Debate | Issue 11

debate ISSUE 11 | JUNE 2015

CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks laurien.barks@aut.ac.nz

CONTENTS

SUB-EDITORS Matthew Cattin Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Nicole Schmidt, Ethan Sills, Rhianna Osborne, Julie Cleaver, Conor Leathley, Amelia Petrovich, Caterina Atkinson, Fiona Connor, Nicole Hunt, Matthew Cattin, Daniel Walker, Lucy McKenzie, Junior Chile, Molly Dagger, Yuval Eyal, Karina Brehmer, Shivan, Ali Thair, Thorne Williams, Daniel Collings, Tyler Hinde, Logan Gubb ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Contributions can be sent to

debate@aut.ac.nz

Pg 3 Editor’s Letter

Pg 17 Cracking the Truth

Pg 4 Advocacy

Pg 18 Hands Across the Sand

Pg 5 SRC Sez

Pg 20 Boy Blunder

Pg 6 Why We Procrastinate

Pg 22 Home-grown Hits

Pg 8 The Renewed, The Cancelled, and The

Pg 24 In Short

Future

Pg 26 Let’s Break it Down

Pg 9 Ten People Who Should Be Banned From

Pg 28 The Universe at Large: Part Three

Instagram

Pg 30 Go Bananas

PRINTER Debate is lovingly printed by Soar Print

Pg 10 Show Me Your Galaxy

Pg 32 The Gender-neutral Label

Pg 12 Barcelona vs Juventus

Pg 34 Puzzles

Debate is a member of

Pg 13 Safe.

Pg 35 Kids Crossing Their Eyes

Pg 14 Cool Shit

Pg 36 Reviews

Pg 15 Comics

Pg 38 Recipe

the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM. DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

Pg 16 An Interview with Hermitude

Cover illustration by Tyler Hinde

DIRECTORY

AUSM.ORG.NZ

CITY CAMPUS Level 2, WC Building ph: 921 9805 Mon-Thurs: 9am - 5pm Fri: 9am - 4pm NORTH SHORE CAMPUS (Temporary Location) AE112; Office D ph: 921 9949 10:30am - 1:30pm

SOUTH CAMPUS MB107 ph: 921 9999 ext 6672 Mon-Thurs: 9am - 3:30 GOVERNANCE & LEADERSHIP April Pokino april.pokino@aut.ac.nz

MANAGEMENT Tuhi Leef tuhi.leef@aut.ac.nz

VOLUNTEERS Romulus Swanney rswanney@aut.ac.nz

STUDENT MEDIA MANAGER Victoria Griffin vgriffin@aut.ac.nz

CLUBS Josh Tupene jtupene@aut.ac.nz

ADVOCACY Siobhan Daly siobhan.daly@aut.ac.nz

FA C E B O O K . C O M / A U S M D E B AT E

EVENTS Carl Ewen carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz

But alas, whether it comes down to my modest upbringing, my shyer approach to nudity, or the fact that I just get cold really easily, when the time comes for us Auckland gals to wave our boobs in the air like we just don’t care – I will not be freeing my nipple.

Does that mean I’ll be frowning at those who decide to? Not in the least. Be free nipples, be free. I don’t have the ability to cage anyone’s but my own, nor do I have the desire to.

I feel like I’m right smack dab in the middle of the controversy that’s surrounding this campaign. I mean, I get it - I get the frustration about the fact that a pigmented piece of flesh is more offensive in television and media than gore and violence. I understand that it’s unfair that both men and women have an identical body part, yet the nipple is overly sexualised on women only. I get a mad case of the eye-rolls when I see guys being interviewed about the campaign, who voice the fact that women shouldn’t be allowed to walk around topless or else they’d “just look at them all the time, man.” Eloquent, classy, and with a dash of ‘I blame your body for my own distraction.” Please random civilian, say more; push my ovaries further into my body.

EDITOR'S LETTER Good day all, The other day I was invited to free my nipple. It was more of political request than a personal one, but thrilling nonetheless. I clicked the event page, did a little research, saw a LOT of nipples (man, those little boob-hats come in many different styles, don’t they!), and had a think to see how I felt about it all.

For those of you who are unaware, the Free the Nipple campaign is a movement (globally sparked by a film produced last year) started in the United States that wishes to see the normalisation of the female nipple when it comes to, mainly the media, but also spills over into breast feeding in public, and topless equality territory.

The fact that images of the female nipple are banned, reported, and denied appearance on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter has caused an uproar because, despite these photos being completely non-sexual in nature, they are still deemed inappropriate. Yet pictures that feature topless males under similar circumstances, are completely acceptable.

Ladies everywhere are taking this as a sign that it’s time to make the female nipple as mainstream as any dude’s, release them from their not-so-metaphorical cages (bras with underwire, amiright?), and make the pointy point that the sight of a gal’s nipples shouldn’t automatically be deemed ‘inappropriate’ or in some cases, downright ‘pornographic.’ Across the globe, shirts are coming off, areolas are coming out, and anyone with nipples (particularly those of the female variety) is invited to join in.

I also understand the beauty of an opportunity in which people are invited to come forward, from any different background, race, and sexual orientation, and just be okay with one another. In all their nippily glory. The end goal of this campaign isn’t exactly unreasonable. It’s one of the gender equality campaigns that actually does promote equality. Gender, and otherwise in a way.

That being said, I know the male and female body are two very different things. And treating two different things in two different ways doesn’t mean that they’re being treated unequally, it just means that their being treated in a customised way. To me, nipples are actually quite a sexual part of the female body. I think that any part of the body that has to do with creating or nurturing life is sexual in a way. In that respect, we don’t all have the same nipples – half of us have nipples that help bring a new lil life into the world.

And I think it’s okay to consider them to be sexual, and worthy of keeping on the down-low. I don’t think it’s okay to consider them as ‘distractions’ or ‘pornographic,’ but calling them sexual in the sense of ‘life-starters’ and ‘sacred - in a badass kind of way’ is a perfectly okay description in my book.

I guess, I always have been, and always will be all good with people just doing their own thing, providing it’s not hurting anyone. So, if it’s important to you to be able to walk down the street with the gals out, and have no one glance twice, then fight for that right. On the other hand, if you’re okay with keeping your nipples for a few privileged eyes only, then sit back and relax. I just don’t like the level of hate and extremist views being thrown around on these social media event pages and comment sections. Guys…their nipples. Not nuclear weapons. Can we all just support one another, and hakuna our tatas in the process?

Have a good week, Laurien 3

ADVOCACY

CRIMINAL RECORD/CLEAN SLATE ACT The criminal Records (Clean Slate) Act 2004 governs this regime in New Zealand. So YUSSSS, it isn’t just a myth or rumour!

BUT, the name can be somewhat misleading. This is because it does NOT mean that your records will be clean slated/wiped completely from all records. It just means that you may hold back your criminal conviction history from others if you meet the Rule.

THE RULE: • IF you haven’t had a criminal conviction in the last seven years • AND you get asked “do you have any criminal conviction?”

• THEN you can legally say “No”.

CONDITIONS to this Rule: • NEVER had a custodial sentence eg.: • Imprisonment • Home Detention • Corrective Training • Borstal Training • NEVER been ordered by a Court to be detained in a hospital for treatment and care for your mental condition instead of another form of sentence.

• NOT been convicted of a specified offence (eg. sexual offending involving children, young persons or impaired) • MADE full payment of any fines, reparations or any costs that a Court ordered • NEVER been indefinitely disqualified.

If you meet THE Rule and all the conditions, then if asked whether you have a criminal conviction, you can say “NO” with confidence!

There is no need to apply for anything, it kicks in automatically.

So as soon as you meet The Rule and its conditions, you are covered.

NOTE If you are convicted of a subsequent offence upon becoming eligible, this scheme automatically stops.

EXCEPTIONS to this Rule (Non-Exhaustive): 1. If you are seeking employment as a: • Member of the Police • Prison/Probation/Security Officer • Role in national security • Judge, Justice of Peace, or Community Magistrate • Role in care and protection of children or young persons 2. If you are before a Court or Tribunal on any civil or criminal proceedings and your conviction history is relevant to that proceeding.

3. If you make an application under the Arms Act 1983 eg.

Firearms Licence 4. If you are under investigation for a report of ill-treatment or neglect of a child or young person.

If you need legal advice on any criminal charge you are facing OR are a victim of a crime and don’t know where to start, CONTACT US on advocacy@aut.ac.nz with your details and concerns.

Similar to a fitness coach screaming motivational comments, this quote will help you “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”

– Christian D. Larson Let’s face it, studying is not what you want to be doing right now.

You want to be playing video games, hanging out with your mates, reading up on your celebrity gossip, or watching movies. Even cleaning your room trumps preparing for your exams right about now!

However, from my own personal opinion, I believe that university grants students the opportunity to decide who they would like to be the master of their life. That single decision will propel important changes in their life, and when you believe in positive outcomes, that belief will turn into reality more often than not.

SRC SEZ My name is Faka’anaua Ki Peteli Hakalo, I am Tongan and I was born to ‘Ilaisaane Katokakala Tufulele Hakalo of Lofanga-‘Uiha Ha’apai and Siosiua Manakofua He Kavenga Hakalo of Hunga-Mataika Vava’u (Love you Mum and Dad).

As a Culture and Society faculty representative, I am indeed privileged in having this opportunity to write in Debate magazine.

Exams are coming up soon, and are of the utmost importance.

Examination pressure is threatening, but if you want to get anywhere, you have to put the effort in.

The Culture and Society faculty is planning an event for everyone in that faculty very soon to enjoy, so make sure you tell your friends and bring them along for some fun.

I would like to thank you all for all your hard work, and although this isn’t the end of the tunnel, we all get to go away during the holidays and have a bit of a break before next semester.

If you need anything or just want to talk, send me an email to cfaculty@aut.ac.nz. Good Luck for exams everyone, and God bless!

‘Ofa atu, Faka’anaua (aka. Naua)

5

WHY WE PROCRAS TIN ATE

by Nicole Shmidt I climb the stairs leading to my apartment door, knowing that each step I take is one step closer to the desk where I’ll be spending my entire night accompanied by half-a-dozen cups of coffee and a word document. I have a 2000-word essay due the following day — one that I’ve known about for at least two months, but haven’t started. At this point, it’s 10:30 pm. Seeing as my window of time is already so small, I arrive at the illogical conclusion that putting it off for another half hour or so won’t matter much.

Headphones and running shoes in hand, I go out the door I just came through. What was going to be a three-kilometer jog quickly turns into four, and then eight. I’ve learned that you can’t run away from your problems, and even if you try, they’ll still be waiting for you when you return.

When I do return, it’s nearly 12 am. — 14 hours left. I’d spent more than double that amount of time thinking about what I had to do as opposed to actually doing it. Or, if you prefer, I procrastinated. This wasn’t the first time I’d done this — in fact, I’ve watched the sunrise while perched behind my computer screen on more than one occasion.

I ’ V E CO M P L ETED A S S I G N M EN TS O N M Y CO M M U TE TO S C H OO L , A N D I ON C E S P EN T S EV EN H O U R S The following day, after my third coffee kicks in, I go through the process of convincing myself that I’ll change my ways. My attempts have yielded many failures and now here I am, still identifying as a procrastinator.

I know I’m not alone, as I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t fallen victim to procrastination at some point throughout their life. According to Psychology Today, approximately twenty percent of people identify as chronic procrastinators.

When I take the time to think about why we do it, or at least why I do it, I can’t think of a good reason that isn’t an excuse.

The handful of people I talked to about their habits couldn’t think of one, either.

WRI TI N G A N ES SAY I N A M C D ON A L D ' S B EC AUS E I T WA S TH E ON LY P L AC E N EA RBY TH AT H A D WI - F I .

Kevin Baker, the manager of AUT’s counseling team, describes it as being stuck in a behavior loop where poor choices lead to more poor choices.

Although there are many questions that can’t be answered, this isn’t one of them. There is an explanation — one that can be attributed to various psychological reasons.

“It turns into accumulation. You go round and round and the rut keeps getting deeper and deeper,” he says. “It doesn’t go away just because you’re worried about it, or wrapped with anxiety. And it doesn’t go away by just thinking about it.”

Elizabeth Peterson, a psychology professor at the University of Auckland who conducts research on human learning and development, says that in most cases it comes down to self-control. An individual who lacks this has more difficulty focusing on a task to reach their goal.

This idea of accumulation is an important one. Procrastination, like most actions in life, has consequences. As many of us have learned, the longer you delay something the more overwhelming it becomes.

A famous example is the marshmallow study. In this instance, a single marshmallow is placed in front of a child and they are told that they can either eat it now or have three later. If they wait, the reward is bigger as opposed to a smaller immediate reward. When we procrastinate, the things we get distracted by represent those immediate rewards — it’s the ability to focus on the bigger picture that allows a person to avoid putting things off.

Fear of failure can also play a role in answering the question at hand. People who don’t believe they can achieve an outcome use procrastination as an excuse to avoid being unsuccessful.

“It’s kind of a self-protection mechanism,” says Peterson. “If I think I’m going to fail a math test, I might not study because it’s easier for me to say, ‘Oh, I didn’t do well because I didn’t study,’ rather than, ‘I did study, I failed and therefore I feel bad.’”

Those who fear failure can be labeled as avoiders, while other types of procrastinators are recognized as either thrill seekers (those who wait until the last minute for a euphoric rush) or decisional procrastinators (those who can’t make decisions).

I’ve always claimed to work well under pressure because I like a challenge, which would make me a “thrill seeker.” I’ve completed assignments on my commute to school, and I once spent seven hours writing an essay in a McDonald's because it was the only place nearby that had Wi-Fi. Like any bad habit, it’s easy to fall into a routine that becomes a way of life.

Peterson says it’s like staring at a building — when you look at it from a distance it seems small but as you get closer to it, it becomes larger. If you stand at the base of the structure and look up, or in this case, stare at a blank word document the night before it’s due, it becomes overwhelming. This, of course, fuels our tendency to avoid things until they eventually become unavoidable.

As expected, there’s no cure for procrastination. Pedro Silva, senior learning advisor at AUT’s student learning center, says that to make complex projects less daunting, they can be broken down into smaller tasks. Writing one paragraph of an essay every day over the duration of a week is a lot less overwhelming than trying to produce 2,000 words in a night.

Again, it all ties back to that idea of self-discipline.

For one of the first times in my university career, I decided to give this whole anti-procrastination thing a go by spending a week being overly diligent and what not. This meant stripping away my identity as a procrastinator — something I had accepted to be part of who I was. It didn’t change how I spent my free time — if anything, it made me enjoy it more because I didn’t have a long to-do list looming over my head.

At the end of the day, procrastination isn’t a problem or some sort of illness. Like deciding what to make for breakfast or what colour of socks to wear, it’s a choice that we make. I know for a fact that I’ll see many more sunrises while perched behind my computer screen, but I also know that I’m capable of breaking away from my bad habits.

7

T H E RE NE WE D , T H E C A N C E LL ED AN D T H E FU T U RE: 2015 EDI TIO N And even though giving these shows any attention greatly pains me, The Bachelor NZ is coming back. Woo?

- C AN C EL L ED Surprisingly, very little on mainstream US television actually got the chop this year. Outside of a few high profile axing’s, relatively little veteran shows said farewell.

Funnily enough, the two biggest shows to end are the two that started fairly large trends. Firstly, CSI, which spawned dozens of other science-based crime shows as well as a hundred spin offs, will come to a close after fifteen years. It will return for a two hour finale special. CSI: Cyber will live on instead, with current lead Ted Danson joining Patricia Arquette.

by Ethan Sills As we have recently, and unfortunately, seen right here in New Zealand, television is all about ratings: it doesn’t matter if you’re a comedy, drama or a beloved current affairs show – if you don’t rate well enough, you don’t live.

The recent Campbell Live drama has brought the importance of ratings and viewership figures to the attention of New Zealand, but over in America, ratings are a constant, daily matter which plays a much bigger and more publicized role in the fate of television than it usually does here.

A few weeks ago, the annual Upfronts were held, where American network channels axe the shows that aren’t rating well enough, and offer up some fresh televisual meat that it hopes will do better. In honour of this, here is a very brief but broad run down on what you can expect to return to our screens in the next year, as well as what’s gone and what’s new.

- R E N E WE D Basically, about 90% of what airs on New Zealand television right now has been renewed. The big long running shows still chugging along would notably be Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory and SVU, which I believe are the longest running shows on our screens coming back. All three NCISs will also return, though the crime drama is much less prevalent these days. Instead, the superhero onslaught continues with more Arrow, The Flash, Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder will also return for fans of soapier drama.

Comedy-wise, The Simpsons will be back for its 27th season, the first without one of its original cast members following Harry Shearer’s departure. Joining the yellow family back on our screens will be more Modern Family, Family Guy, New Girl, Mom, and 2 Broke Girls.

For fans of British drama, we can expect new seasons of Broadchurch, Happy Valley, The Missing and Doctor Who. If you subscribe to Netflix or Lightbox, the net exclusive shows Outlander, Better Call Saul, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Daredevil are all coming back. And if you’ve got SoHo or just love HBO/Showtime, then rest assured Game of Thrones, Homeland, The Americans, Masters of Sex, True Detective, and Girls will be back,

And the beast that birthed the singing competition overload, American Idol, will also end with its next season. The show has been rocky for a while, after Simon Cowell left, with a number of high profile judging debacles. The Voice has likely stolen much of its thunder as well.

Two and a Half Men won’t be returning after wrapping up its twelve year. Other shows saying farewell include Offspring, Hart of Dixie, Revenge, The Following, Stalker State of Affairs, and Forever. Most of the other television never made it to our screens.

It is unlikely X Factor NZ will return: its ratings were much worse than in 2013 this time around, and if the grandfather of these shows, American Idol, can’t survive anymore, than how could our meagre local offering?

- FU T U RE Since it is most of what airs on our screens, I’ve had a look at what American networks are offering in terms of new programming.

Amongst the usual crap that will get cancelled fairly quickly (The Frankenstein Code doesn’t even deserve to air), there are some new shows ordered that actually look fairly interesting.

My top new drama choice will be Quantico, about FBI agents living and training together, but one of them ends up responsible for a massive terrorist attack. It looks like it could be brilliant in a soap-y sort of way.

In case you thought we didn’t have enough superhero shows, Supergirl will be gracing the small screen in a show which currently looks fairly identical to the Black Widow parody trailer from Saturday Night Live. A combined spin off of Arrow and The Flash called Legends of Tomorrow will be joining them as well. A smaller scale comic offering is Lucifer, loosely based on the character from Neil Gaiman’s excellent Sandman about the devil resigning and working at a night club.

Comedy wise, nothing seems to really be shaking the boat, sticking with the concepts of either following families or dating couples/ young singles. A few look promising though: my favourite would be The Real O’Neals, which follows a Catholic family who accidentally reveal all their personal problems to their entire parish and suffer the consequences. The trailer is really funny and it looks promising, showing that American network television still knows what it is doing.

Then again, the same network is airing a drama called Oil that seems to belong in the seventies, so… there is still room to improve.

10 people who should be banned from Instagram

by Rhianna Osborne Come on, we all know what I’m talking about here. You know, the people who clog up your Insta-feed with selfies, foodporn, and biceps. These are the people that I can’t stand on Instagram. Don’t get me wrong, I am a lover and a user of the app, but it’s these 10 people that just have to go ahead and spoil it every time.

The Foody These people have likely never experienced the wonder of warm food, but instead spend their time hovering above bowls of fruit-covered porridge in the hope that ‘likes’ will fill the void of their empty stomachs.

The Selfie Guy/Gal This person is typically far too overexcited to show people what a human face looks like; sifting through hundreds of horrendous snapshots, in a vain attempt to capture their ‘good

Artsy Fartsy These people have dedicated their entire feed to worshipping their artistic talent. Ridden with water-coloured works of art, or daydream doodled masterpieces. These users get me down every time. Yes, we know you can draw, can you please stop rubbing it in my face now.

The Hipster These types of people cannot gain satisfaction from the generic Lo-fi filter, but instead must find a cooler way to not

side’.

only take their photos, but share them too. By using antique

The Gym Junkie

to take the non-conventional approach by taking a Polaroid

A close cousin to the selfie guy, he is captivated by the idea of ‘gains’, and spends his time updating his purchased followers with a constant progress report in the form of a muscular montage.

The Show Off These people impress their followers with images of things they own, have borrowed, or are standing next to. It is important not to hate on this type of Instagram user however, as this is seemingly caused by a lack of love from their parents.

The World Traveler Adamant to make their followers realise how much better their lives are, the world traveller will drown their feed in photos of their adventures. All the while fully aware of the effect this will have on their followers, sitting in dark empty rooms. Oh, and let’s not forget the #TBT posts that follow just weeks later, so we all may relive those wonderful moments one more time.

photography equipment, or a pink Instax, these users prefer photo, and then taking a photo of that photo. How creative.

The Animal Lover These users drown their feed with images of tiny pugs in the hope of conveying their sensitive side to their followers. More often than not, however, they will likely be posing with a friend’s pug, a pet store pug, or a ceramic pug; either way they believe it to be adorable.

The Quote Guy Also in touch with his sensitive side, the quote guy prides himself on finding deep and meaningful quotes, and then posting them with a mountain in the background. How spiritual.

The Tumblr Taker Perhaps the worst of them all, this Instagram user simply Google’s ‘Cool Instagram photos’, and then proceeds to post them on his feed, claiming all of the credit for himself. It doesn’t get much lazier than that.

9

S H OW M E YO U R

GALAXY

by Julie Cleaver | Illustration by Logan Gubb There are oodles of metaphors that compare human nature to the galaxy. Celebrities being called superstars, people being a ‘pocket full of sunshine’(and I know that it’s all mine), or even saying someone’s eyes sparkle like stars, are all but a few human-space comparisons. Even old William Shakespeare associated humanity’s fate to stars when he famously (and topically) wrote in his play Julius Caesar that, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” I’ve honestly never wondered why there are so many celestial references in our language. I figured that outer space metaphors simply paint a nice mental picture. However, after visiting the Stardome, I discovered that perhaps these allusions are more than just metaphors, but direct parallel comparisons.

At the Stardome, I went to a show that was out of this world, ha ha ha. No but seriously, bad jokes aside, the show was mind blowing. You lie back in a chair and watch the entire known universe being explored before your eyes. A narrator navigates you through the whole journey and explains all the wondrous sights and discoveries along the way. Being a writer, I saw the whole extravaganza through a different lens, one that is linked to humanity, of course.

From my perspective, I learnt that the trends of the solar system directly mirror the trends of human nature. Now I’m no scientist, and I’d hate to be compared to one of those people who do something once and then claim they’re an expert; like people who are magically dieticians, health experts and personal trainers after going on one diet for three days. So although I’m not a scientist, I do know that particles and matter are all governed by particular rules. As humans and all other parts of the known universe are made up of the same particles - atoms and molecules - it makes sense that all matter would be ruled by the same governing principles.

This brings me to my point: I believe that everything, on an intergalactic and human level, is affected by the same energy trends.

In order to elaborate, I’ll have to tell you some background information about space. At the show I learnt that each star we see in the sky has its own individual solar system, just like our one. We have a sun (which is a star) and planets that orbit it, and so does every other star out there! This is crazy because there are billions of other stars, solar systems and planets out there that we know exist, but that are too far away for us to reach at the moment.

To form these solar systems, matter (like rocks and stuff ) travel through space in clusters. Over millions of years, the gravity from other stars pulls the clusters of rocks apart.

This is because the larger the mass of an object is, the more gravitational energy it has and as stars are massive, they have a huge amount of pull.

Therefore, eventually the rocks become fully separate from their clusters and begin to orbit the star that sucked them in.

However - and this is the interesting part - in the cluster, two rocks can become so physically close to each other that no matter how big the gravity of another object is, the rocks will remain connected; sort of like humans. We are a part of a family, school and usually a community when growing up, however we generally tend to drift away from our home when something bigger sucks us in, like a job overseas or even a flat in town. Although, when we are fully interconnected with another human soul, there is no outside force that can separate them.

Rocks can’t resist being pulled, they just move, the same way people move towards the most enthusiastic person in the room without even realizing it.

Another interesting point is how humans are drawn to energy, just like the rocks. Matter in space is pulled into the intense and dazzling energy of stars. Also, humans are magnetically attracted to people with crazy energy. Rocks can’t resist being pulled, they just move, the same way people move towards the most enthusiastic person in the room without even realizing it. Jack Kerouac wrote in one of my favourite books On The Road, “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” Did you notice the star reference? You’ll never stop noticing them now, sorry. Anyway, Kerouac talks about the irresistible pull he feels towards people who are mad with burning energy. In another quote, Kerouac also says, “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop.” Here he is abstractly saying how he is pulled by different energy forces, comparing earthly energy directly to that of stars.

Cosmic theories are definitely not just hippy mambo-jumbo.

They are based off real, observable, and dare I say, scientific phenomena. I believe this is because the building blocks of all matter are the same - atoms and molecules – therefore, the universal principles of all matter and energy must be the same as well. Either way, it’s cool to ponder outside of yourself for a few moments, and think about the great unknown. It’s the best way to take a drug-free mental trip without moving an inch!

(Just incase you’re wondering, no drugs were taken in the making of this article.)

11

B arce lona v s J uvent u s

by Conor Leathley Why Barcelona will win the Champions League Final Messi. Suarez. Neymar. In a European Champions League final, it all comes down to match–ups, and it is these three players who give Barcelona a clear advantage. Lionel Messi is the undisputed best player in the world. Luis Suarez provides a constant goal scoring threat that gives them a real bite in attack. Neymar, oft considered the third wheel in this goal-scoring triumvirate, is the captain of the Brazilian national team and has shown the ability to put the team on his back when need be. When all the cylinders are firing, these three can be about as lethal as Ser Gregor Clegane on a watermelon.

Though these players are the core strength of the team, they are not solely a three man army. Barcelona still retains some of the players that beat Manchester United 3-1 in the Champions League Final of 2011. Andres Iniesta, the little master who scored the winning goal for Spain in the 2010 Fifa World Cup, has recently shown that he still possesses some of the magic that once

made him, arguably, the top midfielder in the game. Man-mountain Gerard Pique (husband of Shakira) and manmolehill, Javier Mascherano, will form a formidable central defence that Juventus will find difficult to overcome.

Why Juventus will win the Champions League Final Though they are the hypothetical David in this fight, they are armed with a pretty sweet slingshot. They have one of the best goalkeepers of his generation in Gigi Buffon, a human dynamo upfront in the form of Carlos Tevez, Paul Pogba is rated as the best young player in the world, and they have smoothest man in sports, Andrea Pirlo #noPirlonoParty.

But none of these matter narrativewise as much as the reunion of Giorgio Chiellini and Luis Suarez! Suarez, as you may remember, made headlines around the world after performing his Hannibal Lecter impression on the shoulder of Chiellini during a World Cup match.

So, do they have a chance at toppling the Spanish giants? Well, they have won four Italian domestic league titles in a row (besides the fact that most of the Italian teams are crap).

They managed to hold the highscoring Real Madrid to only one goal in open play during the two semi-final matches played (the other goal scored was a penalty). They have shown the ability to put men behind the ball, hold steady on defence, and unleash on the counterattack. Gerard Pique, should his slow moving hips betray him, could be liable to this type of strategy.

Even with their own star power, the prospect of shutting down Barcelona’s destructive front three for at least 90 minutes may prove too much to handle.

115 goals have been scored between Messi, Suarez and Neymar this season (in all competitions), almost double the amount that Juventus have scored in their domestic league combined!

Juventus will make a game of it, sure.

They may even make Barcelona fans feel uncomfortable in their seats for periods of the game. But, I’m afraid that it looks like Barcelona will be adding another trophy to their case.

Barcelona-2 Juventus-1

safe.

by Amelia Petrovich Most of us learn from an early age that we won’t like and respect everyone we come across in life. From the kid who stole your spade in the sandpit, to the guy at the dairy who was stingy with his ice-cream scoops, there has always been some twats around that you’ve just had to deal with. Twats come in many forms and reside in different spaces, but due to the prevalence of social media, almost all twats now also lurk on Facebook. These guys will pollute your newsfeed in various ways, whether it be with relentless posts of their designer salads, or consistent “HERE IS A VERY SAD LOOKING PUPPY, LIKE THIS STATUS IF YOU’RE AGAINST PUPPY SADNESS” statuses.

Facebook twattery has reached new heights recently though, with the misuse of the social media site’s new ‘Safety Check’ feature following the recent earthquakes in Nepal. If you haven’t already come across it, Safety Check is an option that will pop up for you if Facebook thinks that you may have been in or near Nepal during the quake. The idea was if a person had survived the quake, they could let the bulk of their friends and family know instantly by using Safety Check, which would then broadcast the information out to everybody on their friends list. Now, I think this is a really innovative and fantastic idea for those affected by the tragedy, and it could be an incredible tool if used well. But, unfortunately, it seems like people are basically just being horrendous twats about this and not using it well at all.

When I first saw people on my newsfeed from Dublin and Los Angeles marking themselves ‘safe’ after the Nepal earthquake, it took me a while to get what was going on. Obviously, it at first seemed to be without point or reason. Of course you’re ‘safe’, friend, you live very far away from this specific disaster.

Did you really think that earthquakes could shimmy over from Nepal to America or Europe and rock you around too? It wasn’t until the other day when a friend of mine complained about people “mocking Nepal” online that I realized that actually, people worldwide are just being dickheads. The buzz is that people globally are using the new Facebook tool as a total pisstake. Everyone knows you’re safe if you’re lucky enough to not be in Nepal, and that’s the joke. It’s not just my foreign Facebook losers either, Peter Robinson, the First Minister of Northern Ireland also twatted up and declared himself safe via Facebook from his cushy home in Belfast city.

I like to think of myself as a relatively fun person. I go to town sometimes, I’ve played Singstar, and I can take a joke now and then. But I can’t really find a way to condone this sort of thing, especially when the effing First Minister over in Belfast thinks this is a hilarious idea too. These earthquakes have killed over 8000 people with more than 6000 injured, and countless families losing their homes and livelihoods. We are all very lucky to have not been affected in the same way, but in what universe does that mean that we have a right to gloat over and trivialize the ordeal? Even for survivors, these quakes will have lasting effects. I’m not talking home repairs or an interesting story to tell your grandkids, I’m referring to real, actual mental and emotional trauma.

The Safety Check feature has now been disabled on Facebook for the time being, but I’m really hoping that the volume of cyber-twats that used it this time around won’t prevent it being brought back should the need arise again. Stick with posting irritating click-bait if you must, but don’t make fun of tragedy. It’s not alright.

13

COOL SHIT

R O SE HIP DON' T LIE The most powerful beauty oil you can use, award-winning certified organic Trilogy Rosehip Oil Antioxidant+ is soon to be available in a limited edition 15ml bottle. Retailing at $17.95 and available June-July 2015 in selected Farmers, pharmacies, department stores, and health stores nationwide, this oil works to improve brightness and evenness of skin tone, helps reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and improves skin elasticity and firmness.

THE BIG TRIP² Lonely Planet has offered up two copies of their ultimate gapyear guide, The Big Trip to give away to two lucky winners.

Retailing at $29.99, these books will set you up with essential pre-trip advice, practical tips on volunteering/working abroad, regional overviews, tips and stories, and a comprehensive directory of essential resources. They’re a traveller’s must-have!

To win, simply email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with your biggest musthave for long flights.

OH THE HORROR! StudentCard has given us two double passes to see the latest horror flick, Poltergeist, in participating cinemas. You and a friend (or Mum) could be getting the fright of your lives in no time, all you have to do is email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with the subject line “Oh the Horror” and a short recollection of your most embarrassing moment – real life horror story, if you will.

Winners will be notified on Friday June 5th.

WIN 15

An inter view with Hermitude Laurien has a quick chat with Australian electronic duo, Hermitude, before their tour hits New Zealand for two performances on July 10 and 11.

How did Hermitude come to be? What was the process to becoming the duo you are today?

We started out as mates sharing a love of good music and aspiring to write it ourselves. We wrote a beat in Gusto's dad's studio one night and it came out sounding pretty sweet so we just kept on doing it and here we are!

Where do you draw your inspiration from in terms of your unique sound?

We listen to lots of different types of music. Blues, Rap, Classical, Trap, Jazz, Soul etc. There's something amazing in all forms of music so that inspires us a lot. Also lots of travelling helps too.

Do you have a specific process to writing your music? What is it?

We try and change it up as much as possible so as not to get stale.

Sometimes we may start with a beat. Other times a chord progression. Then other times we'll amp up a drum machine, put it in the corridor and mic it up and start something that way. Anything to keep it fresh.

Has there been a particular moment on your musical journey that's really opened your eyes, or changed the way you think about the world?

An epiphany, or 'aha' moment?

Travelling around the world has definitely opened our eyes up to some amazing cultures and I think for me, personally, realising how lucky we are to be doing what we are doing is an epiphany I keep having over and over.

What's the strangest fan encounter you've had?

We once had some fans jump on the bonnet of our car as we were leaving a gig in Hobart. Luckily we were just reversing so there was no casualties, but they definitely didn't want us to go!

What have you been listening to lately?

Alabama Shakes, Kendrick Lamar, Jami Sieber, Big KRIT, Lianne La Havas, Ernest Ranglin.

Anything you'd like to say to your New Zealand fans? To tide them over until your performance in July?

Our new album comes out on May 15, we think you'll really like it, and we hope to see you at our gigs getting’ down!

One of the latest health phenomenons that has popped up is coconut water. Although the thirst quencher has been around for centuries in countries the coconut is native to, the trend is taking off around the world, and this time New Zealand hasn’t been left behind.

However research shows the packaged “coconut water” you are buying from the local, has had to be pasteurized to enable it to last longer on the shelf. If it’s a natural product, should it really have a year-long shelf life? The pure greatness of the health drink is slowly diminished by unwanted sugars substituting for the taste that’s been stripped away along with any bacteria during the pasteurization stage, leaving less of the natural goodness you were supposed to be craving in the first instance.

CRACKING THE TRUTH

by Fiona Connor Paleo this. Gluten-free that. Juice cleanse this. Clean eating that.

These days we are constantly hounded with new health fads, supposedly in existence to keep us looking slim and feeling great.

Oh, and there was something about them being good for us too… but in reality, after the dust from the hype has settled, are we really sure of the benefits they offer us?

One of the latest health phenomenons that has popped up is coconut water. Although the thirst quencher has been around for centuries in countries the coconut is native to, the trend is taking off around the world, and this time New Zealand hasn’t been left behind. But is coconut water all it’s cracked up to be, or is it just another nutty craze?

Coconut water is derived from the clear liquid in the centre of the coconut, not to be confused with coconut milk, which is made from the white flesh of the coconut. It is high in potassium, electrolytes, vitamins and nutrients, with some doctors calling it ‘dew from the heavens.’ It is so high in amino acids, organic acids, enzymes and antioxidants - it really does sound like a miracle drink.

While observing the lack of pure products available, one company has come up with a solution to this: to keep coconuts as fresh as Mother Nature intended. Experts are calling this the revolution of the coconut water rage. Cocoloco produce coconut water with a twist. The coconuts are picked directly from the trees of Thailand, chopped down to a more convenient size, chilled, shipped, and delivered without any pasteurization or packaging. Their aim is to stay true to the natural product that it is, and allow coconut water to be enjoyed straight from the nut with all the benefits it offers in its purest of forms. And with keeping it au naturel, the benefits are bountiful.

Cocoloco coconuts don’t have any added sugar, and are therefore extremely low in fat, meaning they contain fewer calories than an apple. Coconut water, in its natural state, passively offers a load of potassium, more than fifteen times than that of a regular sports drink. This is great news for your heart, kidney and other vital organs, plus it helps nerves and muscles communicate, which makes it the perfect post-workout refreshment. Cocoloco is also a known hangover cure, as it refuels your body with all the electrolytes it lost while you were spinning yarns over a brew on the d-floor.

These health crazes come and go, so do your research. If it sounds like it is too good to be true, it probably is. Be smart and check the label. Go loco for the natural coco, otherwise you may as well just stick to water. If it’s in a plastic bottle, (the same goes with your orange and apple juices) check the sugar content, but also the use by date. My apple doesn’t last a year in the fridge. Does yours?

17

HANDS ACROSS THE SAND

by Nicole Hunt A road trip to Piha made my weekend. I didn’t go for a long romantic walk on the beach, nor to catch some waves. I’m forever alone and it’s a bit cold for a swim. Instead, I went for a casual dose of activism against deep sea oil drilling. The turnout was small, however a few thousand did turn up to a protest in the city for the same reason two months ago. It’s all about location, location, location.

Hands Across the Sand is an annual event that takes place around the world on May 16. The name makes it quite a selfexplanatory event. People gather across beaches worldwide and hold hands in protest against offshore oil drilling. The demonstrations began in the US in 2010 in response to the Gulf of Mexico disaster that happened in April that same year.

This happened to be the largest accidental marine oil spill in the history of the petroleum industry. An explosion occurred on an offshore drilling unit owned by BP, killing 11 workers and causing a rapid flow of oil to leak into the ocean for 87 days.

Drilling for oil on land isn’t particularly healthy for wildlife and the environment as it is. However, drilling out in the ocean is next leve, as you’re messing around under a serious amount of water. To find the underwater oil reserves, seismic waves are blasted into the ground to reveal hidden topography.

The problem with this is these seismic waves produce a noise that disorientates whales and has the potential to cause mass beachings. Calls for more testing to be done on the impact of seismic waves were made after 110 pilot whales became beached on Farewell Spit, at the top of the South Island in February.

Today, according to the Mineral Management Service, only 0.001 percent of the billions of oil transported in U.S. waters is spilled. The industry has a surprisingly good track record. A century ago we had a pretty good chance of ruining the world at a rapid pace with the way we handled oil drilling. Today we are still ruining the world at a pretty solid pace. However, rules and regulations have since been put in place to minimize the damage caused by oil drilling. Nevertheless, shit happens.

300 to 500 oil spills happen each year, and the number will only grow with increased production. Once an oil spill begins, it’s over. Oil spreads on water at a rate of half a football field per second. Coastal communities dependent on tourism and fishing could be ruined by increased development, pollution and disruption of marine life habitats. However, although many communities oppose deep sea oil drilling, some cautiously welcome it for its supply of jobs.

300 to 500 oil spills happen each year, and the number will only grow with increased production.

Our government has been clinking wine glasses with the biggest oil companies in the world lately. Last year, six onshore and nine offshore permits were granted to nine different companies, up from the ten permits issued during the previous year. For a country with a reputation of being ‘clean and green’, our government has been awfully nonchalant about risking our assets.

It’s hard to imagine how the world can operate without oil.

Countries stay connected with airplanes, and cities with cars, buses, and ferries, all run by oil. But, imagine a New Zealand after a horrendous oil spill off the Taranaki Coast. In America they had 40 000 people and over 1000 vessels working on a spill. In New Zealand we have 400 trained responders and three dinghies. We are throwing away millions to put our environment, way of life and economy at risk. In the long term, this oil dependency will cost us far more than transforming our transport and energy systems. But I digress, how do we persuade a government that merely pretends to listen to the other 99 percent of its people.

19

BOYBLUNDER

by Matthew Cattin

Failing is winning’s uglier, ruder, yet infinitely more valuable brother. As motivational posters will tell you, it is an absolutely necessary aspect of success, but let’s be real, it’s never fun. Today I will share with you a few of my G-rated fails. You’re welcome.

May they teach you to succeed where I did not, and make you feel better about that media comm essay.

Spitball Cinema

I was a good kid, for the most part, but I must admit I made the occasional horrible choice. I was at the cinemas with a friend, and we decided it would be hilarious to make spit balls with our tickets and fire them at heads during the pre-film advertising.

We were second row from the back, and it was a relatively empty cinema, so we started aiming for three heads in the front row. I guess I thought the balls would never go the distance… But on my first attempt, I hit a bald fella in the back of the head. I instantly felt the familiar cold sweat of guilt as we silently watched the guy brush the soggy ball from his shiny head. He could have yelled at us… He could have talked to management. But what he did was so much worse. Without a word, he left his two friends at the front, and started walking up the stairs. At this stage, my stomach was in knots, and I was just about shitting myself in fear. There was nobody else in the cinema… I was bracing for the hurricane. But it never came… Silently, he walked up the back row, and sat in the seat directly behind mine. There he stayed the entire film, like a hawk, keeping my stomach in uncomfortable knots tighter than a nun’s... I was too afraid to turn around, to eat, to laugh at the film’s jokes, to do anything. I was paralysed in fear. We may have won the spit ball battle, but this guy was a true veteran of mind games, and he sure as spit won the war.

Die Hard (On the Inside)

On a visit to Hong Kong, I was elated to discover a television set installed in the wall above the bathtub. The set was sealed behind glass to prevent electrocution and whatnot, so the only means to operate it was a seemingly airtight, shrink wrapped remote. What’s a fella to do?! It was the dream set up. I ran a hot bubble bath (because bitch, I’m worth it), and settled into a movie (Die Hard 4 unfortunately). When one encounters a waterproof remote, floating it in the bath like a rubber ducky is the only reasonable option right?

Well I thought so. Sadly, nobody else shared my enthusiasm for floating electronics, and as it turned out, the remote wasn’t airtight at all. After an hour’s soak, I got out, dried, and tried to turn off the TV. Access denied – the remote was dripping, and since the TV was sealed behind glass, it was our only hope. We called the poor hotel staff, and a few minutes later, half a dozen men entered the room and I had to explain to them what happened while they, apologetically (bless), fixed the problem.

My First Bar Tab.

My rather wealthy cousin’s 21st was held at a fancy bar in the CBD. Having only just turned 18 (and thus far only tasted beer and RTDs) I decided her endless bar tab would be a great opportunity to transform from boy to man and discover what I liked. I wanted to find the drink that would define me… I wanted the shaken, not stirred confidence. I wanted it all… So I started out easy on a complimentary cocktail that floated past on a waiter’s tray. I then tried champagne, gin and tonic, rum and coke, Baileys, another cocktail, wine, and a beer or so for good measure. I recall at some point in the night, after my fifth or so, my cousin told me mixing drinks was a bad call, but by then it was far too late. It was my first time being absolutely horsed, and I tell ya, I was looser than a wizard’s sleeve. I had the confidence of the gods, and my legs felt as lightweight as I was. Despite my despicable shape, I made it home in one piece, but the moment I got to bed and shut my eyes, the room started to spin, and I discovered very quickly just how sick alcohol can make you.

Defecated Smile

So apparently baths aren’t my thing… This particular fail, I was thankfully too young to remember, but if I ever go to a hypnotist or therapist, I’d wager they would unlock the horrific trauma that unfolded one evening in the bathtub. I’ve been told many a time by my proud elder brother and disappointed parents about the event – so often that I almost remember the soft warm shit squeezed in my tight grip. Let me explain… My brother and I were taking a bath together, as young kids do before pubes make life awkward. Happy as pigs in shit, I’m sure we were, splish, splash, sploshing in the bath. My brother must have gotten a little too excited however, and decided to celebrate bath time by squeezing out a log – an aqua birth, if you will. He immediately evacuated the vicinity, leaving his freshly defecated breakfast and I to become acquainted. And acquainted we did become… You see, leaving his hapless little brother in a bath with his shit just wasn’t enough for my brother - he wanted the whole damn world to burn. He told me it was a boat (probably a steamer), and as an imaginative young lad, I believed him. By the time mum found me, I was all alone, shit smeared over my hands, pushing the little log around the bath.

Thanks for the therapy Ryan, you no good twofaced hillbilly bastard.

21

Hom e G r ow n Hits

By Daniel Walker

Last week marked the end of New Zealand Music Month. But rather than just sweeping it under the rug until next year, why not check out these quality New Zealand musicians…for free? Yep, all you frugal students out there can own these 10 brilliant home-grown tunes without opening your wallet. However, don’t forget that musicians can have a hard time getting by. So if you like what you hear, consider buying their albums, or getting tickets to a show so you can see the music you’ve just been enjoying.

You can listen/download at: tinyurl.com/freenzmus

Chelsea Jade – Under

Career Girls – #00FFFF

Bespin – Osiris

Snake & Wolf – Good to Me (feat. Ills Winter)

A drifting, textured track with vocals that alternate between dreamy and raw. Recorded a whopping four years ago while Jade was still known as Watercolours, this wizened track is on par with some of her more recent work. Best heard early in the morning on the way home from an intense night out.

Opening for both Laneway festival and Jakob earlier this year, Auckland-based cloudrock band Bespin are hardly the most obscure names on this list. Osiris is a great demonstration of how the fourpiece can manage to turn a wash of guitar texture into a pounding track with constant drums and a driving bassline. I recommend hearing this live.

This song is the most intense on this list. It tricks you into thinking you’re listening to some kind of 80s-pop-inspired song, then bam! Out of left-field is the fastest breakbeat percussion you’ve ever heard. There’s no way to keep up with it. Fun fact: the song title is the hex code for an eye-bleeding shade of cyan.

A sexy, aggressive track from Snake & Wolf, the non-drum-&-bass alias of The Upbeats. The Wellington duo frequently hit the worldwide stage with their drum & bass. However, for this track they’ve collaborated at home with another New Zealander, Ills Winter, whose music is self-described as “sexy folktronica”. Great one to set off at a party that’s lacking in sleaziness.

Sean Mackey – New Zealand Sprawl

A well-polished chillstep track, best experienced with closed eyes and good headphones. Spacy piano and airy strings take your mind away to some of New Zealand’s more serene places, while steppy percussion keeps it interesting through the song’s whole duration. You can get this track from The Beginning, a free compilation by Somico music collective.

Evan Sinton – Swinging Punches

Right from the first line, it is apparent Sinton has ridiculous vocal talent, with an occasional growl giving it an oomph of extra feeling. I saw this alt/ pop song performed live on an acoustic guitar with two broken strings, yet Sinton still managed to make it sound good. This is a great song to listen to when you need to vent some assignment deadline anger.

Fuyuko’s Fables - No Such Thing as a Green Eyed Fox

A vocally strong, upbeat, folk sing-along, complete with a little xylophone. However, around halfway, it takes a turn to become sombre and reflective, endlessly repeating the mantra: “we’ve all been low”. It almost sounds like the Wellington threepiece have taken two songs and put them together, but they’ve done it in a very effective way. Fans of Fleet Foxes will probably enjoy this track.

Marika Hodgson – Parallel Love (feat. Noah Slee)

A bass-drenched, groovy R&B track done in collaboration with fellow Aucklander, Noah Slee, and his silky falsetto soul voice. Hodgson is the bassist for a variety of other NZ artists including Esther Stephens & The Means and Nathan Haines. Parallel Love includes a five stringed bass solo, which really sounds unique. Best heard while strutting down K Road and feeling like an impromptu street dance session.

Wet Wings – You’re Not

This is a super cute song. The Wellington-based duo first create vocal looping magic, and then cover it in layers of adorable sounding instruments.

Best listened to while doing something that you would find in a Wes Anderson film. This song is from the Shaky Isles compilation, which also has 13 other sweet NZ tracks available for free.

New Gum Sarn – Bad Soy

A super catchy post-punk track at first, which slowly breaks down into a hazy instrumental jam/ solo. The music video is also really trippy. Seriously, who has that much skin on their face? They’re also locals—you could’ve caught them at Albert Park all the way back in O-Week. Best listening experience is when under the influence.

23

IN SHORT

PRODUCER PRODUCTION

By Junior Chile

“Prod” - Cross Beat Pollination is a producers' showcase. Rather than having a focus on performers (DJs, MCs, bands etc.), we want to put the spotlight on the producers - something we feel doesn't happen enough in a live context.

At the moment, the underground electronic music community is bursting at the seams with incredibly talented people making all kinds of amazing stuff behind closed bedroom doors. We're all keen for people to check out our stuff, but chucking it on SoundCloud and hoping for the best simply isn't adequate when it just ends up being another drop in an ocean of everybody else doing the same thing.

The plan is that these nights will provide an opportunity for members of this community to actually meet face to face, and will facilitate and encourage creative exchanges, collaboration and support.

Instead of being yet another midweek student club night, we want to provide an option that is more of a networking opportunity- a gathering of music nerds/enthusiasts, fellow bedroom producers, and punters who are just generally interested in the craft but may not otherwise have access to it.

The event offers an exclusive peek behind the curtains from our weekly guests - showcasing fresh creations, unreleased tracks, b-sides and works in progress - flashing their setups and generously taking us through their varied creative processes - needle dropping open samples and reference inspiration - coming through with surprise visits from the artists they produce for It’d be fantastic to see you there!

HIGH HEEL EXPECTATIONS

by Rhianna Osborne

Earlier this month, the illustrious Cannes Film Festival took place.

Everyone who is anyone in the film industry was there and dressed to the nines. But apparently that wasn’t good enough for festival organisers - an amputee was scolded for not wearing high heels.

Film Producer, Valeria Richter, who has had part of her left foot amputated was pulled aside by festival officials who made a commotion of her flat shoes. She was eventually allowed into the festival, but only as an exception, as many of her colleagues were turned away.

And it didn’t stop there. All throughout the course of the event, women were stopped and checked to see if they were wearing heels, and if so, only then would be allowed to proceed.

What kind of absurdity is this? Yes high heels are glamorous and appropriate for prestigious events such as this, but since when have they been mandatory? Statistics show that high heels are one of the biggest factors leading to foot problems in women, with a third suffering permanent damage as a result of prolonged wear. It is a wonder that women choose to wear high heels at all!

Nevertheless, flat shoes are now regarded as the anti-Christ, and high heels are to be worn at all times. So be careful ladies, if you’re out enjoying a morning run in your Nike Air’s, it will soon be regarded as a serious offence.

PLASTIC BOTTLE KAYAK

By Lucy Mackenzie

NORTHERN TERTIARY CHALLENGE

by Molly Dagger and Yuval Eyal

Arun George Paul is a second year student at AUT, completing a Bachelor of Business; he has completed additional papers in Computer and Information Sciences. Whilst Arun was completing a Computing Technology in Society paper he became more aware about how current society can negatively impact the environment through e-waste and single use materials.

The AUT Titans headed off to the 2015 Northern Tertiary Challenge on Friday the 22nd May at Auckland’s Trusts Arena.

It brought together hundreds of students from different Tertiary Institutions from around the North Island to compete head to head in a variety of sports for the prestigious Northern Tertiary Challenge Shield.

Arun heard about a group of young people who were working together to make kayaks using recycled materials - plastic bottles - and decided to volunteer. Together they have created several kayaks using plastic bottles. Arun was involved in the project from the start – contributing to the design, construction and operation of the plastic bottle kayaks. He also recruited an AUT mechanical engineering student – Noble Clement – to assist with the construction stage and Jamie McDell, a former AUT student also became involved.

Although our basketball team had higher hopes, these Titans fought valiantly into 3rd place. The AUT Netballers were as graceful as ever, and also ended the day in 3rd. We had two teams entered into the football competition, with both of them playing their hearts out. At the beginning of the day, A-team player, Charlie Hunn, said he was mostly looking forward to competitively playing the teams from other institutes. However, it was the B-team who ended up sailing into 2nd place, which is a fantastic result. Our two volleyball teams were fired up and ready to go on challenge day. Fuelled on only a banana for breakfast, Matariki Totoro had full confidence in his team after winning their first game. His team finished the day in 3rd place. Our touch team was on point for most of the day, winning games back to back. However, they sadly lost the final to the University of Auckland. Our players were obviously much more valuable than theirs though, with AUT player, Takoha Ropati, becoming the Touch MVP. Our ultimate Frisbee team were amazing, having to soldier on through the mud for hour-long games – they took out 3rd place. Our fabulous hockey team finished up 2nd, with Raniera Harris being crowned the Hockey MVP.

The aim of the project was to make the plastic bottle kayaks and then paddle along the coastal Abel Tasman National Park on a three day adventure at the end of March. Unfortunately Arun was unable to participate in this expedition due to family reasons, but plans to attend future expeditions. Arun says “ the entire project is about making people aware of the amount of single use materials (especially plastic bottles) in our environment that don’t break down. This project highlighted the importance of reuse, responsible consumerism and proper recycling.”

The team also worked with sustainability and education experts to design lessons for the current school curriculum. School students have helped name the kayaks, had video interaction with the crew during the journey, and learned about marine ecology, sustainability and social enterprise. Now that the expedition is complete, school students will be challenged to apply what they learned and undertake environmental actions within their schools and communities.

AUT came in 2nd overall, making for a successful event, despite some almost-but-not-quite results. Our teams played excellently, and with our great support and sportsmanship, it was no surprise that AUT took out the Team Spirit Trophy. The Northern Tertiary Challenge is one of the biggest, most exciting sporting events of the year so make sure you get involved with the AUT Titans and compete next year!

25

Let’s Break It Down The M B T I s ys tem

by Amelia Petrovich | Image by James Justin The Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator is something that a few of us have heard of. ‘That-random-quiz-thing-you-do-and-get-given-fourletters-to-describe-your-personality’ however, is something that significantly more people know about. You see those letters floating around sometimes, perhaps in relation to characters in your favourite TV show, or team building activities at work, but what the hell do they actually mean?

Because I’m a boring weirdo who loves this kind of thing, I’m going to attempt to explain it all to you. If you like, jump on Google and search ‘MBTI quiz’ for yourself, or maybe even search ‘MBTI type descriptions’ and have a read to suss out your own type.

Done it? Good.

So once you get the hang of the whole thing it becomes super easy and fun, but if this is the first time you’ve ever heard about MBTI you’re going to want to read closely. MBTI is based around the idea the each individual prefers to perceive (take in information) and judge (draw conclusions about information) in different ways. MBTI explains these preferences by allocating four functions per person, which are often written out as a four-letter code (for example, ISTP or ENFJ). There are sixteen possible letter combos and therefore sixteen different personality profiles according to this system, all of which are equal and pretty groovy.

So lets take a wee look at the type ESFJ for a second. The two letters in the middle there that are not in italics represent this particular type’s two favourite ‘psychological functions’. Now, Carl Jung, the psychologist who informed the MBTI system (or C-Jung, as I like calling him), reckoned that everybody has four of these that they use to different degrees throughout life (thinking, feeling, sensing and intuiting), but the two that are noted down in your MBTI type are basically your two faves. This particular type’s two faves happen to be sensing and feeling, even though they probably intuit and think occasionally too.

According to ol’ C-Jung, people can prefer to perceive by either sensing (S) or intuiting (N) and prefer to judge either by thinking (T) or feeling (F), so these two letters are also known as the perceiving and judging functions of your type.

People who take in information by sensing tend to focus on what facts and details they have literally observed and can prove (“I can tell you are angry at me because you are speaking loudly and your hands are clenched), whereas people who take in information intuitively prefer to interpret what has happened and focus on the abstract (“I can tell you are angry at me because you seem really on edge and things haven’t been right between us for weeks”).

People who make judgments and decisions based on feeling focus on emotions to decide what to do (“I would feel much calmer and happier if we talked this out”), whereas people who judge and decide by thinking tend to employ logic to help them (“If we talk this out, the dispute will be over quicker, so it makes sense for us to do that”).

So lets go back to our ESFJ friend again, shall we? The J on the end there tells us that this type likes to structure the world around them by judging, and we know that they make their judgments based on emotion because they’ve also got an F for feeling in the middle. Therefore, we’re going to call the F the ‘extraverted’ function (‘extraverted’ pretty much just meaning ‘on the outside’). See, the last letter of a type always tells you which letter in the middle is extraverted.

For an ESFJ it’s F, the judging function, but for a type like ESFP, the perceiving function would be ‘on the outside’ instead (the perceiving function in this case being S).

So the last letter lets you know which middle letter is extraverted, right? Cool.

Logically, the middle letter left over is the letter that’s introverted (or ‘on the inside’), right? Cool.

But how do we know which of these is the most important for a person.

Easy, the answer lies in that very first letter, E or I. These actually stand for ‘extraverted’ (I know that spelling looks wrong, but in all the literature related to C-Jung or MBTI they spell it like that so it’s legit, fun fact) and ‘introverted’, and they stand for the type of world a type prefers to work within, the inner or the outer world.

Now, as an I-type myself, I feel compelled to declare right now that ‘introverted’ is not the same as ‘shy’ or ‘quiet’, nor is ‘extraverted’ the same as ‘confident’ and ‘loud’. These words just describe which world you feel the most comfy in.

Introverts may love parties and meeting new people, but will always find the most solace and relaxation in solitude. Extraverts need their space every so often too, but feel most re-vitalized once they’ve spent time in the ‘outer’ world with lots of people and talking.

So if we have an ESFJ friend who is extraverted and keen to spend a lot of time in the outer world, it makes sense that their most extraverted function is the one they use the most often right? The letter J at the end tells us that their judging function (the F) is extraverted too, so we can conclude that this type spends the most time making judgments externally via feeling. They also have that lovely wee introverted S, meaning that (when they’re not busy being judgey-feely) they perceive the world internally via sensing.

Same thing in reverse for an ISFJ, these guys are introverted and therefore would spend most of their time sensing internally, but with a decent amount of judgey-feeling too. ESFJ is judgey-feely followed by percievey-sensing, and ISFJ is percievey-sensing followed by judgey-feely. I think my brain is melting, lets move on.

Pretty much, the first letter tells you if you’re extraverted or introverted, the second tells you if you prefer to sense or work with intuition, the third indicates your preference for thinking or feeling and the last letter susses out if you prefer to judge or perceive. Literally everything else that’s important about MBTI is just the interplay between all of those letters!

Easy right?

Sort of easy?

A little easier than before?

No? Well, shit…

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The Universe At Large

Examining phase two and beyond of Marvel's Cinematic Universe Part Three: The Future

by Ethan Sills So Avengers: Age of Ultron has been and gone. It opened with exceedingly high expectations after the success of its predecessor, but while it has been successful, what was meant to be the biggest blockbuster of the year made a much smaller splash than anyone was expecting, both commercially and critically.

Despite this, the MCU is now the highest grossing film franchise of all time, surpassing the eight Harry Potter films and all 23 James Bond. So even if Ultron was not as successful as people would have expected (only in Hollywood would earning the second biggest opening weekend of all time be considered a failure), there is no denying that Marvel is still on a roll and it will take a lot more to bring it down. So just what can we expect over the next few years?

Mostly, a lot of movies. While the franchise waited a year between Avengers and Iron Man 3, we only have to wait until July for things to carry on, when Ant-Man gets released nearly a decade after Edgar Wright first began planning in. The film sees Paul Rudd as Scott Lang, who fights crime after gaining a suit that allows him to shrink.

I’m hoping it turns out more interesting than the trailers have made it look so far, otherwise I wouldn’t be surprised at all if this one fails.

Even if the long gestating film is a dud, Marvel has a lot more coming, and is beginning to really branch out from its current core characters. Back in November, barely a month after DC and Warner Bros announced their own onslaught of superhero movies, Marvel stepped out and reminded everyone that they are not going to be messed with. In one big presentation, they unveiled the eight movies which will make up Phase Three, combining a mixture of sequels and new characters that will see the series through until 2020. This all kicks off next year with Captain America: Civil War, which sees the Cap square off against Iron Man in an adaptation of one of the biggest comic book storylines ever.

The new blood includes Doctor Strange, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Black Panther with 42 star Chadwick Boseman, with Andy Serkis likely to reprise his Ultron cameo, Captain Marvel, Marvel’s first female superhero movie, and Inhumans, which has been teased in the current season of Agents of SHIELD. No movies for Hawkeye, Black Widow or The Hulk, but Thor gets a sequel in Ragnarok , which was teased in a poorly cut down sub plot in Ultron, while the Guardians of the Galaxy will get their second turn as well. Both films will likely have huge roles to play in setting up the two part-last hurrah Avengers: Infinity Wars, which will finally see Thanos get off his floating chair and do something, as well as likely phasing out Robert Downey Jr and Chris’ Hemsworth and Evans.

The biggest change to happen in Phase Three is, of course, the revelation Spider Man will finally join his comic book allies on the big screen. Marvel sold the rights for Peter Parker and co. to Sony in the nineties, allowing the studio to get a gain in the early stages of the superhero movie boom with the Tobey Maguireled trilogy. However, after the attempted reboot flopped at the box office and was savaged by critics, Sony has agreed to work alongside Marvel on a new new reboot which will see Peter Parker appear in Civil War before getting his own film in 2017. While the idea of a third Peter Parker on screens in less than a decade doesn’t fill me with joy, I am excited to see what the character will bring interacting in the wider MCU, especially seeing a teenager interacting with these much older characters.

The biggest change to happen in Phase Three is, of course, the revelation Spider Man will finally join his comic book allies on the big screen.

On the TV side, Agents of SHIELD, Agent Carter and Daredevil are all coming back, with the latter set to be joined by Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist on Netflix, with the four eventually coming together for The Defenders. John Ridley, the Academy Award winning writer of 12 Years a Slave, is said to be planning

a new series with Marvel/ABC, most likely to be based around Pakistani-American superhero Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel, though no official confirmation yet. A spin-off from SHIELD has reportedly been put on hold, likely cause that’s a terrible idea.

So, for the rest of the decade, Marvel intends to continue dominating pop culture. Back when these movies were first announced, I was ready to basically hand the company my wallet, I was so excited for what was to come. Now, I am approaching these movies with cautious optimism. Winter Soldier, Guardians, Agent Carter and Daredevil were all excellent in their own special ways, but there’s no denying how basic the rest of Phase Two was.

These problems were highlighted by Ultron, which did a flimsy job of integrating the wider universe, and that really is the appeal of these movies.

There are some bright spots on the horizon. As much as I love Whedon, you can tell from interviews how over he is with Marvel, and it kinda shows in Ultron. I’m glad he is stepping aside, and the directing and writing team behind Winter Soldier will guide the rest of Phase Three. These movies are fun even when at their narrative thinnest, but with the right planning and integration, and the fact Spider Man is back (which seems to have been their goal all along), I am very hopeful that this next batch of movies will be worth the hype.

I mean, they’ve been teasing Thanos for three years now. That’s got to pay off eventually… right?

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GO BANANAS

by Karina Brehmer | Illustration by Tyler Hinde

There seems to be an unfortunate bias against the public consumption of a little-known fruit we call a banana.

Strange that society has chosen to shun the fruit so unfairly that we humans feel uncomfortable to consume it without prior scanning of the vicinity to make sure we are alone and comfortable. And with no looming possibility of eye contact. Why have we chosen to feel shame in the act of eating a healthy snack? It does not look like your dick – well, we all hope it doesn’t, for your sake. I’m sure in some cases eating a French fry may be a little closer to the truth.

But if your little man downstairs is banana yellow, that’s one sure sign you need to get in touch with your doctor.

Quickly. Before it falls off.

But seriously, we don’t need yet another aspect of our lives ruined because you like to see dicks everywhere.

Although I would like to acknowledge the strong-hearted souls that have broken free. Who don’t live to any such regulations of snack eating. Those lion hearts who can bite into a banana; who bypass breaking a piece off and timidly putting it your mouth. They are the real fight for humanity that live among us. Every time I see someone publically able to comfortably enjoy a banana, I applaud them. Not physically of course, but in my mind I’m clapping and nodding my head. Yes you are a leader in this world of fools.

What I’m really trying to get down to is that I think we’ve forgotten the power of the banana. Or maybe we never learned. I’d now like to be the change I wish to see in this world, and engage you on some bantasic facts. That have not necessarily been peer reviewed, or scientifically studied yet, but will hopefully give you some reason to stand up to the mark and, yes, be a little bananas for bananas.

Potassium. We all know bananas (along with their lesser fruit and veggie friends) are a vital and bountiful source of potassium. But do we know why we need it? It is the eighth-ish most common element found in our bodies, so it sounds pretty important to me. Potassium has graced us by maintaining the fluid and electrolyte balance for our bodies. It keeps our brains in good working order. Without enough potassium in your bodily fluids (sometimes this happens with vomiting or diarrhoea), a potentially fatal condition called hypokalaemia can occur. Scary, I know.

Keep a banana at the ready. Potassium also does that thing where it keeps your blood pressure down, reducing stroke risk. Which we healthy students may not worry about yet, but you’re gonna want to be around longer than the 10 years it takes to finish your three year degree aren’t you?

That should be reason enough, but wait there’s more.

Bananas (It’s just such a cool word. Banana.), they help in the stress-related world too. When jobs get stressful, or the next episode on Netflix just won’t play without reloading

the damn page, you can probably guess who you can call on. Bananas are full of vitamin B which calms us down.

And to reduce the risk of ‘panic-induced food cravings’, a healthy high carb snack needs to be consumed on a two-hourly basis. While you’re pushing on through your studious day of hanging out with mates, get an energy boost. Bananas are made up of three sugars: glucose, fructose and sucrose which are combined with fibre (you know why we need fibre- get those bowel actions restored to normal - you’re welcome ).It’s even been proven that that two bananas are sufficient in giving someone enough energy to complete one whole hour and a half of arduous working out. Are you listening gym junkies? Not only can they keep you fit, but by having energy, you are more likely to be able to prevent illness.

I’d now like to be the change I wish to see in this world, and engage you on some bantasic facts.

Bananas also improve mood and alleviate pain for those of us who suffer from PMS. As well as being that friend that helps you out of your depressive states, by promoting serotonin. They relax you, and generally makes you a happier person. I bet not many other fruits can boast such qualities.

The inside of the banana isn’t the only part that’s so generously helpful to us mere mortals. The skin, the part you should never try to eat, is also useful. If ever you haven’t been fast enough in snuffing a mosquito's life, and they have succeeded in an onslaught, use the banana skin to heal your wounds. And eat the banana from the skin you just used so that your brain power can provide you with the means to overcome the enemy next time they choose to attack.

They manage to do all those things along with remedying heartburn, morning sickness, and hangovers. Having five times the vitamin A, four times the protein, three times the phosphorous (I must admit that actually sounds bad for you, but it’s not, apparently), and double the carbohydrates of an apple, the saying should really and appropriately be, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away.’ Bananas really cover all the bases. I may or may not have paraphrased a random internet article, but I hope I have, if nothing else, done enough to be able to have made bananas proud to be bananas. Though, I'll leave you with a decision: to keep living your life as an unbeliever, or to accept the better life of a banana-eating maniac.

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THE GENDER NEUTRAL LABEL

Photographer: Cassi Namkung | Model: Tina Crooks | Styled by: Shivan | by Shivan In recent years the tides have changed, and there has been a blur in the lines of gender identity on the runway. Designers like One DNA and Rad Hourani have taken to the scene with their collection of ‘gender neutral’ labels. Traditional designers that usually hold gender binary within their collection have broken out of their silo’s to present a collection that, again, blurs that line of what is socially acceptable in a menswear and womenswear collection. Designers like Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, and Givenchy moved away from that swaggering macho image to show a men’s collection with more chiffon and lace. These designers also moved away from the romantic style of design in womenswear to a more hard and structured look. Jean Paul Gaultier, the pioneer of androgyny, broke all gender boundaries when he introduced his skirts for men in 1985. His fascination with the human body and bringing out different silhouettes on the runway was the reason why he is known as the ultimate ‘gender bender’.

The emancipation of Queen Elizabeth I was one of the first examples of women freeing themselves from the restraints of society, and feeling empowered. The 1920s was, again, a defining moment when women entered the workforce, and after the Second World War, women started dressing more gender neutral or even swaying to a more masculine aesthetic after the introduction of trousers for women. The 1960s saw another surge in androgyny, but this time for both women and men. The counter culture was in full swing, women’s liberation had gained ground, and fashion was the key indicator of this social movement. Designers like Mr. Fish who dressed the Rolling Stones in a mannish dress, and Yves Saint Laurent who designed women’s tuxedoes, really were the forefront in gender bending during the 60s.

The 70s and 80s introduced a new age of unisex fashion and gender bending. Musicians like David Bowie, Boy George, and Kiss came to the scene with platform shoes, heavy makeup and sometimes wearing clothes with a feminine touch. This really represented gender bending and its acceptance by the public. Annie Lennox’s masculine style of dressing saw females playing a big part in gender bending, the boyish haircut and tailored look was a sign that women were becoming stronger and were seen as an equal gender to men.

Today it’s strange to think that women in pants or a tuxedo as something being ground breaking, but at that time, when gender equality didn’t exist, a woman wearing a tuxedo was the start of this movement toward a gender balance. I still believe it’s a strong statement, even now, when I see women in a tuxedo or suit, especially after knowing the barriers that were broken to get to this stage.

Here are some tips if you would like to make a statement in a suit:

• First you need to make a choice between an oversized suit or a fitted, tailored look.

• Pick a suit based on how it fits your shoulders.

• Ensure to tailor your trouser whilst you are in heels/shoes, as this will ensure the length of the trouser will just be skimming the ground when you walk.

• You have the option to play around will many different colours, patterns, and textiles, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

•

If you are going for an oversized look, I would suggest buying a men’s blazer instead of a women’s oversized blazer to give you a better fit.

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S

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Circle all the words in the wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win this motherflippin’ sweet prize:

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MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

Directed by George Miller Starring Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult

Reviewed by Ethan Sills This movie is mind blowing. Every trailer was a piece of art that increased my excitement for this without having ever been interested in seeing the original three, and the final product did not disappoint. I mean, how can you not love a movie where there’s a character who spends the entire two hours in a harness playing a flame throwing guitar?

For Mad Max virgins like myself, the series takes place in a postapocalyptic wasteland where water and gasoline are scarce, and everyone seems to be completely fucking mental as a result.

This entry sees the titular Max, now played by wonderful, Tom Hardy (since original star Mel Gibson is a little too old and racist to headline this sort of movie now), captured by War Boys working for dictator, Immortan Joe, to be used for blood.

However, when Imperator Furiosa (best character name ever) betrays Joe and kidnaps his wives to free them, Max is brought along as Joe, the War Boys, and their allies chase after Furiosa and her oil rig.

Tom Hardy is the big star, but he has little to do here aside from mumble and look serious, which is disappointing since he’s so very talented. However, Charlize Theron shines as the one-armed Furiosa, and really steals the show. The supporting performances from Nicholas Hoult and a group of models as the wives were fairly stunning as well – who knew the girlfriend from the third Transformers movie was actually a really great actress?

Everything technical here is an achievement: the cars, the effects, the make-up, the costumes, cinematography, music – it’s all so wonderful. There are parts where the plot dragged a bit and they faced a few too many obstacles, but overall the storyline whizzed along in true car chase fashion. Fury Road is simply a masterpiece that outshines the label of blockbuster, and I cannot wait until I have the opportunity to see this again.

However, the small scale and budget of Slow West better serves the simple but enjoyable tale director, John Maclean, is trying to tell.

Love-struck Jay (Kodi Smit-McPhee) has travelled to America from Scotland alone in order to track down his love, Rose, unaware just what dangers he will face. Along the way, a secluded bounty hunter named Silas (Michael Fassbender) force-offers his services to guide Jay, though really wants to use him to get the reward on Rose’s head.

SLOW WEST

Directed by John Maclean Starring Michael Fassbender, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Caren Pistorius

Reviewed by Ethan Sills The Western movie has seen a comeback in recent years, with the Oscar-nominated hits True Grit and There Will Be Blood helping revitalise interest. What was once a big blockbuster genre has become more art house and independent, as superheroes and remakes dominate the box office.

I feel culturally obliged to mention this was filmed in New Zealand: at times, I don’t really buy our picturesque landscapes for colonial America, but it makes for a different landscape that helps define the film’s character. It also feels like a New Zealand movie at times, with a lot of dark humour at inappropriate times, and the beautiful cinematography feels much more lovingly crafted than many American movies.

There isn’t much to rave about here: the movie is only 86 minutes long, and it is a fairly straight forward and relatively predictable storyline. However, Michael Fassbender and Ben Mendhelson, who of course plays the villain, are both wonderful as always, and Slow West is at least beautiful to look at.

If you want a pleasant, not very thought-demanding watch that is better filmed and acted than most blockbusters, this is a perfect movie for a lazy Sunday afternoon. Outside of one scene with an arrow and some Indians, just don’t expect very much from it.

Pitch Perfect 2 follows the Barden Bellas, the same American University acapella group as was featured in the first film. A lot of the old characters are still involved in the plot (Fat Amy, Chloe, that girl who speaks really quietly) and as an audience, we still partially follow the character of Becca as she tries to juggle her commitment to the Bellas, and a blossoming new career in music production. This time around, the Bellas are fighting to attend the acapella world championships following an embarrassing mishap that stripped them of their performing duties.

PITCH PERFECT 2 Directed by Elizabeth Banks Starring Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailee Steinfeld

Reviewed by Amelia Petrovich After watching the film, my initial thought was “hilarious”. Now, after having collected a few opinions about it, my amended thought is “hilarious, but clearly contentious as well.”

I think the humor in Pitch Perfect 2 is spot on. I definitely laughed a whole lot more than I did watching the first film, and really, really enjoyed the movie as a whole despite the song choices being somewhat average. One critique I have heard is that the bulk of the jokes, especially the banter between Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins’ characters as acapella commentators, was risqué to the point of being a bit offensive. Now, with quips like “she should backflip right over the fence to Mexico,” you’d be forgiven for labeling this character duo ‘insensitive’ and ‘crass’ right off the bat. However, I kind of reckon that John and Gail in their cheesy, allAmerican falsity, are more of a parody of Western bigotry than an endorsement of it. The pair even have a laugh about how horrible it all is, telling the Bellas that, “No American team has ever won.

Because they all hate us. The whole word. Hates us.”

So all things considered, my final verdict is that if you enjoyed the first film, the second Pitch Perfect probably won’t disappoint you.

It’s a little bit heartwarming, and a big bit hilarious.

THE MEXICAN CAFE 67 Victoria Street West, Auckland Reviewed by Thorne Williams and Daniel Collings To be completely honest, the restaurant doesn’t look like much from the outside. All you see is a very aged sign slapped on a building, and a single door with a narrow stairway leading up to who knows where. However once you venture up those stairs, it is a complete surprise. The restaurant has an authentic Mexican style with a warming atmosphere to accompany it. It is spacious, screaming in colour, and always packed. We were escorted to our seats, given complimentary corn chips and salsa (spicy but so good), and began the experience.

The menu is extensive and includes a lot of traditional Mexican delicacies. After much consideration, we both went for crispy chicken quesadillas and virgin fruit margaritas. The waitress was very attentive and had our food and drinks to our table after only ten minutes. The quesadillas were very true to their Mexican origin, the flavours were bold and the margaritas had an interesting kick to them. The whole night only came to around 40 dollars which we thought was pretty darn good for what we got. It’s an ideal place for us students to go on date nights, and we most definitely will be visiting again soon.

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FONDUE THREE WAYS Guys, it’s cold outside. And I don’t know about you but when it’s cold outside, I want to drown my sorrows in mountains of comfort food and indoor frolicking. Fondue is, in my humble opinion, one of the best ways to go about fulfilling both of those cold-weather needs, so I figured I’d provide y’all with a few recipes (with the help of my good friend, Rachael Ray).

Use these recipes for date night, dinner party dessert, or on a particularly hard day when you need some solid alone time – we won’t judge. My personal favourite way to enjoy the ‘due is to sit in a circle around the pot with some friends, and every time a piece of food gets dropped into the melty-goodness, the person responsible has to smooch (or adorably peck…whatever you’re into) the lucky dog to their left. So plop yourself down between two hotties, grease up your stick real good (that’s really not an innuendo), and beat the winter blues with these fondues!

PEANUT-BUTTERSCOTCH

CLASSIC CHOCOLATE

• • • • •

½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 cup milk ¼ cup sugar 2 bags semisweet chocolate chips 1 tsp vanilla extract

• • • •

¾ cup whole milk 425g butterscotch candy 1 cup smooth peanut butter 2 tbsp boiling water

SPICY CHEESE

• • • • • •

400g grated parmesan cheese 1 tbsp corn starch 1 cup milk 1 cup chicken broth 1 ½ tbsp finely chopped chipotle chilies 250g cream cheese, cut into chunks

Combine the cocoa powder with ½ cup

Warm the milk over medium heat. Add

water and cook over low heat, stirring

the butterscotch and cook, stirring until

constantly for 1 minute. Stir in the milk

Toss the parmesan and corn starch in a bowl.

smooth (about 10 minutes). Remove from

and sugar and bring to a simmer. Add

Cook the milk, chicken broth, and chilies over

the heat. Whisk in the peanut butter until

the chocolate chips and vanilla and cook,

medium heat until warm. Add the cream

smooth. Stir in the boiling water.

cheese and cook, whisking, until smooth

stirring, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth (about 5 minutes).

To Dip: dried apricots, apple slices, pretzels, marshmallows

(about 5 minutes). Bring to a simmer and To Dip: bacon pieces, apple slices, pretzels,

add the parmesan mixture, a large handful at

marshmallows

a time, stirring until smooth. Cook the sauce over a low heat for five minutes.

To Dip: bacon pieces, small potatoes halved, apple slices, pretzels

Contact AUT Health, Counselling and Wellbeing for your vaccine: City 921 9992 North 921 9998 South 921 9992

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