Issue 6 - April 2014

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In-Depth p. 6-7

Features p. 3

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Brains: All about everyone’s favorite way to think!

Matt Lumbar’s Hair: Read about Edina’s most famous mane.

All About ABC: Read Zephyrus’ multi-part series on the “A Better Chance” program.

Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Edina Junior Designs Popular App

Student Sam Schooler runs to success

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art by Audrey Sheehy

dds are, you’ve heard of or played the new app sweeping Edina High School, Runbow. The app, created by EHS junior Sam Schooler, is pretty simple. There are blocks of colored rainbow the user has to stay on in order to maintain a health bar at the top of the screen. If you go off the rainbow, your health bar will deplete based on how long you fell off.

“I was originally working on a game called Triangles in the weeks leading up to the creation of Runbow, but it wasn’t really that fun of a game. So on a Friday (Saturday morning, really) around 3 [a.m.], I came up with the idea for Runbow. I wrote the code for the seven columns of the rainbow that night, and went from there,” Schooler said.

On the Apple App Store, the game has sixty-two reviews, virtually all of them five stars. “Without those gourds and the amount of liquid nitrogen I never would have become the crem de la crop of the forplenski family,” said one reviewer who gave it five stars. Another said, “I can’t stop playing this game! Runbow

has taken over my life but I’m okay with that.” Obviously, the app is a big hit among those who have found it. “I’ve only had [a single] one star review for discriminating against colorblind people, so I’m making a color scheme especially for that person,” said Schooler.

Schooler is often asked if he has made any money on the app. “People always ask this, and it’s interesting because my goal never was to make money. I made it because I like to code,” said Schooler. Even a simple app like Runbow takes time, as it took him one week to code and one week to be approved by Apple.

Schooler has been experimenting with coding for a long time. This is simply the first app he has sent to Apple. “This one happened to work because it was such a simple app. I’ve also been working on other things like a gaming website, Minecraft plug-ins, and a short-story-sharing website,” said Schooler If you consider yourself a fan of Runbow, get excited, because this isn’t going to be the end of Schooler’s coding career.

“I love this stuff. In the future, I will probably make games with more complex graphics and game mechanics. This one was just a stepping stone to actually getting into the world of app development,” said Schooler.

Noah Chestler, staff writer

Global Revolutions and Riots Erupt 2014 has already asserted itself as a pivotal year for all future history textbooks. Revolutions and riots have rocked all four corners of the world in recent weeks and months. Thailand, Venezuela, Ukraine, and Syria have boasted rises of the masses against the government, harkening back to such events as the overthrow of the Iranian Shah, Cuban Revolution, and even the French Revolution – a revolution that tried to eliminate the elitism that plagued French society.

Here we are, today, still fighting for the same things we were so many years ago - the equal access to privileges (social, political, and economic) that are held in the hands of very few and the

abolishment of the rapidly-growing authoritarian nature of some governments. All four of the current revolutions stem from a significant portion of the population unhappy with the way their respective governments are being run.

Considering the different overarching socioeconomic conditions and political systems between all four nations (republic, federal republic, republic under authoritarian regime, and constitutional monarchy), these uprisings cannot be directly linked to a certain kind of government or a certain kind of economy. Instead, they must be attributed to a stirring desire to change longstanding political institutions and practices.

The innate human desire for “the next best thing” cannot be here. These events, while taking place in different regions of the world, are profoundly interconnected. The Arab Spring really served to mark a new, modern era of people coming together, and protesting (most of the time violently) for the change they believe they both need and deserve.

“The voice of the next generation of change is the shot heard ‘round the world.”

All of these nations present a situation and, with the fast-paced, interconnected nature of our society due to such burgeoning innovation taking place in less than a single decade, the voice of the next generation of change is the shot heard round the world.

So maybe rioting stems out of a “if she can do it, so can I” mentality. Or, perhaps comes from years of pent-up anger. Whatever the reasoning is, our globe is currently in a state of rapid change leading to a frightfully unpredictable future.

Bess Pearson, opinion editor

art by Katie Manderfeld

The official newspaper of Edina High School

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News

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Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Revamping the SAT Known for requiring hours of studying, thousands of dollars of test prep materials, and countless stress tears, the nation’s most competitive test is finally planning radical changes to its format.

The SAT (Scholastic Assessment Test) is one of the United States’ most influential college entrance exam, and more recently, the center of heated debate. Critics have targeted the standardized test with the idea that students coming from high-income families could have an unfair advantage due to more access to expensive test prep materials. This, among other reproaches, has pushed The College Board, a non-profit organization responsible for the development of the exam, to make some sweeping changes.

College Board President David Coleman announced that the organization plans to team up with the Khan Academy, a non-profit educational website, to provide free test-prep materials and close the test’s socioeconomic gap among participants. Sal Khan, founder of Khan Academy, further explained that this increase in opportunity would give high school students a greater competitive edge and help propel them into college.

The test itself is also undergoing a makeover, with the goal of making it a better representative of high school curricula and undergraduate skills. How it will impact Edina High School students, however, is still uncertain. “Shifting from an analytical aspect to a more curriculumbased test, like the ACT, will appeal to different types of students, so I would be curious to see

how the new SAT will change our National Merit Statistics for students,” said EHS counselor Jeanne Brown.

The test is scheduled to return to a lower 1600-point scale, replacing the current 2400 point scale initiated in 2005. A new evidence-based reading and writing section will be added, where at least one passage from the “founding documents of America” will be included.

Furthermore, the essay section will no longer be required, and if taken, will be scored separately from the rest of the exam. Students taking it will be required to support answers with specific evidence and cite previous knowledge instead of using personal experiences or simply making it up. The tough rubric is also being modified, with scorers trained to grade the essay based on content rather than length.

Nevertheless, the greatest buzz may be about the retraction of penalties. Currently, a quarter point is taken off the total score for each question answered incorrectly, greatly discouraging guessing among test takers. Starting with this new test, however, such point deductions will no longer be in effect, encouraging students to

photo by Maddie Fischer answer all questions to the best of their abilities.

What’s more, anxiety-provoking words like “prevaricator” and “sagacious” will no longer be used on the test. They will be replaced by more common and useful words. “We are looking to test students on more practical vocabulary widely used in college and career, instead of words that may not have been heard before and are likely not to be heard again,” said the College Board in a recent statement.

Other changes include restrictions on calcula-

tor use during the math section, and a shortening of the exam itself from three hours and forty-five minutes to just three hours. The release of this new exam is planned for spring of 2016, and it will be available in both print and electronic form.

“We are finally taking steps to level the playing field for all test takers. It’s time for a test that’s open, so that kids can productively practice and ready themselves for their future,” said Coleman.

Chiara Kohlmayr, staff writer

Media in the Face of Danger When considering the world’s “most dangerous” professions it would appear odd to categorize a livelihood as seemingly innocuous as reporting under this umbrella. However, if the past five years are any evidence, journalism is arguably one of the highest-risk jobs out there.

A globe ravaged by war has created an environment that simply begs for a large number of journalists. Unfortunately, the need for wartime reporting is coupled with the impending dangers of war at its most organic form.

Not only is the concept of war a dangerous one, but the geographic locations in which recent wars have been erupting is a crucial factor to consider. What do Afghanistan, Egypt, Syria, and Russia all have in common? A mutual, shared

detest of westerners – especially Western media outlets. This has only served to heighten the dangers journalists face out in the field.

The Syrian Journalists Association has documented the death of over 153 journalists since the start of the Syrian Civil war. The passing of these journalists has been primarily a simple side effect of the violence that has been ravaging the nation.

So, to the public, while these deaths are tragic they also seem to be simply a “hazard of the job.”

However, the death of journalists is not always due to casualties of war. Under Vladmir Putin’s reign, there have been countless deaths of journalists that, while not directly linked to the Kremlin, definitely reflect a collective dislike within the Russian government for Western journalists – and

even journalists within the country that dare to criticize the government.

Due to both violence (roadside bombings, hails of impending gunfire, land mines) and the authoritarian tendencies of many governments, especially in controlling “free media,” (look to firewalls in countries such as China, Iran, and the Russian Fed) journalism is no longer a profession that can be simply categorized as writing. It has become much more of a Charles- Dickens -meets Jason -Bourne situation.

Now, journalists must not only have a steady hand when writing but they must also be strategic in where they report, how they report, and with whom they report. It’s no longer about just asking the right questions. It’s also about asking the

right people. It’s no longer about being able to write well, it’s about being able to run fast and keep a low profile.

But, with great danger comes great potential, and often the result of such journalism is greatly advantageous to the global community at large.

The spreading of the truth through free and accessible means is vital to our ever growing and changing world. This push for journalistic integrity and strength can even be seen at the most local levels by pushing boundaries and daring to report what others have not.

Bess Pearson, opinion editor

Wild in the Hornet’s Nest

photo by Jack Hultstrand

The Minnesota Wild hockey team is making use of Edina’s ice facilities by practicing at Braemar Arena.

“It’s cool that we get to share a locker room with some of the guys we look up to in the NHL,” said senior and varsity hockey player Alec Oesterreich.

“The Minnesota Wild will use Braemar Arena as [a] secondary practice rink when [the] Xcel Energy Center is not available for the rest of this season,” said Aaron Sickman, Media Relations Director for the Wild. “Braemar has a tremendous set-up with lots of space for our players and coaches to use, now that the high school boys’ and girls’ hockey season is winding down.” With events like concerts occurring at the Xcel, the Wild have been spotted scrimmaging and practicing on all three of Braemar’s rinks.

“This is by no means official yet. There are still a lot of steps that need to take place,” said Susie Miller, Manager of Braemar Arena. “Currently, they are using us as a location, but only temporarily. They are using the Hornets’ Nest for their locker room.” The newest two-story addition to Braemar, dubbed the Hornets’ Nest, has the extra space and dry-land facilities that make the rink prime real estate for a professional hockey team’s training.

As the Hornets won their second consecutive state title, the facilities are now more available for the Wild’s use right as they reach the end of their season and head into the playoffs.

Emily Kraft, staff writer

Features 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

The Mane

March 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 6

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Grade 10: The Myth The Glory Daze Ah, sophomores. Wide-eyed with a sense of childlike wonder, they enter the high school. But alas, they will soon realize that the Disney Channel lied, and they can’t burst out into cheery musical numbers whenever they turn a corner or start synchronized dance sequences on top of the tables in the lunchroom. Reality rears its ugly head, and the awkward children from middle school are forced to adapt to the hustle and bustle required of them. Here are some of their stories:

The Legend

“Coming into the high school I tried out for the fall musical Urinetown... the show involves peeing and I felt like I was literally going to pee my pants the entire audition.” -senior Jack Dolphin.

“I went to both first and second lunch before learning I had third lunch. I also was late to five out of six classes because I kept getting lost.” -senior Harry DeGrood.

photos by Bridgit Loeffelholz Hey, who’s that rugged lady walking down the hall? Dang!

Oh, wait, never mind… That’s just Matt Lumbar.

For people who don’t know him, he’s the guy who “wears tight clothes,” has “long hair,” needs a “haircut,” and has been told he looks “female.”

“I keep those people out of my mind,” said Lumbar, a bold senior who is shocking the school with his refusal to cut his hair.

“I’m just a runner with long hair… And I like to watch Food Network when I’m home alone.”

Lumbar isn’t trying to make a statement with his long hair, either. “I love short hair, but I just don’t feel like getting a haircut.

Sometimes it’s a short hair year, and other times it’s a long hair year. This one’s a long hair year,” he said.

Lumbar is a guy who speaks his mind, and will let you know if he thinks something is stupid. He demonstrated this trait midway through the interview when he said, “I have a feeling this is gonna be a bad article.” Brutally honest, highly fashionable, and always witty, Lumbar claims he’s humble, but people who know him might think otherwise.

Lumbar says he is mainly inspired by Guy Fieri of the Food Network Show “Diners, Drive-ins & Dives.” “He’s really great.

He’s for sure the star of the Food Network… His style is great, and his catchphrases are so natural,” said Lumbar. In addition to Food Network, Lumbar has a passion for Dickey’s Barbeque Pit. “Dickey’s makes my stomach smile,” he said. “With Dickey’s, you get quality and quantity for a low price… I tend to go there on the weekends.”

When he sports a ponytail, “that’s when most of the girl comments start to happen.” This doesn’t deter him, though. He says he doesn’t listen to the haters, and there aren’t very many people who really care. He hasn’t gotten a haircut since November 2012, and he still has about a month to go until he gets it cut. Lumbar plans on bringing back the mullet, because, “I’ve told you this before, I’m not a party in the front type of guy.” It’s pretty clear that he finds the mullet haircut extremely stylish. “I’m a boring guy, but thanks for featuring me,” concluded Lumbar.

Griffin Thompson, staff writer

“I always went to the wrong science hallway floor, I was late for class every other day the whole year.” -junior Colin Bob Dobin.

“A week didn’t go by where I wasn’t hit by a door.” -junior Laura Huepenbecker.

“I did ceramics first semester, and one time I was on the wheel when my hair got caught in a clump of clay going around and around on the wheel until I finally got it out... The whole class was filled with seniors and they were all staring at me. Also when I was a sophomore, I always walked on the wrong side of the hallway... I still haven’t fully recovered from the dirty looks.” -junior Katie Webert.

“The first day of school, it took me thirty minutes to find the staircase to the first floor.” -junior Reggie Wimbley.

Patricia Leach, features editor

AP European History Teacher Daniel Baron has made a big impact on Edina High School, imbuing his students with eternal truths of how to be a good monarch. Recently Zephyrus got a chance to sit down with this legendary teacher to find out more about him.

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

Zephyrus: How did you get interested in teaching European history?

Daniel Baron: I think I’ve always just been very fascinated with Europe and enjoyed learning about European history. And although initially I hadn’t really intended to be a teacher, as I went through college and took a lot of history classes, it seemed kind of like a natural fit.

Zephyrus: How did you get interested in the German language?

D.B.: Well, it’s kind of like the European history.

I’ve always kind of been interested with all things German and I have German family background… Even

art by Emily Ding

The World According to Dan Baron

as a little kid I was just sort of fascinated with the Germans, and when I was in high school, I really started to learn the German language. I wasn’t a stellar student, I didn’t really understand the grammar very much… but I had a very good ability to mimic the way the language sounded, and so I had pretty good accent. And I enjoyed it so much that when I was studying history in college I decided to minor in German.

Zephyrus: So, you mentioned the Psych Wars in “Ten thing you didn’t know about Mr. Baron.” Any expansion you could do on that?

D.B.: Yeah, the Psychic Wars will occur in the next couple of decades. And, without getting into too many specific details, there’s going to be a lot of warriors or soldiers sitting in rooms and battling with their minds… The rest you just have to wait and kind of experience.

Zephyrus: With experience from teaching AP European History, if you had your own country, how would you run it?

D.B.: In my classroom, I tend to run things like an autocracy, and I like to keep things very disciplined. I would assume that I would run my own country, unfortunately, in a very similar way.

John Osler, staff writer

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Features

www.edinazephyrus.com

Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd, Edina, MN 55439

Looking Forward to May Term Many Edina High School seniors are looking forward to the end of May. From May 19 to May 30, students have the option to partake in a two week May Term.

“Students have the opportunity to create their own learning plan based upon their personal and academic experience. You can do whatever you are interested in as long as it has a learning component,” said Edina High School Principal, Dr. Bruce Locklear. Students are required to spend the same amount of hours and days working on their project as they would in school. In addition, students will present their findings to the rest of the school during the annual May Term Fair.

The opportunities for seniors during May Term are endless. Some students use the two week leave from school to intern at a local business, gaining work experience and knowledge of the business world. Others complete projects such as testing water quality, building robots, or mapping a lake. A few even take the time to travel abroad, completing projects or internships in a foreign nation.

Senior Julia Barnett will be interning at Be Easy Music, a local record label. “I hope to learn

how a record label functions and everything that goes on behind the scenes in order to brand a band, find fans, and make concerts great,” said Barnett. With Barnett’s passion for music, she is eager to take on any task she is given. Barnett expects to research industry trends, send press

(seniors Griffin Ward, Henry Rose, and Hunter Olson), Dummer plans to install a motor and apply a one-of-a-kind paint job. “[The paint job] is going have sick decals that will make grown men cry. We are also considering applying some juicy flames to the front and

art by Olivia Chen packages to local and national venues, and be on site for recording sessions and music videos.

“I have heard positive responses from the label and I have been excited ever since,” said Barnett.

Another senior, Jack Dummer, will spend his May Term designing and creating a motorized go-kart. With the help of his “go-kart pit crew”

Dungeons and Dragons All-Stars

photo by Maddie Fischer Dungeons and Dragons is a role-playing fantasy game of your imagination. It’s part acting, part storytelling, part social interaction, part war game, and part dice-rolling. You and your friends create characters that develop and grow with each adventure they complete. Together, the players make the game come alive.

Edina High School has a Dungeons and Dragons club that meets every Thursday in Room 261 after school from roughly 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., but the students come and go as they please. “Some people like to leave at about 4:30-ish for the activity bus,” said junior Zoe Van Ryn-Gregg.

The group’s number varies every week, but there’s something about the members that might surprise you. “One way that we kind of violate the stereotype of typical D&D players is that our group is almost entirely female,” said senior Helen Risser. “At the beginning of the year, I was honestly super surprised when I walked in, because it was almost all girls.”

“It’s really fun and open-ended and we all play off of each other. For example, one of our group members always likes to burn everything, and right now we’re working on a murder investigation inside of a cult-like thing,” said Van Ryn-Gregg.

“It’s a fun space for storytelling, because that’s really what the game is about, telling stories without needing to buy anything and using your imagination,” Risser said. The club is like a little family.

They usually eat at the DECAfé together before they dive into the journey they embark on every Thursday. The day I visited, their advisor, Mr. Hallen, was bidding EHS farewell, so the rest of the club was in the library saying their goodbyes.

“Make sure to talk about how awesome and nerdy it is. Because D&D is really awesome and nerdy,” said junior Davis Bisping.

Erik Lindquist, staff writer

sides of our design,” said Dummer.

Due to the project’s advanced nature, the group plans to get help from their EHS engineering teacher, Ward Jensen. “Mr. Jensen has raced motorcycles all his life competitively.

This helps us out a lot because he knows a lot about the mechanics of motorized vehicles and

engines,” said Dummer.

According to Dummer, his group is excited for the hands on experience of building a go-cart.

“While most kids are sitting in their school chairs going zero mph, we will be pushing thirty mph for two weeks straight,” said Dummer.

“I am extremely fortunate because I have an opportunity to go to Germany and Switzerland for May Term,” said senior Charlie Manion.

“I am going to visit several historic sites that I have learned about in my German class.” Each day, Manion will journal in both English and German about his experiences. Accompanied by his mother and brother, Manion hopes to enhance his German vocabulary and fluency from speaking to native speakers.

“I am [also] going to surprise my host brother (with whom Manion spent three weeks last summer), visit a castle, and hike in the Swiss Alps,” said Manion. On presentation day, make sure to stop by Manion’s booth to see his journals and pictures, and to hear some stories. “I might also try to bump some German tunes,” Manion added.

Jack Hultstrand, print editor in chief

Fun in the MUN

Ms. Elizabeth Nimmo and Mr. Nickie McKeever are beloved Edina teachers and the Edina Model United Nation advisors. But what do you really know about them? Zephryus decided to interview both teachers to get to know the legends behind MUN. Zephyrus: Why did you become a teacher?

Elizabeth Nimmo: I really wanted to be a college [history] professor, but in the ‘80s, there were no jobs for history professors. So I went to law school, but I didn’t like it. In my mid-forties, I went back to get my teaching license and became a high school history teacher.

Nickie McKeever: I used to work with delinquent teenage boys who were hard to reach. But when I talked about history, mainly African and Latin American history, which is where most of the boys were from, I was able to reach them. I thought to myself, “I really like history and working with kids,” so it made sense to go back and become a teacher.

Zephyrus: What did you want to become when you were younger, if not a teacher?

E.N.: I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, so there was nothing else.

N.M.: I wanted to be an actor for a really long time. My mom was a high school history teacher for twenty-seven years and I grew up acting.

Zephyrus: Why did you want to teach history?

E.N.: I really love the subject. You cannot make up the stories, you can see all the crazy stories people have done over time. It’s all about the study of people.

N.M.: I’ve always loved history, but in high school, the teachers did not do the subject justice. The class was boring and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. But in college, my first history professor in freshmen year, he totally

photos by Maddie Fischer

Nickie McKeever changed my mind about how history can be taught. I graduated with a history degree, but didn’t think I would be a teacher until I [became one].

Zephyrus: What do you do in your free time?

E.N.: I like to bike, play golf, go to our cabin, hiking… I’m really active. And be with my kids.

N.M.: I spend time with my family and read to my children a lot.

Zephyrus: How many kids do you have?

E.N.: I have three kids; Jenny is twenty-seven years old, Annie is twenty-five, and Mike is twenty-two.

N.M.: I have four kids [and the eldest is seven years old].

Zephyrus: Who is your inspiration or role model?

E.N.: I’ve never had just one role model, but I’ve always had people supporting me all throughout my life.

N.M.: My mom was my inspiration in my own life, but an old friend who

Elizabeth Nimmo was from South Africa got me obsessed with Nelson Mandela since I was nine years old. But now I’m very influenced by my children.

Zephyrus: What sports did you play when you were younger?

E.N.: I ran track and I played tennis. I was on the tennis team that did not go to State and the year after started the Edina tennis legacy.

N.M.: My big sport was baseball. I played for ten or eleven years before I gave it up to act.

Zephyrus: What’s your favorite book?

E.N.: I’m not really a big novel person, but I read “The Economist” cover to cover.

N.M.: I would say my favorite genre books are from South Africa. If I can pinpoint two of them, it would either be “The Power of One” or “Cry the Beloved Country.” My favorite American book is “Invisible Man,” hands down.

Farhia Osman, staff writer

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Sports 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

March 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 6

www.edinazephyrus.com

Playing Baseball in Paradise Each year, high school students from across the country flock from their home state to warmer pastures. It’s a time to relax, soak up rays, and enjoy life. Sadly, some athletes aren’t able to take a spring break because it interferes with their season.

Edina Baseball is taking a stand against that.

This year, the Edina baseball team is taking their own vacation and heading down to Florida to participate in spring training. They leave Sunday, Mar. 30 and come home on Sunday, Apr 6. The team will be staying at Disney World, in Disney’s Caribbean Beach Resort, and everything the team does will be on Disney property. The team will practice at the ESPN Wide World of Sports facility, which is the training home of the Atlanta Braves. This means the team will be using top-notch facilities.

“The purpose of going to Florida is to play outdoor baseball.

All of our offseason training takes place indoors, so it’s important for

us to get outside before the season starts and get used to playing somewhere besides a gym or a dome,” said senior Captain Stephen Kalina.

Anyone who is playing high school baseball may attend. “We take forty kids on the trip. Juniors and seniors have priority to

FC Minneapolis?

Is Major League Soccer coming to Minneapolis?

With TCF Bank Stadium hosting an international match between Manchester City and Olympiakos on Aug. 2, support from the league’s commissioner and backing from Zygi Wilf (principal owner of the Minnesota Vikings), Minneapolis could be poised to play host to an MLS expansion team in the near future.

In a recent press conference, Major League Soccer (MLS) commissioner Don Garber spoke about possible upcoming league expansions. “I think if Minneapolis is a market that can continue to show the support that they’ve had for the NASL club [Minnesota United FC] and if they continue to make progress on a number of different stadium opportunities, there’s a real opportunity there,” Garber said.

While Wilf is looking to host an MLS team in the new Vikings stadium, Bill McGuire, owner of Minnesota United FC (the only professional team in the state), is in favor of building a new soccer-specific stadium near Target Field and the Minneapolis Farmers’ Market.

“I think it would be a great idea if Minneapolis was able to put together an MLS team... [but] as of right now, I don’t think there’s enough interest in soccer in Minnesota [to support a professional team,] but hopefully the establishment of a popular MLS team in the Cities could change that,” said junior Tanner Morrison.

What about a new stadium? “Building a soccer stadium in Minneapolis would be awesome. It would be easily accessible for teams all around the metro to come out and catch a game with their team,” Morrison said. He added that the stadium “would be a great venue for the high school state [soccer] tournament.”

Senior and fellow MLS fan Jon Whear disagrees. “I believe that it’s better to use a high-quality existing stadium, like TCF Bank [Stadium] or the new Vikings stadium, than to ask [Minneapolis residents] to pay for another stadium,” Whear said. “This would let Minnesota soccer grow as a professional sport while giving it the first-class facilities it deserves.”

As for the plethora of professional sports teams in Minneapolis, Morrison said, “I think [the other teams] could help a possible MLS team because the professional teams could give [the MLS team] a good foundation of possible players for the team.”

“A good name for the team, in my opinion, would be the Minneapolis Minutemen because it rhymes and refers to the history of a group of young fast men, like the soccer team,” Morrison said.

Whear, on the other hand, favors calling the team Minnesota United. “I think it throws in a Minnesota flavor to ‘United,’ which is a pretty common team name. And the United part speaks to European soccer too,” Whear said.

Regardless of intra-Minneapolis debates over who is directly responsible for organizing a team, the city’s prospects for an MLS team sometime in the near future are looking bright.

Will Hagens, staff writer

sign up for it first. After all the interested juniors and seniors sign up, it is open to the freshman and sophomores,” said Kalina.

This year, tryouts take place before the team goes to Florida, so, while there the group is split into varsity and junior varsity.

“Not all kids who attend will be on the ju-

nior varsity or varsity teams [for the regular season], but [they] will still have the same opportunities and playing time as those that did make the team,” said Kalina.

On a typical day, the team will be awake by 7:00 a.m. and make their way to practice. They usually begin practice at around 8 a.m and will leave the field at around 4:00 p.m. By 5:00 p.m. the team will all return to the hotel, where they’re free for the rest of the night. The team is given the freedom to hang around, relax, or go have a magical time at one of the Disney Amusement Parks.

“The best part of the trip will be playing baseball outside and building some great team chemistry with the guys.

It will also be sweet to play three games in the Atlanta braves spring training stadium,” concluded Kalina.

Alexi Diem, culture editor

photo courtesy of EHS Baseball

Tradition of Success As the hockey season comes to a close, and winter starts to loosen it’s icy cold grip over Minnesota, Edina has made history again. Specifically, a second consecutive State Championship victory by the Boys Varsity Hockey Team.

“Nothing can compare to winning the State Championship. Playing in front of thousands of people on the biggest stage of your life is something you’re never going to forget,” said junior forward Parker Mismash.

Edina’s dominance doesn’t end there, however. The Junior Gold A Team, comprised of almost all seniors, finished off a strong season with a disappointing 2-1 loss to Wayzata in double overtime of the State Tournament Final in front of a home crowd at Braemar. Sure, photo by Jack Hultstrand it wasn’t a sold out Xcel Energy Center crowd, but the game was still important to those who played in it, as friends and brothers united by their love of hockey.

“The fans who came out got our adrenaline flowing and gave us the motivation and momentum we needed,” said senior Nick Oliver, who scored in the semifinal matchup vs. St. Louis Park. “Losing the championship was terrible, and a huge heartbreak, and I wish we could have pulled off a win, but we still had a great season regardless.”

“It stung a lot but the boys made it a little easier,” said JGA assistant captain, senior Henry Rose, who also netted a goal in the semi-final game.

Both Junior Gold A and Varsity had a prescription for success. “Our chemistry was key to our victories,” said Oliver. “Spending so much time with each other at the rink, you become more than a team.”

“We were always talking in our group chat and grew closer as the year went on,” added Rose.

“Team chemistry played a huge role in our run at a State Championship,” said Mismash. “Whether it be playing capture the flag at IKEA, bowling, or having a team dinner at Chipotle, we did everything we could to come together as a team to make a dream become a reality.”

In addition to Varsity’s championship and JGA’s 2nd place finish, the two Edina Junior Gold B teams proved Edina has even more depth when they played each other in the State Championship. For a city that focuses so much attention on its hockey program, it’s only fitting that the photo by Mason Guyette Hornets can have their cake and eat it too.

Tanner Sparrow, sports editor

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Opinion

www.edinazephyrus.com

Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

None of that Crêpe There are many breakfast places in Edina, but two of the most popular are by far The Original Pancake House and Perkins.

The Original Pancake House is a higher end version of Perkins. They have a more sophisticated ambiance by providing all around higher quality food at higher prices.

“I like The Original Pancake House better because it has better quality food... I love their chocolate chip pancakes,” said junior Alexis Lance.

However, one downside to OPH is that if you’re planning on going there on a Sunday, don’t. It seems as if this is the main place for people to eat after church. It’s not uncommon to wait for two hours for a table. Unless you’re in dire need for some OPH pancakes or your family has made a reservation, I would not suggest

going there on Sunday.

Perkins is a popular restaurant due to a couple of factors. For one thing, they’re open 24/7, so if you have a craving for waffles at 1 a.m., you know where to go.

“Whenever I need a little baked potato and a nice cup of hot chocolate, Perkins is always there for me,” said sophomore Will Kieffer.

Another reason for Perkins popularity is their famous blue drink, which is a tasty concoction of who knows what. Also, Perkins is reasonably priced for the quality of their food. It’s not too expensive, but their food is not as good as OPH’s.

Perkins is also in a very convenient location, in the center of Edina, making it accessible to most of us, whereas OPH is just a bit more out of the way.

If you’re looking for a cheaper meal with

photo by Sarah Nealon decent food quality at any hour of the day, your restaurant is Perkins. If you’re in the mood for something more upscale and you are willing to pay, OPH is the place to go.

Madeline Marker, staff writer

A Lot of Parking Madness The Edina High School parking lot has always been crazy. The school charges quite a bit of money for a parking permit in order to encourage carpools, and for this semester, the majority of passes were only given to carpools, PSEO, and zero hour students because the school ran out of passes. I am one of the single driver students affected by this change.

While I understand that there are two thousand students at the school and only four hundred parking spots, I think it is unfair to give sophomore drivers permits over senior drivers just because they have a carpool.

I moved to a new condo in a different part of Edina this fall, and I don’t know anyone who lives near me. In order to get to a friend’s house, I have to drive at least ten minutes.

I’m not on anyone’s way to school either, so forming a carpool is implausible for me. I got

a parking pass in the fall and scheduled my year around the independence I have with my car. As a captain of Model UN and an active member of the orchestra, I need to have a flexible schedule to come in before school and stay after in order to fulfill my commitments that I made in September when I had a parking pass.

I took zero hours both my sophomore and junior year with the goal of finishing up some extra classes so that I could have the freedom to make my senior year schedule as flexible as possible. Because of this, I get to TA sixth hour and leave school early many days. This has allowed me to get a nannying job and make money for different expenses in my life. It’s ridiculous that after working hard for two years so that I could have this freedom, I’m not allowed to park in the parking lot just because I can’t be part of a carpool.

While I don’t have an official zero hour, I’m in at 7:30 a.m. at least two days a week fulfilling commitments I made in September.

Having a senior student, my parents were hoping to continue to increase my independence, not my dependence. And if I can’t get to school early for a meeting or an orchestra practice, I’m letting a lot of people down.

While the school offers a small number of daily passes, they’re meant for students who need to get to a doctors appointment, not for students who really should have semester long passes but didn’t get one. If I were somehow able to get daily passes, I’d pay almost twice as much as I would for a normal parking pass in the end.

Hannah Sommerville, managing editor

A Bit Useless, No Mane Purpose

The horse. Equus ferus caballus. The stereotypical dream of countless young girls. But why? Is it really worth it? Why is there such an obsessed following of an animal that comes with such a hassle?

As they’ve been domesticated since 40003000 B.C.E., I just can’t seem to understand why people are still so obsessed with horses. I understand if it’s a requirement, like if you’re a cowboy or something, but in our modern society horses have no place.

It seems like horses’ visual appeal is a factor in their popularity. But they’re ugly.

Horses are ugly animals. They have huge long faces, and their big muscular bodies are just so awkwardly brutish and lumpy.

Their muscles are randomly sticking out from under their prickly hair. Plus, they have their little toe all retreated up their leg. It’s really just disgusting.

Maybe you like their free spirit and raw feral power? I beg to differ. Horses are just violent savages. If you don’t get a horse to stop running,

art by Sarah Aulik

Veni, Vidi, Vici

it will literally run itself to death. Say what you want about loyalty, but that’s just plain dumb.

That’s not even mentioning how dangerous these freakish wild beasts are. Horseback riding is almost always ranked as one of the ten most dangerous sports you can do, only behind things like bull-riding and cave diving.

Then their’s all the brushing and grooming you have to put into a horse.

There are dozens of brushes and bottles one must use to maintain a horse, which is, for me, just an impractical amount of work for such an ugly animal that wouldn’t provide me with any entertainment or happiness.

The fact that people are so obsessed with such an ugly animal that takes all their time and is a safety risk appalls me.

JTVD, opinion editor

What is to be said about Russian President Vladimir Putin? Well, in his spare time he’s been known to ride Harley Davidsons, go on research missions to help endangered species, and put out forest fires. He has a mountain named after him in Kyrgyzstan, and he is a black belt in Judo (he’s written a book on the subject).

He may look like a caring father figure when he cuddles snow leopards and saves polar bears, but his concern for the rights of the citizens of Russia and its surrounding nations is at Soviet era levels.

On Jun. 13, 2013, a “LGBT propaganda” law was passed in Russia. The law does not outlaw being homosexual, but rather prohibits the promotion of non-traditional marriages to children and is meant to “[protect] children from information harmful to their health and development.”

Under Putin’s regime, this law has been used to eliminate an issue he disagrees with, instead of having a civil debate to make the right decision, as we continue to do here in the United States.

No matter where you stand on gay marriage, it should scare you that a country as developed as Russia would consider limiting free speech at all, especially concerning such a hot button issue. With these laws, alongside Russia’s lack of due process, the nation seems to be straying away from modern civil rights.

About a year ago, the United States had planned to go invade Syria due to President al-Assad’s use of chemical weapons. At the time, Putin took the stance of non-interference and cautioned us Americans in an Op-Ed he wrote for the New York Times. He cited international law against any American attack, saying that “force is permitted only in selfdefense or by the decision of the Security Council. Anything else is unacceptable under the United Nations Charter and would constitute an act of aggression.” In saying that, he seemed to be taking a stand against the idea of world police forces, an idea that had defined both America and the Soviet Union in a different time.

Fast-forward to this first week of March, and we see Putin going on the offensive in attempts to annex the Crimean Peninsula of Ukraine. Although he has cited Russian military presence in Ukraine as “a humanitarian mission,” in reality, his troops had been holding Ukrainian military bases hostage at firing warning shots and unarmed Ukrainian military personal.

Putin’s attempt to return to a cold war era world based on spheres of influence is frightening. The man himself is a relic left over from the KGB. While he may have the ability to strut to the Russian media, we as Americans need to realize that his popular persona is more in line with the tyrants of North Korea and Nazi Germany.

Matt Woolsley, culture editor

Zephyrus Staff

print editor in chief: Jack Hultstrand online editor in chief: Clare Ling copy editor: Micah Osler art editor: Sarah Nealon managing editor: Hannah Sommerville advertising manager: Will Hagens online page editor: Hannah Sommerville news editors: Drew Davis, Perry Bruder features editors: Matt Dulas, Patricia Leach sports editor: Tanner Sparrow in-depth editor: Sarah Aydinalp opinion editors: Bess Pearson, Jackson Van Dyke culture editors: Matt Woolsey, Alexi Diem back page editors: Jack Hultstrand, Clare Ling, Micah Osler, Sarah Nealon, Hannah Sommerville, Matt Dulas staff writers: Adair Andre, Ellie Bender, Sophie Cannon, Noah Chestler, Will Hagens, Mia Hilali, Megan Hussey, Hannah Kloos, Chiara Kohlmayr, Emily Kraft, Erik Lindquist, Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, John Osler, Farhia Osman, Audrey Sheehy, Griffin Thompson head photographer: Bridgit Loeffelholz assistant photographer: Maddie Fischer photographers/artists: Genevieve Anderegg, Sarah Aulik, Sophie Cannon, Oliva Chen, Emily Ding, Zoe Gunderson, Lydia Gutowsky, Cici Holmquist, Martina Horns, Jessica Lin, Katie Manderfeld, Jamie Mustful, Lauren Petersen, Alex Riddle, Casey Robinson, Audrey Sheehy, Jessica Smith, Annika Smith-Ortiz, Ellie Weir, Emma Westbrook graphic designer: Katie Manderfeld advisor: Elizabeth Barniskis Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

Opinion 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

March 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 6

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www.edinazephyrus.com

GM Food: Why it’s hurting everyone The food isn’t the problem. The patents are.

Genetically modified food (or GM food, for the sake of concision) qualifies as a minor national issue today, not nearly as important as climate change or the crisis in Crimea, but still an issue able to inflame passions. In short, most mass-produced crops (the ones in processed food, not the ones you’d buy in the produce section) today have had their genes swapped around to increase their yield and make them resistant to drought, floods, and pests.

On one hand: we have the technology to create plants that will survive in any climate, resist drought, and have the potential to end hunger problems around the world. Isn’t it our moral imperative to use it?

On the other hand: we’re speeding up the natural process of mutation and evolution by taking organisms that took millions of years to adapt into their current form and swapping around their genetic code without fully knowing how it works. Isn’t that playing God? The latter argument has the right point, but for all the wrong reasons.

Certainly, GM food creeps me out. Cisgenic food, where the DNA changes only accelerate mutations that would occur naturally in the organism, seems just fine, but transgenic food, where genes from insects and mammals and fungi are spliced into corn and barley and sugar beets, understandably upsets me a bit. We’re all born with a natural revulsion to eating foods that seem foreign, and an ear of corn with a bit of a bug in it is foreign, beyond a doubt.

But feeling creeped out isn’t enough of a reason to impede science, especially science that can directly improve the lives of the world’s disadvantaged.

The real reason why GM food should be labeled, berated, and avoided is something just

photo by Sarah Nealon

Punctuation

as primeval: the danger of too much power concentrated in a body whose aim is profit, not the general welfare.

That body, of course, is Monsanto, the Missouri agri-giant that owns both an obscene number of patents on GM organisms and makes Round-Up, the popular pesticide.

Monsanto’s GM corn, called Bt corn, is bred to be resistant to Round-Up. The vast majority of corn planted in the US is GM, and that corn goes toward making all the processed food we scarf down daily.

So Monsanto has the market cornered with its Round-Up/Bt corn synergy. Why should you care?

The simple answer: because Monsanto’s using its power to play God, and it so far seems to favor the wrathful deity of the Old Testament. Farmers cannot use the seed from their corn to plant a new generation of crops – they must pay Monsanto more. Farmers whose non-GM crops are pollinated by nearby

GM plantings are slapped with lawsuits for violating Monsanto’s patents. The very way agriculture works, and has always worked, with the seed of the previous generation providing another year’s take in a cycle that goes back to the beginning of humanity, has been co-opted by corporate suits looking to shake farmers up for all they’re worth.

Why do you think family farms are dying? In part, because of the corporate-scale resources you need to have in order to deal with Monsanto. Why are our crops coated in neurotoxins? Because of corporate synergy.

So, avoid corn in processed foods. It won’t make you healthier, or help you avoid diseases, or do anything tangible, really. But letting one company control the food supply is a terrifying prospect, and one that’s already having consequences on the very way agriculture works.

Micah Osler, copy editor

year.

Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t attend college. By all means, please, please do! Just maybe consider a gap year first.

Because you see, young grasshoppers, for the first few years of college, most of us are still figuring out what we want to do. Those $63,228, or $53,490, or $56,198 are being used to pay for classes that we might find we’re not even interested in.

Which is why I propose a gap year.

Preferably, a gap year spent traveling.

“Taking a year off to travel is a good way to see the world outside of your high school before going to college,” summed up senior Natalie Rauchle.

A solid sense of self and a wider perspective on the world are helpful when determining what exactly it is that you want to get out of your expensive tertiary education. And a year spent exploring places outside of our comfortable bubble of green lawns and sprinkler systems is a great way to do just this.

During her junior year, senior Mackenzie Dykstra studied and lived in Lake Como, Italy through the Rotary Youth Exchange.

“In that year away, my ideas on the world were expanded dramatically, and Rotary led to friendships with people from all over the world… It made the world feel smaller,” said Dykstra.

Senior Regan Wagner, who also left during her junior year to attend school in Cremonia, Italy, found that a year abroad helped her

There was a day, long ago, when some very smart person came up with the idea of punctuation, and when this person thought of it, I hope they didn’t dream of a day that people would ever use more than one of each punctuation mark at a time.

The entire point of a punctuation mark is to convey a certain emotion, and it stops meaning anything when people use more than one. It’s become something of a fad to use multiple exclamation points or question marks. What happens when everyone starts using two? One mark means next to nothing.

The resulting problem is a vague unprofessional message. In the professional world, you look cheesy and you certainly don’t look serious if you use more than one exclamation point or question mark.

This is not to say that there isn’t a comedic role that these multiple marks can take on.

Using a ridiculous amount of punctuation has become a rather sarcastic way of making fun of people who actually use multiple marks. something I’m always in favor of.

People have turned punctuation marks into something that makes our communication in the modern world work, into something of a cultural nightmare. Professionalism and clarity suffer in the process. Shame on you, punctuation overusers. Shame on you.

Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor

art by Sophie Cannon

Forget College, See the World

But Clare, aren’t you planning on attending college right after high school? Why yes I am, young grasshopper, but that doesn’t mean that my decision is the smartest one out there. In fact, it’s far from it.

According to the College Board, the average yearly tuition cost for a private college is $29,056. For students attending an in-state university, the cost drops drastically to $8,655, but rises again if enrolling in an out-of-state university (averaging at around $21,706).

After adding in housing fees, food, books, and supplies, the cost of attending my top three choices came to a whopping $63,228, $53,490, and $56,198. And that’s just for one

focus in terms of college, and what it should really be about. “I always knew I wanted to travel but I had no idea what I wanted to study or where I wanted to go to college. When I came home from Italy I had a strict criteria of what I wanted my colleges to have, and that was Italian language[programs], good study abroad programs, and an international business major,” said Wagner.

So even though at a place like Edina High School, it can be hard to abandon the taboo connotations of “gap year,” (seeing as ninetysix percent of students continue on directly to college after graduation), I would encourage you to do just that.

Because, who knows? You might just find yourself while doing so.

Clare Ling, online editor in chief

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www.edinazephyrus.com

Culture Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Tugging on My Heart Strings

photos by Sam Greene

IncognEATo Clockwise from top left: Tori Adams, Oliver Chiu, Reid Gamble

Book Nook

Everyone knows that studying and doing homework outside of class is imperative if you’re aiming for a grade higher than a C. But this is easier said than done. There are all sorts of distractions: Candy Crush, Snapchat, Netflix, your dog, etc. The best way to avoid these distractions, and procrastination, is to find a good studying place.

Some people try to bust it out before school even ends. People can take advantage of free periods, study halls, blended classes, and TA opportunities to get their studying done. Seniors Matt Razidlo and Russ Karlson get the majority of their studying done in the DECAfé, with its comfy couches and calm atmosphere.

The easiest and most popular place to study is one’s own home sweet home. “If I don’t finish all my work at the DECAfé, I usually work at home in my living room or bedroom. Not on my bed though, because I would get too distracted,” said Razidlo.

Some people don’t like to work at home either because they are distracted by their family or because they like studying with friends.

If Karlson isn’t studying at home or school, he usually goes to Davanni’s to study and see his friends. Other great places to study are the library, coffee shops, or even outside if it’s nice out. “I go to Starbucks whenever I want to study with a partner or in a group because it’s a neutral place where everyone can meet,” said junior Julie Johnson.

Adair Andre, staff writer

The excitement builds, the musicians are getting warmed up, and the group is being tuned again. Is it Orchestra Hall? No, it’s the Edina High School orchestra. Many pieces and soloists were featured throughout Tuesday, Mar. 11’s Concerto Concert: Concerto for Violin by Bach, Cello Concerto in D minor by Lalo and Divertimento in C major by Mozart. While many would believe such classical pieces would be a bore, I found that seeing my peers play their instruments on stage was exciting.

While the musicians themselves at points throughout the evening seemed to be getting tired, I enjoyed all four groups that performed.

The Philharmonic Orchestra, Varsity Orchestra, Chamber Orchestra and the gigantic Symphony Orchestra filled the evening with wonderful melodies that I would still be humming days later.

The soloists all sounded wonderful. They played with passion and emotion, and the countless hours they devoted to practicing for their parts were evident. With a newfound appreciation for the dedication of all orchestra students, I got to meet with the soloist and ensemble members in person after the concert as I munched on a chocolate chip cookie for my $1 donation to the Orchestra Boosters. Overall, while some homework time was sacrificed that evening, the palpable enthusiasm and splendid tunes made the evening worth it, and I left with a new love of orchestra.

Perry Bruder, news editor

Hey kid, wanna hear a secret? You’ve probably heard of Starbucks’ hidden menu, but did you know that many other popular food chains have a hidden menu of delicious items as well? Usually these items are kept off-menu because they are hard to make or slightly wacky. Either way it is undeniable that they are quite delicious. Here is your all-access pass into the underground world of the fast food secret menu: Quesarito (Chipotle): It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No it’s a Quesarito! This mysterious monster burrito was born out of the murky depths of Chipotle. Legend has it that this giant can grow to the size of a small toddler, but what exactly is the fabled Quesarito? According to junior Tommy Olk, a conqueror of the humongous food item, it’s “basically a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla.” It is rumored that the mutant Mexican food calls to men and women like a sirens song, but beware. Not everyone can handle the overwhelming cheesiness.

McGangBang (McDonald’s): “If putting beef and chicken together is wrong, then I don’t want to be right,” said senior Jay Pederson, and it’s not hard to see why.

At its core, the McGangBang of McDonald’s consists of a McChicken, buns and all, placed between the juicy burger patties of a McDouble. This is a do-it-yourself assembly, and using your own two hands to forge such a tempting sandwich never felt or tasted so good. However, according to

Pederson, there is a side effect: “a stomach ache for a couple hours.” Still, it’s a small price to pay for a sandwich that Pederson simply described as “awesome.”

Secret Smoothies (Jamba Juice): Jamba Juice is known for its healthy drinks, so it’s no wonder that it tries to keep its dark, unhealthy side hidden. According to Jamba Juice employee and Edina High School senior Maddie Boyer, the secret menu includes “a Starburst smoothie, it’s called the ‘Pink Star,’ and a gummy bear smoothie.” Additionally there is the “‘Berry Lime Sublime,’ which has lime sherbert and blueberries.”

With secrets that good, it may be time for us all to join the dark side and tap into some of Jamba Juice’s sherbert-heavy concoctions.

The Dirty Colmann (Perkins): Senior Colmann Burrington ascended into secret menu mythology when a couple of years ago after a Hornets football victory, he created his very own secret drink at Perkins. Burrington reminisced about the fateful night: “I was like ‘have you ever tried putting a scoop or two of ice cream in (the blue drink)?’ And they were like ‘no,’ they tried it, handed them out for free that night.

It was so good, everyone liked it.” Dubbed by Burrington as “The Dirty Colmann,” the drink consists of Perkins’ blue drink with scoops of ice cream in it. To this day, after an Edina football victory “they’re free, they’re on the house,” said Burrington.

Matt Dulas, features editor

photo by Matt Dulas Two all beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a plain bun, and a McChicken for good measure.

Culture 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

March 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 6

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www.edinazephyrus.com

A Pizza My Mind: The Best Slices These days, we have an array of different music programs available at our disposal, such as iTunes, Spotify and Pandora. However, Berlin-based Soundcloud manages to stick out from the crowd with its unique audience and features.

Started in 2007, Soundcloud has had immense success with forty million registered users. Soundcloud is a great alternative for anyone looking for a new way to listen to music. Unexposed artists often use Soundcloud to gain a larger following because of its sharing features.

If you’ve never been on Soundcloud, you should know that it is not like iTunes in the way that songs or albums are available. It is completely free, and it is more for those times when you’re looking for a remix of a song, a fun dance mix, or just a simple cover.

“I love Soundcloud because it’s free and you can search for music whenever you want to,” said Edina High School junior Anna Hans.

There are also many original songs on SoundCloud. Often times artists will upload mixtapes to their account.

Junior Hugh Jones uses Soundcloud to upload the music he makes.

On his own account, Jones puts his dubstep-inspired music on the site in order to gain a larger following. “I listen to lots of experimental electronic, trap and rap,” said Jones.

“I’ve made trap recently but I made some mellow dubstep in the past.”

Overall, Soundcloud offers a unique way to listen to music that is different from most other platforms. It’s a great, free alternative to popular sites such as iTunes and Spotify.

Drew Davis, news editor

art by Sarah Aulik

Pizza rocks. Who doesn’t love it? Here’s where you can get the best of the best: Punch Pizza: Punch Pizza has by far the best sauce. While this might not seem like a big deal, the sauce is the base of a pizza. Without a good sauce, no pizza can be successful. Their sauce seems like straight tomato, so it’s incredibly flavorful. Their basic margherita pizza is divine, but I would recommend adding toppings to make it more to your taste. Even if you don’t like their pizza, try one of their amazing salads or their chocolate-hazelnut panini. While the place is always packed, the line moves quickly. Don’t worry about not being able

to be seated. By the time you have your pizza, a table will have opened up. Expect to spend $8-$15 when you go there, depending on what pizza you order, what ingredients you add, and if you get a salad.

3226 W Lake St, Minneapolis, MN 55416.

Pizzeria Lola: Lola is a good place to go to try obscure flavors. They have a Korean BBQ pizza with Niman Ranch beef short ribs, mozzarella, scallions, arugula, and sesame & soy-chili vinaigrette.

They also have a pizza with two eggs sunny-side up on it. If you aren’t feeling that adventurous, any pizza with their homemade mozzarella will do. It definitely has the best cheese of all these places. Senior Senali Dias, who works at Lola, said, “I would recommend the My Sha-Roni or the Koeran BBQ . . . My favorite part of the pizzas is the crust because it’s so chewy.” Unfortunately, they are usually way too busy to get a table. Dias advised, “The best time to come is Monday-Friday for lunch . . . or any weekday before five p.m.. Stay away on Saturday and Sunday if you want to get in quick.” Their chocolate photos by Sarah Nealon chip cookies are a must-have. Expect to spend $10-$17. 5557 Xerxes Ave S, Min-

neapolis, MN 55410.

Hello Pizza: Hello Pizza was created by the same person who created Pizzeria Lola. Unfortunately, it isn’t nearly as good. They make their pizzas earlier and then reheat them when you order, causing them to lose the freshness guaranteed by places like Punch and Lola. It’s a good place to go if you want to grab a quick slick of ‘za, but probably not a place you should frequent. Expect to spend $4-$5, depending on what slice you get. 3904 Sunnyside Rd, Minneapolis, MN 55424.

Sarah Nealon, art editor

In the (Study) Zone

Getting motivated to study can be almost as hard and as time consuming as actual studying. However, some have found that listening to music really helps with motivation, focus and stamina while studying.

Where do you start when looking for a good study playlist? Many look to iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, and Soundcloud to get them through long study sessions.

“I listen to iTunes over other music stations. I hate listening to commercials, it drives me insane,” said sophomore Clara Lerner.

By making a playlist with your own songs on iTunes, you can guarantee that you will like the songs and avoid distracting advertisements.

Others, however, prefer the online music streaming websites Pandora, Soundcloud and Spotify. A

perk of using these sites is that they are essentially pre-made playlists, which takes the time and energy out of creating your own.

“I’d recommend using an online radio website because then you can experiment with different music and artists without having to pay,” said sophomore Emma Livingston.

Soundcloud is an up-and-coming online music site. “[I prefer] Soundcloud, for sure, because I can easily see what my friends are listening to, and the ability to make playlists for songs is really good. Also, Soundcloud includes songs that aren’t necessarily on iTunes, so I can get a wider range of music,” said junior Ansel Smolund.

As for the type of music, it can vary as to what subject is being studied. “If I have to read, I typically

listen to slower-pace[d] music but if I have to do something exciting, like typing a paper, I listen to faster-pace[d] music because it almost makes me work more efficiently,” said Smolund.

“For AP Euro, I try to stick to classical music!”said Lerner. “The only subject that matters to change the music is history, and that’s because I need to read a LOT of notes for the test, and it’s really easy for me to zone out during those notes, so I listen to instrumentals for that class,” said senior Julia Barnett.

Whatever your jam, having a top notch study playlist can really help motivate you to get that essay written and that project turned in.

Sophie Cannon, staff writer

Lovin’ Local Music Minnesota has a diverse and exciting music scene that has stayed vibrant from the days of Bob Dylan to the days of Doomtree, and we can be glad that many talented musicians call Minnesota home.

No other musician from Minnesota has made more of a cultural impact than Bob Dylan, period.

“Bob Dylan has a classic sound,” said junior Grace Jefferson. “I don’t think it will ever go out of style.” Dylan became a figure of the counterculture movement in the 1960s with protest songs like “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall” and “The Times They Are a-Changin’.” His song “Like A Rolling Stone” defied the conventions of popular music by using electric instruments, which would influence musicians for years to come, notably local favorites like the Replacements and the Jayhawks. Dylan has sold more than 100 million records worldwide and is still

going strong at the age of seventy-nine.

Our music scene simply would not be what it is today without Minneapolis-born singer Prince. He helped develop the “Minneapolis sound,” a blend of funk, rock, pop, R&B, and New Wave through albums like “1999,” “Sign O’ The Times,” and the iconic “Purple Rain.”

His latest album was released last year, and he went on a string of TV appearances to promote it, smashing guitars and causing controversy like only he can.

Some up-and-coming musicians in our community are beginning to gain exposure beyond state lines. Band Polica’s most recent album has received rave reviews from publications all across the country, including Pitchfork and Rolling Stone. Rapper Lizzo’s song “Paris” was featured on HBO’s show “Girls” in January. Indie musician Jeremy Messersmith was recently

signed to Glassnote Records, the label of popular bands such as Mumford and Sons and Phoenix, and released his fourth album, “Heart Murmurs,” in February. Both Lizzo and Messersmith were listed in Time Magazine’s “Fourteen Musical Acts to Watch in 2014.”

So why is Minnesota such a great place to be a musician? First of all, the radio station 89.3 The Current has done a great deal to introduce our local treasures to a wider audience.

“I’ve definitely become more aware of the people making music in Minnesota from listening to it,” said junior Elina Wennerlund. Independent hip-hop label Rhymesayers Entertainment propelled rappers like Atmosphere and Brother Ali to the national stage, and their artists have become respected for their introspective lyrics and political subject matter. Rhymesayers also organizes the annual Soundset Festival, which

draws more than twenty thousand fans and will feature 2 Chainz, Pusha T, and Nas, among others, at this year’s festival. Meanwhile, rock clubs like First Avenue and the Triple Rock offer local musicians places to perform. The collaborative nature of our musical community is what makes us unique and sets us apart from bigger cities like New York and Chicago. Local musicians often book shows together and hold them at local venues, sponsored by local public radio stations. There really isn’t any other place that is so tight-knit and supportive while consistently putting out high-quality music. So, the next time you’re looking for a great new band, look no further than our own city streets. There’s plenty of music to go around.

Hannah Kloos, staff writer

art by Audrey Sheehy

Back Page www.edinazephyrus.com

! n Fu Aw, Spork!: common interjection used when one has misplaced one’s spork.

Blarf: adjective, referring to something simultaneously entertaining and deeply imbued with existential angst.

“Hey, dude, did you catch that Lars von Trier film on IFC last night?”

“Yeah, bro! It was, like, totally blarf!”

Book: vulgar slang term for crushed and dried tree pulp, bound into a volume, with words printed on it.

“Milford, my main man! How about afterschool, we hit up the library and get us some sick books?”

Commons, The: a large gathering area on the third floor of EHS, paid for and named after R&B sensation and Edina alumnus Common.

Computer: large box that will, if prompted, emit a beeping noise.

E-Town: colloquial name for Edina, usually used when praising said city’s hockey team, police department, or public drinking fountains.

“Man, ‘dyou see those cops stop that lady for speeding on 50th yesterday?”

“Bro, I so saw that! Yeah E-Town!” [high-five]

Volume 34 Issue 6

March 28, 2014

12 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

The Ed-ictionary Since 1784, Zephyrus has brought you the most pressing news known to man. However, we note with alarm, it has been four years since we published a dictionary of Edina’s slang, lingo, and whatnot to help you navigate the terrifying, ghastly hallways of EHS. Therefore, please accept our apologies and this belated Edictionary, Forty-Seventh Edition: E-Town: colloquial name for Eden Prairie, usually used when criticizing said city’s hockey team, police department, or astoundingly convoluted street grid.

“Man, ‘dyou hear the news? Mitchell, like, totally got busted by the EP cops last night for wire fraud!”

“Gah, I’m so sick of E-Town.” [ironic high-five] EPAC: Edina Political Action Committee, a militant far-right-wing “super PAC” that has illegally commandeered a large portion of EHS’s south side.

Flow: vestigial hairstyle present in some EHS males. While flow develops as a natural part of one’s middle school experience, most medical experts recommend that flow be removed immediately upon entry to high school to prevent such common complications as looking stupid and never being able to get into an R-rated movie because you look like you’re twelve or something.

Frost-Jammin’: The practice of cutting class and joyriding to Winnipeg.

“Yo, lady broseph! You wanna skip third hour and go frost-jammin’?”

Hashtag: primary form of communication for Edina’s socially inept.

“OMG, Rochelle! You won’t believe what hashtaghappened to me hashtag-last-night! It was so hashtag-disillusioning!”

Hockey: silly game where a bunch of guys wear funny costumes and try to hit things with sticks while they skate, then have a nice big laugh after.

J-Mac: colloquial way to refer to teen heartthrob Sen. John McCain (R-AZ).

Senior Women: coalition of Edina High School’s elderly female students, open to women at EHS age seventy-five or older. Popular Senior Women activities include participating in quilting bees, searching aimlessly for misplaced dentures, demanding discounts on public transit, and contracting contagious illnesses.

SWAPP: this slogan, typo-ridden because Ol’ Woman Peterson lost her bifocals again, appeared erroneously on 2014 Senior Women apparel. Before the misprint, the sweatshirts were to read “SWAARP”.

Library: bizarre socialist experiment wherein books (see above) are rented out free of charge.

Political scientists agree that libraries are the first step on the slippery slope towards Communism and recommend that all God-fearing Americans take every step they can to destroy this foul institution.

“Rod! Rod! Hey, some guys and me are gonna go torch a library tonight! You want in?”

“Sure, Myron! I can’t stand the Reds!”

Ling, Clare: girl I’m asking to Prom via this Back Page.

Lululemon: See Nanne, Tyler.

Edu Tas tic!

Mouse: oddly-shaped magical wand that assists computers (see above) in noise emission.

Nanne, Tyler: See Lululemon.

Osler, Micah: guy who’s vain enough to do something like this.

P-Diddy: stage name of hip young rap sensation Paula Deen.

Selfie: slang; often incorrectly used in place of the correct phrase, “self-directed low-resolution poorly-composed daguerreotype”.

Skeezy: adjective referring to something substantially less than tubular (see below). Named after Martin Skeezy, valedictorian, EHS class of 1998.

Tubular: common expression of delight or pleasant surprise. Synonym of gnarly, marvy, far-out.

“Man, Jerimi, can you believe what that guy was doing in the cafeteria on Thursday?”

“Yeah, Krandell! That was so not tubular.”

Zamboni: Big silly car that they sometimes drive onto the ice during a game of hockey (see above) to entertain the many infants and small children in the audience.