has a strong emotional impact, it’s very emotionally charged.” Senior lecturer in textile design Angela Fraser, who took ChristianSlane’s course in second year during which he designed his moth patterns, says technology is having a huge impact on design. “Students have to be trend-aware about what is currently fashionable. They were graphic design students jumping into a new area, and Henry’s strength was illustration and his designs for garments.” She says AUT is the only university in New Zealand with a digital textile

printer, which functions like an ink printer but prints on to fabric. “The process has had an impact on design, and the technology is becoming more readily available.” Christian-Slane’s talents suit the changing world of design. “Technology at the moment has allowed for digital printing, which means you can get really complex patterns and complex tones, not just like one tone, two tone,” says Christian-Slane. “Today, especially, artists are being forced to have really wide portfolios as well. Most of the stuff I’m doing at the moment on my blog is digital. “That’s where the money is in illustration - designing for movies and gaming.”

11.

news

“lucky few” attend all rwc matches for free - legally by Christopher Chang The idea of attending the Rugby World Cup final is probably a distant dream for most students. The opportunity to attend every match at Eden Park, free of charge, would be impossible. However, that is the reality for hundreds of volunteers at Rugby World Cup 2011. Among them are a few lucky AUT students, who are enjoying the rugby action in return for hours of volunteer service. Third year communications student Taylor Mosen, 21, is working at Eden Park as a “flash quote reporter”. His role is to take down quotes from rugby stars and provide them to the tournament’s Rugby News Service. “The best part is that we’re going to get to go to the World Cup final for free and watch it from a corporate box. The worst part is going to games where you don’t care who wins or loses, like Samoa versus Fiji.”

Over 5500 people have been deployed around match-hosting cities as volunteers. They are not hard to spot. Dotted around Auckland in aqua-blue caps and matching stadium jackets, the volunteers are becoming an increasingly familiar sight, handing out pamphlets and providing directions to disoriented tourists. They are on the streets, at the airports, and shuttling people around in tournament cars. Rugby World Cup 2011 volunteer programme manager Brendon Ward has been blown away by the volunteers’ attitude and determination to make the tournament successful. “We’ve had fantastic feedback from not only the volunteers, but also from members of the public and the media. I’ve had emails from the likes of Keith Quinn with great feedback.” Communications student Rosie

Tuck, 23, says it has been an “incredible experience” being a volunteer. Working at North Habour Stadium has given her the chance to interact with the players and hone her reporting skills. “It’s just so neat to be involved in the Rugby World Cup. It’s pretty cool speaking to the players in the media mixed zone and asking your own questions.” With end-of-year assignments and exams creeping up on students, fitting a demanding volunteering schedule around university poses a challenge. Tuck admits she has had to adapt. “It’s been a little bit tricky – last weekend I didn’t get home until 2am. But they make it fun for you. It’s definitely been a worthwhile experience.” Rugby News Service supervisor Emily Groves says volunteers are an integral part of their team.

AuSM SGM today (October 10)

The AuSM Special General Meeting will be held on Monday, October 10 at 12pm in Wharekai Nga Wai O Horotiu Marae (across car park from WC202). Agenda items include AuSM 2012 membership fee and budget, constitutional changes, confirmation of 2012 executive council members and election of vacant positions. All AUT students welcome, pizza and refreshments will be provided.

VOTE!

The AuSM Awesome Awards are coming and it’s the last chance to get your vote in for the best AUT lecturers and support staff. We all know that it’s the great AUT lecturers and staff that make studying at AUT even better so make sure you vote to show your appreciation! Find the voting link at www.ausm.org.nz or follow the quick link: http://svy.mk/oR3495

12.

“It’s one thing to be excited about the tournament, but it’s another thing to turn that into productive work. The student volunteers have been thrown in the deep end and have shown real quality.” Volunteer programme manager Ward says there has been a “carnival” feel to the World Cup and the volunteers have been a big part of that. “They are the face of the tournament and the country. We wanted volunteers to be a bit cheeky and very friendly, but not over the top – they’ve just been so keen to help out.”

Oktoberfest

We’re celebrating Oktoberfest in Vesbar this week. AUT’s favourite Hypnotist, Guy Cater, is back at Vesbar on Wednesday, October 12 at 7pm. All welcome – it’ll be a night not to be missed. Then on Thursday night party into the early hours with NZ’s premier Stein band. For $15 you’ll get a Stein, free first refill and a German sausage. Prebook this week at Vesbar.

Candidate Forum

AuSM are inviting representatives from all the major parties along to AUT City campus quad on Wednesday October 19 at 12pm. This is your chance to ask each party about issues that are important to you and help you make an informed decision going into the elections. Check out the AuSM@AUT Facebook page where you can post questions that you want answered on the day.

issue 24 2011

2. What disease has Auckland had a recent outbreak of? a) Measles b) Chicken pox c) Influenza d) Malaria 3. What type of injury has ruled Dan Carter out of the Rugby World Cup? a) Hamstring b) Groin c) Shoulder d) Neck 4. Dr Sheldon Cooper is a character from which TV show? a) The Good Wife b) ER c) Big Bang Theory d) Grey’s Anatomy 5. Which airport was just named the best in Australasia at the World Travel Awards? a) Sydney International Airport b) Melbourne International Airport c) Auckland International Airport d) Wellington International Airport 6. What weekend is the International Sevens’ Tournament held in Wellington next year? a) 28-29 of January b) 3-4 February c) 5-6 February d) 11-12 February 7. How fast did tickets to the tournament sell out in? a) 30 seconds b) three minutes c) three hours d) three days

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8. Where in New Zealand would you find Tauranga Bay? a) Northland b) Nelson c) Gisborne d) Tauranga 9. Which film has Disney announced it will re-release in 3D on the big screen? a) Finding Nemo b) Monsters Inc c) The Little Mermaid d) All of the above 10. Which radio station has caused controversy by offering John Key an hour-long ‘Prime Minister’s Hour’ show in the lead up to the election? a) Radio Live b) Radio NZ National c) The Edge d) Newstalk ZB 11. Who is the main male character in Charlotte Bronte’s novel Jane Eyre? a) Fitzwilliam Darcy b) Edward Rochester c) Heathcliff d) John Wiloughby 12. Which New Zealander has been shortlisted for the world athlete of the year award? a) Richie McCaw b) Scott Dixon c)Danny Leet d) Valerie Adams 13. What is the capital of Brunei? a) Hanoi b) Abu Dhabi c) Kuwait d) Bandar Seri Begawan

14. Which popular animated television show looks set to be cancelled unless its voice actors take a major pay cut? a) The Simpsons b) Spongebob Square Pants c) Family Guy d) Futurama 15. Three scientists have just won the 2011 Physics Nobel Prize for doing what? a) splitting an atom b) inventing a time machine c) creating a new type of radioactivity that may be helpful in curing cancer d) discovering that the universe’s expansion is accelerating not decelerating 16. What unusual thing did a man do at one of the Rugby World Cup matches (England vs. Scotland)? a) Proposed to his girlfriend on camera b) Streaked across the field before the match c) Sang the Scottish national anthem into a megaphone d) Professed his love for Sonny Bill Williams 17. What is the name of Florence and the Machine’s upcoming album? a) Shake it Out b) Wear It Proud c) What The Water Feeds You d) Ceremonials 18. What colour are the cellophane flowers in the Beatles song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? a) Orange and blue b) Purple and pink c) Yellow and green d) Yellow and blue

Answers: C, A, B, C, D, B, B, A, D, A, B, D, D, A, D, A, D, C.

1.What was the name of the American woman who had her murder conviction overturned in an Italian court last week after insufficient DNA evidence? a) Jodie Marsh b) Casey Anthony c) Amanda Knox d) Meredith Kreacher

13.

sports by Matthew Neary

Before you label this prediction a spontaneous, excited statement brought on by the Warriors grand final appearance, consider this: I had no belief in the Warriors being serious title competitors this year. I believed that in the years to come they would be a dominating force in the NRL, but certainly not this year. They lacked the consistency, veteran experience and direction to make it to where they did and should have really been buried with the Dragons three weeks ago. But in four years the Warriors club will be 20 years old, and a fantastic culmination of factors now means that by the time this happens, they will certainly have a premiership under their belt. As I’m sure some of think, this could happen as early as next year. The Warriors have always had a problem with consistency, winning one week and losing by 20 points the next. But with Brian “Bluey” McClennan coming in as head coach next year, expect the Warriors to consistently win or at least come close, week in, week out. This man arguably rejuvenated the Kiwis league side after their 2005 TriNations upset against Australia, their first series win against Australia in over 50 years. He knows what it takes to win a professional level premiership, having done so back-toback with the Leeds Rhinos in the English Super League in his first year as coach. The Warriors will be serious title contenders next year under McClennan; he is fantastic at fostering team spirit and unity and forcing his players to strive for the best. He is a completely different coach to Cleary, not as wild as your Craig Bellemys or Des Haslers, but still an incredibly fanatical and vocal coach who will not be afraid to kick the Warriors into shape. And he’s a Kiwi. New Zealand League flows through McClennan’s veins and he should bring a simplicity and grassroots passion back into the Warriors. McClennan has some serious talent to work with and will no doubt bring out the best in them. For the first time, the Warriors are finally filling all the crucial spots of 1, 6, 7 and 9 with high quality players. Kevin Locke, by the time he peaks, will be a fullback star to rival Billy Slater, with many already making comparisons. Shaun Johnson barely needs to be explained, such is the hype surrounding him. He made and won the grand final last year with the 20s, and this year starred in the top grade’s big stage, a remarkable achievement. It was a pleasure to see Johnson interviewed by one of the greatest halves of all time in Wally Lewis on Sunday, a sight which highlights his miraculous rise to

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stardom. Shaun is league through and through, despite the ridiculous claims to him being a future All Black, and if he stays with the Warriors, they will win. I, for one, cannot wait to see him play in the Kiwis; the idea of him and Benji Marshall side by side is a mouth-watering prospect. I don’t immediately see Maloney as a premiership winning half, but under McClennan, the talk of a possible NSW jersey could come true. McClennan will exploit his brutish style of play and compliment Johnson with it. And then with Nathan Friend coming in next year, the Warriors have a specialist hooker who will play for the full 80 minutes. Friend is a solid defender and highly skilled ball player and will add significant structure to the side. The rest of the forward back goes without saying. There are no veterans, but they consistently show that they are among the best forwards in the game. Simon Mannering and Michael Luck operate like wind-up toys, Russell Packer and Ben Matulino provide the crucial go forward and Mateo offers much needed creativity in the pack. In the centres, Lewis Brown has always been a favourite, his running and ball skills consistently fool opposition defences, and Inu, despite the criticism, is one of the best backs in the game, especially in the air. With Manu’s ever menacing wing presence opposite the reliable Bill Tupou, the immediate run on side is extremely strong, not to mention depth in Glen Fisiiahi and Elijah Taylor. Adding to this the solid base of youth to draw to on in its development programme, a strategy proving its worth through the under 20s side winning their comp for the second consecutive year. The exposure the Warriors got in the midst of the RWC spotlight, in a period where the national side are World and Four Nations champions, will do wonders for the sport. In the grand final build up last week the Warriors 2002 grand final loss to the Roosters was referenced through Stacey Jones exclaiming “They say you have to lose one to win one”. Last week, it was nothing more than cheap marketing. Now, that insight could not be more true.

issue 24 2011

by Scott Moyes

When I was a little lad, most of my Saturday mornings would revolve around my sister’s netball game. Now these things are quite the occasion. It’s not just like a couple of girls gather at the backcourt in Papatoetoe to battle it out. These things go the whole nine-yards. They’re usually played on an array of courts where every mother and her daughter from here to Africa are gathered. Never have you seen so many women in one place (except at the Farmers Boxing Day sale). It gets pretty intense. It’s not like a big soccer field where you’ve got fathers telling their boys to toughen up when the ball gets kicked in his face. The thousand or so mums are there screeching on the sidelines in such a way that makes you wonder who wants to win the match more; them or their daughters? But netball always seemed like a pretty average sort of sport to me. I just assumed it was pretty much the only sport girls played because it was the only one men had no interest in. They can do it without being compared to how well men can do it. Let’s not be naïve here. People are generally interested in professional sport because they want to witness the peak of competitive, human physical ability. Women’s sport will never compete with men’s, because the latter will always be able to do it better, faster and stronger. It’s not sexist, just true. The only other sport I can think of where women are about as highly regarded as men is tennis, but even that is from the eyes of an optimist. You could make an argument for athletics, but really, netball is pretty much the only sport in the world dominated by women. So why do men stay clear? Is it because netball is less physically demanding than most sports? Wrong. Netball requires a phenomenal level of physical fitness. I played a social multi-sex tournament at school once and was quite astonished by how exhausted I was at the end of the game. I thought I’d just get in there, stand under the hoop at Goal Shoot, pluck off the goals and show everyone the game was a piece of piss. Not to be. You’re constantly moving in netball. Since the person with the ball has just three seconds to pass it and every player you can pass it to is marked by the opposition, you have to create opportunities by moving and stepping all the time. Then there’s the defensive aspect of the game. Just about every player is involved in every play of the game, waving your arms around and generally being a nuisance for about an hour straight. Does netball lack physicality and aggression? You only have to look at a typical test match between New Zealand and Australia to cross that one off the list. Honestly, the amount of times you see one of them knocked to the ground is incredible. I used to feel sorry for whoever was marking Vilmaina Davu. She was an absolute beast. Then I look at players such as Casey Williams, who epitomises Kiwi determination when she walks off the court looking

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like she has just competed in an Ironman. In the end, I think men are happy to enjoy netball without thinking they can do it better. I don’t believe men think netball is a pansy sport. In the ANZ Championship and especially during Trans-Tasman tests, there are no closer sporting contests. It’s compelling viewing. At this point in time, neither team is better than the other; it just seems to be a case of which team is one goal ahead at the end of extra-extra-super-duper time. We love our Silver Ferns, especially Irene van Dyk. For someone who made such a controversial entry to the country, I’m pretty sure she has become the most trusted women in the country (closely followed by Judy Bailey and Hilary Barry). I guess the only thing about netball is that since New Zealand and Australia keep going to new levels of athleticism, everyone else gets left behind in their slipstream. The Silver Ferns won their opening test against England by 22 goals on Monday. England is supposed to be the next best country at the game behind us and the Aussies. This separation in ability has probably been deepened over the past couple of years with the ANZ Championship, where our netball franchises are facing off against each other every second weekend. But no matter how lopsided these matches are, netball will always have a good grounding in New Zealand. Just look at the thousands that turn up to the international matches with their blow-up clappy-stick things. Look at the sea of women aged five to 55 who are playing at the Lloyd Elsemore courts on a Saturday morning. I’m going to be honest here. Netball is a hell of a lot more interesting than waiting for a scrum to set. P.S. Does anyone else find it ironic that the poster boy for Jockeys has a groin injury?

15.

by Jarred Williamson

BIG + BOLD + CATCHY + PRETTY (or not so pretty) PHOTO = VOTE WON? This is the basic formula of political party billboards you will see in New Zealand. Apart from all the Tongan flags around, you should notice more and more hoardings going up around the community. I find this time interesting to see what approach a party takes, as it is usually a general indication of the approach the party will take in the campaign. Surprisingly the drawn on moustaches, men’s genitalia and F’s, C’s or whatever have stayed away. My guess is that they’re all busy watching rugby. I’ve been told Jacinda Ardern’s already got a moustache and a penis on some of her billboards. Political campaigning has remained pretty standard in New Zealand. We have billboards and the often cheesy television ad, but that’s about it. Although last election saw a weak move to the likes of YouTube and online advertising; National took the lead over this, but since then other parties have joined the bandwagon. Many commentators have said billboards have lacked originality over the past elections. I’d have to agree more or less, so I’d like to take the time to look at what the billboards have been about in the past and what they are like at the moment. It has also struck me: DO election billboards entice you to vote for the party or candidate? Do they actually tell you anything? I want to look at Labour and National, as they are the only parties that already have billboards in many places, while other parties slowly put theirs up.

Labour:

Labour seems to have catchy slogans on its billboards – National: minus Phil Goff, you know Gone are the Iwi/Kiwi billboards under the leader of Labour. “No “the Don” of 2005, and it seems National Asset Sales” “Minimum has kept to its short and simple slogan Wage $15”, for example. They ‘building a brighter future’ that it adopted are just sound bites – they in 2008. It’s short and sharp, yet doesn’t have to be, because no one give away too much policy, although will read a billboard with it seems like National is aiming for “a paragraphs of information brighter future”. on it. These slogans just Nationals’ billboards have remained appear populist; of course fairly similar over the years, with usually it’s going to attract you. only the party leader and candidate The asset sales carry on is pictures changing just more scaremongering. depending on who is in the The downside to this is that Labour leave out role. The only noticeable aspects of their policies. “Taxing the f*** out change this year is there of you, Vote Labour” or “Spend and hope” just is now a gradient of light won’t cut it I don’t think. and dark blue in the Labour has a new minimalist style, like its background. But what does website, in an attempt to look cool and in this really tell us? Certainly touch with the youth. There is just a photo of National is not trying the candidate and saying vote, for example, to adopt some youthful “Shane Jones for Tāmaki Makaurau” (The image, so to some extent it could be seen Maori electorate for the Auckland area). It’s that National is being upfront, John Key is a bit weird, like dressing a 50-year-old guy on the billboard – so vote National, get the in skinny jeans and chucks and giving him party leader and National MPs. Certainly a an indie haircut. It just screams wrong. I different approach to Labour, who haven’t remember when interviewing David Cunliffe got their leader advertised. he mentioned “old white guys” under FPP I like National’s approach and at the same (First Past the Post), but take a look at the front time I don’t. You can’t deny people’s votes bench, pretty much old white guys – with some have an element of personality to them – exceptions. things don’t last if your leader is unpopular Labour appear more in touch with what’s or doesn’t have the charisma that decent going on this time round with their billboards. leaders should have. Clearly Key is one of Remember the 2008 campaign? “This one’s the attractive elements to National. What about trust” was the slogan. Then next door I would like out of their billboards is the to that was Helen’s airbrushed and edited policy so many voters agree with – tighter billboard. It was a hilarious example of government spending, welfare reforms, etc. juxtaposition and irony; let’s trust these guys. These kinds of statements don’t appear to It seems both Clark and Goff have had their be as populist and unfounded as Labour’s. images altered to appear more attractive (Helen’s smile) or younger (Goff’s hair).

It is probably early days for people to be interested enough in the elections. Billboards can get your attention for all the right reasons or all the wrong reasons; talking and discussing the likeability of the billboard or what you hated about it. You could be a part of the apathetic group who either doesn’t vote or ticks whatever box they like, in which case thank you for reading this far. But it can show how much people take out of your party’s billboard. Now, is this one about trust? Or is it about building a brighter future? I guess the voter decides. Vote for me?

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issue 24 2011

seems like a slightly high number. It was also stated that the police and courts use somewhere around $100 million of tax payers money a year to police this substance which many people believe to be less destructive than alcohol and tobacco. Now that argument is what makes me jump out of my right mind for approximately two seconds and start questioning if Brash maybe has a point. Surely the government could be spending our money on something that actually is having an effect instead of just throwing money away (proved by the 10 per cent of the population still using this ‘illegal’ drug)? But then, home truths are rammed by Hazel Buckingham into my head by the current National government who has a strong attitude towards keeping illegal drugs illegal and As it gets closer to election time and parties start announcing completely and openly disagrees with Brash’s comments. If we make a gateway drug legal, their policies, we - the voters of New Zealand – need to be then what is next? If we as a country are having putting them under a microscope. Usually there are subtle hints enough problems with our binge drinking culture, then what’s going to happen if we or changes that manage to sneak by us, and can only be seen if throw marijuana in the mix? And don’t even get me started on what would happen if we start policy is scrutinised. Luckily for us, with Don Brash in politics, agreeing with Don Brash… at least we will always understand the stupidity of the ACT No matter your view on the issue, you have to jump on the ‘Don Brash is an idiot’ bandwagon. party without even having to look twice. Just the way he went about this proves it. Now, I must stress that these marijuana comments were not announced as ACT policy, but just Brash’s personal opinions. But why put them in a policy speech announcing law and order? During a recent speech announcing the And why even open your mouth without ACT party policy on law and order, Dr Don consulting your party? Yup, that’s right, another Brash proclaimed that he wants to back the genius move on Brash’s behalf. He had not even decriminalisation of cannabis use. He said that discussed this with his caucus. The ACT party while he has never tried the drug himself, or will is a strong conservative party and this most ever want to, he believes that criminalising it definitely does not go hand in hand with their has done no benefit to the country. Not exactly ideology. You can imagine the surprised look the words from a ‘doped up hippy’ but, close on John Banks face when he found out about enough, as he went on to say that the use of the such comments. Banks is the ACT candidate class C clearly has no adverse affects to anyone. for the Epsom electorate, potentially one of Sudden retaliation from the public shows the most conservative electorates in Auckland differently, as health officials and concerned and the most important for getting ACT into citizens highlight the mental illnesses and Parliament. They only hold two per cent of the criminal activities in which the use of cannabis vote with Epsom’s support. Now, who knows? is an important factor. Now I’m not going But, I need hardly remind you who runs the to hash (pun!) out the rights and wrongs of show in politics. It’s not the politicians, the marijuana use inside and out, but lets just take a voters or the bureaucrats. It’s the media, and brief look at the positives and negatives. the PR of events and people. You have to hand Alright, so Brash isn’t the only political figure it to him; Brash sure did create a stir with his in New Zealand to call for such a stance on controversial comments. Perhaps he was hoping weed. The Greens party have been backing this for a replay of his Orewa speech, which saw policy for years. Not only that but even citizens National’s (the party he was leading at the time) seem happy to admit that the current policing place in the polls rise by almost 28 per cent? of cannabis just isn’t working. Taking statistics You can’t deny what Brash was aiming for here from the mighty Brash himself; more than was cheap publicity, and by the comments and 400,000 people in New Zealand use cannabis, criticism he’s received, he’s done just that. which equates to almost 10 per cent of our Either that, or he really is that silly to just open population. Now I don’t know about you, but his mouth and see what comes out. It’s Don for something that’s illegal due to harm, that Brash guys, anything is possible.

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17.

Jumble Answers: The Wizard of Oz Frankenstein J.D. Salinger

by Sebastian Mackay

Extreme energy and big risks are big business in the hunt for the earth’s final unlimited frontier of resources. The global hunt for oil is as great as ever. Currently, accessible fossil fuels burn their last fires and fuel the final petroleum tanks of the endless amounts of cars that traverse the roads. All the while ICP scientists and speculators engage in endless debates about the accuracy of science that shows the world is on its knees. The assumed importance of the need for the excavation of further earth destroying resources is ever growing.

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The temperature of the world is currently rising at four degrees Celsius and the painful truth is that our attempts to stop global warming, whether it be through emission trading schemes or lifestyle choices are, (and I hesitate to say this) for the most part, in vain. As fossil fuel runs low, the lands of Canada are scalped for tar sands oil, the non liquid oil resource that is solidified amongst the soil of the land. The access method; the destruction of trees and literal scalping of the land in order to obtain the oil solids beneath, a method that creates three times the amount of carbon emissions than standard oil refinery. Tar sands oil is set to be the largest oil import for America. New Zealand’s oil future looks just as bleak, with the plans for further mining and oil exploration – according to Bill English – going on behind closed doors. The government’s proposing that increased exploration will create low skill jobs that will rival the attractiveness of the 100,000 said to be created by Australia’s incoming resources boom. With the eventual emptying of the proposed fossil fuel wells,

The capitalist mode of destruction knows that in order to produce technologies that are able to harness these energies, money needs to be spent and considerable amounts of it. Therefore, as capitalism primarily creates products and services in order to make money, the easiest and cheapest ways of energy management and waste disposal are chosen over the money costing, environment saving methods. the attraction to extreme energy and need for jobs will grow all the more, drilling in the deepest parts of the ocean. A plan has already been given the go ahead by the Obama administration for 16 deepwater projects. This is following the April 20 BP oil rupture that saw unimaginable amounts of oil pour into the ocean for three months – the largest oil spill in the petroleum industry’s history. Largely untelevised and reported on are the continuing atrocities that the spill has created. Researchers of the University of South Florida have boarded the Weatherbird 2 in order to research the longer lasting effects of the spill. They have found brown liquid covering the

ocean floor, suffocating the life beneath it and graveyards of deceased coral, as well bizarre sicknesses within bacterial communities and phytoplankton. All evidence that the oil problem still exists and won’t disappear as it was once claimed to have done. Oil disasters and tar sand excavation are the plans of conglomerates under the impression that no matter the risk and no matter the disaster, the earth is a continuous resource that can neither be run dry nor destroyed entirely. It is the narrative of the money race and the only way for capitalism to survive is for it to continue to locate and develop new frontiers of seemingly inexhaustible resources. These sentiments are expressed across the world with the large corporation’s reluctance to shift to new and renewable energy sources. It seems as though, while we learn we need to exist on the earth’s surface, corporatism and globalisation have put their foot down on the accelerator and are screaming for money down a dead end street at 200 kilometres an hour. A large portion of this is due to the decades of capitalist ideology that have taught humanity is above nature and nature must bow to the needs of the dominant life form. To adjust such a mindset would mean we must concede that there are issues with the capitalist system. The alternative to stripping the land is to live off its energy, harnessing the power of the wind, the waves and the sun in order to fuel our life styles. This however suffers from the ‘financial viability’ meter; being less ‘cost effective’ than unsustainable and eco-destroying sources. The capitalist mode of destruction knows that in order to produce technologies that are able to harness these energies, money needs to be spent and considerable amounts of it. Therefore, as capitalism primarily creates products and services in order to make money, the easiest and cheapest ways of energy management and waste disposal are chosen over the money costing, environment saving methods. The perfect example of this (and a position in which I can applaud the efforts of former Prime Minister David Lange for his stand on nuclear free warships) is nuclear energy. The toxic waste creating energy producer, that thankfully hasn’t reached our shores, has no current viable waste disposal method. Waste is stored at individual reactor sites; there are 430 of these in the world. Currently, the disposal ceases there. The capitalist market is cut throat and each firm must perform better than its competition or it will fold. The cycle is vicious and the cutthroat style of the market is in part responsible for the lack of environmental concern expressed by competing companies, money that is earned by one company, is money lost by another. As fossil fuels quickly run out energy companies are scrambling to find the next cost effective and profit turning endeavour. A race that will soon strip the world of its final frontier and in the words of George Meyer: “our culture’s frenzied and mindless assault on the last shreds of nature may not be the wisest course... We’re melting the ice caps, ripping up the rain forest, and vacuuming the oceans of everything that wriggles.”

issue 24 2011

by Jason Walls

Poverty. One word, three syllables and seven letters. For a relatively small word, it is an extremely major problem. In today’s world, six million children die from malnutrition before their fifth birthday. More than 800 million people around the world go to bed hungry and one billion of our planet’s population still drink unsafe and unsanitary water. Around 1.2 billion people worldwide live below the poverty line – that’s less than $US1.25 per day. To put that in perspective, if New Zealand represented all the poverty in the world, each person would have to be cloned 238 times to measure up to the massive international level of poverty around the globe. As you may already know, there is a famine in east Africa right now. Not just a famine, the famine. According to Antonio Guterres, head of the UN refugee agency, the east African famine is “[the] worst humanitarian disaster in the world today”. Currently there are 12.4 million people in need of food in the famine affected east Africa region, while malnutrition levels are at 24-50 per cent. Again, these some pretty shocking numbers. But what is to blame here? I’ll tell you, it is the GFC. Now chances are, most of people reading this won’t know what the GFC is (or might have ironically misread it as KFC). No, the GFC stands for ‘Global Food Crisis’ (Also the Global Financial Crisis, but that is a story for another issue). The GFC is a massive issue facing the world today and a major contributor to the famine in east Africa.

countries ban the export of grain so the people of their countries can have enough. This in turn puts pressure on the word markets and ensures that the people that really need it go without.

Economy:

You don’t need to be a professor of economics to understand the concept of supply and demand; the less of something there is, the more you can charge for it. It is the reason that gold is more expensive than a copy of Justin Bieber’s album. Because there is such a lack of food – and since we need food to survive – demand couldn’t be higher. This means there are people in Wall Street profiting from the millions of people dying in east Africa, by selling food for as much as they can. Give me five minutes alone in a room with those fat investors…

Population:

Probably the easiest point to understand. The more people that there are in the world, the at risk of death because of food – or more specifically, the lack of it. However, this problem goes a lot more food there needs to be. Not enough food, deeper than just a lack of food. The reason why food is so scarce must be addressed if we are to find out too many people, the price of food skyrockets why this famine is on the tremendous scale that it is. There are five main things that have influenced the (again, supply and demand). The concept is easy enough to grasp; the GFC is in essence the idea that millions of people are sick or

GLF and have in turn lead to such a catastrophe.

Urbanisation:

Oil:

Seems to be the root of all evil in this world. It’s expensive, harmful to the environment – and you can add ‘contributor to the GFC’ onto that list as well. Because of the rising prices of oil, it costs more for petroleum-based fertilisers to fuel machinery and take it to its destination. This means it costs more to plant, to grow and to transport. This is in turn is hiking up the prices of food to an all-time high.

Climate:

You might be a little surprised that something like weather could be a cause, but it is actually quite a big deal. Because of flooding and droughts, the production of grain has taken a severe hit, especially in places like India and South East Asia. As a result of this, other

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As farming becomes more expensive, farmers in the third world are unable to maintain a good lifestyle, so they move to the city to look for work. Because they are leaving their farms, less people are producing food. You know where I’m going with this, right? The less food there is… you guessed it… the higher demand is. Although the famine in east Africa is not necessarily solely down to the Global Food Crisis, there is no denying it is a major factor. People are dying every day and it is going to continue. It seems the world’s governments are more concerned with capital than people. The sad truth behind the whole issue is that it is easier to raise support when a disaster has happened, rather than before to prevent it. To be cliché, the world chose to be the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff, rather than the fence at the top.

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Odd Future.

Tyler The Creator has come a long way. Although his lyrics are frightening, his music video gave me nightmares and he pretty much hates woman… I love it. I wanted to hate it, but I couldn’t. If you want to be entertained on Twitter, follow him. I’ve never actually watched any videos of him live before so I’m not sure where he will play at the festival but maybe the boiler room (but don’t quote me on that). Confession: Kanye West is probably my least favourite guy in the world. He acts like a total asshole and I’m sure if I met him in real life I would tell him to buck up his ideas. But, he is good at what he does. Good is probably an understatement but I don’t want him knowing that. His new album with Jay Z is gooood! Gotta Have It is my favourite track at the moment and if Jay Z got announced as well… I would probably die during that song.

Soundgarden.

by Rebecca Lee

can still remember my first Big Day Out now. I was 15, the sun was blazing and I was standing in the front of the main stage at 3pm waiting for the love of my life to come on stage. I may or may not have gone into a fan girl frenzy when I first spotted him. I may or may not have passed out due to a mixture of over excitement, heat and the lack of breathing. It may or may not have been the greatest day of my life at that point of time. And I get to do it ALL over again. This time I will have behind me the experience of four Big Day Outs, so I should be fine. However, as soon as my main man Mikey gets back on stage, who knows what will happen. Yes, I’m talking about My Chemical Romance. Don’t act like you don’t know all the lyrics to Welcome To The Black Parade. Enough about me. I want to start by saying, if you’re a music snob and don’t appreciate the diversity and talent of some of the artists that were announced then fuck you. Don’t come. Don’t bitch about it on Facebook or lament the demise of the festival –‘cause the rest of us are having a jolly ol’ time being amped for a friggin’ awesome mid-January blow out. And exhale. So who has been announced so far? Kanye West, Soundgarden, Foster The People, Kasabian, Cage The Elephant, Girl Talk, David Dallas, Odd Future, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Cut Off Your Hands, Mariachi El Bronx, Ghost Wave, Beastwars, MayaVanya, Roksopp, The Living End and My Chemical Romance. Who am I excited for? Everyone. My 15-year-old fan girl emerged when MCR was announced. I can’t wait to relive my first time in the sun. It makes me feel like a veteran and I’ll feel totally old in the crowd, which should be a fun time.

22.

When I read their name I was like, meh, don’t even know these characters. Then I listened to a song, and turns out we all know them. They’re an act that has been expected at every festival but never comes, so here you go Soundgarden lovers, this one’s for you. Foster The People will be a short set – don’t they only have that one song? I’m kidding, kind of. Then there is a bunch of bands that I had never heard of before, so I had a listen and… hello, good new music! This is why Big Day Out is great; you’re introduced to music you never would have known beforehand. And of course, there will always been that person that says, “oh, you’re not even a true fan, you’re just jumping on the bandwagon”, but you know what? I think most artists would be pretty pleased that more people are listening to their music now than they were six months ago. I’ll jump on whatever wagon I want, thank you very much. So in a nutshell: I am wetting myself in excitement for this Big Day Out.

issue 24 2011

by Alisha Lewis

elebrities: they’re beautiful, rich

an Academy Awards host and a total sex god. and talented. It can be a tough pill It sounds exhausting, yes, but it also to swallow when you’re not, well, any of sounds pretty amazing. Franco is at the top of his game at the moment – he’s so those things. in demand he can afford to do whatever he feels like doing. And what he feels like doing usually tends to be Oscarworthy, densely symbolic or fabulously meaningless. But what’s even more irritating is when Only a true ‘arteeste’ could accomplish as they transcend the boundaries that define much as he has in such a huge range them as an ‘actor’, ‘singer’, ‘producer’ or ‘model’ and begin to embody many – if not of areas. But he’s not the only one. There are all – of these roles at the same time. others out there, ambling around with It’s almost rude for people to be that the sole purpose of making us feel like perfect. Because deep down everyone really hates complete untalented failures. Jack Black’s comedy rock band Tenacious Brad and Angelina for being such bloody D is basically the whole reason he was do-gooders and wanting to save the world noticed in Hollywood, hired for films such all the time. It’s nice that they’re helping as School of Rock and catapulted onto the out and adopting African babies and rahdi-rah, but at the end of the day, people like international stage as a legitimate actor/ comedian. that just tend to make the rest of us feel In Hollywood’s superficial, plastic little pretty fucking inadequate. bubble which pays so much attention to the It’s a bit like seeing a smart person who’s beautiful, if you’re anything like Jack Black also really good looking. and well, not beautiful, it definitely pays to You secretly just want them to walk have a few hidden talents up your sleeve if into a wall or be hit by a falling piano you want to get noticed. or something else that will result in Then there are those with hidden talents permanent disfiguration. In saying all this though, not all celebrities that totally take you by surprise. Gruff and slightly intimidating, no one would expect who dabble in more than one medium are Oscar winner Jeff Bridges (True Grit) or successful. You only have to watch Jessica House’s Hugh Laurie to be secret crooners. Simpson in Blonde Ambition to figure that one out. But as life would have it, there are Yet both men have just released debut albums. Laurie, who has been playing in some super talented, super clever, really, a charity band, recently released a blues really ridiculously good looking people album while Bridges just released his debut walking around out there, generally being country music album in August. awesome at everything they do. It often seems a little self-indulgent. They’re the people who can act, direct, You have to question whether these produce, sing, dance, run a business, cook celebrities are truly talented and truly and pat their heads while rubbing their passionate or if they’re just bored and are stomachs all at the same time. It’s unreal. simply chasing yet another title. Every day It’s impossible. it seems some other actor wants to release Only it’s not. an album, or some singer wants to star on Lately, the poster boy for the multithe silver screen. talented has been James Franco. He’s There have definitely been many singers an Oscar-nominated actor, New York making the transition. Jennifer Lopez University professor (with a Masters from and Beyonce Knowles are two who have Columbia), a soap opera guest, a PhD starred as leading ladies in Hollywood student, a modern artist, a photographer,

www.ausm.org.nz

blockbusters. Although they were well received by audiences, critics remained doubtful that they could really be classified as serious actors. So do I. But these are women who can already belt out amazing voices and dance through a three hour concert in six inch heels – isn’t that talent enough? Another person who could stand to be told this is Justin Timberlake. The ‘prince of pop’ has taken a bit of a hiatus from his hugely successful career as a singer/ performer and has uttered those eight little words we hate to hear our favourite singers say: “I want to focus on my acting career.” Usually, this is because the words ‘acting career’ end up being a bit of a joke. So many have tried and fail – we’re still trying to erase the memory of Britney Spears in Crossroads from our minds. But it seems Justin might actually be another one of those Franco-esque, irritatingly perfect people. His foray into comedy and the small screen earned him an Emmy for his guest starring role on Saturday Night Live. Since then he’s starred in huge Hollywood flicks including Shrek the Third, Yogi Bear, The Social Network, Bad Teacher and, most recently, Friends with Benefits. While his performances may not exactly be Oscar worthy, he’s one of those people you can see growing with time – he was born to perform and he’s been doing it well. As we struggle to come to terms with our own inadequacy, we watch as their stars shine even brighter. They pretty much put an end to that old ‘no one’s perfect’ adage we’ve been told to live by our whole lives. Because some people are pretty perfect. They’re talented, they’re good looking and they’re ridiculously well off. But at least we can come to terms with the fact that these people really are good at what they do. At the end of the day, money doesn’t buy you talent. You just have to pop in a copy of Paris Hilton’s Stars are Blind to know that.

23.

columns by Melissa Low

by Danielle Whitburn

HOmegrown banana

Employment Enemies:

World in union

’ll admit it; a couple of weeks before the Rugby World Cup had even started, I already felt I was over the whole deal. At the time, the news was always filled with “preparation this”, “waterfront that”, “transport so-and-so” or “Jersey price whatever”. It had become so tiring to listen to, that “Captain Buzz Kill” in me wanted to ignore the World Cup and all its associations for the seven week length. But like most people, I got sucked into the all the activity. By the time the second All Blacks game came around, I found myself following rugby scores, knowing match timetables, criticising Sonny Bill Williams whenever I could and using rugby terminologies I didn’t realise I knew. Even my assignments were put on pause so I can dedicate 90 minutes of my life to watching people cheer for bulky men throwing themselves on top of a ball. I know my interest in rugby union will be fleeting, but I’m glad for the disruption the Rugby World Cup has put on our lives. Today, you can’t seem to go down a single street without seeing at least an All Blacks flag or two. Town centres are decorated with signs supporting their adopted second teams. Cars can drive by with as many as four flags attached to their windows. Or if you’re a Tongan who owns a van, the whole exterior is covered in red and white flags, and so is your house, your fence, your face…and probably your cat. And though we joke about how full on and overdone some supporters seem to be, it is inspiring to see people being openly enthusiastic and supportive of their home roots, whether it’s New Zealand or not. Because let’s face it; Auckland, as ‘large’ (large meaning within New Zealand) as it appears to be at times, is not a very exciting city. Our holidays are few, our festivals are small and we’re prone to click attending to events on Facebook that we don’t intend to go to. So whenever do we get to see so much country pride and celebrations at one time? Well, barely ever. What needs to be remembered is that this event will not last for a long time. Those people who complain that we’re performing too many haka flash mobs – well what’s the chance you’ll see them again after the World Cup? Or those who whinge and say we were being racist and unfair by supporting any team that plays against Australia – well when do those minor teams ever get the chance of attention, let alone have the chance to encounter it? And to those still going on about the transport issues on Opening Night – get over it please, because there is all this other positive activity going on that you should focus on. We’re finally in the centre of all the action, seeing other cultures come to us, seeing different cultures being showcased in our own backyard, and at the same time everyone is getting a worldly experience within one event. You can try to avoid it, but as a New Zealander, we’re still involved in this memorable part of history. So you know what Rugby World Cup? I’ll forgive your overpriced food costs. I’ll excuse the excess traffic around the stadiums. I’ll let go of my issues with you changing my bus on Friday afternoons. And I’ll ignore you hiring back Wayne Barnes. Because what you and the odd-shaped ball brought to New Zealand is an excuse to celebrate who we are. And hopefully, to show the world we’re not actually an Australian state.

24.

The Other Face of Finding Work

t seems at this time of year there is a race. Not a triathlon, or an Easter egg hunt, or a race to make the most of somebody’s 21st bar tab. It’s a race to find employment. It is, after all, New Zealand. It is, after all, a recession. We are, after all, fully qualified and saddled with a student debt big enough to make Chuck Norris cry. We are the human resources hunters, ready to sell our souls and break acquaintance ties for the next deserved dollar. The first thing that you notice is the battle attire. Lint-free, tailored power suits that fit the figure perfectly on a round of coffees or mass presentations. Nails are buffed, shoes are polished – the male contenders you hardly recognise out of their customary crumpled cloth. The eyes of the job-seeker dart nervously or lethargically, respectively the eyes of the hopeful or of the defeated. Once in a while a relaxed face is spotted, reminding the rest to keep their cool. Coffee and V cans are dropped in their trail like Gretel’s breadcrumbs; a trail generations of students will follow to conquer their careers. An organised mess in fancy dress, they all prance to the path where the interview room awaits. The nature of the beast is most explicitly shown in the collective training room. Clever comments cascade over each other in a bid to engage employers. Students strategically sidle over to networkers, making themselves and their CV stand out. The slices and coffee become an excuse to talk, or not to talk. It is like school lunchtimes on steroids, each pupil promoting a lunchbox of their relevant experience to make the others’ pupils widen. It’s all about who’s got the shiniest, the newest, the most branded and different box, toted around as a product that one day they might sell. It is all a rather hoity-toity, yet hideous, affair. One consoles themselves with the fact that at least we’re not in America at this point in time (imagine the vicious employment vultures that compete there?!). The mind becomes a mass CV: organised as to what you can do and how it can fit it on a piece of paper. Yet it’s what we’ve always wanted. A Cue wardrobe and slick hair-do. A sense of purpose and importance because you’re one of those ‘business’ people. Money. A knowledge that you’ve worked hard enough to do a job that you actually love. Interviews are like dates: lots of priming and preening, and then a decision of whether to hire or fire. Whoever said love was easy? At least it comes in a tailored suit.

issue 24 2011

This Agony Aunt column is brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counselling and Wellbeing office.

Dear Agony Aunt

I have been a smoker for five years and have tried to give up countless times. I am really worried about next semester when AUT goes smokefree. What I am going to do? I won’t have time to keep going off campus in between lectures for a smoke. Even worse what I am going to do at exam time? I almost eat cigarettes then! As if exams aren’t bad enough now I can’t even calm my nerves with a smoke. From worried smoker

Dear worried smoker

I hear what you are saying and I understand your anxiety. What is important is that you get support through what could be a difficult time. AUT does not become smoke-free until February 2012 so you have a bit of time to think about how you are going to deal with this change. Here are a few ideas:

You could do nothing and keep running off campus for a smoke but I would not recommend this option. What a pain! Mainly because your thoughts will be consumed with when, where, and if you are going to have time for your next cigarette (I know, I used to be a smoker). Have you considered trying to quit again? There is lots of help available to you. You can get online support through groups like Quitline, or if you prefer talking face to face then you could book to see a nurse at AUT Health and Counselling. It’s okay if you haven’t completely made up your mind; maybe talking to someone will help you decide on a plan of action. Both of these options are free, so you have nothing to lose. If you aren’t ready to quit completely, you could try using nicotine patches or gum to help you through the times when you can’t smoke. This is called nicotine replacement therapy (NRT). It helps to stop the onset of nicotine withdrawal symptoms (which are very unpleasant and cause many people to return to smoking) by releasing small amounts of nicotine into your bloodstream. Patches and gum will be heaps cheaper than cigarettes and will cost $3 per item for an eight week supply. Another place you will find support on campus is with the smoke-free champions and student ambassadors. They can help with your questions about the smoke-free policy and they are trained to offer support and advice to people who have chosen to quit. You will find more information about the champions and the smoke-free policy on the AUT website (www.aut.ac.nz) soon. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. And remember, there is lots of help and support available - you just need to take the first step. Support and information Quitline: www.quitline.org.nz or 0800 778 778 AUT Health, Counselling and Wellbeing City campus: (09) 921 9998 North Shore campus: (09) 921 9992

“Everything is Important”

by Vinny Francesco

www.ausm.org.nz

It was Camus who said there is only one truly important question in life and that is whether or not to commit suicide. I remember another more contemporary philosopher said that one of the important questions in life is “who’s going to clean up?” (which is strangely relevant to so many situations). We all have our own values, our own sense of what is important. Let’s explore the idea of importance a bit more. There are some who say everything is important. They say something like “well, the air and the atmosphere might not be that important, and probably the President of America is more important than the air. However, the President of America depends on the air to live and for that reason it is important”. Because everything is interdependent, everything is important. While this view considers everything of some importance, it does not consider everything of equal importance. And how about those guys who don’t think anything is important? Nihlism is commonly thought of as an attitude of meaninglessness; that existence is fundamentally meaningless. Nihlism does not state that the world is dim and bleak. Fundamentally, nihlism states that nothing is truly important. Of course we are capable of giving things importance. Nihlism says that yes this is possible, though an illusion. It’s worth noting that nihlism considers everything of equal importance. In its own strange way, by saying nothing is of importance, everything is given an equal level of importance!

By far the most common view of importance is that only some things are important, whilst other things are not at all important. This is selective importance, the sort of middle man between the two previous views. It’s easy to see why this view is so predominant, as human beings are fundamentally selective by nature. I think a good lens to look at this model of selective importance is through culture. It’s fair enough to say that western/anglo-centric cultures value wealth. Korean culture sees laziness as sinful, and holds duty as the most important virtue. Japanese people are obsessed with being polite, to the extent they don’t have the word “no”. Some cultures, such as Arabic cultures, are emphatic about honour, sometimes to the extent that life is taken in the name of honour. The ancient Egyptians were all about physical resurrection, which is why pharaohs mummified themselves in their worldly paraphernalia. In my own personal culture, I hold humour and comedy as the greatest quality. An attitude of seriousness results in suffering and negativity. Conversely, everyone loves a joker. Comedy is the best kind of intellect because sends out positive vibes and makes us feel good through laughter. So I feel (sincere) laughter is the most important thing in life, it can do nothing but good. If a picture can say a thousand words, then laughter can say 10,000 things. As usual it is best to end with a quote, so here goes: “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important” -Bertrand Russel.

25.

VOLUME 24 ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Now Watching

Charlie’s Angels

It seems TVNZ actually listened to all our complaints about we are shown new seasons of our favourite television series months – and sometimes whole seasons – after they have already aired in the states. However the new hit show Charlie’s Angels, which premiered two weeks ago, is airing here a mere five days after America. For the first time we’re actually up to date with a popular, scripted television show. No more dealing with annoying ‘spoilers’ months before we’ve seen a big episode.

Now Cringing Rove LA

A recent television reviewer said that Rove LA should be renamed Rove LAme, and I have to say I kind of agree. We’ve all been waiting for Rove McManus’s big return to television – especially on a big budget, American scale. Unfortunately the off-beat, ‘down under’ humour doesn’t translate well in a glitzy, US studio. It seems like a bit of a half-assed attempt and sadly it looks like Rove’s sold out – he wears a suit now AND matching socks! His hair is perfectly coiffed and his skin has a definite tinge of Snooki orange. He’s gone Hollywood. It’s definitely not the Rove we know and love – bring him back!

Now Laughing

Mocktober Raw Comedy

For the whole month of ‘Mocktober’ (October), The Classic, New Zealand’s home of live comedy, is going to be putting together stellar showcases at a total steal. Mondays will be particularly exciting as they’re going to hold a ‘RAW’ show, highlighting up to 10 rookie comedians in two hour shows each week. It’s perfect for a little bit of stress relief when you’re buried under mountains of uni work, and the best part is that they’re doing a great deal for students: get two student tickets for only $5. That’s only $2.50 each! This means you can get a couple of hours of entertainment PLUS a drink or two for the same price as a standard movie ticket. Get amongst it!

Now Planning

That Summer Escape

When life is looking dismal and freedom seems a million miles away, we need a little motivation to help get us through the next gruelling month of assignments and exams. Nothing beats a Kiwi summer and no matter what your budget, escaping the city for a while is within everyone’s reach. You could rent a bach with mates, do a roadie through the North Island, nab some cheap flights on grabaseat or simply pitch a tent somewhere chill. Just having that window of escape will definitely give you something to work towards (holiday planning is also awesome for procrastinating too).

You will attempt to download music for the first time since it became illegal. Don’t do it. Your mug shot will be all over the internet within hours.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

You will cross over to the dark side this week. Don’t worry, we heard they have cookies.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)

You have been a bit down in the dumps lately. Get yourself a puppy to cheer yourself up. If you can’t afford that, head to your nearest park and steal one.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

Due to your complete lack of potential, the stars suggest you consider a career as a professional mugger, hit man or children’s party clown.

LEO (July 23-August 22)

The new Facebook format will send you into a rage this week. You will be banned from the library. Thanks Zuckerberg.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22) Always blow on the pie.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

There is a 97 per cent chance you will read somewhere that 84 per cent of statistics are made up.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 21)

The stars think your new puppy is finally ready to be let off its leash in the park.

SAGITTARIUS (November22-Dec21)

You’re pretty strapped for cash at the moment. Round up your most slutty friends and make a bad C-grade porno.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)

You’re going to be struck with a case of severe vanity this week. In between classes you will be found, posing on Queen Street, waiting to be ‘discovered’.

AQUARIUS (January 20-Febuary 18)

You’ve been wondering why no one ever sits beside you on the bus. The stars recommend Rexona as a speedy solution to this problem.

PISCES (Febuary 19-March 20)

The stress of university will turn you into an emotional eater this week. You will find the need to profess your love for whatever you eat before you take a bite.

If you think you’re on the pulse with what’s happening in Auckland, email debate@aut.ac.nz with your own Suggestions.

26.

issue 24 2011

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www.ausm.org.nz

27.

by Andrea Manahan

In today’s world, where kaleidoscopes of values are constantly turning, it is often difficult to determine those who deserve our sympathy and understanding between those who do not. The recent tumultuous events at the prestigious couture house of Christian Dior have derived a lot of sympathy for the respected house, as a torrent of anti-Semitic scandal rocked the house so violently, and led them to fire their creative director of 15 years, John Galliano. The renegade designer was charged on two counts of public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race and ethnicity, when he slurred comments such as “I love Hitler…People like you would be dead, your mothers, your forefathers would all be fucking gassed”. This incident happened only days before Paris Fashion Week for Autumn/Winter 2011/2012 and for the first time in 15 years, Galliano was not present to take his historically flamboyant bow at the end of the show.

Oriental inspiration at Christian Dior’s Spring/ Summer 2007 Haute Couture collection.

Cross-cultural referencing: John Galliano’s Masai tribe inspired collection for Christian Dior Autumn/Winter 1997 Haute Couture.

Mongolian aesthetics at John Galliano’s 2002 Autumn/Winter Ready-toWear collection.

best designers such as Alexander McQueen, Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy, Stella McCartney and Phoebe Philo, to name a few. Galliano has always had a ‘work hard, play hard’ mentality and took his enjoyment of night life to extremes, frequenting clubs, dabbling in drugs and alcohol, while still excelling in his creative studies. Such the imaginative genius, that his collection for his final year was bought up in its entirety by Browns, a London fashion boutique. Few have emphasised the designer’s contribution to the house for the last 15 years. According to ‘The Galliano Dossier’ article in Instead, the background workers Newsweek, issue 26, 2011, Christian of the famous atelier finally came Dior’s revenues doubled to US$312 out of the shadows and took centre million in just four years after stage. At the beginning of the show, Galliano was introduced to the CEO of Christian Dior Sidney house in 1997. Galliano brought a Toledano praised the seamstresses, breath of fresh air to the house by the fitters, the artisans: “What you mixing classic couture traditions are going to see now is the result with imaginative and risqué designs, of the extraordinary, creative, which attracted a wider and younger and marvelous efforts of these market. His collections took you loyal, hardworking people.” Here, through a cross-cultural journey Toledano brings to the surface of fantasy, mish-mashing oriental the importance of craftsmanship, aesthetics with European histories; often forgotten in the dazzling he has referenced African detailing world of diva designers. However, and Mongolian traditional dress; this is an obvious sidestep to cover highlighted gypsy cultures and Galliano’s episodes at La Perle bar. even the homeless on our streets. Should one truly have wanted to Does this sound like a man who has congratulate the formidable skill of inherent racist leanings and antithe atelier’s background workers, Semitic sentiments? Or a man under an haute-couture collection would crippling creative and corporate indisputably have been a more stress, to design for both his own appropriate event to showcase their label, John Galliano, as well as talent and not a ready-to-wear France’s most prestigious label? collection. Instead, the emphasis on However, I am in no position the “loyal” and “unsung heroes of to understand the gravity of such the backroom” was used to paint the slandering remarks on Jewish people house of Dior as the unsuspecting by a public figure like Galliano. I am victims of Galliano’s racist rants, not Jewish. Those on Team Galliano further vilifying the designer protest that such comments were without explaining his troubled made under the heavy influence case. of alcohol, valium and sleeping It is unfortunate that the wild and pills, and surely that such a heavyformidable talent of Galliano has handed approach by Dior was been overshadowed by this scandal. unnecessary. How would we feel Admittedly, the enfant terrible if every word which slurred out of of the fashion world has never our drunken mouths was turned had a blemish-free background. into fodder for a media-feeding He studied at London’s Central frenzy? However, the anti-hate laws St Martins; a school responsible in France, under which Galliano for churning out the industry’s was convicted, were put in place

Sources: www.style.com www.soothbrush.com & www.buzfairy.com

28.

issue 24 2011

Oriental inspiration at Christian Dior’s Spring/ Summer 2007 Haute Couture collection.

Elements of Spanish Flamenco dancers and gypsy culture in Christian Dior’s Autumn/Winter 2003 Haute Couture collection.

for a reason. The terrible histories of the Holocaust lie deep within the hearts of Europeans, and for some, are as fresh as yesterday’s memories. These laws protect against radical racist groups legally being formed like the Ku Klux Klan, which is rampant in the United States of America, but is protected under their First Amendment which safeguards the freedom of speech, including hate speech, of every American citizen. A Jewish friend of mine, when queried on his opinion on the Galliano debacle explained that, “When an opinion so readily comes out such when your guard is down, and you are loose with alcohol, it is logical to conclude that these are the views which lie within”. John Galliano was sentenced in early September a suspended fine of €6,000 (NZ$10,500), which does not have to be paid unless he reoffends in the next five years. European Jewish Congress President Dr. Moshe Kantor, on www.ynetnews.com, expressed his disappointment to the light penalty imposed on the designer; “It is outrageous that someone who told others that they ‘ought to be

dead’ and expressed support for the Holocaust gets away with less than a slap on the wrist... [t]his sentence demonstrates that there appears to be a culture of impunity in the entertainment world.” However, Christian Fraser from the BBC says that the greatest punishment has already been served to the designer – his reputation and his career now in tatters. I choose not to linger over the intricacies of Galliano’s pro or anti-Semitic stance. Instead, I want to call into question the lead-up to the designer’s mental decline. It is a culmination of stressful events which led to this embarrassing event in Paris in which the media has been ineffective at bringing to the attention of the public. In 2007, Steven Robinson, head of the Christian Dior studio was found dead at the age of 38. In ‘Steven Robinson, Galliano Associate, 38,’ an obituary written by Miles Socha in 2007, Galliano is said to have described Robinson his “dearest friend and not someone that was meant to ever leave [him]”. It is said the designer grew more erratic after Robinson’s. In the wake of the tragic death of

sharon Degree: Tourism (first year) Dress: Shanton | Headband: Vintage scarf | Jacket: Op shop (Salvation Army) | Bag: Country Road What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? Flared jeans

Alexander McQueen, found hanged in his apartment in February 2010, perhaps it is time that the media pay attention to more pressing issues at hand instead of attentiongrabbing headlines. There is a responsibility within the fashion community to prevent another untimely death like McQueen’s, especially when a designer’s decline is so evident. People do not implode in a vacuum and though I do not condone the actions of Galliano, it is unfortunate that house of Dior lacked empathy and understanding to the underlying mental health issues of a talent such as John Galliano, who they are finding very difficult to replace. The few contenders for the position have all fallen through – Marc Jacobs was rumoured to be the next creative director, but it is said he will remain at Louis Vuitton. Ricardo Tisci is quite happy at Givenchy and Haider Ackerman was deemed “too edgy” for the label. For now, the fashion world waits with bated breath as the Dior and Galliano saga unfolds, though my bets are with Galliano – everyone loves a comeback story.

Katrin gleichauf Degree: Bachelor of Business T-Shirt: Zara | Jacket: Zara | Jeans: G-Star | Shoes: Adidas | Bag: Bree What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? The 80’s

29.

Abduction

Directed by John Singleton Film Review by David Bellinger

(C)

Taylor Lautner. Werewolves. Vampires. Twilight. You get the connection? I mentioned it right from the get go so I don’t have to bring them up again. I figure any film billing itself as a big budget action blockbuster these days should be able to stand on its own merits. Though perhaps in this case, rather than standing it has sunk under the weight of its own cheese. Lots of cheese. By way of a brief synopsis, our hero Nathan (Taylor Lautner) and friend/crush Karen (Lily Collins, The Blind Side) discover a website that indicates Nathan may be an abducted child. Cue big conspiracy. Cue CIA operatives that track cell phones and European hit squads with lots of equipment that they somehow get past US Customs. Cue the rough faced Serbian bad guy, international conspiracies and loads of teenage angst. Suddenly our hero and his girl are on the run and everyone is gunning for them, literally. Mayhem ensues across suburban USA as people die trying to protect Nathan (though strangely none of it makes CNN). It’s an action film, so why the hell is the audience laughing? The problem is the film’s cheesy, so cheesy that it was just, well, funny. Cheesy bicep posing and wolf like glares (sorry, couldn’t help myself) from our hero to impress the girl and out staunch her boyfriend, that’s funny. More cheesy clichéd lovelorn exchanges between boy and girl and enough awkward cheesy dialogue to fill up several episodes of 90210. Even a serious looking CIA dude holding a pump action shotgun outside a city diner managed to look cheesy. Hilarious! With director John Singleton (Boyz n The Hood, 2 Fast 2 Furious) at the helm you would expect a pretty gritty and exciting outing. The action sequences are definitely all there. We get a house exploding with pieces raining down all over the place and a big shootout at the neighbourhood diner with cool silenced weapons and even a bunch of chase sequences in a baseball stadium during a game. But

30.

the pace was uneven, erratic at times. The gaps between these action scenes filled with poor scripting, bad dialogue, trite setups and implausible convenient coincidences or characters. It shouldn’t have been this way, not with the star power that John Singleton had to work with. Anything involving Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Avatar) should be cool in my book and Swedish actor Michael Nyqvist (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) plays the bad Serb with some gusto. He even got what I think was the best line in the film, “by morning, every single person on your Facebook friends list will be dead”. I did like Taylor Lautner’s performance at times. He’s got action moves to burn and that big bright Hollywood toothy smile that can carry a scene (think Tom Cruise, but not in that league yet). But more often he seemed lost in the role, unable to convey believable emotions. For instance, sorrow or anguish at finding out the truth about his parents just came across as wooden and unreal. Equally, Lily Collins had moments where she seemed to be just there to fill the screen as a piece of pretty eye candy rather than showing any real depth as an actress. The saving grace is both stars are young in their careers so should have ample opportunity to improve on this outing. Though I hope it’s not by way of a possible sequel.

Jane Eyre

Directed by Cary Fukunaga Film Review by Alisha Lewis

(A-)

If you’re like me and read the novel first, watching the film adaptation of Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre was pretty much like stepping through the pages of the book. Each scene was exactly how I’d imagined it, as were the characters. The plot is structured in flashback form. Starting somewhere just after the middle of the story, it flashed forward to Jane’s time at Thornfield Hall and back to her miserable childhood as an orphan. Strangely enough,

with all this flashing back and forwards, the structure actually seems to make sense. The flow is so seamless it almost makes it seem as though this is the way the book was written and it would have seemed a little tedious to start at the very beginning, progressing from childhood to the end. Relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska put forward a brilliant performance portraying the mousy governess Jane Eyre. I was worried that they might go Hollywood with the casting and choose a pretty girl rather than a pretty average girl. Although Wasikowska was all kinds of ordinary in terms of looks, she still controlled each scene she was in with a fierce but quiet kind of intensity. Michael Fassbender who plays hero to Jane’s unassuming heroine, brings a different kind of intensity to his performance as Edward Rochester – it’s steady and observant, yet constantly seems on the verge of some big outburst. He does the whole troubled, brooding thing well. Even the supporting cast bring the more minor characters to life with a real sense of authenticity and humanity. Judi Dench provides Jane with a kind of maternal support system as Thornfield Hall’s housekeeper, Mrs Fairfax. Simon McBurney as Jane’s spiteful schoolmaster, and Sally Hawkins as the cold, ruthless Aunty both make perfect, reliably hateful villains. A surprise standout was Jamie Bell, who acts as Jane’s protector and ‘brother’ figure, St John Rivers. There’s a sweetness to him and he’s such a contrast to the stony Rochester, that for a while you can’t help but root for him to get the girl. The whole film moves at a steady, slow burning pace but somehow there’s never really a moment where you lose interest or let your mind wander. This could also be partly due to the stunning art direction and setting; the wild Scottish moor keeps things dramatic even if the characters aren’t. There’s that intense sense of escapism that comes with period pieces, something even the most technologically advanced sci-fi or action flick can’t achieve. However, it could be said that the film dwells a little too much on the bleak countryside and the sparse grounds, paying more time and attention to the setting than it does to some of the novel’s most crucial scenes. The wedding scene and the crazy-wife-in-the-attic revelation seem brisk and not as important, which is odd as they are basically two of the climactic scenes

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the entire story is building up to. It’s a bittersweet ending and it doesn’t go out with a bang. But there’s not a whole lot of bang to Jane Eyre anyway. It’s more just like witnessing a simple piece of truth. Even though none of it is real, you can’t help believing.

Directed by Mark Mylod Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(B)

As soon as I saw the trailer for What’s Your Number earlier this year, I knew that I was going to like it. It certainly wasn’t because of the promise of a sweeping love story – it’s hard to find romance in tracking down bedfellows. It was all to do with Anna Faris and her stupidly likeable personality. I knew I would get brainless laughter – and that’s exactly why this film works. It’s not even 9.30am in Chicago and already Ally Darling (Faris) has had a horrendously bad day. Her current “boyfriend” (Zachary Quinto) dumps her after a casual invitation to her sister’s wedding and her boss (Joel McHale), who has a penchant for sticking his hands down his pants and then sniffing his fingers, fires her. Then, on her way home she read an article that suggests her number of sexual partners will see her alone forever. Not the best news to receive when she’s on her way to her younger sister Daisy’s (Ari Graynor) engagement party. After a messy night on the booze, Ally decides that she won’t sleep with anyone until she finds “the one”. And since she doesn’t want to add more numbers to her tally, that involves tracking down all of her previous exes to see which ones got better over time. For this, she enlists the help of Colin (Chris Evans, Captain America), her commitmentphobe neighbour who always seems to answer his door wearing nothing but a tea towel. As the son of a cop, he’s a whiz at tracking down people, so the two set off to hunt down everyone from puppeteer Gerry Perry (Andy Samberg), to Jake Adams (Dave Annable), a wealthy businessman and Ally’s first boyfriend. Even without writing any spoilers down,

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you know how this film is going to end. But the journey from point A to point B is one of the best cinematic rides I’ve taken in a while. If you replaced Anna Faris with a typical rom com queen like Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl, this film would have been excruciating to watch. But Faris is so goofy and light-hearted that gags like putting on a fake British accent in front of an ex and wearing a dress two sizes too small to a political banquet are hilariously charming. Plus, it always looks like she’s having a ball of a time. The rapport between her and Evans is so natural, it allows the clunky script to have real zingers within it; the scene where they play strip horse in a basketball stadium is a notable highlight. And it’s nice to see Evans, who played an uptight, patriotic American superhero earlier this year, let loose in this flick. The number of shirtless scenes isn’t awful either. It’s certainly not a rom-com masterpiece by any standards. Some of the jokes, like the aforementioned crotch sniffing, seemed unnecessary and even though Ally has 19 exes to track down, we don’t see nearly as many of them as we hoped (Samberg’s puppeteer bit in the trailer was mysteriously absent from the film). But it did what it was meant to do: make me laugh. If Anna Faris stopped doing spoof comedy and actually accepted decent scripts, she’d be a huge star by now.

Demi Lovato Unbroken

Album Review by Samantha McQueen (B+)

Over the past year, Demi Lovato’s personal life has become infinitely more famous than her music. The 19-year-old was admitted to rehab last year after a nervous breakdown involving a punch up with a back up dancer. Since then, Demi has been forthcoming about all the issues she’s faced, from her almost decade long eating disorder issues and cutting. So it’s not surprising that Unbroken, her third studio album, is filled with powerful tracks that serves as her own personal therapy, as well as giving her fans insight into her life – and it’s not

the sugar coated Disney scene you expect. The opening track, All Night Long, is heavy with producer Timbaland’s influence and features an unrecognisable-sounding Demi. Although, for someone that is still in her teens, lyrics like “Come on with me, we stay up all night long, I want you in, I want you bad” might not exactly be the best image to give off to your young, impressionable fans. Likewise, Who’s That Boy, Lovato’s second single, wouldn’t sound out of place in a club – a club Lovato is still too young to attend in the States. It seems like she is indulging the desires of her label for the first four songs, putting her impressive voice through the autotune ringer, singing songs about boys and wanting to be somebody’s “shorty”. It’s a completely different vibe to the rest of the album, where she lets her struggles and fears on the line. Lightweight still talks about love and boys, but we’re shown it from her perspective, which is damaged and fragile: “Keep me from falling down, drowned in your love, it’s almost too much, handle with care”. Likewise, Fix A Heart, one of her most powerful vocal performances, will have audiences reaching for tissues: “I just ran out of band-aids/I don’t even know where to start/’Cause you can bandage the damage/You never really can fix a heart.” This song could have easily been swapped out for Skyscraper as her lead single. Perhaps her greatest achievement is For The Love Of A Daughter, a stripped back piano ballad, which is angrily dedicated to her estranged biological father. Here you learn of a childhood that isn’t sugar coated with Mickey Mouse ears, with lyrics like “lied to your flesh and your blood, put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved” and “oh father, please father, put the bottle down, for the love of a daughter”. Don’t be put off with her Disney background; Demi’s vocal abilities far surpass those of her mouse mates, who are more interested in creating controversy and B-grade bubblegum pop. Unbroken is an achievement to rival the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Christina Aguilera (another mouseketeer). If Demi keeps putting her life into her music, she’ll have a collection to rival the music greats – and have teenagers saying “Justin who?”

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Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then circle them and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD. Congratulations to our issue 20 winner, Vanessa Milne, North Shore Campus and issue 21 winner, James Hayter, City Campus.

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Photos by Anupam Singh

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