CAREGIVER CORNER
LESSONS LEARNED ON THE CAREGIVER RIVER My journey on the Caregiver River started in rough water and became increasingly more challenging until I was out of the raft altogether and almost completely submerged. As I reflect on the last seven years, I see the experience as a crystal-clear rite of passage. I was wholly unprepared when I started this adventure. I had no rafting skills, had not secured a guide, and had no real supplies. I was capable and resourceful. How hard could it be? It was hard. At one point early in the journey, I was hanging on to the raft, well not hanging on; I had one hand on the guiderope, feet dragging as the swift water rushed past and the boat bounced from boulder to boulder and over drops. I was about to lose my grip and somehow didn’t. I climbed back into the raft, and eventually, the waters calmed. I learned a few skills and began to navigate the river with more confidence. The river didn’t change. There were still rapids, rocks, twists, and turns. I knew waterfalls were on the horizon, but I knew that I would be okay.
A FEW LESSONS LEARNED DURING MY EXPEDITION ON THE CAREGIVER RIVER: Float With the Flow
This river had a destination, and I initially resisted the current. I paddled upstream and when I did move with the current, downed limbs and boulders often blocked my path. I eventually, stopped resisting the river’s flow and focused on navigating. I developed skills such as mindfulness and setting boundaries. I learned to read the water and prepare for the challenges ahead. I managed the swift water stress in healthier ways. Release your fear of the future and flow with the river from the present moment. The river offers a renewable source of energy that will sustain you on the journey.
Waterfalls Lead to Rainbows
The most challenging aspects of the caregiver river led to the greatest gifts. The gift may have been a lesson, a revelation, a new traveling companion, or a new perspective. Journaling helped me process caregiving’s complexities, emotions, fear, and confusion. 26
Aging Times Magazine | September 2021
Writing offered a release and reprieve from the swirling sensations. Let your thoughts and words flow like a raging river, a gentle stream, or a waterfall spilling and splashing onto the page. Within the words, you may find the reward.
Expeditions Require Stamina
In the early days of caregiving, I forged ahead with force and willpower. As I prioritized Dad’s health and safety, I neglected my own well-being until I felt like an empty shell with nothing left to give. When I made self-care a priority, I felt whole again and began to navigate the river with confidence. What replenishes your power? Develop a routine that prioritizes your well-being and includes your passions reimagined to fit within your new reality.
Flow From the Present Moment
In the beginning, I spent a lot of time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. Through meditation and mindfulness, I cultivated awareness and learned to meet myself where I was. I leaned into the uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them and learned to embrace them with openness and curiosity. Whether you are in a raging river or a meandering creek, you will experience vitality when you tap into the source of the river’s power and grace. The gifts are found in the present moment.
Create a Sustainable Ecosystem
We float along on the Caregiver River and face struggles that share much in common, and yet, every journey is unique. Even more significant is that each family caregiver is unique, and we must each find a personal course to a meaningful journey. When I identified what sustained me and prioritized my well-being, I created an ecosystem that provided physical and emotional support and adapted to ever-changing circumstances and needs. Construct a solid yet fluid customized Caregiver Support System. Establish your foundation and cornerstone. Piece together your support system with your unique building blocks and infrastructure components.
