Issue 5 - March 2014

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www.edinazephyrus.com

In-Depth p. 6-7

Features p. 3

Culture p. 10

The Game of Life: All about everyone’s favorite board games!

Student Serenader: Meet Alec Cook, Edina’s own guitarist.

Donut Mess With Me: It’s Glam Doll Donuts vs. YoYo Donuts in this head to head article.

Volume 34 Issue 5

MCAs Migrating Online

February 28, 2014

Is Edina a Safe Zone?

D

art by Jessica Lin

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oes Edina High School have a bullying problem?

This past fall, two transgender students left EHS for different districts. At least one left because of harassment from fellow students.

This conflicts sharply with the impression many students and alumni have of the district: that it is an accepting place where bullying is rare.

“I can tell you off the bat that I personally was never bullied or harassed while I was at Edina,” said 2012 EHS graduate Gabe Aderhold, a prominent activist for LGBT rights, who was openly gay during his last year at the high school. “[I] thought the environment was very welcoming.”

“I think bullying is a problem in every high school. It’s in the nature of putting a large number of teenagers together,” said senior Sam Caspar. “That said, Edina does a lot better with the issue [comparatively to other schools]. In my experience, I haven’t noticed much bullying around the high school.” “[Bullying and harassment] are problems at EHS. But… our reporting of this by students is not something that we see a lot of,” said Principal Dr. Bruce Locklear.

“I think there has been a shift away from the school into cyberbullying. We get very few reports.”

In fact, Locklear said, those responsible for the harassment often turn themselves in.

“Usually, students will come up and self-report if they are in the midst of doing something negative. They’re very uncomfortable,” said Locklear. “Or, the other means we have is… bystander reporting.

O

Research shows that bullying would stop immediately if we had more bystanders to say, ‘Really, knock it off.’”

Some students, however, believe bullying takes on a different form inside the school than it does in popular culture. Bullies at EHS, they claim, work mentally, not physically.

“Kids aren’t being shoved into lockers or having their lunch money taken,” said senior Ben Goldstein. “It’s more… verbal, especially in regards to social media and the Internet.”

“I have not personally seen the clichéd version of bullying, but I have seen other forms that people don’t always realize hurt other people,” said senior Paige Harrington.

“Many students experience [bullying], but even more students close their eyes to what is happening around them. This breeds an atmosphere of ignorance and halts conversations about proactive solutions,” said 2012 EHS graduate Alec Fischer, whose film on bullying, “Minnesota Nice?”, premiered at the high school. “Is bullying a problem? Absolutely.

However, I think the bigger problem is the inability to communicate amongst students.”

Minnesota state law does not list groups protected from bullying. Edina Public Schools’ Harassment and Violence policy does enumerate protected groups, but while sexual orientation is included, gender identity and expression are not.

Many teachers at EHS display “Safe Zone” decals in their windows, which ostensibly protect students from harassment on the basis of gender identity within their classrooms. “[To me] it means that if they’re struggling with any issues, I’m a safe person to talk to,” said Biology teacher Steve Sanger. “My classroom’s safe. I’m not gonna judge them.”

“I think that the posters… establish that the classrooms are supposed to be places where

anybody can feel comfortable,” said Caspar.

“It makes the entire school seem more secure.”

However, some feel that the posters are more about helping facilitate student-teacher conversations than stopping student-to-student harassment.

“I think it’s less of a bullying prevention thing than a, ‘If you’re feeling like you wanna talk to me about anything... you can do that without fear of judgment’ thing,” said Harrington.

Still others feel the signs do nothing to help students.

“I don’t think that they have much of an effect, mostly because teachers just put them up and don’t say anything about them,” said senior Peter Illig. “I think teachers should do more than just post a sign to convey that message.”

The Safe and Supportive Minnesota Schools Act, which would have enumerated groups protected against harassment, including gender identity, at a state level, was defeated in the State Senate by a threatened ten-hour filibuster.

What can the district do to combat bullying?

“Focus more energy into the middle schools… I know that’s where the bulk of my memories of bullying come from,” said Harrington.

“Open up conversation between students and faculty about effective measures. Get feedback from the students,” said Fischer.

“Any time [bullying] comes up, we try to talk to the victim of the bullying, but we also try to talk to friends within that peer group to try to coach them, tell them, ‘This is a good thing to do if you ever see this happen,’” said Locklear. “One of the things we always talk about is, what does it mean to be a kind person?… Part of that will, hopefully, carry over and transcend into our behavior in school.”

Micah Osler, copy editor art by Audrey Sheehy

Junior Wins College Scholarship

n Jan.13, junior Christina Wagner received the Green Lights Against Bullying award that will pay for her college education at any school she chooses to go to. The award involved a benefit event, including a fashion show, silent auction, and live jazz band. All of the money raised was given to Wagner’s college fund.

The benefit was on Feb. 23 at the Skylark Rooftop in New York City and was dedicated to bullying prevention. The promotional slogan was “Compassion through Fashion.”

Wagner had an all-expenses-paid trip to receive the award. “I spent the night in the Skylark Lounge, in the heart of Times Square, with the most gorgeous view. I was treated like a model, getting my hair and makeup

professionaly done, and was dressed up in a gorgeous dress,” said Wagner.

She also spoke on Feb. 25 in front of an audience of one thousand filled with students, politicians, and press.

Meredith O’Connor, a young artist in Canada who performed her new song “Just the Thing” at the event, and Saboroma Couture, a fashion company and sponsor of the award, contacted PACER National Bullying Prevention Center, the organization with which Wagner is highly involved, for candidates to compete for this scholarship. PACER contacted Wagner, and she sent in her application telling her story. She was chosen out of many qualified candidates.

Continued online at edinazephyrus.com Audrey Sheehy, staff writer

The official newspaper of Edina High School

photo by Maddie Fischer

ext year, the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessments will switch to an online model. For countless years, Minnesota students can recall the MCA tests coming in big paper booklets. The changes arose after the Minnesota legislature required the state to take the MCAs online, saving money on graders.

“As of next year, the MCAs will be taken along with a new college and career assessment. The new assessment is the ACT. You don’t have to pass the MCAs to graduate. However, you have to take them.

If you don’t pass the MCA, you can substitute it for an ACT score, which is the college and career assessment. Consequently, current sophomores will take the MCA English test while next year, juniors will take two tests, the MCA math test and a college and career assessment,” said Dean of Students Michael Pretasky.

“Also, it seems as if by 2015 or 2016 there will be no more MCA, which will be replaced by the college and career assessment.”

A problem that may arise with the online test is the limited time and resources students will have to take the tests. “We are given a window of time between mid-march to mid-may to take the tests,” said Pretasky.

“We already do the Science MCAs online and that works well. What may pose a challenge is if the state says that everyone must take the MCAs at the same time. We could maybe use the Chromebooks along with the existing computers in the library, because students cannot take state tests on their own devices,” said Media Specialist Sara Swenson.

Some students welcome the change. “I hate the MCAs being on Scantrons. I feel like I might mark something wrong, versus computers, where I feel comfortable that my answer was recorded correctly,” said sophomore Catherine Lee. The online format could facilitate the grading process. “It can be convenient that they are online in terms of post-test data collection for the graders,” said sophomore Alan Lu. Others, though, disapprove of it. “I hate that the MCAs are going to be on the computer because it makes me feel dizzy and it makes it harder to concentrate. I like pen and paper better,” said sophomore Mara Finnegan.

Some students feel as if a hard copy of the test would be more beneficial. “I believe that the online MCAs will be more difficult because writing on the test and visually processing the problem helps me do better,” said sophomore Regina Fricton.

Madeline Marker, staff writer

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

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News

www.edinazephyrus.com

Volume 34 Issue 5

February 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Edina Rugby Goes to England The Edina Rugby Team went on a trip in the United Kingdom to learn more about the game.

“The team is going to get world-class experience

and training from some of the best teams in the world,” said junior Ezra Sergent-Leventhal after the trip. They were in England for six days, as

photo courtesy of Edina Rugby Team

they left on Feb. 11 and returned on Feb. 17.

The team stayed in Gloucester and Rugby, England. “Gloucester is a city famous for its Cathedral. Rugby is the place where the game was invented,” said Sergent-Leventhal. For a little geographic help, Gloucester is west of London and Rugby is northwest of London in central England.

The team played matches against Old Richians Rugby Club (with a win of twenty-seven points to zero), and Bilton RFC (with another win of twenty-eight to fourteen). The team also watched a professional Rugby Union game between Leicester and Gloucester.

To help provide funding for some athletes who wanted to go on the trip but couldn’t afford it, “[The team] had numerous flower sales, a garage sale, and a dinner party,” said SergentLeventhal.

Other than playing rugby and traveling, the

team headed to the Alnwick Casle thirty miles outside of Newcastle, where most of the Harry Potter films were shot. In addition, they went to see the Webb Ellis Museum, which honors the man who allegedly created the sport of rugby.

“Nowhere in the U.S. do we [get the] opportunity to train with English National Team members as we do here,” said Sergent-Leventhal.

Teammates agreed that this trip will change their respect for the sport. “Visiting the city of Rugby allowed us to gain an appreciation of the history of rugby that we will not soon forget,” said Sergent-Leventhal.

Upon the team’s return, senior John Stych said, “The trip was a totally rockin’ time.” For the team members who were able to attend, there was lots of time to grow closer. And as for their matches in England? “We killed it,” said Stych.

Noah Chestler, staff writer

Snapchat: Blocked on Edina Open Last week, Snapchat, a popular app that allows users to send one another picture messages that disappear seconds later, was blocked on Edina Open Wi-fi.

Students are no longer able to send or receive messages on the platform.

Other social media apps, like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, are not blocked.

District Media administrator Steve Buettner said that, in fact, Snapchat was blocked because of the app’s anonymous nature.

“It is just another form of communication that students use. So I think that until there is a reported issue with it, Snapchat should not be banned,” said junior Andrew Cochrane.

Such networks have been deemed unsafe because Edina Open does not require a password to access.

Senior Alex Davis describes this as a “minor inconvenience, but [understands] because some people don’t just use it for selfies and use it irresponsibly.”

This is, in fact, another part of the district’s rationale.

“Snapchat doesn’t have academic value,” said Buettener.

“We want to keep as many things open as possible,

but when the safety of students is at risk, we have to take action,” Buettener continued.

“I think that it was a good decision on the school’s part. Students should be focusing on school, not snapchat. The school has a right to control what students do on their Wi-Fi network and on the school owned devices. Overall, I believe it was a good choice because students should be focusing in class rather than checking Snapchat,” said a junior who wanted to remain unnamed.

Many students have got around the block by using their data plans instead of the school’s Wi-Fi to access the network.

Recently, there has been talk around the school about requiring a username and password to access Edina Wi-Fi. This means that the safety of students will be heightened and blocked apps such as Snapchat will potentially be unblocked.

Bess Pearson, opinion editor

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

Super Bowl LII: The Cold Bowl

art by Audrey Sheehy

With the building of a new Vikings stadium projected to come to fruition sometime in 2016, hosting the 2018 Super Bowl isn’t out of the question for Minnesota.

On Jan.17, Governor Mark Dayton officially announced the government’s support for the bid.

He went on to comment on how exciting the possibility of hosting a second Super Bowl could be.

Besides the new stadium, Minneapolis has its light rail system for ease of transportation, the Convention Center downtown to host the NFL events that lead up to the big game, and a plethora of hotels to house guests coming from around the country and world.

Minneapolis, along with New Orleans and Indianapolis, was recently selected as one of the three finalist cities for the 2018 Super Bowl.

The official host city of Super Bowl LII will be

announced by the NFL in May of 2014.

Minneapolis could have the upper hand in the bid, seeing as a new stadium would play host, as opposed to the 43 year old Mercedes-Benz Superdome (home of the New Orleans Saints) and the 13 year old Lucas Oil Stadium (home of the Indianapolis Colts).

New Orleans has hosted ten Super Bowls, tying Miami for most Super Bowls hosted by a single city. Indianapolis and Minneapolis have both hosted one Super Bowl in 2012 and 1992, respectively.

What does this mean for Edina residents, though?

Senior Jack Kewitsch had a few things to say about the upsides of the Super Bowl. “It would not only be great for the economy, but also the community. It’s estimated that [Super Bowl LII]

would bring 100,000 people and $100 million dollars to our economy,” said Kewitsch.

“It would help showcase the remarkable [new] stadium, and all the things to do in MSP during the winter months. Beyond that, it would bring over 120 million people through the TV audience.

Regardless of traffic concerns and weather issues, it would be a great event for the community,” Kewitsch continued.

On the other hand, senior Armeen Shahriar spoke about the downsides.

“Can you imagine the traffic? We wouldn’t be able to drive anywhere the whole week leading up to it. And our weather is too harsh for the common man. It just wouldn’t work,” noted Shahriar.

Will Hagens, staff writer

Features February 28, 2014

Enter Boone Man

As a teacher of AP Statistics, students flock to David Boone’s classroom each day for help. “It’s a great place to teach. The kids are very academically inclined, they enjoy the challenge,” said Boone, who is in his ninth year at Edina High School. “[Mr. Boone] is my boy. I love that guy,” said sophomore Tyler Eckberg. In addition to being a teacher at EHS, Boone is the head coach of the Edina Track and Field team, where he sent two athletes to the state meet last year. “I was the head coach at Cooper before coming here, then I assisted when Jamie [Kirkpatrick] was the head coach. When Jamie wanted to step down, it felt right to step forward and be the head coach,” said Boone.

If you’ve seen Mr. Boone recently, you know his legendary beard and all of its alluring mystery. “It all started with No Shave November… I have done that for several years. Or some years I will start the beard in January and call it Manuary. I kind of strung it together from Novembeard to Decembeard to Manuary. . . to, I dunno, I gotta figure out what February is,” said Boone. He says his goal is to one day have a Duck Dynasty-style beard.

Mr. Boone attended high school at Winona Senior High, and was a basketball, football, and track athlete. “I liked photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz football for the team aspect, but I also liked track and field for the individual accolades,” said Boone. Upon graduating in 1988, Boone attended college at Winona State University.

He then received two Master’s degrees from St. Mary’s and St. Thomas.

In his free time, Boone enjoys attending his daughter’s activities: soccer games, orchestra concerts, and more. “With friends … I like going to smaller venues like the Cedar Cultural Center or the Dakota Jazz Club,” said Boone.

If you’ve had Boone as a teacher, you probably know his famous YouTube videos about math. With party favorites like “Sweet Asymptotes,” and ‘Letter e,’ there’s no way not to love them. He’s working on some new material, too. “[I have] some ideas in the works, the song ‘My First Kiss’ is ‘My First Test,’ and the song ‘Enter Sandman’ is ‘Enter Statman.’ Both these songs are written already,” said Boone.

Noah Chestler, staff writer

Volume 34 Issue 5

www.edinazephyrus.com

(This One Time at Band Camp...)

Even midyear, stories of Band Camp still make students laugh. Here, some bandies share their funny stories of what happens at Band Camp:

art by Annika Smith-Ortiz

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

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“This one time at band camp, my dad (a social studies teacher at EHS) was taking me to the last band party, and upon seeing the house, remarked that they would be ‘the first against the wall when the revolution comes.’

Of course I reminded him to ‘take it down a notch, comrade’ and that ‘maybe we should skip over the communism lecture this year.’” - sophomore Lucas Baron “My fave memory is the annual very competitive and violent game of Red Rover between the saxophones and the baritones.” - senior Ben Kilberg “Someone got asked to homecoming, which was kind of funny.”

-sophomore Catherine Lee “The drum majors (myself included) wrote swag on everything... we make all of the posters for welcoming kids and we make our own costumes for the dress up days so we tried to hide the word swag in everything.”

-senior Jack Halverson “Sophomore year band camp I thought Armeen Shahriar and Isaac Chestler were the same person.” -senior Bridget Jensen “This one time, we realized at 12:58 that we had to be back at school by 1 p.m., so that’s how I wound up in Ben Kilberg’s car going 70 mph on Valley View. It was terrifying.” -senior Micah Osler

Hannah Sommerville, managing editor

“Cook-ing” Up Some Fresh, Hot Guitar Chords

He roams the halls and strums his guitar, entertaining all those who are lucky enough to be in a classroom he chooses to visit. Is he strumming more than just his guitar, though? Perhaps he’s strumming our heartstrings too. His name is Alec Cook, and he is a guitar man (among many other things). Now sit back and soak in some of his thoughts on the whole matter.

“I’ve been playing guitar for about five years,” said Cook. “I took lessons for a while, and then my teacher moved away so I got a new teacher, and eventually I got to be as good as that teacher so we stopped going to that guy.” He obviously had some guitar experience, and the whole thing started when Cook was bored in music class one day back in sophomore year.

“I was bored... so I just started walking around with the guitar,” said Cook. The initial reaction was positive, so Cook began to walk around with his guitar every Friday.

Cook always has an open hour in his schedule, so now he walks around whenever he “deems it necessary to sing to the merry folk of Edina High School.” There are different reactions whenever Cook enters a classroom. “Usually the teachers find it really funny, or

are [mean] and don’t let me in,” said Cook.

Cook says his main influences are “the Christian God, number one. And then probably Satan as number two because without Satan, God would have nothing to do... three, I’ll go Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin. Four, Jimi Hendrix. Five, Flight of the Conchords.” After some more thinking he added, “actually, no, put Jimi first because Jimi and God are interchangeable.”

Cook wants people to understand is that there’s more than meets the eye. He doesn’t want to be remembered as just “the guy who walked around with a guitar sometimes.” To some people (his parents), he’s a son. To other people, he’s a pal. And to the hordes of people he charms with his sweet chords and licks, he’s a guitar man. And his best advice? “Be yourself.”

Griffin Thompson, staff writer

photos by Bridgit Loeffelholz

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www.edinazephyrus.com

Features

Volume 34 Issue 5

February 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Life as a Refugee: an Inside Look tain range. “[They had to leave] in the middle of the night because there were [Chinese] guards watching to see if anybody was fleeing,” Methok said.

Methok’s grandparents gave birth to her mother in Shimla, a small village in Northern India. “They didn’t know any Hindi, so they started working on… railroad construction,” said Methok. Born in India, her mother learned Hindi in school and from her surroundings, all while speaking Tibetan with her parents at home.

Her family moved to the New Delhi refugee camp because it had the best resources – a school located in the camp and jobs for the tenants. “Comphoto by Bridgit Loffelholz pared to here, it wasn’t that nice. There were only four public restrooms, one for [every] two hundred In her fourth year at Edina, junior Tenzin people, ” said Methok. Furthermore, the hospitals Methok is a member of the badminton team and were located outside the refugee camp. a participant in the Multicultural Club. She clearly Methok lived in a house with her family near enriches Edina’s student body. Her childhood story, the entrance of the camp. When her family arrived, however, is far from ordinary and widely unknown. they had to build their own house if they wanted “I was born in Dehli, India, in a refugee camp,” shelter. Food and clothes weren’t provided either. said Methok. After Chinese occupation and oppres- A large road ran through the camp, leading to the sion, her grandfather and grandmother – married in camp bazaar where the residents would buy their Tibet – fled together, leaving their families behind. necessary supplies. The camp was run by the Indian They crossed the border into India, journeying government, and except for the land itself, the camp through the Himalayas, the world’s highest moun- provided very few resources. Everyone had to fend

Undercover Hangouts

A typical Saturday night in Edina goes like this: you’re with your friends in someone’s car looking for somewhere to go. Nobody offers up their house, and there’s no party happening nearby. You and your friends head to McDonald’s or Taco Bell, arguably the most popular late-night Edina hangout spots. However, these fast food joints get old after a while.

“There’s not much to do in Edina. It gets really boring sometimes,” said junior Anna Hans.

Here are three ideas for what you can do with friends next time you’re bored: 1. The Airport. I know what you’re thinking: why would I want to watch planes take off? The airport can be a nice, quiet spot for you and your friends. Before the Terminal One exit on Interstate 494, you take the Post Road exit and turn left, which leads to the Cell Phone lot. There’s also a great view of downtown Minneapolis.

It’s fun to go there at night because it has an eerie feel to it, and it’s great if you’re looking for photos by Drew Davis a peaceful place to talk with friends. “Sometimes I like to hang out with my friends and just relax and talk,” said Hans.

2. Big Stores. Superstores such as Target can be zoos during the day, but at night it’s only the agoraphobes who go shopping there. There are a multitude of different activities in which to partake in at stores such as Target or Walmart, including Hide-and-Go-Seek. Trust me, there are a ton of great spots to hide in Target (hint: the luggage section). Just make sure not to make a huge distraction while you’re there, because the last thing you want to have happen is get kicked out.

“I think it’s fun to try on random outfits at Target with my friends,” said junior Amy Fang.

3. Furniture Stores. Furniture stores are just great; they have beds, fake kitchens, and nobody goes to them at night. Stores like Ikea are the perfect place to have fun with friends, and also do some furniture shopping if you’re in the mood.

“One time my friends and I didn’t have anywhere to hang out, so we sat in the JC Penney furniture section for two hours,” said junior Emily Marshall.

Hopefully, these three places will help you break away from the traditional hangout spots in the bubble, and try something new. But as junior Sophia Munic puts it, “Where you hang out is important, but it’s who you hang out with that really matters.”

Drew Davis, news editor

for themselves, Methok recalled. “Even though I was born there, I am not an Indian citizen. A refugee is what I am considered if I go back there,” said Methok.

Methok celebrated her Tibetan culture in the camp, but she was also engaged in local Indian celebrations. She recalls that as a child she enjoyed the Indian celebrations more. “It didn’t seem like our culture was so different, until you stepped outside the camp,” she noted. For Tibetan New Year, Methok and her family would celebrate for three days, which they still do today. They make noodles that contain paper inside to give to everyone in the family. The paper describes the person’s relationships and attitudes from the previous year.

The teachers were both Tibetan refugees and Indians helping the children learn the culture. “In the mornings, we would have to line up and go outside [and] we would have to sing the Tibetan and then Indian national anthem. It would be sort of like military style,” recalled Methok. By American standards, Methok would have been a preschooler.

Each day in the refugee camp, Methok would wake up early and her aunt would make her breakfast and take her to school. “School had a lot of requirements that they don’t have in America. I couldn’t grow my nails out, so every morning I

would have to cut them,” said Methok. She remembers severe punishments for children who did not meet the requirements. Teachers would check the students’ uniforms, shoes, hair, and nails every morning. If anything was not satisfactory, students would be placed in a separate line to receive three hard thrashes to their hands with a stick.

“After my mom moved to America, I was still in India… I was living with my aunt,” said Methok.

Her grandfather died when she was young, but her aunt and grandmother raised her in the camp. Her mother received political asylum in America and Methok followed her shortly. “I was very young at that time and... [my mother] wanted to prepare everything first in America before I came, so it would be easier for me to settle in,” said Methok.

Methok’s family had to pay for their flight tickets. “We didn’t know a lot about America, I always thought Americans were rich. They earn a lot of money. It was the rich land,” Methok said. Her family flew into New York and from there went to Minnesota. Methok lived in Minneapolis for seven years where she attended elementary and middle school.

Continued on www.edinazephyrus.com Audrey Sheehy, staff witer

McManus: the McMan, the McMyth, the McLegend

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz Functions, Statistics, and Trigonometry teacher Timothy McManus is one of the most interesting teachers at Edina High School. “I came up with a way to make infrared cameras lighter and consume less power so it’s possible for them to be mounted onto a helmet of some sort so firemen could use [them],” recounted McManus, describing his favorite of his seven patents.

McManus has an undergraduate degree from the Massachusetts Institution of Technology in electrical engineering and a Master’s from MIT as well. “About ten years ago now, I went back to school at St. Thomas to get a degree in teaching so I could teach arithmetic,” said McManus. He said he simply enjoys teaching and was inspired by his math teacher in high school.

He also has a few hobbies. “I tinker with electrical hardware in my basement. And mainly in the summer time, I run and ride my bike,” McManus said. He doesn’t have a favorite book, but he does have a favorite music genre: jazz.

Although he has time for biking and running in the summer, he still has a year round engineering job on top of teaching. “It was originally called [Community Health Solutions] and got bought by Baxter eventually, and we’re developing a dialysis machine on steroids. This summer it looks like I’ll be working at Honeywell, upgrading one of their inertial navigation systems,” said McManus.

“I’ve led a very interesting life and have met a lot of interesting people,” said McManus. This includes

musicians like Woody Herman and Stan Kenton. Woody Herman was an American jazz clarinetist featured in Super Bowl VII. Stan Kenton was a pianist and composer who led an American jazz orchestra.

In addition to that, the girl McManus took to Prom in high school is now congresswoman Elizabeth Esty, representing the fifth district of Connecticut. McManus also shared a house after graduate school with a man who went to federal prison, Jim Fry. Fry was found guilty of conspiracy and fraud and got twenty years in federal prison; he’ll be released in 2029.

McManus’ children share his love of math. “My daughter, on the other hand, is a big time math weenie,” McManus added. His father-in-law was a world famous mathematician who knew John Nash and Ted Kaczyinski. The movie “A Beautiful Mind” is based off of John Nash, and Ted Kaczyinski, known as the “Unabomber,” was an American mathematician and serial murderer.

Students are big fans of McManus. “I really like Mr. McManus as a teacher because he knows so much about FST and can explain it well. He really helps his students through our journey of math, I’m lucky to have him as a teacher,” said sophomore Will Staunton.

So from the esteemed academic halls of MIT to the slightly less esteemed halls of Edina High School, McManus has made his mark as a scholar.

Erik Lindquist, staff writer

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Sports 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

February 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 5

www.edinazephyrus.com

Hornets Take Lake, Set Eyes On State Edina Varsity Hockey’s last game of the regular season was not a “must win” for the Hornets, as even with a loss against rival Eden Prairie, they would win the Lake Conference by the rule of a tie-breaker. But the Hornets didn’t let up for a minute as they defeated the Eagles 5-3. I caught up with some of the players in the parking lot traffic after school to find out what exactly winning the prestigious Lake Conference meant to them. photo by Chuck Wait “Winning the Lake Conference was a goal forward and all around good guy Matt Masterfrom day one and the boys have played really man. “Towards the beginning of the year Fuss well” explained defenseman Sam Fuss. “All would not let me exfoliate those hard-to-reach the hot showers have really paid off.” places in the shower, but as the season went “It has proven to me the importance of team on, we grew as a team and we now wash each chemistry in order to achieve success,” said other’s backs like it’s nobody’s business.”

On a less shower-related note, defensemen Paul Meyer and Ben Foley looked at the bigger picture. “To win the Lake Conference and come out of the regular season on top gives us momentum heading into the post-season,” said Meyer.

“I love [the Fitbit] because it keeps me active and gives me a constant reminder of what I have done throughout the day,” said senior Mason Guyette.

Fitbit, based in San Francisco, is an up and coming company that sells activity tracking devices. The most popular devices at Edina High School are the wristband models, the Fitbit Force and the Fitbit Flex.

The Force and the Flex are similar in style, however, the Force has a few more functions.

Both wristbands track steps, distance traveled, calories burned, active minutes, and sleep patterns, while the Force can also tell time and track stairs climbed. Besides from tracking activity and sleep, the Fitbit doubles as a

silent alarm. “I use the alarm a lot. It vibrates quietly on my wrist rather than making a loud noise,” said senior Molly Schechinger.

The Fitbit links through WiFi and Bluetooth to computers and mobile devices, allowing the user to see his or her exact data as the day goes on. The user can enter dietary information, set goals, and even compete against friends for who takes the most steps or burns the most calories.

Data is compiled into charts, graphs, and percentages, allowing the user to easily understand their day to day activity. “Every night I look at my data and look for the areas where I can improve,” said Guyette. “I would enter my [dietary information] to get an even better

“It’s a great accomplishment, but our eyes have always been set on another state championship,” said Foley, and with an 8-2 playoff win over Prior Lake on Saturday night, the Hornets came one step closer to defending their state title and, pending the result of this past Wednesday’s game against Bloomington Jefferson, could be making their eighth consecutive state tournament appearance.

“Losing is not an option,” said Foley.

But no matter what happens going forward, forward Dylan Malmquist had a clear message to share. “I just want to thank the managers,” he said.

Tanner Sparrow, sports editor

The Fundamentals of Fitbit

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

The Human Hamster Ball Many people struggle to run on the treadmill, not because they can’t run, but because the treadmill is so tedious. It’s basically an elaborate hamster wheel for humans, but significantly less fun. Here are some suggestions on how to make your treadmill experience far more tolerable and maybe even… enjoyable?

Turn the incline all the way up. Put on rock climbing gear. When you finish your workout, stick a flag in the top of the treadmill and yell in a British accent about how you “claim this treadmill for Her Majesty the Queen” and dedicate this accomplishment to “all the poor blokes that died along the way.” Then go have afternoon tea and talk about the good ol’ days of British imperialism.

Take a nap on the treadmill. If you’re on a treadmill, anything counts as exercise, plus when someone asks you “how long were you on the treadmill?” you can respond “five hours,” and they will be either very impressed or horrified.

Set the treadmill at a sub-five minute mile pace and try to dance. Twerking usually yields the best outcome. It’s fun you guys, I swear! *wink wink* Cry. Construct a contraption that puts a donut just out of reach so you can never get it while you do your workout. It will either motivate

you to superhuman endurance feats, or drive you to an existential crisis of epic proportions that will likely end in you talking to yourself like this: “Why can’t I reach the donut? Does this represent how life has no meaning? Life has no meaning. What am I doing with my life?

What’s the point? We’re all going to die anyway. We’re all just running on a treadmill going nowhere. Where am I? *Falls* Play the staring game. The game is played by staring at some random stranger for as long as possible without them noticing. When they finally notice you, you must make eye contact and try to hold it for as long as possible. Results vary from finding your soul mate to getting jumped by a buff, testosterone-infused man yelling “Whatchu looking at, punky?”

Set the treadmill speed to one mile per hour and eat a whole bag of beef jerky whilst reading a saucy romance novel (actually saw this happen, and they seemed to really be enjoying themselves).

Make fun of the people on the ellipticals.

“You ellipti-losers, I remember when I needed help running!” *falls* Cry some more.

Matt Dulas, features editor

understanding of what my daily activities do for me, but that seems like too much work.”

But what is it about the Fitbit that gets people to stay active? “My friends and I set goals and compete against each other... I sometimes get up and just walk around to meet my goals,” said Schechinger.

Whether you are an active person or not, the Fitbit is a fun and personalized way to get you up and going. “I really do like it. It’s fun and interesting to be able to watch what you do each day. Achieving goals that you set is rewarding,” said Schechinger.

Jack Hultstrand, print editor in chief

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

Senior Matt Dulas demonstrates exemplary treadmill technique.

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Opinion

www.edinazephyrus.com

Volume 34 Issue 5

February 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Cutting Athletes, Cutting Dreams You’ve worked so hard to get to that one moment: the moment where you find out what team you made after tryouts. After the wait, you leave disappointed. You didn’t make the team you wanted. You didn’t even make a team at all! Is cutting in sports really necessary?

For those of us who are lucky enough to have played the same sport since we were two years old, being cut isn’t an issue. However, the people who have started at a later age should have the same opportunity to improve. One can’t get better without experiencing a sport in action, at practice, and during games.

I’m not saying that every sport at Edina is a cut sport, because that’s just not the truth.

But the sports that do cut generally are more intense and hardcore about playing to win.

But is that the only reason to play a sport?

To win? High school sports should be about getting the opportunity to grow, not being the next big NBA player.

People who have been playing a sport for a long time usually aren’t playing for just the fun of it. But, those of us who like to try a variety of different activities usually do them for fun. So when we can’t play a sport because we are cut, it denies us the opportunity to have and try new things.

At Edina High School, fewer than half of the sports cut players, allowing most people the opportunity to play. But for the others, it’s hard to play the sport they want to. Only the talented players who have been committed from a young age get to play.

Cuts or no cuts, disappointment is inevitable. There cannot be a happy medium here.

For the sports that do cut, they maintain a

Grades are important to most high school students. They are an important factor in determining college acceptances. In my opinion, tests should count for a larger portion of one’s grade, but homework should be considered as well. Homework is indicative of a student’s hard work and effort while tests demonstrate learning and ability. Some people have test anxiety, however, and this is why the effort that they put forth by completing homework should be considered too.

According to Edina High School’s registered nurse, Celsey Bergsten, “Test anxiety can mean many different things. Some people have

general anxiety which is worsened by tests.

Others have anxiety over tests in general.”

However, grade inflation is a prevalent issue. According to senior Mary Beth Dahl, “I think it’s an issue that almost half of the seniors this year [will graduate] with honors.”

But is it really that bad? Well, statistics agree. The national average grade point average in public schools has risen from 2.97 to 3.01 from 2001 to today. However, I think that if you take a school like Edina, filled with highly motivated students who are expected to get A’s, grade inflation is an inevitable issue.

How teachers respond to the high amount of

A’s is up to them, but I feel that if they make tests harder, students will only work harder to get the perfect grade. So in the end, I think that it is best to have teachers value tests as most of one’s grade.

Tests show one’s level of understanding in a subject area, but homework should still carry some weight. Students who don’t perform well on tests will have the opportunity to show teachers the skills they are developing through homework. As grade inflation rises, however, it is important to not have homework weighted too much.

Perry Bruder, news editor

There are many different kinds of teachers.

Some are so formal that they wear suits on Fridays, while others don casual wear daily.

Some teachers never laugh in class, while others crack jokes regularly. Recently, a new kind of teacher has emerged. Perhaps it is the fact that we’re almost out of the school (and their

classrooms) for good, but teachers seem to be getting much friendlier to seniors.

A few teachers have been known to respond if students send them Snapchats. Others will play students back if challenged in the trivia game QuizUp. Some people may think that this is ruining the student-teacher relationship, subsequently causing teachers to lose respect, but I disagree. Yes, this new form of communication is changing the relationship between students and teachers, but I would argue that they are being improved, not destroyed. By interacting with students in places where they would usually connect with friends, teachers are making themselves seem less like intimidating, mysterious figures who are responsible for our grades.

Seniors Amy Hobday and Anna Tsakakis went to Punch Pizza with French teacher Kim Caster. “It was last summer so we had just tested out of AP French junior year and weren’t her students anymore. . . It was a great time and we got to catch up about our summers. It was nice because there was no pressure anymore because school was over, so we just had fun,” explained Hobday.

This sort of experience helps students feel more comfortable around their teachers, and thus more willing to approach them with questions outside of the curriculum. I have learned many things from old teachers by having discussions that don’t necessarily relate to the subject they teach.

This relationship can be mutually beneficial for teachers and students. Senior Josie Thuma introduced Social Studies teacher Nickie McKeever to the trivia game QuizUp. “He loved QuizUp. He was really good at the flags one and the capitals one,” said Thuma. For those of you who don’t know, McKeever prides himself on being able to name the capital of every country in the world.

I’m not saying that teachers and students should text each other mid-lecture or lament about gridlock in Congress during a test. I think this sort of relationship shouldn’t distract other students who are trying to learn.

But there’s nothing wrong with stopping by a teacher’s room and chatting with them when neither of you have class.

Sarah Nealon, art editor

photo by Maddie Fischer hard-working team, and not cutting would be unrealistic. But in the sports that don’t cut, nobody is denied the opportunity to learn, and beginning to cut may mean losing potential athletes. Overall, cuts are not the right way to maintain a successful team.

Megan Hussey, staff writer

Rethinking Grading Policies

Should Students and Teachers be Friends?

photo by Maddie Fischer Teacher Ried Boltman with senior Isaac Chestler

Deport Bieber In light of the recent controversy involving Justin Bieber, there was a petition created to have Bieber deported back to his home country of Canada, in which over 250,000 people signed on in support. As a result, the White House must provide an official response, as it is well over the threshold of 100,000 signatories that is required. Despite the overwhelming support of the American people to purge their borders of “The Biebs,” it is highly unlikely that Bieber will be sent packing back to our northern neighbor.

For one, Bieber is extremely wealthy and powerful, and with wealth and power come great lawyers and less likelihood of a conviction that would remove him from the country. Secondly, Bieber has yet to commit a crime that fits the standards for one that would send him back to Canada. According to Allen Wernick of the New York Daily News, “The crimes that lead most often to deportation of noncitizens like Justin Bieber are drug crimes, crimes the law calls ‘aggravated felonies,’ and crimes involving moral turpitude.” Bieber’s recent offenses of DUI, drag racing, resisting arrest, and driving without a valid driver’s license generally do not constitute evil intent.

Despite the low probability of Bieber being deported from the United States, there is still good reason to have him deported. Justin Bieber has millions of followers on Twitter and other social media sites, and massive horde of fanatics that are creepily in love with him. As a result, Bieber has a large scope of influence. Anything he says or does, no matter how brash, is likely to be broadcasted to the entirety of the country and supported by his self-proclaimed “Beliebers.”

This carries serious implications for the nation, as he is negatively impacting our next generation of American citizens in a very profound way. His ideals of lawlessness and immorality are being projected onto our youth, and skew their still developing sense of right and wrong.

Furthermore, the most concerning thing about Bieber is the frequency in which he blatantly and unremorsefully breaks the law. Though as of late the attention has been singularly focused on his DUI and drag racing charges, he has also been charged with egging his neighbor’s house, with damages estimated at $20,000, and assaulting a limousine driver in addition to a plethora of other offenses.

However, many argue that Bieber is just acting like a typical nineteen-year-old and will grow out of this phase into a responsible adult like everyone else. If this is the case, why is it that we never hear about other rich teens, like One Direction, drag racing Lamborghinis in a residential neighborhood, or peeing in a mop bucket, or insulting America by cursing at former president Bill Clinton? This is because Bieber is a menace.

If we truly “care” about Justin Bieber growing up into a responsible adult, I would argue the most beneficial thing to do would be to deport him. The sole reason why Bieber is such a scourge is that he has so much money that he feels as though he can do whatever he wants without suffering due consequences.

By deporting Bieber from the U.S., we would be taking away a large portion of his income, and thus neutralizing Bieber’s power base. This would allow much needed self-reflection for Bieber, and perhaps allow him to grow up into a person that is not only musically talented but also law-abiding.

Matt Dulas, features editor

Zephyrus Staff

print editor in chief: Jack Hultstrand online editor in chief: Clare Ling copy editor: Micah Osler art editor: Sarah Nealon managing editor: Hannah Sommerville advertising manager: Will Hagens online page editor: Hannah Sommerville news editors: Drew Davis, Perry Bruder features editors: Matt Dulas, Patricia Leach sports editor: Tanner Sparrow in-depth editor: Sarah Aydinalp opinion editors: Bess Pearson, Jackson Van Dyke culture editors: Matt Woolsey, Alexi Diem back page editors: Jack Hultstrand, Clare Ling, Micah Osler, Sarah Nealon, Hannah Sommerville, Matt Dulas staff writers: Adair Andre, Ellie Bender, Sophie Cannon, Noah Chestler, Will Hagens, Mia Hilali, Megan Hussey, Hannah Kloos, Chiara Kohlmayr, Emily Kraft, Erik Lindquist, Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, John Osler, Farhia Osman, Audrey Sheehy, Griffin Thompson head photographer: Bridgit Loeffelholz assistant photographer: Maddie Fischer photographers/artists: Genevieve Anderegg, Sarah Aulik, Sophie Cannon, Oliva Chen, Emily Ding, Zoe Gunderson, Lydia Gutowsky, Cici Holmquist, Martina Horns, Jessica Lin, Katie Manderfeld, Jamie Mustful, Lauren Petersen, Alex Riddle, Casey Robinson, Audrey Sheehy, Jessica Smith, Annika Smith-Ortiz, Ellie Weir, Emma Westbrook graphic designer: Katie Manderfeld advisor: Elizabeth Barniskis Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

Opinion 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

February 28, 2014

Group Study Buddy

photo by Maddie Fischer You’re sitting in your room, alone, staring at that math problem that’s been tormenting you for over half an hour. Or maybe it’s that question about biopsychosocial theory that you just can’t seem to get. Either way, this feeling of hopelessness as you try to prevent yourself from falling into a dark, bottomless pit of confusion is all too familiar. What you need is a study group.

Before I get ahead of myself, study groups are not for everyone. Commitment is required from everyone to keep on track, and sometimes putting a group of high school students in the same small place, when they’re already cranky from the school day, just isn’t a good idea. But when done right, study group ses-

sions are an excellent way to boost your grade on that next test.

Students aren’t the only victims of overwhelming schedules, and our complicated lives rarely match up with our teachers’ when we need a quick review session. Study groups, though, can meet anywhere to fit their needs.

Friends understand your homework and sports schedules better than teachers, and everyone can be on same page when establishing dates to meet.

Another reason why I love study groups: going overboard on everything. Even for simple concepts, groups force you to really go in depth when explaining things, simply because you want to reassure yourself that

Stranium in the Cranium In a generation of rising academic standards, AP classes starting at eighth grade, and intensive ACT prep courses, it’s no surprise that stress levels in high school students have reached record highs. According to a study conducted by The Oregonian, the number of students dealing with anxiety and stress problems is five times of that in teens studied in the Great Depression era, a change linked directly to the high increase of schoolwork for high school students.

“There is so much pressure to do so much,” says senior Henry Rohlf. “[There’s pressure] not only to get good grades, but also to become as actively involved as possible.”

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), there has been a sixty-seven percent increase in high schoolers taking college classes, and a rise in ACT test scores. With rising competition, students are placing an unreasonable amount of pressure on themselves to stand out among their peers.

With so many kids taking college classes and advanced courses, it has become nearly impossible for students to feel smart alongside their classmates.

Students interviewed all admitted having to stay up late to finish homework, affecting the amount of sleep they get. “I lose a lot of sleep each night trying to finish all my homework. Usually I go to bed around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.,” said junior Sarah Jerstad.

Students reported school as either their main stressor or one of the top ones to worry about. “School causes me stress, especially when I fall behind,” said junior Ian Brown. “I become loaded with more homework, which just snowballs until I’ve got more homework than I’m capable of doing, and it all gets to be incredibly stressful.”

According to the American Psychology

Association, with growing homework loads, scientists are finding higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress disorders in high school students. There seems to be a strong correlation between the amount of homework students do and these disorders.

“I see stressed kids all around me,” said junior Colin Dobin. “High schoolers are always stressed. It’s a part of life at this age since we are all trying so hard to do well at everything we do.” Students on average spend eight hours each day at school. Also, according to a study conducted by the Huffington Post, students do an average of four hours of homework on top of that. This results in students spending, on average, twelve hours a day chained to a desk. This has students working fifty to sixty hours a week, which according to the Huffington Post, is the national average. This is ten to twenty hours more than a full-time employee works per week.

With rising amounts of homework, students are losing valuable time for relaxation and exercise. According to Harris Cooper, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, “[A student] will miss out on active playtime, essential for learning social skills, proper brain development, and warding off childhood obesity.”

According to Psychology Today, play is crucial to the development of children. It affects children’s creativity, their social skills, and even their brain development. The absence of play, physical exercise, and free-form social interaction takes a serious toll on many children. It can also have significant health implications, as it’s evident in our current epidemic of childhood obesity, sleep deprivation, low self-esteem, and depression.

Continued online at edinazephyrus.com Patricia Leach, features editor

Volume 34 Issue 5 you know your stuff. You may spend more time on each question, but you’ll be sure to have understood all the overarching ideas.

Of course, studying in a group also encourages you to explain things out loud. By speaking and listening to others, you’re improving your ability to recall important information.

Additionally, students who have a firm grasp on some materials can offer different perspectives and explain how they mastered it. Think of it as socializing with an extra academic boost benefit.

Finally, it’s all about the motivation. When you know you have a whole group of people counting on you, you’ll be so much more likely to do that one annoying assignment in order not to disappoint. More motivation to keep caught up on work means more effort is put in, and as a result, more understanding comes out.

Nevertheless, even with many benefits, these study sessions sometimes have a sketchy reputation, as unorganized plans and sessions lead to wasted study time. In order to guarantee an effective study group that actually builds on your knowledge rather than obstructing it, plan ahead and try to stick to a firm schedule.

Most importantly, avoid distractions.

Keep the group size to about three to six students and set up ten minute breaks every forty-five minutes to refresh your mind and reduce temptations to get distracted during the actual session.

Setting a schedule early on, making sure you’re on track with the actual class, and consistently meeting at the same place, same time, with the same people will ensure study groups don’t turn in to a social disaster.

Chiara Kohlmayr, staff writer

Fast and Foodious Every day, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner millions of Americans pour into fast food restaurants looking for a quick, cheap meal. According to merriamwebster.com, fast food is food that can be prepared and served quickly.

By this definition I would say that eateries such as Noodles and Company, Chipotle, and Panera Bread wouldn’t be considered fast food, while McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s all would be.

For me, the main factor in determining fast food is the freshness and quality of the food.

Take Chipotle, for instance. While in the restaurant, you can see the cooks preparing the food with fresher ingredients. The ingredients are being cooked on the spot.

The burritos aren’t made until you walk in the door and to me, that freshness makes Chipotle not fast food.

“Chipotle is not fast food. It is fast casual.

Fast casual is when you order and they make it for you with a little wait. They make it fresh,” said senior Ben Kilberg. By this definition, fast casual also includes Punch Pizza,

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www.edinazephyrus.com

Insisting

We all know those people. The ones who insist on things. From restaurants to music in the car, with a sense of superiority and arrogance, these fools have to have everything a certain way.

No restaurants are ever good enough, except their favorites of course. Even though this restaurant also has burgers, that restaurant is obviously better, they say. To them, novelties and slight differences in food are obviously more important than respecting the people around them and their relationships. Or maybe they need to a go to a certain restaurant to fulfill their self stereotypical image. I mean they aren’t really a man unless they eat steak and stuff all the time, right?

Maybe they don’t care about the restaurant they eat at more than their fellow humans, but they need their jams. Their music is obviously better than everyone else’s, right? They pride themself in having such an impeccable taste in music. There’s no chance anyone could possibly think their music isn’t perfect. As if that isn’t bad enough, maybe it’s not even their music. Maybe it’s a radio station. Maybe they care more about music they aren’t even picking than how people around them view them. But it’s totally okay, because everyone loves country music!

Maybe they refuse to hang out with certain people. They’re right: he didn’t go out of his way to say hi to them the other day. That wave from across the cafeteria definitely wasn’t enough. They should ignore them and refuse to do anything with them to make social occasions as difficult as possible.

This isn’t to say that having preferences and opinions is bad. It really isn’t. Being pouty and whiny is. The trick to pretty much everything is respect. Be respectful and think about how other people feel, because it’s just not sustainable for one person to always make decisions for a group. Just discuss things, and generally they’ll work out a little better.

Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor Noodles and Company, and Panera Bread.

Fastcasual.com states that fast casual does not offer full table service, but it promises a higher quality of food and atmosphere than a fast food restaurant.

When I think of fast food, I think of cheap, greasy, pre-prepared food. I can make a McDonald’s or Burger King run and be in and out of there in five minutes, only having spent three dollars. But whenever I go to Noodles, it’s usually a pricier outing in which the food is brought to a table.

It feels more like a restaurant setting rather than a fast food place. At McDonalds, the fries are sitting out ready to be taken, while the burgers and other various items are delivered to you within seconds of ordering.

Alexi Diem, culture editor

art by Sarah Aulik

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www.edinazephyrus.com

Culture Volume 34 Issue 5

February 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Vic Volare and His Slicked Back Hair Although seeing teachers outside of school can sometimes be a bit off putting, there are always certain exceptions. In our case: Brent Eggert.

Substitute teacher by day and lounge singer by night, Eggert goes under the alias of Vic Volare when he takes to the stage.

Although his pseudonym is unbeknownst to some, Eggert’s musical ability should come as no surprise. When Orchestra teacher Sarah Duffy was on maternity leave last spring,Volare served as a long-term sub. “One morning we had Chamber Orchestra and rather than conducting, he started playing along with his clarinet,” recalled senior Oliver Chiu.

Band members also had fond memories of the musically inclined Eggert when he subbed for their class.

“He gave us a thirty minute clarinet lesson in front of the whole band,” said senior Jesse Marquisee.

Last year, I had the pleasure of seeing Mr. Eggert - ahem - Vic Volare, perform under the spotlights of Hell’s Kitchen in Minneapolis, where he wowed the audience with his bluesy melodies and breathtaking blazers.

I had never been to a lounge show until that night, but I can honestly say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Saddled up with Hell’s Kitchen’s trusty lemon-ricotta pancakes, I was seated a few tables from the stage but had no trouble hearing Volare’s silky swing.

His passion for the music was evident, and he kept a friendly banter going with the audience.

Maybe it was just the magic of seeing a teacher doing something other than teaching, but there really was something special about Volare’s performance. He seemed so comfortable and capable on stage, that when the disco-ball-esque blazer was pulled out for the second half, I wasn’t even fazed. The dazzling fabric just matched Volare’s equally shining show.

Intrigued yet? Check out Volare’s website for a calendar of his upcoming events, or visit Hell’s Kitchen on Mar. 21 at 6:00 pm for a swingin’ good time!

Clare Ling, online editor in chief

D nut Mess with Me Ever since Krispy Kreme left Minnesota, the Twin Cities has had somewhat of a dry spell of donuts. Of course, there are always the cheap donuts from gas stations and grocery stores, but they aren’t quite the same. There’s something about a fresh donut that just makes life a little better. Recently, good donuts have become more available for us Edinians, with shops like Glam Doll Donuts and YoYo Donuts coming to the Twin Cities.

Both shops are relatively new and aren’t franchises. They both take pride in their family recipes for donuts and the coffee they serve. Their donuts are always made fresh, reminding us of the good ol’ days of Krispy Kreme. Both serve classic donuts and their own interesting flavors with ingredients like bacon and cayenne pecans. Though these two shops sound extremely similar, they each have their own unique touches that make them different.

Glam Doll Donuts is located on Nicollet Avenue in Minneapolis. Though it is a bit of a trek from Edina, it is worth the trouble. They have many different flavors and types, each with a fun name, like the Calendar Girl (a chocolate and salted caramel donut), the Femme Fatale (a raspberry curd filling donut with vanilla icing), and the Misfit (orange, cinnamon, and ginger glazed). Each week they have a special flavor called the Glam Doll. Also, for those animal lovers out there, many of their flavors are vegan! Though they are a bit pricy compared to grocery-store donuts, the taste and experience is incomparable. Their most expensive donut is called The Girl Next Door and it’s $3.75. To make your dining experience better, Glam Doll has a fun coffee shop feel with comfy couches and cute decorations.

YoYo Donuts is a bit easier to reach, as it is just a few minutes away in Eden Prairie. The donuts are smaller, but they are also much less expensive. They have many different flavors; however, the selection was limited because they run out early in the day, so make sure to go early! While their best sellers were sold out, the ones left were quite delicious. One lemon-filled and one limefilled powdered donut along with a cherry fritter were a delectable treat. The bestseller is their maple-bacon long john which has a full strip of bacon on top. The shop is a little smaller, but it has nice open windows and many flavors of gelato.

Edina’s own senior Allie Whiteside works at YoYo and her favorite flavor is the glazed croissant donut.

Adair Andre, staff writer

photo by Adair Andre

art by Sarah Aulik

Banned in the Bubble?

Driving through Edina, you see the upscale Galleria shopping mall, the well-groomed parks, and the high-end grocery stores like Jerry’s and Byerly’s. Have you ever wondered why you don’t pass by a McDonald’s, a Wal-Mart, or a non-city owned liquor store? I have, so I talked to a few members of the Edina Planning Committee for some answers.

Senior Ben Kilberg is one of two Edina High School students on the board of the Edina Planning Committee this year. The committee is responsible for zoning, construction guidelines, and making the city as beautiful as possible.

“Edina’s a really unique city,” said Kilberg. Considering all the rules and regulations regarding which buildings can be built and to what size, this is undoubtedly true.

The most probable reason we don’t have any Wal-Marts in Edina is that Wal-Marts require a lot of undeveloped space that the city of Edina just does not have. “Since we already have five grocery stores and not a lot of space, there is really no market for a Wal-Mart,” said Kilberg. There is no law against Wal-Marts, though.

What about fast-food chains like Burger King, McDonald’s or Taco Bell? Another member of the Edina Planning Committee, Mike Fischer, helped to clear up any misconceptions about Edina’s strict zoning policies, starting with fast food.

As it turns out, fast food establishments are allowed in Edina. However, they must comply with all rules and regulations surrounding the construction and operation of Edina businesses.

“Zoning districts near single-family neighborhoods do not allow food sales in the drive-through (only drinks and light bakery items), which rules out most fast food establishments from wanting to locate in that area. In other areas, we do not even allow drive-throughs. If a McDonald’s wanted to locate at 50th and France, they would have to be on the first floor of a building without a drive-through,” said Fischer.

What about liquor stores? As it turns out, there is a way for cities to ban non-city operated liquor stores, and Edina has done so. A city can ban other liquor operations if it has a municipal store.

“In order to provide a lot of public goods and services, taking control of liquor sales brings in revenue to do that,” said Kilberg.

Even inside of restaurants and bars, the sale of alcohol is limited. “I am not sure what year we finally decided to allow restaurants to serve alcohol, but they must sell at least 60% food compared to 40% drinks. This is why we do not have bars and nightclubs in Edina. We only very recently allowed happy hours, but even then, they cannot discount the liquor, only the food,” said Fischer.

Sophie Cannon, staff writer

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Culture 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

February 28, 2014

Volume 34 Issue 5

www.edinazephyrus.com

Unsuspected Late Night Bites It’s late at night and there’s nothing left to do, so instead of rotting away in a dark basement, a late night snack seems like the best option.

After more than one post-midnight trek to McDonald’s or Perkins, these food runs become more of a last resort than a grand finale to a Friday night. Mickey Dees’ isn’t the only twenty-four seven joint out there, and switching up fourth-meal destinations could turn a last minute fun grab into a weekend highlight.

JJ’s Coffee and Wine Bistro (7942 Mitchell Road, Eden Prairie, MN, 55439): This ritzy coffee shop has locations in both Eden Prairie and on Lake Street in Minneapolis. Open from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. (10:30 in Eden Prairie) Friday and Saturday, JJ’s isn’t open incredibly late, but it boasts an elegant late night atmosphere for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Serving up a terrific cup of joe and an exotic (in a good way, of course) Green Tea Frappe, their all day coffee and breakfast sandwiches paired with a wine bar (for the adults, in case you were wondering) and higher

Based On a True Story?

I’m sure from watching horror movies, you often see the caption “based on a true story.” If you’re like most people, you probably cast doubt on this statement.

To start, let’s look at “The Conjuring,” a horror movie released in 2013 that follows a team of husband and wife investigators that explore the validity of a house deemed haunted. Did the horrors and demonic spirits from this movie actually exist? Junior Andreley Bjelland thinks so. “I think “The Conjuring” is probably loosely based on a true story.” According to April Perron, a temporary resident of that home, “I was approached more than anyone and I actually had a relationship with that [ghostly] boy.”

The horror movie classic, “Amityville Horror,” claims it’s based on a true story. Made in the 70’s, a family moves into a New England home that they got dirt cheap due to allegations of its haunted past. The father of the family is driven crazy and attempts to murder his wife and kids by the evil spirits that reside there. While certain elements were overplayed in the film for drama, the creators claimed in the Huffington Post that “fictional elements should not downplay the Lutzes’ real-life experiences, which included seeing phantom human-like apparitions, beds slamming up and down, and other paranormal events.”

art by Cici Holmquist

“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” claims to be based on a true story, but is the insane violence that Leatherface inflicts on his victims real? Well, there was no Leatherface, but the story itself remains true. Edward Gein of Wisconsin murdered people while scalping off their faces in the 1950’s. This man, who made national headlines, provided the basis for other horror movies like “Psycho” and “The Silence of the Lambs.”

“The Exorcist” is one of the most well-known horror movie. Made in 1979, it follows the attempts of a mother of an allegedly demon-possessed daughter to help her child recover. The validity of this “true story” provides the case for many religious disputes over beliefs of the supernatural world. Sophomore Megan Docherty thinks, “‘The Exorcist’ is definitely not based on a true story.”

However, the story of the demon-possessed girl is indeed based on rumors surrounding an anonymous boy who experienced similar occurrences in 1949 but as his mother notes, his symptoms were much exaggerated in the film.

Perry Bruder, news editor

end dinner menu will make you want to speed through the drive through just before close.

The Red Cow (3624 W 50th St, Minneapolis, MN, 55410): What some might call a pretentious burger joint is really a high quality restaurant with excellent food. The meat isn’t just beef, it’s a certified angus burger, and it’s absolutely delicious. Not only is the burger delicious, but their attention to details like pretzel buns from local bakery Breadsmith and chilled root beer mugs make for the pinnacle of late night meals. Apart from mediocre fries, Red Cow is the perfect step up from a kid’s meal to a more adult experience open from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m It might be easy to pop into Taco Bell at midnight, but why not take a little adventure to somewhere a little more high end to ensure a more tasty end to the traditional weekend hang out?

Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor

Matt Woosley, culture editor

The Best of

“Daily Grace is gonna teach you how to do something” is one of the many jingles of the YouTube user Dailygrace, who is absolutely hilarious. She has segments commenting on comments, reviewing products, and sexy Friday videos where she talks about things like first kisses, summer flings, or anything awkward. Although her voice is quite nasally, her mini-songs might just get stuck in your head for days.

Dailygrace’s brother’s channel Timwilldestroyyou is also quite funny. It’s just a different type of humor, so watch each of them, then maybe subscribe to both. “John Hamm being a ham, while eating a ham sandwich” was one of the thoughts inside his head.

He explained that he half sang this/half screamed it at a stoplight with his window open after shopping at Ikea. He tells funny stories like that in the majority of his videos.

Old school Dylan O’Brien videos are a must see. He has this amazing channel from when he was even younger and nerdier that you probably ever knew about. One of the best ones features O’Brien singing Spice Girls “Wanna Be,” alone in his room before

photo by Matt Woosley The perfect way to start your day, embodied in a Pepper Jack Spinach Sandwich from JJ’s Coffee and Wine Bistro.

art by Alex Riddle

his friend comes in and judges him. He’s just a boy being a boy, but it’s funny and not completely obnoxious. Plus, he’s hot and semi-famous from playing Stiles in “Teen Wolf.”

If you’re having trouble falling asleep, put on one of Gentle Whispering’s videos. With a peaceful background and a soothing voice with music, you’ll be asleep in no time. Now, I don’t know about you, but I can’t sleep when I have technology on, but give it a try and tell me how it goes. Maybe you’d have the most relaxing rest of your life. Or maybe you’ll just laugh.

Meanwhile, YouTuber Glozell will have you keeled over, tears rolling down your cheeks, especially when she’s reading song lyrics or criticizing anything. Just watch one video - I dare you. The way she moves her head around, her inflections, and her facial expressions are priceless.

Julian Smith is the diva of YouTube. His videos are incredibly high-quality and I’m pretty sure he YouTubes for a living - he’s just that good. His songs are my favorite, especially “Reading a Book.”

Sarah Aydinalp, in-depth editor

2014 Oscar Predictions Best Picture () “American Hustle” () “Captain Phillips” () “Dallas Buyers Club” () “Gravity” () “Her” () “Nebraska” () “Philomena” (x) “12 Years a Slave” () “The Wolf of Wall Street”

Best Director () David O. Russel, “American Hustle” (x) Alfonso Cuarón, “Gravity” () Alexander Payne, “Nebraska” () Steve McQueen, “12 Years a Slave” () Martin Scorsese, “The Wolf of Wall Street”

Best Actor () Christian Bale, “American Hustle” () Chiwetel Ejiofor, “12 Years a Slave” () Bruce Dern, “Nebraska” (x) Matthew McConaughey, “Dallas Buyers Club” () Leonardo DiCaprio, “The Wolf of Wall Street”

Best Actress () Amy Adams, “American Hustle” () Sandra Bullock, “Gravity” (x) Cate Blanchett, “Blue Jasmine” () Judi Dench, “Philomena” () Meryl Streep, “August: Osage County”

This years Best Picture candidates are all very strong films.

But, “12 Years a Slave” is likely to win. “12 Years a Slave” took home the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture - Drama and the the BAFTA for best film.

Steve McQueen’s picture was sensational and disturbing. “Gravity” and “American Hustle” could also take it home.

Once again, all of these directors did a fantastic job. I believe the award is going to go to Alfonso Cuarón because not only was Gravity amazing, but the direction was unbelievable.

Cuarón was able to set up a shot that lasted thirteen minutes without a cut. That’s impressive.

Also, he took home the Golden Globe, and the BAFTA.

This is one of the toughest categories this year. I’m an avid supporter of every single actor nominated. I believe this is going to go to Matthew McConaughey for “Dallas Buyers Club”.

He was amazing and won the Golden Globe and SAG. Don’t count out any of the other actors, though, especially DiCaprio.

I don’t know much about this category. From what I’ve heard Cate Blanchett was remarkable and she has been sweeping in all of the awards for her performance. She seems like a solid lock.

Amy Adams was also fortunate enough to take home a Golden Globe. Judi Dench could be a darkhorse.

For more predictions visit edinazephyurs.com

Alexi Diem, culture editor

Back Page 12

www.edinazephyrus.com

Volume 34 Issue 5

February 28, 2014

6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

AS

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nEW !

S N U U F S! .

R . . s t Y n e H s e r P ZpEroudly p Choose-Yer-Own-Adventure:

!

TIC

SPRING BREAK!

It is the last day of school before Spring Break. The bell rings. You leave the building. What do you do?

GO HOME.

GO TO THE AIRPORT.

You arrive at home. You eat dinner and sleep. The first day of Spring Break dawns, and with it comes twentyeight inches of heavy snow. What do you do?

Your family is waiting. “Hello, son or daughter!” your mother or father or guardian says. “Are you ready for our wonderful trip to ______?”

FROLIC.

CRY.

DRIVE TO CANADA.

FLORIDA.

CALIFORNIA.

You are now in the emergency room after developing frostbite on every bit of exposed flesh on your body. What do you do?

Your salty tears melt the snow. Freed of its icy blanket, Minnesota awakens from winter.

Daffodils sprout from the ground, birds sing, children dance gaily about the May-Pole, and all is well. Because you saved your region from its icy eternity, you are now revered as the GodKing of the Midwest. For the remainder of spring break, you recline on a couch as servants feed you individual grapes and fan you with palm fronds within your marble palace.

You arrive in Canada, the Happiest Place on Earth™. The next week is a wonderful, delirious phantasmagoria of strange tastes and smells, otherworldly music coming from nowhere yet ever ywhere, the company of a thousand angels, lots of snow, dancing until the breathtaking dawn breaks, mystifying wonders both natural and manmade, and the Westminster model of parliamentary democracy.

You touch down in Florida and get off your plane. Immediately, a rogue alligator roaming the airport eats your younger sister. “Only in Florida!” you say to your parents as you share a hearty laugh. What do you do?

You touch down in California and get off your plane. Immediately, a rogue Lindsay Lohan roaming the airport eats your younger sister. “Only in California!” you say to yo u r p a re nt s a s you share a hearty laugh. What do you do?

PLAY FLAPPY BIRD WITH YOUR REMAINING FINGER.

You achieve a score of fifty-six before your finger falls off.

CRY.

GO SWIMMING.

GO SWIMMING. LAUGH AT THE WEARY, DEAD-EYED

TAMPER WITH VOTING MACHINES.

PEOPLE OF LOS ANGELES.

RECORD YET ANOTHER EMOTION-

Your tears soothe your battered flesh.

With a surge of energy, you run for seventy-two straight hours until you get to Florida, where you reconnect with your friends, all of whom are nice enough not to ask why your skin is purple and puffy and smells weird.

You spend hours looking at the world-famous sights – The IHOP, the Diamond Business Center, Emerson Process Management LLC, the access road to 494, even Eden Prairie’s very own Costco!

VISIT SCENIC TECHNOLOGY DRIVE.

You are taken hostage by a tribe of swamp people. Using your wits, you escape right before they boil you alive in a pot of tanning lotion and Gatorade.

“My word!” you exclaim as you gaze upon its shining, effusive glory. “They have a Panera and a shady Verizon kiosk!”

Thankfully, in Eden Prairie, this is an exceedingly easy thing to do.

GET LOST.

TAKE A PILGRIMAGE TO THE EDEN PRAIRIE MALL.

Using basic coding skills and an Allen wrench, you successfully rig twenty-eight local, state, and federal elections. “Best Spring Break ever!” you say to yourself.

Ten months later, Donkey Kong is inaugurated as the thirty-third, and to date the most effective, Governor of Florida.

You are rock legend Brian Wilson, of Beach Boys fame. As you graduated from high school in 1960, you probably should not be taking this quiz.

ALLY RESONANT ALBUM OF POP STANDARDS.

As it turns out, those surfers are laughing at you, not with you.

“Mock us all you want,” they say in unison as you gawk, “for someday you will be one of us.”

Thirty-seven years later, you wake up in your Santa Monica apartment at 3 a.m., screaming, as you realize with horror that they were right.

EDEN PRAIRIE.

“Oh boy!” you shout giddily as your sixhour plane ride comes to an end and you touch down at the Eden Prairie International Airport. “This is a dream come true!”

What do you do?