Walking Through The Valley: Pancreatic Cancer Journey copy

Don Butterworth

Walking !rough !e Valley of !e Shadow : A Pancreatic Cancer Journey

Don Butterworth Foreword by Joseph R. Dongell

First Fruits Press Wilmore, KY c2025

ISBN: 9781648173752

Walking through the valley of the shadow: a pancreatic cancer journey Don Butterworth; foreword by Joseph R. Dongell First Fruits Press, ©2025

Digital version at http://place.asburyseminary.edu/firstfruitsheritagematerial/5/ First Fruits Press is a digital imprint of the Asbury Theological Seminary, B.L. Fisher Library. Asbury Theological Seminary is the legal owner of the material previously published by the Pentecostal Publishing Co. and reserves the right to release new editions of this material as well as new material produced by Asbury Theological Seminary. Its publications are available for noncommercial and educational uses, such as research, teaching and private study. First Fruits Press has licensed the digital version of this work under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/us/.

For all other uses, contact: First Fruits Press B.L. Fisher Library Asbury Theological Seminary 204 N. Lexington Ave. Wilmore, KY 40390 http://place.asburyseminary.edu/firstfruits

Butterworth, Donald Quinn, 1953Walking through the valley of the shadow: a pancreatic cancer journey [electronic resource]/ / Don Butterworth; foreword by Joseph R. Dongell. – Wilmore, Kentucky: First Fruits Press, ©2025.

124 pages; cm: digital ISBN: 9781648173745 (paperback) ISBN: 9781648173752 (uPDF) ISBN: 9781648173769 (Mobi) OCLC: 1564433640 1. Butterworth, Patricia Louise, 1948-2024--Health.

2. Butterworth, Donald Quinn, 1953- --Correspondence.

3. Cancer--Patients--Biography. 4. Caregivers--Diaries.

5. Pancreas--Cancer--Popular works. .I. Title. II. Dongell, Joseph.

BV4910.33. B87 2025eb Cover design by Amanda Kessinger

248.8

First Fruits Press The Academic Open Press of Asbury Theological Seminary 204 N. Lexington Ave., Wilmore, KY 40390 859-858-2236 first.fruits@asburyseminary.edu asbury.to/firstfruits

On January 16th, 2023, the grim faced emergency physician entered the room, and our world turned upside down. “Mrs. Butterworth, !e CT scan shows a 3 centimeter mass on your pancreas.”

Table of Contents 11/14/2022-1/29/2023 Prologue 2/9/2023

Beginnings ----------------------------15–16

2/10/2023

Chemo -------------------------------- 17–18

2/18/2023

1st “Chemo Week” ------------------- 19

2/26/2023

Ordinary Days ------------------------- 20–21

3/5/2023

More like Lent ------------------------- 22–23

3/6/2023

Bread ----------------------------------- 24

3/11/2023

Bitter ----------------------------------- 25

3/19/2023

Charoset-------------------------------- 26

3/26/2023

Rest------------------------------------- 27–28

4/2/2023

Holy Week Eve ------------------------ 29

4/2/2023

Daily Bread ---------------------------- 30

4/16/2023

A!er Easter ---------------------------- 31

4/23/2023

Green Time ---------------------------- 32

4/30/2023

Movement is Medicine ---------------- 33

5/8/2023

3 or 4?! --------------------------------- 34–35

5/14/2023

Weak Week ---------------------------- 36

5/21/2023

Weak Week Again--------------------- 37

5/28/2023

Up & Down --------------------------- 38

6/4/2023

Plus 4 ---------------------------------- 39

6/11/2023

Endings and Beginnings ------------- 40

6/18/2023

46 -------------------------------------- 41

6/25/2023

Lookin good -------------------------- 42

7/2/2023

43 -------------------------------------- 43

7/9/2023

Almost Norman? --------------------- 44

7/14/2023

Pilgrimage-------------------------------- 45

7/30/2023

Echoes ----------------------------------- 46

8/6/2023

Hard week-------------------------------- 47

8/13/2023

Overflowing ----------------------------- 48–49

8/20/2023

Sold -------------------------------------- 50

9/3/2023

Moved ----------------------------------- 51–52

9/10/2023

Settling----------------------------------- 53

9/17/2023

2/3 settled? ------------------------------ 54

9/24/2023

Slow Progress---------------------------- 55

10/1/2023

Almost ----------------------------------- 56

10/8/2023

Nearly normal -------------------------- 57–58

10/15/2023

Inside ------------------------------------ 59

10/22/2023

Organized ------------------------------- 61–62

10/29/2023

Planting/Harvesting -------------------- 63– 64

11/5/2023

zzzzz-------------------------------------- 65

11/12/2023

Liver spot -------------------------------- 66–67

11/13/2023

Liver “cyst” -------------------------------68

11/21/2023

#ankful --------------------------------- 69

11/26/2023

Whiplash ---------------------------------70

12/3/2023

Advent ----------------------------------- 71

12/10/2023

Birthday Week ---------------------------72–73

12/17/2023

2 Fi!hs ----------------------------------- 74–75

12/24/2023

Christmas Eve--------------------------- 76–77

12/31/2023

Between---------------------------------- 78

1/7/2024

Epiphany -------------------------------- 79–80

1/14/2024

A!er Christmas ------------------------- 81

1/21/2024

Watching. Waiting----------------------- 82–83

1/28/2024

Grey Days ------------------------------- 84

2/4/2024

Oot and Aboot ------------------------- 85

2/11/2024

Nashville -------------------------------- 86–87

2/18/2024

Savor ------------------------------------ 88

2/25/2024

Renewal--------------------------------- 89

3/3/2024

Full -------------------------------------- 90

3/10/2024

Dark, Stormy---------------------------- 91

3/17/2024

Quiet ------------------------------------ 92

3/24/2024

Palm Day-------------------------------- 94

4/7/2024

Trials ------------------------------------ 95

3/31/2024

Forgiving/Forgive----------------------- 96–97

4/14/2024

Soggy, weary, waiting------------------- 98

4/21/2024

Struggling-------------------------------- 99

5/3/2024

Unquali$ed------------------------------100

5/12/2024

Hospice---------------------------------- 101–102

5/14/2024

Go Down Death-------------------------103–106

5/16/2024

Services and Obituary-------------------107–109

5/19/2024

Last Hours and Funeral Plans---------- 110–111

5/26/2024

All #ings New-------------------------- 112–113

1/14/2025

Epilogue---------------------------------- 114–115

Dedication #is books is dedicated to the hundreds of friends and family members that walked with us, loved us, and prayed for us on our journey through the valley.

Foreword

By Joseph R. Dongell What an honor to write a Foreword for Don’s reflections on his griefjourney! Yes, Don and I have been employed at Asbury #eological for better parts of four decades and have therefore shared many professional experiences. But more importantly, Don and Patti were dear friends with Regina (my late wife) and me over that span. We worshiped in the same congregation, attended the same small-town celebrations, and did our best to break out of our highly regimented lives to “do something fun and spontaneous.” Whether venturing out for ice cream, or to a restaurant, or for Sunday Dinner with other friends, the four of us (Don usually driving) felt a warm and mutual kinship that still blesses my memory.

But Don and I, through the strange providence of God, now $nd ourselves “belonging to the club that nobody wants to join...” that of being widowers. My wife Regina battled for 20 years with a rare heart disorder that eventually demanded a heart transplant...which failed a!er a 94-day stay in the ICU. Always the forward thinker, Regina insisted on “praying for the best, while planning for the worst.” As we awaited a donor heart, we checked o% a long series of items needing our attention, including the purchasing of a burial plot and the choosing of a headstone. Just a few days a!er her death (June 22, 2022), Regina was laid to rest in the Wilmore Cemetery, and the monument we had together designed was set in place a few months later. #e news of Patti’s diagnosis with pancreatic cancer was, of course, a devastating blow to all her family and friends. While we all share a robust faith in the God who heals, we were also aware of the sobering mortality rates associated with this disease. As we all know, Don and Patti fought valiantly and gracefully before she $nally succumbed to death’s temporary claim over her body. #roughout the ordeal, we all read with prayerful hope the many updates that Don faithfully wrote to the larger community. #ough it was not his primary purpose, Don’s magni$cent love for Patti always shone through, as the looming threat of death drew them even closer together. (Yes, that’s the way it works!)

7

8

Don Butterworth

Somewhere during this timeframe, I was cheered by learning of a wonderful “serendipity:” Don and Patti’s burial plot lies directly beside ours! In the years ahead, the Dongells and the Butterworths will be lying in repose, side-by-side! And not only are our headstones near each other, but they share a similar design. Apparently, these minds of ours think alike! Whenever I pass by, I smile at how unlikely this arrangement is, and yet how $tting! #ough our spirits will be with Jesus, an earthly symbol of our friendship will remain visible for some time to come!

But as important as memorial stones are for marking passages and for sending brief, permanently etched messages to viewers, weightier still are the fuller records of our thoughts, reflections, and musings surrounding our encounters with death and loss. On this score, Don has done us all a generous service by setting before us in beautifully cra!ed words the various pathways his heart and mind have traveled over these many months.

When I lost Regina, I was told by many wise friends that “everybody grieves di%erently.” True indeed! I was explicitly given permission to sorrow however I needed, without constantly fretting about where I should be in my journey, or what sorts of feelings and thoughts I should be experiencing along the way. If each of us is as unique as our $ngerprint, then surely our ways of grieving will manifest that same diversity.

And yet there is a paradoxical balance to this diversity. We all share a common humanity, a common sense of love, a common pain in the loss of a loved one, and common motions in our brains and bodies that arise from the similar dynamics of (say) our chemistry and hormones.

For all our di%erences in grieving, most of us will notice countless points of recognition when we hear other accounts of grief. “Aha! Yes. I know exactly what you are saying!”

As I’ve read through Don’s insightful and self-revealing diary, I’ve repeatedly uttered those very words of shared experience. “Yes, I know.”

I have found these commonalities profoundly encouraging, as they have a way of binding us all together in the midst of gut-wrenching challenges: to feel alone in the midst of a crowd... to feel sad in the middle of laughter and celebration... to feel the pain of being without a partner among other couples... to feel as if she died just yesterday, but also a decade ago.... to feel like not even getting out of bed in the morning... to sharply miss her

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

9

simple touch (or hug or kiss) that will never again be felt in this lifetime...

“Yes, yes, yes, yes. I know.”

But I’d like to balance those negative “yesses” with positive yesses that have characterized Don’s outlook throughout his reflections, yesses that point to the process of moving from attempting to “just survive” to even contemplating the possibility of thriving again. Above all I notice the theme of a deep and abiding faith in God as the Lord of life, as the one who promises the complete conquest of death and the reunion of the faithful in God’s glorious future. #e public reading of Scripture and the singing of truth-rich hymns can $ll our sails with this joyful assurance, even as we weep at the poignancy of their words.

I note also the theme of the importance of the believing community, of the church, of the body of Christ... folks who are prayerfully traveling this same pathway with the same hope and assurance of God’s full redemption.

Close by in importance is the theme of family, of how vital our children (and grandchildren, etc.) are as we try to piece together a new life without the presence of our beloved. Don makes it clear that grief must never be “done alone.” #ere is great encouragement to be found in the company of those who have su%ered unspeakable losses and are willing to expose their wounds to public view.

I note also the theme of marking time... of marking each holiday, each anniversary, each birthday, each month’s passing towards the conclusion of “the $rst year.” #is deliberate calendar-watching points to the underlying determination to “hide from nothing,” but to face one’s loss head on... allowing the weightiness of each special day to rest on our already-weary shoulders... without turning away. #is is not a wallowing in a shallow self-pity (though at times we may be tempted to move in that direction), but the pointing to the wound itself and (implicitly) praying for its healing. In the very act of writing, Don is deliberately setting before his own eyes the agonizing realities he had hoped, with all his heart, to avoid. But reality must be faced. #is is the counsel of godly wisdom.

Another theme is both the “yes” and the “no” to healing. I recently examined my abdomen in the mirror and concluded that I could no longer see any trance of my laparoscopic surgery. I was not even con$dent about which side my surgeons had penetrated. I had been “healed.” But the mourners I know (Don included) do not pray for (or expect) the complete erasing of pain and loss. As has o!en been suggested, we’re more like

10

Don Butterworth

amputees who may no longer be writhing in pain or bleeding profusely from the point of severance, but we’ll forever walk with a limp and o!en sense the shadow pain of a limb no longer present. You will $nd in Don’s writings this paradox of “being healed, but never completely healed.”

Perhaps this mirrors the heavenly experience of our risen Lord who retained the wounds he had received on the cross, even displaying them to his stunned disciples. Wounds, transformed into marks of glory, will remain as permanent records of God’s magni$cent deliverances.

I’ll mention a $nal theme that struck me as familiar: the instinct to review the whole story of “how we met,” and to marvel at how the gracious providence of God brought a somewhat unlikely couple into the state of matrimony. #e death of a spouse ends our earthly story and naturally urges us to view our shared adventures now as a $nished whole, as if it were a work of art to be pondered comprehensively and enjoyed for all its traces of beauty. It’s been delightful to hear Don retell the circumstances that began as simple acquaintance with Patti, then moved into a trusted friendship, and $nally burst into a full-fledged romance. #e story includes other actors, certain challengers, a few hitches of uncertainty, a dash of humor, and even some seashells that have been buried beside her headstone. #is retrospective overview is one of the “pleasures” of the grief journey that Don embraces and shares with us. Sorrow and celebration can flow together in the same channel.

I remember long ago the tragic death of a young mother who was a member of my home church. As the shocking news of the accident began to settle in, and as the pastor invited the whole congregation to the altar for prayer on that Sunday morning, someone rose to share a passage of Scripture that le! a deep impression on me. #e Apostle Paul (in I #ess.

4:13) asserted that we do grieve for those who have “fallen asleep,” but not in the way that others grieve who have no hope. Don has shown us not only that it is right to grieve (and even “hard”) at the death of a cherished one, but he has shown us how to grieve in holy and healthy ways. Even under the weight of numbing sorrow, we, like Don, may cultivate thankful heart towards our loving Heavenly Father whose unsearchable wisdom has called our dearest ones to Himself.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

11

Preface It was a near perfect Autumn Day in 2021 when I drove over to see my friend Joe. #e sky was a deep clear blue. #e temperature was perfect, chilly in the shade but warm in the sun. I found Joe enjoying a quiet moment in his workshop, with the neighbor’s cat for company. He and his dear wife Regina were in the midst of making important decisions about the next steps to take regarding Regina’s life threatening heart condition, and I just wanted to see how he was doing.

As we sat together in the sunshine, we pondered what the future would hold. I remember commenting that if anything ever happened to Patti that was life threatening, I wanted to have the ability to support her every step of the journey, in just the same way Joe was supporting Regina. At that moment, little did we know that in only a short while, Regina’s heart transplant would prove unsuccessful, and that Patti would be diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer.

Regina was a much loved individual in our church and many, many people were praying for her. In order to help us know how to pray speci$cally, Joe assigned his son Jordan the task of sending regular email updates on her condition. We really appreciated these updates, so it was natural for me to follow his example. #is volume is a simple compilation of my weekly email correspondence with friends and family. It paints a picture of our day to day experiences following Patti’s diagnosis, so that they would know how to pray for us. Positive stories, events, scriptures and songs were intentionally included, because no matter how dark and di&cult the journey we must face, there is hope and light if we will open our eyes to it.

12

Don Butterworth

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

13

Patti’s and Don’s Journey 11/14/2022-1/29/2023 - Prologue It was shortly before #anksgiving that Patti started to experience back pain. It didn’t present itself during the day, but at night it bothered her to the point where she wasn’t sleeping very well. We would have had it checked out right away, but because we were in the process of changing primary care physicians, we waited until the scheduled $rst visit on her 74th birthday, December 5.

A!er describing the symptoms to her new PCP, the initial thought was that it was a gallbladder issue. An ultrasound was performed on December 15, but the results did not indicate any problem with the gallbladder, and that speci$c test did not include a view of the pancreas. On the advice of our colorectal surgeon, who is also a family friend, an appointment was made to see a gastrointestinal specialist on January 18, his earliest opening.

At this point, the Christmas holiday gatherings were upon us, and our focus shi!ed to family, friends and Advent. It truly was one of the most blessed Christmases we had ever had. Our home in the Kentucky bluegrass region was jampacked with loved ones. Everyone had a wonderful time, and everyone was healthy… or so we thought.

On Monday, January 16th, 2023, the pain in Patti’s back became so intense that she reluctantly agreed to go to the emergency room. A CT scan was performed, and the results revealed a 3 centimeter mass on her pancreas. #e emergency physician strongly advised us to keep our appointment with the GI doctor on the 18th and schedule a biopsy as soon as possible.

At that appointment, a!er reviewing the results of the CT scan, it was con$rmed that it was very likely Patti had pancreatic cancer, and that because it encapsulated both a major vein and a major artery, it was almost certainly inoperable. At this point a preadmission appointment was fast-tracked with Central Baptist Hospital for an endoscopic ultrasound biopsy to be performed on January 26.

As you can easily imagine, this series of events le! us in a state of shock.

Our heads were reeling. We felt our lives careening out of control. Caught in this maelstrom, our $rst instinct was to pray and ask our family and friends to pray

14

Don Butterworth

with us. On Sunday January 22, we shared the devastating news with our Sunday School class. In that class, the Lord blessed us with Lisa, a retired University of Kentucky Medical Center oncology nurse who became our advocate and our angel. A!er getting our permission she immediately contacted a surgeon who arranged to install Patti’s “port” on February 3. #is surgeon also arranged our $rst appointment with the oncologist who would become our primary physician for the entire course of treatment.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

15

2/9/2023 - Beginnings Dear Friends and Family, It was just less than a week ago that Patti talked with her new UK surgeon who was able to work her into his schedule the next day to install a chemo infusion port, and the surgery went well and without incident. He was also able to arrange for an appointment with Patti’s new UK oncologist for yesterday, February 8.

We found that appointment to be very positive. We found the oncologist to be engaging, knowledgeable, receptive, and enthusiastic. Considerable time was spent making notes, answering questions, and establishing a chemo regime. Of special note was the decision to use the FOLFIRINOX protocol since it is considered more e&cacious, though also more taxing. Blood was drawn using Patti’s new port for the $rst time with little pain and without incident. In addition, a second CT scan was performed at the UK hospital because the initial scan done at St Joseph in Nicholasville, did not include the entire chest area, which is a requirement before chemo.

Prior to yesterday’s appointment, Patti had been experiencing considerable fatigue due in large measure to disturbed sleep. Mostly the pain hasn’t been severe, but it has been su&cient to wake her. Other times she is wakeful even when no pain is involved. Usually, she sleeps soundly for the $rst 3-4 hours, but then has times of wakefulness the rest of the night. Also, she hasn’t had a good appetite, which is resulting in weight loss. She was strongly encouraged to consume more calories during the oncologist appointment. #e doctor is prescribing a new medication that she believes will help with these symptoms.

Tomorrow, Friday February 10, she is scheduled for her very $rst infusion. #is 6 hour ordeal will begin about 9 AM. #en, a second 30 minute infusion is scheduled for Sunday at 3PM. As you can see, events continue to happen in rapid $re succession. We are trusting that this is all because of God’s timing and intervention. Even so, the hours o!en seem very long. Please be in prayer speci$cally that the new medication will help her get more sleep and increase her appetite. Pray that any side e%ects from the chemo will be minimal and easily controlled. Pray that the

16

Don Butterworth

chemo protocol will be highly e%ective. Pray that additional therapeutic options will be discovered. Don’t forget to pray for Don. Standing on the promises, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

17

2/10/2023 – Chemo Dear Friends and Family, It’s really hard to grasp that only 4 weeks have passed since Patti has gone from the identi$cation of a mass in her pancreas to the beginnings of chemotherapy. On the one hand we are grateful for this amazingly rapid response. On the other hand, our heads are reeling as we try to keep up, and take it all in.

Here’s a snapshot of our experience with Patti’s $rst day of chemotherapy.

We arrived at the Markey Cancer Center infusion suite at 9:00 AM. We were very surprised to $nd that she IS allowed one visitor to be present. We had been told that wasn’t an option, but apparently the Covid restrictions were li!ed recently. #e suite had free Wi-Fi, a TV set with about 200 channels (which were never used), and a fully reclining lounge chair with heat and massage. It also has a wall size window, which is a big plus. Drinks and light snacks are available.

You can even request hand and foot massage, when some sta% are available. It all sounds like going to a spa until the Nurse hangs a bag of medicine from a tree and hooks it up to your port. We found the nursing sta% to be highly personable, knowledgeable, professional and very attentive.

As to chemotherapy, let’s just call it like it is. Drugs are poison. #e point of chemo is to kill what’s bad in you, but it also impacts what’s good. #at tug of war results in side e%ects. Some of the drugs can cause nausea, they can plug you up or have the opposite e%ect. Add to that, that everyone’s body is di%erent, and it becomes hard to predict how you will respond. Patti’s chemo consists of 3 infusions; 2 that are given at the center and one that uses a pump that you take home with you and is connected for 48 hours. Particularly in the case of nausea, drugs are administered to prevent it right at the outset and keep it under control for the entire course.

On the positive side, the $rst infusion went without incident. However, near the end of the second infusion Patti began to experience a kind of “thickening” sensation in her mouth that made it a little harder to speak. #is apparently is not an uncommon side e%ect, and the nurse was able to deal with it quickly. It did extend the time about 45 minutes, to get back to “baseline” and complete the second course of drugs. Adjustments will be made to the order in

18

Don Butterworth

which the drugs are administered and/or the speed with which they are given to try and avoid this in future sessions. We le! about 3:30. At that point Patti was pretty wobbly and drugged up. But she was also in good spirits and quite chatty.

Currently Patti is feeling OK but with some GI distress, plus some “shakiness” and weakness. #e pump that was brought home will not be disconnected until Sunday at 3:00 PM. #e drug it delivers has the potential for having stronger side e%ects. #at is why it is administered at a much slower rate. We were warned that Monday might be her hardest day. Once she gets past that point her strength should improve. It will be about 2 weeks before the next round of chemo is administered, at which time the cycle will be repeated until future scans reveal that another course of action is indicated.

Given this cycle, these reports will likely slow unless something out of the ordinary pops up. Our deepest heartfelt gratitude goes out to each and every one of you for holding us up to the #rone of Grace as we travel this strange new path.

Speci$cally, be in prayer that the course of medication will do exactly what it is supposed to do with a minimum of side e%ects. Pray that we will be able to keep nausea under control, that her GI tract will do all the things that a GI tract is supposed to do, that we will be able to sleep, that her strength will return swi!ly.

Gratefully, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

2/18/2023 – 1st “chemo” week

19

Dear Friends and Family, You may recall from my last update “we were warned that Monday might be her hardest day”, and that her strength should gradually improve. #at was probably overly optimistic. Pretty much the whole week Patti has battled with fatigue, lack of appetite, and sometimes nausea. #ankfully by Wednesday she was able to ween herself o% of the regular nausea drug doses and move on to the “as needed” doses. But the days have been hard.

Friday she had a particularly di&cult day because the pain in her back and stomach that had originally convinced her to go to the emergency room, decided to pay her another visit. It didn’t help that the day was stormy and gloomy. It took turning to a strong pain med to bring it under control. When we talked to our angel of mercy, Lisa Kellogg, she reassured us that there will be days like this, and that it means the chemo is $ghting the cancer. From now on, if there is any sign of that kind of pain recurring, it will get meds immediately.

Like a “duck on a June-bug” as they say. #ankfully Patti did get a decent night’s sleep last night. Today, Saturday, has been a truly good day. She felt stronger, was able to do a few laps around the yard, and cut some da%odils to give away. We got some chores done, and she even had the energy to give me a lesson in how to bake her “Crusty (never fails) bread”. One of my favorites. I’ll share the recipe with all y’all once I’ve perfected the directions.

We were very blessed to have our daughter Christine come down from Anderson on Monday and stay for a couple of days. She anticipated, better than I, the impact that chemo was going to have on Patti. She was so helpful and attentive. Believe me when I say that the love of friends, family and our Lord, are the best medicine. We thank all of you from the depths of our hearts.

In His Love, Don

20

Don Butterworth

2/26/2023 – Ordinary Days Dear Friends and Family, Many folks are aware that last Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the Lenten season; the time in the church calendar when Christians reflect on the life of Jesus and His journey to Calvary and Easter. But do you know the season that precedes Lent? It is “ordinary days”. #at is the season that Patti and I are in now. #is Monday, February 27, Patti is scheduled to have her second chemotherapy infusion. We now anticipate another week of “hard days” though some will be easier than others. We are becoming more savvy about how to avoid some of the side e%ects, but they are still real, and there is no escaping them entirely, especially the fatigue.

Last week, the second week in the cycle was better than the $rst; with days that feel more normal. But Patti needs to be careful not to overdo on those days, because the next day will leave her with low energy. One would like for the second week in the cycle to be all normal, but that is being overly optimistic.

Yesterday, Saturday, we had an “ordinary day”. Patti was able to cut my hair, we did a little shopping, and we had lunch with friends at a local restaurant.

But that used up all the energy for the day. Also, she had some unexpected GI issues that thankfully didn’t carry over into Sunday.

Sunday has been another ordinary day. We watched the live stream of the Wilmore Free Methodist Church morning service together on YouTube, and then I went to Sunday School. We ate le!overs, and took our mandatory Sunday a!ernoon naps, read some books ... an ordinary day. It is my hope that there will be many more ordinary days, and when possible, I will report them on Saturdays. But if there is anything out of the ordinary that needs reporting, I won’t hesitate to let everyone know.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

21

May each of your days be $lled with ordinary joys this Lenten season. #e fragrance of da%odils and winter honeysuckle. Blustery winds and blue skies. #e songs of the birds. Cuddly pets. Warm embraces from those you love.

Cherish your friends and family today. Do not wait.

Cherishing the ordinary, Don

22

Don Butterworth

3/5/2023 – More like Lent Dear Family and Friends, Alas, I had hoped to get out a report on Saturday, but circumstances scuttled that plan. #is was infusion week, and as expected it has been a draining week for Patti. Added to that was a virus that she picked up, probably when we were out gallivanting, on a day when she was feeling stronger.

One of the side e%ects of one of her chemo courses is extreme sensitivity to cold. Touching ice, or even a cold handle is very numbing and unpleasant.

Cold drinks are de$nitely out, as it can send a shock through her jaw up into her head. Being the dutiful caregiver that I am, I was very careful to taste her drink, before giving it to her, to make sure it was warm enough. I did that multiple times. Did I mention she had caught a virus? Next time she gets a clean cup every time. In Patti’s case, she pretty well breezed through the virus symptoms.

Makes me wonder if the chemo actually helped. I, on the other hand, was more wiped out, with sore throat, cough, loss of taste and smell. I know the symptoms sound like covid, but neither of us tested positive. I am better, but not completely over it. It might be trying to sneak into my ears now. #ankfully this was also a week when Christine and Stuart were able to be with us, #ursday through Saturday morning. As always, they brought food, and comfort, and a loving, servants heart with them. Having them here those days really helped us both. Friday night, around supper time, March roared in like a lion with sustained winds in the 60 to 70 mph range, lasting well into the night. It was about 5:30 PM when our power went out, along with our DSL and our land-line phone. #e winds $nally abated, and we were le! with no night lights and no white noise; just the sounds of each other breathing.

In the morning light we found a couple of fallen dead trees, along with lots of downed limbs. Before he le!, Stuart was able to haul almost all of the detritus into out-of-the-way brush piles. What a blessing! He also helped haul all of the food from our freezer over to our neighbor’s freezer, which was working because they wisely have a generator. Another huge relief and blessing.

A!erward, I texted my friend Bob to see if he might have an extension cord long

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

23

enough to reach the generator. Instead, he brought his own portable generator and got us set up with enough power to keep our refrigerator operating, plus a light and the TV. #e blessings just kept coming. Even the UK men’s basketball team beat Arkansas on their home court. Okay that was fun, but it probably doesn’t rise to the level of blessing. #e power $nally came back on at 3:30 PM Saturday. I was almost disappointed since we were now set for the long haul. So, it was back to the neighbor’s to collect our freezer food, and then unwiring the temporary and rewiring the permanent. By that point, Saturday had used up both our energy reserves and we slept like rocks. Today we will practice Sabbath at home. #ank you, dear ones, for your continued interest, caring, support, encouragement and prayers. YOU are a blessing.

Don

24

Don Butterworth

3/6/2023 – Bread Dear Family & Friends, Today is Maundy #ursday, the day during Passover when the Seder meal is eaten. It was during this meal, at Jesus’ Last Supper, that He instituted the Eucharist. He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to His disciples saying “#is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” It seems like the perfect day to share with you the bread recipe I’ve been working on. I’ve changed its name from Crusty White Bread (Never fails) to Crusty White Bread (Forgiving), *** because let’s face it, nothing in this world never fails, and forgiving is something we all need. #is has been a good “recovery week”, so far, for Patti. She has had more days when she has felt stronger than in most of the other cycles. We believe this is probably due to the extra hydration infusions she got last week, together with being very intentional to drink more fluids, even when it is di&cult. #ank you so much for your continued encouragement and prayers. May the rest of your Holy Week be $lled with awe and wonder and daily bread.

Peace be upon you, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

25

3/11/2023 – Bitter Dear Family and Friends, #ere’s no two ways about it, this has been a very hard week. On Tuesday I tested positive for covid at the Jessamine Medical Center. On Wednesday Patti tested positive for covid using a home test kit. It’s been 3 years since covid came to Kentucky, and now (!) is when we get it?

With the chemo, Patti’s pattern has been to feel very weak and tired through the 9th day a!er the infusion. It’s only then that the energy levels and side e%ects start to improve incrementally. #is week, the needle hasn’t budged much. Although Patti hasn’t experienced sever covid symptoms, which is a real mercy, the virus is robbing her of the “stronger days” that are supposed to come at the end of the 14 day cycle. As of now she is still scheduled to go in on Monday for the 3rd infusion.

My symptoms have been more typical of flu; weakness, coughing, fever, night sweats, and a bitter taste. In the traditional Passover meal (the Seder) one of the foods eaten is the “bitter herb” horseradish. It is eaten to remind the participants of the bitterness of slavery. #e bitterness of covid does feel like a kind of slavery, and though we know a day of deliverance will come, the day to day walk is still hard. It would be harder still, if we didn’t have your caring and prayers li!ing us. We are especially thankful for the two angels of mercy who brought meals for us this week. It really helped.

As of Saturday morning, both of us are feeling somewhat better physically. Hopefully that will carry over into the a!ernoon. Emotionally, we are both wrestling with the demon of discouragement.

Pray for victory.

Don

26

Don Butterworth

3/19/2023 – Charoset Dear Friends and Family, I mentioned last week that in the traditional Seder meal there is the horseradish dish that is a reminder of the bitterness of slavery. But also, part of that meal is charoset (pronounced “har-oh-set”) an apple, walnut, cinnamon, sugar, honey salad that is a sweet contrast. It represents the mortar used by the Israelite slaves to build brick buildings. It is a reminder that even in times of affliction, there are still times of sweetness. #is week, one of those times of sweetness was the “shower of blessings” provided by Patti’s Bible Study group. Sammie Moore and Teresa Cassidy showed up at the “servants entrance” door to our house, ladened with a 1 foot by 2 foot “envelope” $lled with cards of encouragement, along with bags and bags of tokens of love. We are so very grateful for each of you and for the way that you carry us in your hearts.

As expected, much of infusion week is di&cult, even with the meds.

We’ve come to realize that staying hydrated is especially important to keep Patti from feeling so weak. It’s just so hard to keep drinking liquids that you really don’t feel like drinking. She is facing 3 more infusion weeks before a cat scan is performed to see how successfully the chemo is shrinking the tumor. As to the covid, we are both mostly over it. According to the doctor if you’ve had no fever for 24 hours then you are no longer infectious. Still, I’m continuing to wear a mask on any forays to the grocery store. Overall, it’s been a week of recovery, and we are hopeful that next week will see each of us growing stronger.

Sweet Blessing to All, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

27

3/26/2023 – Rest Dear Family & Friends, Weariness. #at’s what infusion week leads to and several days into recovery week. #e Lord looked down on Patti and Don and knew that they needed a special blessing. So, he spoke to the music team at our church and said, “I want you to have the choir sing Come Find His Rest at the special service for the Healing of Human Hurts.” I don’t think that He only wanted to bless me with that song, but it felt like a special gi! just for me. #ere were many at the altar that Sunday evening, but Patti was too weary to come. I was one of the $rst to be anointed for Patti’s healing and for mine. A!er the service I went home and as we sat on the sofa, I wrapped Patti in my arms and we listened to Come Find His Rest and O Love #at Will Not Let Me Go, with tears of revival glistening in our eyes. #ere are links to these songs below, which I pray will bring each of you rest and assurance in your hours of weariness.

Although the beginning of this week was hard, our load lightened toward the end of the week. Four men from our church came out and cut up a tree that had fallen during a recent windstorm, clearing a path so that I could start mowing. What a huge relief that was! #en a friend dropped by a big container of soup and the next day some dear friends brought us a wonderful meal, that we enjoyed immensely.

On Friday we were blessed with a surprise visit by Christine, who needed to be in the area to help our grandson Luke deal with car trouble a!er a close highway encounter of the racoon kind. She was able to be with us through Sunday.

Saturday Amy was able to be with us also, and once again it was rea&rmed that Family Is Medicine. On Saturday and Sunday Patti felt her strength return to the point where she was able to do a little birthday gi! shopping and even go to church on Sunday morning. I was even inspired Saturday to try baking that bread recipe again, which turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. I will share it with you a!er I give it one more go.

Speaking of food... there are some folks on this list that have o%ered to bring us a meal. We are so grateful for your willingness to minister to us this way, but I just want to warn you that we are becoming ... ah ... peculiar eaters.

As I delve deeper into the impact that diet has on chemo and cancer we are

28

Don Butterworth

trying to adjust our eating habits. For those brave souls that really, really want to bring us food, please email me and I will share with you what we have learned and how we are trying to adjust. Please, please do not feel obligated to bring us meals!!! We are managing, and I will not be shy about asking for help.

Resting in His Arms, Don Come Find His Rest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ad-9x-ql3I O Love #at Will Not Let Me Go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cqblTDR8w

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

29

4/2/2023 – Holy Week Eve Dear Friends and Family,

#is was the 4th infusion week. It has been pretty typical. #e long Monday infusion usually doesn’t have too many side e%ects. But the Tuesday through Wednesday take-home-pump-infusion really takes a toll. It is very weakening and causes Patti to feel exhausted and nap a lot. It also takes away her appetite and makes drinking to stay hydrated a huge chore. #is week we had them add an extra liter of hydrating saline solution on Wednesday when her pump was disconnected. Plus, we came in early Friday morning for another liter. #is has helped to keep her blood pressure up and cut down some on other side e%ects. #e whole chemo regime does impact our emotions, and we count on your continued prayers in the struggle.

May each of you have a blessed Holy Week. You are loved!

Don

30

Don Butterworth

4/2/2023 – Daily Bread Friends, At one time or another each of you has indicated that you would like to bring us food. Always you have asked, “What would you like”, and usually our mind goes blank. #is is my best shot at what would be helpful. It was originally a big, long, detailed explanation of our food journey. Patti took one look at it and said that you would fall asleep before you got to the end. So ... here is the short version of our food peculiarities.

We found out about 2 years ago that we are both highly intolerant to egg yolks, egg whites, and dairy. It’s been a huge challenge and has required a lot of workarounds. Also, there are now foods, that for one reason or another, Patti is trying to avoid based on our research into what pancreatic cancer uses to grow and metastasize. Here is the list: eggs, milk, butter, cheese, sour cream, dairy yogurt, “real” mayonnaise, egg-based pasta, white rice, white potatoes, saturated fat, grapefruit, asparagus, fennel bulb, Boston lettuce, carrot, bock choy, endive, jalapeno, radish, orange bell pepper. We avoid arti$cial sweeteners. We have cut way back on red meats and increased our intake of seafood and mushrooms. #ese days we eat a lot more fruits and vegetables. We like fruit salads, lettuce salads, vegan pasta salad, soups, stews, curries, vegan breads, vegan cookies, and pizza without cheese.

We are sorry it is so hard to cook for us “picky eaters”. Believe me, we would love to return to the days of comfort food. Macaroni, sausage and cheese casserole comes to mind. But, given the state of our health, we have to limit those kind of indulgences to the occasional single spoonful. So far, we have been able to keep up with meals. So again, DO NOT feel pressured or obligated to bring us meals!

Relying on His daily bread, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

31

4/16/2023 – After Easter Dear Family and Friends, We were so thankful that Easter Sunday was still in recovery week and that we were able to be in the morning church service. Being part of a congregation that sings the Hallelujah Chorus is a blessing that I wish you all could experience. It makes the spirit soar.

But then comes Monday and the start of infusion number 5. #ese weeks are always $lled with extreme fatigue, weakness and side e%ects. But sometimes the side e%ect ebb for a day, which is what happened yesterday. Patti was feeling well enough to actually do a little flower planting. It was a beautiful day. Possibly, she overdid it a bit, because today she’s been pretty wiped out.

On a positive note, one of the blood marker tests that indicates the presence of cancer, was down signi$cantly when it was taken before the infusion. #at was encouraging. But the days continue to present challenges. #anks to All for your continued love, prayers and encouragements!

Resurrection Blessings, Don

32

Don Butterworth

4/23/2023 – Green Time Dear Friends and Family, Here on the hill, it is green time, an in-between time. All the da%odils, hyacinth, and tulips have bloomed and faded. #e red bud, wild plum, and apple trees have dropped their blossoms and their leaves are swelling. A cold snap this week reminds us that it’s still a little early for summer annuals and vegetables.

About the only color in the garden is the brown of newly spread mulch, a purple iris or two, plus a few hardy pansies and snapdragons. #is recovery week is another in-between time. A time between $rst diagnosis and $rst “scan”. It was a pretty typical week. Days of weakness and days feeling stronger. Unpredictable. One would think strong days would all be at the end of the week, but not always. With meds, one would think it’s possible to keep the chemo side e%ects under control, but not always. #ankfully Patti was able to go on a couple of short outings this week, which is always an encouragement. #is coming week is infusion number 6. We are anticipating that Christine and Stuart will be making the trek down from Anderson for another short visit on #ursday, and Patti’s brother hopes to drive down from Cleveland for a short visit the Monday of Recovery Week. Friday April 5, Patti will have her $rst “scan”. Please pray that our “scanxiety” will be minimal.

We are prayerful for two friends who have joined us on the cancer journey: Arv and Lyn. We are thankful for mown green $elds, blue skies, Spring rains, loving friends, loving family, Love Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

33

4/30/2023 – Movement is Medicine Dear Family & Friends, Just a quick update to let you know that for an infusion week, this was a particularly good one. #at is not to say that there were no side e%ects, but compared to other weeks Patti’s energy level was better, even on infusion days.

Christine and Stu were able to make it down #ursday through Saturday, and that is always energizing. We enjoyed two a!ernoons sitting around the roaring camp$re that Stu tended to help us get rid of a huge brush-pile that had grown with every passing storm this Spring. So relaxing ... for us; not so much for Stu. Patti even pushed herself to make a Costco run on Saturday and go to the early “children led” church service today. #ose two exercise really were wearing but it was so nice to do “normal” things; plus, as the doctor says, “movement is medicine”. We feel very blessed.

Tomorrow Patti’s brother will be making a solo run down from Cleveland to stay for a few days. #at will be another blessing. Pray that Patti’s stamina continues for recovery week and pray that our scanxiety levels stay low as we approach the $rst “scan” to see what e%ect this brutal chemotherapy has had on the tumor.

Peace and Blessings to All, Don

34

Don Butterworth

5/8/2023 – 3 or 4?!

Dear family and friends, As you are already aware, Patti’s CT scan occurred on Friday May 5, and today we were scheduled to consult with our oncologist, Dr. Patel. We had hoped for all good news because for the last two weeks Patti has had mostly days of feeling stronger. Instead, we are disappointed because the news is mixed and scary.

On the positive side the scan revealed that the tumor size has been reduced signi$cantly; something on the order of 35%. But it has still not pulled away from the involved vein and artery. Also, the blood “markers” were down signi$cantly, from (I think) about 1,200 to 100. But cancer free would be much lower still. #e most unsettling news has to do with very small lesions that were found in the lungs during the scan, 12 weeks ago, that preceded chemotherapy. #e size of these lesions were about as big as the head of a ballpoint pen, and though they might be benign, cancer could not be ruled out. A number of those lesions have disappeared. One would think that this is good news, and it might be. If they have disappeared because of natural body defenses that would be good. But if they have disappeared because of the chemo, then that means the spots were cancerous. It will take another 6 round of chemo before the next scan occurs, and a de$nitive diagnosis made. If it is cancerous then Patti’s condition would be classi$ed as stage 4 rather than stage 3. So ... we have to live with that uncertainty for the next 12 weeks.

If the tumor continues to shrink because of the chemo, at the end of the course a determination will be made as to whether or not “Whipple surgery” is an option. It is a very, VERY involved procedure, with a signi$cant recovery time. But it is the only route that leads to a cure. If it is determined that there is cancer in the lungs then Whipple surgery is almost certainly not an option, and chemo with radiation becomes the standard treatment protocol.

As you can see, there is no easy path. #at said, so far, chemo does seem to be doing its job, and we are trying to keep a positive attitude and do whatever

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

35

we can to $ght the beast. #ank you for being with us in the $ght and for all your love and encouragement. Pray that the spirit of fear will be cast out.

Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear, Don

36

Don Butterworth

5/14/2023 – Weak Week Dear Family and Friends, Unlike round 6 of chemo, where both infusion and recovery weeks Patti felt stronger, round 7 infusion week has been characterized by signi$cant weakness, fatigue, and side e%ects. Eating and drinking have been di&cult. Most foods don’t taste good and sometimes cause stomach upsets. #e urge to keep hydrated is very low and swallowing pills can be very di&cult. It has been a hard week.

Still, we feel the love and encouragement from all of you and believe that your prayers are sustaining us through all the ups and downs. Also, our spirits were li!ed by the celebration in our hearts of grandson Luke’s graduation from college, of grandson Wesley’s birthday, and of the celebration of Mother’s Day. I especially thank the Lord for years of rich blessings by 4 wonderful mothers: Ina, Patti, Amy, and Christine. How I wish we could have all been together this week.

Last week we were reminded by our pastor that laughter is healing medicine. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been a week with much laughter. But in that spirit seeking a smile, and in honor of Mother’s Day, here is one thought from Reader’s Digest describing a maternal experience: “First child eats dirt, mom calls the doctor. Second child eats dirt, mom cleans out his mouth. #ird child eats dirt, mom wonders if she still needs to make lunch.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all and keep on praying!

Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

37

5/21/2023 – Weak Week Again Dear Friends and Family, #ere hasn’t been much recovery this recovery week. #ere have only been a couple of days when the side e%ects have recanted. Even so, on Monday Patti felt strong enough to do a little shopping on her own ... which reminds me of the time a couple of weeks ago when she visited the Community Center. One of the volunteers said they were surprised that she was still driving. To which Patti replied, “Oh yes, and on the road most of the time.”

We were also able to make it to morning worship this morning and briefly attend Autumn Peterson’s high school graduation celebration this a!ernoon. She is graduating with an associates degree and is planning to major in marketing. Wow! Some people are just smart! Take my own grandchildren as another example ... but I digress.

Honestly this has been a very hard week with much weakness, loss of appetite, and other side e%ects. Patti has lamented more than once how she just can’t imagine getting through 5 more infusions. Tomorrow begins round 8.

Perhaps the blood-work will indicate that a slowdown is in order.

Our deep, heartfelt thanks for all of your prayers and encouragements.

Feeling the Love, Don

38

Don Butterworth

5/28/2023 – Up & Down Dear Family and Friends, It’s has been another up and down chemo week. #e side e%ects of the actual chemo days didn’t seem to have quite so many side e%ects. Also, Friday was a good day when Patti felt stronger. But the other days exhaustion, loss of appetite and other side e%ects have been pronounced. We wish we could $gure out how to have more strong days, but it is still a mystery that eludes us.

One thing that always raises our spirits is when family comes, and we were blessed to have Christine drive down from Anderson and stay with us from #ursday to Saturday. She pitched in with outdoor Spring maintenance, meals, and indoor chores. She’s now an expert using the power washer. Such a help! We do love being in the country on our 5 1/2 acres, but it is getting harder to keep everything “up to snu% ”, as theysay.

One new addition to our yard is a black and white rooster that has immigrated from who knows where. He seems to have adopted us, and routinely gives us the 4 syllable wake-up call. Err-er- ERR-er. I don’t speak fowl language, but I think he is singing, hal-le-LU-jah. May we all be like him; waking with hallelujah in our hearts and in our song.

Err-er-ERR-er, Don

P.S. We join in the #anksgiving that Arv is home from the hospital, and that a number of our friends who have been dealing with cancer are on the mend! Living in Hope.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

39

6/4/2023 – Plus 4 Dear friends and family, #is recovery week started out with lingering fatigue and side e%ects, but the last 4 days Patti has increased in strength. Several times this week she has felt strong enough to have visits with friends on our porch or in our home. On Wednesday she was able to do a little shopping on her own, on Friday friends brought dinner over, and we had a good time of fellowship. (I even made breadsticks that didn’t turn out too bad). On Saturday she was strong enough to make a Costco run in the morning with me, and a Lowes run in the a!ernoon.

I thought that might wipe her out for Sunday, but today we made it to morning worship, and in the a!ernoon, she went to a wedding shower. Amazing. As I write this she is sleeping peacefully on the sofa.

We also got a surprise bonus tonight. When we checked in to see what time we were supposed to show up for her usual infusion week, we found that none are scheduled. So that means two recovery weeks in a row. We don’t know if this is a scheduling oversight, or if it was planned, because it’s the $rst we are hearing about it.

It would seem that the hallelujah rooster has moved on from our place, though we still sometimes hear his call in the distance. I have to say that I am quite disappointed in him because on Friday; while out using the pressure washer, I was surprised to hear loud cackling coming from our front yard. What I found was the neighbor’s cat, Tigger, stalking a hen. When I started shooing the cat o%, the hen flew up into a tree leaving her brood of at least half a dozen chicks. It seems to me that the deadbeat dad rooster should have stayed around and looked a!er his family. #e single mom hen didn’t stay around very long but crossed High Bridge Road with her babies in tow. #is drama on our hill has given us the de$nitive answer to the age old question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Under the wings of the One who never leaves or forsakes, Don

40

Don Butterworth

6/11/2023 – Endings and Beginnings Dear Friends and Family, As of today, Patti has had 11 good days in a row! #is unexpected sequential recovery week has been a tremendous blessing. She has felt stronger, has had minimal side e%ects, her appetite is better, and she has regained close to 5 pounds. We are praising the Lord! Tomorrow will begin round 9 of 12 infusions. #is has also been a particularly eventful week. A few days ago, a Boston Rocker was delivered to our door and now graces our living room. #is is a traditional parting gi! given to seminary retirees and is a poignant reminder that in just 3 weeks I will become an emeritus employee, although I do plan to continue doing contract work for the library.

Also, this week, a!er much soul searching, Patti and I have decided to sell our home on the hill, that we built and have lived in since 1996, and move to Wesley Village. We expect to make a down-payment on one of the villas sometime next week. So, please pass the word! (See contact information below) We will try going the “For Sale By Owner” route to start with, but if we $nd that we are in over our heads we will turn to a professional realtor. #e home is “open concept”, 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, with an un$nished basement, and an un$nished bonus room over a 2 car garage. It is located 2 miles south of Wilmore on 5 1/2 acres. #e yard and woods area include many mature trees, including some mature fruit trees. #e views over the Kentucky hills is one of its major selling points.

As you can see, we are facing a boat load of stressful life-change events.

We are so thankful for your many prayers and acts of kindness on our behalf. We are grateful from the bottom of our hearts.

We Shall Overcome, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

41

6/18/2023 – 46 Dear Family & Friends, On June 18, 1977, I was blessed to have Patti take me as her lawfully wedded husband. #ere is nothing I am more grateful for. #at same day God doubly blessed me when I became the instant parent of Amy and Christine, a blessing I am particularly reminded of and thankful for this Father’s Day / 46th anniversary. Patti and I did most of our celebrating last recovery week. It turns out that was a good move because this infusion week has been more of a struggle.

We were still able to do some things this week, including trading one of our cars, as we walk down the downsizing path. We toured our future address in Wesley Village and did some dreaming about how to $x it up and make it ours.

Patti also made her $rst solo trip driving the new car to the grocery store. (She likes it ... whew!) Saturday, we spent some time at the Wilmore Farmer’s Market, and we did make it to church again this morning. Apparently, those activities were a bit much. Patti has been on the puny side most of the latter half of the week, including weakness and an unexpected round of nausea late this morning. #e good news is we have 2 full recovery weeks in front of us, now that she is on a 21 day cycle. More good news is that our Grandson Wesley and his wife Savannah celebrated their 1st anniversary today, and our Goddaughter, Martha, looks like she will be blessing us with a new baby today. June 18 is a very special day of the year.

Our pastor’s sermon this morning was from Ecclesiastes; the “For everything there is a season” passage. We are experiencing that truth daily as we “gather up” and “cast away”, as we “buy” and “sell”, as we experience “weakness” and “strength”, “defeats” and “victories”, “sadness” and “happiness”, “griefs” and “joys”. #e Lord is granting us what He promised, “abundant life.”

May each of your lives be $lled with His abundance!

Don

42

Don Butterworth

6/25/2023 – Lookin good Dear Friends & Family, On this recovery week Patti and I have been out and about on several occasion, including shopping, visits with friends and loved ones, Sunday morning worship, and even a Sunday School Class potluck (where we ate too much) Nearly always when we meet someone, their comment to Patti is, “Your looking good!” And she does. It has been a good week health wise. Side e%ects have been minimal. She has felt stronger, and her appetite is back so she is starting to gain back some of those lost pounds. She’s been feeling so much better during her recovery weeks you could almost say she is in $ne fettle. #is has been a week to celebrate. Our goddaughter gave birth, on our anniversary, and included Patricia as part of her name. On #ursday of this week, we put our earnest money down on patio home 114 in Wesley Village. If all goes well, we hope to move in by September. Our plan is to engage a realtor this coming week.

Also looking good is the upstairs of our home. We’ve made great progress clearing out the attic. #e Wilmore Community Center has been kept busy with our donations. Patti has even had the energy to start organizing her “cloth collection”. Quilters can imagine what a daunting task that is. We are running to keep up with all the stu% that needs doing, and so far, we have been able to “walk and not faint” because of your love, support, and prayers.

May your blessings be many and your fettle be $ne, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

43

7/2/2023 – 43 Dear Friends and Family, Patti’s overall health continues to be good, on this second consecutive recovery week. Although she still tires easily, her overall stamina continues to strengthen. #ank the Lord, we have been able to go and do in a fairly normal manner these days. #ere were several big events this Friday. A!er 43 years, I became o&cially “emeritus”. I will miss the ministry, the comradery, and those paychecks. #ankfully I will continue to do contract work for Asbury Seminary, which is a great blessing. Also on Friday, we selected a realtor who will shepherd us through the whole “selling-of-the-house” challenges. Also, also on Friday, the family came to visit for the weekend. Christine and Stuart came along with grandson Wesley and Wesley’s 12 year old brother-in-law, Chase, who is also Wesley and Savannah’s ward. (Long story there) #e $nal event of the day was the selling of our old car to Savannah’s sister. Many thanks to Keri Peterson for untangling the web of out-of-state title transfer procedures. We are now a one-car family. #e busyness of the weekend didn’t stop on Saturday. Both Stuart and Wesley exercise regularly and they put those bulging muscles to work hauling up from our basement much of the stu% that should have been pitched years ago. It is now in our garage waiting to be hauled over to the Nicholasville Recycling Convenience Center. Meanwhile the girls were busy de-cluttering and de-personalizing the main floor of the house in anticipation of pictures being taken by the realtor this coming week. It now feels a bit more like a rental condo than our home.

With so many transitions and challenges, it sometimes takes our breath away. Yet we continue to feel that we are making the right moves, following the Lord’s leading, and that He is giving us daily strength for each task. We are also convinced that it is your love, and concern, and prayers that gives us the ability to $ght the good $ght, run the race, and keep the faith.

Run on, Don

44

Don Butterworth

7/9/2023 – Almost Norman?

Dear Family and Friends, It has been another busy, busy week on the hill. Our new realtor, has had us moving in high gear with more de-cluttering/de-personalizing, organizing, vacuuming, cleaning, pitching, hauling, storing and mowing to be ready for the #ursday drone video, and the Friday home photo shoot, so that our For Sale website could go live today. Whew! What a whirlwind. #ankfully nearly every day of this 3rd-week-in-a row recovery week, Patti has said that physically she has felt “almost normal”. Normal doesn’t mean not exhausted, because every day this week was $lled with one task a!er another.

We couldn’t have done it on an infusion week, but with the help of friends, the loan of a truck, and the prayers of the saints, we were able to cross the $nish line on Friday. We took a sabbath rest both Saturday and Sunday to let our cramping muscles recover.

Tomorrow begins infusion week number 10. Anticipating it’s coming has been kind of a downer. #ere is an element of “scanxiety” trying to worm its way into our thinking, as we anticipate the CT scan on Infusion week 12. We also feel a little homeless, being in a house without our personal stu% sitting around. But most days we have been in good spirits. Tired, but in good spirits.

We know this is due to being part of a loving caring community. We continue to be truly blessed. #is world is not our home, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

45

7/14/2023 – Pilgrimage Dear Family and Friends, #is infusion #10 week went about as well as can be expected. Monday & Tuesday were pretty good, Wednesday wasn’t too bad, #ursday and Friday there was the typical fatigue, weakness and other side e%ects. #at said, the 3 week respite helped Patti to tolerate this round well. Well enough, in fact, that we are going to make a pilgrimage to Greenville Illinois this weekend. We would very much appreciate your prayers for health and safety as we make this journey to see dear friends from our early years.

Over the monotonous miles we plan to stay alert by listening to “In the company of cheerful ladies” and “#e good husband of Zebra Drive” both titles by Alexander McCall Smith. #ese are two of the adventures of Precious Ramotswe the “number one lady detective” in Botswana. It has been a tradition of ours to have Precious and her husband Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni accompany us on a number of our road trips over the years.

Our house went up on the market early this week and we have been spending a lot of time away from it while prospective buyers perused. We are currently entertaining 2 o%ers for purchase. We have high hopes that $nalized papers will be drawn up in the coming weeks.

Traveling with Jesus, Don

46

Don Butterworth

7/30/2023 – Echoes Dear Friends and Family, First ... before I forget ... we are trying to move all our correspondence from our Windstream.net email account to our Outlook.com account. In anticipation of that, I have attempted to include all of your email addresses on a new update list. A!er I send this email out, I will attempt to send a TEST email to each of you. If you do not receive a test email it means I have made a transposing error. Please let me know so that I can correct my mistakes. Also, please update our email address in your directories.

It was another good week for Patti’s health. #e extra recovery week continues to allow her to gain strength. Her side e%ects lessen the farther away from the infusions, though they haven’t disappeared entirely. We are not looking forward to infusion #11 which commences tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m. #e much anticipated CT scan is due on the 18th of August, the same day we are scheduled to close on the sale of our home. #e new owners are graciously allowing us to stay in the house through the 1st of September, when we anticipate moving into our new place in Wesley village.

We do have some concerns that the bathroom remodeling, painting and new flooring will not be completed by September 1. We would appreciate prayers for God’s perfect timing and that He would calm our anxieties.

Patti has used this week’s extra energy to continue packing stu%, in anticipation of the move. As we walk through the house our footsteps echo more loudly as the sound bounces o% the empty walls and denuded bookshelves.

Many drawers are empty; their contents going into stacked cardboard boxes reminiscent of Minecra! structures. We are spending more time sitting on the porch enjoying the koi pond and the waterfall even though the outside temperatures have been hot, hot, hot. #e Lord be your keeper; the shade on your right hand, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

47

8/6/2023 – Hard week Dear Friends and Family, Infusion week #11 has been one of the hard weeks. Patti’s energy level has been low, and she has lost some of the weight that she had gained. On top of that our spirits have been grieved because of the tragic car accident that took the life of one of the young moms in our church on Tuesday, Aug. 1. So heartbreaking!

We $nd ourselves constantly in prayer for this dear family.

Most of the stu% that can be packed, has been packed, so much of the week has been spent lazing around, listening to the clock tick, and waiting for the next meal to prep. One small project I worked on was packing up my collection of old audio discs. Talk about waves of nostalgia rolling over you. Why is it that I can recall words to secular songs from long ago and not holy scriptures? #is week our friend Sandy sent us some pictures of Patti and me when we were in our 20s. Wow! Did I ever “marry up.” Looking at those pictures ...

I feel the earth move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down I feel my heart start to trembling Whenever you’re around Oh Baby! ...

Sorry. I digress. #e coming week promises to be bittersweet. It begins with a funeral which is shortly followed by a doctor’s appointment, a rehearsal dinner, and the long-anticipated wedding of our goddaughter Virginia. Please pray for Patti’s strength to return quickly. Our goal is to get her to eat lots of healthy food, stay hydrated, and get energized for the upcoming celebration.

You’ve Got a Friend, Don

48

Don Butterworth

8/13/2023 – Overflowing Dear Family and Friends, Our cups have been overflowing with gratitude this week. Your prayers were answered for a good recovery week. Patti has felt much stronger compared to last week. #is has allowed us to do several things. On Wednesday we went to see another doctor in Midway who specializes in “Functional Medicine”.

He has prescribed a new regime of supplements that we trust will $ght the cancer, reduce inflammation, and help her immune system to recover from the chemotherapy that has decimated her microbiome. She had been on some supplements prescribed by “Dr. Don” (aka me), at a health maintenance level. #e new regime uses a number of new supplements at a therapeutic level.

On Friday we were blessed to be able to attend our 3rd godchild’s rehearsal dinner, and Saturday to attend her wedding. I was even privileged to o%er a blessing over the food, family, and friends before the festivities went into high gear. Such an honor. My cup overflows with thankfulness. Attached is a picture of one of the floral arrangements that we are now enjoying.

We bless the days that Bonnie and Jack and Sarah and Martha and Virginia entered our lives!

We bless the days that each of you came into our lives!

You are each more precious than gold and diamonds.

We expect the next two weeks to be overflowing with activities as well. #e $rst part of the week the bathroom renovations will be completed. Toward the middle of the week the new flooring will be installed. On Friday Patti will have a CT scan in the morning, and in the a!ernoon, we close on the sale of our house on the hill. Christine and Stu will be coming next weekend and loading up furniture and stu% to be taken back to Indiana. We may need some strong bodies to help get it dragged down the stairs and loaded into the truck. #e next week we will do the $nal boxing up, until we sign the papers for our new residence at Wesley Village on August 25. #en, we will begin the moving process. We expect to be fully moved by August 31. All this activity and

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

49

change is taxing and tense. Please pray that we will all remain healthy and that we will face each day and each challenge with a “right spirit”.

May your cups overflow with love, and joy and peace, Don

50

Don Butterworth

8/20/2023 – Sold Dear Friends and Family, As of this Friday, we became o&cially homeless. We are now squatters at the home owned by the Johnson family. Soon these walls will echo with the patter of the feet of a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and the pad, pad, pad of a Great Dane. In less than 6 weeks another little girl will be born, and she will add her voice to the chorus. Friday was also the last mowing I will do on the hill.

Also, Friday morning, we went into UK for Patti’s CT scan. We won’t know the results until we see Dr. Patel on Monday morning. At that time, we will decide whether to go ahead with a 12th and $nal infusion, and also discuss future treatment protocols. As you can imagine we are experiencing a higher than usual amount of scanxiety.

Saturday, Christine and Stuart, and Luke and his girlfriend Morgan, arrived with a U-Haul and loaded up a bunch of stu%, which they will either use or distribute among family in Indiana. A!er an exhausting day of loading, almost the whole family went to the Copper River for supper, and then to the $nal Stone Bridge Concert of the summer, in beautiful downtown Wilmore, to hear the Metrognomes Band play. It was a great day $lled with productivity, love and family. But with half our furniture gone, we are also experiencing a sense of the surreal.

Meanwhile, this week activity was in full swing at 114 Wesley Drive. #e bathroom renovation was $nished, the laminate and carpeting was laid, and new appliances installed. #is coming week the painting should be ready by #ursday, which is just in time for the Wesley Village signing on Friday. If all goes well, we will spend our $rst night in our new digs on Saturday August 26.

We don’t really know what this week will hold, whether it is another infusion week or another recovery week. We do know this house is not our home. We know this world is not our home. We know who is walking with us.

We thank the Lord for walking with us. We thank You for walking with us!

Sold out to Jesus, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

51

9/3/2023 - Moved Dear Friends & Family, Our apologies for missing last week’s update. #ere was simply too much going on to get the news out and then we were without the internet until #ursday.

First, the CT scan. It was not what we had hoped. At the chemo-halfwayscan the tumor had shrunk. At last week’s end-of-chemo-scan there was no change. Our oncologist has sent the scan results to our surgeon, to determine if surgery is a possibility. But because the artery and vein are still involved with the tumor, it is doubtful that this is an option. We have heard that there is a doctor at Mayo in Minnesota that has performed surgeries with this kind of a presentation, with some success. But that is an unexplored option at this point.

We hope to hear back from the surgeon soon, but for the time being, Patti is in a rest and recovery stage. It’s been pretty hard to rest and recover in the middle of a move!

Second, the Move. #e selling of our home on High Bridge Road went smoothly, as did our entrance fee signing at Wesley Village. As anticipated, the week before, Christine, Stuart, Luke and girlfriend Morgan came down and loaded a big U-Haul truck with stu%. #ey were such a huge help! Next came a week of boxing, boxing and more boxing. We became o&cial residents of the village on Friday a!ernoon and moved much of our clothing into the closet that same day. Saturday, almost the hottest day of the year, Wildcat Movers took all of the big furniture and moved it into place in our new digs. Saturday was the $rst night we slept in our new place. #ird, the Move continues. #e big stu% may have been moved but there was still a bunch of smaller stu% that needed to be moved in or moved on. #anks to a borrowed truck, a borrowed trailer and the tireless work of some friends the last vestige was moved out of High Bridge Road Home, on time, on the last day of August. Moved out, but not really moved into Wesley Drive Home. We now have a garage that is 2/3 full of boxes that need unpacking and furniture that doesn’t $t the floorplan. My goal is to be able to move the car into the garage by the middle of September. So, as they say, “it ain’t over till it’s over.”

52

Don Butterworth

Fourth, Moving drama. All was not smooth sailing last week. When I woke at 4 AM one morning I decided to go sleep on the couch for a while.

When I picked a pillow o% the floor to take with me it was ... wet! Not from our dog, but a plumbing leak related to our new bathtub installation. A!er a few hours of angst, Tim was able to $nd the problem and correct it without making a huge mess. Whew! #en there was the brand-new washing machine that Patti couldn’t get to work. It took two days before maintenance could take a look.

Meanwhile the dirty clothes pile grew higher and higher. It turns out that the culprit was a defective part. So, it was exchanged with another new washer that works. #en there’s the new patio set that I tried putting together ... and had extra bolts at the end of the $rst chair. I will have my own un-doing and re-doing project next week.

Too, too new. When we wake in the morning these days everything is ... new. #e furniture is familiar but it’s in a new arrangement, in a new floor plan. #ere’s new flooring, new appliances, new vistas, a new bed, new internet provider, new television provider, new neighbors, new dining routines, new dog walking routines, new challenges ... and then there’s the anticipation of new medical protocols and procedures. In short there’s just too much new, and it takes a toll on our energy and moods. And then there was a new tragedy. One of Patti’s Greenville friends lost her husband to cancer this week. Our heart break with Diane at the loss of her beloved Ted. Moving is just hard for us old folks. But we take comfort in the blessing of being supported by friends and family like you! And we are thankful we only had to travel 4 miles. We are thankful that we are not like old Abraham who was called to just pick up and go without a clear destination. And we are thankful that we had Wildcat Movers to help us instead of Camel/Donkey Movers.

Moving on, Don I’m pressing on, the upward way New height’s I’m gaining every day Still praying as I’m onward bound, “Lord, plant my feet on higher ground”

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

53

9/10/2023 – Settling Dear Friends and Family, It seems somehow wrong not to be reporting on chemo weeks and recovery weeks. Patti’s last, and $nal FOLFIRINOX chemo infusion was about 4 weeks ago. So, one could say that she has had 3 recovery weeks in a row. But what full weeks! Stress levels have gone into the red zone on more than one occasion.

Also, there is the psychological adjustment to no-chemo. When you have it, you know it is working because it makes you feel so horrible. When you are choking down supplements multiple times a day, you don’t get that same “this is really doing something” sensation, which can lead to discouragement. Also, chemo devastates your gut microbiome, which is the center of your immune system. It takes months to fully recover naturally, so she is still having to deal with those side e%ects, which is also discouraging. Finally, on the health front, Patti lost a crown last week, so she will be in the dentist chair late Monday morning. <sigh> #ere is still much to pray about.

We are still not “settled” in our new place. #e garage is now about ( $lled with boxes, furniture, and miscellaneous stu%. #ere are still no pictures hanging on the wall. #e new window blinds are sitting on the floor. We are still trying to settle in on just the right spot to hang our Regulator wall clock. On the positive side, you can now $nd an uncluttered place to sit when you come to visit. I did get all of the patio furniture put together. #e window glass is now cleaner. #e sliding doors now slide. Dead bushes are pulled out. #e rotten retaining wall is gone. And the back garden is weeded. #ere is still much to do.

Stepping into the Wesley Village lifestyle also has its challenges.

Everybody enjoys the food here, but for those of us who are trying to stick with a low carb, low sugar diet, we need to make quite a few “substitutions” to the menu ... each day ... by 9:00 AM. (Why is this so hard?) Although we know a number of people here already, there are still many faces that need to be attached to names. Once the pictures are up, the clock is on the wall, the front garden gets a Fall makeover, and the car is in the garage, we look forward to having time to get to know our neighbors in settings other than the dining room. #ere is still much settling to be done.

Still moving, Don

54

Don Butterworth

9/17/2023 – 2/3 settled?

Dear Friends and Family, #is week’s report is going to be on the short side, because we are still living in an in-between-time. It will be at least 2 more weeks before we have another doctor’s appointment. Patti will again be in the dentist’s chair on Monday getting re-crowned. (Ugg) She also continues to have gut issues lingering from the chemo.

Progress was made in the villa. More furniture found a new home. #e rooms are now mostly arranged in their permanent layout. #ere are still a lot of pictures that need hanging, but the clock is once again ticking on the wall.

New blinds are up. #ere is still unboxing/re-boxing that needs to be done. #e garage is still about 1/3 full of stu%. #e car is still out in the weather. #e front of the house is looking better as the garden beds now have sharper edges chopped out of the rock-hard clay soil, and we are blessed with fall color from the mums purchased at the church youth Fall fundraiser. #e Autumn weather has been beautiful this week with mostly blue skies and pu%y white clouds. Temperatures have been in the upper 70s. It was the perfect weather to get some work done outside and to enjoy the Wilmore “More Tails” storytelling festival that we are blessed with every year. If you need a good laugh, check out some of Bil Lepp’s videos on YouTube. He was terri$c.

Here is a verse of scripture that I encountered during my devotional reading this week. I hope you will $nd it encouraging as well. #e Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

I will advise you and watch over you.”

Psalm 32: 8 (New Living Translation) On the pathway, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

55

9/24/2023 – Slow Progress Dear Friends and Family, #is week it’s another short report. #e big health events this week were the 2 days that Patti had to be in the dentist chair getting multiple crown$, and a sore jaw. #e gut issues also continued this week along with a round of acid reflux. We have both experienced some days of weariness, in body and spirit.

Slow progress continues to be made on the bungalow. With the help of a friend, we were able to put together a new corner TV stand, complete with fake electric $replace. (It looks nicer than it sounds) More things have found their permanent places but still not enough to get the car into the garage. Maybe this coming week. We shall see.

Two highpoints of the week were celebrating our grand-goddaughter’s 2nd birthday yesterday and her baby sister’s dedication service this a!ernoon.

Such a delight. Scott and Martha spoke words of devotion, commitment and blessing over “Wren” and presented her with this life verse. It’s one of my favorites. One that I cling to. One we should all cling to, I think. #is is my commandBe strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid or discouraged.

For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 9:1 (New Living Translation) Strength and courage, Don

56

Don Butterworth

10/1/2023 – Almost Dear Friends and Family, It’s been another slow/fast week. You know what I mean. Sometimes the hours just seem to pass slooowly, then all of a sudden you can’t believe a week has gone by. Patti’s fatigue level was high for most of the beginning of the week.

Not sure if it’s from trying to cut out ca%eine in an e%ort to get the acid reflux under control, or something else.

Friday and Saturday the energy level was de$nitely much better, but the heartburn and GI issues continue. Patti even felt up making a new gluten free recipe; garbanzo bean mu&ns (I kid you not. #ey were much better than you think She had an appointment with her functional medicine doctor in Midway, this week but there’s really nothing to report until the lab work comes in. #e car is still out in the weather, but more boxes have been unpacked and we are nearing “pull in”. I did $nd a good deal at Costco for 45-gallon clear plastic containers. So, I got 18 of them. Surely that will be enough to get everything out of the cardboard boxes. We had some rain on Wednesday which so!ened the soil enough that I was able to get some weeding done and the front borders in shape for winter. #e front of the bungalow looks quite nice. Very Fall-ish. #anks so much, everyone for continuing to pray for us during these mostly uneventful days. It is because of your love and prayers that our days are quiet.

Peace, be still, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

57

10/8/2023 – Nearly normal Dear Family and Friends, #is $rst full week of October has seemed nearly normal. Although she is still dealing with heartburn and GI issues, Patti’s energy level has been mostly good. #ere were several times this week when she was out and about; Bible study, lunch with friends, “Prime timers” lunch, and even a little yard work.

A highlight of the week was the Piano/Flute concert given by Julie Tennent and Susan Arnold in the Village auditorium. It was magni$cent, flowing from classical, to sacred, to jazz.

Although the car still isn’t in the garage all of the furniture is in place.

Can I interest anyone in 3 plant stands? Speak now. Also, nearly everything that was in cardboard is now in plastic. It still isn’t organized to my satisfaction, but we are getting there. We are $nally ready to get our artwork up on the walls. #e garden bed in back of the house is now edged and mostly weeded. We want to have everything ready to plant lots of flowers next year. We’ve been watching the Chelse Flower Show and Gardeners World programs on BritBox to get some inspiration. #e coming week will be full. We will have another meeting with our oncologist, where we will be discussing radiation treatments. Also, there is another bought in the dentist chair. Also, this coming weekend, Patti’s brother Jon will be visiting. I hope to do some more digging in the dirt and start organizing Patti’s fabric collection.

We did get one piece of bad news from the bloodwork that was done last week. #e A19 indicator was up from 50 to 70. #is number is above normal, but the reading is also somewhat di&cult to interpret. Still, lower is better than higher, and it is something to take to the Lord, along with the acid reflux and ongoing GI issues. #anks so much for your love and prayers! Here is a short verse that I found encouraging this week. I hope it is encouraging for each of you as well.

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior!

For each day He carries us in His arms.

58

Don Butterworth

Psalm 68:19 New Living Translation Carry On, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

59

10/15/2023 – Inside Dear Family and Friends, It’s been another “near normal” week physically for Patti. She continues to deal with heartburn and lower GI issues. She is also contending with neuropathy in her hands and feet, which is a direct side e%ect from one of the chemo drugs.

It is quite annoying and may or may not ever go away. Why these issues persist continues to be a mystery. Her visit to see her oncologist was uneventful. It was primarily a precursor to the next phase of treatment, which will be radiation.

Her $rst appointment with the radiologist, is on Oct. 30. #e treatment consists of low dose chemotherapy, and radiation 5 times a week for $ve weeks in a row.

We were blessed to have Patti’s brother visit us for a few days this weekend. It was good to get caught up. He and Patti enjoyed walking Annie around the village, along with going out to lunch and checking out the Joseph Beth bookstore. He also lent a much-appreciated hand in the garden. He helped us to transplant some irises, plus plant pansies and over a hundred grape hyacinth bulbs. As they used to say in the Greenville Advocate when reporting on family gatherings, “a good time was had by all!” #is coming week we will have another huge blessing, a visit from Christine and Stuart, Wesley, Savahanna and Chase.

I never did $nd time to work on Patti’s fabric collection this week, but I did $nally get the garage organized to the point where the car is now inside the garage. Woo Hoo! We $nished just in time to get it pulled out of the chilly autumn wind and rain that rolled in for the weekend. #e garage is still too crowded, so we’ll keep chipping away. Anybody need any packing boxes? #ey are next on my list to go to the recycle bin, so speak now.

With the car in the garage, you might think that we can now feel “settled” ... well ... not really. #e whole moving, downsizing process, along with health issues, new views and new routines is not conducive to feeling settled. Honestly even with every plastic container organized and in place and with every picture hung, I expect it to be months, possibly years, before we can say we feel settled.

But! ... this we can say ...

60

Don Butterworth

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever Psalm 73: 26 New Living Translation In His Strength, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

61

10/22/2023 – Organized Dear Family and Friends, #e “near normal” weeks continue for Patti. Although she continues to deal with heartburn and lower GI issues, there have been some days when the symptoms were milder. #e problem is, when you feel more normal, it’s tempting to eat like it’s the good-old-days. But her insides just haven’t recovered enough to cope with Standard American Diet (SAD) food. She is working hard to gain healing by taking her doctor prescribed supplements and faithfully walking Annie once or twice a day. #is weekend we were blessed with a visit from Christine and Stuart, Wesley, Savahanna and Chase. Amy and Sarah were also able to come visit “the villa” for the $rst time. #ere is no question about it, having family come to visit is good medicine. It was great to be able to put both leaves in the dining room table and break bread together with loved ones. Some of the activities included electric skateboarding, the pumpkin catapult at Asbury U., hiking, a 300-piece jigsaw puzzle, lounging on the back porch, British Bakes, build your own pizza, homemade angel food cake, oatmeal cookies, and air hocky.

On the Homefront, I was able to “catalog” Patti’s fabric collection, and get everything into the house, in plastic containers, that needed to come in from the cold. All the rooms are looking pretty put together now ... just don’t look under the beds! #is coming week I’m hoping to get the last of the gardening done for the year, if the weather allows and my back holds up. #e oak tree on our lot is dropping thousands of acorns. It’s like trying to walk on ball-bearings. #is week has included days when our spirits were down and other days when our spirits were up. Regardless of how we feel physically, mentally and spiritually, the scripture remind us: #ose who live in the shelter of the Most High will $nd rest in the shadow of the Almighty ...

He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

62

Don Butterworth

His faithful promises are your armor and protection Psalm 91: 1, 4 New Living Translation In His Shelter, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

63

10/29/2023 – Planting/Harvesting Dear Family and Friends, It’s been another good week for Patti’s health. She continues to feel incrementally stronger, although she continues to deal with heartburn and lower GI issues. Of course, that could well change tomorrow, when she sees the radiologist. We are told that her next treatment will include “mild chemo”, along with the daily radiation treatments. Time will tell if the side e%ects impact her strength, and feelings of vitality. #is week in Wilmore it was almost summerlike with highs in the upper 80s, but with big changes predicted for next week including the $rst killing frost.

So, I’ve been digging and planting and mulching ... a lot ... because you reap what you sow. If you don’t sow, you reap ... weeds. Of course, you aren’t guaranteed a good harvest just because you plant. You’ve got to plant deep enough, fertilize, water, kill pests when you can catch them and wait. Isn’t that just like life? When you eat right, you are more likely to harvest health. When you sow acts of kindness you are more likely to receive acts of kindness. When you go the “extra mile” you are more likely to harvest a hundredfold. But it might be a very long time before the harvest comes.

Progress was also made on the decorating front. #anks to Patti and our pastor’s wife for putting their heads together, I have high hopes that we will get most of the pictures hung this week. Woo Hoo! #en we’ll take a breather for a few weeks before it’s time to decorate for Christmas. Oh my.

It’s been an emotional Sunday today. #e choir sang a beautiful rendition of Jesus Lover of My Soul (arranged by Mark Hayes), the pastor exhorted us to turn o% the noise and listen to the “still small voice of the Spirit”, the Sunday School teacher taught on the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea, and the evening service was the annual celebration of the lives of family and friends who have gone on to their eternal reward.

Below is the text to Jesus Lover of My Soul by Charles Wesley and a link to a performance of the arrangement by Mark Hayes. I hope it moves your spirit, and it did mine today.

64

Don Butterworth

Still planting, Don Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to thy bosom fly, while the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high; hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past; safe into the haven guide, O receive my soul at last!

Other refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on thee; leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.

All my trust on thee is stayed, all my help from thee I bring; cover my defenseless head with the shadow of thy wing.

Plenteous grace with thee is found, grace to cover all my sin; let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within. #ou of life the fountain art; freely let me take of thee; spring thou up within my heart, rise to all eternity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I4MJJYIEy4

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

65

11/5/2023 – zzzzz Dear Family and Friends, #ere’s been a lot happening this week. Monday’s big event was Patti’s trip to the radiologist, which was pretty much uneventful. Tuesday included women’s Bible Study, Wednesday a trip down to Harrodsburg to visit our friend who had just had surgery, #ursday “Prime Timers” lunch at the church with a program devoted to the “real” history of #anksgiving and in the a!ernoon “Dido and Aeneas” an opera workshop presented by the Asbury University Music Department. #e singers did a masterful job, but I have to say, Greek tragedy is not my cup of tea.

Sometime during all that activity, I picked up a head cold, which I dutifully passed on to Patti. #ankfully it has been pretty mild, probably because of all the zinc and D3/K2 that we routinely take. It was bad enough that we didn’t want to take a chance and pass it along. So, we missed a wedding on Saturday and the annual #anksgiving Dinner at the church tonight. As you might surmise, Patti’s health continues to be on the “good” side ... but ... the heartburn and lower GI issues persist. #e cold snap at the beginning of the week did knock back some of our flowers, but there was a rebound of mild temperatures later in the week so there is still some color out front. #e mulch is all laid down now. #e electric candles now glow in the windows at night. Nearly all of our artwork is $nally $lling the wall space. #e electric $replace glows and blows in our snug (aka patio room).

And the $rst Christmas decoration of the season went up this a!ernoon; a small lighted tree next to the $replace. We have at least 10 boxes of Christmas regalia in the garage, and I am actually thinking about buying more. Crazy, eh?

Coming events this week include a doctor visit tomorrow in Midway, a CT scan on #ursday and a PET scan on Friday. We will also be adjusting to the return to Eastern Standard Time. Falling back in the tough change for us. We want to fall asleep at 7:30 ... zzzzzz, Don

66

Don Butterworth

11/12/2023 – Liver spot Dear Family and Friends, #is week we got some concerning news. #ursday Patti went in for a PET (Positron Emission Tomography) Scan. “#e PET scan uses a radioactive drug called a tracer to show both typical and atypical metabolic activity.” On Friday morning, when we went in for her scheduled CT scan, the radiologist informed us that the PET scan had revealed a very small spot on the liver.

Because of that, a decision was reached to schedule a conference for Monday morning with Patti’s “team” of 4 doctors. #e purpose of that meeting will be to determine whether to continue with the anticipated radiation therapy or go with a di%erent approach. #ere is a possibility that the spot is an old cyst, and it is small enough that a biopsy may not be a possibility. I have reservations about having a biopsy, in any event, since that can lead to metastasis. We expect to get a phone call from the radiologist shortly a!er the team meeting. I will send out a report to our friends and family as soon as we get some answers and directions.

On the positive side, at this time Patti’s overall physical health remains una%ected, except for the ongoing heartburn and digestive issues. On the spiritual side, here is a quote that she texted to our girls when we got this news, “I’m still here today and feeling pretty good. Cannot waste the day the Lord has blessed us with.” As you can see the Lord is working in her spirit and in mine.

But we do rely on being li!ed up by our loved one as we walk up the hills and down the valleys of our journey.

I close with this verse from the song, His Eye Is On the Sparrow, that came to Patti on Saturday.

Whenever I am tempted, Whenever clouds arise; When songs give place to sighing, When hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to him, From care he sets me free; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me.

Under His Watchful Care, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

67

68

Don Butterworth

11/13/2023 – Liver “cyst” Dear Family & Friends, #e doctor just called to let us know that the team consensus is that the liver spot is not cancer but a cyst. #e next step will be to have another CT scan next Monday the 20th, with radiation therapy happening shortly therea!er. We are very relieved with this reprieve, but still concerned about the e%ects of the new upcoming therapeutic assault.

Keeping on, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

69

11/21/2023 – !ankful Dear Family and Friends, We are greatly rejoicing that the liver “spot” turned out to only be a cyst. What a tremendous relief. I felt like chains had dropped o% of us when we $nally got the news. We also continue to be thankful that physically, Patti has had another good week, except for the ongoing heartburn and digestive issues. #anks so very much for your thoughts and prayers!

One surprise that we received this week was to $nd that the radiologist has now ordered an MRI scan. It had been our understanding that once the CT scan (which will occur tomorrow) was completed that the next step would be the beginning of the radiation treatment. Now it seems that an MRI is also necessary to pinpoint the radiation even more precisely. #e problem is that it appears the $rst available opening is in January. We are hoping that one of our doctors can arrange for an earlier MRI. #is is a situation where we would appreciate prayer, since we want to get this treatment started as soon as possible.

On the home front, we have mostly completed the move-in phase now and have started establishing village routines. Most of the trees have lost their leaves. #e mums have faded a!er blessing us with their autumn color. #e pansies are putting down roots and continuing to bloom. #e pumpkins will disappear this week, to be replaced by Christmas lights. Indoor colors will shi! from browns, orange and gold to reds and greens.

Christmas music has started playing from our speakers. New lighted garlands have already been strung over the entrance to our kitchen and snug.

Yes, yes. I know. We haven’t passed #anksgiving yet. But the Hallmark Channel, Great American Family, UpTV, and Lifetime have been playing Christmas movies for months now, so I just succumbed to the social pressure. Have you ever noticed that all those shows have the same plot, just di%erent actors? But I digress.

We have so much to be thankful for, this #anksgiving week, and each of you is at the top of our list. What a blessing you are, and we love you with all of our hearts. We pray that each of you will experience rich joy this #anksgiving and all through the Advent season, Truly #ankful, Don

70

Don Butterworth

11/26/2023 – Whiplash Dear Friends and Family, As you will recall, Monday was the day that Patti got her CT scan and 3 tattoos (3 dots about the size of a freckle) Very fashionable among the radiology people, I’m sure. While there Patti talked to a technician about the need for an MRI. He said he didn’t know about that but he would ask the doctor, who was there at the time. #e doctor explained that the MRI was related to the liver spot and was no longer necessary. We feel like there is an element of “the right hand not knowing what the le! hand is doing” in radiology.

So, we were relieved that there will be no delay starting the radiation therapy, which is now scheduled to begin on December 5, Patti’s birthday. We celebrated this good news by stopping at Ramsey’s for lunch; a Rubin sandwich for Patti and grilled pork chops with red sauce, Acorn squash and fried green tomatoes for me. But as we were driving home from lunch, Dr. Roach, Patti’s functional medicine doctor, called to let us know that Patti’s CA19-9 levels had shot up from 70 to 700 on the most recent blood test. #is is not good, but he said that it may simply be an anomaly. We will be sure to have that test taken again when the lab work is done prior to the radiation therapy.

Although this was another punch in the gut, the rest of the week has gone surprisingly well. Patti’s heartburn and gastric issues have been somewhat better. Also, we’ve put up all the Christmas lights, the Christmas tree, and done some Christmas shopping. We’re hoping to get as much of the decorating and gi! giving completed before the chemo and radiation side e%ects start up. Happy Christmas music is o!en playing in the background which helps, along with your prayers, to keep our moods in the “normal” range.

I close with one of Patti’s favorite scripture passages that we were again reminded of in church this morning.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12 New International Version.

Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

71

12/3/2023 – Advent Dear Friends and Family, It has been about a year since Patti felt a pain in her back that kept her from sleeping at night, the advent of this year’s unexpected journey. Since beginning chemo, thankfully, that pain went away. But a couple of times this week, Patti has experienced similar back pains. At this point we don’t know the cause, and hope it is an anomaly, but it is concerning, so we do ask for prayer for this new pain, and the ongoing chemo side e%ects. #is week we continued our preparation and decoration for the advent of Jesus. All the lights are now twinkling. #e creche is set up in the center of our home, reminding us of the reason for the season. Gi!s are being ordered, wrapped and received. Eight reindeer and one moose are sitting on top of my computer desk, staring down at me even as I type. Our goddaughters have visited us with their precious children. Time has been spent with friends. And tonight, Patti and I were privileged to carry garland down the aisle of the church, to decorate the altar at our annual “hanging-of-the-greens” service. (Something you can see on the Wilmore Free Methodist Church YouTube channel.) It has been a good week. #is coming week is the advent of our birthdays and of radiation therapy. Not the kind of present that we would have wished for, but one we are embracing, nonetheless. Despite this new challenge, we hope to fully participate in the celebrations of the blessed Advent of our Lord and Savior. May each of you experience the wonder of His Coming this holy season.

Tidings of comfort & joy, Don

72

Don Butterworth

12/10/2023 – Birthday Week Dear Friends and Family, It was the best of birthdays. It was the worst of birthdays.

Patti’s birthday was last Tuesday, and it was more than a shower of blessings. It was more like a deluge of blessings. It was $lled with cards, texts, and phone calls, and visits, and gi!s. It was also the $rst day of her radiation therapy.

Many of you hospital veterans know that when you’re a patient, every person you talk to at the hospital asks your birth date, so she even got enthusiastic congratulations from the clinic sta%.

A!er the radiation therapy session, we stopped at Bella Notte for a late birthday lunch. We were able to snag the table next to the $replace plus a free birthday dessert. Later that a!ernoon we signed into the UK MyChart to see blood test results and they were not good. #e AC19 numbers had continued to climb ... exponentially. We were shocked and grieved. #at blow plus the general tension and low dose chemo le! Patti pretty sick that night. #ankfully, over the next few days we’ve started to recover from the initial shock and were able to embrace the Advent festivities ... and each other.

Come what may, God is with us, and we are doing what we can to treasure each day we have together. Music helps and we were blessed to be able to attend a concert by the Diggles Family Singers, #ursday and Saturday, the Metrognomes Christmas Concert.

My birthday was Friday. #e big seven-oh. It was an intentionally quiet day but celebrated with love and well-wishes from family and friends. Both Patti and I have felt just a little on the puny side this week. Also, on Friday Patti had another AC19 blood test, but we haven’t seen the numbers for that one yet.

Hopefully the radiation will pull them out of the stratosphere. #e gi! buying is now mostly complete. Saturday, we got the last ornament hung on our Christmas trees to the accompaniment of Manheim Steamroller. Now if we can just get things wrapped and mailed...

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

73

Today, Sunday, “A Manger Suite” will be performed by Wilmore Free Church choirs for the morning worship service. I heard them practicing a little last week. Wow! #is is going to be good!

Love Never Fails, 1 Corinthians 13: 8 Don

74

Don Butterworth

12/17/2023 – 2 Fifths Dear Family and Friends, #e grinding out of radiation/chemo continues. Every weekday morning we drive into UK around 9:30 and try to $nd a parking spot. Round, and round, and round like a game of musical chairs. Depending on how backed up radiology is, we can be in-and-out in anywhere from 20 minutes to 50 minutes. As with the other chemo routine, the side e%ects are nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, trouble sleeping and GI issues. #e good news is that we are already about 2 $!hs completed, and there are meds that help with the side e%ects ... most of the time.

On Friday we went into Lex a second time. Patti had another CT scan to try to see if there is any kind of obstruction that is causing her AC19 numbers to climb. I think we were the very last scan, at the end of the week; around 5:00 PM. What a drag! #is coming week, Tuesday is a big day. We will be meeting with the oncologist to discuss what was discovered with the latest CT scan. Needless to say, we are unsettled as we wait for these new $ndings. It is also the day that I am going to have a test done to determine what is causing numbness in my thumb and determine if there is anything that needs to be done about it. I suspect it is simply the result of using a computer mouse almost all day, every day, for 50 years.

Even with all the hard news, it has not been a bad week. #e weather has been mostly warm with sunny blue skies. We particularly enjoyed the Christmas piano duet concert that Julie Tennent and Linda Pickerill blessed us with. We’ve had sweet times visiting with friends and we successfully got most of the Christmas presents wrapped and mailed.

While in the waiting room these days, I’ve been rereading the Narnia books. I’m currently in the middle of, #e Voyage of the Dawn Treader, where Eustace Scrub becomes a dragon. As we look to the coming year, let’s all make a resolution to not be dragonish. #e cure is so very painful. (#e very $rst tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart) Yet, thankfully,

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

75

there is a cure! (... It smarted like anything but only for a moment. A!er that it became perfectly delicious ...) #ankfully, prayerfully, lovingly, Don

76

Don Butterworth

12/24/2023 – Christmas Eve Dear Ones, God is Love.

God is with us.

Immanuel.

God is with us.

It is in this knowledge, this great hope of Christmas, that Patti and I have been sustained over this year’s cancer journey. It is to this truth that we cling for comfort when we receive hard news like we received this week. #e CT scan revealed that the cancer has spread to the liver. At this point the spots are small and are not obviously impacting Patti’s ability to function. But this spread moves her into the next phase of stage four.

It is the doctor’s belief that the current chemo/radiation regime was not working, so it was discontinued as of Friday. #e plan now is to begin the other “standard” chemo treatment which I believe is Abraxane / Gemcitabine infusions: 3 weeks on, one week o%, starting January 5. In addition to this, a search will begin to try and $nd clinical trials that address her particular kind of cancer. So, if any of our medical friends who have been receiving these updates know of, or discover, any pertinent trials, please contact us as soon as possible!

Because of Patti’s overall strong constitution, the oncologist’s prognosis is that six months from now she could be in about the same condition she is now in. However, “it would be remarkable for her to live longer than a year.” Still, we live in hope. It is not impossible that a clinical trial can be found that will make a di%erence. We are trying not to worry about the future, because Jesus said, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6: 27) We do try to treasure each day and each other; to give tender touches; to speak lovingly. We are grateful for days with friends and family. We are grateful for days when the chemo side e%ects are minimal. We are so very grateful for your love and prayers. It is the best Christmas gi! you can give us! #at is not to say that we always live in victory. Some days are hard, very hard. Still whether the days are easy or hard “our God is with us”.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

77

Also, Dear Ones, please join us in prayer for Paul and Lisa Kellogg. Paul is very, very sick and the two of them are spending their Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in the hospital.

You are loved! God is with you!

Don

PS. I $nished the Voyage of the Dawn Treader last week and found one passage about Sir Reepicheep the chivalrous, courageous, 2-foot-tall talking mouse, that is an encouragement to me. I hope it is to you as well. It is a bit long, so I am including it as a postscript.

Toward the end of their voyage to the Utter East and Aslan’s country, the crew of the Dawn Treader were becoming weary of the adventure and the adversity. #ey were grumbling and started to talk of turning back.

“Aren’t you going to say anything, Reep?” whispered Lucy?

“No. Why should your Majesty expect it?” answered Reepicheep in a voice that most people heard. “My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan’s country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise and Peepiceek will be head of the talking mice in Narnia.”

Hear, hear,” said a sailor, “I’ll say the same, barring the bit about the coracle, which wouldn’t bear me.” He added in a lower voice, “I’m not going to be outdone by a mouse.”

Never give up. Onward beloved, to Aslan’s country -- Don

78

Don Butterworth

12/31/2023 – Between Dear Friends and Family, #is New Year’s Eve week has been one of the “between times”. Between Christmas and New Year. Between family visits and more family visits. Between protocols and protocols. Between days getting shorter and days getting longer.

Between endings and beginnings, beginnings and endings.

It’s been a week of dull grey drizzly weather. It wasn’t much fun taking the dog on her walks, most days. But the hearth is burning in our snug, and the Christmas decorations continue to give o% a warm glow. We have been blessed with visits from friends. We have been blessed with avoiding the colds and flu that have afflicted many of our loved ones. Physically we have been more on the puny side than on the healthy side; but puny beats sickly any day. Patti continues to cope with chemo/radiation side e%ects, but they are mostly under control. #ere is no getting around it. It has been our most challenging year. #e cancer diagnosis in January. A brutal chemotherapy regime. Selling our home in the country of 27 years. Retiring from Asbury Seminary a!er 43 years. Moving to Wesley Village. #ese have been hard, life-change-events. At the same time, though, we have had many, many blessed times of fellowship with family and friends. We have felt your love, and your support, and your prayers, and it has lightened our loads, and we are eternally grateful. Best of all, God is with us.

May each of you know His presence, His peace and His love over all of the coming months and years. Never doubt, you are loved!

In His hands, living in hope, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

79

1/7/2024 – Epiphany Dear Family and Friends, It has been a very full week at the bungalow. #e high and holy day of Christmas has come and gone, but for us the celebration stretched into the 12 days of Christmas because some of the family wasn’t able to be here any sooner than this week. #e $rst few days we worked at getting the place spi%ed up for the coming of Christine, Stuart, and Caroline on Wednesday. As always it was a joy to have them come. When they walk through the door, we feel the tensions and burdens lighten.

It was also a joy to have our granddaughter, Sarah, come for a visit for her birthday on #ursday. Some of the presents this year included Slinkies and “cat trees” for our feline loving daughters. Activities included “Blaze Pizza”, Jenga, jigsaw puzzles, and reminiscing about days gone by. #e kids le! Friday morning and Patti’s $rst, new, chemo treatment also started later Friday morning. his treatment is supposed to be more easily tolerated than her $rst protocol. Time will tell. On the positive side, the actual infusion time is much shorter than before. She has been able to keep the nausea at bay, but only because she is routinely taking antinausea meds. Saturday and today she hasn’t slept well, which exacerbates the chemo fatigue. #at, and cold drizzly grey weather, loss of appetite, GI issues, and feeling physically vulnerable makes it hard not to feel discouraged. #is Epiphany Sunday the sermon was about Heaven. It was a welcome reminder that though we must each go through trials here, there is a glorious hope. Andrey Crouch puts it this way in his song “Soon and Very Soon” Should there be any rivers we must cross Should there be any mountains we must climb God will supply all the strength that we need Give us grace till we reach the other side Soon and very soon we are going to see the King No more crying there ... No more dying there ...

80

Don Butterworth

We are going to see the King Steady on, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

81

1/14/2024 - After Christmas Dear Friends and Family, When Christmas is over, and the family has gone home it is hard not to feel a letdown. It is the time to undecorate what you took such great pains to decorate just a few short weeks ago. #is week the tree came down and the reindeer and moose went into their storage container where they are guarding the holy family crèche set. Many of the decorations that didn’t make it up this year found their way to the nearby Goodwill. We couldn’t bring ourselves to put away all the lights, so the outdoor lighted birch trees now surround our covered patio where they will bring us cheer through the dark winter nights. #e lighted garlands, which were the $rst decoration to go up, will be the last to come down sometime before Lent a!er my wrist heals.

Tomorrow I will be going in for carpel tunnel surgery on my right wrist.

A!er about 50 years of using a computer mouse daily for 6 or 7 hours a day, my thumb said, “I’m going to go to sleep now. Don’t bother trying to wake me up.” I miss my thumb being awake, so Dr. Umansky is going to poke it into wakefulness again. I’m not sure how soon I will be able to start typing again, so don’t be overly concerned if, next week, I don’t get an update sent out. #anks for praying!

Friday was to be Patti’s 2nd chemo infusion, but the ANC blood test, which is an indicator of how well your body can $ght o% infection, was just low enough that the chemo was cancelled for the next couple weeks. On the positive side. Patti’s appetite has improved somewhat, as has her GI issues. She still does get fatigued easily.

Because her resistance has been compromised, we’ve been avoiding crowds whenever possible; including going to church services. We’re hoping that this is a temporary setback, because we do, so much, enjoy the fellowship.

Living for Heaven, Don

82

Don Butterworth

1/21/2024 – Watching. Waiting.

Dear Friends and Family, Like many of you we have been living isolated in the deep freeze this last week, which included wind chills of -13 degrees and about 4 inches of total snow here at the Village. #is week Patti has been in a holding pattern, as we wait for the next infusion, on Tuesday the 23rd, assuming her ANC numbers are better this time. It will be two more weeks before we see the oncologist. Still no word from the UK people about clinical trials.

Monday was kind of a circus. I “thought” I was to be operated on, that day, for my carpel tunnel. Turns out it was just an appointment to see the surgeon.

Was I bummed! #ankfully, he was able to work me in on Tuesday. Relief! What a rollercoaster. A!er getting numbed up, the surgery itself took ... do you believe this ... 4 minutes. Slice, poke, snip, stitch, wrap, done. I have had very little pain and have been able to type pretty well. #anks for praying! #is week marks the one-year anniversary of Patti’s diagnosis. I have to say there are times when melancholy descends. Still, we are so thankful for these days to “love on each other” and grow even closer. And we are so thankful for how each of you have supported us and comforted us. And we are so thankful that the Lord has been walking beside us each step of the way. One evidence of this is how many times He has inspired Patti, during her devotional time, to add verses to a poem she has been writing. She calls it, “Come, Lord Jesus, Come”.

Here is the $rst of 21 verses.

Come, Lord Jesus, come. #y holy will be done.

Give us hope, so we can cope, until the battle’s won.

Don

Come, Lord Jesus, come. #y holy will be done.

Bless us with peace.

Our worries cease, until the battle’s won.

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

83

84

Don Butterworth

1/28/2024 – Grey Days Dear Family and Friends, Night has fallen. Patti is making night sounds, as she has dri!ed o% to sleep on the sofa. Other night sounds can be heard even though I’ve taken out my hearing aids. #e dishwasher is splashing. #e $replace fan is whirring, blowing a warm breeze. #e tick, tock, tick, tock of the Regulator clock can be heard faintly. A car alarm is sounding in the distance. #e patter of rain continues to be heard, on these cold, windy, grey, drizzly days. It’s another winter day in Wilmore. #ough we yearn for sunshine and healing, we are thankful for the blessings of a warm home, dear friends and family, good food, a loving church, and even a UK basketball victory this week.

We are also thankful that Patti’s ANC numbers were better, so she was able to have her infusion on Tuesday. She is still dealing with the usual side e%ects of fatigue, occasional nausea, and other GI issues but, so far, they have been manageable. One unexpected side e%ect has been thinning hair. #is is so demoralizing, and we are praying that total hair loss is not going to happen.

We are thankful that Patti has been given the opportunity to apply for acceptance in a clinical trial with the Sarah Cannon Research Institute at Tennessee Oncology. #e plan is for an interview to take place on Monday February 5. It needs to be a one-day trip because her infusion and oncologist appointment is the next day at UK. We are thankful that my carpel tunnel surgery seems to be successful. I still am not supposed to li! anything heavier than 7 pounds for the next 3 weeks so that the wrist tendons can heal and get used to a less restricted environment.

I really only have mild soreness and can type for hours at a time without much of a problem.

We are thankful for the promise of Spring and new life. We are reminded of this when we step out our front door and already crocus, da%odils, and tulips are starting to poke their way to the surface. Grey days do not last forever.

Joy comes in the morning, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

85

2/4/2024 – Oot and Aboot Dear Family & Friends #e grey and dreary cold of two weeks ago morphed into a warm and mostly sunny week. What a relief! It came just in time for a “full social calendar”.

Every day last week Patti was able to be out and about with friends. It is such a blessing to have the health to be able have these outings. Yet, underneath these happy times, there is an undercurrent of anxiety about the appointment with the Sarah Cannon people in Nashville tomorrow.

Even though the mapping so!ware tells us it is a 3-hour drive, our plan is to leave bright and early, so that we can allow for anything unexpected on the way down. It looks like we are going to be blessed with good weather the whole trip. #e appointment itself is scheduled for 2:30 Central Time. Honestly, we don’t know what to expect, and the uncertainty leaves us feeling unsettled.

We are very thankful that one of our longtime friends, Stan, has volunteered to ride shotgun. It is a comfort to know that we will have another driver available should we need one. #anks also to Pat, who will look out for our dog Annie.

We expect to get home around 9:00 PM. #en, Tuesday morning, it is back for a visit with our local oncologist, and an infusion. It looks like it is going to be another eventful week. We are praying that the coming events are encouraging and hopeful.

Always pray and never give up, Luke 18: 1 NLV Don

86

Don Butterworth

2/11/2024 – Nashville Dear friends and family, It’s been a good week. Really, an exceptionally good week. It began with our Monday trip to Nashville to visit the Sarah Cannon Research Institute and meet with Dr. Meredith Pelster. We le! about 8:30 AM, just to be on the safe side. #e sky was blue. #e temperature is unseasonably warm. #e tra&c was light. We even had a slight northerly tailwind. Stan and a cup of full-strength co%ee kept us awake and alert. #e drive was pleasant and uneventful. We found our time at the Institute to be valuable and encouraging. Dr. Pelster believes that there are two kinds of clinical trials that would be well suited for Patti’s condition Briefly, the current “gold standard” chemotherapy that Patti has endured is poison. #e idea is to poison the whole body to kill the cancer, but not so much as to kill the person. #ere’s no getting around it, this is a brutal protocol. #e recommended clinical trials take a di%erent approach. One targets the KRAS gene that regulates cell growth and attempts to kill it without causing major damage to the rest of the body. #e other, immunotherapy, attempts to uncloak the cancer cell so that the body’s own defenses can attack it. At this time neither of these kinds of clinical trials are actively recruiting, but our names are now on the list. Even if there were open trials, we need to continue with the current chemotherapy as long as it appears to be working.

We started our drive home about 4:00 PM and, oh my, talk about tra&c!

Six lane, bumper to bumper, white knuckled driving is not my idea of a good time. A!er the tra&c $nally thinned, we stopped for some fast food and to catch our breath. Stan took over driving the last leg of the journey since he is a “night owl” while Patti and I are both “early birds.” #e eagle landed right around 9:00 PM. Our dog Annie was ecstatic.

8:00 AM Tuesday morning we arrived at the UK Cancer Center for another infusion and an appointment with our oncologist, Dr. Patel. We told her that one of the drugs that had been prescribed to help with Patti neuropathy, was causing sleeplessness. So, she prescribed two other drugs, both of which can cause sleepiness. Bang! No more insomnia. A!er a brief period of adjustment, Patti is feeling much more rested, her mood has improved, her appetite is better, she has gained some weight back, and her GI and nausea issue are being well

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

87

controlled. If we didn’t know any better, you’d think there was nothing wrong, but her CA 19-9 numbers have not come down.

#e rest of the week we both had good energy levels. Friday, we went Valentine shopping and then out for a pre-Valentine’s Day lunch at an upscale restaurant, because one never knows what the next infusion will bring. Today we were blessed to make it to Sunday School and morning worship. We were particularly blessed by Rose’s solo #rough It All by Andre Crouch.

A!er a year of being on the cancer journey, we are so very thankful that Patti’s health is as good as it is. It has been a twisting, winding, up and down road, $lled with potholes, and hazards and blessings. Your love and encouragement have been an amazing blessing! #ank you again for joining Patti, and me, and the Lord on our journey! #rough It All, Don

88

Don Butterworth

2/18/2024 – Savor Dear friends and family, Well, it’s been another good week. #is is due, no doubt in part, to Patti not having an infusion on Tuesday. We le! the house at about 7:00 AM to get to the 7:30 appointment. But by 9:00 her blood work came back and again her levels were too low to continue. #e chemo treatments do a number on the cancer, but they also do a number on the bone marrow, and it now takes longer for the marrow to recover. Other than that, Patti is feeling pretty near normal, and we have been enjoying the unseasonable warm weather, up until the last few days. #is week we entered into the season of Lent that began on Ash Wednesday. Over the next 40 days we try to be mindful of the days leading up to the cruci$xion of Jesus. Many people fast during this time, to help them remember His great sacri$ce. #is year I am taking a route suggested by Magrey deVega, pastor of Hyde Park United Methodist Church, to “savor” the moments.

He suggests savoring each conversation, each bite, each breath, each punchline, each sunset, each beautiful day, each ugly day, every sensation of being alive.

One way I experienced savoring this week was by $nally getting our kitchen spices organized into the rack we bought 4 months ago. Each jar $lled the air with its own spicy pungency, a feast for the senses. My favorite spices, the ones I try to consume o!en, include garlic powder, onion powder, Cylon cinnamon, clove, nigella (aka black cumin) and amla (aka Indian gooseberry) ... say what ... Amla? Black cumin? Yes. #ese spices are very high in antioxidants, polyphenols, and other good stu%. Nigella is peppery and Amla is a little fruity/ citrusy sour/astringent. In India they say that amla can cure everything except death. #ese days Patti and I are striving to savor our time together, snuggling on the sofa, sharing meals, watching UK basketball, going to church, gathering with friends, praying. We want each moment to be an act of gratitude and worship. May the Lord bless all of us on our Lenten journey. May our days be $lled with, Faith, Hope, and Love ... especially Love.

Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

89

2/25/2024 – Renewal Dear family and friends, #is week there has been a Winter/Spring battle taking place in our weather. #ere has been pushing and pulling between cold and warm, sun and clouds, blue and grey, wind and calm, rain and snow. Tonight, there is a full moon, in a cloudless sky, shining through the tree branches into our snug. At this point it looks like Spring is winning, since we had our $rst da%odil blossom in the middle of February! #at’s about 4 weeks early. #e flock of robins that calls Wesley village home, have started to get the nesting urge. #ey can be heard chirping a!er the sun goes down and before the sun comes up. #ey are ready for Spring renewal, and so are we. We are weary of long dark nights, and bone chilling cold. We long for renewal in our bodies and our spirits.

We are thankful that Patti was able to get her chemo infusion on Tuesday. #at, and some of the prescription drugs she is taking, does leave her fatigued at times. But the good news is that the side e%ects continue to be less severe than they were with the $rst course. It continues to be the case that she “feels” normal most days. But it remains to be seen, when she has her next scan a month from now, how well the chemo and supplements are holding the cancer at bay. #e return of spring has been renewing and refreshing to our bodies.

Also, our spirits are being refreshed by the Spring Renewal Services at our church this week. #e speaker is Dr. John Oswalt. #is exceptional scholar and preacher will be bringing messages from the Sermon on the Mount. You can $nd these messages and his class on the Book of Genesis on the Wilmore Free Methodist Church’s YouTube cannel.

Love and Renewal to All, Don

90

Don Butterworth

3/3/2024 – Full Dear friends and family, As we expected, it has been a full week. A very full week. Each day there was at least one special event that we greatly enjoyed. As I mentioned in last week’s post, Sunday through Wednesday, Dr. John Oswalt brought renewal messages from the Sermon on the Mount. #ey were truly inspiring, and many committed themselves to giving the Lord access to every aspect of their lives. #e tears came easily as we watched teenagers, and older adults alike $nd their way to the altar. #ere were several times this week when Patti went out with girlfriends.

On #ursday there was a wonderful concert by members of the Asbury University Women’s Choir and Mixed Choir. You know it’s a new day and age when a Taylor Swi! song is performed at Wesley Village! But it was counterbalanced by the 1925 hit, “Paddlin Madeline Home”.

Saturday, we went with friends to see the Asbury University production of “#e 39 Steps”. It was a hilarious parody of the 1935 spy movie directed by Alfred Hitchcock. #e icing on the cake, that a!ernoon, was watching the Arkansas Razorbacks get shellacked by the U.K. Wildcats.

Like I said, a full week. Filled with lots of fun stu% ... but ... all that activity is exhausting. Most days Patti needed to sneak in a long nap. Fatigue is the condition that she is most challenged by these days. Also, even though there are lots of things to enjoy, during this season of Lent, there is also a lot of heartache that is being endured. It seems like every time we turn around, we hear about friends and loved ones who are having to deal with heavy, heavy burdens. #ank you, dear friends and family, for helping us to carry our burdens for more than a year. Please know, you are also in our prayers.

Keep savoring, Keep loving, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

91

3/10/2024 – Dark, Stormy Dear friends and family, #is week there have been storms. #e winds have been blowing, and the gray skies shedding their tears. #ere have been human tears this week as well; some on the outside, and as my granddaughter once said, “I’m crying on the inside.”

Patti was able to have her infusion on Tuesday. Nearly all of the bloodwork came back in the normal range. But the CA-19 test, the one that is a marker for the level of pancreatic cancer, had risen signi$cantly from 14,000 to 24,000 since the last test about a month ago. #is tells us that the chemo may be slowing the cancer growth, but it is by no means arresting it. #e next PET scan, which is scheduled for the $rst week in April, will tell us how much further the cancer has advanced, and what the next treatment option will be. #is news has us struggling emotionally. #e $rst few days were especially di&cult. #ough we are feeling a bit more settled, it’s going to take more time and prayer to recover our equilibrium, courage, and vision for the future. We do take great solace in the knowledge that the Lord is walking with us through this valley, that He has promised to be with us always, that He has promised to never forsake us, and that He loves us with a love that is greater than any human can comprehend. We also take great solace, knowing how each of you has been praying for us.

Patti’s symptoms continue to be on the mild side. She continues to experience fatigue. She is also now experiencing increased heartburn a!er most meals. She did have a bout with back pain this week that was reminiscent of the pain she was experiencing that drove her to that initial CAT scan 15 months ago.

We are very thankful that the pain was short lived. #e battle belongs to the Lord ...

Victory is sure Don

92

Don Butterworth

3/17/2024 – Quiet Dear friends and family, Just a brief note to let you know that this has been a relatively quiet week. We are still recovering from last week’s emotional gut-punch, but Patti’s physical symptoms continue to be on the mild side. #ere were several events this week that helped to cheer us up.

In honor of St. Patrick’s “week” we attended a performance, at the Village, of a group of Irish dancers, from a Lexington dance school. #e ages of the dancers ranged from about 7 to mid-40s. #ere was lots of joyful music, graceful movement, and flying feet. (Makes my knees and joints hurt just thinking about it) Our goddaughter brought her 2 young’uns for a visit. #at was a real spirit li!er for us. Not so much for our dog Annie, who sat in my lap and panted for most of the time they were here. #e big news of the week is that we became great-grandparents on Wednesday when Calvin Wade Catero was born. Mother and son are doing well. We’ve really been enjoying the newborn baby videos. Bright eyed. Aware.

Handsome. Smart. Watch out world!

Finally, we were again blessed to have Christine and Stuart visit this weekend. Such a comfort.

God is good ...

Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

Prayer of St Patrick: Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my le!, Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise, Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of every one who speaks to me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

Salvation is of the Lord.

Salvation is of the Christ.

May your salvation, Lord, be ever with us.

93

94

Don Butterworth

3/24/2024 – Palm Day Dear friends and family, As is typical, infusion weeks are characterized by alternating days of weakness and energy. #ose days when weakness is present, it is hard not to feel discouraged, even when Patti’s physical symptoms continue to be on the mild side. #ankfully, one of her more energetic days was today, Palm Day. “Don, don’t you mean Palm Sunday?” Not according to one youngster who answered the question, “What day is it today?” at the beginning of the children’s sermon.

Today’s children’s sermon emphasized how, in Jesus’s day the people honored Him by laying palm fronds and even their own garments on the path as He was riding up to Jerusalem. #e teacher then asked the children, “What would you do to welcome Jesus?” Without hesitation, one little girl instantly said, “I’d give Him a big hug!” A big hug. As tears welled up in my eyes, I asked myself, “Why isn’t that the $rst thing that I thought of?” A big hug. “Unless you become like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven.”

Hug Jesus, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

95

4/7/2024 – Trials Dear friends and family, “... count it all joy when you fall into various trials ...” James 1:2 (NKJV).

It appears, beloved, that we will be given the opportunity to attempt to live out this scripture over the coming months. We expect the coming months to be very, very challenging. #e CAT scan on Monday con$rmed what we expected from the CA19 blood test. #e cancer continues to advance in the pancreas, liver and lungs.

Because of that, Dr. Patel has stopped the chemo that Patti was on and has contacted the Sarah Cannon Center in Nashville to try to get her into a clinical trial. We were contacted by the Center on Friday, con$rming that the request has been received and that we can expect to be contacted sometime next week to give us details about what trials, if any, that Patti quali$es for.

One of the requirements to be part of a trial is to be o% chemo, some medications, supplements and treatments for 4 weeks. #e last chemo was given 3 weeks ago, so technically she should be able to start a new treatment around April 15, if one is available. But we are awaiting further information from the Center to see exactly what medication, supplements, etc. that Patti has been taking will need to be stopped. It will require some days in Nashville once the trial is initiated.

Patti continues to experience little side e%ects from the cancer, but she continues to deal with episodes of reflux and lately she has been experiencing pretty signi$cant back pain.

When we are strong, we remind ourselves that Patti was not eligible to be part of a clinical trial, until the point was reached where the prescribed chemo was no longer working. Now we can have at least some hope of $nding a treatment that is better than the standard protocol. But there are some days when the mountain seems impossibly steep. It is especially on those days ... and nights ... when we rely on your prayers to li! us up and keep us moving forward.

In the battle, Don

96

Don Butterworth

3/31/2024 – Forgiving/Forgive Dear family and friends, It has been a good Holy Week. Patti symptoms have remained stable.

Her days of activities are usually followed by days of rest and recovery, and that was the pattern, again, this week. We are experimenting with some new therapy initiatives including drinking water that is more alkaline, some new supplements, and using a nebulizer to try to increase blood oxygenation. Tomorrow is the big CT scan that we have been anticipating, then on Tuesday we expect there will be another infusion. Yes, we are experiencing some scanxiety.

On the plus side, we were able to celebrate two birthdays this week ... outdoors ... in beautiful Spring weather. #at was a blessing! In my heart, today, I am also celebrating what would have been my mother’s 111th birthday. Having a birthday on Easter Sunday. What a privilege! #e da%odils in the front of the house have $nally lost all of their blooms so, to keep the flowers coming, I bought a bunch of perennials on Friday. Saturday, I spent a good part of the day spi&ng up the back porch, digging up sod, and digging holes. It was a 3-bupropion day.

Today is Easter Sunday, the holiest of days for the Christian. In preparation for the coming services, I was sur$ng YouTube and came upon the Gaither song, “Because He Lives.” #e chorus goes: Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

Because He lives, All fear is gone!

Because I know He holds the future And life is worth the living just because He lives!

We are clinging to these words today, and for the months to come.

Also, during Holy Week I have been meditating on forgiveness. Here are some of Jesus’ words.

On the Mountain: ... and forgive us our debts, as we forgive those who are indebted to us.

In the Classroom:

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

How o!en should be we forgive? Up to seven times? ... up to seventy times seven!

On the Cross:

... Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.

Forgiven, Don

97

98

Don Butterworth

4/14/2024 – Soggy, weary, waiting Dear friends and family, It has been another week of grey and rain. Just when you think Spring has arrived nature decides to serve up cold, wet and windy. #ankfully, yesterday and today have given us a reprieve for a couple of days.

We did hear back from Sarah Cannon Center earlier this week. #ey are recommending Patti be entered in a trial involving the immunotherapy drug ASP1570 in combination with Pembrolizumab. #ey sent a multipage document for us to review. It brought up some questions that we sent back to them, and they have yet to respond. Hopefully they will get back to us early next week. If we go this route, we need to get the show on the road ASAP. Meanwhile, Patti is continuing with non-traditional therapy.

Symptom-wise her back pain continues. It feels just like the pain that drove her to the doctor when the cancer was $rst discovered. We can’t help thinking it is cancer related since it has reappeared since discontinuing the chemo. She is also experiencing a lot of fatigue. #ese two symptoms combine to produce a weariness of both body and spirit, in both of us.

In an attempt to cheer us both up, I have been trying to bring lots of flowers into our world. Yesterday I spent a big part of the day putting in some hardscape to the front of the bungalow and planting flowing perennials. I was bone weary last night. #ere is still more to do, but it is starting to take shape.

Last evening we enjoyed the spicy sweet smell of dianthus, while watching a gardening show.

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps Proverbs 16: 9 (NLT) Weary, Waiting, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

99

4/21/2024 – Struggling Dear friends and family, #e back pain that I reported last week has continued. It seems to start sometime a!er lunch and hangs around into the early evening. It is not constant, but it is persistent. It has been causing Patti to lose sleep, leaving her exhausted and discouraged. It is also steeling her appetite. We’ve tried a strong pain med, but it doesn’t touch this kind of pain. #is weekend she has gotten a bit more rest and has found that a combination of ibuprofen and heat helps some. It has been a week of struggling.

Next week promises to be another exhausting week. Monday we will drive to Nashville to be ready to start the clinal trial admission process on Tuesday. Tuesday’s agenda is to do paperwork and lab work. Wednesday, she is scheduled for a biopsy, a requirement of the trial. We will stay overnight and head home early #ursday. While there we will certainly work with the physicians to address the pain issue.

Let me just say, these have been days of struggle for me as well. It is your support and prayers that help us both put one foot in front of the other. #e Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?

Proverbs 20: 24 (NLT) Trusting, one step at a time, Don

100

Don Butterworth

5/3/2024 – Unqualified Dear friends and family, I am sorry to have missed my usual Sunday update. We were in Nashville at the Sarah Cannon Center, and I was without a keyboard. Unlike younger generations I’m no good at thumb typing. We drove back to Wilmore yesterday with grieving hearts.

Beloved, the news is not what we had hoped for. Blood tests revealed that two markers did not reach the level necessary to meet admission criteria.

We opted to stay an extra three days to see if we could get these levels up, but this time yet another marker didn’t reach the necessary level. Admission criterias are strict, and it is extremely unlikely that Patti would be able to qualify for any trials given her weakening condition. A new CT scan revealed that the cancer is continuing to advance.

Our next step will focus on pain management and quality of life. Patti’s back pain continues, and it is proving di&cult to get under control. Oxycodone, really anything that ends in “one”, causes nausea, plus all narcotics slow down the gut, causing GI complications. Prior to our trip to Nashville the folks at UK tried a fentanyl patch. #is proved disastrous, producing intoxication-like side e%ects that she is still recovering from. We are now trying morphine. But it causes extreme sleepiness and more GI issues. #e pain management specialist at Sarah Davidson recommended a “synthetic” narcotic that we have not yet tried. We will be pursuing this and other options, with the UK pain management people, over the coming days. #ese are hard days. Very hard. We are so thankful for how you faithfully walk with us. #ough our hearts are very heavy, we do not “grieve like people who have no hope.”

In Hope, Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

101

5/12/2024 - Hospice Dear friends and family, A!er our appointment with the UK oncologist on Monday, we reached the decision to bring in hospice. Patti is now on 3 di%erent kinds of pain meds that mostly keep the pain at a tolerable level. But this is a moving target. What may work today may not work tomorrow, and with each increased dose comes increased side e%ects. #ese days she is very weak and has little appetite or desire for liquids. One med makes her limbs feel like lead. One med makes her want to go to sleep while the other one makes her restless. Her eye hand coordination is much diminished. Her concentration level is low and she experiences some disorientation. #ankfully, she is still in her right mind and able to communicate. #e hands on the clock are moving very slowly these days.

A huge blessing last week was how she was able to make it to the $nal Bible Study of the season with her sisters at church, in a wheelchair. Everyone was shocked and ecstatic to see her and I know it did her spirit a lot of good to be there. A small blessing this week was a wren couple taking up housekeeping in our empty wren house on the porch. #ey have been busy building their nest and singing “Joy to the World” for several days. Another huge blessing was having Christine and Stuart come for Mother’s Day weekend. It gave them a chance to pour out their love for us and it was a wonderful respite for me. Christine is planning to come down again next Friday for the weekend.

We are going to be relying on hospice more and more in the coming days. We are especially thankful that Diane Munoz will be our chaplain. She’s terri$c! We don’t really know what the coming days are going to be like or how many are le! before Patti goes to heaven and gets to see Jesus face to face. But she is longing for that day. As for me, you can imagine how my heart breaks to see her su%er and only be able to give her a gentle touch and another pill. My theme song these days is: Precious Lord, take my hand.

Lead me on, help me stand.

I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.

102

Don Butterworth

#rough the storm, through the night, Lead me on to the light.

Take my hand, precious Lord. Lead me home.

Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

103

5/14/2024 – Go Down Death “#e original of this poem is by James Weldon Johnson (1871-1928), an African-American Poet. #is poem has been altered to change the name Caroline to Patti and the geographical references from Georgia to Wilmore, Kentucky as a reflection upon the grief of her husband.”

My Beloved Family and Friends, At 4:50 PM today Patti went to be in the arms of Jesus Weep not, weep not, She is not dead; She’s resting in the bosom of Jesus.

Heart-broken husband--weep no more; Grief-stricken son--weep no more; Le!-lonesome daughter --weep no more; She only just gone home.

Day before yesterday morning, God was looking down from his great, high heaven, Looking down on all his children, And his eye fell on Sister Patti, Tossing on her bed of pain.

And God’s big heart was touched with pity, With the everlasting pity.

And God sat back on his throne, And he commanded that tall, bright angel standing at his right hand: Call me Death!

104

Don Butterworth

And that tall, bright angel cried in a voice #at broke like a clap of thunder: Call Death!--Call Death!

And the echo sounded down the streets of heaven Till it reached away back to that shadowy place, Where Death waits with his pale, white horses.

And Death heard the summons, And he leaped on his fastest horse, Pale as a sheet in the moonlight.

Up the golden street Death galloped, And the hooves of his horses struck $re from the gold, But they didn’t make no sound.

Up Death rode to the Great White #rone, And waited for God’s command.

And God said: Go down, Death, go down, Go down to Kentucky, Down in Wilmore, And $nd Sister Patti.

She’s borne the burden and heat of the day, She’s labored long in my vineyard, And she’s tired-She’s weary-Go down, Death, and bring her to me.

And Death didn’t say a word,

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

But he loosed the reins on his pale, white horse,

And he clamped the spurs to his bloodless sides, And out and down he rode, #rough heaven’s pearly gates, Past suns and moons and stars; on Death rode, Leaving the lightning’s flash behind; Straight down he came.

While we were watching round her bed, She turned her eyes and looked away, She saw what we couldn’t see; She saw Old Death. She saw Old Death Coming like a falling star.

But Death didn’t frighten Sister Patti; He looked to her like a welcome friend.

And she whispered to us: I’m going home, And she smiled and closed her eyes.

And Death took her up like a baby, And she lay in his icy arms, But she didn’t feel no chill.

And death began to ride again-Up beyond the evening star, Into the glittering light of glory, On to the Great White #rone.

And there he laid Sister Patti

105

106

Don Butterworth

On the loving breast of Jesus.

And Jesus took his own hand and wiped away her tears, And he smoothed the furrows from her face, And the angels sang a little song, And Jesus rocked her in his arms, And kept a-saying: Take your rest, Take your rest.

Weep not--weep not, She is not dead; She’s resting in the bosom of Jesus.

Heartbroken but rejoicing Don

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

107

5/16/2024 – Services and Obituary Dear Friends and Family, I wanted to let everyone know the latest plans for Patti’s burial and memorial service. Tuesday, May 21, at 10:00am we will have an internment service at the Wilmore Cemetery. All the family and an invited number of friends are invited to attend. At that service a time will be set aside to o%er brief words of tribute. #e memorial service is scheduled to begin at 1:00pm, a musical prelude will begin at 12:45. #ere will not be a time of visitation prior to the service. A!er the service attendees will be invited to Building C for a time of fellowship and ice cream. #at is when we will have a time of visitation. It’s a little di%erent, but Patti wanted everyone to have fun and fellowship at her passing. Isn’t that just like her?

Below is the obituary that Christine and Amy composed for their momma.

Patricia Louise Butterworth was born December 5th, 1948, in Highland, Illinois to parents Howard Ellsworth Harford and Norma Louise Wise Wilson.

She passed away peacefully in her home in Wilmore, Kentucky on May 14th, 2024. She is survived by her husband Donald Butterworth, her 2 children and their families: Daughter, Amy Camuglia, her husband Joseph Camuglia, grandchildren- Nicholas Catero, his wife Bridget Wade and their son, Calvin Wade; Sarah Catero, Rebecca Camuglia and her son #eo Hamilton, Christopher Camuglia, and Heather Camuglia; daughter, Christine Erny, her husband Stuart Erny, their children Wesley Erny and his wife Savannah Erny and great grandson Chase Couch, Luke Erny, and Caroline Erny; brother Jon Harford and his wife Suzanne Harford and their boys Matthew Harford and Danny Harford.

Devoted Wife Patricia (Patti) and Donald (Don) were married June 18, 1977. Together, they raised Amy and Christine and made a life for themselves in Wilmore, Kentucky. #ey were truly partners in life and it was rare that they would be

108

Don Butterworth

away from each other for more than a day or two at a time (and even that was rare).

Mother of Amy and Christine Patti, Amy and Christine are the ones who have been together from the very beginning. #ey bonded in an extraordinary way when it was just the three of them, before Patti met and married Don. In recent years the three of them developed a daily chat/face-time/phone call routine that kept them close and connected to the very end.

Salt of the Earth Patti was most in her element when serving others and lived into this passion in a variety of ways. From working in the local school as a special education para to faithfully serving for decades in the church nursery and on the welcoming committee. She o!en befriended those who were going through a rough time and needed some extra support. It was the daily kindnesses and thoughtful gestures that meant so much to so many.

Flower Power Another passion of Patti’s was the vegetable, flower and herb gardens that she and Don cultivated together. When visiting her home during the Spring, Summer and Fall, you could count on fresh-cut flowers adorning the tables and countertops of her home. When she came to visit, you could expect the gi! of fresh flowers or vegetables from her garden. Her gardening gloves and tools, typically seen on the front porch, were symbols of her love for God’s green earth.

Wild Woman Patti had a wild side…especially when with her grandkids and other kids she took under her wing. One classic example is when she, along with the grandchildren, went sledding down the hill on their property on flattened cardboard boxes. Patti was over 50 at the time! Another example is when she traveled by herself to Kathmandu, Nepal (her $rst time out of the country) to be with Christine and Stu and to help Christine usher her baby boy Luke into the world. She weathered the rustic living conditions like a seasoned adventurer!

Lover of Jesus

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

109

Patti’s life was a living testament to the words of Jesus: #e greatest among you will be your servant (Matt. 23:11) In this sense, she was truly great.

She chose to follow Jesus at a young age, and she never looked back. Her faith is what carried her through the highs and lows of life and it is what allowed her to walk through the valley, since her cancer diagnosis just over a year ago, with such grace, hope and optimism. One of her favorite songs was Fernando Ortega’s “Give Me Jesus.” #e $nal verse now rings especially true: When I come to die When I come to die When I come to die, give me Jesus (In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in honor of Patti can be sent to Evangelism Resources, 425 Epworth Avenue, Wilmore, KY 40390)

110

Don Butterworth

5/19/2024 – Last Hours and Funeral Plans Dear friends and family, Just a few details you might want to know about Patti’s $nal days.

On Monday, I needed to run a couple of errands in Lexington, so I asked a friend, Rosie Cooper, to come and stay with Patti for a few hours. A!er $xing her breakfast, I le! them talking in the family room. About 11:00 Rosie called to say Patti’s pain level had risen signi$cantly and asked if she could give her another pill. I said yes, but it wasn’t nearly enough. By the time I got home she was in severe pain, and I called in the hospice nurse. It took several hours to receive permission from the physician to increase the dosage. It took even longer to get a time released morphine prescription $lled and administered. It was close to 8:00 before the pain level was brought to a tolerable level.

She got more meds through the night, but they still didn’t take away all the pain, and she was very restless. I $nally got her settled in bed around 3:00am.

In the morning, we called in hospice again to try to get the pain more controlled.

She was so heavily medicated Tuesday that she could hardly move in bed. Amy, Bonnie, our godchildren, Rosie, and Cindy Peterson all came in the morning to tell Patti how much they loved her, and she was able to recognize and speak to them. Cindy, who has had experience with multiple relatives passing, stayed to help me watch and care for her. About 4:30 her breathing changed and a short time later she went to be with our Savior.

Hospice came and helped prepare her mortal body, for transport to Betts and West Funeral home. #e next day, Christine returned from Indiana and stayed with me. Stuart was able to come on Friday. Having the support of family and friends during this time has been very much needed and appreciated. It is now day 5 days since Patti went home to Glory. We believe that everything is now arranged for the interment and memorial services. We are so blessed to be surrounded by a loving caring community!

Tuesday, May 21st at 10:00am there will be a graveside service at the Wilmore Cemetery. A number of local friends and family have been invited to this service and anyone who has traveled from out of the area is welcome to attend. A memorial service will begin at 1:00pm and immediately following the

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

111

service, everyone is invited to a time of fellowship in building C. Patti wanted everyone to have ice cream and fellowship, so that is what we are doing! #at is also when the family will greet and grieve and hug and reminisce about the joys of being part of Patti’s life well lived.

In HIS presence, Don

112

Don Butterworth

5/26/2024 – All !ings New Dear friends and family, I have to admit it. I am disoriented to time these days. Somehow it doesn’t seem possible that Patti’s internment and memorial service happened less than a week ago. It feels like it’s been much longer. It also doesn’t seem possible that it has already been almost two weeks since Patti went to Heaven. It seems like only a few days ago that she was sitting on the sofa, in our snug, celebrating Mother’s Day with the family. Time is a mystery.

Turning to Tuesday’s events, the services and the social turned out to be even better than I had hoped. #e pastors, the musicians, the participants, the servers, and the congregation were all magni$cent. #e sense of all embracing love was palpable. Patti and her Lord were truly and beautifully honored. #e way that everyone contributed, and the way that so many reached out in love to me and our family, has been inspiring and deeply comforting.

As I le! the sanctuary a!er the memorial service, I was surprised to see the church $lled to capacity. If Patti had been there, I’m sure she would have said in that humble way of her’s, “Oh, this is just too much.” But it really wasn’t. It was the fruit of a life $lled to the brim with love and service. She was a blessing to everyone, and I have been doubly blessed. THANK YOU, to those who attended and/or who have watched the service on the Wilmore Free Methodist YouTube channel. And especially, THANK YOU, to those who have supported us, and loved us, and prayed for us on this 17-month journey.

As for me, the sobbing attacks are now fewer and farther between. I try to keep busy with library work and chores. Keeping busy helps distract from the silence and the emptiness. It is very much a new time, but new doesn’t mean easy. Your continued prayers on my behalf are very much appreciated! #is is the last report that I will be writing with the caption Patti’s and Don’s Journey. Beginning next week, I will start writing Don’s Reflections. I will send it to family and a few friends and to anyone who speci$cally asks to be included. I will not be sending it out to everyone on this mailing list. Rich blessings be upon all of you!

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

113

Sundays are the hardest days for me. So o!en the church music and scriptures bring tears to my eyes. #ere was a lot of music at this Sunday’s evening service presented by the Youth Choir. One verse particularly stood out to me as a word that Patti would have wanted you to leave with. It is from the hymn #ere Is a Fountain.

Redeeming Love has been my theme, And shall be till I die.

With a grateful, broken heart, Don

114

Don Butterworth

1/14/2025 – Epilogue Dear friends and family, It is di&cult to know just how much to include in this $nal reflection.

I have come to greatly appreciate the work of our medical community. Each of the doctors, nurses and other medical personnel that we worked with were compassionate and $lled with the desire to bring healing. But as I did my own personal research into cancer, it is clear to me that they are not being trained in the areas of Metabolic #erapy and Nutrition.

Chemotherapy essentially uses chemicals to poison cancer. Sadly, there is no protocol that includes attempting to starve cancer. #e fact that such protocols as “Press/Pulse #erapy” are not being widely explored is a travesty that could easily devolve into a rant. But that should not be our last topic.

As I compose these $nal reflections, that I never wanted to learn about or write about, it has been exactly 8 months since Patti’s heavenly birthday. #ere will likely be tears sometime today. #ere is something about the 14th day of the month that brings sadness now. I’ll be wondering why I feel so down, then I’ll look at the calendar and realize, “Oh yes. #at why. #e body remembers even when the mind is elsewhere.

A!er 8 months I can report that I am healing, but it is not the kind of healing that happens a!er an infection. It is the kind of healing that occurs a!er an amputation. #e bleeding stops. #e scars form. But the emptiness is ever present and there are times of pain. Some pains are sharp, like when all of her clothes were removed from our closet. Some are tiny stings, like ordering checks with only your name on them. #en there are the times when the sense of loss simply overwhelms you and you are ambushed by an innocent event or activity. #e greater the love #e greater the loss Love greatly anyway #ere is no escaping anger, grief and pain. Use the anger as motivation to $ght against our great Enemy. Don’t waste the pain. #ese reflections are

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

115

shared with you in that spirit. It is my sincere hope that the words will be an encouragement and a comfort to you on your own journey.

116

Don Butterworth

Appendix A. Recipes Crusty White Bread (forgiving!)

2 Packages active dry yeast (4 ( tsp) 2 cups warm water (100-110) 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon table salt ) cup light olive or avocado oil 2 cups organic whole wheat flour 2 to 3 cups organic all-purpose flour

Directions: 1. Dissolve 2 packages (or 4 ( tsp) of yeast, and 1 tbs of sugar, in 2 cups of warm water (100-110 degrees) and let rest under a towel for 5 minutes.

2. In your electric mixer’s mixing bowl add: 1 cup whole wheat flour, 1 tbs sugar, 2 tsp salt, ) cup oil. Mix lightly and add yeast mixture. Continue mixing until smooth.

3. Add one more cup of whole wheat flour and mix until smooth.

4. Add one cup of all-purpose flour and mix until smooth. Add one more cup of all-purpose flower and mix until smooth. You may want to add a “little” more flour if the dough is still very sticky because of damp weather conditions. hook.

5. Using your mixer, knead for 8 minutes on low speed using the dough

Pancreatic Cancer Journey |

117

6. Turn dough out on a lightly flowered surface and knead in additional flour until the dough is no longer sticky. It should feel so! and supple but also elastic (holds its shape and pulls back together)

7. Form dough into a smooth ball and place in a well-oiled bowl; brush top with oil; cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 45 minutes.

(Bowl can be placed over warm water) (Dough is ready if you poke it with a $nger and an impression remains) 8. Punch down dough.

9. Divide dough into 9 equal size balls and roll each ball into a 9 inch rope. Make 3 loaves by braiding 3 ropes together, and place on an oiled baking sheet.

10. Cover and let rise for 30 to 40 minutes Heat oven to 400 (fan) 11. Bake for about 15 to 20 minutes on an oiled baking sheet. You will need to experiment with the best oven rack to use based on your oven. Start in the middle and work down. Brush $nished loaves with oil.

12. Move to a wire rack and rest at least 15 minutes before slicing.

118

About First Fruits Press Under the auspices of B. L. Fisher Library, First Fruits Press is an online publishing arm of Asbury Theological Seminary. The goal is to make academic material freely available to scholars worldwide, and to share rare and valuable resources that would not otherwise be available for research. First Fruits publishes in five distinct areas: heritage materials, academic books, papers, books, and journals.

In the Journals section, back issues of The Asbury Journal will be digitized and so made available to a global audience. At the same time, we are excited to be working with several faculty members on developing professional, peer-reviewed, online journals that would be made freely available.

Much of this endeavor is made possible by the recent gift of the Kabis III scanner, one of the best available. The scanner can produce more than 2,900 pages an hour and features a special book cradle that is specifically designed to protect rare and fragile materials. The materials it produces will be available in ebook format, easy to download and search.

First Fruits Press will enable the library to share scholarly resources throughout the world, provide faculty with a platform to share their own work and engage scholars without the difficulties often encountered by print publishing. All the material will be freely available for online users, while those who wish to purchase a print copy for their libraries will be able to do so. First Fruits Press is just one way the B. L. Fisher Library is fulfilling the global vision of Asbury Theological Seminary to spread scriptural holiness throughout the world.

asbury.to/firstfruits