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In-Depth p. 6-7
Culture p. 10
Sports p. 5
Apocalypse 2012 : All about everyone’s favorite global catastrophe.
Holidazzle!: Minnesota’s favorite parade, as seen from high school.
How to be a good fan: Advice from Edina’s student section.
Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
A SECOND LIFE FOR SOUTHDALE Renovation promises to reinvigorate America’s first indoor shopping center
Writer’s Block goes to Chicago
photos by Talia Edelheit
Southdale Director of Marketing Lauren Carpenter stands in front of the mall’s renovated façade. Southdale Center’s multimillion-dollar renovation is finished and open to the public, just in time for the holiday shopping season. Since the remodel began in 2011, Southdale has expanded retail, built a new food court, and redesigned its aesthetics. By cultivating the charm it had back in 1956 as America’s first indoor shopping center, the mall hopes to recreate its original success. The mall began as the brainchild of architect Victor Gruen, who disliked the suburban sprawl of the 1950s and sought to create a community core for the quickly developing Edina. He saw the Southdale shopping mall as a place for locals to meet and form a community. Lauren Carpenter, Director of Marketing and Business Development at Southdale, said Southdale intends to reinstate Gruen’s approach. “We want to bring the local shoppers back, and create a comfortable atmosphere.” How? According to Carpenter, by making Southdale the unique place it was originally. The mall now includes new stores to Minnesota, activities and events targeting all demographics, and a design intended to create a comfortable and elegant atmosphere. Edina students feel optimistic toward the renovation. New stores like Madewell grabbed the attention of senior Lauren Dahl; as she put it, “I’d have to sell my organs on the black market to buy clothes there, but I’m considering it!” Sophomore Annie Moorhead commented, “I really didn’t like the old layout, it definitely needed to be improved.” But will the new mall generate the influx of customers mall administration bargained for? So far, the outlook appears to be in the mall’s favor. “Just from the work that had been done up through August, stores picked up over a 30% increase in sales,” Carpenter confirmed. “Everything you can think of has been updated,” Carpenter said. A dozen new stores have been introduced, from Journey’s footwear to the younger-geared J.Crew off-shoot Madewell (its first store in Minnesota). The new food court allows shoppers to choose from a variety of cuisines, from sushi to Smashburger, and is equipped with modern furniture and a domed skylight to bring in natural light. “I think it’s perfect,” Carpenter admitted. The mall’s center is reminiscent of the 1956 design, furnished with wood-paneling, shiny new flooring, and the original clock and tall metal sculptures integrated to recreate the mall’s old charm. Still, folks may wonder, why go to Southdale when there’s MOA? Because, said Carpenter, “It’s designed with the community in mind; it’s made for local shoppers.” The remodel intends to create a more personalized and V.I.P. shopping experience including random shopper giveaways, stores tailored to locals, and friendly places for folks to hang out. The mall recognizes its only hope to compete is to make itself one-of-a-kind, just as it was in the beginning. Not only does the mall hope to bring the locals back, but also revive itself as one of the leading shopping destinations in the state. Carpenter has confidence in the mall’s new goals. After all, as she put it, “People love Southdale.” Madison Hobbs, staff writer
photo by Andrea Kimball
The five coaches and Mrs. Mohs and Mrs. Cosgrove eat lunch at the conference. On November 2-4, I had the honor to present at the National Conference in Peer Tutoring in Writing with four other students: Sarah Jones, Grace Meyer, Maggie Stang, and Eliza Thompson. All five of us have been coaching student writers for two years at Edina High School’s writing center, The Writer’s Block. We were accompanied by Martha Cosgrove and Bethany Mohs, English teachers and coordinators of The Writer’s Block. First of all, what is The Writer’s Block? You may not have heard of us, but we are a resource for all Edina students to get advice and assistance in any stage of the writing process. We help with personal writing, English essays, timed writing, and everything in between. “It’s a place where students can work one on one with a coach on his/her writing with the goal of making better writers,” explained Grace Meyer, head coach. At the conference, we attended informational sessions presented by high schools and universities across the country. Edina was one of the few high schools to present; most of the sessions were presented by college or graduate students. We learned about different peer tutoring philosophies and gained new ideas to put to work back in Edina. Most notably, we presented our own thirty minute session to about fifty people. We talked about The Writer’s Block and our unique philosophy of being “coaches” rather than “tutors.” We don’t correct papers, but rather work with students to bolster not only their writing in that specific paper but their writing in general. “It was fun to be asked questions from college writing centers that were curious about our methods,” said coach Maggie Stang. “[My favorite part was] getting different perspectives from different writing centers from across the country to enhance our work,” said Coach Sarah Jones. “I felt very proud,” said Bethany Mohs about the trip as a whole. “I felt a real sense of accomplishment in terms of what I saw our student writing coaches do.” The Writer’s Block is currently working on its next project: The National Peace Essay writing contest. Students are invited to write a 1500 word essay this winter, and enter it in a contest to win up to $10,000. Andrea Kimball, editor in chief
The official newspaper of Edina High School
News
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Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
The new standards of French In early November, students in Pre-A.P. French Language and Culture got quite a surprise during class – the course had been changed from Pre-A.P. to A.P. They would be taking the A.P. French exam in May, and the class would now count with a 1.2x multiplier in their weighted grade point averages. The class’s focus, concerned with France and the French-speaking world’s cultural heritage and an advanced-level knowledge of the French language, did not change, nor has there been any major shift in coursework following the announcement. While the class will now cover all thirty-six potential topics for the A.P. French exam in one year, the assignments and tasks the students encounter will reportedly be very similar to those announced previously. While changing a class from Pre-A.P. to A.P. is unprecedented in recent Edina history, mid-year changes in syllabi are relatively common. As well, compared to some midterm announcements, what essentially amounts to an additional final exam and a grade bump is rather mild. Still, students were surprised by the announcement. Most were pleased. “The class difficulty is the exact same, and I get to get the A.P. test done with,” said Junior Ben Goldstein. “And a harder [looking course on my] transcript with no added work? Loving it!” Junior Sydney Paugh was more ambivalent. “I’m a little intimidated by having three A.P. classes and the A.P. testing season will be super stressful, but I’m also excited because I get to be done with the rigorous French curriculum,” Paugh said. “Plus, I get to take Cinema [official title: French Culture in the Modern World] next year, so that’s an upside.” “The class atmosphere has not changed much,” A.P. French Language and Culture teacher Kimberly Caster noted. “The students from Pre-A.P. should really be feeling no change in expectations, just the name of the course.” Regarding the school’s rationale for changing the course’s name, if not its content, Caster said “all students of any language should have access to an A.P. language experience (as they
do in Spanish, Latin, and German), so we wanted to remedy that as soon as possible.” She also noted that the school “wanted to make this change in time for the college search process” for the seniors in the class. As for potential drawbacks of the shift, Caster noted that “students interested in doing well on the A.P. test may have to push themselves harder outside of the classroom to learn all of the possible material.” However, she pointed out that “most of the juniors involved were already thinking of taking the A.P. test this spring despite the fact that they were in a Pre-A.P. course.” Micah Osler, staff writer
Over the river... and to the mall Christmas shopping and Black Friday, more specifically, has been known for being a hectic mess of moms snatching away gifts from each other. For Edina High School students that probably sounds like something they would rather watch on YouTube later as opposed to actually being a part of. Nonetheless many students decided to face the cold and wait in line with the crazy masses of deal seekers. Why? According to sophomore Sia Tortorelis “It’s the excitement! The idea that you can get gifts for everyone on your Christmas list and stuff for yourself for cheap is awesome! I mean 80% off designer jeans? Yes please!” Even for those who aren’t as into great deals on high end clothing, the hype and excitement of standing outside of Target for hours on end with hundreds of strangers is enough to get many into the Christmas spirit. Black Friday is also known for the horror stories surrounding it. Junior Senali Diasabeygunawardena shared one of her stories, “[My family and I] were at Walmart and this lady budged in the line and another lady wanted to
fight her so they started this huge fight in the store.” Last year, one woman in California pepper sprayed other shoppers in order to get an Xbox. A man was bitten in Texas by a woman trying to get a TV. This year at Target in Edina, the line wrapped from the front of the store all the way around to the side. Shoppers started lining up hours before the nine p.m. opening time and were bundled up amidst the chilly winter weather. “I don’t think that people should have to work on Thanksgiving,” said Junior Ben Selcke, “I think the companies are destroying Thanksgiving because of their ruthless profit driven objectives.” This year, stores like Target and Walmart opened earlier than ever on Black Friday. In fact, they opened on Thanksgiving day itself. Diasabeygunawardena, who works at Pizzeria Lola, said, “I had to work on Thanksgiving, it’s very stupid.” Junior Madison Peterson who works at Caribou added, “I want to spend time with my family!” There is a plus side though. “I think that in the spirit of capitalism and democracy, this is a great step.”
said sophomore Will Kerwin. “Some say that it ruins a great holiday for some, but some people need to work today! Some people need the hours and they’ll be the ones who work. We should not hold people back from their job if they want and need to do it.” Jackson T. Van Dyke, Drew Davis, Matt Woolsey, staff writers
A very messy world Do students at Edina High School have opinions about the things going on in the world, nationally and locally right now? The new President of China, who spent a year studying in the United States, has been reelected, Italy’s Prime Minister Silvo Buscolini was recently convicted of tax fraud and nationally, the president of the United States, Barack Obama, has been recently reelected. But how strongly do EHS students feel about these events? Do they really care? Zephyrus had the chance to interview some students on how they feel about these events. Do they prefer hearing about local, national or global news? Senior Jaryd Ross, claimed “I watch local news and sometimes national news.” Sophomore, Amy Fang claimed that she prefers watching worldwide news. “I enjoy seeing what is happening in places far away. I think it’s good to have a bigger view of the World.” Sophomore Lya Meahyan agreed with Fang but added, “It’s an important thing to know about what’s going on in this country- politics, issues, and foreign relations.” Some students at Edina High School don’t watch news at all. “I don’t stay up to watch the news on TV- I’m busy with my own life (school, activities, etc.),” said Junior Andrew Johnson. However, some areas such as technology seemed to create an interest in students. “I couldn’t wait to get the iPhone 5. I was following updates on its unveil to the public the entire time!” said Sophomore Mikeala Johnston. Regardless of the events, the interests of EHS students cover a huge spectrum. Perry Bruder, staff writer
art by Julia Bolter
Response to Minnetonka yoga pants ban
What happened to Louie Nanne?
Features 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
December 7, 2012
Volume 33 Issue 3
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Pop some tags, got $20 in my pocket Senior Ali Miller loves thrift shopping, “because you can find really unique clothes, for only two dollars.” This idea of shopping at thrift shops in Minnesota has begun to spread around the EHS student body. Junior Frank Hartman likes to thrift shop because “There’s great deals on great clothing.” Hartman’s favorite place to thrift shop is Arc Value Village. Being able to drive to Goodwill or Ragstock and find the perfect pair of jeans or a vintage looking jacket is not only appealing to high school students, but has now become a popular song, “Thrift Shop,” written and performed by rap artist, Mackelmore. Ragstock, located in the center of downtown, is the one stop shop for any crazy, vintage looking clothing. This store is a bit pricier than other shops, but it has also proved to have quality clothing, accessories and even morph suits. Goodwill, which has many different locations around Minneapolis, is the all-around thrift shop. Here, you can find a pair of jeans for two dollars, a vintage Beatles shirt for five dollars, and an old television for a mere fifteen bucks. Shopping at Goodwill also helps the community make money and helps this business continue to provide clothing options for those who can’t afford pricey clothing. Savers and Arc, both located in Richfield and Bloomington, provide the same service as Goodwill and help the members of the community by providing them with clothing and other inexpensive necessities. Do you have twenty dollars in your pocket? Take a trip out of the bubble and go see what everyone is talking about. Thrift shopping is an experience like none other and going with friends makes it even more fun. Talia Edelheit, news editor
art by Nick Crain
An interview with Santa Grandpa With the holiday season approaching, the “mall Santa” is a common sight for many shoppers. Along with eggnog and Black Friday brawls, Santa at the mall has become a timely mark of ringing in the Christmas season. These Santas have been portrayed as impatient and cruel as seen in the movie “A Christmas Story,” as well as being extremely selfless and thoughtful, like the Santa in “Miracle on 34th Street.” Mike Barlow a.k.a. “Santa Grandpa” is the Santa at Southdale Center this year, and he definitely fits the “selfless and thoughtful” description. “Santa Grandpa” has been granting wishes to the youth of America for twenty-two years now, but we learned that there is much more than just candy canes and sugar plumbs under his thick red velvet coat when he recalled a few moments that really touched his heart. Santa Grandpa told us that about twenty years ago, “A little girl
of about thirteen years old came up, looked at me, asked me to sit down... she got in my lap, and she said ‘Would you be my dad’s friend?’” After saying yes, Barlow heard something that still brings tears to his eyes when the girl told him, “My dad’s having a hard time with me dying.” She then asked if Santa would take her dad to a baseball game. Four months later Barlow received a letter from the family stating that their daughter had passed, enclosed were tickets to a Twin’s game. So Santa went to the game with the girl’s father and formed a friendship that has lasted to this day. As Barlow put it “Santa gets as much out of being Santa as the kids do by coming and sitting in my lap.” As well as being Kris Kringle, Barlow has spent time as an entrepreneur, owning two other business from which he is now “semi-retired.” When asked what the most asked-for toy was, he said, “This year, any of the game consoles, as far as older toys go, Barbie.” Jackson T. Van Dyke, Matt Woolsey and Drew Davis, staff writers photo by Matt Woolsey
Art comes ea���� for Claire Jensen
One of junior Claire Jensen’s proudest artistic achievements was her first time winning an art competition at the Minnesota State Fair when she was thirteen. Her colored pencil drawing of a Corgi won her a blue ribbon, but it didn’t stop there. Jensen would come back to win multiple more titles for a total of five blue ribbons (and counting!) over the course of six years. For Jensen, art isn’t just a hobby, it’s a passion. Jensen has been drawing and painting since second grade and became interested in art partly after being inspired by some of her cousins’ drawings. Jensen has been a part of the Edina arts program since second grade, when she enrolled in the Art Academy at the Edina Art Center. After taking Drawing and Painting I sophomore year, Jensen is now enrolled in Drawing and Painting II. She thanks Dalen Towne, who teaches both classes, for “inspiring me more to draw my own ideas and what I see in life.” As an artist, Jensen’s medium of choice is pencil because of the control it offers, but she also enjoys using water colors for the “pretty blending” it provides. Some of Jensen’s favorite things to draw include landscapes and animals, particularly horses. She remarked, “I like to draw horses and I do a lot of horseback riding. My parents are from South Dakota, so I do a lot of country landscapes.” Keep an eye out for this talented artist. When she’s not busy drawing or painting, Jensen enjoys “going horseback riding, practicing the violin, and doing ballet.” Clare Ling, in-depth editor photo courtesy of Claire Jensen
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Features
Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
Doppelgängers at EHS Do you ever see these students in the hallways and wonder if they’re the same person? Zephyrus found twelve pairs of doppelgängers that you might have noticed around EHS.
Senior Abby Ingalls Junior Emma Crosby
Senior Emily Cherkassky
Sophomore Taylor Halva
Sophomore Alexis Lance
Junior Jalen Giles
Vivi Engen and Jake Freeman, online sports editor and opinion editor photos by Jake Freeman and Talia Edelheit
Junior Armeen Shahriar
Junior Isaac Chestler
Sophomore Parker Mishmash
Senior Timmy Spicola
Senior Parker Reno
Roger Federer
Senior Effie Albitz
Junior Britta Lund
Junior Cristina Ballarini
Senior Natalie Nelson
Senior Jack Hartwig
Junior Jack Wahoff
Junior Lara Boman
Junior Joe Siddy
Senior JP Franze
Senior Kalley Norr
Sophomore Ellie Schlaefer
Sophomore Katie Satterthwaite
How to winterize and accessorize your car With winter fast approaching, our cars will have to undergo a plethora of maintenance in order to be prepared to withstand the abrasive cold and ice that can force them to shut down or send them spinning. During this time of change for the inside of our vehicles, the outside needs some loving, too. If we decorate our house for winter, why not our cars? For those who want to stun with a flashy exterior, there are a few options. First, invest in some window paint and decorate your windows to mimic a winter wonderland scene, complete with snowflakes and snowmen. If you really want to get creative, turn your car into Santa’s sleigh by drawing presents on the rear window, Santa holding the reins on both side windows in the backseat, and reindeer pulling the sleigh on the passenger’s and driver’s windows. However, if you’re too poor from buying gifts to treat yourself to window paint, just let your car sit outside overnight; it will be covered in a thick layer of frost and ice. If you don’t defrost the windows, you can slide around in an igloo on wheels! Visibility is overrated anyways. If window paint isn’t your thing, no fear! Adorn your grill with a wreath, or, for the really adventurous, simply leave your
Christmas tree strapped to the top of your car when you buy it. Why hide that beautiful pine in your house when you can showcase it on the roof of your car for the whole world to admire? Don’t forget to decorate! For the less flashy types, consider decorating your car’s interior. This can be as simple as tossing in a few blankets to keep you and your passengers warm, or as fancy as stringing up lights on the inside of your vehicle. Nowadays, many lights are battery powered, so you don’t have to worry about finding an adapter. Not only is it important for your car to be lookin’ fine, but smelling nice as well. For the holiday season, Glade sells six limited edition air freshener winter scents for your car, including Apple Cinnamon, Shimmering Spruce, Nutcracker Crunch, Frosted Cookies, Peppermint Mocha, and Sparkling Clementine. While you’re busy pumping up the air in your tires or replacing your windshield wipers, don’t forget to accessorize as well as winterize. Hayley Morrison, opinion editor art by Anika Smith-Oritz
Sports 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
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How to be a good fan H
photo by Ali Miller
ard work pays off. That is what Edina High School sport teams have been proving to the athletic community since the first football game of the season. The girls tennis team won their sixteenth consecutive state championship, the girls soccer team made it to the section finals and the varsity football team played in state, for the first time in over thirty years. Not only have the teams been exceptionally amazing this year, but their fans have been extremely supportive as well. Juniors Buzz Rehnberg and Joey Schwappach were two of the most enthusiastic football fans this season. Painting their bodies for nearly every game (starting with the Wayzata game), they supported the varsity football team whenever possible. “I feel that it is important to support EHS sports because the team can draw upon the cheering for motivation,” Rehnberg said. This proved to be true, as after every game, many of the football captains would comment on the Facebook events saying the fans pushed them through each of the games. The fans also realize that the victories of a sports team impacts not only the school, but the community as well. Schwappach stated, “Sports have a huge impact on the school and the surrounding community because it brings out sort of a nationalistic pride for your city. It brings people closer together.” The number of football fans grew larger after each victory, and by the time of the Eden Prairie game, there were
Brain ballin’ Mock Trial: “Mock trial has given me the ability to think on my feet and think critically,” said sophomore Leah Stewart, “I can speak with ease when suddenly approached.” Mock trial is an extracurricular activity where a group of students are given a court case and must analyze and argue it in an actual courtroom against another team. Each member must choose a role as an attorney, witness, timer, or bailiff and are then scored by an actual judge based on their performance. This year, mock trial’s competitive nature has become more intense; though Edina has five teams, only four will actually have the opportunity to compete. “We hope we’ll be able to make it past the invitationals and compete,” says Stewart. Mock trial provides a realistic courtroom experience for students interested in law, and is a great opportunity to exercise quick thinking for those looking to have fun. Math Team: Though Math Team may be one of Edina High School’s most overlooked groups, they perform at outstanding intellectual levels, even finishing second in state last year. Calculus AB teacher Alex Galt leads the team to victory by going over complex math problems and competition scenarios every Monday during practice. The team is composed of a wide variety of students with one thing in common—their love for math. “I love kids smarter than
I am finding each other at school. They push each other to solve complex math problems,” says coach Galt. The Minnesota Mathematics League strives to identify kids with uncanny mathematical abilities and provide recognition for their mental talents, thus giving these students the opportunity to study areas of math not included in Edina’s curriculum. Debate: Known for its brutal time commitment and quick speaking skills, debate is a fun, but high intensity sport. In debate, students develop an argument for a given topic and debate it against participants from other schools. Edina debate travels all around the United States to compete. Captain Madeleine art by Nick Crain Hage, who has been debating since sophomore year, has high expectorations for the team this year. “Edina is known throughout the country for having a strong debate program and that’s evident as we have had success at national level tournaments already this season. We expect to do well as the season continues,” says Hage. The team trains Mondays and Thursdays, perfecting their debating skills and studying this year’s policy debate topic: transportation infrastructure. “It takes a lot of dedication and sacrifice to be involved in debate,” says Hage, “but it’s rewarding in the end because of the people you meet and the experiences you have.” Christina Dovolis, culture editor
enough students present to storm the field. Since the football season is finished for the year, new winter and spring sports are looking for amazing fans to boost their spirits. “I will try to support all the sports I can this year, of course I’ll be at the hockey games and the basketball games this winter. But rumor has it the boys’ swim meets are the place to be on a Friday night,” Rehnberg stated. Schwappach is also looking forward to supporting lacrosse and Nordic ski in the upcoming sports seasons, bringing his enthusiasm to each game or race. Though you
photo by Mary Triggs
don’t need to paint your body to be an incredible sports fan, cheering positively for your peers, advertising your school spirit and simply showing up will prove to each team that you are there for them no matter the outcome. Talia Edelheit, news editor
Let’s get traditional Edina High School’s winter sports teams carry on many traditions passed down year to year in order to achieve success on a yearly basis. Each team has very different traditions, varying from handing out a special jacket, to dancing to the song “Cat Daddy.” Returning seniors from many different winter sports teams were asked the same question, “What are the traditions or superstitions your team carries on?” Boys Hockey: “We do a lot of weird stuff that probably shouldn’t be said in Zephyrus, but one thing I can think of is that after we win, Anthony Walsh always krumps to ‘Wild Boy’ and finishes it with a flip over a trash can,” said senior Matt Nelson. Teammate Bo Brauer also said, “After the game, if we win, our coach Dick Blooston gives out the retro Edina jacket to the player who had the best performance and deserved it the most.” Swimming and Diving: According to senior Sean Satterthwaite, before each meet the swim and dive team releases several snapping turtles into the pool. Then, for warm-up, they wrangle the turtles with their bare hands. The survivors build a fire in the locker-room using a pair of goggles, and they host a turtle BBQ, featuring arm-wrestling, beard-growing, and spear-fishing contests. Although these traditions sound a bit fishy, Satterthwaite added, “After the meet, we always provide cookies and brownies for the team to gorge on.” Comp Cheer: Senior Julia Bolter said, “We are all extremely superstitious when talking about possible outcomes of our competitions, especially Nationals in Orlando, Florida. We always feel the need to knock on wood three times after talking about them. We even decorate our own blocks of wood to bring to Florida in February. We carry our wood around in our bags at all times, it’s pretty ridiculous.” Girls Hockey: “Before every home game, we meet at the high school, grab our jerseys, and have a dance party in the parking lot. Typical songs we dance to are: ‘How Low Can You Go,’ ‘Girl on Fire,’ and ‘Cat Daddy.’ Also, before every period we have another dance party listening to ‘Jock Jams.’ When the YMCA part of the song comes on we all do the hand motions,” said senior Sarah Nielsen. Check out edinazephyrus.com to read about more Edina winter sports traditions including girls basketball, boys basketball, alpine ski, and dance team. Jack Hultstrand, sports editor
8 Opinion
www.edinazephyrus.com
Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
Rites of passage: are they worth the wait? Recently turning eighteen, I was excited to be able to do a gaggle of new things as a legal adult. But overall, my “big day” turned out to be quite a letdown. In my years of experience, I have found that rites of passage are not all they’re cracked up to be. Turning sixteen is a big step since you can get your license, it doesn’t prove to provide much other excitement. “It just seemed like a normal birthday that I spent with my family,” said licensed sophomore Andy Benjamin. While sophomore Logan Sweeney did not get her license, she said, “I feel like sixteen will be more exciting when I get my license.” This seems to be the attitude of all sophomores, but really, not much changes when you turn sixteen other than photo by Abby Gieseke avoiding the embarrassment of being picked up by a parent. You still have a curfew and your parents own the cars you drive; you don’t have all the freedom you think you have. Plus, with all this hype around getting your license, expectations often exceed the reality and you just end up disappointed on what’s supposed to be a life-changing day. Turning eighteen proves to be even more of a letdown. When you turn eighteen, you’re officially an adult and able to go out into the world on your own. You can get inked up, buy cigarettes, vote, and stay out as late as you want. Sounds great in theory, right? But in reality, the typical experience on your eighteenth birthday leaves you wondering what you were looking forward to in the first place. “I figure I still have a lot of my life to do all the crazy things” commented senior Kelly Fogelson on turning eighteen. With this kind of attitude, most people don’t feel a rush to get all this done on their eighteenth birthdays. More than anything, you think that your parents will magically lose their expectations for you. “As long as I still live in my parents’ house, I have to follow my parents’ rules” said senior Genevieve Kalland. “My parents are no different than they were when I was sevenphoto by Rayelle Washington teen,” said senior Anthony Walsh. Just because you turn sixteen or eighteen your world doesn’t magically change. You still live with your parents and you are still in high school. Maybe “sweet sixteen” isn’t so sweet after all. Hayley Morrison, opinion editor
Overexposed: breast cancer The month is October and the color pink is everywhere you look. NFL players sport pink uniforms, soda cans are decorated with the signature pink ribbon we all know so well, and even skyscrapers are lit up pink. The cause of this spectacle is the annual celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. What started as a month long event has become a money-making machine where profits don’t necessarily go towards finding a cure. Created in 1985, this month-long event is to raise awareness for breast cancer and educate women about getting mammograms. Susan G. Komen For The Cure has long been known as the flagship organization for breast cancer. They have their famous pink ribbon logo stamped on soda cans, credit cards, sports jerseys, billboards, and more. But is breast cancer overexposed? Over the years, the pink ribbon for breast cancer has changed into a brand, instead of an important symbol. For example, KFC has “Buckets for a Cure,” but since when is KFC a healthy restaurant that should be associated with a disease like breast cancer? We’re all aware that breast cancer exists, but what most may not know are the facts. We know the official color of breast cancer, but what about the way to get checked for breast cancer (mammogram), or that an estimated 39,000 women will die from it this year?
Zephyrus Staff
We also don’t know about other cancers, like what the color of colon cancer is (hint: it’s not brown). Another cause for concern is where the money actually goes from the Susan G. Komen foundation. During research, Zephyrus was unable to find specific grants in local communities. Their website vaguely said the money goes to “breast cancer research.” Nancy Brinkman, the former CEO of Susan G. Komen who stepped down earlier this year, had a salary of $417,171 in 2010, which is more than what the President makes. This year, Student Council started an initiative to raise money for Susan G. Komen. Did they make the right decision? Susan G. Komen’s credibility downgraded recently, with their fundraising costs taking twenty-five cents per dollar raised, higher than the seventeen cents before. That means that for every dollar donated, they keep twenty-five cents, compared to UNICEF which only takes six cents per dollar. If you’re serious about looking for a cure, then I recommend doing more than buying products that give some of the proceeds to charity, but go out and volunteer for a local organization or even start an initiative of your own. Raising money is one thing, but feeling good about a product with a pink ribbon isn’t. Drew Davis, staff writer
Picking Apple
Apple creates the best computers, tablets, and phones in the world (someone had to say it, Samsung stop living in denial), but do you really need the latest and greatest Apple product? I mean if you can afford it, which few of us can, why the heck not? You are enriching our struggling economy with a frivolous, but lets be honest, freakin’ awesome purchase. There are better things you could be doing with the money, sure, like putting it into your college fund or investing it into actual Apple stock. In all likelihood, you wouldn’t do that, and it would lie stagnant until you slowly spent it all on impulsive trips to Noodles. Realistically, buying a new Apple product is probably the most productive thing you would do with your money. Contrary to the hype, Apple products aren’t that different from the previous models. You really don’t get much more than a prettier wrapping and a minutely faster processing speed. However, we all subconsciously know that, and when you bought the device isn’t that exactly what you wanted? I don’t know one person that really cared when they bought their new computer what level of feline processor it had. Most people, with the exception of a few computer geeks, could care less if it had OS X Snow Leopard, OS X Mountain Lion, or OS X Aggressive House-Cat, they just wanted the aesthetics of the newest computer. By going out and buying the latest Apple product, are you shamelessly falling prey to consumerism? Absolutely. However, what you do with your money is your business and your choice. In all honesty, as long as you don’t start clamoring like a lunatic and muttering “my precious,” to yourself down the hallway, every time Apple drops a new product, I have no problem with you going out and getting the best technology has to offer. Matt Dulas, staff writer
photo by Talia Edelheit
editors in chief: Andrea Kimball, Ashley Smith copy editor: Rayelle Washington art editor: Sloane Nilsen managing editor: Anna Ellingboe advertising manager: Alex Van Gorp coordinating manager: Ellie Lagorio news editors: Micah Osler, Talia Edelheit, Alex Van Gorp features editors: Sarah Nealon, Hannah Sommerville, Ellie Lagorio sports editors: Jack Hultstrand, Vivi Engen in-depth editor: Clare Ling opinion editors: Jake Freeman, Hayley Morrison, Alex Van Gorp culture editors: Megan Couture, Christina Dovolis, Ellie Lagorio back page editor: Sloane Nilsen staff writers: Sarah Aydinalp, Perry Bruder, Drew Davis, Matt Dulas, Madison Hobbs, Jackson Van Dyke, Matt Woolsey, Anna Zhou head photographer: Jake Freeman photographers/artists: Julia Bolter, Nick Crain, Talia Edelheit, Tom Gaasedelen, Abby Gieseke, Cici Holmquist, Elizabeth Jarvey, Anna Pugh, Raquel Radenbaugh, Zai Rutter, Jessica Smith, Annika Smith-Ortiz graphic designer: Tom Gaasedelen advisor: Elizabeth Barniskis
Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.
Opinion 9 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
December 7, 2012
Volume 33 Issue 3
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Princess Leia: a new Disney princess?
U
pon hearing that Disney bought Lucasfilm and announced that they would be starting a new Star Wars trilogy, I was conflicted. On one hand, I absolutely adore the series and would love to see more. For the most part, however, I was incredibly disappointed. I fear that the new movies would turn into movies for five year olds, making the entire venture an embarrassment to “Star Wars.” I never actually watched the entire “Star Wars” series until about a year ago, but I soon became an avid fan. Most people know that there are six movies, really separated into two different trilogies. The first trilogy released in the 1970s contains the fourth, fifth, and sixth movies chronologically. Then three movies came out in the 1990s that took place before the first trilogy and told the backstory of some characters. It is generally agreed upon by Star Wars viewers that the first trilogy is much better than its later counterpart. There’s just something about the cheesy graphics and original actors that makes the movies released in the 70s so much better. There’s no way they could find anyone who could compete with the phenomenal acting of Harrison Ford or Carrie Fischer. Knowing Disney, they might just cast Justin Bieber or Zac Efron. Making another trilogy would be disastrous. Most fans would find the new trilogy to be worse than the second, and the integrity of Star Wars would be harmed. Last year, all six “Star Wars” movies were released on Blu-Ray. It was revealed that George Lucas had made some edits and upped the quality of the graphics. This outraged fans and many boycotted purchasing the movies. Producing another Star Wars trilogy, presumably with better graphics and different actors, would have a similar effect. While I am, and always will be, a devoted Star Wars fan, I would not support an additional trilogy because it would be impossible to recreate everything about the movies that originally made them hits. art by Hayley Morrison Sarah Nealon, features editor
art by Annika Smith-Oritz
Black Friday shopping Reality check: no one reads It’s 4 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving, and men, women, teenagers, even children-- their stomachs still full of turkey from the night before-- descend upon stores throughout the land in a fit of crazed consumerism, buying things they don’t particularly want or need with an almost religious fervor. It is this image that comes to mind when I think about Black Friday, that annual mass paean to capitalism that comes right after Thanksgiving. Where others might see an opportunity for cheap gifts, I see nothing but a sad reflection on our society. Black Friday, I’m certain, started as a logical extension of the Christmas season. Thanksgiving is, after all, the last major holiday before the holiday of holidays, and there had to be some limit to how far the shopping season could extend, so it would only make sense that the first big shopping day for Christmas would come then. This cold logic, though, is based on the assumption that holidays are nothing but an occasion for buying mass-produced committee creations for friends and loved ones – that they mean nothing. This is, sadly, a logic that works for most every holiday, from any religious tradition. Yet Thanksgiving has remained relatively pure. Lincoln made it a nationally observed day during the Civil War so that soldiers and civilians, stretched to their limits by the greatest conflict our nation has ever faced, could remember that some things in life were still to be cherished. It is an entirely secular day that conveys a universal message of gratefulness. These universalities have saved it from niche advertising and long-tail marketing. Thanksgiving is, for that reason, the most beautiful holiday of all to me. Its original message, perhaps not lived out by the Puritans that named it but beyond a doubt exemplified by the President that created it, is simple truth – we are blessed. There is no need for cheap commercial sentiments to amplify that message because it is so resoundingly true. Are we so forgetful, our attention spans that short, that we forget that message before the sun has risen? Do we lose our ability to appreciate life’s intangible gifts while we sleep? Or, maybe, is it that the world that we live in is so commercial, so corporate and profit-minded, that we never really heard the message in the first place? If we’re talking about the TV we’re going to rush out to buy at some ungodly hour at the Thanksgiving dinner table, were we ever really thankful for what we had in the first place? This year, Black Friday was noted for its relative orderliness, at least compared to previous years in which people were trampled to death by frenzied throngs rushing to get toasters and cell phones for 20% off the manufacturer’s recommended price. Yet two people were shot in Tennessee, and the drum beats on still – WalMart opened its doors at 8 p.m. on Thursday, during Thanksgiving dinner for many. I have no delusion of stopping the beat. I know that in 2013, Black Friday will come, most likely with horrific violence and depravity. I just hope that some day we can begin to push the thoughts of consumer culture out of our minds for one evening and once more take a few moments to ruminate on the simple elegance of thankfulness. Micah Osler, news editor
Kindle, Kindle 2, Kindle Fire, Nook, Pocketbook, Sony reader, E-Book. In an ever-evolving and technologically advanced world, an interested buyer has a plethora of options when it comes to selecting the right electronic reader, but reality check; nobody reads. Don’t waste your time. Since society has encouragingly embraced the latest social networks, gadgets, and apps, the amount of people who frequently read has deteriorated dramatically. And I think that we, as a whole, are bluntly aware of this. Yet in order to satisfy the guilt that some receive with not reading, they go buy an electronic reader. It is general intuition that a majority of the adults and kids that own an electronic reader spend a significant amount of their time with the reader’s other features. Apps win the war against the decision to read a book. It is another excuse to check Facebook and Twitter for the fourth time. Whether you actually read or not comes down to the fact that you would be reading more if you had less distractions on the gadget in front of you. The population that is pro E-Book argues that they are easily portable, light, interactive, and cheap. Yet why change when printed editions are also easily portable, light, interactive, and cheap? You argue that books can get really heavy? Let’s check what books you have read in the past year. Odds are that most of them were under four hundred pages and not the 1,440 page, hardcover, “War and Peace.” You argue that E-Books are more interac-
tive? Hmm. What are the significant differences from immersing yourself into the world of a physical copy compared to the same text offered on a screen? E-Books allow you to waste two hours with social networking and apps, when you most definitely could have been grasped in your latest paranormal romance. Yet you still argue that E-Books are more environmentally friendly. Let’s talk about the environment after you start recycling and composting every day, don’t use hairspray, put “Go Green!” bumper stickers on your car, and bike to school in the fall and spring. But most importantly, why lose the feeling of knowing that the physical copy is yours, and yours alone? That you will have it forever. One malfunction on your tablet and your favorite spy thriller is gone. Why lose the smell of the musty paper? It is so satisfying finishing a hardcover or paperback book, and placing it on the shelf along with the rest of your collection. Electronic readers are a waste of your time. Instead, buy an iPad or an iPod touch. Or some other tablet. Don’t use it as your excuse to show that you “still read.” You most likely don’t. If you are keen on supporting bookstores, authors, and the energizing experience of gazing at your collection, then think twice. Despite your best intentions, electronic readers downgrade your attempts at creating a literary image. Sloane Nilsen, art editor
SPANISH IMMERSION FOR EDINA HSS & TEACHERS in GUATEMALA
Expose yourself to authentic language and cultural experience next summer in Quetzaltenango. 75 hours of Spanish instruction, 3 students per teacher format,
homestay with a local family, daily social and cultural activities including field trips during the weekends. Learn in 3 weeks what you learn in your school in one year. For dates, visit:
casaxelaju.com, facebook.com/casaxelaju
We also offer Spanish tutoring online through Skype
10 Culture www.edinazephyrus.com
Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
Bond. James Bond.
Shaken, Not Stirred H��id�� co���e� e�i�i�� With the holidays here, festive treats are in season! Bakeries around Edina are cooking up a storm and producing mass amounts of classic holiday cookies for hungry customers. Patisserie Margo and Wuollet are famous for their cookie selection and thrive during the winter months, feeding a delicious selection of baked goods to all Edina citizens. Even if selfie by Christina Dovolis you’re the bake-it-yourself kind of person, the holidays Christina Dovolis taste-tests her are full of yummy recipes to delicious cookie from Wuollets Bakery purchase. With over sixty-five years of experience, Wuollets Bakery has experienced its fair share of Christmases. The bakery, located on West 50th Street, began in 1944 when Reino Wuollet opened the family business. The shop has been infamously cooking ever since. One of the company’s main attractions during the holidays is its gingerbread cookie. Meticulously decorated, each gingerbread man seems to come straight out of the famous fairytale, making them popular among kids. Yet, the colorful frosting and cute body decorations are only half the reason why these iconic cookies are top-sellers-- they taste absolutely scrumptious as well. Infused with the perfect amounts of ginger and cinnamon, these cookies will surely satisfy your sweet tooth. The cookie’s crunch holds a lot of substance too, filling you up with holiday glee. Patisserie Margo is Edina’s secret baking gem. Though small and not so widely known, Patisserie Margo is a French bakery with lots of charm and deliciously festive snacks. Appealing to all cultures, Patisserie Margo is famous for their rugelach cookies during the wintertime. Rugelach is Jewish pastry made by rolling a triangle of cream-cheese dough around a nut, chocolate, or jam filling. These bite size cookies are typically gobbled down during Hanukkah as a light dessert. With filling seeping out the sides of the croissant, these seasonal cookies look incredibly appetizing. Luckily, they taste even better. The buttery, flaky bread paired with the sweet filling creates an incredible sensation of taste and textures, which will keep you constantly stuffing your mouth with this cookie. The holidays are a great time for sweet treats, so check out your local bakeries and eat up! Christina Dovolis, culture editor
art by Sloane Nilsen
The November 9th release of Skyfall marked the fiftieth year anniversary of the release of “Doctor No,” the original James Bond movie starring Sir Sean Connery. Five actors and twenty-two movies later, we have “Skyfall,” possibly the best Bond film to date. The emotionally stunning plot, that senior Nick Crain describes as “James Bond coming back and being so old, but still being able to kick a ton of butt,” is enough to bring anyone to fandom. The film started out with a chase scene that was on a level of its own. An unexpected turn of events took place when 007’s partner tried to intervene in a seemingly deadeven brawl and accidently shot Bond into a watery grave. With Bond gone and the villain escaped, M16 went into complete chaos after the names of all of its secret operatives were leaked on the internet, which lead to many of their deaths. Fortunately for M (the head of M16), the leading villain played by Javier Bardem (Academy Award Winner from “No Country for Old Men”) blew up the M16 headquarters, which caught the attention of James Bond who after “being dead” for a while realized he was needed back in England. After his “resurrection”, Bond
found and captured Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem) an ex-agent hell-bent on killing M for what she did to him. Then in a “Dark Knight” style plot line, we learned that Silva wanted to be captured all along, and Bond had to make a run for the countryside with M to make a heroic final stand. The final stages of the movie, with Bond returning to Skyfall with M, showed a side of Bond we have never seen throughout fifty years of Bond movies. We finally saw into James Bond’s past and upbringing, in the form of Skyfall, the ancient Scottish estate he was raised in. The scenes filmed on the Scottish countryside show us a Bond who is willing to risk everything including his childhood (in the form of the house) to protect M. All the emotion, drama, and awesome “MacGyver – esque” defense tactics shown at Skyfall make it a defining movie for any and all Bond films to come. Recent Bond movies starring Daniel Craig have been devoid of many 007 staples, some of which the series could do without (such as the untimely puns uttered by Mr. Bond after killing someone off), but other Bond trademarks made a welcome return. Every James Bond movie leading up to Daniel Craig (with the exception of “Live and Let Die”) featured Q, a quirky old gadget specialist who would make his appearance after M had finished giving Bond his newest assignment. Most Q appearances would consist of him giving 007 a set of gadgets that would always come back to save Bond’s life later in the film, possibly a souped-up Bentley or Aston Martin and a heavy dose of dry British humor. “Skyfall” marks Q’s first appearance with Daniel Craig as James Bond, and although Q (Ben Whishaw) is much younger than the traditional Q, he easily covers all of his typical bases, with an added set of computer hacking skills. But what got the sold out crowd more riled up than anything else? The car. Right before the release of past Bond films, a brand new BMW or other European luxury car would be released to be used in the movie. Not so with “Skyfall” as the return of the 1964 Aston Martin DB5, complete with the original weapons system and ejector seat from Gold Finger (all thanks to Q) was the car that filled everyone in the theater with all sorts of emotions, including 007 himself. On top of the nostalgic appearances of Q and the Aston Martin, the movie is also riddled with allusions to past movies, including Golden Eye’s exploding pen as well as the classiest drink of all time, a martini “Shaken, not stirred.” Whether you are an Adele fan who fell in love with the theme song, or someone who has seen every movie and read every book, “Skyfall” will not disappoint. Matt Woolsey, staff writer
Holidazzle:
the Minnesota tradition
art by Megan Couture
“A lot of people come and get together at the Holidazzle. It’s a great place to hang out in the winter,” said junior Maren Kizershot. That’s right, the Holidazzle parade is in full swing. Every Thursday through Sunday night at 6:30 p.m. on Nicollet Mall, lighted floats and people parade down the street, spreading holiday joy and cheer. The Holidazzle has been around since 1992 and continues to unite around a thousand people annually in the bitter Minnesota winter. The Holidazzle is no ordinary parade, it’s unique. There are not just firefighters handing out Tootsie Rolls to little kids. Every single float is covered in lights to brighten the city streets. According to Danielle Pierce, the Holidazzle Public Relations representative, there are two new floats this year: the Grand Marshall float and the Choir float. Every night a new choir is volunteering to sing. The parade ends, of course, with Santa Claus on his illuminated sleigh tugged by reindeer.
photo by Megan Couture
“The best part of winter is bundling up by the fire,” said junior Sam Keller. The Holidazzle crew is certainly thinking like Keller. There is an option available to watch the Holidazzle from the comfort of a warm tent with hot cocoa and cider for only nine dollars. “I like the spirit of [Holidazzle] and how it brings everyone together even though we’re all strangers,” said senior Mikaela Jaeckels. Don’t miss out on the friendly fun! Megan Couture, culture editor
Culture
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December 7, 2012
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Great Expectations for “Les Mis”
“I’m really excited for the Les Mis movie because it’s never been done and it’s going to be beautiful,” said junior Bridget Jensen. Junior Elizabeth LaLuzerne added that “It has a really great story and the music is so good!” On Christmas day, many fans of “Les Miserables” will be heading to movie theaters around America to see if the beloved musical has made a successful transfer to the silver screen. “Les Mis” centers around the life of reformed French criminal Jean Valjean and his attempts to avoid a police officer named Javert. The musical is filled with love stories, violence, redemption, and heartbreak. Because of this, “Les Mis” should be a great film for everyone to see. So why do EHS students like “Les Mis” so much? Jensen said that “I think that when you get down to it, it’s a really inspirational and emotional story that will always be relevant to modern times.” LaLuzerne said that she thinks that “It tells an incredible story.” Both LaLuzerne and Jensen plan on seeing the movie multiple times over break. LaLuzerne is
excited to see it, but also added that “Hopefully I won’t sob uncontrollably in front of my friends.” Hugh Jackman is Jean Valjean, Anne Hathaway is Fantine, Russell Crowe is playing Javert, Amanda Seyfried is Cosette, Samantha Banks is Eponine, and Eddie Redmayne is Marius. LaLuzerne said “I’m really excited to see [Anne Hathaway], I had no idea she could sing!” Jensen added that “I cannot wait to see Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen as Mr. and Mrs. Thenardier because I think those are roles that the two of them were born to play.” “The first time I saw Les Mis, I thought it was all in French because I couldn’t understand them. But after I realized they were speaking English, I discovered what a phenomenal musical it is, and now it’s my favorite show!” LaLuzerne said. There you have it, LaLuzerne and Jensen both agree that everyone should go see Les Miserables over winter break. Hannah Sommerville, features editor
Minneapolis concert venues Minneapolis is one of America’s biggest cities for music. With tons of different concert venues to choose from, it is easy for artists to come into the city and have a sold out show. For Edina High School students, the Minneapolis Target Center, First Avenue, and St. Paul’s Xcel Energy Center were the three most popular concert venues. Target Center, located in the heart of downtown, has hosted some of the biggest music acts in the country. One of the concerts that took place in June of 2011 was the GLEE LIVE! Concert, which brought the entire Glee cast to Minneapolis to perform for hundreds of screaming fans. Senior Brittany Simonson said, “The Target Center was perfect for Glee! It was nice and open, and from where I was sitting, we had a really good view.” With this kind of hype coming from both the show and the cast members, the Target Center was the perfect, large arena that allowed the performers to move around freely. Senior Danielle Haidet thinks differently. Attending the Passion Pit concert at First Ave, Haidet recalls the concert
being “magical.” The standing room venue has been one of the most popular concert sites for over twenty years, and continues to bring in sold-out crowds. “The venue allows fans to get close to the artist. Because there was a smaller amount of people there than at Target Center type venue, it felt like a private show,” Haidet stated. Being able to stand a few feet away from your favorite artist allows the atmosphere to become much more intimate. First Avenue is also known for having more “indie” artist shows, which has in the past, set artists up for huge careers. The Xcel Energy Center, located in downtown St. Paul, is another large event venue. Hockey games and artists like Coldplay, Taylor Swift, and the annual KDWB Jingle Ball have taken place in this venue, and have proved to bring in sold out shows consistently. Junior Sydney Paugh, who attended Coldplay’s Mylo Xyloto concert, recalls that, “The grandeur of the Xcel really impacted Coldplay’s performance. They used these light up wristbands that they gave out to everyone upon entering and they all lit up and flashed during
the concert and I don’t think the effect would have been as amazing as it was, had the concert been held anywhere else.” With two sold out shows, the Xcel also allowed more people to witness this incredible concert, which EHS students still talk about today. Being such a popular band, Coldplay’s concert could not have taken place anywhere but the Xcel, without losing the “pandemonium” of the event. So EHS, you now have your options. First Ave, for an intimate, inexpensive, and inspiring performance from your favorite up and coming artists. Or, head over to Target Center or the Xcel Energy Center for a more expensive concert, with thousands of screaming fans, in a larger arena, watching a more popular band performance. Coming next year to the Xcel Energy Center is Taylor Swift’s concert tour, while Mackelmore just passed through Minneapolis and performed at First Ave last week. Choose wisely EHS! Your favorite artist may be coming to perform sooner than you think. Talia Edelheit, news editor
A stereotypical top 10 winter article Few dare to venture outside in the frigid winter weather, which seriously limits opportunities for fun. However, the possibility of snow offers many ways to stay entertained in Minnesota’s infamous winters. 1. Go to the Holidazzle parade. Check out Megan Couture’s article on Culture 10 for more details, but this is great to attend with a large group of friends. 2. Check out seasonal food at various places. Sweet Retreat, a favorite cupcake bakery for Edina students, boasts many cupcakes with flavors only available for a few months. ‘Tis the season for eggnog cupcakes. 3. Spandex season. Many sports, including Alpine and Nordic, race in tight, spandex suits. Go cheer them on--don’t miss out on this great opportunity to see more of your peers than you ever wanted to. Just don’t try wearing them at Minnetonka High School (See Talia Edelheit’s response online at edinazephyrus.com.) 4. Ice cream time. While winter doesn’t exactly make you crave cold treats, Sebastian Joe’s offers discounts the colder the weather is. 5. Make a gingerbread house. This old-school activity is a classic for a reason. Get a small group of friends and decorate your edible mansion with candy galore. Be careful not to eat it all before you finish. 6. Have a snowball fight. Add in snow forts and this is bound to be a fun-filled day for
you and a bunch of your friends. 7. Go to Winter Carnival. This little-known festival hosts multiple events in St. Paul for one weekend in January. Artists from around the world make ice sculptures; there are even a few ice palaces. Red Bull also sponsors an ice course (like a dirt bike course) on which athletes skate. 8. Hit the ice. Yes, this is really cliché for Minnesotans, but there are dozens of rinks in Edina alone. All you need are skates and a few pucks and you’re ready to go. If hockey isn’t your thing, you can also play crack the whip and watch your friends fly across the ice. 9. Cozy up with a book in front of a fireplace. If you ever feel like you just want some alone time, grab a John Green book (Zephyrus recommends “The Fault in Our Starts”), some hot cocoa, and a blanket. 10. Have a hot chocolate party. This might sound lame, but have a few friends over, purchase every kind of topping you can imagine, and create new flavors. It’s a great way to relax with your friends and stay warm during the cold days. Burst the bubble and try a few new things this winter. You might surprise yourself by how much fun you have. Sarah Nealon, features edtior
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Volume 33 Issue 3
December 7, 2012
6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439
NEW YEAR’S HOROSCOPES WHAT LIES IN ��UR FUTURE? art courtesy of creative commons
ARE YOU IN THE BEYOND? OMG, I THINK YOU ARE! Aries (March 21-April 19)
Reaching the end of something is never a fun event. Especially if it’s an ice cream bucket. But don’t worry. After your goldfish dies, your diet will consist of a bucket each day. It’s not all bad bad bad, though. You will be receiving an important phone call soon. But you will miss it after you fall down the stairs. They will not leave a call back number.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by an exchange student from Africa (like in “Mean Girls”). Well, 2013 will be your time. By the end of your long journey, you will bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and wish we’d all eat it and be happy. Get in loser. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Several important packages will arrive for you in 2013. Sadly, one of them will be ticking and covered in a mysterious powder. An old woman nearby will save your life. You will be forever in her debt. This means tuna-beet casserole, recreational pool aerobics, and your entry to knitting club and the senior bowling league.
Scorpio (October
24-November 21) When analyzing
the features of the stars in the night sky, one of the most recognizable constellations is that of Orion, who has a sword hanging from his belt. This sword consists of three main “stars,” however, the second star isn’t really a star at all. It’s a nebula. It is an area of dust and gas, which gives birth to new stars. What does this all mean? It means that you thought it was a star, but it wasn’t. This means that you aren’t as smart as you thought you were. What else could you be wrong about…? Probably everything.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
2013 will be the decade of love. But not for you, I’m talking globally. Anyways, you’ll be sparky and happy this year. People will wonder: why so positive? Is it a new haircut? Facelift? It’s actually because you’ll be getting new pets this year. After all of your other ones die.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
After eating a delicious dinner at Chipotle, you will receive your first kiss. Because none of the others have been real. You have imagined all of them. On a positive note, you will get to enjoy the taste of sour cream and burrito a little longer.
Okay so when you were eleven you looked in your mailbox and were all like “Did I get accepted to Hogwarts?” Well good news for you in 2013! Your sevenyear-delayed Hogwarts acceptance letter will come in the mail. Fortunately, McGonagall allows you use a time-turner to experience Hogwarts when Harry did. Not only are you sorted into Hufflepuff, you discover you are a squib.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Aquarius (January
Your blossoming relationship will only blossom further. It is now similar to a nice, red rose. By the end of 2013, it will be like a 360 feet high redwood tree! That doesn’t mean you’re moving to California. You are staying in Minnesota for the rest of your life. On a positive note, Minnesota has the second highest life expectancy rate in the United States. It ranks 31st in adult obesity.
Your audition to be Ke$ha’s back-up dancer goes through, and you are admitted to her team. This means weight loss, my friend. Your flabs will become abs. This also means constant partying, Ke$ha-style. It’ll be ironic though, when you get trampled at a club in NYC. Die young, right?
Virgo (August 23-September
Pisces (February 19-March
22) Congratulations for the Virgo’s who can touch their tongue to their elbow and put their first in their mouths! A potential love interest will contact you in the next month.
Libra (September 23-October 23) 781-452-4077
20-February 18)
20)
If you are a girl, you will become pregnant this year. With quadruplets. If you are a boy, you will not become pregnant this year. But you will be their father. Your garden will also do poorly this year. Your squash will be eaten by slugs. Your carrots will be eaten by the deer.
Sloane Nilsen, art and back page editor