NEXT WEEK: JEWISH ATLANTA'S 18 UNDER 18
VOL. XCIII NO. 28
JULY 20, 2018 | 8TH OF AV 5778
Jewish Love Name that Couple... PAGES 14-15
SEEKING SOMEONE SPECIAL? CHECK OUT OUR PERSONAL ADS. JEWISH LOVE, PAGES 17-19
CHAI STYLE HOMES ISRAEL STRIKES BACK HILLARY & CB MILES WELCOME US INTO THEIR MODERN BUCKHEAD CONDO. ARTS, PAGES 24-26
AMIDST ROCKET FIRE, GAZA IS NOT THE ONLY BORDER OF CONCERN. ISRAEL NEWS, PAGE 8
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Our Love Lives Love is a many splendored thing / It’s the April rose that only grows in the early spring / Love is nature’s way of giving a reason to be living / The golden crown that makes a man a king. Perhaps some of the long-time Atlanta couples we’ve interviewed for our Jewish love and singles issue would agree with some of the above lyrics from the popular 1955 romantic song and film. What makes love and marriage work? We asked powerhouse couples in the rabbinate and other movers and shakers in our community their secret, half of whom have been married more than 60 years and a few close to 70 years. The common threads are humor, compromise and respect. Read what they shared with us in the following pages. We also hear from a husband-wife marriage counseling team how to navigate the ebb and flow of our relationships, to understand the love that propels and the fear that hinders. Because sometimes love is a battlefield. From young romance to love, inclusion and pride in the Jewish LGBTQ+ community, you’ll find it here. We’ve got profiles of a single man and a single
woman we think are each quite a catch along with our free personal classifieds for singles looking for the perfect companion. Our editorial supervisor shares how she met her husband through such an ad 24 years ago. While love is not all that makes our community go ‘round, it almost always has something to do with it. Take our story about a local dentist that gives Holocaust survivors something to smile about – free dental work. We also take a look at what inspired Holocaust survivor Eugen Schoenfeld’s new photography exhibit at the Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta. In more spiritual matters, one of our former Atlanta rabbis living in Israel, history-guru David Geffen, shares what the upcoming holiday of Tisha B’av was like in Jerusalem in the 19th century. We say l'htraot to Rabbi Harvey Winokur of Temple Kehillat Chaim, who is retiring, and get to know the shul’s new spiritual leader, Rabbi Jason Holtz. Read about their serendipitous connection. Also, check out our new 'Keeping It Kosher' section with news from Atlanta Kashrut Commission and an oatmeal cookie recipe from Ali’s Cookies based on popular demand from its customers. You can read in our Israel News sec-
THIS WEEK tion about the recent bombings in the Gaza Strip, or learn how how Israelis and their technology helped with the cave rescue in Thailand. From Israel to your own home, we hope you find the love that exists in our Jewish community. It’s a many splendored thing. ■
CONTENTS LOCAL NEWS �������������������������4 BUSINESS �������������������������������6 ISRAEL NEWS ������������������������7 OPINION ������������������������������� 10 JEWISH LOVE ��������������������� 14 ARTS �������������������������������������� 22 CHAI STYLE HOMES �������� 24 SPOTLIGHT ������������������������� 27 KEEPING IT KOSHER �������� 28 BRAIN FOOD ����������������������� 29 CALENDAR �������������������������� 30 OBITUARIES ������������������������ 32 MARKETPLACE ������������������ 34 CLOSING THOUGHTS ������� 35
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LOCAL NEWS Temple Kehillat Chaim Welcomes New Rabbi By Sarah Moosazadeh email@example.com Rabbi Jason Holtz doesn’t recall practicing Judaism at a young age. But after joining his high school’s youth group, he changed his mind. That experience led him to build relationships and ultimately become Temple Kehillat Chaim’s new rabbi. Holtz is taking over from Rabbi Harvey Winokur, who founded and served at TKC for the past 42 years. Winokur has assumed emeritus status. Originally from Daytona Beach, Fla., Holtz grew up in a very small Jewish community. His parents raised him to be Jewish at Temple Beth El, where he attended Sunday school, yet he never felt it was his choice until he joined the youth group. His best friend joined it, and although Holtz was initially hesitant, he decided to give it a try. Holtz didn’t choose to become a rabbi right then, he said, but the experience shaped his ideology toward Judaism. After high school Holtz attended Syracuse
4 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
University, where he majored in international studies with a double major in philosophy. Part of what brought Holtz back to Judaism, he said, was the religion itself. “I just loved being Jewish, and for me, the first time that occurred was being part of my high school’s youth group. … I felt like I was discovering Judaism for the first time as a teenager and looking through a more mature lens. I thought, this is something I want to learn more about. But I think what really made me want to become a rabbi is definitely the relationships,” Holtz said. While in college Holtz went on Birthright and enrolled in Judaic studies and rabbinic literature. He also studied abroad at Tel Aviv University in Jerusalem during the second Intifada. Upon graduation, Holtz attended rabbinical school at the Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem and Cincinnati. Taking his first pulpit in 2010, he lived in Tucson, Ariz., where he served as the assistant rabbi at Temple Emanu-El
Rabbi Jason Holtz is excited to meet everyone in the community at Temple Kehillat Chaim.
Emeritus Rabbi Harvey Winokur (left) passes a Czech Torah scroll that survived the Holocaust to Rabbi Jason Holtz.
for three years. He recalled fond memories of his time there. “I was fresh out of rabbinic school and excited to do my job, which gave me a lot of opportunities to meet people, to teach and to try things I had learned about in the classroom,” he said. In 2013, Holtz resettled in London to become the rabbi at Bromley Reform Synagogue. He recounted the similarities and differences between European and American Jewry. “People always asked me how it was driving on the left side of the road and I would reply that I got that pretty quick. It’s lifting the Torah scroll and the reading (which was heavily influenced by Sephardic customs) that threw me off. But it also allowed me to understand that different places have different ways of doing things and understanding that it is not wrong, but a part of the beautiful diversity and tapestry of the Jewish community that is out there,” Holtz said. After living in London for five years, Holtz with his wife, Jodi, and 17-month old son, Asher, were ready to move back to America. Holtz was already familiar with the Roswell synagogue after Winokur reached out to him in London about Torah scrolls that belonged to a Czech synagogue before the Holocaust. TKC and Holtz’s synagogue both were trying to acquire the scrolls that had ended up in London. Holtz was eventually added to TKC’s Facebook page, which also is how he discovered the rabbinical opportunity. And on July 6, the rare scrolls were passed from Winokur to Holtz in a symbolic ceremony. A formal installation will take place in the fall. About assuming Winokur’s posi-
tion, Holtz said, “I am not just following a rabbi, I am following the founder of the temple. … For me this is humbling, and I feel grateful and honored for the trust that has been placed in me,” he said. Winokur, who is emeritus rabbi, said in a statement, “I would urge Holtz to find the way to honor the past while putting his imprint on a pathway to a future.” As Holtz looks to that future, he hopes to make the most of learning opportunities for people and to build connections. “I want to create opportunities for people to meet one another and to get to know people in the community and their congregation…I really do see this as more than just a temple; I see it as a community, which is what kehillat means,” he said. Yet as Holtz shoulders his new position, he also realizes there will be challenges along the way. “We live in a time where people don’t automatically choose to join a temple or even be Jewish despite what their family history might be. It’s always a choice for people and some people can’t count on this and say, ‘I have to really work for it,’ but I actually see it as more of an opportunity that we get to teach the relevance of Torah, which is what we are here for anyway,” Holtz said. Holtz said one of his first goals is to get to know everyone in the community. “I am not coming here with some agenda to make them into something that they are not or somewhere that they don’t want to go. So right now, I am shaking a lot of hands, meeting and talking to a lot of people. I want to get to know what their hopes and dreams are, what their vision is for the future, and see what we can make happen,” he said. ■
Young Israel Wins OU Grant
Renee Kutner, Rachel Anisfeld, Miriam Udel, Ilana Weissmark, Deborah Wenger, Rivka Monheit, Meena Viswanath, Chanie Steinberg, Rebecca Winter and Talya Gorsetman participate in Purim festivities at Young Israel of Toco Hills.
By Sarah Moosazadeh firstname.lastname@example.org Young Israel of Toco Hills has been awarded $5,000 by the Orthodox Union’s Women’s Initiative Challenge Grant to create the Women’s Seder Avodat Yamim Noraim. The project, which aims to create an environment where women can spiritually and intellectually prepare themselves for Yamim Noraim (Days of Awe/High Holidays), was selected out of 93 applicants. It is one of 16 projects chosen for the OU investment. Each of the applicants were evaluated based on the creativity of the program, target audience and if the project could be reused in other communities. Because the annual Man Seder was successful, the synagogue sought to recreate a social atmosphere with food and drinks to help attract women from different ages and religious observances across the community to engage in learning before the High Holidays. The program will consist of three segments, including: Teshuva, Tefilla and Tzedakah. Teshuva involves experimental and text-based learning with sessions run by speakers and facilitators from across the country. Tefilla will bring the women together in song to end the program. Tzedakah will include a raffle fundraiser, the
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proceeds of which will be donated to a women’s organization. The initiative was the brainchild of Rabbi Adam Starr and Tova Warburg Sinensky, the synagogue’s new yoetzet halacha, women's adviser on Jewish law. “Rabbi Adam Starr and I have partnered to create an evening that touches on the social, emotional and intellectual realms to help the women in the YITH community prepare for one of the most important parts of the Jewish year, one which is often not fully tapped by us as women,” Sinensky said. “We hope that this program will function as an inspiring and uplifting evening in its own right, and that the participants will develop tangible ways in which they can bring their learning and inspiration into their families and into the shul community.” The program will launch next year in preparation for the high holiday season and targets female community members in their 30s through 50s who work outside the home, which can create a challenge when trying to balance homework and religious life. Starr added, “I think the recognition from the OU shows that we are doing important work and creating creative opportunities for women to further engage in synagogue life and their spiritual life.”
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JF&CS Names New Chief Development Officer
Gabrielle Stearns is the new chief development officer of Jewish Family & Career Services. She brings to JF&CS a dedicated career of driving philanthropic dollars to organizations that improve the health and Gabrielle Stearns, the new JF&CS quality of life of those most in need, the chief development officer. nonprofit agency stated. “I am proud to serve JF&CS and [its] vital work to empower and improve the lives of so many in the Atlanta community,” she said. Stearns brings 12 years of principal and major gift experience to JF&CS. She began her career as a major gift officer raising funds for pediatric oncology child life programs at the University of Chicago. She continued her efforts to address the needs of the most vulnerable at New York University Langone Medical Center, where she partnered with philanthropic leaders and members of the board to support child life programs. In 2013, Stearns served at Emory Woodruff Health Sciences, raising funds for JScreen and the Jane Fonda Center, among other notable programs, JF&CS reported. Stearns was attracted to JF&CS because of its compassionate care and service of individuals and families. She looks forward to helping JF&CS expand funding sources to reach more families and help them continue their journeys toward a better quality of life and increased self-sufficiency. “Gabie brings to JF&CS experience in resource development, management, stewardship, annual giving, planned giving and endowments. Her expertise will enable JF&CS to generate the resources needed to support its mission and its continued growth and impact,” said JF&CS CEO Rick Aranson. ■
ISRAEL PRIDE News From Our Jewish Home
The inner gate floor where King David entered to court his bride.
Where King David Courted Future Bride
Israeli archaeologists discovered an artifact at the Bethsaida dig site that may pinpoint where King David entered the biblical-era city of Tzer to court future bride Maachah. Archaelogists announced the find dating back to the 10th century B.C.E. as the 2018 season of the Bethsaida Excavation Project ended. “It is the largest and the best-preserved city gate” in Israel, excavation director Rami Arav told The Times of Israel. This year’s excavation provides proof that Bethsaida, an Aramean settlement, houses one of the earliest towers incorporated in city walls in Israel, Arav said. “In the entire archaeology of the
Land of Israel from the 10th to 8th century B.C.E., there are no towers on city walls. Israelites did not have this feature. This is the first example of towers surrounding a city in Israel,” he said. Located north of the Sea of Galilee, Bethsaida is best known as the site where Jesus performed the miracle of the loaves and the fishes. The nearly 10-foot gate now symbolizes the royal love story between Maachah and David and the intriging biblical drama that followed. Their son, King Absalom, is believed to have escaped to his mother’s ancestral kingdom, Geshur, after murdering his half-brother, Amnon. Family ties were restored, though, when Absalom’s daughter married Solomon’s son Rehoboam, king of Judah. Solomon also was David’s son.
Netanyahu and NASA
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met with NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine July 12 at the prime minister’s office in Jerusalem. Science and Technology Minister Ofir Akunis also attended the meeting.
Photo by Amos Ben-Gershom (GPO News)
Benjamin Netanyahu met with NASA administrator Jim Bridenstine.
Prime Minister Netanyahu thanked Bridenstine for choosing Israel as a destination on his first visit abroad since assuming office in April. The prime minister also expressed interest in deepening relations between NASA and Israel. An Israeli space exploration company, SpaceIL, recently announced it would send the country’s first unmanned space mission to the moon.
the West African Power Pool by signing a deal with the 15-nation Economic Community of West African States to build $1 billion of renewable energy projects in the region. The deal builds on an agreement by the U.S. and Israel on Dec. 4, 2017, to reduce energy poverty in Africa. The goal is to create a regional electricity system, develop 800 megawatts of transboundary green energy projects across the West African region, and strengthen ties between Israel and Africa. “Just as Israel helped agriculture in Africa in the ‘60s, it can now help every realm of life in the beginning of the 21st century,” said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
$1 Billion Renewable Energy Projects in Africa
Israeli solar power developer Gigawatt Global is bringing renewable energy to Africa. The company entered into a landmark strategic relationship with
Israeli solar power field in West Africa.
Today in Israeli History
July 20, 1949: Israel’s War of Independence ends in 1949 with the signing of armistice agreements between the newly established Jewish state and four Arab states. Separate agreements are signed with each state. July 21, 1948: The U.S. rejects a U.N. request that U.S. Marines be temporarily stationed in Jerusalem to support an Israeli-Arab military truce agreement. The U.S. continues its policy of supporting diplomacy in the region, while maintaining politically strategic, military distance. July 22, 1946: Members of the Irgun, a Jewish military organization that is absorbed into the IDF during the 1948 war, bomb the British administrative headquarters in Palestine, based in the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. 28 Brits, 41 Arabs, and 17 Jews are killed. July 23, 1984: When neither party receives a majority of the votes in the 11th Israeli Knesset elections, the Labor and Likud parties form a coalition government. July 24, 1920: Bella Abzug is born in the Bronx, N.Y., to an Orthodox Jewish immigrant family from Russia. Elected in
Mayor Ed Koch of New York, Congresswoman Bella Abzug (Dem-NY) and President Jimmy Carter during a meeting in 1978.
1970, she serves three terms in Congress and is the first Jewish woman to be elected to the House of Representatives. July 25, 1973: Competitive swimmer Keren Leibovitch is born in Hod HaSharon, near Tel Aviv. Considered Israel’s greatest paralympian, Leibovitch wins four gold medals, two silver medals, and a bronze medal in paralympic swimming competitions in 2000 and 2004. July 26, 1967: Penned by Yigal Allon, the Allon Plan is a strategic proposal for Israel’s retention of the Jordan Valley in the West Bank. It includes a series of Jewish settlements and military installations to act as buffers against potential Arab attacks from the east. Items provided by the Center for Israel Education (www.israeled.org), where you can find more details. ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 7
ISRAEL NEWS Israel Strikes Back
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Israeli Air Force strikes back at Hamas rockets in the largest wave of strikes in Gaza Strip in four years. (IDF/Twitter)
In what is being called the worst daytime strike in Gaza since Operation Protective Edge in 2014, volleys A volley of traded between Israelis and Palesrockets fired from tinians on Saturday, Shabbat, killed the Gaza Strip two and injured 14 Palestinians and intercepted by the three Israelis, and damaged an empIron Dome system near the Israeli ty synagogue. town of Beersheba, Starting Friday night, PalestinNovember 15, 2012. ians fired more than 200 rockets on (photo credit: Uri Israel, many of which were interLenzl/Flash90) cepted by the Iron Dome anti-missile defense system. The Israeli Air Force re- tolerated.” turned fire, hitting more 40 targets in the Since March, Hamas has been terrorizGaza Strip, including two terror tunnels, ing Israel with weekly violent riots, incentwo large logistic centers and a Hamas bat- diary kites and balloons and rockets. The talion headquarters in Beit Lahia in north- riots at the security fence have increasingly ern Gaza. become more violent. Before the attacks, the IDF warned ciWriting from Israel, Rabbi David Gefvilians in the Strip to stay away from the fen, an AJT columnist and former Atlantan, areas they knew terror activity was taking asked a Knesset member and an executive place. After the barrage Friday night, they with an Israel activist organization what were told they could return to their usual they thought of the situation. Both agreed routines, but the warning was reiterated af- that Netanyahu didn’t want war. “Nothing ter further attacks Saturday, and they were would be gained; just young men and womtold to remain close to bomb shelters. Large en killed,” the Knesset member said. gatherings of people were cancelled. The executive agreed. “Netanyahu was In a release from the Government not prepared to win and take over Gaza. Press Office Sunday, Prime Minister Benja- Plus, elections are soon. Deaths could hurt min Netanyahu stated: “Over the Sabbath, him.” we hit Hamas in a significant way and Geffen’s own take on the matter was hard. Our policy is clear: Whoever hurts us, that “people who live near where the balwe will hit them with great strength. This loons are falling and burning up their crops is what we did yesterday. The IDF dealt would be most happy if Israel bombed Hamas the hardest blow since Operation Hamas into oblivion. The rest of the counProtective Edge. I hope that they got the try, whoever they may be, are afraid of war message; if not, they will get it later.” to start because… they would be fighting Echoing Netanyahu’s stance was Ju- and dying.” dith Varnai Shorer, Consul General of IsraGaza is not the only border of concern, el to the Southeast in Atlanta. “We will not Geffen said. Syrian refugees lined up at the accept any attacks against us and we will countries’ border Tuesday, asking to be adrespond appropriately. Currently there is mitted. a ceasefire agreed by the two sides, coordiIn his release, Netanyahu said he nated by Egypt. We expect it to hold. Israel spoke with U.S. President Donald Trump said and repeats: Any breaking of the terms Saturday about “security and diplomatic isof the agreement which could hurt the sov- sues in light of developments in the region,” ereignty of Israel and civilians will not be specifically about Syria and Iran. ■
Israel Participates in Thai Rescue to help free the trapped team. Israel’s Ambassador to Thailand Meir Shlomo presented the Navy’s plan to the Thai governor and the lead diver in charge of the rescue. Other former Israelis who live in Thailand were also involved in the operation, the Times of Israel reported. Towards the end of the operation, tech entrepreneur Elon Musk sent engi-
neers from two of his companies to attempt a rescue. The engineers were from space exploration firm SpaceX, which is involved in Israel’s first moon launch, and engineering firm The Boring Company, which develops tunneling systems for transportation projects. In a controversial move, Musk also visited the cave and brought a mini submarine that was criticized for not being practical for the rescue. Musk left the kid-sized sub there in case it was needed.
Israel's Maxtech Network handheld radios were used for the rescue.
Two Israeli tech companies, Israel’s Navy and several Israeli divers were part of the rescue of 12 members of a youth soccer team and their coach, trapped in a flooded cave in Thailand for more than two weeks. The last of the team were rescued July 10 after the caves they were exploring June 23 became submerged in rainwater floods. The two companies that lent their wireless communication devices and expertise to the international rescue operations were Maxtech Networks, which
makes emergency communication devices, and Radwin, which provides point-topoint broadband wireless solutions. Maxtech’s technology helped rescuers and others maintain communication with the trapped boys. Radwin’s technology helped establish a wireless network at the scene to help with the coordination of rescue operations, including Navy Seal special forces, rescuers from around the world, and news teams covering the event. During the rescue operations, Israel’s Navy proposed a solution to Thailand
Thai Navy SEALs attempting rescue, one of whom, Samarn Kunan, died after running out of oxygen under water.
ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 9
OPINION America as an Idea Much of the Jewish community was forced into exile almost 2,000 years ago. The reception of our people must have been varied from region to region. But we know that eventually the hatred of Jews in other countries caused the killing of Jews by the thousands and then by the millions. Our own experience has hopefully taught the world how to better deal with people looking for a decent place to live and build a family. The current administration has learned no lessons. The separation of children from their parents continues – the estimate is now almost 3,000 children. The top officials of the administration seem intent on simply discouraging immigration into this country, a country made up almost entirely of immigrants and their descendants. The effects of separation of children from their parents, especially under the circumstances of immediate and surprise separation, will have lasting effects on these children and on the societies where they will live. These children are in extreme distress and desperation. According to a pediatric expert, the stress will affect the hormonal system that will, in many cases, lead to long-term health issues such as heart disease, obesity, organ stress and suicidal tendencies. Progress that toddlers and other children made in personal hygiene, speech, friend-acquisition and other characteristics will be stunted or be reversed. Moreover, in many of the facilities, there are now reports of disease and neglect. The minders at the facilities say that they are not permitted to hold babies and young children. Communicable diseases are spreading among the imprisoned. The pace at which reunion is taking place is excruciatingly slow, even with court orders to unify families quickly. The administration is also now creating a denaturalization force of lawyers and investigators to check on whether citizens should be stripped of their citizenship and thrown out of the country. The U.S. has, on occasion, stripped citizenship from naturalized individuals, but the usual case is a former Nazi war criminal who lied about his origin. The administration is using this occasional and draconian weapon in a highly public way to throw up another obstacle to people even considering immigration to the United States. The American people should wake up to 10 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
what this administration is doing. This has very little to do with national security. America is being turned into a scared, frightful, inhospitable backwater. The economic energy, the richness of culture and arts, the building of institutions and companies made by immigrants has made the United States the greatest nation on earth. The United States has led an era of relative peace because of the type of country that it has become in the last 75 years. We saved the world from scourges of fascism, of
Guest Column By Harold Kirtz
authoritarian communism, of economic ruin following the Great Depression and two World Wars, only to find ourselves with a leader most comfortable with authoritarian rulers, such as Putin, Erdogan and Duterte. The issue of immigration has certainly animated the body politic and is not an easy issue to resolve. Some people wish to stop immigration altogether, while others desire a more liberal immigration policy. But America itself has become an idea. Even when we have had difficulty accepting immigrants, the country has been flexible enough to assimilate all immigrants into the body politic. Almost all of us or our ancestors came to America from somewhere else. Often, we were driven by political or social unrest, or economic dislocation, or simply to find a better life or better opportunity. Others of us were dragged here in chains. But everyone has attempted to create a better place here for themselves and their children. This is the same circumstance that has brought most of the current immigrants to America – the idea of America. We have created such a phenomenal brand that many want to join us. Granted, there are those who are coming as drug runners or human traffickers; we must deal with those with appropriate law enforcement mechanisms. But we must get better at distinguishing the criminal element from those seeking a better life – and get back to being a welcoming society. ■ Harold Kirtz is president of Jewish Community Relations Council of Atlanta.
OPINION Publisher's Note
Take Five Minutes and Help Your Newspaper The summer is half over; how quickly time flies. I hope you have noticed some changes to our community’s paper during these hot and humid months. We have moved a few sections around; the layout is more eye-catching; the front cover is less newspaper-like and is meant to pique your interest. We are experimenting with new articles such as “The Lowdown,” just to name a few of the enhancements thus far. We need your assistance. We need to know what you like, what you don’t like and any new ideas you have to make our paper more engaging, insightful and interesting. Over the Michael next few weeks, please take an extra five minutes and drop us Morris a note. In addition to the paper, we are constantly updating our website for ease of use, quick reference to articles of importance, and availability of more content than can fit on the pages of the weekly paper. If you are an online user, you can help us in a variety of ways. First, send us an email. Let us know what changes you like and don’t like, tell us your preferences for content. Let us know if you discover any bugs. In addition, help us reach the unaffiliated. “Like” our Facebook page and share articles that you find interesting. By doing so, you will become an ambassador and ensure the continuity of the AJT into the next generation. The only constant in business is change. Our mission statement and core strategy have not changed, but in our delivery, we must remain informative, engaging and insightful to stay competitive and relevant. As we make changes and add columns, we will rely on your feedback to guide us. Everyone reading this column has valuable input for us. I would be remiss if I did not end with offering another way you can help. A $65 subscription demonstrates to the community your commitment in keeping this venerable 92-year-old institution alive. I promise, your subscription will indeed help to safeguard its survival. Contact Michael Morris at michael@ATLJewishTimes.com or Kaylene Ladinsky at kaylene@ATLJewishTimes.com with comments and ideas.
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REFLECTIONS The ‘Fall of Zion’ in 19th Century Israel Tisha B’av has always been the “figment of my imagination” fast day. I have observed Tisha B’av in so many places that I could never recall them all. I dressed in white, black and brown, depending where I was, once even fasting on a canoe trip. I helped my campers build the Temple, and then my friend’s campers burned it to the ground. To be sure, Tisha B’av has had it tough, occurring in the summer when many of us are on vacation. The heat can turn one’s fast into an ordeal. However, a half century ago, my wife, Rita, and I fasted here in Jerusalem and peered from the roof of David’s Tomb at where the Kotel was supposed to be. I felt that Tisha B’av, in spite of the number of Jews who observed it, was one of the moments in the Jewish year that kept us focused on returning to our land. Tisha B’av was no longer a figment of my imagination. It provided, annually, a poignancy in time that lifted us from the ruins of the past and deposited us in a new Israel. Growing up 7,000 miles away, I knew being at the Kotel for the fast day was an experience in itself. Since our family made aliyah in August 1977, I have been at the Kotel for Tisha B’av. Guess I was expecting too much; I was never moved by Tisha B’av at that sacred space. Turned out my search was for someone to describe the experience at the Kotel for me. Took a long time to find, finally in the pages of The Jewish Chronicle in 1902. Isaiah Raffalovich, the author and a committed Zionist, returned to Eretz Yisrael, his home, in the 1890s, making sure to arrive on the eve of Tisha B’av, thereby carrying with him to the Western Wall that night the memories of the past and the hopes for the present. Raffalovich, born in Eastern Europe in 1870, was brought to Jerusalem in 1882, when his parents made aliyah. In 1898 he published his most famous book, “Views from Palestine and its Jewish Colonies,” which was an album of his own photographs. Returning to Europe in 1901, he was ordained as a rabbi. From 1904, for the next two decades, he served as a spiritual leader in England. Fulfilling his dreams, he moved back to Israel in the '30s and died here in 1956. Never having arrived in Israel by boat, it was enriching to see his view 12 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
back then: “The steamer entered the harbor of Jaffa. The picturesqueness of the little town, looming out between the orange and lemon groves, with its white flat-roofed rows of houses, was quite enchanting. “I was carried away to the time when on this day the country was overrun by the Roman legions landing at this very place, intent to shatter the bulwarks of the Jewish defense and to crush
Guest Column By Rabbi David Geffen
the independence of Judah, sending my brethren fleeing before them, taking shelter in the caves and in clefts of the rocks.” Having watched two cousins return alive from the hell of the Holocaust to walk erect again, I could understand exactly the meaning of Raffalovich’s words: “I felt a sudden change come over me; the blood rushed quicker through my veins, my back bent for centuries in ghettos and Pales, straightened itself and I so desired to replant them on the beautiful but desolate spot before me, our land.” “After disembarking, bargaining and bribing, I succeeded in settling in a carriage of the newly-built railway to Jerusalem.” My wife, Rita, and I took that train ride seven times on the circuitous route around the hills of Judea. Each time we felt the excitement of our return to Jerusalem before 1967 and afterwards, when the Kotel belonged to the Jewish people again. As he traveled on the train almost 120 years ago, Raffalovich knew, with all his heart, that he “was bound to join in the evening of the mourning of the fall of Zion” at that actual site. “The view of the Sharon and the mountains of Judea … recalled olden times when the brave zealots, besieged by Titus, defended heroically their ancient City, and fought bitterly for their treasure, the Temple of God. “Jerusalem! The goal of my journey. I am at last in the place for which all Israel has yearned these last eighteen hundred years. The City seemed to be clad in deep mourning.” Remembering a walk from the Jaffa Gate once on a Tisha B’av, the sadness there reverberated from the walls sur-
U.S. Library of Congress
The Western Wall in 1898 with some stones containing writings in Hebrew, believed to be the work of visitors who wanted to commemorate their names upon the wall.
rounding me with each step I took. However, Raffalovich was able to draw a moving contrast: “The sun in the West looked like a fiery ball, and the minarets and the steeples of the many churches were streaked with gold. The effect was marvelous. It seemed as if the whole of Jerusalem was wrapped up in flames, and it forcibly reminded one of the time when on this very evening the City was illumined by the flames of its burning Temple.” Yes, but the Romans, who put the city to the torch, have disappeared, and we are here. He wrote: “When I reached the Jewish quarter the inhabitants, barefooted and in tatters, were hurrying to the Western Wall, there to pour out their hearts in prayer and supplication. The paved little space before the wall was crowded with men, women and children.” That sight has been presented in various photographs, but when you hear a fellow Jew describe the scene, it is, oh, so different: “… Moroccan Jews, squatting by the wall, responded in tones difficult to describe, to the lamentations read by the Chacham, now and then raising their hands pathetically heavenwards. At the other end a group of calm Sephardim were singing the same verses to their own tune. Just in the middle, and nearer to the wall, hundreds of Ashkenazim rent the air with their cries. “In front of me stood the ancient monument, as eternal testimony of
former greatness. Nine rows of huge and gigantic stones is all that is left of Israel’s glory.” How fortunate am I to stand at the Kotel triple the size. “The crowd became denser, and the weeping and wailing, deafening ... sobs and lamentations broke out afresh.” I also wept. I wept bitterly. I wept not only for the destruction of the city but also for Am Yisrael. Raffalovich was resolute: “recognize that after eighteen centuries of wailing and lamenting, ...rise and do something for the regaining of the old greatness.” On this Tisha B’av, 41 years since our aliyah, our family has done its share to as Raffalovich put in, “regain the old greatness of our country.” “Midnight, a new group came to mourn at the sacred spot from whence the Divine Presence has never departed. I remembered the legend that at this hour foxes are seen to walk about the place ... no foxes except in the form of Arabs apparently greatly enjoying the ‘fantasia’ --mocking and laughing at the poor ‘Yahud,’ who thinks to retake their country.” Thankfully we can say: “Our country is retaken!” A believer back then, Raffalovich still experienced the sadness Tisha B’Av evoked, but he believed that Am Yisrael-Eretz Yisrael restored was sewn deeply in the fabric of the day, merely waiting to be called forth. ■ This column is in honor of our grandson, Daniel Geffen, who is graduating high school in Ramat HaSharon.
Roni and Ian Robbins were married after meeting through an AJT personal ad placed in 1992.
Proof, Personal Ads Work By Roni Robbins firstname.lastname@example.org It was before the internet and online dating. Before you could check out a potential date on Facebook and hope he didn’t say he was 30, but actually was 50 with a photoshopped full head of hair and washboard abs. I was working at The Birmingham News in 1992, 27 and single in that miniAtlanta city. You know you’ve exhausted all your options when there’s a room full of guys you’ve already dated at every Jewish singles event. A friend did it first. She put a personal ad in the Atlanta Jewish Times – there was only a print edition then – and had the guy she agreed to meet bring a date along for me. They seemed like decent bring-hometo-mama types. No rapists or ax murderers in the bunch, from what I could tell. So I took a chance and chose my words carefully. I’m a writer, after all: “WANT SOUL-MATE to share the good life. SJF, 27, attractive writer enjoys travel, sightseeing, aerobics, bicycling, dancing, music seeks SJM non-smoker, 27-35 with similar interests.” The ad came with a voicemail option. So just in case I didn’t sell myself well enough in those 25 words, I made my poetic pitch in my sweetest, most appealing New York-turned-Southern voice: “I’m looking for a companion to share the good and bad, who treats me like a woman and not a passing fad. I prefer him tall and strong, around 30 will do. My interests: hiking, nature, fitness, and his should be those too.” The handwritten note on which I wrote that plea and the yellowing clip from a 1992 Jewish Times personal ad join many other memories affixed to a scrapbook from my marriage of 24 years to Ian Robbins. There are also the Jewish Times engagement and wedding announcements. Plus a column I wrote in 1994 about how we met, “Irony and Destiny,” without all the details about the personal ad. I had plenty else to write about our similarities and a
few bits of irony (Our names together spell I-Roni). To recap: We were both from Long Island. His parents met at Rego Park Jewish Center in New York, which I attended often as a child while visiting my grandparents, who were active members. His brother and family live where my father grew up and other relatives of mine lived. But most ironic is that I’m the third person in Ian’s family with a version of the same name. My sister-in-law is a Roni and Ian’s brother is Ronnie. In Ian’s family you are either a Ronnie or you’re married to Roni. You can imagine what family gatherings are like when someone calls our name. Bashert? Two children in college later, Ian and I are officially empty nesters when my 18-year-old daughter leaves for the ninemonth Nativ program in Israel in September. And we’re proof that personal ads work. Little did I know when I placed the ad that after two years of dating long distance between my apartment in Birmingham and his condo in Buckhead, I would work at the Jewish Times as a reporter and 20 years later, as an editor. You might say there’s a bit of irony (there’s that word again) or self-fulfilling prophecy at work here. Or maybe my marriage, and past and present jobs at the Jewish Times were and are bashert. And to think it all started with the words I wrote in the newspaper, words like those I’ve been writing for some 30 years in newspapers, magazines and online media. All carefully chosen this time to reach a desired result. The Jewish Times has brought back the personal ad. But it’s free now. How great is that? I had to pay a small fee for mine, but totally worth it, wouldn’t you say? So if you’re looking for love in all the wrong places and take a chance like I did, I hope you find your intended too. You never know when your soulmate is looking for someone just like you. And if you do find Mr. or Ms. Right, drop us a line. We’d love to hear about it. Maybe your story can be shared in these pages too someday. ■
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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 13
COVER STORY Love: Jewish Style Secrets to a happy marriage
For our Jewish Love and Singles issue, we asked nine very devoted and well-known Atlanta couples to share with us how they met and their secrets for a happy marriage after 30 to 70 years together. Compiling their responses was somewhere between a labor of love and a joyful experience. Every couple readily agreed to be featured and reminisce about their very special courtship and wedding. With almost 500 collective years of marriage between them, these couples met without the benefit of JSwipe, JDate, Facebook, email, or photoshop (shedding off pounds). They met through friends or social gatherings.
the street and washed my face in the snow. Later he convinced me to go for hot chocolate; and the rest is history. Secret to happy marriage ... Sydell: Trust and kindness. Arthur: Having a handsome husband (laughing).
Shirley and Perry Brickman Wedding: Atlanta (The Progressive Club), 1955
Jaffe’s Jewish Jive By Marcia Caller Jaffe email@example.com
The husbands, especially, took the opportunity to wax sentimentally about how they found, wooed, and won the prize – their brides – many of whom were teenagers when they met. At least half of those interviewed have been married 50 to 60 years. Universally they spoke of compromise and respect – always with a sense of humor. Nonagenarian Arthur Harris sent his photo with the tagline “Sydell and Zombie” as he exited the chuppah (wedding canopy) with a somber look. Shirley Reisman recalled her wedding ending on a harried note as the missing photographer was found shicker (intoxicated), passed out in his car, courtesy of the wedding’s open bar. Perry Brickman remembers the day in 1950 the couple met when he was wearing a fake leopard vest at which Shirley poked fun. The message herein is that these couples renew the belief that love "is as perennial as the grass” (Desiderata) if you nurture it a bit with sunlight and kindness.
Shirley and Donald Reisman Wedding: Dublin, GA, 1951 How we met ... Shirley: I was at UGA and Donald was at Emory. He came to Athens to look for girls. Secret to happy marriage ... Shirley: Respect and being close friends. Donald: Give and take.
Sherry and Harry Maziar Wedding: Atlanta (The Progressive Club), 1954
Sydell and Arthur Harris Wedding: The Bronx, NY, 1949 How we met ... Sydell: I was a young girl of 15. Arthur was 16 when a mutual friend introduced us. He chased me down 14 | JULY 13, 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
How we met ... Harry: We both grew up on Lanier Boulevard in Virginia Highland and attended Grady High School. Sherry gave me a 16th birthday party and I took Sherry to her confirmation dance. High school sweethearts that lasted. Secret to happy marriage ... Harry: It’s not rocket science… it’s much more complicated than that! It’s about respecting, liking, loving and laughing every day. Sherry: Compromise with a smile… kindness, appreciation and love.
How we met ... Perry: In 1950, when Emory was not “coed,” I was at an AEPi fraternity tag football game when I spotted Shirley, the sweetheart of the high school boy’s youth group, who was known as the “belle of the ball,” and I was intimidated. Face-to-face, I was speechless. She wasn’t. “Where did you get that vest?” she asked. Actually, it was a fake leopard vest my mother had selected for my college wardrobe. “My uncle got it on a recent safari to Africa,” I replied. Divine intervention had taken over: 63 years ago we exchanged vows. Secret to happy marriage ... Shirley: The secret to a happy marriage is always putting the other one first.
Esther and Michael Levine Wedding: Columbus, GA, 1962 How we met ... Esther: We both attended a wedding in Worcester, Mass., where Mike had introduced the bride and groom to each other. I knew the groom and was attending Brandeis University. A cousin made sure we were sitting next to each other at dinner. Mike was captivated by my smile, charming Southern ways and my cleavage (laughing). I was attracted to his good looks, intellect and enthusiasm for exploring and learning new things. We were married less than a year later. Secret to happy marriage ... Mike: Choosing well! We have grown together as
COVER STORY we discovered and developed new interests together as the decades have gone by. Esther: The secret to a happy marriage is respect, friendship and compromise, with some sex mixed in.
Celebrity Thoughts on Jewish Love and Marriage “Why does a woman work 10 years to change a man’s habits, then complain that he’s not the man she married?” –Barbra Streisand “If you want to read about love and marriage, then you better get two books.” –Alan King “Our sages record that a father should spend below his means on food, up to his means on dress, and beyond his means for his wife and children.” – Maimonides “Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love pawn off a part of their narcissism.” –Sigmund Freud
43 Years 53 Years
Barbara and Rabbi Alvin Sugarman Wedding: Jackson, MS, 1965 How we met ... Barbara: On my first visit to Atlanta, we were fixed up on a blind date (12/27/64), by my cousin. After dinner and dancing, midnight coffee, we stayed up all night talking in Shirley’s living room. We both knew that night...and were married 4 ½ months later. Fiftythree years have passed. Still in love, having fun, and feeling very blessed. Secret to happy marriage ... They both agree: Laugh a lot, support and be there for each other. The old adage: Celebrate what matters, forget what doesn’t.
Candy and Steve Berman Wedding: Birmingham, AL, 1975 How we met ... Candy: “I was working at Neiman Marcus (costume jewelry) and another associate(scarves) gave Steve my name and number. Little did I know that he had a list of women to meet. Eventually I got to the top of the list!” Secret to happy marriage ... Candy: Respecting your partner’s independence. Steve: Always talking and communicating.
“You can be lonely even when loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only.” –Anne Frank “Sex without love is a meaningless experience; but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good.” –Woody Allen “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” –Red Skelton “I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.” –Michael J. Fox
Lisa and Sam Olens Wedding: St. Louis, MO, 1985
Drs. Marianne and Steve Garber Wedding: Atlanta, 1972 How we met ... Marianne: I was dating someone else while attending Washington University in St Louis. A family friend said, “You have to meet this guy, Steve, who’s driving up from Tallahassee…” Secret to happy marriage ... Marianne: being great friends, laughing a lot and knowing you can be with the person for the rest of your life. Then you have to make it happen. Steve: Shared interests, doing activities, love laughing together through the ups and downs of life.
How we met ... Sam: Upon Lisa’s graduation from Duke University, she moved in to the apartment above one of my friends at law school. Secret to happy marriage ... Lisa: Don’t sweat the small stuff. It is better to be kind than right. Each partner must be supportive while maintaining their independence. Sharing common values. Sam: Marrying a partner with amazing tolerance and patience. Appreciating that all that can be expected of us is to try our best. ■
ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 15
JEWISH LOVE Spiritual Leaders on Relationships By Sarah Moosazadeh firstname.lastname@example.org Relationships may not always be easy, but what keeps some from falling apart could be shared values, mutual respect and commitment from each partner to work together through difficult times. To learn more about what helps some relationships endure the test of time the AJT spoke with a cross-section of religious leader powerhouse couples: Congregation Or Hadash Rabbis Analia Bortz and Mario Karpuj; Temple EmanuEl Rabbi Spike and Marita Anderson; and Chabad Intown Rabbi Eliyahu and Dena Schusterman. The AJT interviewed each couple to better understand what keeps their relationship strong, how their Judaism plays a role, and what advice they have for young adults just starting their relationships or actively looking for their partner.
Rabbis Analia Bortz and Mario Karpuj believe that mutual values and respect are the keys to keeping their marriage strong.
Loving a Rabbi Bortz first met Karpuj in Buenos Aires after her Jewish high school hosted his. She was 14; he was 15. The couple now have two daughters: Tamar, 27, and Adina, 22, and have managed to keep their relationship strong for almost 29 years. Support for one another is one of many elements Rabbi Bortz said helps keep their relationship strong. “Relationships are based on mutual respect, good communication and the ability to face conflict resolutions. Our relationship’s foundation, which started when we were 14 and 15 years old, is based on shared values and has been strong because our motive in life is to make each other happy,” she said. 16 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
Rabbi Spike and Marita Anderson say it’s important not to step on each other’s toes in a marriage.
Married for 15 years, the Andersons tied the knot when Spike was 30 and Marita was 24. The couple first met in New York City and now live in Sandy Springs with their three children. Marita says communication is part of what keeps her marriage strong. “I think early on we realized and made a commitment to move toward a place where we trusted where the other person is coming from, and to give each other the benefit of the doubt, that whatever is going on, it is coming from a place of goodwill, love and care, and that we each have hard moments,” she said. “It’s a daily dance and we step on each other’s foot, but we just keep on moving.” When Eliyahu and Dena Schusterman formally met as a shidduch, she was 19 and he was 21. Their families were both connected as Chabad families in Crown Heights, Brooklyn and later as shluchim in California. Married for 23 years now, the couple lives in Virginia Highland with their eight kids. “What keeps our relationship strong is hard work, commitment, love, passion, collaboration, having similar values and goals. But all of that aside, we work hard on communicating, sharing and making time for each other,” Dena said. Her husband added, “Relationships are made of two individuals, and when the parties work on something that is bigger than themselves such as marriage, values and children, that’s what keeps a marriage strong.” The Jewish Marriage Each couple expanded on how Judaism plays a role in their relationship. “Judaism is the cradle of our relationship. Similar upbringing, love for our
traditions and love for Israel are strong values which we have raised our family on and based the pillars of our kehillah kedoshah,” Bortz said. Rabbi Anderson shared those sentiments: “Judaism is superb at creating or exposing moments of quiet holiness that can happen in a family and, because we live such a vibrant Jewish life and have lots of these opportunities, we take advantage of them.” Dena Schusterman added, “Our whole outlook on life is through that lens, all those Jewish values, such as kindness, sharing and caring, … but what Judaism allows, in a healthy and safe way, is to be your own person, because even if you are married, you still need your own privacy and to be your own person allows for that self-actualization.” Rabbi Schusterman further explained, “Judaism allows you to be holy and wholly. There is nothing in life that we can do without divine existence, and there is probably nothing more complex than a male and female relationship and marriage. But being committed and understanding that there is something bigger than the two of us, that we need to lean on, derive strength from and remain anchored, is a key ingredient.” Lessons Learned The couples also shared some things they have learned along the way in their marriages. The Andersons, for example, have discovered how to fight fair and reconcile. “I think one of the things we learned early on is that you don’t cut down the trees, meaning there are certain things we never say to each other. We don’t fight to hurt. We might have an argument to prove a point or to blow off steam, but not to wound,” Marita said. Not giving up on the other person is another trait Rabbi Schusterman said he has learned from marriage. “Life has its own journeys and we sometimes get so stuck in what we are experiencing right now that we don’t zoom the camera out. I think that is a tragedy because so many relationships are broken in that narrow space, and what happens is people give up. But you have to zoom out and say there is a bigger picture here. Let’s give it time, and you have to work on it because there is no shortcut.” Millennial Advice In terms of relationship advice for millennials, Rabbi Anderson says the younger generation should take their time and make sure the person they are with is the person they want to wake
up next to for the rest of their life. “If you can’t envision going through all the amazing things that life has to offer and the decades, even when you are old, then they are not the right person,” he said. “The biggest mistake I see in some millennials that I interact with today, is that they are in relationships that they know are not going anywhere, which is sometimes okay if you are not ready to go somewhere, but there is no emotional space for that right person to come along if you are in a relationship with someone who is not right for you. I think that’s what causes a lot of suffering.” Rabbi Shusterman added, “It’s not about dropping your expectations, but having expectations of who you want to meet and has to include things that are of long-term value. People today are looking for a lot of superficial things and get disappointed when they don’t find what they are looking for or things that are not necessarily real. The real things are deep, and if people look for those things, they will see that they are out there, and those are the things that will ultimately make a relationship last.” Dena said, “The goal is to have someone who shares your ultimate values… and having a person to turn to in a respectful way. …It’s like having a mentor, someone who is older than you, someone who has been through life before you, and meeting and talking to people who have had successful marriages and help you bring awareness about what brings longevity to a marriage.” The Schustermans also advise millennials to get out of their own heads to really consider the other person’s position and to also make time for one another. “You have to spend time together, alone, out of your space, out of the routine … you have to invest in your relationships.” ■
Rabbi Eliyahu and Dena Schusterman think commitment, hard work and effort are key components of a successful marriage.
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sian single or divorced male that is fun, intelligent and adventurous. I am looking to meet – you! A fun, active man with whom to grow and share my leisure time, who has the desire and time to invest in a relationship. You are young at heart, healthy, relatively fit, and a non-smoker. You are intelligent and sane, yet in touch with your feelings and able to express them and talk about the deeper issues in life.j ID #1823: 58 to 63 Hispanic-Latin, Conservative divorced female. I am fun, loving and attractive. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends and marriage. Seeking: 58 to 63, Conservative or Reform, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. I am a fun, loving and caring Jewban. I enjoy going dancing, walking, movies, concerts, and other activities. Respect and honesty are vital to me. I am very social!j ID #1825: 63 to 70 divorced female. I am adventurous. Interested in just friends. Seeking: 63 to 70 available male that is adventurous.j ID #1826: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform single female. I am fun, loving, attractive, intelligent, adventurous, Down-to-earth, spiritual, and I value friendship and my family. I have a cat and a dog. Love to cook and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Seeking: 58 to 70 Reform, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Mr. Wonderful might have some imperfections, but don’t we all! You are capable of friendship, honesty. We have like minds and enjoy being together more than being apart.j ID #1827: 70+ Caucasian, non-Jewish divorced female. I am professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 63 to 71 + Single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining,
Seeking: age, religious description, ethnicity, marital status, gender and description of the person they seek to meet. Personal message.
fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Looking for someone with a young spirit and still takes care of themselves and looks. Fun loving, likes casinos. Sports, animals, family movies, travel and treats a lady like his princess.j ID #1829: 42 to 49 Caucasian, Conservative or Reform single female. I am fun, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love, marriage or long-term relationship. Seeking: 42 to 57 Conservative Reform, non-religious/traditional, or secular Caucasian, Mediterranean Single or Divorced Male that is Fun, Loving and Intelligent. Witty and fun Jewish professional seeking same.j ID #1830: 63 to 70 Reform, divorced female. I am fun, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love and casual dating, TBD! Seeking: 58 to 70 Reform, non-religious/traditional, secular, Reconstructionist or Renewal, single, divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. Knowing me is a multicultural experience! I enjoy life, the arts, Atlanta, the world, family, friends, animals and good food. I’m a loyal and trustworthy friend, mostly a quiet demeanor and low-key, though my passions run deep. It’s important to me to spend time getting to know each other. Sky’s the limit!j ID #1832: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform divorced female. I am professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love. Seeking: 50 to 70 Conservative, Reform, non-religious/traditional or non-Jewish, Caucasian, single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent, adventurous and wonderful! I am seeking not only a best friend but someone I am attracted to. He must share my morals and values. In the meantime I am enjoying my life, my friends . I am positive I will find him.j ID #1833: 63 to 70 Caucasian single female. I am professional, intelligent
and adventurous. Interested in love and friendship with a possibility of marriage. Seeking: 58 to 70 Single or divorced male that is a man who enjoys some of the activities I like. I enjoy walking, backpacking, camping, cycling, just being with nature in general.j ID #1834: 58 to 63 Caucasian Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular, single female. I am intelligent, adventurous and kind. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends and marriage. Seeking: 42 to 63 Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular male that is professional, fun, loving, intelligent, adventurous. I am independent and creative and love a good sense of humor. I love good conversations, doing things with my dog, traveling, watching movies and listening to music. I think I am a gentle soul and very down-to-earth. I don’t go all out for extravagance or lavish things. I love to explore different restaurants and cultures and I try to keep an open mind on philosophical and social ideas.j ID #1835: 70+ Caucasian, Reform divorced female. I am fun. Interested in casual dating. Seeking: 63 to 70 Caucasian, single or divorced male that is entertaining, loving, intelligent, adventurous. Looking for conversations, fun, connection, friend, walking.j ID #1836: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Reform single female. I am fun, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 50 to 63 Jewish, Caucasian divorced or widowed male that is fun, loving and intelligent. Searching for a wholesome, fun, and interesting relationship with a sweetheartof-a-guy. Attractive. Curious, soulful, successful. Funny and creative beach nut seeks soulmate!j ID #1838: 63 to 70 Caucasian, Reform divorced female. I am loving, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love and casual dating. Seeking: 63 to 71+ Conservative, ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 17
JEWISH LOVE Reform or non-religious/traditional, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. Class act seeks second act for companionship and the enjoyment of the simple pleasures of life.j ID #1841: 63 to 70 Caucasian, nonreligious/traditional divorced female. I am fun, loving and adventurous. Interested in love. Seeking: 63 to 70 available Caucasian male that is fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. I’m the real deal. I’m not out to take your money or to be dishonest. I’m not perfect but could be perfect for you.j ID #1842: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Conservative single female. I am entertaining, fun and adventurous. Interested in casual dating, Seeking: 58 to 63 Conservative or nonreligious/traditional, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving and adventurous. Love North GA mountains to explore, check out all the new breweries popping up!j ID #1843: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Reform divorced female. I am fun, loving and attractive. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends and marriage. Seeking: 58 to 63 Conservative, Reform or non-religious/traditional Caucasian, single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, intelligent, adventurous and athletic. Looking for someone who likes to do things and be active. Plays tennis is a plus.j ID #1847: 70+ Caucasian, secular, single female. I am fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love and just friends. Seeking: 63 to 71+ Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular available male that is fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Active, fun-loving widow looking for a man with similar interests. Hiking, traveling, concerts, movies, eating, cooking and more. Love to laugh!j ID #1849: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform, single female. I am fun, loving, attractive, intelligent, down to earth, spiritual and generally happy. Interested in love and marriage (friends first, then hopefully love). Seeking: 58 to 70 Reform, being with someone Jewish is important to me, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. We don’t need to have everything in common, but would be nice to be likeminded.j
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ID #1850: 34 to 41 Mediterranean, single female. I am professional, fun and loving. Interested in love. Seeking: 34 to 41 single or divorced male that is professional, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent.j ID #1852: 70+ Caucasian, Conservative single female. I am entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love, casual dating and just friends. Seeking: 71+ Conservative or Reform, Caucasian single male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Companion, bridge player, like outdoors, day trips, outgoing.j ID #1853: 42 to 49 Caucasian, Modern Orthodox, divorced female. I am fun, loving and creative. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 42 to 57 Orthodox or Modern Orthodox, single or divorced male that is entertaining, fun, loving, intelligent and kind.j ID #1856: 26 to 33 African American, non-Jewish, Christian, single female. I am professional, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 34 to 41 African American, single or divorced male that is professional, attractive and intelligent. Life is too short to go without a smile! I love G-d, the NBA, volunteering, friends, great food & wine and living a life of adventure!j ID #1859: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Conservative, divorced female. I am professional, loving and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating and just friends. Seeking: 50 to 57 Orthodox, Conservative, Modern Orthodox or Reform Caucasian, available male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, intelligent and adventurous. Willing to try new activities and spread my wings! Enjoy long talks, cuddling, laughing, exercising. Ya da, ya da, ya da...j ID #1861: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Conservative, divorced female. I am fun, loving and intelligent. Interested in marriage. Seeking: 50 to 63 Conservative or Modern Orthodox, Caucasian, divorced male that is professional, fun, loving and intelligent Warm-hearted, honest and always there for that right someone. Relocation optional.j ID #1862: 58 to 63 Caucasian, secular, single female. I am fun, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 50 to 70 Conservative,
Reform, non-religious/traditional, secular or non-Jewish, Caucasian single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining, fun, intelligent, adventurous, irreverent, but the fun kind of irreverent, honest though not painfully so, compassionate and sentimental. I’m passionate about my (progressive) beliefs. Energetic ... after coffee. Love travel and adventure, especially via kayak. Though I may be an independent sort, I am always there for my friends, ready to listen, be supportive, and when asked, give an opinion. I am happy and content either hanging out with friends, listening to live music or camping out in the mountains. I am as comfortable enjoying a night out listening to a great band as I am out in the middle of nowhere, enjoying the Perseid meteor shower.j ID #1863: 70+ Caucasian, Reconstructionist, divorced female. I am fun, loving and adventurous. Interested in love. Seeking: 63 to 71+ Caucasian, divorced male that is fun, loving, attractive and adventurous. My heart is committed to laughter, fun and friendship.j ID #1867: 63 to 70 Caucasian, Reform, divorced female. I am professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent, adventurous, secure, funny, petite, involved in community, purpose and an adventurous eater. Interested in love and casual dating. Seeking: 50 to 71+ Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular, available male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Someone secure, has character, is a mentsch, not cynical, likes to touch, wants a friend, maintains relationships, is happy I’m happy, friends say adorable, juicy, I connect.j ID #1868: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Reform or non-religious/traditional, divorced female. I am fun, loving, and adventurous. Interested in love, casual dating, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 42 to 63 Caucasian, single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Good person who is looking for a great partner to spend my life with. Been a little ripped off the marriage department and Karma is due! Low maintenance, humble, fun, liberal, divorced with 2 kids.j ID # 1870: 42 to 49 Caucasian, Reform, single female. I am fun, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love and casual dating. 34 to 57 Single, divorced male that is fun, intelligent and adventurous.
I’ve searched the universe and still haven’t found you. Where on earth can you be? Single 40 to 45-year-old overeducated, articulate/ultra-engaging female with a beautiful smile, sense of humor, very fit and active – loves to dance and hike. If you’re a smart, active and fit, funny single/divorced male 38 to 48 yrs old – and like the road less traveled, contact me. There’s nothing to lose!j
MALE SEEKING FEMALE ID #1869: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform, single male. I am professional, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, marriage and dance partner. Seeking: 50 to 63 Conservative, Reform, non-religious/traditional, secular or spiritual, single, divorced, or uncertain female that is fun, attractive and intelligent I’m a great catch so catch me while you can! :)j ID #1860: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Reform, divorced male. I am entertaining, fun, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love and casual dating. Looking for 34 to 57 available female that is fun, attractive, intelligent and adventurous.j ID #1866: 58 to 63 Caucasian, secular, single male. I am professional, entertaining, fun, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love, casual dating and just friends. Seeking: 50 to 57 available female that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, intelligent and adventurous. Love, laugh, people, conversation. Good times roll!j ID #1865: 26 to 33 Mediterranean, Sephardic single male. I am professional, fun and loving. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 26 to 33 Conservative, Modern Orthodox or Reform Caucasian, Mediterranean, single female that is gregarious, witty, down-to-earth, family-oriented, considerate with a fun-loving and bubbly personality who values intellectual conversations, physical fitness, the outdoors and a passion for food. Outdoor Enthusiast, Cultured, Romantic, Passionate, Intelligent.j ID #1864: 70+ Caucasian, Conservative, divorced male. I am fun, loving and attractive. Interested in love. Seeking: 50 to 70 Caucasian, single or divorced female that is fun, loving and attractive. Young, healthy, energetic 71 year old, honest, faithful, & kind.j
JEWISH LOVE ID #1857: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Reform, divorced male. I am professional, fun and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 42 to 57 Orthodox, Conservative, Modern Orthodox, Reform, non-religious/traditional, secular or non-Jewish, single or divorced female that is professional, fun and loving. Have 3rd grade child, blending is best, but not a requirement.j ID #1858: 50 to 57 Caucasian, Conservative, divorced male. I am fun, loving and intelligent. Interested in love. Seeking: 42 to 57 Caucasian, Mediterranean, available female that is fun, loving and attractive. I enjoy being active and am intellectually curious.j ID #1854: 26 to 33 Caucasian, Conservative or Reform, single male. I am professional, fun and adventurous. Interested in love and marriage. Seeking: 26 to 33 Caucasian, Hispanic, Latin or Mediterranean, single female that is fun, intelligent and adventurous. Tall NJB looking for world travel companion and delicious brisket.j ID #1855: 58 to 63 African American, Christian, divorced male. I am professional. Interested in marriage. Seeking: 26 to 33 Christian, Hispanic or Latin, single female that is professional. Community Organizer.j ID #1851: 42 to 49 Caucasian, Conservative, Modern Orthodox or secular, single male. I am professional, fun and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating and marriage. Seeking: 26 to 41 Conservative, Modern Orthodox or Reform, single or divorced female that is fun, loving and intelligent. Intelligent, fun-loving guy seeking smart, cool Jewish girl with both secular and religious interests.j ID #1848: 26 to 33 Caucasian, Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular, single male. I am professional, lonely and intelligent. Interested in love and casual dating. Seeking: 26 to 41 Reform, nonreligious/traditional or secular, Caucasian, Hispanic, Latin or Mediterranean, single female that is professional, fun, loving and intelligent. In my spare time, I enjoy playing video games.j ID #1844: 63 to 70 Caucasian, Conservative, divorced male. I am loving and intelligent. Interested in casual dating, just friends, social networking and dining partner.
Seeking: 58 to 63, Conservative, Reform or non-religious/traditional female that is fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. Retired & enjoy dining & travel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but not alone!j ID #1846: 70+ Caucasian, Reform, single male. I am professional, fun and intelligent. Interested in love and casual dating. Seeking: 63 to 71+ Conservative or Reform, Caucasian, widowed or divorced female that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive and intelligent. Seeking attractive young 65+ year old who enjoys theater.j ID #1840: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Conservative or secular, divorced male. I am professional, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 26 to 49 Conservative, Modern Orthodox, Reform, non-religious/ traditional or secular, Caucasian, single or divorced female that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, attractive, and intelligent. Professional active JM seeking female for friendship and perhaps more.j
MALE SEEKING MALE ID #1845: 58 to 63 Israeli, divorced male. I am professional, loving, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love. Seeking: 58 to 63 single or divorced male that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, intelligent and adventurous. Originally from Israel. 3 years in Atlanta. Independent businessman. Happy and optimistic with lots of love for life and people. Looking to accomplish, learn and develop every day. A good friend and a partner. Curious, original, romantic, and intuitive. Someone that you can talk to about anything and do everything with... Also very open and interested in spirituality and the many other dimensions of life. Divorced for 10 years and father to three gown-up daughters. Looking to meet my soulmate.j ID #1839: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform, divorced male. I am fun, loving and honest. Interested in love. Seeking: 63 to 70, Reform, Caucasian, Single or Divorced male that is fun, loving, intelligent and adventurous. Enjoy life to the fullest! No games. Must be social. Must be single! Want to travel, go to plays, movies, and live music!j
ID #1824: 18 to 25 Caucasian, Reform, single male. I am fun, attractive and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 34 to 57 Caucasian, Hispanic, Latin or Mediterranean, single male that is professional, loving, and intelligent. Ambitious, hardworking, athletic and toned Jewish college student looking for love.j
FEMALE SEEKING FEMALE ID #1837: 42 to 49 Caucasian, Conservative, single female. I am entertaining, loving, thoughtful, creative, fun, giving, people person. Interested in love, casual dating and marriage, LTR. Seeking: 34 to 57 Conservative, Modern Orthodox, Reform, non-religious/ traditional or secular, single or divorced female that is professional, entertaining, fun, loving, intelligent, great communicator, best friend and lover in one, honest, thoughtful, interesting. Great mom of two kiddos, love festivals, travel, cooking, entertaining, lots of friends, close family.j
ID #1831: 58 to 63 Caucasian, Reform, divorced male. I am professional, entertaining, fun, intelligent and adventurous. Interested in love, casual dating, just friends, social networking and marriage. Seeking: 42 to 57 Caucasian, single or divorced female that is fun, loving, attractive, intelligent, witty, interesting and honest. Me: Love outdoors, theater, cooking and dining out, race cars, animals, kids. I am honest, caring and empathetic. You: Nice, fun, interesting, honest, enjoy many different activities and deep conversations.j ID #1828: 18 to 25, Conservative Reform, non-religious/traditional, single male. I am entertaining, loving and intelligent. Interested in love, casual dating and marriage. Seeking: 18 to 33, Conservative, Reform, non-religious/traditional or secular, available female that is fun, loving, attractive and dynamite! Strong Zionist, musically inclined, a blend of humor, silliness, and intensity.j ID #1871: 50 to 57, nonreligious but traditional, single, divorced male. I am fun, relatively fit, mostly a gentleman, fairly conservative, a staunch Zionist, and professional. Seeking: Someone like me, or not! I like dogs, vodka, the rain, travel, music, and so much more.j ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 19
Such a Catch By Rachel Fayne
Busy Accountant Makes Time for Dates and Krystal Andrew Haber likes to keep busy. The 27-year-old majored in management, got a master’s degree from Georgia State University, and landed his dream job from there. As an accountant who enjoys spending a lot of time with family and who’s currently on the hunt for a new condo, it’s likely difficult to make dating a priority. We think Andrew is Such a Catch, so we caught up with him to chat more about what he’s looking for on those dates. 1. What are you looking for in a partner? I am looking for someone who is kind and adventurous, someone who’s independent, hardworking, and caring. Those are the qualities I’m looking for. Someone who values family, who isn’t afraid to try new things and who likes to get out of their comfort zone would be great to meet. 2. What do you think or have you been told are your best qualities? I’ve been told my red hair and blue eyes are nice qualities. I think I can make people laugh. That’s important. I also try to be a good friend. 3. How do you spend your spare time? When I have spare time, I love being outdoors. Specifically, I like hiking, and I currently play in tennis and softball leagues. I play at Piedmont Park, and it can get pretty competitive. It’s great to always meet new people there though.
Israeli Transplant Embraces the South When asked, Hagar Sides says Atlanta found her. After visiting five years ago then going back to Israel, she decided she wanted to live in another country. She received the offer from the Israeli Ministry of Tourism in Atlanta, and the rest was history. The 38-year-old has since been interested in exploring the relationship between Israeli and American Jews here in Atlanta and devotes a lot of her free time to facilitating those conversations. We think Hagar is Such a Catch, so we sat down with her to find out more about what she does in her personal life and who she’s looking for. 1. What are you looking for in a partner? It’s a million-dollar question. I’m looking for my best friend and someone who will be my equal partner. In Hebrew we have a word for someone that will make you feel good and also empower you: firgun. That’s what I’m looking for. Also, a man that smells good is so important.
I’ve also recently taken up yoga and salsa dancing. I like to do a little of everything. 4. What is your guilty pleasure? Late night Krystal’s burgers. They’re delicious. 5. What are some things that are most important in your life? Why are they valuable to you? Being with friends and family is most important in my life because they’re the people that make me the happiest. My family is incredibly close. Most of them are in Georgia, but I have a twin sister in Connecticut and an older sister in Florida. My parents are here though, and we often get to spend a lot of time together. We really enjoy traveling, and we went to South Africa and Israel most recently together. They’re great role models.
2. What do you think or have you been told are your best qualities? Well it’s not a great quality, but I’m stubborn. Like most Israelis, I’m also straightforward and ambitious. We don’t tolerate beating around the bush. I cut to the chase. I’m honest. 3. How do you spend your spare time? I have a blog that takes up a lot of my time. I’m a pastry chef in my free time, so I blog about the food I’m eating. I make great bobka. I also enjoy volunteering to work within the Israeli/Atlanta community. Since moving here, I’ve thought a lot about the relationship, the differences, and the similarities between Atlanta and Israeli Jews. I’ve produced a few events that serve as a forum for those discussions. I love Atlanta so much, and I also
If you’re interested in these catches or want to be featured as a catch yourself, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
20 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
love to explore. Travel is a huge part of my life. I travel a lot for work, but I also go for fun quite a bit. Mexico and Costa Rica are some of my favorites. 4. What is your guilty pleasure? Junk food! I shouldn’t say it, and I try not to eat too much, but I can’t help it. I love food that’s bad for me, specifically Cheetos. Drinking wine on my patio is also one of my favorite pleasures in life. 5. What are some things that are most important in your life? Why are they valuable to you? My independence is everything. I don’t like to be tied down to something that could potentially hold me back. My family is also a major priority for me. My brothers are the most important thing in my life. They’re in Israel though, so friends in Atlanta have become my family. When you’re an immigrant and your family isn’t with you, you try to find friends who feel like family. I’m always looking for people - both friends and in relationships - who have similar values. Dating specifically has in the last five years or so become very superficial. I want to meet people who are straightforward and honest. Let’s just meet for coffee or a drink and see how it goes. ■
Jewish Love and Pride By Roni Robbins email@example.com Rabbi Joshua Lesser has a lot to celebrate these days. The newlywed was recently named a grand marshal of this year’s Atlanta Pride Parade. Lesser is the longtime rabbi of the LGBTQ+ inclusive synagogue, Congregation Bet Haverim, and founder of the Southern Jewish Resource Network for Gender & Sexual Diversity (SOJOURN). From his honeymoon this week in Botswana, Lesser said he is humbled by the honor to lead the parade Oct. 13-14. “My hope is to use this platform to support our LGBTQ+ youth and particularly transgender and non-binary people in the Jewish and Atlanta communities.” It seems fitting that Lesser is finally leading the parade, said Rebecca StapelWax, SOJOURN’s executive director. “It stunned me he never has been honored before, that such a leader in the gay and lesbian community hadn’t been recognized. It’s so exciting for him to be acknowledged and lifted up as an inspiration to our community,” she said. “He has not shied away from difficult conversations and is really a model. People disagree with him and he still treats others with dignity.” When Atlanta held its first Atlanta Pride Parade in 1971, most Jews were still closeted and fearful. Bet Haverim began in 1985 and it was the first time Jews were visible, Stapel-Wax said. “It was somewhat dangerous in the workplace, in the family and congregations.” Lesser recalled the danger. “When I arrived in Atlanta, I received death threats. I had colleagues who refused to acknowledge me or publicly tried to shame me. "Today, I have some of the most supportive colleagues and those that have
disagreements about LGBTQ issues do so with respect. We are a recognized part of the larger community. Thanks to SOJOURN and CBH, our community is more welcoming.” The number of Jewish organizations that attend the Pride Parade is a good example of how far the community has come in gaining acceptance, Stapel-Wax said. In 2015, 300 people and 36 Jewish organizations marched with SOJOURN in what was believed to be the largest contingency in the parade, she said. SOJOURN was one of the grand marshals that year. Last year, 54 Jewish organizations were involved in the parade. “When you see a faith community as large as ours” walking in the parade, “it’s one of the most moving experiences people can have. They feel like they make a difference. They are connected among friends, supporters and advocates just by being present. That’s not a small gesture,” she said. It shows “everyone they deserve to love and be themselves.” Not all Jewish organizations want to be involved in the parade but may choose to support the LGBTQ+ community in other ways, Stapel-Wax said. There’s still plenty of room for improved relations, Lesser said. “We still can be treated like we are on the margins and we have leaps to make on how to meet gender diverse Jews’ spiritual, communal and justice needs,” he said. “The challenges are, some of my colleagues view the continued work for LGBTQ as identity politics rather than an integrated holistic part of community building. But after nearly 20 years serving this amazing community, I have hope for our continued growth, learning and equity.” Stapel-Wax agrees. “We’ve just made huge strides within the community, yet we still have to fight in the larger Georgia
SOJOURN float featuring organizations from the Atlanta's Jewish Community that supported the Pride Parade.
Rabbi Joshua Lesser and Alessandro “Alex” Ramaldes show the great heights they’ve scaled to be married.
The Jewish wedding of Rabbi Lesser and Alessandro Ramaldes on Rialto Beach, Wash., proves how far society has come in acceptance.
community, so our rights are not taken away in the name of religion.”
Two Jewish Ceremonies Show Community’s Progress
A bald eagle symbolically flew over and perched near the wedding ceremony of Rabbi Joshua Lesser and Alessandro “Alex” Ramaldes in Washington’s Olympic National Park. “Someone asked: ‘What do you think it means?’ Immediately I responded that this is what America should look like,” Lesser said. The wedding of Lesser and Ramaldes was attended by a few close friends, congregants, rabbis and cantors. Recognizing the irony, Lesser experienced the majesty of being honored in a ceremony at which he usually officiates. “To support a couple in declaring their love and setting powerful intentions with the strength of Jewish tradition brings me such joy. To receive that, in turn, by the community that gathered was an incredible way to set our foundation for
Newlywed, Rabbi Joshua Lesser of Congregation Bet Haverim.
married life. Representatives of our community, the awesomeness of nature’s humbling presence and our highest values were woven together to express the ways we understand G-d’s presence in our lives.” For Rebecca Stapel-Wax, the experience that showed how far the Jewish community has come in accepting LGBTQ+ people was her sons’ recent b’nai mitzvah. Growing up a Conservative Jew, she recalls how her sister decided to become frum (religiously observant). Stapel-Wax was eight at the time and her sister was 22. “When I came out, I felt like I had to choose between faith and love.” But at the Memorial Day b’nai mitzvah, her sister came with her seven children and was “incredibly supportive,” Stapel-Wax said. “It was something really miraculous having that support.” Stapel-Wax said her sister consulted a local Orthodox rabbi, who “enthusiastically” endorsed her decision to attend the b’nai mitzvah. ■
Rebecca StapelWax, SOJOURN executive director. ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 21
ARTS Guide to Love and Fear By Marcia Caller Jaffe Husband-wife marriage counselors, Deborah and David Woodsfellow, wrote a guide to helping couples understand what goes right in relationships – and what goes wrong. As founders of the Woodsfellow Institute for Couples, the Woodsfellows bring 25 years of marriage counseling to bear in their new book, “Love Cycles, Fear Cycles.” Through their counseling they have learned that almost all couples have two cycles: a love cycle and a fear cycle. “Understanding your respective vulnerabilities and reactions can help you stay out of your fear cycle and spend more time in your love cycle, …the key to enjoying life together,” said David Woodsfellow. Hear what the Woodsfellows have to say about marriage, with a Jewish touch. Jaffe: Summarize the crux of the book. David: Conflict and connection are opposite cycles. We want couples to understand their vulnerabilities, so they don’t go around and round in negative cycles. We help them gain awareness and insight to pull out of negative cycles when they begin. Example: One partner demands and the other withdraws. In their negative cycle, demand leads to withdrawal, and withdrawal leads to more demand. Deborah: Another example would be if one is too narcissistic; the other feels unimportant and can lose their identity. That could lead to more narcissism, which in turn could lead to more loss of identity. This could be a big disconnection. Jaffe: Do you have any observations unique to Jewish couples? David: Family really matters and is very important to Jewish couples. They are passionately concerned about their connection to their children. With the high holidays coming up, it’s a wonderful time to pay attention to your partner’s gripes. Make this front and center as you work on atonement. For instance, if your partner says that you are too intense, then you probably are. Jaffe: One of your specialties is affair recovery. What can we learn about that? David: That’s a tricky one. There are good chances of recovering from an affair if the partner is willing to end it, talk about it and honestly express their regret. Deborah: After that, the couple has to assess what they want to change in their relationship. Most people will be married two to three times. The question is whether it will be to the same person. 22 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
Deborah and David Woodsfellow help couples understand their love and fear cycles.
Jaffe: À la the Masters and Johnson team, is the book’s research based on your own observations or scientific data? David: Both. It’s based on our 25 years of marriage counseling and the research data from Dr. John Gottman. We have also synthesized ideas from several different master trainers like Dr. Harville Hendrix. Our book is now used to train other therapists. It took us five years to write and rewrite this book. Deborah: We had a lot of revisions as we gained perspective over the years. I would estimate that we have saved 1,500+ marriages. Jaffe: How would you define a successful marriage? David: Stable, intimate, good teamwork, good friends, and sense of purpose. Deborah: Happy couples spend a lot more time in the love cycle than they do in the fear cycle. David: Yes, I’d say five times as much time. Jaffe: What happens when you counsel unmarried couples about their future? David: Most couples are happier when they can change their fear cycle. We advise those dating that nothing and no one is perfect. Everybody has problems. Even when you are with your beshert, they still won’t be perfect. Your deepest fears will be touched. … That’s part of what bashert means. It’s the part of you that needs to heal. ■ The Woodfellows will appear at these free events open to the public: “Why do People Get so Defensive?” 4 p.m. July 21, Sandy Springs Library, 395 Mt Vernon Hwy NE, Sandy Springs. “Four Words for Staying Happily Married,” 7 p.m. Sept. 17, Lithonia-Davidson Library, 6821 Church St, Lithonia.
My Life in Photographs By Susanne Katz In each of our lives there are defining moments. The images we remember of those defining moments may stay with us for a lifetime. And yet, says Eugen Schoenfeld, there are just moments in each person’s life that are a simple display of their humanity and of the human condition. This remarkable man has survived through many defining moments and yet prefers to create photographs that display joy, empathy and understanding. “It's not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” is a famous quote by Henry David Thoreau. The photographs in this exhibition express every day human experiences, but to really see the value of these spontaneous moments, we must look through the prism which Schoenfeld looks through, to see the world. Schoenfeld was born in 1925 in Munkacs, a small shtetl in the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains. He was 18 years old when, along with the Jews of his home town, Schoenfeld was shipped to the slaughterhouses in Auschwitz. From Auschwitz, he and his father were taken to a camp in Warsaw, Poland, before being moved to Dachau. In April of 1945, the camp was liberated. In 1946, Schoenfeld bought his first camera while working for the United Nations as a welfare officer until being granted a visa to come to the United States in the summer of 1948. He earned a master’s in sociology from Washington University, and later, a Ph.D. from Southern Illinois University. The now retired professor and chair emeritus of the sociology department at Georgia State University moved to Atlanta in 1970 and enjoyed being a vibrant part of both the university and the pho-
tography community. My relationship with professor Schoenfeld began when I was a student in his sociology class at Georgia State University. Later, I was a member of Atlanta Photography Group with this man who had been fascinated with photography since childhood and always dreamed of owning a camera. Schoenfeld’s vision through the lens of his camera reflects his humanist view of society. “I have seen too many tragedies and wished to stay away from human problems and human desperation. I sought to depict a positive view of the human world. I was seeking the moments when people, unknowingly and unconsciously, displayed themselves as human beings.” A powerful and unforgettable defining moment in Schoenfeld’s life was May 2, 1945, the day he was liberated from a German concentration camp. That was when he realized he had survived the Holocaust but then would have to survive the ordeal of liberation with the awareness that he had lost his family, his home, his country and his way of life. How, he wondered, could he deal with his anxiety, his fear and his shock? The pressing question in that moment was, “What do I do now?” Schoenfeld’s love for photography has grown from his first encounter with sun sensitive photo papers and then with 4-by-5 glass plate negatives. The images and the processes were magical, but they were not fixed and soon disappeared. He yearned for a camera and bought his first, a Leica IIIc, which was soon stolen from him. But his next camera, a Kodak Retina, traveled with him as he migrated to the United States in 1948. Working at Memphis State University in 1967 with a used Exakta SLR camera, Schoenfeld learned darkroom techniques and dedicated himself to street
THE WEAVER, 1978 Mexico City
Photos by Eugen Schoenfeld
FAMILY AT FLEA MARKET, 1975 Atlanta
photography. As photography mentors entered his life, Schoenfeld became connected to and learned from such wellknown photographers as André Kertész, Arnold Newman and Atlanta’s own John McWilliams. Through his many years as a sociologist and a photographer, this outstanding professor and artist has chosen to bring to the viewer a moment of joy and a feeling of empathy through his photographs. I will always appreciate the honor of having been his student and seeing the world through his eyes. Kim Goodfriend, assistant director, Arts + Culture of the Marcus JCC, has organized the photographs in an exhibition in the Katz Family Main Street Gallery. These black and white images use chiaroscuro to create contrast in a collection of images of people and places in moments of time. Exploring the contrasts with literal light and dark, combined with the philosophy and technique of ‘decisive moment’ add dimension to the photographs in the exhibition. Goodfriend’s professional and personal experience with Holocaust survivors inform her conversation with the images.
Visual and audio recordings of many eye-witness accounts, including those of Cantor Isaac and Betty Goodfriend, z”l, as well as Schoenfeld, exist as vital evidence of the Holocaust. However, childhood memories of family, school and faith before the war, combined with the story of how a life is rebuilt, add valuable story pieces when trying to get to know a Holocaust survivor. The unexpected part of the narrative is often found in those moments between love and loss, prison camp and freedom, light and dark. Schoenfeld, a dedicated amateur photographer and trailblazer in the science of human social relations, now uses the Katz Family Main Street Gallery as his lecture hall. He challenges the viewer as he challenged his students. Discover the unexpected human dimensions of every person’s life experience. Susanne Katz is director of exhibitions for the Breman Jewish Heritage Museum. ■ Retrospective: Photographs by Eugen Schoenfeld, is on view at the Katz Family Mainstreet Gallery at the Marcus JCC of Atlanta, through September 17.
THE KING AND THE BRAS, 1975 Atlanta ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 23
Photos by Laurie Sermos
Cb and Hillary Miles pose by the porcelain, steel and aluminum table by MDF Italia with marble figures by Hillary’s late aunt Sylvia Gould. The background (left) shows guestroom bookshelves designed by Cb and (right) the expansive living room. The maple art deco barrel chair is by Brueton.
Chai Style Homes
“Miles” of Sleek Modern Clarity H illary and Cb Miles spent a year renovating their one level, crisp Buckhead oasis. The open expanse is much like a couture gown: not overly complicated, but replete with punctuation marks like Cb’s floral arrangements and the use of a Chrysler car part incorporated into the kitchen backsplash. He met his match decades ago while Hillary was performing in a supper club. She uses her on- and off-air television experience to round out their designing duo. Cb, an allied member of the American Society of Interior Design, hails from Manchester, England, where he studied art and design. He was an industrial designer before he established Miles Design in 1986. His boutique design firm has perfected commercial and residential spaces from Paris to Miami, including the Post Apartment Group locally. Under his watchful eyes, it’s hard to discern if the furniture is art, or if the art is the furniture. “If it has no need, it has no purpose,” he said. “Only a few of the original walls remain,” Hillary said. “The new walls now function as furniture. Cb’s clients also appreciate his clever hidden storage areas and floating closets.” 24 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
Come tour their genius – pure and simple:
Chai Style Homes By Marcia Caller Jaffe firstname.lastname@example.org
Jaffe: Describe the evolution of your condo. Cb: The original unit was incredibly dark, so our initial challenge was to open up the space to allow natural light to flow into all areas. The individual walls became modules, each with their own artistic character. I call it a “functional sculpture.” Adding custom lighting and furniture was next. My relationship with The Lighting Loft and And How Furniture made it easy for me to create my vision. Jaffe: What are some of the artists that you collect and value? Hillary: Many local artists: Jeffrey Lange, Chris
Burk, Calvin Jones, Steven Seinberg, and the late Paul Chelko, who was a wonderful friend. We have an unusual zodiac textile by Israeli artist Kopel Gurwin. I have some very special pieces from my late aunt Sylvia Gould who did the marble sculptures on the dining table. One of our favorites is Steffen Thomas who designed the Trilon sculpture at Colony Square. We like the color and movement in his work CityScape ’82, which is in the kitchen. To quote Thomas, “I am Welsh by ancestry, German by birth, American by adoption, and Southern by choice.” Jaffe: How do you direct your creative process? Cb: Designs live in my head. I think out of the box and lean towards European modern, classical furniture. The only antique we have in here is Hillary’s mother’s distressed mirrored credenza in the great room. I like function and form and have built-ins that slide, often with a pop of color, creating an unexpected space-saving storage component. My Yamaha piano keyboard is hidden this way in my office. The front guest bath has chartreuse glides that hide supplies. Fun with no fuss. I don’t go for what’s “in.” I’m a detail freak who likes function. Jaffe: You two collaborate by composing dramatic mixed media pieces. Hillary: Several of Cb’s works are displayed here: “Dead at Sea” and “Map of Atlanta” are so unique. You can even see Hartsfield in his design. In the front guest
The couple nurtures a fabulous 36-year-old croton plant, which recently bloomed for the first time. The mixed media in the background is by Chris Burk. The cheery yellow seating area balances flowers arranged by Cb, complementing the funky wool rug by Gandia Blasco. The chairs are piped in white leather.
bathroom, we have “Mount St. Helens.” Basically, he uses concrete, wood and glue and I add the copper. The large charcoal hued one in the master bedroom is “Hide and Seek.” They have mass and are very substantial. Jaffe: You’re a cross between muse and business manager. Hillary: I do handle the billing and purchasing for Cb’s design firm. I wear many hats. I am a sounding board as he visualizes a project and sees it through. After all, I was a television producer. What we do here mirrors that. Our jobs have to come together on time and within budget.
Jaffe: What’s behind the design of your master bathroom dressing area? Hillary: It’s really my personal space for my purse collection as art. See my mother’s 1950 vintage Koret. I am partial to these resin ones by Angela Frascone. I like the Anka painting that accents them. Nearby is whimsical “Butterfly Jar” by C. Antieau.
Chris Burk’s oversized soapstone sculpture outside the elevator entrance greets visitors.
Designs live in my head ... I don’t go for what’s “in.” I’m a detail freak who likes function.
Jaffe: The kitchen is a chef’s dream. Cb: We both really like to cook. I make pastas, ribs, cookies, muffins and bread sticks. Hillary specializes in Indian and Hungarian cuisine. We enjoy our casual European coffee station.
The master bathroom is one of the couple’s favorite areas. The floor-to-ceiling tile is practical and sleek. YouTube streams coral reef visuals adjacent to the sinks. ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 25
Right inset: The inviting front entry leads with “Atop the Anvil” by Jeffrey Lange. Cb designed the precise Gerbera daisy floral arrangements. The wood bench curves demonstrate Cb’s attention to detail.
Cb’s office/TV room illustrates his love of function and clean lines. Furniture by Ligne Roset. The scarlet painting is by Calvin Jones. Cb streams Netflix street art and his own drawings on the screen as he works. Above left: Hillary and Cb worked together to create this mixed media piece “Hide and Seek” from glue, concrete, wood and copper. Hillary says she’s the copper aficionado.
Note that the paintings at its top are original Paul Chelko coasters. The perfectly spaced buttons you see on the backsplash behind the stove are actually Chrysler car panel parts. Artist Chris Burk and I used them several years ago as part of our art project for Post Properties. We installed over 60 metal and concrete works of art in the
breezeways of their loft apartments. Jaffe: What’s the story behind the graceful croton plant and your affinity for fresh flowers? Cb: Throughout the condo, you will see several areas of my structured, yet simple floral compositions: Gerbera daisies and jonquils today. I might use rocks or
repetitive patterns like you see in the entrance. Hillary: “Plantie,” as we call him, has been with us for 36 years. He has defied all odds and just last week bloomed for the first time. I guess you could call him a “late bloomer” (laughing). Since he has this huge offshoot, we may have to construct some type of sculpture to hold him up. Jaffe: How would you describe your husband’s talent and expertise? Hillary: Well, he is certainly a perfectionist, but I also wound up with the “perfect” husband and business partner! Cb: (In his crisp British accent) Yes, being a perfectionist has its drawbacks. I was a very difficult client! ■
Both avid chefs, the Miles’ feel that the kitchen is the heart of their home. Overhead fixtures are by The Lighting Loft. The couple’s favorite painting (left) is Cityscapes ’82 by Steffen Thomas. 26 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
The trendy Italian chandelier is by Donghia. The round table reminds the couple of movie sets from the 1920s and 1930s, envisioning movie stars. The small painting is Paul Chelko’s interpretation of his late wife.
Something to Smile About By Sarah Moosazadeh email@example.com Dentistry has run in Michael Friedman’s family for decades. His grandfather was a dentist and his great-grandfather before him. Today, Friedman uses his profession to treat Holocaust survivors pro bono. President of the Atlanta alumni chapter of the Jewish dental fraternity Alpha Omega for the past two years, Friedman discovered the Henry Schein Cares Holocaust Survivors Oral Health program. The public-private partnership, established in 2015, has been providing oral health to Holocaust survivors internationally. HSOH started with nine U.S. cities and has since expanded to 21, including Atlanta. The program was designed to help aging Holocaust survivors who needed treatment with the goal of providing functional and pain-free smiles, Friedman said. “They may not have been needy people in the community, but as they aged and got older, Holocaust survivors realized that their finances were diminishing and found themselves in need of sometimes significant costs of dental care,” said Friedman of My North Atlanta Dentist. “We find that a lot of patients escaped Europe and ended up in the former Soviet Union before coming to the United States. So, we find them having Russian dentistry as well as older dentistry from Eastern Europe.” Yet each patient’s case is different, Friedman added. “We have seen people who just need a few fillings to people who have not been able to afford care
and may need some bad teeth taken out and some fake teeth put in.” Most patients are in their 80s and were really young during the Holocaust, and in most cases, their treatment is based on what happened afterwards, he said. “Sometimes its dental work from the former Soviet Union and it’s not the greatest, but you have to pick up where that left off, which can really be a little bit of everything.” The dentists donate their services to the patients who are referred through Jewish Family & Career Services. The survivors are usually part of the social network system there, and when social workers learn that they need some dental care, they contact Friedman. Friedman believes he has treated six patients in the last three years. “Sometimes you see someone for a quick thing and sometimes you see them a lot; it just depends on what they need,” he said. One of the most memorable patients Friedman says he has treated is Holocaust survivor Valery Kats. In the past 1 ½ years, Kats has visited Friedman every three weeks to receive crowns on his top and bottom teeth. “Doctor Friedman is a very caring man, and after every visit, he calls home to ask how I am feeling,” Kats said. “I am very grateful for this program because dental work is expensive, and I can’t afford it by myself. I have social security, but it doesn’t cover much.” Kats was 2 years old when his family was forced to leave Ukraine in 1941 because of World War II. He and his mom traveled to another city in Russia and returned to Ukraine after the war only to find their home decimated. Kats is turning 79 and has retired after working for the furniture company Herman Miller. He lives with his wife in
Dentist Michael Friedman (left) befriended Holocaust survivor Valery Kats while he was a patient.
Tucker and has a daughter and grandchild. Kats still has two to three more visits with Friedman before his dental work is complete. “The amount of treatment and the time of treatment has certainly kept us together for a longtime,” Friedman said. “The change that I got to see in him is incredible. Kats came in not saying much and was a very quiet guy, but as we have gotten to know each other, I have learned a little bit more about him and really see him smile.” Friedman says that volunteering also has helped his team. “We do this at no charge, but just seeing how much of a change you can make in somebody and how grateful they are shows. Kats sometimes brings in gifts or fruit to say thank you for everything we have done and that is definitely the most memorable aspect for me,” Friedman said. The response from Holocaust survivors, in return, has been great, Friedman added. “They are just grateful and can’t
believe that someone is helping them and taking the time to treat them right. Sometimes they also are scared because someone is offering them a free service or because they may have been through some traumatic events in the past. They think ‘what is this going to be? Will it hurt? Will it work for me?’ But once they see that the dentists can give them their smiles back they are very appreciative.” Friedman says part of the reason he provides his services is because he is happy to help others. “For me it is a different way of helping and feeling I did something. Obviously, I am much younger than these people and I was not around during that time, so I couldn’t do anything then. But you hear the horrors of what happened and think, well, if I was there, I wish I could have done something. Well, you still can do something. You can’t stop the terrible things that happened, but what you can do is help people who are still around.” ■
Jewish Joke of the Week JEWISH PERSONAL ADS Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658. Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK. POB 64. Successful Orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee Stadiums. No Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s’firah. Seeking wife. POB 41. Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents’ house. POB 843. Worried about in-law meddling? I’m an orphan! Write. POB 74. Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.
Joke provided by David Minkoff www.awordinyoureye.com ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 27
KEEPING IT KOSHER Olde Fashioned Oatmeal Summertime is upon us. This is the best time for cookouts, eating barbeque, and sipping sweet iced tea. Fireflies come out in the evening, and it’s the perfect time to sit in a rocking chair and enjoy all of these Southern classics. Here at Ali’s Cookies, we have another Southern classic for you to enjoy: our Olde Fashioned Oatmeal cookie. We are always trying to listen to our customers’ suggestions. When the customers at our Perimeter location started asking for a traditional, Southern oatmeal cookie without any raisins or nuts, we heard them. We went deep into the Ali’s Cookies test kitchen, and after much deliberation, we emerged with a perfectly balanced cookie with chewy oatmeal and a delicate spice flavor. Our customers come up with some of the best ideas for new cookie flavors, and we have the know-how to make those ideas as amazing as all of our cookies. In fact, we are currently working on our newest addition to the Ali’s Cookies line up, the Whoops cookie. Customers asked us for a chocolate chip-based cookie, but without the chips. Let me tell you, this new cookie has turned out to be AMAZING! Be on the
lookout for our new cookie coming soon, but in the meantime, enjoy this Southern classic from Ali’s Cookies: Ingredients: 2 sticks butter or margarine, softened 1 cup sugar 1 cup brown sugar 2 extra large eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda
Sweet Baking By Jeff Rosengarten firstname.lastname@example.org
1 teaspoon salt 1 ½ teaspoons cinnamon 3 cups rolled oats Instructions: Preheat oven to 350º F. Cream the butter and both sugars until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and blend well. Add flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and oats and blend just until white disappears. Use an ice cream scoop to scoop dough onto a lightly greased cookie sheet. For larger cookies, like the ones we serve at Ali’s Cookies, use a 3 ounce scoop. Chill the dough for at least an hour. Bake 10-12 minutes, turning halfway through to ensure even baking. Let cool, and enjoy! ■ Photo courtesy of Banu Unel
Thank you to our friends at Southern Consignment for the use of their facilities for our photo shoot.
Sweet and Dairy: Cheese, Bread and Chocolate Candy By Atlanta Kosher Commission
Formaggio Mio Parmesan Restaurant Formaggio Mio uses Parmesan cheese in many dishes. Authorities consider Parmesan an aged cheese and as such may require a six-hour wait before eating meat. Many of the menu items that contain Parmesan have been cooked and, at that point, many authorities do not require a six-hour wait. The Parmesan on the Caesar Salad and the Homemade Fries with Parmesan Flakes have uncooked Parmesan on them. Please check with your rabbi. Kroger Breads The Kroger Company has two kosher pareve bread bakery departments: one 28 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
in Sandy Springs and one in Toco Hills. Breads baked in these bakeries are pas yisroel. Kroger also sells breads from other kosher bakeries in the kosher bread area. These breads may or may not be pas yisroel. This includes Goldminer and Wholesome Harvest breads (KOF-K). GoLightly GoLightly Sugar Free Hard Candy Just Chocolates (bonus 10% more) are sold at Dollar Tree stores. The product has been mistakenly labeled KOF-K DE. It is certified as KOF-K Dairy as it contains butter per the ingredient panel. To receive timely kosher alerts, subscribe to AKC’s mailing list, http://kosheratlanta.org/. Scroll down to the Kosher Alerts sign-up box and submit your name and email address. Names on this list are not shared with other groups. ■
Yiddish Names By: Yoni Glatt, email@example.com Difficulty Level: Medium 1
ACROSS 1. Basketball’s ___ World Peace (Ron Artest, once) 6. “Bus Stop” playwright William 10. Dancer-turned-spy Mata 14. Arab chiefs 15. Jaguars, e.g. 16. Oldest of the Baldwin brothers 17. Foolishness from Fleischer? 19. First name at Woodstock 20. Some Jewish laws 21. Common Market inits., once 23. Arabic “son of” 24. Pewter, brass, etc. 25. Feeling proud for Miranda? 27. Bar mitzvah boy, for one 28. Wallace of “E.T.” 29. “Don’t Look Back in Anger” band 30. Harris and O’Neill 31. Great leading man Grant 33. “Mind Medicine” author Geller 34. Rascally Moranis? 38. ___ of the land 39. Helps out the Tinman 40. Fla. neighbor 43. All-Bran alternative
13. Cake toppings 18. Shabbat has 25: Abbr. 22. Legendary Leachman 25. Kind of speaker 26. Nonclerical 28. Beats Dr. 31. Milk, in Israel 32. Evanescence singer Lee 33. Link 35. Chowder no-no, for the kosher keeper 36. What Moses did on Mount Nevo 37. Jews just focussed on the written Torah 41. Tart, green juice drink 42. Bottomless pits 43. Souvenir item 44. Eye-related 45. Louise’s partner in filmdom 46. Get 47. Kind of count 49. Periodic or pool 50. It’s corny 51. Stir up 54. A well-mannered woman 56. Sample, as wine 58. Two before Deut.
46. Took a loss 47. Baby holder 48. Rag for Groening? 50. Not crunchy 52. Clamor 53. Cistern 54. Nuts 55. Misfortunes 57. Admirable homemakers for Rhymes? 59. “Mr. Robot” actor Malek 60. Did some bending? 61. Blue stuff for Elvis 62. Mouth, so to speak 63. “Green” sin 64. Pluralizers DOWN 1. Absolutely require 2. Sent without a stamp 3. Indefatigable 4. King in “The Little Mermaid” 5. Analyze (some opals) 6. Yucky 7. Rob Roy’s refusal 8. Sit shiva, say 9. Beauty queen named after a Persian queen 10. “The ___” (Uris book) 11. Cops check them out 12. Leah of “Kevin Can Wait”
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The bat mitzvah of Stacey Gelb of Atlanta took place on Sunday, July 18, in Capetown, South Africa. Stacey is the daughter of Ada and Dennis Gelb.
15 Years Ago // July 25, 2003 ■ Elia Suleiman’s prize-winning film, “Divine Intervention,” opened on July 25 at Madstone Parkside Theaters. The film explores the Israeli-Palestinian situation from a viewpoint that few Jews, particularly American Jews, have ever experienced. ■ Dr. Stephen and Vicki Zellner of Ft. Myers, Fla., and Alan and Marilyn Cristal of Atlanta announce the engagement of their children, Julie Zellner and Jason Cristal. 25 Years Ago // July 23, 1993 ■ Atlanta’s Rob Grossman and Duluth native Marc Nadel competed at the 14th World Maccabiah Games in Tel Aviv. Grossman helped the U.S. badminton team win the bronze medal, competing in the singles, the doubles, and the mixed doubles. Nadel won the silver medal in the wheelchair tennis competition.
50 Years Ago // July 19, 1968 Mrs. Golda Meir held firm to her decision to relinquish her post as general-secretary of the Israel Labor Party effective August 1. Mrs. Meir, who just turned 70, told friends that while she will quit her post, she will not leave political life and will “be there whenever needed.” ■ Mr. and Mrs. Herbert S. Cover of Atlanta announce the birth of a son, Marc Douglas, on July 16. The grandparents are Mr. and Mrs. Isidore Cover and Mrs. Minnie Feibel, all of Boston. ■
Golda Meir, former Prime Minister of Israel.
ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES JULY 20, 2018 | 29
CALENDAR provided. To register, www.bethshalom.net or call 770-399-5300.
THURSDAY, JULY 19
The Kabbalah of Character - Chabad Intown, 928 Ponce de Leon Ave., Atlanta, from 8 to 9 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays through August 30. Learn strategies for making changes that are lasting and chart your own path to personal growth. Cost is $99 for single registration and $169 for double registration and includes materials, https:// intownjewishacademy.org/product/ character/.
JULY 20 - JULY 21
Summer Shabbaton Chant Retreat - Congregation Bet Haverim, 2074 Lavista Road, Atlanta, 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Open to CBH and community. $36 suggested donation. To register, https:// www.congregationbethaverim.org/.
SATURDAY, JULY 21
Shabbat Kulanu - Congregation Beth Shalom, 5303 Winters Chapel Road, Dunwoody, from 10:45 a.m. to 12 p.m. A special mini minyan for parents and children in kindergarten through 3rd grade. Kiddush lunch following services. Free.
Community Tisha B’Av - Congregation Etz Chaim, 1190 Indian Hills Parkway, NE, Marietta, from 7:45 to 10:15 p.m. Learn from different clergy and educators, and Ma’ariv followed by Havdalah and Megillah reading. Free. RSVP, etzchaim.net/tishabav.
SUNDAY, JULY 22
Annual Tisha B’Av Lecture with Dr. Deborah Lipstadt - Young Israel of Toco Hills, 2056 Lavista Road, Atlanta, from 7 to 8 p.m. Join Dr. Lipstadt as she gives her annual Tisha B’Av lecture on the topic, “Holocaust Laws, Holocaust Analogies: Using or Abusing the Past?” Free.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 1
Devarim Friday, July 20, 2018, light candles at 8:29 PM Saturday, July 21, 2018 Shabbat ends at 9:28 PM Va’etchanan Friday, July 27, 2018 light candles at 8:24PM Saturday, July 28, 2018 Shabbat ends at 9:22PM
TUESDAY, JULY 24
Toco Hills Infertility Support - Private residence from 7:30 to 8:45 p.m. Free. In partnership with Congregation Beth Jacob, Young Israel of Toco Hills, New Toco Shul and Chevra Ahavas Yisrael. RSVP for address, https:// www.jewishfertilityfoundation.org/ support. Questions, ashley@JewishFertilityFoundation.org.
Books for Breakfast Summer SeriesMJCCA, 5342 Tilly Mill Road, Atlanta, at 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. Monthly book club. This month’s book is “My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry” by Fredrik Backman. Free for members, $5 for the community. For more information, https://www.atlantajcc. org/pldb-live/books-for-breakfastsummer-series-40194/.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 25
1968 Summer Film Series - “Barberalla”- Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Sandy Springs, at 11 a.m. Free. For more information, www.templesinaiatlanta. org/event/1968-summer-film-series. html or 404-252-3073.
World of Coca-Cola Senior Mixer – Organized by MJCCA, 121 Baker St NW, Atlanta, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Participants will learn about the history of this famous beverage and enjoy the
EDGEWOOD RETAIL DISTRICT
FRIDAY, JULY 27
Shabbat in the Park - Decatur Toy Park, 133 Nelson Ferry Road, Decatur, from 5:45 to 7:30 p.m. Bring your own dish to share. Free. For more information and to register, https://www.signupgenius. com/go/5080e4aacac2da5fe3-shabbat
SUNDAY, JULY 29
Fort Benning’s Sunday Morning Jewish Services- Chapel of the Infantry, Ft. Benning, Columbus, Ga., from 8 to 10 a.m. Join more than 500 soldiers at the post to participate in the morning Jewish chapel services, talk to the troops about Jewish War Veterans and their military service, sign them up for free “in-service” memberships and host the oneg after services. Free and open to the public.
! R E T A C WE
UNDER SUPERVISION OF THE ATLANTA KASHRUTH COMMISSION
gregation Beth Shalom, 5303 Winters Chapel Road Dunwoody, from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Prospective member musical Shabbat service followed by a wine and cheese meet & greet. Join Rabbi Zimmerman for Shabbat service. After Shabbat, meet the staff, board and members. Free.
Board Game Shabbat - Congregation Beth Shalom, Congregation Etz Chaim, 1190 Indian Hills Parkway, NE, Marietta, from 12 to 3 p.m. Bring your favorite games. Snacks provided. Free. RSVP, www.etzchaim.net/gameday.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 5
Blood Drive at AA - Ahavath Achim Synagogue, 600 Peachtree Battle Avenue NW, Atlanta from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. To schedule an appointment, go to www.redcrossblood.org and enter sponsor code JWV. For more information, contact Gail Solomon at gailsol@ gmail.com or 404-351-1900.
At the home of Beth and Steve Mintz in Marietta from 3 to 6 p.m. Eat, swim, meet and socialize. Bottled water and ice are provided. Bring your own beverage of choice. $18 per person. RSVP by July 20. For more information, contact firstname.lastname@example.org or call 770-2317416.
Dunwoody, from 7 to 9 p.m. Create or join a team at trivia night. Your admittance is a kosher dessert item. Drinks
NAM OWN CIN
SATURDAY, AUGUST 4
Hadassah Ketura Pool Party BBQ -
Z E YOOULR I M ! O T S CU ON R L
30 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
many exhibits showcasing the CocaCola Company’s impact on the world. Lunch will be available for purchase at the CNN Center following the tour. The cost is $22 for members and $28 for the community.
Congregation Beth Shalom Trivia Night - 5303 Winters Chapel Road,
Vegan • Kosher Parve Bakery
of the Apes”- Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Sandy Springs, at 11 a.m. Free. For more information, www.templesinaiatlanta.org/event/1968-summer-film-series.html or 404-252-3073.
Prospective Member Shabbat - Con-
1230 Caroline St
1968 Summer Film Series - “Planet
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 8
1968 Summer Film Series - “Rose-
Find more events and submit items for our online and print calendars at:
This calendar is sponsored by the Atlanta Jewish Connector, an initiative of the AJT.
JULY 19–AUGUST 15
$ THURSDAY, JULY 19
ORT Men’s Night Out - Chama Gaúcha Brazilian Steakhouse, 3365 Piedmont Road NE, Atlanta, from 7 to 9 p.m. Meet ORT’s CEO, Jeff Cooper, and hear from successful ORT graduates. $30, $36 for whiskey tasting add-on. To register, http://ortamerica.org/mensnightout.
mary’s Baby”- Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Sandy Springs, at 11 a.m. Free. For more information, www.templesinaiatlanta.org/event/1968-summer-film-series.html or 404-252-3073.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 12
Congregation Beth Shalom Fun in the Park Potluck - Windwood Hollow Park in Dunwoody from 4 to 6 p.m. Join Rabbi Zimmerman for an afternoon of fun and games. Bring a kosher dairy dish to share. Free.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 15
1968 Summer Film Series - “Charly”Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Sandy Springs, at 11 a.m. Free. For more information, www. templesinaiatlanta.org/ event/1968summer-filmseries.html or 404-252-3073.
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Cheryl Ann Scobel 67, Lilburn
Cheryl Ann Scobel, 67, passed away July 7, 2018. Cheryl was born in Atlanta and lived in Lilburn. She was preceded in death by her parents, Sam and Ruth Becker, of blessed memory. Cheryl is survived by her loving husband, Robert; daughter, Stacy Scobel; son, Hunter (Niki) Scobel; sisters, Heleen (Arnold) Berry and Genie Segal; brother, Edward (Melissa) Becker; and granddaughter, Niki Scobel. A graveside service was held Monday, July 9, 2018, 11:30 am at Crest Lawn Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Help US Adopt, https://www.helpusadopt.org. Arrangements by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770- 451-4999. Sign online guest book at www. edressler.com.
Laura G. Lawrence 70, Atlanta
Laura G. Lawrence of Atlanta passed away peacefully in the evening of July 8, 2018, at Hospice Atlanta, surrounded by friends and family. She was born on September 9, 1947 at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta and was raised in Dalton, Ga. She attended public schools including Dalton High School, where she qualified for The Honor Society and was Homecoming Queen for 1964. Laura made her debut at the 1964 Cotton Ball in Chattanooga, Tenn. She later attended college at LSU, Colorado and Georgia State University, from which she graduated in 1967. She married Richard S. Lawrence of Atlanta in 1968 and they remained together for more than 50 years. Laura spent most of her married years as a homemaker while raising two children, Richard Jr. and Janice. She worked in business for several years in the administrative field for Property Advisory Corporation and Library Specialists. In her early years of marriage, she participated in an ALTA tennis league on a team based at The Standard Club. In recent years, Laura was an avid reader and played duplicate bridge and mahjong. She was a fan of Georgia Tech sports and attended some 50 games in a few years. She enjoyed her beach days at her condo in Palm Beach. She leaves behind her husband, Richard; two children, Richard Jr. and Janice; two grandchildren, Lucian and Tesa; and two brothers, Larry and Lucky and their wives and children. Laura was liked or loved by everyone she knew and she had many close friends. A memorial service was held Friday, June 13, 2018 at The Temple with Rabbi Samuel Kaye officiating. Arrangements made by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770-451-4999.
Daniel Scott Fruchtman 58, Marietta
Daniel Scott Fruchtman, 58, of Marietta passed on July 8, 2018. He was born in New York City to Bernard Fruchtman and Myrna “Hansi” Fruchtman on December 24, 1959. He attended the University of Georgia and received a Bachelor of Arts from C. W. Post University in New York. His partner of 15 years, Nancy Newman, was by his side. He leaves his mother and father, his son Louis Fruchtman (Brenda Caplan); his daughter Rachel (Michael) Gordon; his brother Lloyd Fruchtman (Lisa Bartlett); his sister Betty (Harvey) Moscot; his brother Steven R. (Jamie) Fruchtman; and grandchildren, Alyse Fruchtman, Isabelle and Madison Gordon. Scotty enjoyed power boating, Porsche cars, big trucks, toys of all kinds, Yoder grilling, scooters, anything radio-controlled, hanging out with his friends, young and old, just to name a few. Most of all he cherished spending time with as many family members as he could gather in one place. We miss his spontaneous, childlike spirit, captivating smile and sincere compassion for all those close to him. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to MPN Research Foundation, http:// www.mpnresearchfoundation.org. Arrangements by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770- 451-4999. Sign online guest book at www.edressler.com.
Helen Scherr 90, Atlanta
Helen Scherr, 90, of Atlanta, formerly of Yonkers, N.Y. passed away on Tuesday, July 10, 2018. She was a beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and 32 | JULY 20, 2018 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
friend. She was the daughter of Jacob and Mollie Green, of blessed memory. Helen attended Taft High School in the Bronx and then attended New York University. She worked as an insurance agent while she raised her children. She had a great love for Frank Sinatra. She is survived by her children, Robin (Gerry) King and Warren (Elizabeth) Scherr; grandchildren, Alyssa (David) Drishpon and Jared King; great-grandchildren, Julia, Harrison and Eli Drishpon. She is preceded in death by her husband, Saul, and her son, Lawrence, of blessed memory. Graveside services were held Friday, July 13, 2018 at Arlington Memorial Park. Donations may be made to Chabad of Cobb, World World II Veterans, or the American Kidney Foundation. Arrangements made by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770-451-4999.
Elinor Angel Rosenberg Breman 96, Atlanta
Elinor Angel Rosenberg Breman died July 11, 2018. A mother of three sons who had a passion for the arts, symphony and theater, Elinor continued to find joy in learning and reinventing herself throughout her life. Born to Sadye and Phil Angel in Chattanooga, Tenn., she knew at 17 that her aspirations were too large for a small town. She met a charming salesman, her first husband Herbert Rosenberg Jr. from Atlanta, part of the Greatest Generation, who would later start the Buckhead Men’s Shop with his brother, Leman, as they raised their children. Formerly Elinor Rosenberg, she became one of Harry Norman’s top residential real estate agents in the Buckhead area, where she would achieve multi-million-dollar sales year after year. She was recognized by her peers from the Atlanta Board of Realtors with the Phoenix and the Top 20 in Sales awards. She would go on to publish two books: “Roller Coaster Ride” and “Best Friends,” a children’s book to benefit the Atlanta Humane Society. At 71, she would marry William Breman, a community leader and philanthropist as they started a new life together. A donation from them helped fund the William Breman Jewish Heritage Museum, which was their gift to the Southeast and to its rich Jewish culture. After Bill’s death, Elinor continued his philanthropy along with the Breman Foundation and founded the Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra Fellowship, providing scholarship funds to young musicians who need a helping hand. She could rarely say “no” as she served on the boards of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, The William Breman Jewish Home, the Anti- Defamation League, the William Breman Jewish Heritage Museum and the Breman Foundation. Elinor was a unique individual. She knew who she was and what she wanted out of life until her last breath. Her unwavering commitment to right the wrongs in our society and love of family and friends will always be admired among those who knew her. She is survived by her children: Jerry and Dulcy Rosenberg, John and Pamela Rosenberg, Phil and Judy Rosenberg, and Carol and Bob Nemo; grandchildren: Alan and Michelle Rosenberg, Kenneth and Karen Rosenberg, Karen and Mark Musa, Jason Rosenberg, Michael Rosenberg and Rebecca Rosenberg; great-grandchildren: Ansley, Peyton, Brendan and Zachary Rosenberg and Addison Musa; sister, Celie Helman of Columbus, Ga., and many nieces and great-nieces. A special heartfelt thanks to her care providers and Elinor’s angels: Deanna, Marie, Michelle, Charlene and Morine for their tireless dedication and love for our mom. In lieu of flowers, kindly make donations to: the William Breman Jewish Heritage Museum, The William Breman Jewish Home or the Elinor Rosenberg Breman Fellowship of the Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra. A memorial service was held at The Temple on Sunday, July 15 to celebrate her life. Arrangements by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770-451-4999. Sign online guest book at www.edressler.com.
Raymond Tenenbaum 92, Cartersville
Dr. Raymond Tenenbaum was a beloved husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, doctor, sports lover, opera aficionado, generous humanitarian. Known affectionately as “Dr. T,” he passed away peacefully at his home in Cartersville, Ga., on July 11, 2018. An Atlanta native and first generation American, Raymond was born on January 14, 1926, at the “original” Piedmont Hospital on Capitol Avenue, to emigrant Russian parents, Paul and Mary Tenenbaum. Growing up, Raymond attended Congregation Shearith Israel, and later, Ahavath Achim Synagogue. Raymond’s life and accomplishments exemplified the fulfillment of the “American Dream” his parents hoped for their children. “From the time I was born, my parents wanted me to be a doctor – versus grocery store owners like they were. I was raised to go to medical school,” he said. “Pretty much all I experienced growing up was school and studying.” Not surprisingly, Raymond was an excellent student. He attended Jane L. Key Elementary School, skipping a full grade, and then attended Hoke Smith Jr. High. Following that, he attended Atlanta Boys High School, graduating early at the age of 16. He then attended Emory University, finishing its undergraduate curriculum at 18. He then entered Emory’s medical college, graduating in just three years via a program to keep medical students out of the WWII draft. He then served in the Army from 1948-1950 as a medical officer at a hospital in Michigan. Following that, Raymond served as chief medical officer for the Red Cross blood collection program in Atlanta. He then entered a residency program in anesthesia at Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, where he found his true calling as anesthesiologist. Returning to Atlanta in 1957, Raymond joined the anesthesia practice at the “original” St. Joseph’s Hospital on Baker Street, which was the hospital’s first medical-specialty group allowed a private practice. “Back then, we only had stethoscopes, blood pressure cuffs, our fingers to measure pulse rates, and our experience in reading a patient’s condition based on their color and appearance,” he said. “We didn’t have monitors, electrolyte readings or other such modern technology. In spite of that, our patients always did well. We never lost one due to anesthesia.” Raymond eventually served as managing partner of that practice, as well as president and secretary of the Anesthesia Association of Atlanta. In 1971, Raymond left St. Joseph’s to become chief of anesthesia at West Paces Ferry Hospital, the first of Atlanta’s many suburban hospitals. He spent his last 20 years in practice at Hamilton Medical Center in Dalton, Ga. He then retired to Cartersville. Dr. Tenenbaum is survived by his wife of 67 years, Hilda Scott Tenenbaum, of Cartersville; his children: David Tenenbaum of Sandy Springs, Elena Bennett of Savannah, Elisa Tenenbaum of Pennington, N.J., and Karen Ribot (Dr. Hugo, Jr.) of Cartersville; his grandchildren: Alix Lane (Christopher), Molly Moravec, Sydney, Max and Sarah Beth Ribot, and Jeffrey, Joseph and Joanie Tenenbaum; and great-grandchildren: Harris Lane and Scarlett Ruppert. A memorial service will be held at a later date.
Ruth Sajowitz, 98, died on July 12. She was the wife of the late Rabbi William Sajowitz. Her funeral was on Tues., July 17 in Chicago. ■
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Obituaries in the AJT are written and paid for by the families; contact Managing Publisher Kaylene Ladinsky at email@example.com or 404-883-2130, ext. 100, for details about submission, rates and payments. Death notices, which provide basic details, are free and run as space is available; send submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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CLOSING THOUGHTS Remembering Edie and Her Shiny Blue Refrigerator Marilyn frequently visited her mother, Bayla Hirsch, in the Bronx apartment building where Zvi and I lived as newlyweds. Marilyn often stopped by our place, along with her brother-in-law, Marty, my husband’s oldest friend. The edifice was gigantic, taking up nearly a full city block. Zvi and I lived on the side facing Woodycrest Avenue, and Marilyn’s mother lived on the Ogden Avenue side. I might not have met Edith Turner if Mrs. Hirsch hadn’t lived near her on Ogden. One evening Marilyn, Marty, Zvi and I were sitting in our Salvation Army–furnished space, amid stacks of books, my sewing machine, Zvi’s decoupage desk, plants, and papier mache projects. Marilyn noticed shoes and a shoulder bag I had painted purple. She declared, “Chana, I’m taking you to meet Edie!” I followed Marilyn down four flights of stairs and across the long passageway connecting the two sides of the building. Marilyn knocked at a door through which wonderful aromas wafted. A woman with very short, very curly hair cracked it open. “Sorry, we’re eating dinner,” she said. “I just want my friend to see your refrigerator,” Marilyn explained.
“Come back in half an hour,” Edie smiled, closing the door. We hung out with Mrs. Hirsch for a while, then returned to see Edie’s frig. Specialty-colored appliances were expensive, so Edie had bought bright blue enamel and painted her own. My first visit revealed an entirely custom
Chana’s Corner By Chana Shapiro firstname.lastname@example.org
kitchen her husband, Howard, had built and expertly handmade curtains, finely recovered chairs, and intricately knitted afghans. Thus began our friendship, which lasted more than 50 years. Edie, a few years my senior and a seasoned and savvy New Yorker, taught me how to haggle for bargains on the Lower East Side. She knew where to get the best of everything at the lowest price, from kosher cheese to quality underwear. I thought I could sew; however, Edie taught me to master French seams and to match plaid. I still have the scallopedged curtains for which she tutored me, made from psychedelic fabric she found for 30 cents a yard. Edie hoped I’d become an expert knitter, but I didn’t.
I wanted her to decorate furniture. She didn’t. That was OK with both of us. Edie was a fabulous cook and baker, with gorgeous cookware, plates and textiles. After her divorce, she turned her kitchen into a mecca of kosher cuisine. She replaced her treyf kitchenware with new dishes and pots, all bought at great prices (before the internet!). She introduced bean sprouts, elephant garlic and strange mushrooms into my limited culinary repertoire. On Sunday mornings Edie and I often shared the Sunday New York Times, The Jewish Press and the Herald Tribune. I brought the papers; Edie made the food. Edith had a weekly commitment in Manhattan on Tuesday evenings. Our friend Marty (see above) had moved into the building, and we played Scrabble at Edie’s vintage table and babysat her son, Ian, while taking turns doing our laundry in Edie’s possibly illegally-installed washing machine (the corner laundromat was truly creepy). When Edie’s mother died, she sat shiva in our apartment. When we moved to Brooklyn, she watched our baby so we could unpack and get settled. Edie had prophesied that our child would be born on her son’s fourth birthday. It was a couple of weeks early, but, sure enough our Rachel and Ian share May 14. Edie’s years working for immigra-
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tion attorneys underscored her natural inclination to help others. She “mothered” Hispanic, Albanian, black and Muslim neighbors, and when she was healthy, she volunteered for her community council and worked hard for many Jewish causes. Everyone responded to her hearty laughter, welcoming kitchen and generous spirit. Two weeks ago, after years of declining health, Edith Turner died, having widely shared her skills, sense of fun and far-reaching heart. We talked on the phone before the end, wondering if we’d ever again cook, sew or shop for bargains together. I assured her that, no matter what, I’ll use only fresh garlic, never pay full price, and always measure twice- in her honor. The last thing we did together was laugh. ■
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