“This can´t be good”, I told myself. I felt distracted and had difficulty concentrating on one task at a time, starting something only to get up and leave it and take on something else, only to leave that. I was chasing squirrels, with lots of starts and no finishes – and that wasn´t really me. Interestingly, a friend called one evening and asked if I too was experiencing “mush head”, as she called it, noticing that she was going nowhere fast (Yay, I had company!). A bit concerned, we Googled the “symptoms” to make sure that we didn´t have brain worms or anything, and were relieved to find that probably was not the case. Wanting to exclude any further medical possibilities for my fogginess, I tootled off to my doctor and after discussion, exam and bloodwork, the diagnosis was “it´s just stress - you and everyone else”. Relieved that my missing time was most likely not due to alien abduction, I embarked on finding how to get myself better, to “just relax” as the doctor told me, and stop my self-sabotaging, worrying ways. Now that there was an explanation of what was wrong it was time to explore the “Why”, and the culprit was glaringly obvious. By all counts, the year 2020 was a stinker,
My Journey Through a Fog Bank
and without having to make that in to any more of a moan fest than it already has been, we can all admit that it has effected everyone, everywhere, in some way or another. I thought I was handling it all well, until the focus thing, which made me realize that I had allowed a “bug” to bypass the op-
By Didi Arias
erating system security and enter my moth-
Illustration by the author
erboard, messing up my circuitry with overwhelm and distraction. Of course fear, worry and uncertainty can all cause anxiety, and in
Midway through 2020 there was the first
It also seemed that very little progress was
my case, that was topped off by experienc-
giveaway that something was off when I
being made on my “To Do” list: day after day
ing several personal life issues that added to
noticed that my days seemed to be ending
it was sneering at me, growing longer. Not
the stress with the recent loss of my mother,
sooner than they should have, with evening
only was there the feeling of getting little ac-
not being able to teach (due to my country,
chores, dinner, and bedtime rolling around
complished, I was also forgetful, frequently
Spain, having one of the strictest in-home
before I felt I even got started. That was
walking in to rooms without remembering
lockdowns on the planet), and being physi-
odd because it was summer and our day-
why; my cell phone even had a brief stay in
cally limited due to recent injury. So it was
light hours here in southern Spain are long.
the fridge.
no mom, no work and no exercise - a three
Winter 2020/21 | Riding Instructor
21
