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In-Depth p. 6-7

Features p. 4

Collaborative Wednesday: All about everyone’s favorite way to de-stress!

Holiday Gift Guide: Struggling to buy the perfect gift? Check out our tips for holiday giving!

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Reid Gamble: Meet Edina’s Student Body President!

Volume 34 Issue 3

December 13, 2013

At Edina High School, some students don’t even know what coding is, much less that there’s a class for it. The future is filled with tons of coding jobs, and there aren’t nearly enough people to fill them. That perception is what National Coding Week is here to change. Coding is translating a regular language like English into a language a computer can speak. It can make a computer animate something, calculate something, or even make a website. This past week, almost any technology company you can name has been helping to run a week of coding education at EHS. Each math class in the school received a simple lesson in computer science. “A bunch of big organizations got together… they’re trying to get ten million students to participate by doing an hour of code. They have these little tutorials. Some of them are already up and running,” said AP Computer Science teacher Nancy Johnson. Many companies have even made simplified tutorials for teaching programming to students. Microsoft’s

Touchdevelop app, for instance, helps teach coding basics in a non-technical, kid-friendly format. Students who know code taught the various math classes simple coding techniques, wearing pairs of distinctive large black glasses and their Edina Coding shirts. They directed students to tutorials and helped them get started. This hour of coding was meant to help everyone as much as it possibly can, and thus has a wide range of activities suitable for any skill level. “[One of the goals] is to inform students that there is a script behind what they are doing on the computer... [and maybe] spark some interest,” said Johnson.   Over the next ten years, there will be approximately one million jobs that won’t be filled in coding, because of a lack of people who can code. These lost jobs add up to $500 billion in salaries. Not only does this mean that money can’t get out to the work force, but companies can’t move as quickly and efficiently without these people. The scope of this stems beyond

EHS, as seen recently with the national government. The healthcare website was running poorly if at all, and according to Johnson, “Even Obama said the other day… ‘I want to get in there and fix the, but I can’t code.’ So what happened was, three guys made a website that fixed it for free. They did it on weekends and nights. And it was so simple for them!” And this all ignores the demographics of people already taking Computer Science. Less than 20% are women, and less than 10% are African American or Hispanic. These people are part of the populous, and should be taking advantage of the incredible opportunity of learning programming and helping move humanity forward. There’s no reason for such a large amount of the country to just not be involved in an entire industry. Especially one that’s growing this rapidly. Jobs in programming also pay very highly, with salaries coming in at $100,000 a year according to Johnson. On average, these jobs are the thirdhighest-paying in the USA. Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor

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art by Olivia Chen

Coffee Giant Continues to Expand It’s no secret that coffee is a staple for many Edina students. Grabbing a latte each morning is an everyday ritual for some. Edina students will be happy, then, about the expansion of Starbucks into Centennial Lakes and Jerry’s Foods. The Centennial Lakes store stands on its own and is located across from Old Navy, and the Jerry’s location is stationed right in the center of the grocery store. Both stores opened in mid-November to mostly positive reactions among students. Starbucks hopes that its Centennial Lakes location will garner a lot of traffic. “I think it’s smart to add a Starbucks to the Centennial Lakes area because a lot people would go there,” said senior Elana Sokol.

“It’s supposed to the the busiest [location] in Minnesota,” explained junior Andrew Swanson, who works

ready had a large presence. “I think it’s quite unnecessary… I don’t really think yet another Starbucks location was needed,” said junior Katie Manderfeld, who isn’t a coffee drinker. Last year, Minneapolis-based Caribou Coffee confirmed that eighty of their locations would be closing, which would only increase Starbucks’ power in the area. However, Southern California’s The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf has photo by Ellie Weir recently opened at the Mall of America. Could at the Centennial Lakes location. “It this mean more competition for Starhas all state of the art equipment and a bucks? Starbucks fan Sokol said no. sleek drive-thru,” he continued. Swan- “Starbucks is the best. They have son described the work environment as the best atmosphere and the best being “exciting” and “friendly.” drinks,” she said. However, many feel that with five Drew Davis, news editor stores already in Edina, Starbucks al-

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art by Cici Holmquist

An “Hour of Code” Comes to EHS

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

The Baltimore Ravens were victorious over the San Francisco 49ers on Feb. 3 in Super Bowl XLVII, which also included an electrifying performance by Beyoncé and a power outage. On Feb. 15, Chelysabinsk, a Russian city, experienced a meteor explosion which injured 1,491 people and severely damaged many buildings. Edina’s 60th annual Pops Concert kicked off on Feb. 22, with a “Once Upon A Pops” theme. On Mar. 5, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez passed away and Vice President Nicolas Maduro took office. Edina won the Boys’ Hockey Class 2A state title against Hill Murray on Mar. 9. Argentina’s Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio is elected as the successor to Pope Benedict XVI, and he assumes the name Pope Francis while being the first Pope from South America. Tragedy hit on Apr. 15 at the Boston Marathon where two bombs exploded that killed three people, followed by a manhunt that lasted one day. On May 7, the Edina Girls’ Softball team won their first game of the season against Eden Prairie with a score of 2-1. The Minnesota Senate voted to legalize same-sex marriage with a vote of 37-30 on May 13. On Jun. 6, Edina Public Schools’ students were let out of school for summer break. The same day, Edward Snowden released classified NSA information to the media regarding a surveillance system being supported by companies such as Apple, Google, and Facebook. Kim Kardashian gave birth to daughter North West with boyfriend Kanye West on Jun. 15, to much scrutiny over the name “North.” “Glee” actor Cory Monteith died on Jul. 13 from an apparent drug overdose following a stint in rehab. On Jul. 18, Beyonce and One Direction came to Minnesota with their “Mrs. Carter Show” and “Take Me Home” tours being played at the Xcel Energy and Target Center, respectively. Prince William and Princess Kate welcomed Prince George into the world on Jul. 22 at St. Mary’s Hospital in London. On Aug. 1, Minnesota first recognized same-sex marriage, becoming the twelfth state to do so. Miley Cyrus twerked her way into the spotlight on Aug. 25, singing alongside “Blurred Lines” singer Robin Thicke. 2013’s VMAs will forever go down in history as the time Miley Cyrus declared her independence from being known as a childhood pop star. On Sept. 3, school began for every grade-school student in Edina. Students at Concord Elementary School spent their first day in their newly renovated building. President Barack Obama addressed the nation on Sept. 10, defending his decision to intervene in Syria and answering specific questions from letters that he received about the topic. Senator Ted Cruz spoke for 21 hours straight on Sept. 24 in an attempt to block Congress from funding the Affordable Healthcare Act. This was a major factor in the government shutting down in October. Edina won its second homecoming game in a row against Minnetonka on Sept. 27, with Jalen Giles and Mark Bryan being crowned as Queen and King. Edina Girls’ Tennis took home their seventeenth consecutive state title on Oct. 17, and Caitlyn Merzbacher won the singles championship. Nov. 2 was when Edina Boys’ Cross Country took second in state. Edina Thespians presented “Fiddler on the Roof” on Nov. 7, to a packed EPAC audience. A major typhoon struck the Philippines on Nov. 8, killing thousands of people. Edina students hit the dance floor at Sadies on Dec. 6, with lots of cowboys and cowgirls. Ellie Bender, Sophie Cannon, Noah Chestler, Will Hagens, Megan Hussey, Chiara Kohlmayr, Erik Lindquist, Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, John Osler, Farhia Osman, Audrey Sheehy, staff writers

The official newspaper of Edina High School



Volume 34 Issue 3

December 13, 2013

Trouble With art by Audrey Sheehy On Aug. 1, 2013, the Common Application released its fourth online version. Used by over five hundred colleges and universities, the site updated essay prompts and streamlined pages in hope to make the college application process a bit simpler for swamped seniors. Come the Nov. 1 Early Decision deadline, however, many students were experiencing difficulties with the website. In fact, forty-six universities were forced to push back their Early Decision deadline because of technical difficulties on the Common Application website. The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill originally had an Oct. 15 Early Decision deadline, but after receiving over 1,200 calls from students and parents who expressed difficulties with the Common Application, they decided to push the deadline back to Oct. 21. A common complaint had to do with the writing section of the Common Application. “When you copy and paste your essay into the Common Application, it formats really weird. I redid some parts of my essay and then had to go back and reformat the whole thing once I was in the Common App,” said senior Natalie Rauchle, who applied Early Decision to Oberlin College in Ohio. Senior Julia Barnett also experienced complications with the writing section. “[The Common Application] added a lot of tabs where there was never even a space. That was my main issue with it. Sometimes it counted one word as two words because it was an acronym,” noted Barnett. The writing section wasn’t the only source of confusion. Some students were met with problems when trying to make updates to their information on the Application. “Sometimes, it would just log me out or just say that there’s an error after I’ve been on it for a while,” said senior Claudia

Cooperstein. The act of actually sending in the Application created a whole new set of problems for some students. “When I tried to send in my St. Andrew’s application it wouldn’t send for a week because the PDF wouldn’t load for the ‘Preview and Submit’ button. So because of that, I didn’t think I’d be able to send in my Providence application either,” commented senior Nick Hauger. In response to these issues, the Common Application has begun staffing their site with a twenty-four hour help line. However, as problems are relatively unique from student to student it can be hard for the site to answer all the help requests. “We have been responding immediately to... issues as they occur, and we are proactively testing and improving the system to reduce the risk and impact of any future issues,” remarked Scott Anderson, The Common Application director of policy via NBC News. In addition to the Common Application, seniors have also been experiencing difficulties with the University of Wisconsin-Madison Application. “The Madison Application was worse than the Common App. It would take, like, ten minutes just to load the next page and then it would shut down on you,” remarked senior Ellen Brunker. Senior Grace Barcelow expressed similar concerns with the website. “It wouldn’t log me in, and once it did log me in it was super slow and wouldn’t go to the next page. It also kept on saying that I hadn’t completed a section even though I had,” said Barcelow. Because of technical issues, the Madison Freshman First Notification deadline was extended from Nov. 1 to Nov. 4. Clare Ling, online editor in-chief

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Winter Jubilee Concert The Edina High School Symphonic Orchestra, Concert Choir, and Concert Band will perform together in a Winter Jubilee Concert on Dec 19. “Each group is performing four pieces individually and all three groups will play two pieces together along with one piece for just the orchestra and choir. Also, thespians will be performing a few scenes from ‘Almost Maine,’” said EHS Orchestra Director Sarah Duffy. “I am most excited about coming together as a fine arts department and showcasing the talent of some musicians at this school,” Duffy stated. “I’m excited to display all the talent that the top fine arts groups of Edina High School has,” said senior Chloe Peyton, who plays flute and piccolo in the Concert Band. There are other reasons too. “I’m excited to have the opportunity to work with the Symphonic Orchestra and Concert Band,” stated senior Becca Braun, who sings alto in the Concert Choir.

Preparing for this concert isn’t easy though. “It’s tricky to find rehearsal times for all the groups involved. It is also going to be hard to find space on stage for everyone. This is a new event, so there will definitely be things that we aren’t sure of,” said Duffy. Nevertheless, the groups have been working hard and the concert contains a wide array or repertoire, including holiday favorites such as “Christmas on Broadway” and “What Sweeter Music.” Ticket proceeds from the concert will benefit the fine arts program here at Edina, helping them to fund a new orchestra shell for Fick Auditorium. The concert will take place at 7:00 in Fick. Tickets will cost $10 for reserved seats and $6 for general admission. Perry Bruder, news editor

photo by Cici Holmquist

Free All-Day Kindergarten for Everyone As of next school year, all-day kindergarten will be the Edina Public School’s primary kindergarten program. Last May, the Minnesota Legislature approved funding for all-day, every day kindergarten for all districts for the 2014-15 school year. The Edina School Board decided on Nov. 18 to implement the program in the district. In past years, Edina has offered both a free, half-day kindergarten, and a fee-based, all-day kindergarten. The district website says that even with the fee, however, three-fourths of the current kindergarteners are enrolled in the all-day program. Furthermore, 90% of prospective

kindergarten families surveyed by the district expressed an interest in the free, all-day kindergarten program. Lastly, not only will the district receive funding from the state, but Superintendent Ric Dressen said that by eliminating half-day kindergarten, midday transportation is cut as well, saving an approximate $150,000 a year. Kindergarteners in Michele Rock’s PM kindergarten class at Concord Elementary seem to like the idea as well. When asked what their favorite class activity is, the majority ruled coloring as their favorite. Then, after explaining to them that next year’s kindergarteners could have double the

photos by Lauren Petersen time to color, they deemed it unfair, and many said they wish they had extra time in school. Even the students who spent their mornings watching cartoons, playing with their mom, and taking trips to museums and libraries said they wished they could come to school for longer. With rising expectations for incoming first graders, all-day kindergarten is a great option to get kindergarteners ready. “The main benefit is simply... more time with the children and more time to get deeper into the curriculum,” said Con-

cord Elementary kindergarten teacher, Michele Rock. Though the interest is high and the cost is cut, Rock believes all-day kindergarten isn’t the best option for all families. “I think that there are still children who can benefit from the half-day option and families who would still choose it for their child if given the option,” said Rock Jack Hultstrand, print editor in-chief

Features 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

December 13, 2013

Volume 34 Issue 4


Ten Ways to De-Stress When You’re in Distress Everyone knows that during the school year, stress levels skyrocket – balancing homework, activities, and sports can be extremely hectic. Becoming more at peace with yourself will keep school from getting the best of you and help you keep stress at bay in the long run. With that in mind, here are ten great ways to keep your stress in check: 1. Go on a walk. Taking a walk outside can help clear your head of anxiety and reduces your stress hormones. Using ten minutes of your day to relax and enjoy nature can definitely make a difference when you feel distressed. 2. Turn off your phone. As teenagers, naturally, we always want to be connected to our friends. However, the pressure to reply to text messages or scroll through Twitter can cause you to feel stressed, so it’s better to just give it a break and step away from the screen for at least a little while. 3. Listen to music. Jamming to a couple of your favorite songs can help relieve you during a busy day, and it can leave you feeling calm or even motivated to finish work. Next time you feel tense, plug in your headphones and tune out the world for a few minutes. 4. Get plenty of sleep. Most teenagers think they can run on three hours of sleep if they try, but it’s never a good idea. Sleeping is the time for your body to re-energize and less than seven or eight hours simply isn’t enough. Getting a sufficient amount of sleep each night will make you feel rested the next day, with enough energy to complete tasks. 5. Eat healthy. It’s a natural instinct to stuff yourself with junk food or skip meals when you feel overwhelmed, but that’s unhealthy and you know it. Try eating fresh, healthy foods instead that will make you feel good (and look good). And don’t forget to eat breakfast – your

A True Edina Spartz-an Meet Andrew Spartz, a true-blooded Minnesota sports fan and Edina High School student. You might know him better, though, as the first person to greet you every morning with a smile and a high five at door three. Zephyrus recently got the privilege of speaking with Andrew. Zephyrus: We’ve heard that you’re very outgoing and that you like to greet people at the door. Why do you like to do that? Andrew Spartz: I like to meet new friends. I like to be friendly. Zephyrus: How do most people react when you greet them at the door, and how has that changed over time? A.S.: Some kids give me a really good response, with a high five or a good morning, and some people will photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz just walk by. I did the same thing at South View, and the reaction was about the same. Zephyrus: What else do you like to do in school? Do you have a favorite class? A.S.: Math. Zephyrus: Do you have a favorite EHS memory so far? A.S.: Probably the Homecoming dance. Zephyrus: What do you like most about the high school? A.S.: I like the teachers the best. Zephyrus: Do you have a favorite teacher? A.S.: [looking at the teachers in the room] I like them all. Zephyrus: Outside of school, what do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies? A.S.: I like to watch baseball! In the next five years I want to watch every major league baseball team play on their home field. I’m also a true blood Edina fan. Matt Woolsley, culture editor, and Will Hagens, staff writer

brain needs food to be able to function at school. 6. Get organized. No one can think and work properly when they are in a messy or chaotic atmosphere. Help rid mental stress by clearing out your room and organizing items. It’s also not a bad idea to keep your school supplies/papers in line. Write assignments down so you won’t have to worry about remembering them. 7. Take a hot bath/shower. There’s nothing more relaxing at the end of the day than a hot shower. It cleanses your body and mind, and can reduce stress, too. If you have more time, take a long soak in a hot bath. You won’t believe how calm you will feel afterwards. 8. Spend time with friends. Being around people can make you feel happier, and laughter is a good way to release nerves. It’s completely fine to spend time alone, but surrounding yourself with people you enjoy being with is a good habit. 9. Exercise. Make a pact with yourself to get out of the house at least a few times a week to go on a run, do yoga, or visit the gym. It gets the blood flowing in your body, and being active is always a great way to pass time. Next time your nerves get the best of you, put your mind and body to work with exercise. 10. Have a positive attitude. If you are constantly putting yourself down, it is difficult to keep up with the things that really matter. Maintaining a positive mindset and giving off good vibes will make your life easier, especially when you’re anxious. Afterwards, you will realize that getting rid of unwanted stress is easier than you thought. Mia Hilali, staff writer

EHS’s Finest

While we all see the security guards in the hall each day, few of us really know them. Security guard Brandon Descher began working at Edina High School five years ago after acquiring too many injuries while on his former twenty-four-year job with the Edina Police Department. He currently has a daughter who is a sophomore, and another child who has already graduated from EHS. His previous job included surveillance with the state patrol and casework that relied heavily upon his detective skills. This involves investigating check forgery and fraud, including one memorable raid in which in individual had accumulated over $185,000 worth of clothing. In another high-profile case, a couple had a $2.6 million check embezzled. In one instance, Descher even flew in a plane during the pursuit of a vehicle. “You lose a lot of perspective in a plane,” he said. While this was an interesting part of his police career, it is not one he would particularly enjoy repeating. What may surprise some is that the only true fight he ever had to break up occurred on his first day on the job five years ago. Aside from that, “EHS does not have a very violent student body,” he noted. photo by Jack Hultstrand He made the switch from the police force to EHS at the age of fifty-four after acquiring “too many jobrelated injuries.” “I had friends that worked here and kids that went to school here,” he said. “It was a really natural progression.” Descher believes Edina is a very safe learning community where individuals are well-behaved. In fact, the few problems he gets each year stem from “parents in the parking lot that don’t understand, or choose to ignore my hand signals.” “[I see] five hundred cars in fifteen minutes, over 86,000 cars a year and I only have to cite one or two,” he stated. “It’s an affluent school, people are well-educated, and there are no major socio-economic issues,” Descher said. Bess Pearson, opinion editor

Santa, Do You Even Math Bro? $20, that’s about $11 billion dollars in gifts. Of course, all the gifts are made by Santa’s elves, but if one day he decided to mix things up, this is the cost he’s facing. 5. Assumed he visited 91.8 million homes, he would travel against the rotation of the Earth, giving him fortyeight hours. That would give him about 3.4 nanoseconds per home.These stats truly show that Santa clearly defies the laws of science, proving once again the true magic of Christmas. Ellie Bender, staff writer

art by Sophie Cannon

Every Christmas, Santa delivers gifts to all the good girls and boys. While many care only about what is left behind on the morning of Dec. 25, what does he really go through on that hopefully snowy night? 1. According to, there are over two billion people under eighteen in the world, Santa only caters to about 15% based on religion. With a 3.5 child-to-household ratio according to, that comes out to around 91.8 million homes. 2. With most households leaving an average of 4 cookies, Santa finishes the night with a whooping 367.2 million cookies in his stomach 3. Seeing as an average cookie has around 150 calories, according to, he’s polishing off around fifty-five billion calories. That means logically, at the end of the night he would be carrying an extra 15.7 million pounds. 4. While the average kid these days gets about 6 gifts from Santa, usually priced around



Volume 34 Issue 3

December 13, 2013

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Catching Up With the Surviving Winter for the Pessimist Common Cold

art by Jessica Lin Zephyrus: Naso Pharyngitis, thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. It’s an honor to have you here. Common Cold: My pleasure. I’ve actually never been interviewed before, so this is very exciting! Zephyrus: So, tell us a little bit about your role in people’s lives. We know you’ve been very busy, especially in this last month or so. C.C.: You know, you’re right; my job gets very exhausting at times, but I just love to send my minions crawling up the nostrils of unsuspecting victims. It just gives me such delight! You know, no one would be truly complete without experiencing my talents at least once a year, especially when the weather is changing and getting dreary. I think of it as more like a favor than anything else. And, believe it or not, I actually have a contract with Kleenex and Purell. It’s a wonderful partnership.

Zephyrus: What’s your favorite symptom to give others? C.C.: The phlegm. Ya gotta love phlegm, you know. Oh, it just makes me so excited! Zephyrus: When is your favorite time to surprise people with a cold? C.C.: I would definitely have to say when they least expect it. I’m sneaky like that, you know. It always pains me to get babies and the elderly sick, but it’s just the circle of life. I’ll let you in on a little secret: my favorite is getting students- especially in high school and collegeright before finals. Basically, any time I sense there’s something important, I strike. It’s partly my job to teach young adults how to deal with whatever’s thrown their way. I’m actually helping everyone I touch. It really is a great job I have. Zephyrus: How do you feel about other viruses and sicknesses that go around at the same time as you? C.C.: I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I triumph over other diseases. I mean, people obviously want to get me instead of the flu, mono, or bronchitis, right? Plus, I’m very competitive. My biggest competitor would probably be Fanny Influenza. I can’t stand her. I was throwing up for weeks because of her just a few months ago. Ayay-ay. Especially during the months of November and December, we always have a head to head. Remember the H1N1 swine flu epidemic a few years back? She won that year, but, trust me, my family and I won’t give up hope or the title of most irritating sickness without a fight. Sarah Aydinalp, in-depth editor

photo by Jack Hultstrand As an extreme winter pessimist myself, there is nothing I dread more than winter. The cold, the lack of sunlight, the never ends. One thing I’ve learned is that it doesn’t help to be negative. Here are some tips for those of you who hate winter as much as me: 1) Treat Yourself: Surround yourself with all your favorite things! Put up posters of your favorite bands and celebrities. When you’re having a bad day, treat yourself to a drink at Starbucks. 2) Stay Healthy: With a lack of vitamins and sunlight in the winter, make sure to try extra hard to supplement. Make sure to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Utilize the sunlight while it’s there! The vitamin D from the sunlight is essential for a good mood. 3) Get Involved: Looking forward to something gives you purpose. Find some-

thing to get excited for and get active this winter season. This could be anything from supporting someone to participating. Consider joining an intramural team or trying a new sport. Not a fan of winter sports? Be the ultimate Superfan. Make an effort to go to every hockey or basketball game. There’s always something else! Support theater, volunteer, or find some other way to make the most of the season. 4) Fake It ‘Till You Make It: Sometimes, just pretending you like something long enough helps you convince yourself you do! A strong belief in something, even if it’s fake, can help you fight your negative views. Most people are familiar with the placebo effect, which occurs when patients take medicine that they believe will help, but actually has no proven effect on the patient. Patricia Leach, features editor

The Guide to the Perfect Gift Brother/ Sister: The key to the perfect gift for a sibling is to ask yourself, “What do I want for Christmas?” Sharing a household means that whatever you get them, you get yourself. The perfect gift for a brother? A Gucci handbag.

Best Friend: Remember: this person will probably still like you regardless of the gift you get them. Keeping this in mind, feel free to be generous while visiting your favorite stores (i.e. the dollar store).

Boyfriend/ Girlfriend: Sure, you remind your sweetheart how much you love them every day, but are you sure they really know? What better way to remind them than to go on Facebook and cut out every single picture of them? Then, paste it on a personalized keychain. Perhaps one with a locating device secretly planted in it?

Teachers: The long time teachers spend away from you on their holiday break will probably be difficult for them. Chocolates and gift cards will help ease their pain and encourage them to be generous as we head into the dreaded finals week.

Mother/ Father: What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted but never received? Socks. Everyone loves socks, especially parents who really have no choice but to say they love your gift and move on. Money tight right now? You can always regift your own!

Someone you don’t really like but who already got you a present and you feel guilty so you feel like you have to get them one too: Gum? Old candy wrappers? It’s always good to recycle. Emily Kraft, staff writer


Sports 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

December 13, 2013

Volume 34 Issue 3

There’s No Place Like Dome Edina Upgrades Its Sports Facilities

Long have Edina residents taken pride in their athletics and strived for excellence. But one thing has stood defiantly in the way; winter. With the exception of the winter sports, of course, Minnesota’s long winters limit athletic development and training. With no field to practice on, spring, summer, and fall athletes trade their cleats for weights in the weight room, and maybe mugs of cocoa. They go into a sort of hibernation until the fields clear up and the sun comes out. When it’s time to emerge from their dens and back into their sports, athletes often feel rusty and have lost significant opportunity for progress and development. Spring sports are directly impacted by winter when it overstays its welcome well into April, as it did last year. They are forced to postpone tryouts and practices, hold them in a gym, or scramble to rent expensive lastminute dome time from other cities. Baseball had to postpone and cancel games last year. Lacrosse held a team shoveling session on a Saturday to clear the high school turf of snow, only to have it snow again a few days after. With a recent city council decision, however, no more will athletics suffer at the hand of Old Man Winter. The grass soccer field at Braemar will be destroyed, and out of the

ashes shall rise a sports dome. Complete with a turf field and a walking track outside, Edina has created a valuable weapon in the war against winter. The idea for this dome has been bouncing around forever, even before head football coach Reed Boltmann made his home in the weight room. “I’ve been here now fifteen years; I’ve been on probably four different committees with the school district and there’ve been different plans from one turf to a community combination with the city and the school district to one with just the school district...The main issue was how to pay for it,” explained Boltmann. With the new plan, however, commitments have been contracted by the Edina youth baseball, soccer, football and lacrosse associations to add $30 to their registration fee for the next twenty years. This will almost completely

cover the cost of the project, and relatively few hours need to be actually rented out in order to break even. There will also be slight tax increases on homes: Boltmann estimates it will be around $30-$40 a year. Costs of replacing the turf and possibly the dome material after ten years have also been incorporated into the plan. Overall it is the thorough, definitive plan for a sports dome that the district has been searching for. The plan doesn’t just art by Audrey Sheehy stop at a dome, however. Pamela Park will be receiving two new turf fields, one set up for football, and one geared towards soccer and lacrosse. These and the dome are meant to reduce the scheduling problems the city has faced due to its a lack of fields. They will also allow for fewer weather-impacted practices and cancellations. What about hockey, you ask, eh? The Edina Hockey Association has limited ice

time in their own city and is forced to spend more than half of their time at facilities other than Braemar. Outdoor park rinks are usually more suited for a scrappy pick-up game then any sort of organized hockey practice or figure skating. Braemar will be receiving a unique outdoor rink unlike the rest. It will be roofed with open sides, linked to Braemar’s cooling system, coming equipped with heated benches. This will help Edina teams get more in-house ice time in the winter, and just be pretty flat-out awesome. The plan marks a new chapter in Edina athletics and is set to not only benefit the current athletics program, but also to attract new families to the city and encourage former Edina athletes to return with their children and help continue our legacy of greatness. “I just want to say a big thanks to the city council and mayor for stepping up and voting this to go. It’s been a lot of people for many years trying to make this work with private dollars and public money and it’s just rewarding for the city,” said Boltmann. Tanner Sparrow, sports editor

Outdoor Rinks: Where Legends Are Born Edina is widely known as “The City of Hockey,” and if you ever walk by an outdoor rink in the winter, you’ll see why. Each park has a loyal following and a legion of advocates who defend it as number one. Which leads to the question: which neighborhood park reigns supreme? Every person has a personal preference on which park has the best skating rink. Many factors go into this decision. “Creek Valley is the best because the warming house is awesome and the ice is in great condition all the time,” said sophomore Claire Petersen. “Highlands rink is by far the [best] rink out there because all the [good stick handlers] that play there, including Zach Parise. He played there one time,” said senior Mark Harmon. “If you go to Arden you will find a mag-

ic that is indescribable. The old fashioned warming house and the wilderness that surrounds it is something you will not find at any of the other parks. The little details such as the bridge that runs between the trees in the middle of the rink or the walk over the river across that bridge onto the second rink are things that have become near and dear to my heart growing up,” said junior Matt Masterman. “My favorite rink is Cornelia. I have so many childhood memories there with some of my best buddies. [It also] has the best warming house and the nicest rink attendants,” said junior Nate Stang. Which park deserves the title of Edina’s best skating destination? In the end, you may have to scout it out and decide for yourself. Madeline Marker, staff writer                                                           

photo by Jamie Mustful

EHS College Sports Recruits As many seniors are spending hours applying to college this fall, some students have needed to invest even more time in the pro-

cess: those who are being recruited to play sports in college. Senior Natalie Rauchle is playing lacrosse in college for photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz Oberlin in Ohio. She began the recruitment process junior year, with help from the coaches of her club lacrosse team. In order to make herself known to colleges, Rauchle “competed in out-of-state tourBuzz Rehnberg and Natalie Rauchle have committed to connaments where tinue their athletic careers at Cornell and Oberlin, respectively. college coaches

are invited to watch the players.” “I [also] looked into a few schools that I was interested in and emailed the coaches. I sent them my game schedules and... introduced myself as a student and a player,” she explained. An important part of choosing which school to play at is visiting and doing an overnight stay. “[Colleges] make your whole schedule, plan your tour, interview, and meetings with professors. Then, you can spend the night with the team,” said Rauchle. Senior Buzz Rehnberg added that visiting schools is important because it helps them understand that you are serious about considering them. Rehnberg, who plans on swimming at Cornell next fall, said that in addition to considering which school would be best for swimming, he also needed to consider his

education, and then decide on a school that was both academically strong and had a good swim team. “First you have to find a school where you know you’d be happy and you can see yourself spending four years. You also have to decide how much of a commitment you’re willing to make to the sport, whether it be [Division I], where the sport is a top priority, or [Division III], where you’re more focused on your education,” explained Rauchle. If you want to play sports in college, Rehnberg said that it is important to “get good grades to keep your options open. Coaches are really impressed with a high level athlete who also can keep a high GPA and get high test scores. It shows perseverance and determination.” Hannah Sommerville, managing editor



Volume 35 Issue 3

December 13, 2013

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Finding the Perfect Burrito My mom grew up in Mexico, and as a result, I was raised on Mexican food. My first burrito has since been blurred by my first tamale and enchilada. I do, however, remember my first Chipotle burrito. Chipotle has a special place in many of our hearts, and for some it has become a tradition. “I usually go once a week on average. Sometimes even two or three times per week in the summer,” said junior Bobby Terwilliger. I used to love Chipotle, and I still do, but since having experienced the unsurpassable quality of Panchero’s, I can no longer stand idly by as my peers obsess over the subpar burritos offered at Chipotle and Qdoba. Have you ever realized how important bread is to a good sandwich? Take ham and cheese as an example. Throw that on some Wonder Bread and you’ll probably throw it away. Switch in a nice ciabatta roll and suddenly you are the envy of the lunch room. The same rule applies to tortillas and burritos. For a tortilla to be of the highest quality, it has to be opalescent and have a slightly stretchy texture when cooked lightly.

At Chipotle and Qdoba the tortillas are already pressed and kept in a plastic bag right up until you order. Only then do they throw it on a press for a whopping five seconds, heating it up just enough so that it’s already cold by the time you start eating. These tortillas are about as white as a sock cleaned with Clorox, and also tend to flake away around the edges, falling short of the expectations for an optimal tortilla. “[At Panchero’s] they make their tortillas fresh and then cook them on their grill top,” said junior Austin Buyse. This dedication to details creates a perfectly pliable tortilla every time that adds flavor and a perfect texture, instead of just a vessel for meat and cheese. The big agent of flavor, of course, is the ingredients. Chipotle has this much going for it: the ingredients are very tasty and their guacamole is unparalleled in flavor. Up until now, I have neglected Qdoba. I went there for the first time just recently, and was left thoroughly disappointed. Its food tasted and looked exactly like Chipotle, except for the fact

photo by Zoe Gunderson

Daylight Savings Beep beep! Your bedside alarm clock on Sunday, Mar. 9 says that it’s 8:00 a.m., but thanks to Daylight Saving Time, it’s actually 9:00 a.m. Because you were being a normal human being and forgot to roll your clock forward, you will now be an hour late to anything you had planned today. It kinda stinks, doesn’t it? Daylight Saving Time is the practice of advancing clocks one hour during the lighter months so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. Clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Frankly, DST is a real pain in the arse. Sure, in the fall, it’s a real treat to be able to gain an hour and catch up on your Z’s, but in the spring, losing an hour stinks. A trick to remembering whether you’re gaining or losing an hour is contained in a simple mnemonic phrase: spring forward and fall back. This may sound like an unnecessary piece of advice, but believe me, mistakes have been made. For example, my family has gotten to church an hour early in the fall and then an

Zephyrus Staff

hour late in the spring, and only left to scratch our heads. There have been a few erroneous theories on who, where, and how DST started. Benjamin Franklin has been falsely accused of starting it, although he did satirically propose the idea to Parisians in 1784. But DST actually started by other means. In the United States, it was adopted during World War I, as money was a real issue at that time and citizens needed to get the most bang for their electric bill buck as possible. By starting the day an hour earlier, they had an hour more of natural light, thus an hour less of artificial light, conserving the fuel spent on lighting. Really, though, DST is outdated. Today, why would adding an hour to the day help conserve fuel? We have electricity now. Get with the picture! The only positives of DST in my opinion are that little kids don’t have to wait for their school busses in the dark. But hey, that builds character. Erik Lindquist, staff writer

that it was just a little bit blander. They did offer a good queso that Chipotle doesn’t have, but it was only a blip amidst the other flavors in my burrito. Panchero’s has the best of both worlds. They offer a delicious queso like Qdoba, and their ingredients are just as tasty as Chipotle’s. Burrito construction is what can make or break your day at any of these places. Chipotle and Qdoba both rely on tinfoil to hold together the contents of their poorly folded and overstuffed burritos. Left in the hands of a burrito amateur, this can result in the shameful grabbing of a fork to finish off what remains of what was once a masterpiece. Panchero’s, with the help of their fresh and pliable tortillas, folds their burritos to perfection. “It’s like a small child by the time they’re done with it,” continued Buyse. With no need for foil, Panchero’s burritos are the perfect package for simple enjoyment of a perfect blend of flavor and texture. Panchero’s also offers the ‘Bob,’ a tool which mixes all of the ingredients together in order to provide a better distribution of flavors. This seems like another quality move by Panchero’s, but being able to bite into a pocket of sour cream or cheese every now and again at Chipotle and Qdoba is the one thing I miss when I venture to Panchero’s. I realize it is hard to break tradition here in Edina, but do your taste buds a favor. Instead of making your weekly, bi-weekly, or tri-weekly trip to Chipotle or Qdoba, consider what Panchero’s has to offer (for the same price I might add) and head over to 5200 W 84th Street in Bloomington and see for yourself what you have been missing by remaining loyal. Matt Woolsey, news editor

Dance Drama Sadie’s was just last week, but plans for Sweethearts are already in the making. Dances at Edina are highly regarded by most students. The formal Homecoming, Sweethearts, and Prom dances are known as a great time, as well as the informal Sadies dance. However, many rumors of sophomore girls fighting over their dates have leaked to the general public. Really, ladies? I know you think your date to the dances are paramount in your life, but let me fill you in on a little secret: they’re not. In my eyes, dances offer an opportunity to ask someone fun, have a good time, and relax. So don’t be too disappointed when your friend “steals” your date, because to me, it’s more like a chance to make new connections or renew an old friendship. Just do your best not to make too many theatrics out of the night. Nobody wants to know about your drama. I can’t say I’m planning to attend any dances in my high school career. My idea of a successful weekend night involves inordinate amounts of junk food and a little too much Netflix. Dressing up, taking pictures, and going to a dance is too much effort for a simple guy like me. In my opinion, if you plan to take part in PDA on the big night, save it for the afterparty. I’m sure the last thing people come to the dance for is to watch you and your date (at least I hope it’s your date) displaying such things in the middle of the dance floor. One more thing: make sure you have a fun evening, as these dances only come around so many times each school year. Noah Chestler, staff writer

Starbucks Overload Starbucks is the center of Edina’s universe. I don’t mind Starbucks, and I even indulge in a Frappuccino from time to time, but the number of Starbucks in Edina is getting to be too much. Edina was already crawling with Starbucks locations before the recent expansion: one on Vernon and another by 50th and France. We already had one near Barnes and Noble, one in Southdale Mall, and another in Target. For some reason though, Edina residents still thought they were lacking Starbucks. So, now two more locations have opened, one by Centennial and another inside Jerry’s. The one in Jerry’s is only a two minute walk away from another location. Seven Starbucks, all within driving and some even walking distance from each other. Like I’ve said, I don’t mind Starbucks, but this is getting way out of hand. Edina doesn’t need more Starbucks locations because there are already plenty. Yes, I’ve heard that in Seattle there is one on every block, but was Starbucks started in Minnesota?

First, not everyone likes Starbucks coffee, so if Edina is overrun with it, then what can those people drink? I believe that instead of Starbucks, Edina’s shopping center should invest more in local and lesser known coffee shops. This gives everyone more variety. Seven Stars Coffee, near Imperial House, was well liked, but, sadly, it closed a while back. On the bright side though, another coffee shop, Little Pete’s, has taken its place. Cafés such as Little Pete’s should replace the commercial franchises that are taking over Edina. Starbucks isn’t cheap either. While tea and regular coffee prices aren’t that bad ($1.75 for a large hot brewed coffee for example), it’s the frappuccinos and other fancy drinks that are the killer. A tall Frappe costs $3.25, and for a vente (or large) it is $4.25. Also, they just changed their pastries and boosted their prices last summer, so drinks aren’t the only thing to worry about. Running over to Starbucks every time you get thirsty will cost you. Sure, you can say Edina is rich, but wouldn’t you want to spend all that money you waste on coffee on something worthwhile?

photo by Ellie Weir

print editor in chief: Jack Hultstrand online editor in chief: Clare Ling copy editor: Micah Osler art editor: Sarah Nealon managing editor: Hannah Sommerville advertising manager: Will Hagens online page editor: Hannah Sommerville news editors: Drew Davis, Perry Bruder features editors: Matt Dulas, Patricia Leach sports editor: Tanner Sparrow in-depth editor: Sarah Aydinalp opinion editors: Bess Pearson, Jackson Van Dyke culture editors: Matt Woolsey, Alexi Diem back page editors: Jack Hultstrand, Clare Ling, Micah Osler, Sarah Nealon, Hannah Sommerville, Matt Dulas staff writers: Adair Andre, Ellie Bender, Sophie Cannon, Noah Chestler, Will Hagens, Mia Hilali, Megan Hussey, Hannah Kloos, Chiara Kohlmayr, Emily Kraft, Erik Lindquist, Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, John Osler, Farhia Osman, Audrey Sheehy, Griffin Thompson head photographer: Bridgit Loeffelholz photographers/artists: Genevieve Anderegg, Sarah Aulik, Sophie Cannon, Oliva Chen, Zoe Gunderson, Lydia Gutowsky, Cici Holmquist, Martina Horns, Jessica Lin, Katie Manderfeld, Jamie Mustful, Lauren Petersen, Alex Riddle, Casey Robinson, Audrey Sheehy, Jessica Smith, Annika Smith-Ortiz, Ellie Weir, Emma Westbrook graphic designer: Katie Manderfeld advisor: Elizabeth Barniskis Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.


Opinion 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

December 13, 2013

Volume 34 Issue 3

Secret Santa?

Nope! Yes, it’s December. Deep sigh. The holidays are here, ready to bring us joy, gifts, hairripping stress, and crippling anxiety. At Edina High School, one tradition never fades: Secret Santas. Sure, the secret gift-giving might be something fun to do with your friends, but in my opinion, it’s totally not worth it. In my defense, I’m not a Grinch, but I have assessed the pros and cons of Secret Santas and deemed it a waste of my time. Think about it: you get together with your “group” of friends, randomly select a name, and spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what to get them. From the outside it appears to be easy, fun, and exciting, but in reality, it only brings pressure, tension, disappointment, and, sometimes, anger. Yes, I said it: anger. I’m the type of person who spends a lot of time trying to concoct the perfect creative yet totally useful gift. Every time, it ends up failing while causing me to go insane. Plus, what happens when you draw someone you don’t know well? You end up conversing with the people that know them really well, and suddenly, everyone knows you’re their Secret Santa. So, what’s the point? Say you don’t spend time on the gift to make it thoughtful because you just aren’t the creative type. Then, because of your epic fail or lack of enthusiasm, you are judged as

Pokémon Oh no. It seems that Jigglypuff, a cute, pink puffball, has used its Charm ability on me and caused me to fall in love with Pokémon! Sure, to many, the Pokémon franchise is only for kids twelve and under, and if you’re older and you play, you must be the epitome of a nerd. But to me, the franchise is simply timeless. Pokémon is a role-playing game involving cards, Nintendo video games, and TV cartoons. In elementary school, I went through a two year craze of rushing home from school to catch the 4:00 p.m. episode and participate in incessant Pokémon card trading with the neighbors. Although I’m sure there are those out there that enjoy every part of the franchise, the part I appreciate the most is the series of video games. I’m going to apologize in advance for using a clichéd phrase, but the Pokémon games are an excellent example of “don’t knock it till you try it.” Try investing an hour of your life to a trial of a Pokémon game, but beware of severe addiction. If you’re willing to attempt this, you might as well take a hiatus from any relationship you have because you might be as hooked as a Magikarp on a Good Rod. In every game, right from the get-go, you make an irreversible decision about which Pokémon you’ll start with, and no matter your choice, you’ll love your Pokémon as if it was your own child. The rest of your game will consist of “catching them all,” beating your rival, infiltrating the bad guys’ secret hideout and battling your way to the top to become champion. Erik Lindquist, staff writer

a bad gift giver. This notion is a terrible one in the world of Secret Santas. Nobody wants you to be their Secret Santa, and you’re left in the dust with the festive, Secret Santa-loving people shooting you dirty looks. On the other hand, let’s say you spent a ton of time planning out your gift. You hand it to your recipient beaming and holding your own gift. The anticipation is nerve-wracking. You open it and it is the crappiest, least thoughtful gift in the world (like the $10 ITunes gift card – yes, we’ve all done that one). That’s when you get upset, even angry. Tell me, what was the point in spending all that time when your own Secret Santa can’t put time into your gift? But wait: it’s not all about getting something in return right? Believe me, in Secret Santas, it is, especially when you are putting thought and effort into the process. In the end, you never win. You end up wasting time, spending money, and stressing yourself out for no reason. Here’s my proposal, or solution: just get your really good best friends something and stay out of it. The pressure is too extreme and the drama just isn’t worth it. Audrey Sheehy, staff writer

Snowflakes pouring in, the sweet smell of candy canes and cocoa, and of course the vast assortment of horrifyingly hideous sweaters. All of these things help to welcome in the holiday spirit, but what truly makes this season so warm and fuzzy are giving and friendship. And what’s more synonymous with giving and friendship than Secret Santa? Secret Santa (or Secret Snowflake, as some call it) is a time honored tradition, and for good reason. This exchange of gifts, big or small, is a fantastic way to make people around you smile. Who doesn’t like getting little gifts here and there? There are so few opportunities during the year to give gifts and spread some love, so taking advantage of this tradition is a must. Some may argue that the holidays shouldn’t be about spending money and gifts, but Secret Santa doesn’t have to be about that at all. Either set a low price limit, like five to ten dollars, easily spent at the dollar section of Target. Even better, have a “homemade gifts only” policy. That way, Secret Santa can be more about sincerity and kindness rather than who can buy the coolest gift. Plus, aside from showing off your amazing crafting abilities with paper, pipe cleaners, and glitter, home-

Festivus for the Rest of Us

Late December. The sun sets early in the afternoon, and by evening, lights are twinkling along the avenues. The air is chilly, but inside, the house is warm and filled with people. My family sits around the table, eating a festive dinner, enjoying one another’s company, and celebrating the season by listing the ways other family members have disappointed us over the past year. This ain’t Christmas. This is Festivus, the “Seinfeld”-created holiday that celebrates everything a modern-day Christmas lacks: anticommercialism, sarcasm, repressed anger, and intergenerational physical violence. And every Dec. 23, when it rolls around again, my family takes some time out of our alltoo-crowded lives to celebrate an unholy day of snarkiness. To a Festivus purist, the holiday begins with the assembly of the Festivus pole, an unadorned aluminum pole of middling height meant to represent freedom from Christmas’s consumerism. Soon thereafter comes the Airing of the Grievances, where each person lists how other family members have disappointed them since the past Festivus. At the conclusion of dinner, the head of the family chooses another person at dinner whom he or she wishes to wrestle and, in a rite called the Feats of Strength, Festivus does not end until the head of the household is subdued. Throughout, mundane events like the successful operation of a light switch or a roast only being somewhat burned are hailed, to great huzzahs, as Festivus Miracles. Why does my family celebrate this most sarcastic of holidays? Well, because that’s how

art by Genevieve Anderegg and Annika Smith-Ortiz

we are. We’re the kind of people who rent “Sharknado” and watch it all the way through. We occasionally purchase music ironically – my dad once bought William Hung’s Christmas album, and listened to it, and then gave it to friends and loved ones. And I’ve got a feeling we’re not alone. For many of us, Christmas is an emotionally charged holiday, full of genuine hope and love, but accompanied by a hefty dose of ritual and tradition. Sometimes, after you’ve heard “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” seventeen times and have been accosted by numerous mall Santas over the course of a single hopping trip, you’re ready to celebrate a holiday without gaudy rites or beloved traditions. You’re ready to celebrate a season without a reason – you’re ready to celebrate Festivus. If you make that choice, you’ll find that it’s getting easier by the year to celebrate America’s least touching holiday. Some brave soul has set up a Festivus pole lot in Milwaulkee, but a quick Google search will find you any number of fine retailers willing to sell you a flimsy aluminum pole. And if you just need to get into the spirit, you only need to cross the border into Wisconsin, America’s Festivusland, where the Governor himself placed a Festivus pole beneath the State Capitol’s rotunda back in 2005. So, what are you waiting for? Get out there! Air some grievances! Wrestle some loved ones! Snark it up! For Festivus, my dear children, comes but once a year. Micah Osler, copy editor


made gifts show the person that you truly care. Another reason why Secret Santa is so wonderful is that it’s a great opportunity to get closer with someone whom you might otherwise not have thought about. If you draw a person you don’t know very well, Secret Santa is a perfect way to figure out what makes that person unique and maybe even find some common interests. Plus, at the end of the game when you reveal who you had, it’s awesome to see their reaction and start a new friendship. From my personal experience, Secret Santa has always been a positive, friendship growing experience that I looked forward to having all year. The holidays are quickly approaching so if I were you, I’d make like Santa, make a Secret Santa list, and check it twice! Sophie Cannon, staff writer


We all know those people, and to be honest most of us are these people at some point: spending our lives putting people down by bringing ourselves up in a sick, twisted, immature social mercantilism that just keeps happening. And keep in mind, this isn’t a personal attack. This is a description of something I see every day in the hallway, in text conversations, and all over the internet. It’s just great that you smoke, and that you hang out with your cool friends who smoke, and that you did all these awesome risky stereotypically teenager things last night. Guess what? You’re definitely not better than anyone for it. Don’t try to pretend that just because you don’t exactly think about what you do, have to rebel against “the Man,” and are willing to sign away your future that you’re better than me. Oh, you got in trouble with the police? Oh, you were out breaking the law and it was so hilarious when you got busted? Oh, wow, you’re bad to the bone. Next time you rob a bank, I hope you come to me right away to brag about your rebelliousness. And it’s not a surprise. You can look at almost any celebrity twitter account, from Amanda Bynes to Miley Cyrus, All they do is brag about how crazy and wild their lives are. How can we expect people not to do this when the people they see every day do it? Just as bad are the people who spend their whole lives chasing a statistic. You beat me by one point on the ACT? Wow, I’m glad you spent your whole life preparing for that one point. You beat me on that test? You really didn’t need to share that. And you’re not a better person for doing so. In fact, I would argue that you’re a worse person for basing your success in life on who knows how well you did. Maybe I’m wrong that you think you’re better than me. But that’s just a harmful way to live your life, to yourself and to everyone around you. Honestly, just be happy with yourself. Don’t tell everyone about you rebellion or academic success. Why did you do those things in the first place? To impress everyone, or to be a better person? But, what is worth bragging about? To read more, visit Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor


Culture Volume 34 Issue 3

December 13, 2013

R ll Film art by Olivia Chen

The Case for Trailers Before Movies Are film trailers before the actual film at the movies a great thing or just an annoyance? Personally, I believe that trailers are fantastic. Whenever I hit the theaters, I always make sure to make it to the movie on time in order to see the trailers. The trailers get viewers like myself pumped for upcoming films. The film we are actually there to see could be a complete flop, yet trailers still give us something to look forward to. If you say you don’t like trailers, don’t lie, we both know that you always whisper to your moviegoing companion regarding whether you want to see each film or not. When I first saw the trailer for “The Wolf of Wall Street” I couldn’t contain my excitement and I had to express it to the whole theatre, not just my buddy. The twenty-minute period provides people with time to inhale all of their treats and get them safely stowed so they aren’t an annoyance during the actual film. Imagine everyone opening candy wrappers and crackling popcorn bags during the film. Yeah, it would be annoying. For film lovers like myself, the trailers are a double victory. I look at it like this: sure, you are paying to see the film, but you get a little bonus by seeing trailers that may be new. Some of the best films don’t have strong television advertising cam-

paigns, and so the only way to hear about them is before films. The trailers keep us updated. “I think trailers are okay; they let you know what’s coming. [They] give you time if you are running late,” said junior Abdi Sahal. Trailer haters must agree on that: everyone runs late to a film once in a while and the trailers give you some timing leeway. Another simple solution- if you hate them so much, just skip them altogether. You know they are going to last for about twenty minutes, so show up fifteen minutes later than the show time and bam, you’re golden. “If I have to sit through [trailers], they’re bad, but the fact that they exist is okay,” said senior Max Klein. He may not enjoy trailers, but he certainly knows to show up late. The only time you would actually be forced to sit through a series of trailers would be when you go to a films premiere. When you’re putting in the effort to go see a premiere, sitting through the trailer shouldn’t be an issue. But, if it really is still an issue, make a game out of it and star hunt. “I get to see what movies are coming, and sometimes there’s one with Zach Efron,” noted senior Maddie Fischer. Alexi Diem, culture editor

No Place LikeWork for the Holidays

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Buying then Crying People buy things a lot. There are a lot of things that can be bought, like scissors, or chips, or Kleenex, or a car, or even a house. Sometimes when one buys something, it ends up sucking and they hate it. This leads them to wish that they never bought the thing in the first place, and then they become very angry. So, what kinds of objects are the most common source of this feeling? Usually, they’re stupid things. By stupid things, I mean useless objects bought on a whim and of very little use to the buyer. One time, I bought a stupid country music CD for five bucks because I thought the couple on the cover looked funny. I regretted this a lot because the music was lousy. Now that I think about it though, the lousy music made it funny, thus making it well worth buying (it’s by a couple named Jerry and Ginger Dallin,

in case anyone is interested). I would do it all over again, so that’s a bad example. Hmmm, what else have I bought? Oh, I know! Party buses for dances. I think party buses are the biggest waste of money ever and I don’t really like them. It’s too cramped, and standing up in a moving vehicle freaks me out. I’d like my $150 back, please. I also regret going out for dinner every weekend, as it has drained my savings and now I have no money to spend. Money is a big responsibility, and lots of people can’t handle it. It’s so easy to just throw it away on useless junk, and everyone is guilty of this at some point. No matter what, though, I’ll never regret spending a ton of money on my extensive collection of “Birdemic: Shock & Terror” memorabilia. Griffin Thompson, staff writer

D ecember Lineup Dec. 19 at 7:00 p.m. Edina’s Choir, Band and Orchestra programs join forces for the EHS Combined Holiday Concert at Fick Auditorium. Dec. 21 – Jan. 5 The full two week Winter Break makes its return. Happy Holidays. Jan. 9 at 7:00 p.m. EHS Jazz Band Concert at Fick Auditorium. Jan. 15 – Jan. 17 Finals week, early release at 12:20 p.m. daily. Jan. 17 End of Semester One. Have an upcoming concert, performance, or new song coming out? Shoot us an e-mail at to be featured in next month’s issue.

photo by Jack Hultstrand Senior Lauren Petersen merchandising the shelves at Creative Kidstuff. Wish lists are filling up and stores are getting ready for the yearly bombardment of holiday shoppers. However, with holiday chaos building up, would this hectic time of year also be the perfect opportunity for seeking job openings? Although many believe individuals would rather avoid the holiday spree, enthusiastic shoppers actually prefer going to brick and mortar during this time of festivity. Anticipation rises among store employees as they prep for the months following Halloween, where customers will pour in searching for onetime deals, Hanukkah gifts, and Christmas presents. Malls are open longer and clients are more demanding, adding stress to all employees. Now imagine working the holiday shifts as a student. Balancing school and extracurriculars adds an extra level of pressure, taking real dedication and responsibility to perform

as an exemplary employee. “Working during the holiday season is definitely more stressful… I’m handling a lot more money, which sometimes makes me a little nervous,” said Edina High School senior Jalen Giles. Giles currently works at Root Salon in Linden Hills, but got her first experience of holiday employment last year at Francesca’s. “My first full day on the job was Black Friday, which was terrifying! There were so many people and you couldn’t straighten one rack without blinking and having to straighten it again,” continued Giles. Senior Jesse Marquisee works at Macy’s in the watch department, working as a company sales representative. “The worst part about working holidays is having to wake up early on Saturdays,” said Marquisee, who usually works long hours over weekends rather than on weekdays.

art by Sarah Aulik

Although most retail jobs become busier during the holidays, specific tasks do not often change and are usually different for each store. “My job [as a sales rep] is to push the brands the company is selling and try to sell as many as possible! I’m also in charge of making sure the display looks nice,” said Marquisee. Giles, on the other hand, explained that in the salon she takes care of basic cleaning (sweeping, dusting, mopping etc.), appointment booking, and phone answering, which are tasks needed all year long. Like all extra commitments, time management becomes both your greatest asset and

hardest liability. According to Giles, one of the most important things about working during the holidays is planning ahead and getting your homework done as early as possible. “And coffee. Lots of coffee,” she added. One thing’s for sure; being employed during the holiday season definitely requires extensive alertness and patience to cope with the added stress. So if you’re looking for an extra challenge or just a way to gain a few extra dollars, head on down to Galleria, Southdale, or 50th and France for holiday job opportunities. Chiara Kohlmayr, staff writer


Culture 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

December 13, 2013

Volume 34 Issue 3

Driving in the Winter Tips and Tricks from our Resident Winter Driver

When driving in the winter, it’s important to stay safe. Road conditions can change and become treacherous before you know it. According to the US Department of Transportation, every year nearly 7,400 people die from car crashes and about 25% of these accidents happen due to winter conditions. Here are some safety tips to keep you out of harms way this winter season: 1) Slow down: Decrease your speed and be prepared to stop if anything happens. In the winter you should have at least three times more space between you and the car in front of you than usual. Snow and ice can cause a driver to lose control of their cars and spin out of control. 2) Keep your traction: There are many ways to do this. Winter tires are a good start. These tires are designed to protect against slippery

roads and keep your car steady. Also, be less hasty with your brakes! Brake slowly to give your car enough time to stop. 3) Stay aware: Make sure you can see everything going on around you. Take the time to make sure your your windshield and windows are properly scraped, and take down that Miley Cyrus poster you keep in the corner. Even a part of the windshield left unclean can keep you from seeing a car coming up behind you. 4) Know how to stop skidding: In the winter, slippery roads are a huge concern. It’s easy to skid or lose control. If you start skidding, take your foot off the accelerator. Steer in the direction you want the wheels to go: if your car is going left, steer right and vice versa. Patricia Leach, features editor

photo by Ellie Weir

Public Displays of Annoyance PDA (noun): a palmtop computer that functions as a personal organizer and provides e-mail and Internet access. But, that’s not the type of PDA I’m talking about. I’m talking about public displays of affection. Aw, how beautiful. You just watched a romantic comedy and you think it’d be cool to reenact it in the school hallways. That, young one, is where you are wrong. It actually wouldn’t be cool for you to make out with someone else in the daylight. No one wants to see that, believe it or not. Here’s a basic guideline: if you grandma would be offended by what you’re doing, stop this instant. And don’t bend this rule by pretending your grandma would be totally okay with anything because she’s “hip and trendy.” That’s cheating. Here’s what’s okay: holding hands, skipping down the hallway, casual conversations, hugs

that last less than four seconds, and linking arms. That’s all very PG. Fellow classmates and even teachers probably know you and your boyfriend/ girlfriend are together, so you don’t need to make it obvious enough that others actually have to view the “love exchange.” You just don’t. Here’s what isn’t okay: anything else. I mean, where did our sense of modesty go? You can’t just reenact a dirty hip hop song in school with your significant other. Another thing: people will probably like you more as a couple when they only hear cutesy details instead of witnessing the whole thing with their eyes. That’s the last thing anyone would want to do in their spare time. Any questions? Sarah Aydinalp, in-depth editor

photo by Zoe Gunderson

How to Survive the art by Sophie Cannon Now that winter is upon us, we have reached that time of year where the snow drives us into our homes. Luckily, we live in the twenty-first century and we have a little friend named Netflix. Here are four tips on how to use Netflix to your advantage when the snowpocalypse hits: Disney Movie Marathon: Netflix is stocked with an abundance of Disney classics, including “Mulan,’’ “Hercules,” and “The Aristocats.” These movies are great for those days when you’re feeling nostalgic and want to take a trip down memory lane. Plus, the holiday season is here and Disney has plenty of holiday-themed movies to satisfy your needs. “The songs are just amazing,” said junior Emily Marshall. Comedy Section: Did you know that Netflix has three decades worth of “SNL” in their catalog? Pick your favorite celebrity and watch their episode, or check out the cult favorite “Ar-

rested Development,” which was recently revived by Netflix for a fourth season. Another comedy favorite is “Superstar,” starring Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell, about a young woman who tries out for her school talent show, which is much more interesting than it seems. “Tiny Furniture” is a comedy that is more on the indie side, and is definitely worth watching. Worth noting is “Rubber,” a French comedy about a killer tire, which is a lot better than you’d think. Thriller/Horror Movies: Next time you’re snowed in, check the thriller genre. A British film called “Exam” will blow your mind, and “Headhunters” will make you start to doubt your mental health. The best part about the thriller genre is that you’ll find some really interesting movies that might be foreign, or just have a really weird plot. Regardless, they typically end up being pretty good.

Another genre that does not disappoint is horror. Check out “Harper’s Island,” a TV series about a mysterious fictional island where each episode centers around the death of a character. “2010: Moby Dick” is one of those movies where you just laugh because it’s so bad. “Either they’re horrible and you laugh at everything or it’s horrifying and you can’t sleep without checking under the bed,” said junior Anna Hans. Documentaries: If you’ve ever wondered how cruise ships or the Mexican drug cartels work, this section of Netflix is perfect for you. Shows like “Locked Up Abroad” and “Drugs, Inc.” always leave you on the edge of your seat, and best of all, they’re true stories. If violence isn’t your thing, check out series like “How Stuff Works” or “Extreme Cheapskates,” both of which are more suitable documentary for when you’re

home alone. If you’re looking for a high-quality documentary, watch “Samsara,” which has beautiful cinematography, or “The Queen of Versailles,” about the family that planned on building the largest house in America. Drew Davis, news editor

art by Genevieve Anderegg

Back Page Volume 34 Issue 3

S U R Y . . . s H t n P ZEproudly prese

December 13, 2013

! N fU


6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439




Hey kids! Like coloring? Like snowmen? Like Zephyrus? If you answered yes to at least two of those questions, then you should color in this snowman! Turn it in with your name on it to room 377B before break; we’ll post our favorites online and one lucky person will win a special prize!! (but actually this time) art by Audrey Sheehy

Issue 3 - December 2013  
Issue 3 - December 2013  

Zephyrus is the official newspaper of Edina High School.