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Grin and bear it

The ‘gay cake’ row that has kept lawyers in lavish lifestyles for the past seven years has ended with the European Court of Human Rights ruling against gay rights activist Gareth Lee.

Lee started legal proceedings way back in 2014 after Ashers, a Belfast bakery, refused to bake him a cake with a “Support Gay Marriage” message on it.

We’re not about to get into the rights and wrongs of the case but spare a thought for the couple at the centre of the row.

No, not Amy and Daniel McArthur, the owners of the Ashers who said the cake was “at odds” with their Christian beliefs, but Bert and Ernie, the Sesame Street characters who featured in the design.

Not only have their image rights been trampled on, but the latest ruling once again thrusts the hapless duo’s sexuality into the spotlight.

There has long been speculation that Bert and Ernie are a gay couple. This despite them sleeping in separate beds – unlike Morecambe and Wise, and Laurel and Hardy.

Lee should have stayed closer to home when researching potentially gay puppets. In the long-running ITV children’s show which just happened to be called Rainbow, not only did George and Zippy bunk down in the same bed, but they shared it with Bungle.

And, according to Bungle’s Grindr profile, he’s a bear.

GIVE CHEESE A CHANCE

What with North Korea conducting ballistic missile tests, Russian troops massing on its border with Ukraine, and Serbia set to declare war on Australia over a tennis player, Norway has entered the world stage offering what probably won’t be known as“brown cheese diplomacy”.

The Scandinavian country took over the UN Security Council’s presidency at the start of January and, as custom dictates, presented a symbolic gift to the other member states.

This consisted of some Gubrandsdalsost – a traditional Norwegian brown caramel cheese. And, thoughtfully, a cheese slicer.

Gubrandsdalsost translates as “the cheese that comes from Gudbrands Valley” so it’s little wonder

it’s sold as ‘Ski Queen’ in the US.

Now, TWIR isn’t suggesting for a minute that Ski Queen is going to reduce tensions in eastern Europe. However, it’s well known that Kim Jong-Un picked up a fondness for Emmental during his schooldays in Switzerland. Perhaps a block or two of brown caramel cheese would be enough to persuade the notoriously sweet-toothed dictator to stop lobbing flying bombs into the atmosphere.