Jersey Weekly Issue - 112

Issue 112 Friday, 23rd December 2011

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Why the change?

FIRSTLY, THANK YOU for getting this far and picking up a Jersey Weekly to read.

That support has kept us going so this long - you’re our kind of reader!

We started Jersey Weekly over 2 years ago and since launching as a free magazine we seem to have confirmed what we first suspected – that Jersey does like having an up-to-date weekly guide full of the latest local information.

In fact it’s become so popular that you will notice, it comes out each Thursday/Friday and, if you don’t get a copy by Monday, all the stands are empty - the thousands of copies given away for free are all gone!

So, in fact, it was only free if you were fast enough and lucky enough to get there first, otherwise you’d have to hope you could get a copy the next week. And it’s been even more difficult to get a copy from locations ‘out of Town’.

“Ask the advertisers for more money”, we hear you say! Well, of course we have considered that - but it’s not quite so simple.

In case you hadn’t noticed the economy has slowed, and Jersey has many ‘freesheet’ publications all making increasing demands on decreasing advertising budgets.

Higher marketing costs are passed on to customers, which in turn causes inflation and further slows business or takes money away from other important investments.

We’ve always had a policy of only including informative advertising that readers will find useful each week, so that every page will be interesting to someone.

And we price our advertising much lower than the alternatives because we need advertisers to be able afford long-term relationships, so they trust in us to concentrate on keeping the magazine useful and interesting for you to read each week.

We have even kept the Classifieds section free for individuals so that everyone can see and benefit from having a dedicated weekly advertiser for Jersey.

We have kept adding more and more content as businesses, organisations and

The evolution of Jersey Weekly 23/10/09

11/12/09

05/02/10

JerseyTrader. com launches it’s own 40 page property, vehicles and recruitment advertiser. A summary of the weeks’ upcoming events was included. (Who WAS that guy on the cover?)

Jersey Trader becomes Jersey Weekly, changing the name of both the magazine and the website.

A trickle of property features and local ‘top 10 question’ style interviews have begun to appear.

Jersey Weekly changes its look framed in the now instantly recognisable, yet recently departed, black border.

It is also now printed in a handier smaller B5 format for all to enjoy.

charities have see that Jersey Weekly is the perfect place to spread the word on their activities in Jersey.

So, the only fair answer is to ask you the reader to help us with a small contribution towards the printing costs each week. Which, in return we can use to make sure everyone that wants to can get a copy, and we can continue to invest in independent and insightful journalism, and additional useful content like the TV Guide, What’s On Listings and Sports Listings. And, that helps you to be able to find a copy in all of the shops that you visit each week as part of your routine.

Plus, we’re passionate about our community and raising awareness of local issues; so we’ll be using this new business model to raise money for local charities by donating 10% of the sales EVERY WEEK to a different local charity.

With all this in mind, if you have a cause that you’d like us to include, or any other feedback and requests, please email us on hello@jerseyweekly.com. We are looking forward to bringing you more of what you really want to read about and see each week with ‘something for everyone’.

Thank you again for all your support and helping us grow this magazine for everyone’s enjoyment.

Your loyal team at Jersey Weekly

Where the money goes...

30/09/11

21/10/11

25/11/11

After over a year of printing with our black border.

It finally left us for a fresh new white look.

The magazine now includes all manner of features on local entertainment and more.

Reaching it’s second full year in circulation Jersey Weekly fills a whopping 132 pages every week and has no choice but to go perfect bound including ever more features and a spine.

Issue 108 is the first ever paid for edition of Jersey weekly now including a full 7 Day TV guide along with all our usual articles and more from the small cost of 85p

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

News & Events Find the latest local & national news online anytime at JerseyWeekly.com/news

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Credits This week’s cover features the rink for this year’s Ice Skate Jersey. You can read more on page 24. Photography courtesy of Ian Paine.

Publisher: Larry Adams Editor: Marcus Quinn Assistant Editor Jon Moore Sub Editing & Design: Jason Bourgeois, Tiffany Shales and Agustin. Business Development Manager Mark Bradbury Accounts Sally Johnson.

Websites & Systems: Jamie McKenzie, Ross, Vladimir, Ildar, Alexey, and the open source community.

Photographers: Tom, Dan, Ross, Megan, James, Johnny, Alex, Lauren, Maris, Amy and the rest of the photographers past, present and away that have helped build Jersey Events and capture life’s moments. Contributors: Larry, Elaine, Lucy, Sally, Jen, RIck our sponsors and past employees that have all made their contribution. © 2011 Agent Ltd. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. Whilst all reasonable care is taken with material submitted to Jersey Weekly & Jersey Events, the publisher cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage to such material. All prices are presumed correct at the time of going to press but are subject to change and should be checked. Jersey Weekly cannot be responsible for verifying unsolicited material and as such it will be presumed to be copyright free and the responsibility for notification of copyright shall remain with the contributor. Thank you for respecting creative rights.

‘House Copies’ of this magazine are sent to select businesses each week, to apply your house copy please email us.

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Local News Roundup Words by Jen Smith from Channel 103, news@jerseyweekly.com

Batten down the hatches Last week it seemed we couldn’t escape a storm. 70mph winds, heavy rain and spring tides combined to cause havoc across the Island.

Fallen trees, flooded roads and a large trampoline blocking a route in St Ouen were just some of the fallout.

Emergency services and TTS officers were ‘stretched’ dealing with the aftermath of the wind.

Many major routes including Queens Road, St Peters Valley and La Route De La Haule flooded.

Police dealt with fallen trees in most parishes and in St Helier, a home in Wellington Hill suffered water damage after drains blocked with debris.

Commuters found Victoria Avenue tough going when Spring tides combined with the stormy weather on Monday night/early morning Tuesday.

And tree surgeons were out in force tackling debris on many on minor parish roads.

A super future It was revealed last week that the Island would soon have access to superfast broadband.

JT have been loaned £19 million by the States to replace Jersey’s copper telephone network with fibre-optic cables.

It means superfast speeds of up to one Gigabit can be rolled out beginning with a trial next month.

Assistant Treasury Minister Deputy Eddie Noel reckons it’ll put Jersey on the map.

“There’s not going to be a digital divide, everyone will have access across the whole Island, which will make us one of the few places in the world where this is possible.

population has decreased.

We will start having availability in some of the parishes in 2012 and the final homes will be connected in about 5 years.”

In the last ten years, 6,800 people have moved to Jersey and 4,100 Jersey-born have left.

Biggest CI building ever gets go ahead The Planning Minister Rob Duhamel has allowed the biggest single building ever to be built in the Channel Islands to be created in the centre of town.

Six floors of office space, shops and restaurants will take up more than 260,000 square feet between Broad Street and Commercial Street.

A new ‘covered’ street will need to be created to accommodate the development.

Le Masurier are behind the £150 million scheme that Deputy Duhamel said will provide a boost to the construction industry.

Chief Officer at Planning Andrew Scate told Channel 103 the developers would be mindful of the historical character of the area: “It’s certainly in line with the Island Plan.

Clearly there were some heritage issues to balance up; some of the old listed buildings will have to go to make way for this scheme.

But on the whole we think this is good for St Helier and good for the economy”.

Jersey’s Diverse Population

JT - who control the Island’s communications network - are involving 500 Islanders in a trial starting on January the 3rd.

Half of the population of Jersey was born locally (48,653), about a third were born in Britain (30,223) and the rest are from around the world (18,981*).

The telecoms company has revealed that La Moye, La Rocque and Fauvic will be the first to experience the cutting – edge speeds.

The census - which last week showed 97,857 live here - has revealed the true cosmopolitan make-up of the Island.

JT CEO Graeme Millar reckons everyone will benefit:

Experts say the number of Jersey born has increased but the proportion they are of the

The headcount has also shown more people who arrive in Jersey now stay.

Chief Minister Senator Ian Gorst says we should be proud to live in a vibrant place. *(7,031 from Portugal/Madeira; 3,133 from Poland; 1,880 from Ireland; 3,147 from other European countries and 3, 791 from elsewhere in the world).

Goodwill to all men Jersey Police revealed last week that they’re sending out their own special greeting this festive season.

They’ve dug out their address book, put pen to paper, and composed a special message that says it all.

Islander at the Palace Islander Nick Manning met the Queen last week.

Her Majesty presented the musical director with an MBE recognising 40 years of service to The Band of the Island of Jersey.

Mr Manning’s commitment has seen him lead the group at performances like the Birmingham International Tattoo and The Lord Mayor’s Show.

He made his way to Buckingham Palace for the honour and told Channel 103 what it was like to be nominated: “I had a phonecall telling me I’d been put forward, then the next thing I knew I was at Government House at the Queen’s celebrations where it was officially announced.

It’s been a whirlwind year to be honest and I’m very excited”.

30 of the island’s most persistent criminals will be hand delivered a personalised card aimed at reducing crime.

What a Merry Christmas for someone…

The Police want offenders to know they care and have written:

Just WHO has won the Channel Islands Christmas lottery?!

“Thinking of you during the festive season and throughout 2012… from all your friends at SOJP”.

Awww.

Three in court over drugs bust Three people appeared in Jersey’s Magistrates Court last week in connection with drug offences.

It follows the arrest of five people after police seized more than £125,000 worth of heroin.

Officers say it’s the result of an intelligence operation in the Island.

Louise Ellis and Paul Clamp from the UK, along with Islander Fabio Ferreira appeared before magistrates to hear the charges against them.

At the time of going to be print the top prize of £751,500 was still unclaimed.

All we know is it was bought in Jersey.

Second prize of £50,000 went to a Guernsey syndicate but third prize also stayed in Jersey.

If you get a piece of paper under the tree this Christmas, it could be worth far more than you think.

The winning number was: 1455646 The second prize of £50,000 lined the pockets of number 664660 And the third prize of £25,000 went to 2412583 ••••••••••••••••••••••• Jen would like to wish all Jersey Weekly readers a very Merry Christmas!

Get the latest news for Jersey on Channel 103.7fm and listen online at channel103.com

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

7

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Community News Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Radisson Blu Waterfront Hotel brings some Christmas cheer to the Jersey Shelter Trust

Director John Hodge said; “The Shelter Trust offers a variety of

services to those who are, or who are at risk of becoming homeless in Jersey. These range from providing accommodation in one of our St Helier properties to providing an aftercare and resettlement service to former residents who perhaps require ongoing support. The assistance offered this year by the Radisson Blu team has been practical and tangible for all concerned, the Christmas lunch is a great way to round off the year and our successful partnership. We are all looking forward to developing some great new initiatives in 2012.”

Mobile phones give greater access to Victim Support services

On Wednesday 14th residents and users of the Jersey Shelter Trust were treated to some very special Christmas cheer courtesy of the Radisson Blu Waterfront Hotel.

Around 40 residents sat down to enjoy a festive feast provided by the St Helier hotel. Executive Chef Robert Cauchi and a second chef prepared the turkey and trimmings lunch at the Trust’s Aztec House property, and were joined by General Manager Thomas Stene and Sales and Marketing Director Lydia Smith who served dishes to the guests.

Commenting on the Christmas lunch Stene said; “Jersey’s Shelter

Trust was selected from a shortlist of local charities as the Radisson Blu’s charity of choice for 2011 and 2012, as we knew we could make a real and immediate difference to the Trust and those who use its facilities. We were surprised when we learned that over 400 people a year use the services of the Trust and we felt that we had the practical tools and expertise to offer assistance and are pleased to be able to help this most worthwhile cause. With this festive celebration, the latest in our programme of activities, we hope to bring some joy to the residents and users of the Trust at what can be a particularly difficult time of year.”

In addition to providing a hearty and delicious Christmas lunch, complete with all the traditional trimmings, mince pies and crackers, staff from the hotel also gathered together a number of presents which were distributed on Wednesday 14th December.

A donation of ten mobile phones with pre-paid contracts will give people who have been affected by crime better access to Victim Support’s confidential help and advice.

The charity’s 24 accredited volunteers are not based in an office and rely on mobile communications to make and receive calls or texts to clients who are coping with the effects of crime or going through the court system as witnesses.

Victim Support Manager Hazel Jury said clients may be referred by the police, the hospital or a doctor to receive the free and confidential advice, and some will be self-referred. “Every person

who calls us seeking help is offered a dedicated volunteer to support them. For confidentiality reasons, our volunteers don’t give out their landline or personal number so Airtel-Vodafone’s donation means our volunteers can continue to give their support in confidence and with far greater accessibility.’’

Mrs Jury said that the time commitment for volunteers could vary from case to case depending on the needs of the client. She said: “The support given by our volunteers can range from a lengthy

phonecall to a quick text before a court hearing. It’s therefore a service that lends itself much better to mobile communications and we’re Discussing the difference the activities and assistance organised delighted to receive ten brand new handsets.” by the Radisson Blu team has made this year, Shelter Trust

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Airtel-Vodafone’s Vice President, Ian Campbell, said: “When

we spoke to Victim Support we realised their services depend upon having reliable communications at the right time. This donation will hopefully give Victim Support’s volunteers the flexibility and reliability they need to support their clients. I also hope that our donation marks the beginning of a lasting relationship with the charity.”

To date this year, 236 people have approached Victim Support seeking assistance and the volunteers have made more than 1,100 contacts with them.

Victim Support’s new mobile phones will be on Airtel-Vodafone’s Hi-5 package meaning all calls and texts between the handsets will be free of charge.

La Société Jersiaise and Jersey Heritage bring home rare treasure

of power and prestige, this beautiful stone ring passed hand to hand from its source in the Alps all the way to Jersey, 7,000 years ago.

The skills and craftsmanship involved in making it demonstrates just how sophisticated our Neolithic ancestors were.”

Heritage groups in Jersey are now working together, with the Planning Department, to introduce new portable antiquities legislation that will give important archaeological and cultural artefacts the protection they deserve.

Existing legislation is considered far from adequate because there is no statutory obligation to report finds and there is no system in place to allow objects of great significance to be acquired for public benefit.

Condor Ferries Community Award open for nominations

Islanders are being urged to nominate individuals or groups that they believe have worked hard to support Jersey’s community for the Condor Ferries Community Award 2011.

The award, which forms part of the Jersey Enterprise Awards, recognises the efforts of people who have dedicated their time to supporting Island life by strengthening the community through their work.

The Société Jersiaise and Jersey Heritage have secured the return to Jersey of a rare Neolithic polished stone ring that was thought to be lost to the Island in 1993, after it was sold to a private collector.

The extremely rare jadeite ring, which was discovered in 1986 is an important part of Jersey’s heritage and is one of the Island’s most valuable archaeological treasures. It is made from stone, quarried high in the Alps, and it was one of the few highly valued objects brought to Jersey by the first farmers who colonised the Island over 7,000 years ago.

The Société Jersiaise received a donation from one of its members to support a bid at auction and, working closely with Jersey Heritage and with the support and encouragement of eminent archaeologists at the Prehistoric Society, the British Museum and the Centre National de la Reserche Scientifique de France, have bought the ring so that it can be returned to Jersey and put on public display.

John Clarke, President of La Socété Jersiaise said: “This ring

is an extremely important item. It had disappeared into a private collection for more than 20 years and has only recently reappeared at a sale in New York. We are extremely fortunate to have secured its return to the Island, thanks to the generosity of one of our members and the hard work of Olga Finch at Jersey Heritage.”

The ring was bought at Christies Auction in New York on 7th December and preparations are now being made to bring it back to Jersey where it will be put on permanent display, first at Jersey Museum and La Hougue Bie. Curator of Archaeology at Jersey Heritage, Olga Finch, said: “The jadeite ring is one of the finest in Western Europe and

I’m thrilled this important part of our heritage is coming back for everyone to enjoy. It’s incredible to think that as an important symbol

Any individual, group or organisation, whether charitable or not, is eligible to enter the awards. The only criteria is that nominees should work to support Jersey’s community.

Previous winners include Barbara Frost, a lady who has helped the Island’s children in a variety of ways, from helping with reading lessons in schools to mentoring young people. Last year’s winners, Le Squez Youth Centre, does wonderful work with young people in one of the Island’s more disadvantaged communities.

“Hundreds, if not thousands of people in Jersey give up their time to help the Island’s community in a variety of ways,” said Simon Edsall, Managing Director of Condor Ferries. “The Condor Ferries Community Award is designed to recognise those efforts and thank those people who value Island life so highly.”

The winner of the Condor Ferries Community Award will be presented with the award at the Jersey Enterprise Awards Gala Ball on 2 March 2012 and they will also receive £500 of

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

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NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Condor Ferries travel vouchers which could be used for a wellearned break or, like Le Squez Youth Centre, could be used to take a trip as part of the year’s work within the organisation.

Jane Donald from Le Squez Youth Centre believes that winning the award has played an important role in raising the profile of the centre’s work.

“There’s no doubt that the recent weather conditions have tested us all, but they have not proved too much for Commodore Clipper or her sister ship, Commodore Goodwill. Whilst conditions at sea have been very rough and with other cross channel operators cancelling sailings, we have been determined to continue the lifeline service that keeps the Islands running all year round.

“Winning the award last year came as a great surprise and was an excellent reward for all the hard work that everyone at the Centre has put in over the years. Being named Condor Ferries Community Award winners definitely raised the profile of the work we have been doing with young people in Jersey. It also helped in a practical way by giving us funds towards our trip to Northern Spain last year, which proved to be a great success.

“As a Jersey resident myself, I’d like to thank the Captains and their crews for working tirelessly over this difficult period to keep the ferry service going despite the conditions and to thank our passengers and freight customers for their understanding in these exceptional circumstances.”

“I’d urge anyone who knows people who work hard for Jersey’s community to nominate them for the Community Award as it could make a real difference to the work they do.”

Anyone wishing to make a nomination for the Condor Ferries Community Award should fill in the nomination form that can be downloaded from the Jersey Enterprise Awards website (www.jerseyawards.je). The deadline for entries is 5:00pm on 16th January 2012.

Condor Ferries’ lifeline service overcomes high winds and rough seas

Durrell celebrates 25 years conserving the ploughshare tortoise in Madagascar

As 2011 comes to a close Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust is celebrating 25 successful years of saving species from extinction in Madagascar with the reintroduction into the wild of 20 captive-bred ploughshare tortoises, or angonoka, the world’s most threatened tortoise and the first species Durrell worked with in Madagascar.

Recently 20 tortoises were moved from the breeding centre at Ankarafantsika National Park to a secure site within their natural habitat in preparation for their release into the wild. The animals are marked and fitted with microchips and radio transmitters for close monitoring.

The high winds that have affected the Islands over the past two weeks have not stopped the Commodore Clipper and the Commodore Goodwill from keeping people and vital freight moving between the Channel Islands and the mainland in the run up to Christmas.

The winds, which have reached speeds equivalent to gale force 10, have also combined with low tides, to produce unusually challenging conditions for Condor Ferries’ operations. Although these testing circumstances have resulted in unavoidable delays, the two ships have continued sailing, successfully transporting passengers and freight between the Islands and the UK. Steve Bailey, Jersey Director of Condor Ferries, said

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The tortoises’ arrival in their native land coincided with the annual Festival Angonoky on 24th and 25th November in Soalala, a two-day festival celebrating the communities’ commitment to conserving the ploughshare tortoise.

The celebrations at Ankarafantsika and Soalala were attended

by Dr Lee Durrell, the Trust’s Honorary Director, who said:

“Madagascar will always hold a very special place in my heart and I am delighted that we are able to celebrate Durrell’s 25 years of success in the Island with this remarkable achievement, the release of twenty ploughshare tortoises. However we must not forget that whilst this is undoubtedly a huge step forward, the future of this species still hangs in the balance and we must continue to address the threats affecting the species, not least the illegal pet trade.”

When Durrell started working in Madagascar in 1986, the ploughshare tortoise was on the brink of extinction due to the loss of its habitat around Baly Bay. Responding to this emergency

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

situation, the Government of Madagascar invited Durrell to set up a breeding centre at Ankarafantsika as a safety net for the species which would allow future reintroduction into the wild.

This was the first in-situ conservation breeding programme in Madagascar and has been highly successful, producing over 400 angonoka.

In addition to the breeding centre, Durrell is now working with communities in the Baly Bay area to help reduce threats to the wild population of ploughshare tortoises, such as bush fires.

Through the conservation efforts, the tortoise’s native habitat was declared a National Park in 1998 – the first such park created to save a single species in Madagascar.

However in recent years, illegal trafficking in tortoises for the Asian pet trade has exploded, and this is now the greatest threat to the survival of the ploughshare tortoise. So many of these tortoises have been poached that it is estimated that there could be more ploughshare tortoises held illegally as pets than there are in the wild.

Despite this recent reintroduction, the latest positive step in Durrell’s ongoing ploughshare programme, this species remains extremely close to extinction. Given the pressures which continue to face the wild population there is a real threat of seeing this species going extinct in the wild. In fact without Durrell’s efforts over the past quarter of a century the world could well have lost this ancient reptile already. Effective Government action is imperative and Durrell and its partners continue to work with all parties to ensure that the progress made so far has not been in vain.

Richard Lewis, Programme Director for Durrell Madagascar said: “We are facing a huge challenge to prevent the ploughshare

tortoise from being lost forever in the wild due to smuggling for the pet trade. But with continued commitment from the local communities, the Malagasy Government and the international conservation community we can protect the tortoise’s habitat and halt the illegal trafficking.”

Money boxes help raise £30,000 for Jersey Hospice Care

Islanders have the opportunity to put their spare change to good use and help Jersey Hospice Care when newly-designed money boxes are distributed around the island this month.

An additional 2,000 of the re-usable money boxes, sponsored

by Carey Olsen for the second time, have been re-designed and re-printed and will be distributed in Jersey.

So far over £30,000 has been raised through the collecting box scheme since 2008 and more than 30,000 money boxes are in circulation around the island.

Lynsey Beahan, fundraising manager at Jersey Hospice Care, said: “The money box scheme helps us raise much needed funds for

the hospice and we’re thrilled that Carey Olsen has once again

funded the re-designed boxes.

“The public continues to be extremely generous and the money raised makes a huge difference to those using the hospice and their family and friends.”

Jersey Hospice Care provides free palliative care to Islanders with cancer and motor neurone disease and the service they provide costs more than £6,000 a day to run.

Steven Hunt, Carey Olsen’s director of marketing said: “Jersey

Hospice Care provides an important free service to the Island and many of us have relatives who have experienced the care and kindness that their dedicated staff provide.

“Carey Olsen is very pleased to once again sponsor the money boxes and we hope that the public will fill them and re-use them frequently so that Jersey Hospice Care can continue its wonderful work.”

Minister approves J1 development

The Minister for Planning and Environment, Deputy Rob Duhamel, has today approved the planning application for the J1 office development at the heart of St Helier.

The J1 scheme will be located between Broad Street and Commercial Street, and at over 260,000 square feet, is believed to be the largest single development to be built in Jersey. The scheme proposes 6 floors of office accommodation, with a roof garden and terrace.

The Minister noted that the decision had been a difficult one, balancing a range of issues, including the loss of some historic buildings on the site. However, after weighing up all of the considerations, he concluded that the package of benefits delivered by the proposal clearly outweighed the disadvantages.

The Minister said, “I believe that this is an important scheme,

delivering both a significant quantity of office development and a welcome boost to the construction industry during this difficult economic time. The new building will be an exemplar of design excellence and environmentally responsible development.”

The Minister added that his Department had worked tirelessly with the applicants, Le Masurier Ltd, to negotiate a reduced scheme for him to consider and congratulated both teams. He added that he was particularly pleased to note that the applicant had agreed to submit a Green Travel Plan for the building and would also adopt a Training and Skills Package for the construction phase.

Deputy Duhamel said: “I am particularly pleased to note that Le

Masurier Ltd. have agreed to adopt a training scheme for local people. The need to supply opportunities for local job-seekers is one of the highest priorities for the Council of Ministers and the company’s commitment to helping us achieve that end is a very welcome one”

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11

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Business & Economic News Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Volaw are nominated for The Citywealth Offshore Trust Company Award, 2011

Company commented:

“This is a great achievement for the whole team who have worked tirelessly for our clients. I am enormously proud of everyone who works at Volaw.”

Voting can be done online via www.citywealthmag.com/ offshore-awards but voting finishes on 8th January 2011.

The Channel Island Co-operative’s travel agent, Travelmaker goes online

The Co-operative Society’s travel agent, Travelmaker, has launched the first fully bookable holiday website in the Channel Islands. Travelmaker is an independent travel agent with no links to any tour operator so it is able to offer impartial advice to its customers.

Volaw Trust Company has been nominated for the Citywealth UK Offshore Trust Company of the year award and Managing Director Robert Christensen has been recognized on the Citywealth Leaders list.

The prestigious award ceremony includes 10 different awards and takes place on 25th January 2012 at the London Landmark Hotel.

The awards ceremony was established to highlight the excellence of the advisors and managers in the private wealth sector in the major offshore jurisdictions; Channel Islands, Switzerland and Caribbean. Volaw Trust Company being nominated shows the caliber of the work that Volaw carries out.

An international panel of highly respected practitioners from all sectors will judge the awards. They have experience of working with advisors in all the jurisdictions covered. The winners will be those judged to have excelled in achievement, innovation, expertise and service.

Robert Christensen, Managing Director, Volaw Trust

Islanders are now able to book holidays online at www. travelmaker.co.uk with the same assurances as if they were doing so face to face with a Travelmaker adviser. All holidays booked online will be financially protected through the Association of British Travel Agents (ABTA) and Air Travel Organisers’ Licensing (ATOL).

Head of Travelmaker Carl Winn said the new online service, which has taken six months to develop in conjunction with a leading UK holiday technology provider, was in response to customer demand.

“There will always be a need for our Travelmaker retail outlets to cater for those customers who prefer to book holidays face to face with an experienced agent, especially when it comes to tailor-made holiday packages,’ he said “However, our online offer is our way of extending the service to make travel accessible to a much wider audience, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”

As Travelmaker has access to 85 million holidays online there will be plenty to choose from. “These are predominantly beach

and ski holidays, ‘far away’ destinations and city breaks. To begin with, it will not be possible to book flights only or any hire cars but Travelmaker expect these services to be available in early 2012.” said Mr Winn.

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Trio Construction takes on new business

“This was a deal which suited both parties and was a perfect f it in terms of each company’s attitude, reputation, and way of doing business. It also ties in with our plans for expansion in 2012,” he said.

Current projects include the new gallery and offices at 10 Hill Street and the reinstatement of an existing 1930s property, to incorporate a number of modern features. Trio will also be starting alteration and conversion work at St. Matthew’s Presbytery in the New Year.

A member of the Eco-Active Business scheme, Trio is now looking to lead the way in the implementation of more sustainable and environmentally building practices.

“A prime objective of green or eco building is to reduce the overall impact of the built environment both by designing buildings that are in harmony with the natural features surrounding them and by using water, energy and other resources eff iciently and reducing waste, pollution and Trio Construction has taken on the business of builders K.R. environmental degradation,” added Mr Thomas.

Le Marquand & Sons Limited following the retirement of founder and principal Ken Le Marquand.

The long-established family firm had been trading for 56 years and had built a reputation for high quality workmanship and standards of service. Most of the staff will now be reemployed by Trio.

Trio has also appointed Dave Gibb as contracts manager.

He had worked for K.R. Le Marquand & Sons in a similar capacity for over 13 years.

Set up in 1974, Trio is one of the longest established construction companies in Jersey, but having gradually wound down operations in recent years it was successfully relaunched in 2010 with a strong focus on eco-friendly construction and energy management.

It recently appointed the company’s founder, Chris Thomas, as senior consultant to oversee business development and, with its in-house project management expertise, has also launched JaNET - an online portal which acts as a pathway for effective collaboration between all relevant parties on a construction project, whether they are architects, engineers or surveyors.

Managing director Marc Thomas explained that there were close similarities between Trio and K.R Le Marquand & Sons as both were longstanding family-run businesses specialising in the construction and renovation of high-end residential properties, but with huge experience in the servicing and delivery of all types of construction projects.

Local hotel in the running for prestigious social media award Grand Jersey has been shortlisted for Best Social Media Campaign in the prestigious Hotel Marketing Association Awards. The award recognises integrated use of social media and rewards those who are breaking new ground by utilising a range of online marketing outlets.

Grand Jersey’s 2011 campaign aimed to increase interaction between the hotel and social media followers, increase local market visitors to Grand Jersey in the winter months and to increase the number of followers on the property’s Facebook and Twitter page.

Stef Paddock, marketing executive, Grand Jersey, said: “With

occupancy levels dropping in the winter months, Grand Jersey relies on additional business at this time from the local market. Our social media campaign was tailored specif ically towards hitting this target audience and promoting our food, beverage, Spa and conferencing facilities to Islanders – and it worked, providing fantastic results” Grand Jersey focused its social media strategy solely on the use of Facebook and Twitter, sending out one key message per day via Facebook in order to capture followers’ attention. In addition, an average of four tweets per day were sent to ensure content was always up to date and relevant, as well as running campaigns and competitions via these social media sites.

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NEWS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

In addition to the daily updates, Grand Jersey reserved one week every month to profile their staff or new aspects of the business that customers wouldn’t normally get to see. For example, the housekeeping and maintenance teams took over the Facebook page for 24 hours, uploading pictures of their working day.

display award, with their eye catching designs.

Eamonn Elliott, general manager, Grand Jersey, commented:

The team have won a certificate signed by Mary Portas, who personally judged the competition, a case of champagne and restaurant vouchers for a department night out to celebrate.

“We are delighted to have been shortlisted for this award.

Our marketing team has made a great effort this year to ensure our social media outlets are always updated and used appropriately. We exceeded all targets that were set and I am extremely happy with our achievements.”

Teresa Dos Santos and Anna Renouf from the in-store display team put together an impressive window showing three female manikins dressed in the ‘Mary Portas Recommends Playtex’ range, viewed by passers-by through a large keyhole.

Marica Carleschi, Marketing Manager for Playtex in the UK says: “My congratulations go to the team from the de Gruchy

The Hotel Marketing Association Awards were set up to recognise excellence in hotel marketing. Now in their 18th year, the association offers five awards to hotels that demonstrate marketing excellence in their respective categories.

department store for winning this competition and designing a creative display that caught our judges’ eyes. The original display showed flare for the brand and showed off the ‘Mary Portas Recommends Playtex’ collection to our customers in Jersey.”

The Hotel Marketing Association is the official branch of the Chartered Institute of Marketing specifically for the hotel industry. Its membership includes sales, marketing and operations personnel from both small and large hotels. They provide marketing courses for hotels in order to endorse good marketing practise.

Newly established Jersey Business seeks Chair and Board Members

De Gruchy creates national award-winning display

Jersey Business, a new, independent, grant-funded organisation for on-island business support, is now seeking a Chair and Board Members to support their launch and ongoing development.

As of the 28 November 2011, Jersey Business was formally incorporated, following a policy decision by the Minister for Economic Development to integrate the resources of Jersey Enterprise’s on-island business team and the Jersey Business Venture. Going forward, Jersey Business will provide: • Pre-start-up advice to would-be entrepreneurs • Advice and support to clients who have decided to commence a new undertaking • Appropriate access to finance • Access to skills or training support

Department store crowned winner of ‘Mary Portas Recommends Playtex’ competition Jersey department store de Gruchy has beaten tough competition from hundreds of UK-based independent stores to win the ‘Mary Portas Recommends Playtex’ window

Governance of Jersey Business will be via an independent board that will establish both the form and function of the new organisation, set stretching delivery targets and allow the new team to start delivering products and services identified as being of priority to on-island businesses. On an ongoing basis, Board Members will be expected to contribute towards the development of policies and strategies that support businesses in Jersey.

Julie Melia, Chair of Jersey Business Venture:

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

“We have had a working group in place for some time now, comprising team members from both Jersey Enterprise and Jersey Business Venture, who have been working hard to ensure that the best elements of both existing services are incorporated into the new body. The spirit of cooperation between the two organisations has been absolutely fantastic and I am conf ident the newly formed Jersey Business will continue to provide great support to Jersey’s business community.”

Alan Maclean, Minister for Economic Development also commented:

“I am absolutely delighted that Jersey Business is now ready to begin recruiting its new team at both Board and operating levels. We are looking for applications for Board membership from positive, entrepreneurial individuals from all walks of life and backgrounds, in order to ensure that we have professional, dynamic leadership for this new body.

The creation of a strong Jersey Business Board will ensure the new organisation quickly reaches a position where it can provide high quality business support to Jersey businesses facilitating the delivery of both the new Enterprise and Economic Growth Strategies.”

Design process could help crime prevention

Draft planning guidance has been issued for consultation, which, if adopted, could contribute towards making the community safer.

The draft proposals to address crime prevention have been developed by the Department of the Environment and Islanders are being asked to give their views on the guidelines by the end of January 2012.

The draft supplementary planning guidance (SPG) on crime impact statements is required under the new Island Plan, which was agreed by the States in June 2011. The guidance is intended to design out crime and design in community safety and will require crime impact statements to be submitted with planning applications where appropriate.

The Minister for Planning and Environment, Deputy Rob Duhamel, said:

and more attractive to live and work in. The challenge for developers and designers is to pay careful attention from the outset to the principles of crime prevention and the attributes of safer places, in order to deliver high quality and safe developments.”

Crime impact statements are an important mechanism in helping to ensure that relevant crime prevention matters are properly addressed in the design process. The draft guidance outlines the purpose of crime impact statements, when they are required and what they should contain. It also highlights the importance of seeking advice on crime prevention from the Crime Reduction Officer, States of Jersey Police, at an early stage in the design process.

The draft guidance can be found online at: www.gov.je/ consult and will be available for consultation until 17th February 2012. At the end of this period, the draft guidance will be reviewed and amended in the light of the comments received, prior to formal adoption.

Superfast broadband network must work for the whole Island

Responding to the decision by the Treasury Minister to push ahead with funding for a superfast broadband network, Graham Hughes, Chief Executive of Cable & Wireless Jersey, said:

“Now that the decision has been made to fund a superfast broadband network, Cable & Wireless Jersey will begin the work of ensuring that all islanders will be able to feel the full benef it of their new network.

“The network belongs to the people of Jersey and with this in mind, I can assure islanders that Cable & Wireless Jersey will work to guarantee that the network is freely open to use by all operators in a fair and transparent manner. Only by doing so, will islanders be able to receive innovative new services at the best possible prices.

“I look forward to working with the JCRA and the other operators to make the network a real success for all the people of Jersey.”

“Even though Jersey is a relatively safe place, crime and fear of crime remain legitimate concerns for many islanders. Land use planning has an important contribution to make towards crime reduction in new developments and making places safer

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Money & Investments Roundup Compiled by Marcus Quinn, news@jerseyweekly.com

James McKeigue, Money Week Across the river from the City

The fundamental argument for holding gold as insurance against a financial meltdown has not changed.

Indeed, last week’s panic shows that the financial system remains as insecure as it did back in 2008, gold also took a hit as people rushed for liquidity, but it rapidly recovered.

So why’s Merryn selling some of her holding? Well, she has been a fan of gold for a long time – since the start of the bull market in fact – so her holding has grown in value quite significantly. I suspect the same goes for a lot of MoneyWeek readers.

And while we’re fans of gold, we’ve never suggested that you should be 100% in the yellow metal – it’s just plain silly to stake your entire financial future on it, or any other single asset.

So regularly rebalancing your portfolio makes sense. To me, having around 10% of your portfolio in gold is a good idea.

Certainly, if gold on its own accounts for 30% or more of your portfolio, I’d suggest you at least consider moving some of your money into other assets (maybe some of the high quality blue-chips we’ve been tipping for a while now).

By the same token, if you have a lot less than 10% in gold, then maybe you should think about buying some. I know I am – although I’m keen on gold, I’ve never quite got round to buying as much as I’d ideally like to. Now looks like a reasonable time to start topping up my holding.

Get yourself some exposure to the US dollar We’ve been arguing for months now that the dollar would recover this year, and now it seems to be on a tear. Why? Investors are looking for liquidity and ‘safety’.

But they are also looking around the world and realising that they don’t have many other places to go. The ‘hot’ emerging markets are all in the doldrums: Brazil, India and China have all suffered badly

this year. Europe is a basket case – the French reaction to Britain last week (calling us childish one day, then the next day trying to ‘grass us up’ to the credit ratings agencies) was a hilarious yet terrifying indication of how completely out of touch the region’s leaders are. And Britain isn’t in a much better state.

So that leaves the US. However, America does face some tough times ahead. In particular, the first quarter of 2012 could be difficult. That’s why, if you’re going to bet on the US, I’d opt for dollar-exposed blue chips, and big healthy US companies that can withstand a recession. Also, if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, you could investigate exchange traded funds that allow you to bet on a rising dollar. I suggested looking into the Short Aussie Dollar ETF (LSE: SAUP) last week: How to profit from China’s slowing economy.

Since then it’s already ticked higher, but could have a lot further to go, particularly if China is facing a hard landing.

Of course, there is another major global market to consider: Japan. I was chatting to MoneyWeek regular James Ferguson about this last night. One of the problems for the Japanese stock market in general has been the strength of the yen. For a long time now, it has been the ultimate ‘safe haven’ currency – the one that rose most when the market is in ‘risk-off ’ mode.

But if the dollar has turned a corner, and the yen finally weakens significantly against the US currency, this should be good news for investors in Japan. So as well as getting some exposure to the US, I’d hang on to your Japanese holdings.

The next great land of opportunity I want to move away from doom, gloom and despair and look at an area of opportunity.

It’s quite a big area – 603,909 square miles, in fact – though at one stage it covered 13 million square miles: everything from Poland in the west to Korea in the east, from Siberia in the north to Oman and Vietnam in south.

I’m talking, of course, about Mongolia.

Here’s a statistic that took my breath away when I first heard it a fortnight ago from Jamul Jadamba of Mogul Ventures Corp (my sincere thanks to Jamul for his time – much of the information in this Money Morning I sourced from him). China has a

population of 1.4 billion people. Mongolia, immediately to the north, has just 2.8 million.

Sure, China is about six times larger. But Mongolia is hardly small. It’s the world’s 19th largest country. For it to have a population 1/500th the size of China’s – or 1/5th of the 14 million we have living in the London metropolitan area - I find astonishing. I understand it’s among the most sparsely populated countries on earth.

That means it is unlikely to be competing in the future with populous countries like Vietnam, Indonesia or Bangladesh in the world of manufacturing. It simply doesn’t have the workforce. The opportunity for Mongolia lies in its natural resources – mining and agriculture. It has them in abundance.

And, thanks to its location, it could quickly become the supplier of choice for China – threatening the dominance of countries like Australia and Brazil, which are becoming increasingly expensive to work in.

Take coal. Mongolia’s coal exports have grown in the last ten years from little more than nothing to something like 25 million tonnes a year, with growth of 50% in the last year alone. Exports are predicted to hit 50 million tonnes by 2015. The Tavan Tolgoi deposit is the world’s largest deposit of coking coal. Foreign partners with superior mining expertise and technology are being brought in to ramp up production, and 15% of the state-owned company’s shares are expected to list in London next year.

Another example of the potential here is the Oyu Tolgoi copper-gold discovery made by Ivanhoe Mining in 2001. It is now being developed with the Mongolian government and Rio Tinto, and was probably the discovery of the century.

It’s the world’s largest undeveloped copper-gold project, containing in the region of 81 billion pounds of copper and 46 million ounces of gold. Production is anticipated for 2013. (From 2001 to 2013 – that’s how long it takes to get a large mine like this into production – no wonder secular commodity cycles go on for so long). We’ll certainly be keeping an eye out for more ways to play the country so watch this space...

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

This Week’s Reader Photos Compiled by Jason Bourgeois, send your pictures to photos@jerseyweekly.com

Meerkat

Disneyland

ByDan Marsh

By Unknown Reader

Not Quite the Apocalypse

By Rick Jones

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Night Rider

By Tom White

Escalator

A Joke Fell Off a Cliff

By Jake Day

By Jim Stevens

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Readers’ Emails Compiled by Jason Bourgeois, letters@jerseyweekly.com

Merry Christmas

less to stay in Jersey for.

Hi Jersey Weekly,

The question is, does Mr Jones have any ideas where things may be better? The prospect of upping stumps and moving somewhere else is not quite as simple as it sounds. Added to the upheaval and stress of finding ones feet in a new country (as leaving Jersey dictates that we cross some form of ocean), there is the increasingly gloomy outlook in Europe. The UK comes with an ever increasing crime rate and a culture that I don’t really imagine being suitable for my children’s upbringing.

Just wanted to wish you Season’s Greetings and all the best for 2012.

It’s been lovely having your iPadsized mag tell me what’s coming and what’s on. Here’s hoping 2012 has plenty for you to keep us informed of!

Cheers,

Katy, St Helier

Easiest Christmas EVER! Has anyone noticed how much easier Christmas shopping has been this year?

I don’t know if it’s because there are less people in the Island than there used to be or if more people are just taking advantage of shopping online.

If it IS due to all the online shoppers I find it quite funny since we’ve had to get rid of all the online shops from Jersey just recently.

To be perfectly honest I am not bothered either way. My Christmas shopping this year has been peaceful and hassle free.

The HMV queues as usual were the longest but by no means as long as they’ve been in the past.

Also far more of my shopping too was done online this year which has left me with my feet up before, during and after what would have ordinarily been stress filled trips to town.

God Bless the internet

Mary ‘Still in Touch’, St Brelade

Should we stay or should we go?

With all the doom and gloom present in every report on Jersey’s economy, I notice that in a few articles by Rick Jones, he has mentioned that there is less and

In other parts of the World, an economic downturn can bring a resultant wave of criminal activity and desperation. Jersey, touch wood, seems to suffer less of this, if any at all.

If things are getting bad everywhere, I feel it’s more sensible to stay put. If Finance pulls out of Jersey as the online retailers are, and the population on the whole become less affluent, surely the house prices etc will come down too?

Being born and bred here, I really do wish people would stop insinuating that all of us ‘beans’ are getting ready to leave en masse, leaving an empty, apocalyptically desolate Jersey in the wake of the Condor Ferry.

A. Ward St Helier

Getting off the Rock?

Although I wasn’t born in Jersey, it has been my home now for some fifteen years. In the first five or so years I lived here, I flew back to my native Wales every Christmas, to see family.

After a few years off from my Christmas trips home, I recently decided that I would like to spend a little time with my elderly parents during the festive period. When I looked at the price of tickets earlier in the year, I made my budget and saved for the visit home.

However, when I had save the cash I needed to get my ticket, and proceeded to try and book online, I hadn’t even half of the money required to get a ticket. In fact, my ticket price would have swallowed my whole budget for the trip.

I looked at the cost of fuel, and although it has risen both here and in the UK, it didn’t seem to have risen enough to justify the doubling of the airfare.

I wonder if Jersey Weekly could maybe look into this. I see the header on the front cover has changed to say ‘support independent journalism’ as part of the new cover charge. Well, I’m happy to pay if you’re happy to investigate, how about it?

Given that this must affect everyone who may need to get ‘home’, wherever home may be, I think you would find quite a few interested readers if you were to ask around.

I hope it’s something you can look into in 2012.

A. Beard St. Martin

water in all of my clothes to run a small leisure pool for a month or more.

Here comes the rain again!

I am writing to community’s opinion.

Email of the Week

ask

I’m just saying you know. It would have been nice to have been told. the

Am I now allowed to use my garden hose etc once more? It has not stopped raining for the past 2 weeks and no mention of the hose pipe ban being lifted has been made.

Are we supposed to just assume this is as obvious as it looks or should we have been told?

Or perhaps it has not been lifted even though there’s enough

Also as a side note. I am correct in thinking all landlords are legally obliged to protect their properties and tenants from wind and water because mine, who shall remain nameless, is terrible at this, refusing to even come and visit to look at a leak until it is convenient for him meanwhile I’m living with a puddle under my window

Send your thoughts and views to:

LETTERS @JerseyWeekly.com

Miss Janus St Brelade

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FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

This Week’s Featured Charity Written by Rick Jones, Compiled by Jon Moore, hello@jerseyweekly.com

WORKING EXTENSIVELY AMONGST the community, as well as at their base at Clarkson House, Mont Cochon, Jersey Hospice provide comfort, support and care for sufferers of Cancer and their families. In spite of their services being free of charge, the charity is committed to professionalism and ensuring that those entrusted to their care get the absolute best quality of service possible.

AROUND 900 PEOPLE are diagnosed with cancer and motor neurone disease in Jersey each year, and around 200 people sadly lose their lives to these conditions.

The news that you - or a loved one - have developed cancer can be devastating, and inevitably, there is the need for somewhere to turn should things take the worst course.

For many Islanders in this position, Hospice is that place. They are experts in palliative care - the relief and prevention of suffering, and understand and support the emotional and spiritual concerns of patients as much as the physical.

Hospice’s package of integrated services are provided twenty-four hours a day, three-hundred-and-sixty-five days a year. Each care plan is tailored to the individual, and purely aimed at minimising any and every possible cause of discomfort or stress.

“Their community bereavement service is open to anyone in jersey who has suffered a loss, not just those who’ve lost loved ones to cancer”

They work either at the homes of sufferers, or in their facility at Clarkson House - it all depends on the requirements, and importantly, desires of the patient. Listening to patients wishes, allowing them to remain at home and still providing high-quality care is paramount, as Hospice believe in preserving the dignity of sufferers above all else. This is ‘care’ in the true sense of the word, above and beyond the call of duty.

They remain an independent charity, and rely 100% upon the kindness and generosity of Islanders to continue their work. They don’t receive any funding from the States to cover their running costs, although the provision of a large sum from the fiscal stimulus fund this year has allowed them to renovate their headquarters, and thus continue to provide the very best care.

Their Community Bereavement Service is open to anyone in Jersey who has suffered a loss, not just those who’ve lost loved ones to cancer. They combine the many years experience in counselling those in the throes of loss, the bringing together of those in the same situation via regular groups and the chance for those in turmoil at this difficult time to express their feelings freely.

As with all of Hospice’s services, this is free of charge.

Should you wish to donate, volunteer or otherwise make contact with the charity in less urgent circumstances, please speak to; General Enquiries: +44 (0)1534 876555 Fundraising: +44 (0)1534 510349 Bereavement Service: +44 (0)1534 285144 Fax: +44 (0)1534 876333 General email: administration@jerseyhospicecare.com Fundraising email: fundraising@jerseyhospicecare.com

To operate free of charge, the charity - as well as taking donations - organise some amazing events and fund raising schemes through each year. The scope of these events - as well as the many ways Islanders can help - is so great that it bears looking on their website; www.jerseyhospicecare.com to see where you could fit in.

Ten percent of the sales of this issue will go directly to Jersey Hospice Care, but the thanks and best wishes from all of the staff here at Jersey Weekly go to all the volunteers, carers, fundraisers and supporters that have allowed Hospice to ‘be there’ for the community since it began.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

TTS Manager States of Jersey Kevin Lewis

Introduction

The new States of Jersey Council of Ministers was announced in November 2011. The role of Transport and Technical Services Minister was taken up by Deputy Kevin Lewis, who beat St Peter Constable John Refault to the post by two votes.

The Transport and Technical Services Department of the States of Jersey has an enormously broad role, and one who’s role shouldn’t be underestimated in the Island. They cover the essential sewerage, waste and roadways management, as well as being responsible for public areas and coastal defences. Thus Deputy Lewis has arguably one of the busiest and most complex roles in the Council of Ministers.

Words // Rick Jones • Feature Design // Jon Moore

Jersey Weekly profiles Deputy Kevin Charles Lewis...

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Kevin Lewis Deputy Kevin Charles Lewis was first sworn to office as a Deputy of St Saviour No. 2 on 5th December 2005, then in 2008 and 2011 respectively.

A popular and well thought of member of the Island’s prominent politicians, Deputy Lewis has successfully combined his passions - such as film - with his career, and is always happy to use the knowledge and practical experience he has gained as a result, to enrich the community.

As we mentioned his love of film, we’ll begin with his role in bringing cinema to the Jersey public, which started before his election as Deputy. In 2004, the Odeon Cinema on Bath St closed its doors, apparently ‘for good’, after being a landmark feature of the Island since 1952. It was the first cinema to be opened in the aftermath of the Second World War, and until the much more recent addition of Cineworld to the Waterfront, the most Southerly Cinema in the British Isles.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Continued...

Kevin Lewis - not yet ‘Deputy’ Lewis at this point - had previously run the CineCentre complex at Hotel de France, and negotiated hard with the building owners C. Le Masurier to keep the historic cinema open to the public.

He re-opened the Odeon as ‘The Forum Cinema’ in 2005, and although from the outset the arrangement was only a temporary one, for the next four years thousands of happy Islanders attended the non-profit making ‘pictures’. It was a sad day when the announcement finally came that the building had to close it’s doors for good, but had it not been for the work of Deputy Lewis, many happy nights at the pictures for Islanders may never have happened.

Lewis is surely a ‘man of the people’ - a cliched phrase perhaps, but along with the examples of his interest in the community listed above, very appropriate.

Now with a hand in some of the most essential aspects of the Islands utilities and services, Deputy Lewis can seize his chance to improve Jersey, for the Jersey people.

His love of film, and his interest in the mechanical side of cinema prompted him to organise and arrange the ‘for charity’ event; ‘The Jersey Film Festival’ each year since 1977. The festival, which takes place in Howard Davis Park shows 35mm film - both classic and modern - al fresco style, and draws large crowds and very generous donations to the chosen charities. Now that Cineworld is the last remaining cinema - and have moved to digital - the last place to see any actual ‘film’ cinema is Deputy Lewis’ annual showings at the Jersey Film Festival.

We will get to the politics shortly, but another example of the Deputy using his hobbies for the benefit of others bears mentioning. The proud owner of a cold war era British Military Amphibious Vehicle, an Alvis Stalwart - the Deputy put his restored and much loved vehicle into use - and harms way - during the floods of 2007 in the UK. Using the vehicle’s unique ability to be a load carrier on both land and water, Deputy Lewis moved people, supplies and even pets between flooded areas and safety.

Here in Jersey, Deputy Lewis has previously stated that “We need strong management and a balanced view of Business and social priorities”, and in his 2005 stand for Senatorial Election said; “I never give up and I will go head to head with anyone in the States to get the best deal for the people of Jersey.”

He highlighted that he would wish to abolish GST, prophetically seeing it as inflationary, and stated that rather than increase the tax burden on Islanders, he would sooner boost the economy to produce more revenue.

In other areas of taxation, the he stated that he favours the abolition of vehicle registration duty and the taxation of Jersey bank interest at source.

Of course VRD is already history at this point, but if these other early declarations are anything to go by, Deputy

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

FEATURES

Ice Skating Returns

words // Rebecca Seller • photography // Ian Paine

Ice Skate Jersey returns with a Winter Wonderland Ice Rink offering people of all ages the chance to get your skates on and enjoy some seasonal festive fun. This year it’s all about the children so why not bring your kids along to learn or practice how to skate whilst you enjoy one of the now famous hot chocolates from the Ice Café.

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THE ICE RINK HAS RETURNED this year better than before boasting a red and white theme this year to give the rink a warmer atmosphere. Inside is lit up with hundreds of LED low energy lights giving it a cosy and festive feel.

This year the organisers have offered a school initiative by giving the chance to bring along the children at reduced rates so they can get a feel of ice skating and enjoy with their friends as an extracurricular activity.

Fifteen Schools took up the initiative and hundreds of children skated during the last week of term.

Sure, who are one of the sponsors have kindly donated 6 penguin skate aides. The penguins are free to use and help the children to skate away from the sides of the rink. They also help with balance and confidence on the ice. The penguins cannot be used at busy times on the ice so parents are encouraged to visit during the first two sessions of the day as these are normally the quieter times.

Trudi and Keith Halstead, Event Promoters commented “the popularity of the ice rink has already surpassed last year’s first week of being open.

Right from the first session when the Constable of St Helier cut the ribbon on opening we have had many Islanders, young and old, returning to skate.

It is noticeable how many youngsters, particularly the 8-14 age group, are becoming quite adept at skating.”

The Ice Rink is also offering reduced rates to groups such as Youth Clubs, Scouts, Cubs and Girl Guides; their aim being to keep skating affordable to the Island’s youth and to encourage a sporting activity that can be enjoyed indoors.

The support from local businesses has made this an event that is very much at the heart of the community. It provides a safe and affordable environment that allows anyone with an ice skating ambition or curiosity to step into the rink. Keith Halstead, Organiser, commented “We would like to thank all of our sponsors whom without their support this event would not be possible.”

National Ice Skating Association qualified instructor Sarah Evans has taken a break from her full time coaching job in Leeds, Bradford. Sarah is on hand to provide one to one or group coaching to budding skaters. Sarah is also available to chaperone children whose parents might not fancy the ice.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

The Ice Café is another attraction of the Ice Rink. The Café is being run for the first time by Matthew Wainwright of First Class Catering Limited and Tony Sergeant of Jersey Kitchen. The café is a warm escape from the coldness of the ice rink. The range of refreshments includes the delicious hot chocolate with marshmallows, hot pork rolls, fresh homemade pastas, soups and cakes. This year the café has been granted a special licence to serve mulled wine which guarantees to get you in the festive mood! The clear panels in the café allow parents to stay warm and enjoy a hot drink whilst keeping an eye on the kids.

A £10 Winter Warmer menu is available for groups of 20 or more and must be requested in advance. A Kids Party Menu is also available for £5. Matthew Wainwright commented “It’s been really great, our hot chocolate is becoming the most popular choice and the atmosphere and decorations make it a real festive place to be.”

If you are planning on going ice skating remember to wear warm clothing such as gloves, hats and thick socks, a waterproof jacket and warm layered clothing are also advisable. Try to avoid long scarves and coats. This year the rink has brand new blue hockey skates for all that range from children’s size 7 to 3 and adults size 3 to 15 Prices are Adult £7, Students £6.50, children (Under 12) £6 and a family ticket is available for £22 (1 adult + 3 children or 2 adults + 2 children). The rink is open until the 8th January. One session last one hour and sessions run from 10am with the last session at 9pm. Group bookings of ten or more people are being taken and the rink is available if you would like exclusivity on the rink.

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

At Parade Gardens from

9th December at 5pm to 8th January 2012

FEATURES

In association with

Closed Christmas Day

Open from 10am to 10pm Adults £7 Children £6 Family (2+2/1+3) £22

www.iceskatejersey.co.uk See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Highlights2011

Words // Rick Jones • Feature Design // Jon Moore

As we reach the end of another year, Jersey Weekly would like to thank you, our readers, for picking up ‘the little magazine with a big heart’. Over the last fifty issues we’ve tried to give you the ‘heads ups’ on what’s coming event-wise, and we’ve introduced more news, current affairs, sports and images from all elements of Island life.

2011 was quite a year, and here are some of the highlights, from our featured events, as the last twelve months unfolded...

JANUARY

THE NATIONAL TRUST for Jersey saw in 2011 with a New Year’s Resolution aimed at preserving our environment - and a physical gesture to drive it home, and keep it in the public consciousness.

‘The Green House Project” was the Trust’s pledge to lead by example and embrace ‘green’ living - harmony with the environment - throughout 2011.

The Trust made a step each month towards environmentally sustainable methods - including insulating their properties, saving water, encouraging composting and growing vegetables and awareness of local wildlife.

In a move that brought unforeseen controversy, they painted the ‘White House’ (Le Don Hilton) at St Ouen a rather fetching shade of green, in keeping with the name of their year long project.

Though there were complaints about the change to this iconic building, the added publicity did much for the cause.

FEBRUARY SAW THE RHYTHM, blues and jazz legend Georgie Fame pay a special visit to Jersey.

George and his legendary band ‘The Blue Flames’ blended ska sounds with the aforementioned rhythm and blues, pioneering the sound in the sixties.

He spent the next decade rocking the multi-cultural audiences that attended his residencies at some of the most happening venues in London.

Some of this magic was recreated for a lucky audience, when he played a special gig at the Radisson Blu Hotel. Joined by his two sons, Tristan and James Powell, on percussion and guitar respectively, ‘The Georgie Fame Trio’ he wowed the crowd with his unique singing and keyboard skills and grooved the usually quiet month of February long into the winter night.

FEBRUARY

Truly the high point of what can be a slow time for entertainment.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

MARCH

ONE OF THE TREASURES of our Island must surely be the ‘Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust’ and their wonderful base of operations and wildlife park in Trinity.

The Trust, and the park itself, saw a couple of milestones reached in March - as well as some great new features completed, that allow for added comfort for animals and human guests alike!

The ‘Livingstone Fruit Bat’ enclosure tunnel was re-located and given a whole new structure, with kind help from a team volunteers made up of HSBC staff members. These large ‘megabats’ (that’s a real term!) need plenty of space, and allows the endangered mammals to be captive bred for re-introduction to the wild.

‘Bintang’ the Otter, became a Mother - the first time these elusive mammals have been reported as breeding in captivity.

A ‘Wildlife Camp’ with ‘pod’ enclosures - for people - was constructed, so visitors can stay on-site from March 2011 onwards too!

APRIL

ALTHOUGH NOT STRICTLY Jersey news, you won’t have escaped the Royal Wedding in April of 2011.

The marriage of Prince William - the future King of England - to his fiance of six months, Kate Middleton.

The pair had been playing cat-and-mouse with the media since they first became an item - rumors abounded - difficult circumstances for any couple in love.

The Wedding, however, was truly a public affair, attracting record numbers of television viewers, and leading to ‘street party’ celebrations up and down the nation.

The Princess’s dress was the stuff of conversation, with many commenting on her commendably subtle and tasteful style - very much complimenting the ‘girl next-door’ natural good looks she is known for. A modern day fairy-tale, the Island enjoyed a public holiday especially for the occasion.

FOOD MAY BE A NECESSITY, but it’s one of the finer things in life when done properly. Here in Jersey, we have both traditional and imported food culture to satisfy the pickiest of ‘foodies’ anywhere in the World.

To celebrate the Island’s rich culinary melting pot, Genuine Jersey and Jersey Tourism arranged an Island-wide celebration that became the 2011 Jersey Food Festival.

Jersey

Food Festival 2011 Sat 14th - Sun 22nd May - Taste the real Jersey MAY

Historically symbolic food celebrations such as ‘Fete de la Mer’ at Gorey and the ‘Farmer’s Market’ at St Aubin were taken under the Food Festival’s coordination - and many Hotels, Restaurants and Cafés put on special menus, sourcing extra special ingredients and recipes for the weekend-long event.

Jersey’s iconic cows shared the limelight with the traditional - if often overlooked these days - local seafood industry.

The Jersey Dairy rolled out a new line of ice-creams, butter and cheeses - made from the rich milk that our Jersey herd is prized for.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

THE VENERABLE VIRTUOSO pianist Jools Holland, along with his very own ‘Rhythm and Blues Orchestra’ and guest vocalists Sandie Shaw and Ruby Turner, graced our shores in Jun, marking the start of a highly musical Summer season on the Island.

JUNE

He brought his usual boogie-piano magic to Fort Regent, where a full house capacity crowd were wowed by the musical precision and soulful delivery of the veteran performers on the bill.

The eighteen piece ensemble delivered many classic tracks, modern and otherwise, and gave fans a sneaky preview of the new album ‘Rockin’ Horse’.

There were smiling faces and dancing all around, and it would be hard to find anyone in attendance that night who wouldn’t agree that the show was a highlight of 2011.

Jools himself was said to have enjoyed the gig immensely, and we’re sure, if you missed this landmark appearance, he’ll be back in 2012.

JULY

JULY WAS UPON us with a lovely Summer feel, as a string of festivals, both large and small, kept the weekends busy for Islanders of all ages.

The Harbour and the adjacent seaside area of Havre des Pas took it in turns one weekend, as they hosted the annual ‘Fisherman’s Festival’ and the ‘Seaside Festival’ respectively.

Both events made much of the local food and craft workers wares, as stall offered all manner of great food and products. Music was very much the foundation of each, with local and visiting bands giving some amazing performances over the weekend.

The following weekend saw the Grass Roots eco-festival enjoying great summer weather and some amazing acts.

Seasick Steve braved the affliction that gave him his name, and sailed to Jersey to rock the festival crowd with down home blues.

Joining him were 90’s icons ‘Arrested Development’.

THE BATTLE OF FLOWERS, in all it’s colourful glory, once again stole the limelight in August.

AUGUST

The carnival has been a Jersey tradition since 1902, when it was conceived as a celebration of the coronation of Edward VII. All these years later, and the procession, floats and costumes... not to mention the flowers, have become increasingly vibrant. 2011 did not disappoint on this front, with 17 year old ‘Miss Battle’; the beautiful Alice Cubbage, joined by Pop Idol winner and chart star Gareth Gates as her Mr Battle.

The pair led the procession atop their own rose adorned float, to the cheers and applause of the large crowd gathered. The ‘Moonlight Parade’ the next night was even more successful attracting record numbers.

The Island’s Portuguese community also celebrated their wonderful culinary traditions in August, with their ‘Portuguese Food Festival’.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

SEPTEMBER

SEPTEMBER STILL FELT LIKE SUMMER, the weather thankfully holding out for the 2011 ‘Jersey Live Festival’.

This year saw a new stage configuration, more music areas and some truly huge names visiting the Island.

Madness, Plan B, The Streets, Ed Sheeran and Feeder were just some of the better known acts to take to the main stage.

The JT Recharge Tent saw both local acts (including some of the young winners of the ‘Spring Spectacular’ talent show) and visiting bands in ascension play to full tent crowds. Likewise the ‘SoBe’ stage, which drew a great crowd to the ‘corner’ of the arena all weekend.

The CAMRA ‘Beer Festival’ drew the usual great attendance, and went off without a hitch.

The Island’s own boutique film festival, ‘Branchage’ was the biggest ever in 2011... and vied with Jersey Live as ‘the’ September event.

OCTOBER MEANS ‘TENNERFEST’... great meal deals across the Island for just £10... and 2011 was no exception!

OCTOBER

Those who needed to burn some Tennerfest calories had plenty of opportunity, as the Standard Charter Jersey Marathon once again took place in October.

Record numbers of both serious and ‘fun runners’ took to the course, and raised a great amount for charity.

The scorching temperatures didn’t stop Scottish runner Shona Crombie-Hicks from smashing the women’s course record, with a blistering - literally - time of two hours and fifty-three minutes. The men’s race was won by Jethro Lennox, who’s wife hails from Jersey, and know’s our roads very well. He came in at an incredible two hours, thirty-two minutes and five seconds... wow...

Island MMA fighter Liam McGeary took the British title in his first professional fight, at the awesome ‘Rumble on the Rock’ event.

NOVEMBER

THE TREASURY AND RESOURCES Minister’s announcement that £40m of the fiscal stimulus package must be spent to revive the economy - saw the Jersey Opera House receive a grant to renovate areas of the building that had gone unused for over a decade.

They took the grant and got all the work done, on time and on budget, and did so without even disrupting the schedule of performances during the period.

The Opera House now has a brand new bistro style cafe bar - the ‘OH! CAFEBAR’, complete with new menu. It opened in November, and has been a popular addition to the area, seeing plenty of customers.

There is also a new rehearsal studio, complete with full lighting and sound rigs, that should see the once ‘dead during non performance times’ Opera House become the hub of creative activity that the public building really deserves to be.

As for December... well, it has a whole issue of Jersey Weekly to itself!

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

FEATURES

Charities in Need of Donations at Christmas Charities need donations all year long, however some charities are set up to help vulnerable and disadvantaged people at Christmas.

Other charities see a rise in the need for their help due to the festive time of year. Jersey Weekly takes a look at the charities that most need your help this Christmas.

The Jersey Christmas Appeal was started by the JEP over 100 years ago. In more recent years the organisation of the Appeal has been the responsibility of; Rotary Club of Jersey, The Lions Club of Jersey, Jersey Round Table, Rotary Club de la Manche, Soroptimists International of Jersey, Jersey Evening Post, Supported by BBC Radio Jersey and Channel 103 Funds raised are for the benefit of families in Jersey who are in financial need and look for assistance. They achieve this by distributing food hampers and vouchers for groceries, children’s toys and in certain instances, fuel vouchers. The hampers are primarily for those that find shopping difficult, due perhaps to disability or infirmity.

Most families with whom the appeal becomes involved with will already have applied for assistance through an agency such as Clubs, Parish Constables, Citizen’s Advice Bureau, Family Nursing & Home Care, Dept. of Health & Social Services and their GP. Applications are carefully vetted so as to ensure that the right response is made and the circumstances of the family will govern the assistance given. A considerable amount of planning and effort goes into the Appeal by all the Clubs involved.

Words // Rebecca Seller • Feature Design // Jon Moore

One of the Chairman’s tasks is to write to businesses, organisations, schools etc asking for donations, and encouraging fund-raising events such as dress-down days, raffles, quizzes, carol singing or similar. 770 letters have been sent out this year.

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Events that have taken place include: 1. Car Boot Sale at Fort Regent on 6th November run by Rotary de la Manche.

Raised in the region of £4,000. Supported by Channel 103 2. 1st December – Xmas Eve: Regular tin shakes in St Helier and selected country locations by Rotary Club of Jersey and Soroptimists 3. 23rd November – Xmas: Regular Carol Singing and entertaining in St Helier by individuals, groups and school choirs. People involved include the Salvation Army, JCG, JCG Prep and St Michael’s Prep.

4. Fund raising events by Bel Royal School, First Tower School and the Spar shops.

As well as Buskers who contribute a proportion of their collections to the Appeal.

5. Sat 3rd – Thurs 8th Dec – The Round Table Santa Sleigh Runs which raised approx. £2,600 this year.

6. 10th Dec – The Lions Club and volunteers compiled the hampers at Tom Binet’s South Fork Farm for distribution (over 300 individual recipients). The Coop supplied the groceries etc.

7. 11th Dec – BBC Radio Auction led by Murray Norton and the team this year in conjunction with Rotary de la Manche raised over £43,000.

JCA Chairman 2011 Peter Paturel said “We continue to be amazed by the generosity of islanders especially considering the number of fund-raising events held throughout the year, and especially at Christmas. Last year we raised £118,000 which we hope to exceed this year. At this point, we have raised £70,000 for the 2011 Appeal so we still have some way to go to achieve our target.”

He further commented “We do rely on islanders to continue supporting the Appeal as we do need to commit funds ahead of collections so as to ensure that families receive help in time.”

The cost of providing the hampers has increased and GST has increased to 5%. If you would like to help donations can be sent direct to Treasurer Mrs Toni Roberts at Valaner, La Rue au Prieur, St Ouen JE3 2LB.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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SALVATION ARMY The Salvation Army has a long history of working with people who are vulnerable and marginalised across the world and offer very practical help, unconditional assistance and support regardless of race, religion, gender or sexual choices, respecting the identity and choices of all those referred to them. Many families receive aid over a period of months after the Christmas season as well, people struggling with difficult family, emotional, or employment problems.

Millions of pounds is donated each year to aid needy families, seniors, and the homeless, in keeping with the spirit of the season.

Donations provide Christmas dinners, clothing, and toys for families in need. Financial assistance also helps with basic necessities including food and fuel voucher to enable empowerment, along with seasonal aid. Here in Jersey the Salvation Army has invited up to 40 people for Christmas day dinner. The Salvation Army endeavors to bring spiritual light and love to those it serves at Christmas so that the real meaning of the season is not forgotten.

THE SHELTER TRUST ‘Everybody needs Shelter.’

The Shelter Trust is the largest provider of services for homeless people in Jersey. The Trust is a charity offering shelter, support and a way forward for homeless people.

At present they offer accommodation for over 80 homeless people from 3 sites around St Helier. Their doors are open for advice and support to all those who are vulnerable or at risk of homelessness.

The Trust also provides an Outreach Service, offering food, hot drinks and support for ‘rough sleepers’ in partnership with Jersey Homeless Outreach Group.

In moving on from homelessness they provide an aftercare and resettlement service to former residents who now live in their own homes but need some ongoing support. At Christmas time the 3 Jersey Shelters normally have around 80 residents in total. John Hodge, Director of the Shelter Trust said “On Christmas day we have a sit down lunch and we give gifts to our residents we try to make it a really special day.”

THE WOMEN’S REFUGE The Refuge is a safe house where women who experience domestic abuse can move into and have space to think clearly about their situation. Alternatively, women can just pop in to talk to a Support Worker in confidence about their situation. Christmas time can be a particularly stressful time for families as a lot of time is spent at home and the consumption of alcohol is often common. The refuge is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week to offer support to victims of domestic violence. New Year is a time when many people who suffer domestic abuse review their situations and make a fresh start.

If you would like to donate to any of the above mentioned charities visit their websites or call to help these vulnerable people at Christmas time.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

NEW YEARS

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

As the winter sun sets on the final moments of another year, tradition dictates that with the beginning of a new calendar year, new commitments are made in the form of the proverbial ‘New Year’s Resolution’.

Whether this is a public declaration or a secret personal goal, the term ‘resolution’ implies a steadfast determination to make a change.

Jersey Weekly takes a look at why, what and how Islanders may be hoping to change for the better, as we leave 2011 in the archives of history

We’ve all done it, and we’ve all seen it... the excesses in consumption over the festive period often leaves us feeling like we need to make a promise to ourselves for the coming new year.

If you’re a regular gym attendee, you may have noticed twice the wait for a machine in January, as fitness centres fill up with those who’ve made a choice to change their lifestyle, improving their health and shed some excess pounds.

The improvement in self esteem is another way of combating the ‘winter blues’ often present in January, when the weather is often bleak, and the bright colours, manic streets and happy faces of Christmas are behind us for another year.

Many people take partying very seriously in December... a survey by the Guardian newspaper shows that British people increase their alcohol consumption for the Christmas period more than any other nationality questioned. The famously beer-loving Germans come second, but they only increase alcohol use by 36% over ‘Weihnachten’... UK sales of beer, wine and spirits goes up a whopping 51%... cue the hangovers (and often cringe-worthy memories!)

Even a casual observer of the night life in St Helier will notice full pubs, clubs and party venues at this time of year, suggesting that we share the habit with our mainland counterparts.

For many such ‘annual party animals’, the new year will prompt that ‘old chestnut’ of a promise to oneself “never to drink again...”. Of course, these are by no means the only things that people cite for change (although certainly the most popular!)... the list is endless, and often a highly personal subject.

Whether these promises last the year or longer is very much an individual matter, but lets look at the phenomena of the ‘New Year’s resolution’.

The word ‘resolution’, in itself, has plenty of positive connotations... the dictionary has several uses for the word, but all involve the change of something into something clearer, easier or generally better; It’s the art of the process of resolving something - taking a complex notion and making a simpler one, answering a question or determining that answer. A resolution doesn’t imply ‘trying’ - it implies ‘doing’.

In music, a resolution is the passing of a dissonant chord into a consonant ... often relieving tension in a piece of music, and giving a soothing quality. In medicine, a resolution implies that something is better; cured; healed - requiring no more concern.

It implies firmness of resolve and it’s amongst the most positive words you could apply to almost anything. According to Gretchen Rubin (author of best-selling self-help manual ‘The Happiness Project’); “You hit a goal, you achieve a goal. You keep a resolution”.

Words // Rick Jones • Feature Design // Jon Moore

So how can you make your New Year’s resolution stick?

Well, it’s largely down to the individual - as we said earlier - but here are some things you can do, if you are really serious about keeping your promise to yourself for 2012; • Have the right mindset, from the offset: You have to believe you can do it... if you don’t believe it, no-one can do it for you. Imagine yourself reaping the benefit of your New Years Resolution - the positive changes it will make. Then, get it happening!

• Category Identification: Be clear about what you want, the main point. If there are secondary things that happen because of what you decide, fine, but think of the biggest goal overall - the actual issue - and identify with yourself just what it is and why it’s important.

• Get started: Obvious one, maybe... but the old proverb of ‘a journey begins with the first footstep’ applies here. Nothing starts until it starts... nothing happens until the beginnings are set in motion. The start may be the hardest part, but don’t put off the start, otherwise you are putting off the whole thing by default.

• Set ‘Milestones’: OK, so maybe it won’t happen overnight, whatever it is, but maybe there are steps along the way - targets that may show you are on track. It’s often easier to break a goal into chunks and focus on getting the first chunk done. This allows some sense of achievement early on, and this can boost your optimism. It’s not an endless slog this way, but you keep moving towards that end goal. The feeling of satisfaction is greater with each milestone you reach - the ideal way to keep your spirits up through the year!

• Stick with it: Here’s the thing - the harder that first step was... the harder the milestone was to reach - the more you can be proud of what you’ve done. If it’s worth you deciding that this needed doing, then it’s worth doing - whatever ‘it’ may be.

Here at Jersey Weekly, we want our readers happy and healthy, and we want to hear about your new year’s resolutions... and whether you stuck to them. Please feel free to email us at; letters@ jerseyweekly.com and tell us all about it. We’ll support you wherever we can, and thanks for supporting us, as we enter 2012!

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

FEATURES

Words // Rick Jones • Feature Design // Jon Moore

Environmentalism in 2011

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As mentioned elsewhere in this issue, 2011 started with the National Trust for Jersey seeing in their 75th year - with a concerted effort to highlight green issues and sustainable living. They named it the ‘Green House Project’, and divided it into twelve initiatives; one for each month.

During the year, Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust also played host to former Chief Scientific Advisor to the UK Government; Sir David King, who gave a seminar on climate change and it’s effect on Islands. In July, the International Whaling Commission surprisingly held their annual meeting in Jersey, and were followed to the Island by some very passionate protestors.

Towards the end of the year, unseasonable weather and an unusual lack of rainfall brought many of the energy, water-security and environmental issues addressed by the earlier initiatives sharply into reality for many Islanders.

Over the course of the year, Jersey Weekly kept abreast of many of these developments, and spoke to some of the leading experts in various related fields. Here is a look back over the last year, and perhaps a call to take these matters to heart, and learn from the last twelve months...

As 2010 gave way to 2011, the National Trust for Jersey issued twelve pledges to make its activities more sustainable. Inspired by the START campaign launched by its Patron, HRH The Prince of Wales, the National Trust endeavored to raise awareness about the easily achievable steps we can all take to live a greener and more sustainable life.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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Here at Jersey Weekly, we attempted to find and feature products and services that heeded these calls, in order to help the Island ‘go greener’.

These were; January; ‘Keeping Warm’. Insulation - keeping the heat in their properties with up to date loft insulation, thus saving energy. Although we didn’t cover insulation, in issue 100 we featured the innovative and superbly energy efficient Redwell Infrared heating systems. These offer warmth in the home at 30% less expense to both planet and pocket than traditional systems.

February; ‘Being Brighter’. Eco light-bulbs. Technology has come a long way since Edison’s first lightbulb. Jersey Weekly covered the advantages and disadvantages of various types of electric lighting in issue 104, when we focused on Jersey company, LightRabbit, who offer the most efficient units of all - LED bulb replacements.

March; ‘Drip Dry’; the National Trust added washing lines to all of it’s properties.

April; ‘Dig Deep’; The National Trust added vegetable patches to it’s tenanted properties, and pledged to grow it’s own vegetables and herbs, as well as initiating the community orchard with the RJA & HS. Jersey Weekly covered much to do with food security through the year. We also highlighted the Santander volunteer work at Durrell Wildlife Park, (issue 104) where they expanded and improved the organic farm, enabling them to save a whopping £30,000 per year in transport and food costs. We highlighted this example of how a little effort can save food bills, and reduce the importation needs, and thus fuel bills. Every little helps.

May; ‘Feeding Your Garden’. Composting! Again, we covered the issue of re-using organic materials many times through the year. May also saw Jersey Weekly conduct an interview with ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ finalist - the seven-year-old who charmed the nation with a plea in poem form, that we all take the plight of animals more seriously. Lee Durrell and Olivia spoke about the importance of animals - and how we can live in harmony with them - to Jersey Weekly in one of the most heartfelt interviews we’ve ever featured.

June; ‘Down The Plug Hole’. Saving Water and Energy. The National Trust monitored it’s water usage and means of saving this surprisingly precious commodity. Later in the year, this became a big issue - as we will discuss later in this feature. June saw a visit to the Island from Sir David King, the World authority on the effects of climate change. He gave a talk at Durrell, highlighting the danger posed to Islands by the changes we are seeing - largely man-made - in our global climate. Ironically, fresh water was a large concern, as rising sea levels threaten how much fresh water is left in the World. Without it, we are, frankly, doomed. This issue is big enough to warrant looking up online, should you wish to find out more.

July; ‘Reuse and Refill’. The National Trust gave away free ‘bags for life’ and reusable water bottles. The massive ‘throwaway’ culture and use of non-biodegradable plastics have caused enormous problems, as plastic enters the sea. The collection of plastics at ‘Ocean Gyres’ where currents meet is extremely alarming. Plastic is re-entering the food chain, as it photo-degrades into tiny, yet indestructible fragments, and finds it’s way into plankton - it’s predators and thus eventually into humans.

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FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

In July, the International Whaling committee met in Jersey - delegates from all over the World - to discuss the hunting of Whales in the modern age. Japan, Norway and Iceland are the last vestiges of national industrial/ commercial whaling, and were present in Jersey. Many Non-Government Agencies came with them to protest. Jersey Weekly were the first to talk to the ‘Sea Shepherd Conservation Society’, who brought their state of the art interceptor vessel to the Island, along with their controversial and highly driven leader Paul Watson.

August; ‘Get Your Butt In Gear’. The National Trust began adding rainwater butts to their properties, to conserve and reuse rainwater for various uses.

Later, in the year - in November - Jersey was faced with very low water reservoirs, unseasonably warm/dry weather and potentially even a ban on hosepipe use, the June and August initiatives suddenly made sense. Jersey Weekly spoke to Mr Anthony Pallot, of Jersey Meteorological Department, and got expert information on what was happening, and whether it was down to man made climate change issues. Mr Pallot explained how the water table in Jersey would take a while to recover, and how we were at a disadvantage compared to areas of Southern England with similar weather conditions - who could simply ‘pipe’ water from elsewhere.

September; ‘Creature Comforts’, wildlife gardening. The National Trust pledged to increase and improve wildlife habitats wherever possible.

Jersey Weekly later (issue 111) covered the joint effort from Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust, The States of Jersey Department of Environment and the Société Jersiaise to report the bird population trends of Jersey for the past twenty years. We explained how the bird population offers a snapshot of the biodiversity of an area, and can be used to monitor the overall ‘health’ of an area - environmentally speaking.

October; ‘Wrap It Up’; saving paper. The National Trust now use only re-cycled paper in there offices. Paper production accounts for 34% of deforestation globally. This figure can be cut by diligent recycling and using only recycled materials. Jersey Weekly, of course, recycle any unsold (or un-picked up, previous to our going paid) and use only recycled paper in our offices.

November; ‘Think Twice, Buy Local’: Along with the National Trust’s pledge to use local suppliers and contractors, they promised to only source timber from suppliers who guarantee that they harvest timber from sustainable forestry. Of course, when it comes to covering products, services and produce, Jersey Weekly has always promoted local, Jersey suppliers, producers and providers.

December; ‘One Man’s Rubbish Is Another Man’s Treasure: The National Trust are implementing and Architectural Salvage Scheme - this will generate funding as well as saving money for their building renovations.

Recycling is more and more often becoming the best option for everything from building materials to furniture. Back in July, we covered the recycling initiative by local music festival promoters Allez-Oop... they of ‘Grass Roots’ Eco Music Festival fame. Our classifieds are always a good spot to find something you may want or need... particularly with the amount of plastics clogging landfill and waterways. Before you buy new, see if what you are looking for can be found cheaper, and at less cost to the environment.

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

FEATURES

Ironically, many of the things people can do that benefit the World around us require little more than some effort and possibly a small financial outlay - but they usually involve savings in costs of energy, water or food later on that bring far greater returns to the individual or family, as well as our environment.

The National Trust managed to demonstrate this with a number of the elements of ‘The Green House Project’, although the challenges they face - as do we all - are increasingly tough as the population in Jersey grows.

Lands Manager Jon Horn told us;

“Quite simply, if the population of Jersey continues to increase then it will affect environmentally sensitive areas. It’s cause and effect. As we only have a finite amount of space on this Island, it is inevitable that as the number of people goes up then there will be a requirement to provide extra houses and services, to grow or import more food and to provide a greater supply of drinking water etc. So tragically the fall guy to accommodate these needs is the countryside.”

“Available buildings and brown spaces sites can absorb most of this growth with regards to the provision of housing, but it is also likely that some fields and green space will be lost to development. However the Island does possess an Island Plan, and this does offer protection to areas of special rural and environmental interest. Although these special areas are largely afforded protection from development they and their wildlife also do not get away scott-free from the pressures of a larger population. The main factor affecting them will be an increase in recreational users and this may be in the guise of walkers, dog walkers,mountain bikers, horse riders or model plane clubs for example. This is something that we are already noticing is happening.”

“When more people visit a site then the disturbance level to wildlife increases and this can have significant consequences on animals or birds that perhaps nest on the ground or are more shy and secretive in their habits. More people will also mean an increase in anti-social issues in the countryside such as more litter, dog mess, vandalism, fly tipping, camping, parties and fires.”

“Thankfully the vast majority of people are very respectful for the countryside and its nature so it’s not as bad as it sounds and indeed there are several things that we can do as lands managers and conservationists to better protect are natural treasures: things such as by raising awareness of these environmentally important areas, creating a degree of local pride in them, through legislation, better management of the footpath network so by routing people around sensitive areas, fencing off the most important areas and by better liaison with the local community.”

“However ultimately if we all want to appreciate these wonderful ecological riches that we are blessed to have on our doorstep for many years to come, then it’s up to everyone of us to be mindful of our behaviour whilst in the countryside ensuring that our impact is as minimal as possible.”

“To coin the phrase the only thing that we should leave behind is our footsteps.”

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39

FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust Madagascar Diaries Words // Rick Jones • Feature Design // Jon Moore 2011 was the 25th anniversary of Durrell’s work with local communities in the Island nation of Madagascar. During the year, the Trust celebrated this quarter of a century of field programmes with a Madagascar themed ‘Durrell Day’ and held a very successful ‘Madagascar 25 Soiree’ at the Grand Hotel, that raised over £44,000 for the continuation of work there. Durrell’s Head of Marketing, Ms Kelly Barker recently left her desk at the Jersey headquarters, and headed out to the forests and mountains of Madagascar, and in her own words; “experienced the real Madagascar, including the highs and lows that the Durrell team based there face every day.”

Sometimes referred to as ‘The Eighth Continent’, Madagascar is a Global Icon for biological diversity. It contains many species of animals and plants that simply do not occur anywhere else in the World. In fact, it’s isolated position has provided evidence of ‘convergent evolution’, with animals evolving to take roles in the ecosystem occupied by unrelated species in other parts of the globe.

Lemurs, for example, are endemic to Madagascar. Although they are primates like monkeys, apes and even humans, they have evolved on an entirely different ‘path’ than the aforementioned cousins, and adapted uniquely to fill ‘niches’ in the climate, food chain and life cycles that the Island presents.

Many of the one-hundred or so species of Lemur face extinction due to deforestation, hunting and habitat loss due to human expansion... and they are not alone amongst Madagascar’s unique animals. The Island is also home to the rarest tortoise species in the World... the Ploughshare Tortoise, or ‘Angonoka’.

The Ploughshare Tortoise was the first species that Durrell worked with in Madagascar, in 1986. The Ploughshare tortoise was on the brink of extinction due to the loss of its habitat, and in response to this emergency situation, the Government of Madagascar invited Durrell to set up a breeding centre, to act as a safety net for the species, and allow future reintroduction into the wild.

Twenty-five years on, and work in the Island nation has been ongoing for the whole period. The main focus of Durrell’s efforts is reducing human impact on the Environment, and then species re-introduction can be more effective. The Island is poor, and locals have hunted and exploited animals for gain, often with no understanding of the ‘limits’ of pressure that they have put on the species’ involved. Durrell educate in these matters, so that re-introduction isn’t such an uphill struggle in preserving species.

Head of Marketing, Kelly Barker - along with her team - usually plays her invaluable part in the overall efforts of Durrell from the Headquarters of the Trust - the Wildlife Park in Trinity - here in Jersey. Kelly is responsible for raising much of the funding through sales, visits to the wildlife park and events (such as the aforementioned ‘soiree’). Durrell rely on skillful marketing as much as donations, so that they can continue the mission of founder Gerald Durrell OBE. On October 23rd of 2011, Kelly left her office at the Wildlife Park, and with an overflowing backpack, started her journey to see how her colleagues in Madagascar do there part in the efforts of the Trust.

On Durrell’s website, www.durrell.org, Kelly has begun publishing articles, photos and videos of her trip, in a series of ‘Madagascar Diaries’.

In her own words;

“On 23rd October 2011 I visited Madagascar, Durrell’s biggest conservation programme, to see first hand how Durrell has been working with the local communities to save some of the country’s most iconic species, for 25 years.”

“We will be releasing weekly installments of My Madagascar Diaries for you to watch (and read). See how I experienced the real Madagascar, including the highs and lows that the Durrell team based in Madagascar face every day.”

For those interested in Kelly’s journey, not to mention the ongoing work in what has become Durrell’s largest and arguably most successful overseas project, the whole series will soon be posted at www.durrell.org/md

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

FEATURES

Apart from her battles with mosquitos, Kelly attended the ‘Festival du Songatana’, met with local communities and got to experience first hand the challenges involved - as well as how the resources she works so hard to secure are administered and utilised.

There can be few things more rewarding than seeing the fruits of your labour, particularly when it involves saving our non-human fellow planet dwellers from permanent extinction.

We are sure Kelly will feel extremely validated for the hard work her and her team have put in over the years, and will continue her role with a new appreciation for the people at the ‘other end’ of Durrell’s work.

We highly recommend that any of our readers with an interest check out the links listed above, and see just how committed the team at Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust are... It may bring new insight and appreciation next time you visit the Wildlife Park.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

42

FEATURES

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

THE CLUB SPA ’ S NEW SWEET TREATMENT !

CHOCOLATE LOVERS… RE AD ON !

The Club Spa introduces their new Chocolate Treatment - a truly lavish and delicious experience, putting the ‘treat’ in treatment. Jersey Weekly went along to try out the new treatment and here is how it went…

What a way to spend a couple of hours, relaxing in The Club Spa’s beautiful, cosy relaxation room, sipping herbal tea and flicking through the pages of Vogue magazine, before being taken into their treatment rooms to be utterly pampered… Lisa, the lady who was treating me to my afternoon of bliss, met me and talked me through the Chocolate Treatment – explaining the benefits and how the treatment would make my skin all silky soft and feel fabulous.

Before starting the Chocolate Treatment, Lisa gave me a body brush and mineral salt scrub, which prepared my skin for the chocolate application. As Lisa was stirring the chocolate mixture, I couldn’t resist a little taste – it was the purest chocolate; think bitter, dark chocolate as opposed to a tasty Galaxy bar! It’s clearly not for eating – although once it was applied, I have to say, I did smell good enough to eat!

Benefits of the luxurious Chocolate Treatment: • Chocolate is very moisturising, softening skin.

• Smoothes the skin and leaves a luminous glow.

• Cocoa contains glycerides which deliver moisturising lipids and fats which plumps out wrinkles • Detoxifies the pores of the skin • Firms and tones the skin • Smell is a most powerful evocative sense, stimulating memory and emotions. The scent of chocolate stimulates your ‘happy feeling’ endorphins. These feelings of well-being and relaxation tend to increase fat reduction.

• Chocolate lovers will receive great pleasure indulging in a Chocolate Body Wrap, increasing your sense of well-being.

• Chocolate contains over 300 different compounds some of which can have a significant impact on ones health and beauty:• Theobromine, a substance similar to caffeine, stimulates the circulatory system and produces a slimming effect on the body.

• Magnesium, potassium and calcium have a calming effect, thus reducing stress.

• Polyphenols, antioxidants that thwart free radicals which are responsible for aging.

The application was a decadent process, I felt like Cleopatra without the ass’ milk. Once applied, I remained lay on the heated bed, wrapped in a warm plastic sheet, then towels and blankets – feeling every inch the pampered princess. Lisa then gave me a beautiful facial pressure point massage and a soothing scalp massage with essential oils, which left me well - asleep!

After twenty minutes or so it was time to shower off my chocolate, as it washed away, my skin was left in the silkiest condition – soft and nourished. It was then time for a full body massage with re-hydrating mineral body cream and a bit more relaxing…

Chocolate has been proven to be full of goodness; brimming with antioxidants and the ability to encourage our endorphins – no doubt why 99% of women love the stuff… Being wrapped in chocolate has to be one of the most luxurious experiences I have ever had in a spa. It had a snug and homely feel about it – the smell was just amazing and although I did smell rather like a tasty treat, it wasn’t potent, or sickly…

So, aside from being a wonderfully luxurious experience, chocolate treatments are indeed very good for the skin, body and mind…

The Club Spa Chocolate Treatments can be booked for one or two people…

My experience was the Chocolate Envelepoment which is priced at £75 – a great gift to a loved one or as a treat to yourself… I would recommend this treatment to everyone and can’t wait to go again! To book a Chocolate Treatment at The Club Spa call 876500 or email events@theclubjersey.com

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43

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

At the Cinema

- Available in 3D

Compiled by Jason Bourgeois, news@jerseyweekly.com

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows The world’s most brilliant detective must face his nemesis the fiendish Professor Moriarty! When the Crown Prince of Austria is found dead, Sherlock Holmes soon suspects the involvement of criminal mastermind Professor Moriarty.

Realising that this is just one piece of a larger plot, Holmes tracks the clues to a gentleman’s club where he and his brother Mycroft are celebrating the last night of bachelorhood for Dr Watson. Here he meets gypsy fortune-teller Sim, who has become Moriarty’s next target. So begins a thrill-packed, continent-hopping and - bizarrely! - cross-dressing adventure, with nothing less than the future of western civilisation at stake! Director Guy Ritchie’s follow-up to his hit ‘Sherlock Holmes’ reunites the brilliant double act of Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law. It also introduces ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ star Noomi Rapace in her first English-language role, with the added attraction of Stephen Fry as Mycroft.

82%

7.0

Happy Feet 2

Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn A lot has happened since we last caught up with everybody’s favourite hoofing flightless bird. Mumble and the love of his life, Gloria - better known as , now have a son of their own named Erik. But just like his father before him, Erik is having trouble finding his way in the penguin world. The poor little fella suffers from a fear of dancing! Struggling to discover his true talent, he encounters an amazing flying penguin called The Mighty Sven.

42%

6.6

Hugo

90%

7.8

Alvin & The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked Young Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield) was given a strange mechanical figure with a heart-shaped keyhole by his late father (Jude Law). Now living in the hidden spaces of a Paris train station, where he must constantly dodge the stationmaster, orphaned Hugo encounters an adventurous girl named Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz). She’s intrigued by his life, and he’s astonished to find that the key she possesses fits the bizarre automaton.

94%

44

When bequiffed young journalist Tintin buys a model of the good ship Unicorn, he also acquires a clue to a great mystery. With his faithful hound Snowy in tow, our intrepid hero embarks on a quest that unites him for the first time with drunken seadog Captain Haddock. Together, they unravel the secret of an ancient feud involving Haddock’s ancestor Francis and notorious pirate Red Rackham. Uses stateof-the-art performance capture technology.

8.6

Having spent much of ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel’ in hospital, long-suffering Dave Seville (Jason Lee) decides to go on a luxury cruise. But of course he can’t go without chipmunks Alvin, Theodore and Simon.

Naturally, chipettes Jeanette, Eleanor and Brittany come along too. But with all six mischievous rodents together in a confined space, chaos is bound to ensue as they turn the ship into their personal playground.

51%

6.8

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Telephone Bookings:

0871 200 2000*

The Waterfront Centre St. Helier JE2 4HE *Only 10 pence per minute from a BT landline. Mobile and other providers may vary. Movie Listings subject to change

New Year’s Eve

Twilight: Breaking Dawn pt 1 In Times Square, preparations are afoot for New Year’s Eve. For producer Claire Morgan, this is also the biggest moment of her career. Elsewhere in New York City, the lives of a variety of couples and singles intertwine.

People like heavily pregnant Tess, who’s about to give birth, and Harry, who’s nearing the end of his life. Rock star Jensen is having relationship troubles, while frustrated Ingrid comes up with a novel way of dealing with her unfulfilled resolutions.

95%

This latest installment, ‘Breaking Dawn - Part 1’, opens with Bella and Edward’s much-anticipated wedding itself! But despite the fact that Bella has now chosen her husband, the saga’s conflict is far from over. During a dream honeymoon on Isle Esme, the newly married couple finally give in to their passions. But this only brings them more peril as Bella discovers she’s pregnant! The wolf pack considers her unborn child such a threat that they begin to move against her.

N/A

8.1

Puss in Boots

4.1

Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas The legend of Shrek’s feline friend is revealed in this 3D animated comedy spin-off! Ever wondered what Puss in Boots got up to before he joined Shrek and Donkey? Now the story can be told. The young Puss grows up in a modest orphanage, where his best friend is a misbehaving egg named Humpty Dumpty. As an adult, the ginger tom’s stylish line in footwear worn with no pants makes him a hit with the ladies while he sets about protecting the innocent.

82%

7.0

Several years after they escaped from Guantanamo Bay, stoner buddies Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) have grown apart. Where once their lives revolved around fulfilling a mutual craving for munchies, now they have new friends and different goals. But on Christmas Eve, a mysterious package arrives on Kumar’s doorstep.

25%

7.1

COMING SOON...

Ratings taken from ROTTEN TOMATOES (www.RottenTomatoes.com) All information correct at time of writing

Rotten Tomatoes, the Certified Fresh Logo, the ‘Fresh Tomato’ logo and the ‘Rotten Splat’ logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of Flixster, Inc. in the United States and other countries.

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45

TV GUIDE

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Christmas TV Highlights 8 out of 10 Cats Christmas Special 23rd December - 9.00pm - Channel 4 The comedy panel show’s cracking Christmas special, hosted by Jimmy Carr.

There are familiar faces from the world of Panto in a seasonal face-off special, including Keith Harris and Orville, Arlene Phillips, Nikki Grahame and Brian Belo.

With lots of Christmas-themed questions and a sprinkling of tinsel, 8 Out of 10 Cats will be celebrating the season of goodwill in true festive style.

Lapland Christmas Eve - 10.00pm - BBC One Festive comedy drama. The Lewis family are determined to leave their troubles at home in Birkenhead when they set out for Lapland in search of Santa, huskies, reindeer, and hopefully the mysterious Northern Lights.

However, they soon discover that baggage is not so easily left behind, but also that magic can be found in the most unexpected places.

Doctor Who Christmas Special Christmas Day - 7.00pm - BBC One The festive adventure involves Madge Arwell and her two children, Lily and Cyril.

When they’re evacuated from war-torn London to a house in Dorset, they’re greeted by a madcap caretaker whose mysterious Christmas gift leads them into a magical wintry world... The Doctor adventures with them in the hope of giving them their best Christmas ever.

Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs Boxing Day - 7.00pm - Channel 5 Which songs really break the ice at Christmas? The Jackson 5’s Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Greg Lake’s I Believe in Father Christmas or Jona Lewie’s Stop the Cavalry are on many lists. Do They Know It’s Christmas? might still ring true, but has Mud’s Lonely this Christmas passed its sell-by date? And where would we be without The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl’s Fairytale of New York or the Waitresses’ Christmas Wrapping?

Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 27th December - 9.00pm - Channel 4 Jimmy Carr puts a panel of A list celebrities to the test as they battle it out to see who remembers most about the events of 2011.

Can you remember which celebrity was ‘Winning’ this year? Which sportsman had his secrets spilled in the House of Commons? And how on earth did select committee hearings become the must-watch TV of the summer?

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

TV GUIDE

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

New YearTV Highlights Frozen Planet Christmas Special 28th December - 7.00pm - BBC One Highlights of the recent series in which David Attenborough takes viewers on a spectacular journey through the polar year, from the depths of winter to the melting world of the summer.

In the south, spring begins for the male Adelie penguins as they build nests and attract mates, then in the following season the parents struggle to raise their chicks before the big freeze of autumn.

Paddy’s Show and Telly 29th December - 9.00pm - ITV1 Welcome to the beginning of the end of 2011. A mighty year of TV by any standards, some are saying the best since they cut Bread. Not content to let the televisual events of the last 12 months go without a bang, Take Me Out host Paddy McGuiness is here to show us the best of the best, the worst of the worst and to find out whether we’ve all been paying attention.

Mrs Dickens’ Family Christmas 30th December - 9.00pm - BBC Two Dame Judi Dench may be a Hollywood superstar now, but to say she’s paid her dues is a bit of an understatement. This documentary, which spans her 50-year career, shows her first TV appearance in Z Cars and her time in gentle sitcomland with A Fine Romance and As Time Goes By. But it wasn’t until she became “a newcomer in her 60s” playing M in Goldeneye and bagging awards for Mr Brown and Shakespeare In Love that she was unleashed as an international star.

Jools Holland’s Annual Hootenanny New Year’s Eve - 11.15pm - BBC Two Joining Jools Holland for his annual knees-up is a host of stars from all walks of British life and the odd polar bear. There’s a variety of guest singers sitting in with Jools’s Rhythm & Blues Orchestra alongside some of the star turns of 2011. As well as providing the best New Year’s Eve do, the Hootenanny welcomes talent of all descriptions, reflecting on the departing year and what 2012 has in store for them.

I am Legend (Movie) New Year’s Day - 9.00pm - ITV 2 Robert Neville is a scientist who was unable to stop the spread of the terrible virus that was incurable and man-made. Immune, Neville is now the last human survivor in what is left of New York City and perhaps the world.

For three years, Neville has faithfully sent out daily radio messages, desperate to find any other survivors who might be out there.

885930 Email: Sales@JerseyWeekly.com Phone:

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd23rd December 2011 Friday, December

Friday 23rd

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:15 Rip Off Britain 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer (R) 10:58 BBC News; Weather 11:00 Real Rescues (R) 11:30 Cash in the Attic 12:13 BBC News; Weather 12:15 Bargain Hunt (R) 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News; Weather 1:40 Only Fools and Horses (R) 2:30 Keeping Up Appearances (R) 3:00 Escape to the Country 3:45 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30 Flog It! (R) 5:15 Pointless (R) 6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:30 Spotlight; Weather 7:00 The One Show Alex Jones and Chris Evans are joined by actor David Jason, who talks about his return to comedy in the new series The Royal Bodyguard, which starts on BBC1 on Boxing Day. 8:00 EastEnders Masood sneaks into Zainab’s house in a bid to rescue her, but discovers she still does not know where Kamil is. Ricky tries to tell Bianca about his night with Mandy.

8:30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook Highlights and reminiscences from the pair’s partnership.

9:00 Have I Got News for You Christmas Special With guest host Martin Clunes.

9:30 Miranda The joke-shop owner dreams of the perfect Christmas. (R) 10:00 BBC News 10:25 Regional News; Weather 10:35 The Graham Norton Show Christmas Special With Matt Smith and Russell Kane.

11:35 The National Lottery: 25 Christmas Millionaires 11:50 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson Sketches, including Alan Carr doing his day job. (R) 12:20 EastEnders 2:20 Weatherview 2:25 Sign Zone: Lorraine’s Last Minute Christmas (R) 3:25 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 9:20 FILM: Pinocchio (PG) (2002) Fantasy adventure, starring Roberto Benigni. Dubbed in English.

11:00 Lorraine’s Last Minute Christmas (R) 12:00 Restoration Home A visit to Calverton Manor, a medieval house near Milton Keynes. (R) 1:00 Weakest Link General knowledge quiz.

1:45 To Buy or Not to Buy (R) 2:30 FILM: The Heroes of Telemark (PG) (1965) Second World War thriller, starring Kirk Douglas and Richard Harris.

4:35 Coast 5:05 Antiques Road Trip (R) 5:50 Celebrity Eggheads 6:20 FILM: Nativity! (U) (2009) Premiere. Comedy, starring Martin Freeman.

8:00 Raymond Blanc’s Christmas Feast The chef serves his take on festive lunch with a menu of starters, main courses and desserts, sharing a few professional secrets and some classic French culinary traditions. (R) 9:00 The Many Lovers of Miss Jane Austen Amanda Vickery explores the writer’s popularity.

10:00 QI More highlights from the recent series of the quiz, featuring celebrities including Jo Brand, David Mitchell and Jimmy Carr. Hosted by Stephen Fry. Last in the series.

10:30 FILM: Tamara Drewe (15) (2010) Premiere. A journalist returns to the sleepy town where she grew up, becoming an object of obsession for every man in the village. Comedy, with Gemma Arterton and Dominic Cooper.

12:15 The Rob Brydon Show Xmas Special With Noel Fielding, Sarah Harding, Rhys Darby and Angelos Epithemiou. (R) 12:45 FILM: Merry Christmas (12) (2005) Fact-based First World War drama, starring Benno Furmann and Diane Kruger.

2:30 BBC News 3:25 Close

5:30 ITV Morning News 6:00 Daybreak 8:30 Lorraine 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas 10:30 This Morning 12:30 Loose Women 1:30 ITV News 1:55 Channel News and Weather 2:00 May the Best House Win 3:00 Midsomer Murders (R) 4:59 Channel Weather 5:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 6:00 Channel News; Weather 6:10 We Wish You a Merry Christmas 6:30 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Amy decides to bring Kyle home for Christmas after seeking advice from Debbie, but Eric begins to sense she is having doubts. Nikhil shares his concerns about Jai with Gennie.

7:30 Coronation Street Katy goes into labour as she takes over Faye’s role as Mary in the nativity play. Becky breaks down and begs Tracy to tell Steve the truth, while Sian has a surprise for Sophie.

8:00 The Lakes at Christmas Micro pig farmer Rob Rose makes preparations for his six sows due to give birth over the festive period, and hotelier Thomas Noblett has a surprise for his wife on Christmas Day. 8:30 Coronation Street Chesney and Gary try to reach Katy as she gives birth.

9:00 The Jonathan Ross Show With Tom Cruise and the Inbetweeners stars.

10:15 ITV News 10:45 Channel News and Weather 10:50 FILM: Eyes Wide Shut (18) (1999) Stanley Kubrick’s drama, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

1:35 Countrywise Paul Heiney visits Whitby, North Yorkshire. (R) 2:00 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery (R) 2:50 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) ITV News Headlines 3:30 FILM: The Fog (15) (1980) Horror, starring Adrienne Barbeau.

5:05 ITV Nightscreen

6:15 The Treacle People (R) 6:25 The Hoobs (R) 6:50 The Hoobs (R) 7:15 Freshly Squeezed 7:45 Perfect Couples 8:10 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:05 Frasier (R) 9:40 Frasier (R) 10:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 10:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 11:10 The Simpsons (R) 11:40 The Simpsons (R) 12:10 FILM: Three Men and a Baby (PG) (1987) Comedy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

2:05 FILM: Hocus Pocus (PG) (1993) Supernatural Disney comedy, starring Bette Midler.

4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Christmas Coach Trip 5:30 Come Dine with Me 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:40 4thought.tv 7:45 Gordon’s Christmas Cookalong – Get Ready 8:00 Come Dine with Me: Comedians Christmas Special Sean Hughes, Gina Yashere, Paul Tonkinson and Duncan Norvelle compete.

9:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special 10:00 Home for the Holidays 11:10 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R) 12:10 The Inbetweeners (R) 12:45 The Inbetweeners (R) 1:20 The Inbetweeners (R) 1:45 The Inbetweeners (R) 2:15 The Inbetweeners (R) 2:40 The Inbetweeners (R) 3:10 Random Acts 3:15 Happy Endings 3:40 Happy Endings 4:00 Mesh (R) 4:05 St Elsewhere (R) 4:55 Brothers & Sisters (R) 5:45 FILM: Hoot (PG) (2006) Family comedy adventure, starring Luke Wilson.

6:00 Milkshake!

9:50 Disney’s 12 Days of Christmas: Clock Cleaners 10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:05 World’s Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers (R) 12:05 Ice Road Truckers (R) 1:05 5 News Lunchtime 1:10 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 1:30 FILM: Eloise at Christmastime (PG) (2004) Festive family comedy, starring Julie Andrews.

3:15 FILM: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (PG) (2002) Family comedy, starring Connie Sellecca.

5:00 5 News at 5 5:30 Top 20 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 6:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R) 6:55 The Whalers 7:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers The fourth and final qualifying round held in Poltava, Ukraine; 5 News Update 8:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads The drivers face their most dangerous mission yet as they deliver barrels of aviation fuel to a helicopter rescue base. Last in the series; 5 News Update 9:00 The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show Festive special from 1980, in which the duo appear in their version of Hamlet, with Peter Barkworth playing the title role and Hannah Gordon as Ophelia. (R) 10:05 The Tommy Cooper Hour A seasonal special from the archives. (R) 11:10 FILM: Up the Chastity Belt (PG) (1971) The identical twin of Richard the Lionheart is raised as a serf, and struggles to keep a cowardly knight out of trouble. Medieval comedy, starring Frankie Howerd and Graham Crowden.

1:00 SuperCasino 4:05 Motorsport Mundial 4:30 Great Scientists (R) 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 Great TV Mistakes On-screen mishaps and continuity errors. 7:15 Shrek the Halls Festive animated short, starring the lovable ogre. 7:35 Film: Shrek (U) (2001) Animated adventure, with the voice of Mike Myers. 9:00 Shrek: Once Upon A Time 10:00 EastEnders 10:30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00 Family Guy 11:45 Film: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG) (1993) 12:55 Shrek: Once Upon A Time 1:55 How Not to Live Your Life 2:55 The Pranker 5:25 Close

7:00 The Royal Ballet in The Nutcracker Alina Cojocaru and Anthony Dowell star in Tchaikovsky’s festive ballet. 9:00 The Joy of Country A history of country music from the 1920s to the present day.

10:05 Country at the BBC Featuring Tammy Wynette, Emmylou Harris, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton. 11:35 Dolly Parton: Platinum Blonde 12:35 Folk Music at Christmas 1:35 Soul Noel: Gospel & Soul Stars Singing Christmas 2:40 The Joy of Country 3:45 Country at the BBC 4:45 Close

6:00 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 7:55 Goodbye Mr Chips 10:00 Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide 12:00 Film: Columbo: Uneasy Lies the Crown (PG) (1990) Crime drama, with Peter Falk.

2:00 Film: City of Angels (PG) (1998) 4:15 Mr Bean 4:50 The History of Mr Polly 6:45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7:55 Mr Bean 9:00 Clash of the Santas 11:00 Joe Maddison’s War 12:50 Film: Shakespeare in Love (15) (1998) 2:55 Terry and June 3:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:40 Emmerdale

6:00 Film File 6:10 The Professionals 7:00 Minder 7:55 The Sweeney 8:45 The Fall Guy 9:45 Batman 10:45 The Professionals 11:50 Quantum Leap 12:50 Minder 1:50 The Sweeney 2:50 The Fall Guy 3:55 Batman 4:55 The Professionals 5:55 Quantum Leap 6:55 Imploders 8:00 River Monsters 9:00 Film: Rocky V (PG) (1990) Boxing drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone. 11:10 The Fight of Their Lives 12:40 Film: Demolition Man (15) (1993) 2:55 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 8:00 The Real A&E 9:00 Customs 10:00 Bite Size Brainiac 10:15 Film: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (PG) (2001) Fantasy adventure, starring Byron Taylor. 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Customs 3:00 Customs UK 7:00 Dog Squad 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin 10:00 Cop Squad 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Real Filth Fighters 1:50 Luton Airport 2:40 My Pet Shame 3:30 Nothing But the Truth 4:20 Wedding SOS 5:10 Guilty!

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd23rd December 2011 Friday, December

2011

Friday 23rd

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family Christmas (R) 11:30 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle Christmas (R) 12:30 The Middle Christmas (R) 1:00 Futurama Christmas (R) 1:30 Futurama Christmas (R) 2:00 Safebreakers (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS (R) 4:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 5:00 Simpsons Christmas (R) 5:30 Simpsons Christmas (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 Simpsons Christmas (R) 7:00 Christmas Emergency with Angela Griffin Festive edition of the series following the actress as she heads to Cardiff and Glasgow to witness the pressure placed on paramedics during the Christmas period. (R) 8:00 The Cafe The Cyril’s regulars hold a surprise party for Carol. (R) 8:30 The Simpsons Homer discovers a talent for styling hair. (R) 9:00 Johnny Vegas’s Little Cracker A young Johnny is forced to dress as Father Christmas. Last in the series.

9:15 Barbara Windsor’s Little Cracker A young Barbara buys her first bra. (R) 9:30 Trollied Julie seizes a chance to take charge in Gavin’s absence. (R) 10:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Karl Pilkington watches whales in Alaska. (R) 11:00 A League of Their Own Christmas Special With guests Ricky Hatton and Ruth Jones. (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand Spartacus fights in the pits. (R) 1:05 Cop Squad (R) 2:05 Mental (R) 2:55 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Special (R) 3:25 Deadwood (R) 4:20 Hello Goodbye (R) 5:10 A Different Breed (R)

6:00 Coronation Street (R) 6:25 Emmerdale (R) 6:50 Emmerdale (R) 7:20 Pushing Daisies (R) 8:05 Judge Judy (R) 9:25 Nanny 911 (R) 10:30 Judge Judy (R) 12:00 Coronation Street (R) 12:30 Emmerdale (R) 12:55 Emmerdale (R) 1:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show: Five Days of Christmas Guests air their differences. (R) 2:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show Guests air their differences. (R) 3:30 Loose Women Topical debate from a female perspective. (R) 4:30 All Star Mr & Mrs Featuring Ronan Keating, Tamzin Outhwaite and Terry Venables. (R) 5:25 All Star Family Fortunes The Dingles of Emmerdale take on Hollyoaks’ McQueens. (R) 6:10 FILM: Ice Age: The Meltdown (U) (2006) Animated adventure sequel, with the voice of Ray Romano.

8:00 The X Factor USA The votes of the viewing public have been counted and Steve Jones reveals which act has won the first series of The X Factor USA. Last in the series.

10:00 Peter Andre Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories An extended version of the ITV1 interview, in which the singer and reality star discusses his career and life away from the spotlight since his divorce in 2009 from Katie Price. (R) 11:30 FILM: The Nutty Professor (PG) (1996) A shy, overweight professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. Comedy remake, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith and James Coburn.

Includes FYI Daily.

1:30 Perez Hilton Superfan: Kelly Rowland (R) 2:25 Coronation Street (R) 2:50 Coronation Street (R) 3:15 Emmerdale (R) 3:40 All Star Mr & Mrs (R) 4:30 Teleshopping

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:30 Wildfire (R) 8:25 One Tree Hill (R) 9:20 Gilmore Girls (R) 10:10 Smallville (R) 11:05 Desperate Housewives (R) 12:00 Greek (R) 1:00 Scrubs (R) 1:30 Scrubs (R) 2:00 Hollyoaks (R) 2:35 Gilmore Girls (R) 3:30 Desperate Housewives (R) 4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 4:55 Scrubs (R) 5:25 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks The soap pays a festive tribute to It’s a Wonderful Life, with an angel in the form of Steph Roach returning to the village to help Doug realise the value of his life.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother The gang realises Barney’s mother has lied to him about his father’s true identity. (R) 8:00 Desperate Scousewives Chris and Mark debate having a baby, Gill has a near-catastrophe at the hairdresser’s, and Layla’s search for the truth leads her to an unexpected new friendship. (R) 9:00 Hollyoaks Best Bits 2011 The cast, crew and fans of the teen soap celebrate their favourite on-screen moments from the past year in a light-hearted awards show. Presented by Will Best and Alex Carter.

10:00 FILM: Hostage (15) (2005) A former hostage negotiator draws on his old skills to save children held captive in their own home by a gang of crazed delinquents. Thriller, with Bruce Willis.

12:15 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:05 Scrubs (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 2:00 How I Met Your Mother (R) 2:25 Hollyoaks Best Bits 2011 (R) 3:20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R) 4:15 Rules of Engagement (R) 4:35 Wildfire (R) 5:20 Switched (R)

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 7:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Football Special 10:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 11:30 Football Special 1:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 1:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 2:00 Premier League World 2:30 Football Special 4:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 4:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 5:00 Premier League Review 6:00 Football League Weekend 7:00 Live Darts 11:00 Premier League Review 12:00 Football League Weekend 1:00 Take It Like a Fan 1:30 Super League 2:00 Premier League Review 3:00 Football League Weekend 4:00 Take It Like a Fan 4:30 Super League 5:00 Premier League Review

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations The cuisine and music of the California desert. 9:00 Big Love 10:15 Alex Crawford: A Year to Remember 11:15 In Treatment 1:30 Bored to Death 2:40 The Sopranos 3:55 Big Love 5:10 Inside the Actors Studio

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 2:00 Burn Notice 2:55 5* Access 3:00 Knight Rider 5:00 Film: The Princess Bride (PG) (1987) Comic fantasy adventure, starring Cary Elwes.

7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Film: The Exorcism of Emily Rose (18) (2005) A lawyer defends a priest charged with manslaughter after an attempted exorcism of a student has fatal consequences. Horror, with Tom Wilkinson and Laura Linney. 11:20 Sex and the City 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:10 Film: Noel (PG) (2004) Drama, starring Susan Sarandon. 2:10 Film: Three Wise Guys (PG) (2005) Comedy, starring Eddie McClintock. 4:00 Human Target 6:00 Law & Order A stockbroker meets a sticky end. 7:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 Film: Resident Evil: Extinction (15) (2007) Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Milla Jovovich. 10:50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11:45 True Justice 12:45 Inside Hollywood 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

7:05 Dragons’ Den 8:00 Top Gear 10:00 Red Dwarf 10:40 Have I Got News for You 11:20 QI 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Three Men in More Than One Boat 3:00 Red Dwarf 3:40 Have I Got News for You 4:20 QI 5:00 Top Gear 7:00 Three Men in More Than One Boat Part two of two. Rory McGrath visits his birthplace. 8:00 Jo Brand’s Big Splash The comedienne performs a stand-up set. 9:00 QI XL 10:00 Al Murray: Giving It Both Barrels 1:50 QI XL 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

6:00 Aerobics 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Raw 9:00 Trans World Sport 10:00 Darts 2:00 The Rugby Club 3:00 Racemax 4:00 Kings of the Snow 4:30 Powerboating 5:00 NFL 6:00 Live Championship Rugby Union 8:30 Super League 9:00 Premier League Review 10:00 Take It Like a Fan 10:30 Super League 11:00 NFL 12:00 NFL 2:00 Volvo Ocean Race 2:30 Championship Rugby Union 5:00 Powerboating 5:30 Road to London

10:00 Racemax 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 NFL 2:00 Kings of the Snow 2:30 Aerobics Oz Style 3:00 Trans World Sport 4:00 WWE: Raw 6:00 Elite League Ice Hockey 7:00 Tight Lines Keith Arthur hosts the fishing show, which includes a studio guest, features from around the world and emails from viewers. 8:00 NFL 10:00 WWE: Late Night – Smackdown 12:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 1:00 Tight Lines 2:00 Elite League Ice Hockey 3:00 Powerboating 3:30 Road to London 4:00 Volvo Ocean Race 4:30 Tight Lines 5:30 Kings of the Snow

The Many Lovers of Miss Jane Austen 9.00pm on BBC TWO Amanda Vickery explores the writer’s popularity, talking to scholars and devotees to consider why the plots and characters continue to delight, amuse and provoke. Featuring contributions by Andrew Davies and Charles Spencer.

The Jonathan Ross Show 9.00pm on itv 1 Tom Cruise takes time out from his busy schedule to tell Jonathan all about his new film Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol in this Christmas special. The show also features Inbetweeners stars Simon Bird, Joe Thomas, James Buckley and Blake Harrison, chatting about the phenomenal success of their movie.

8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special 9.00pm on Channel 4 Jedward, Micky Flanagan, Liza Tarbuck and Greg Davies join team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock on a festive edition of the panel show.

11:00 Carry On Teacher (U) (1959) 12:45 The Quiet Man (U) (1952) 3:20 Local Hero (PG) (1983) 5:30 Ocean Waves (PG) (1993) 7:00 Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (PG) (1984) Sci-fi sequel, with William Shatner. 9:00 Hitman (15) (2007) Action thriller, starring Timothy Olyphant. 10:50 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Interview Special 11:00 Fight Club (18) (1999) Drama, starring Brad Pitt. 1:45 Choke (18) (2008) Comedy drama, starring Sam Rockwell. 3:45 Close

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49

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Saturday, 24th December

Saturday 24th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 The Nativity (R) 10:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11:15 Nigel Slater’s Simple Christmas (R) 12:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 12:30 Keeping Up Appearances (R) 1:30 FILM: The Santa Clause 2 (U) (2002) Disney comedy adventure sequel, starring Tim Allen.

3:05 FILM: G-Force (PG) (2009) Premiere. Children’s adventure, starring Bill Nighy.

4:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 4:50 Winter Wipeout Christmas Special 5:50 FILM: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (PG) (2005) Fantasy adventure, starring Tilda Swinton.

8:00 Merlin Part two of two. Camelot has fallen to Morgana, leaving Arthur a broken man, and Merlin realises only an extraordinary act will restore his master’s faith. Last in the series.

8:45 EastEnders Masood and Zainab try to put a stop to Yusef’s schemes – but the crisis also starts to rekindle their old passions. Phil enlists Ben’s help to catch his stalker.

9:20 Outnumbered The Brockmans plan to escape the festivities to spend Christmas in the sun – but Grandad ends up in hospital, Karen gets toothache and Ben develops a fascination with knives.

10:00 Lapland Festive comedy drama, starring Sue Johnston.

11:15 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws OJ Borg announces the all-important numbers.

11:25 BBC News; Weather 11:45 Midnight Mass from St George’s Cathedral Southwark Led by Archbishop Peter Smith; National Lottery Update 12:55 FILM: At First Sight (12) (1999) Romantic drama, starring Val Kilmer and Mira Sorvino.

2:55 Weatherview 3:00 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:50 FILM: Jump In! (U) (2007) Drama, starring Corbin Bleu.

10:10 FILM: Bicentennial Man (PG) (1999) Drama, starring Robin Williams.

12:10 FILM: Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (U) (1996) Animal adventure sequel, with the voice of Michael J Fox. 1:35 Pappano’s Essential Tosca 2:35 Tosca from the Royal Opera House 4:45 Christmas University Challenge 5:15 Dad’s Army (R) 5:45 Carols from King’s 7:00 The John Craven Years Documentary charting the TV presenter’s career, which has spanned 40 years.

Featuring interviews with Jon Culshaw, Noel Edmonds and Martin Bell.

8:00 Morecambe and Wise Memorable moments from the comedy duo’s Christmas shows, featuring appearances by newsreader Angela Rippon, singer Shirley Bassey and conductor Andre Previn. (R) 9:00 The Many Faces of Les Dawson Profile of the Manchester-born comedian, charting his rise to stardom through the characters he played on screen, with a commentary provided by his peers.

10:00 The Best of Les Dawson Tribute to the comedian. (R) 10:25 Top of the Pops 2: Christmas Special Mark Radcliffe delves into the BBC archive to find old and recent Christmas music, including performances

by David Bowie, Adele, Shakin’ Stevens and the Pogues with Kirsty MacColl. (R) 11:55 Blackadder Rides Again A celebration of the classic comedy, featuring interviews with all the main stars, including Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie and Miranda Richardson. (R) 12:55 Never Mind the Buzzcocks (R) 1:25 FILM: Holiday in Handcuffs (12) (2007) Romantic comedy, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez.

2:50 Close

5:30 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 8:15 FILM: Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring (U) (2002) Premiere. Animated comedy, with the voice of Jeff Bennett.

9:25 FILM: Santa Claus: The Movie (U) (1985) Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore.

11:30 Coronation Street 1:25 ITV News 1:45 FILM: The Polar Express (U) (2004) Animated adventure, with the voice of Tom Hanks.

3:35 FILM: ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (U) (1982) Sci-fi fantasy, with Henry Thomas.

5:45 ITV News 6:00 You’ve Been Framed! Christmas Special Harry Hill narrates a festive edition that focuses on seasonal catastrophes. Clips include Santas failing to keep their footing and faulty fairy lights providing a nasty shock. (R) 6:30 The Cube Celebrity Special Coronation Street special in which actors Ryan Thomas (Jason Grimshaw) and Julie Hesmondhalgh (Hayley Cropper) boldly take on the Cube in honour of their chosen charities.

7:30 Text Santa Part two of two. The charity initiative concludes.

10:00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Donny Osmond In an edition from Chicago, the singer looks back at his career in showbiz and reveals what it feels like to be still considered a heart-throb at the age of 54.

11:00 ITV News 11:15 Carols from Bucklebury Traditional candle-lit service from west Berkshire, as villagers gather in a farm barn to sing carols including Silent Night and In the Bleak Midwinter. Presented by Kate Garraway.

12:15 FILM: Connie and Carla (12) (2004) Comedy, starring Toni Collette and Nia Vardalos; ITV News Headlines 2:10 FILM: Spartacus (PG) (1960) A gladiator leads an army of slaves in a rebellion against the Roman state.

Roman epic, with Kirk Douglas.

5:20 ITV Nightscreen

7:15 FILM: Garfield (U) (2004) Family comedy, with the voice of Bill Murray.

8:45 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R) 9:40 Prep & Landing (R) 10:10 FILM: Charlotte’s Web (U) (2006) Family drama, with the voice of Julia Roberts.

12:00 FILM: The Muppet Christmas Carol (U) (1992) Puppet comedy, starring Michael Caine.

1:40 Gordon’s Christmas Cookalong – Get Ready (R) 1:50 Jamie’s Christmas with Bells On (R) 2:55 Jamie’s Christmas with Bells On (R) 4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 5:30 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:00 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:30 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions Michael Brett gets complacent at Wolverhampton’s fourth party. (R) 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:05 4thought.tv Lucy Porter explains why she still loves the festive season.

7:15 FILM: Hairspray (PG) (2007) Premiere. Musical comedy, starring Nikki Blonsky and John Travolta.

9:20 Home for the Holidays The climax of the big-money entertainment show. Last in the series.

10:55 Bill Bailey: Dandelion Mind 11:55 Father Ted Christmas Special Dougal and Ted get lost in a lingerie department. (R) 1:05 Music on 4: Inputoutput (R) 1:15 Comedy Lab: Kabadasses 1:45 Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows – T4 Movie Special (R) 2:00 Cee Lo Takes the UK: Christmas with All the Goodies (R) 2:10 FILM: Ashes of Time Redux (15) (1994) Wong Kar-Wai’s drama, starring Leslie Cheung.

3:45 Southland 4:30 World War II: The Last Heroes (R) 5:25 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:15 Chef Donald (R) 10:20 ThunderCats 10:55 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:25 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads (R) 12:25 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers (R) 1:30 Cars Toons Mater dreams he is an Evel Knievel-style daredevil.

1:35 FILM: Mrs Miracle (PG) (2009) Family drama, starring Doris Roberts.

3:25 FILM: Meet the Santas (PG) (2005) Fantasy comedy sequel, with Steve Guttenberg.

5:05 FILM: Scrooge – A Christmas Carol (PG) (1951) Charles Dickens’ fantasy, starring Alastair Sim. 7:00 Eddie Stobart’s Christmas Delivery Festive edition of the documentary series, in which the company’s truckers battle winter conditions to ensure shops and councils receive their supply of Christmas trees and salt.

7:55 5 News Weekend 8:00 The Gadget Show Christmas Eve Special Suzi Perry investigates 4G communications, Jason Bradbury examines products due to hit the shops in 2012, and Jon Bentley views an advanced helmet designed for fighter-jet pilots.

9:00 Greatest Christmas TV Moments Three-hour countdown of 50 Christmas TV crackers, past and present, including classic soap moments, dramatic endings, sitcom specials, comedy sketches and light entertainment highlights that have made that little box in the corner the focus of the festive holiday season for decades. (R) 12:00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming.

4:00 Great Artists (R) 4:25 Divine Designs (R) 4:50 Rough Guide to Beaches (R) 5:00 Hana’s Helpline (R) 5:10 The Milkshake! Show (R) 5:35 Thomas & Friends (R) 5:45 Roary the Racing Car (R)

7:00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D The most memorable film mishaps of the past year. 8:00 Top Gear The presenters take a road trip across the Middle East.

9:20 Film: Son of Rambow (12) (2008) Premiere. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Bill Milner. 10:50 EastEnders Masood and Zainab try to stop Yusef’s plan, while Phil enlists Ben’s help to catch his stalker. 11:20 Family Guy 12:05 American Dad! 2:20 Shrek: Once Upon A Time 3:15 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D 5:15 Close

7:00 Timeshift: The Golden Age of Trams – A Streetcar Named Desire A history of trams in Britain. 8:00 The Pharaoh Who Conquered the Sea 9:00 Film: Land of the Pharaohs (PG) (1955) Epic historical drama, starring Jack Hawkins. 10:40 Timeshift: Epic – A Cast of Thousands! 11:40 The Doris Day Special 12:35 Legends: Doris Day: Virgin Territory 1:35 Doris Day – A Sentimental Journey 2:35 The Andy Williams Christmas Show 3:05 Sacred Music: A Christmas History 4:05 Close

6:00 The Flint Street Nativity 7:10 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 8:10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:15 Jane Eyre 11:25 Bertie and Elizabeth 1:25 Rising Damp Christmas Special 2:00 Mr Bean 2:35 A Christmas Carol 4:05 Christmas Lights 5:30 The Darling Buds of May 6:45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11:00 Film: Santa Claus: The Movie (U) (1985) 1:15 The Flint Street Nativity 2:15 Rising Damp Christmas Special 2:40 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Greatest FA Cup Final Goals 6:10 The Professionals 7:00 The Fall Guy 7:55 Batman 8:50 Imploders 9:50 The Sweeney 4:00 Film: The ’Burbs (PG) (1989) 6:00 Film: Dragnet (PG) (1987) Drama, starring Dan Aykroyd. 8:10 Film: Jaws: The Revenge (12) (1987) Thriller sequel, starring Michael Caine. 10:00 Film: Demolition Man (15) (1993) 12:15 Film: Ticker (15) (2001) Thriller, starring Steven Seagal. 2:10 Sports Mash: Taking the Mic 2:40 Film File 2:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Cruise with Stelios: Caribbean 6:30 35mm 7:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 8:00 Oops TV 9:00 Riverdance in China 10:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin 6:00 Riverdance in China 7:00 Riverdance in Beijing 9:00 Road Wars 11:00 Night Cops 12:00 Sin Cities 12:30 Road Wars 1:00 Boozed Up Brits Abroad 1:50 Extreme Bodies: Vanity Insanity 2:40 Kim’s Rude Awakening 3:05 Sun, Sea and A&E 3:55 New Parent Nightmares 4:20 Body Language Secrets 5:10 Crash Test Dummies

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50

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Saturday, 24th December

2011

Christmas Eve

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 A Different Breed (R) 7:00 Ballroom High (R) 8:00 Brainiac Christmas Cracker (R) 9:00 WWE Superstars 10:00 Soccer AM 12:00 35mm This week’s news from the film world.

12:30 The Simpsons Marge threatens to leave Homer. (R) 1:00 The Simpsons Marge becomes obsessed with peach-based desserts. (R) 1:30 Modern Family Christmas (R) 2:00 Skellig Fantasy drama, starring Tim Roth. (R) 4:00 Futurama (R) 4:30 Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol Special 5:00 Futurama Christmas (R) 5:30 Futurama Christmas The gang accidentally freezes Santa. (R) 6:00 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2011 The annual gift-giving bonanza. (R) 7:30 Futurama The Professor tries to resuscitate the crew with his birth machine following a devastating spaceship crash. (R) 8:00 Futurama Fry, Leela and Bender find out what would happen if their fondest wishes were granted. Featuring the voices of Al Gore, Stephen Hawking and Nichelle Nichols. (R) 8:30 Futurama Leela and Zapp Brannigan find themselves stranded on an Eden-like planet. (R) 9:00 FILM: Evolution (PG) (2001) Two science teachers battle rapidly evolving alien monsters brought to Earth by a mysterious meteor. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones and Julianne Moore.

10:55 A Very Gaga Holiday Singer Lady Gaga puts her own spin on a selection of festive classics, including White Christmas, and performs a duet with Tony Bennett before showing off her culinary skills. (R) 12:25 An Idiot Abroad (R) 1:25 An Idiot Abroad (R) 2:15 Road Wars (R) 3:05 Road Wars (R) 3:55 The Great British Christmas (R) 5:10 Sell Me the Answer (R)

6:00 Emmerdale 8:30 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 8:50 The X Factor USA (R) 10:20 The X Factor USA (R) 12:10 Dick Whittington Pantomime, starring Kevin Bishop and Julian Clary.

(R) 1:40 Cinderella Star-studded panto, with Samantha Womack. (R) 3:15 Aladdin All-star panto with Julian Clary, Martin Clunes and Patsy Kensit. (R) 4:45 Jack and the Beanstalk Pantomime, with Neil Morrissey and Julian Clary. (R) 6:15 FILM: The Scorpion King (12) (2002) A warlord resolves to rid the desert of its last remaining tribes, prompting them to seek the aid of a legendary assassin. Fantasy adventure, with Dwayne Johnson and Steven Brand.

Includes FYI Daily.

8:00 FILM: Nanny McPhee (U) (2005) A widower is struggling to control his seven unruly children, until a strange-looking nanny steps in. Period fantasy adventure, with Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Kelly Macdonald. Includes FYI Daily.

10:00 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special Festive edition of the quiz hosted by Keith Lemon, with Amy Childs, Paddy McGuinness and Michelle Keegan joining regular panellists Holly Willoughby, Fearne Cotton and Rufus Hound. (R) 11:00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (12) (2002) An amnesiac man pulled from the sea by the crew of a fishing boat is targeted by assassins as he tries to discover who he is. Thriller, starring Matt Damon. Includes FYI Daily.

1:25 Peter Andre: My Life at Christmas (R) 2:25 FILM: Wedding Daze (15) (2006) Romantic comedy, starring Jason Biggs and Isla Fisher.

3:55 Comedy Cuts (R) 4:20 Comedy Cuts (R) 4:45 Comedy Cuts (R) 5:10 Comedy Cuts (R) 5:35 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 Merlin’s Apprentice (R) 9:30 FILM: Jingle All the Way (PG) (1996) Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

11:15 Hollyoaks 1:50 FILM: Alvin and the Chipmunks (U) (2007) Children’s comedy, starring Jason Lee. 3:35 Sorority Girls (R) 4:40 Desperate Scousewives (R) 5:40 Scrubs (R) 6:05 Scrubs (R) 6:35 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:05 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon lends Penny money to pay her rent, but it leads to a confrontation between Leonard and her ex-boyfriend. With Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco. (R) 7:35 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon’s obsession with gift-giving etiquette annoys his friends as Christmas approaches, and Leonard’s colleague dates Penny. (R) 8:00 How I Met Your Mother Lily and Ted fall out after she hears an old message he left on Marshall’s answering machine, encouraging him to recall her bad points. With Josh Radnor. (R) 8:30 The Big Bang Theory Leonard and Penny try their best to hang out without anybody else around, while Sheldon has to face his fear of birds.

Comedy, starring Jim Parsons. (R) 9:00 The World’s Greatest Prankster Funnyman Mark Dolan hosts a summit to discover who should be named the world’s best TV prankster, inviting young comedians to state the case for who should be on the list.

11:05 FILM: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (15) (2006) Spoof documentary, with Sacha Baron Cohen.

12:45 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:15 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:40 My Name Is Earl (R) 2:05 The Cleveland Show (R) 2:30 The Cleveland Show (R) 2:50 Switched (R) 3:15 Hollyoaks (R)

6:00 Take It Like a Fan 6:30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7:00 Premier League Review 8:00 Football League Weekend 9:00 Premier League Preview 9:30 Take It Like a Fan 10:00 Soccer AM 12:00 Take It Like a Fan 12:30 Live Scottish Premier League Football St Mirren v Rangers (Kick-off 12.45pm). 3:00 Live Premiership Rugby Union Northampton Saints v Bath (Kick-off 3.15pm). 5:30 Live NFL Coverage of a top match from North America. 9:00 Live NFL Coverage of a top match from North America. 12:30 Soccer AM With Max Rushden and Helen Chamberlain. 2:30 Super League 3:00 Rugby Union 3:30 Road to Wembley: How the 2011 Champions League Final Was Won 5:00 Premier League Preview 5:30 Take It Like a Fan

6:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 11:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party 4:00 ER 9:00 Boardwalk Empire Nucky prepares for his trial, and receives an unexpected boost when his estranged protege Jimmy decides to reach out to him.

Prohibition-era drama, starring Steve Buscemi. Last in the series. 10:15 In Treatment 12:15 The King’s Speech Special 12:30 Enlightened 1:05 Hung 1:40 Bored to Death 2:45 This Is Jinsy 3:15 The Devil’s Dinner Party 4:15 Blue Bloods 5:10 Inside the Actors Studio

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:30 Film: Beverly Hills Ninja (12) (1997) Martial arts comedy, with Chris Farley. 3:15 Knight Rider 5:10 Film: Snow (PG) (2004) Christmas comedy, starring Tom Cavanagh. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Film: From Hell (18) (2001) Jack the Ripper stalks the streets of Victorian London, and the opium-addicted detective on his trail uncovers a conspiracy. Mystery thriller, with Johnny Depp. 11:25 The Sexy Ads Show 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:25 Human Target 2:30 Film: Jet Pilot (U) (1957) Adventure, starring John Wayne. 4:45 NCIS 6:40 Film: Last of the Dogmen (PG) (1995) Modern-day Western, starring Tom Berenger. 9:00 NCIS 11:00 Human Target Clients of Chance’s old boss question him about an assassination assignment, and the bodyguard, Winston and Guerrero recall events that led to their partnership. 12:00 True Justice 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

7:15 Top Gear 9:00 Red Dwarf 9:40 Have I Got News for You 10:20 QI 11:00 Top Gear 1:00 Red Dwarf 1:40 Have I Got News for You 2:20 QI 3:00 Top Gear 5:00 QI XL 9:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You Andy Hamilton and Clare Balding join guest host Jeremy Clarkson and regular team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop for an extended edition of the current affairs quiz from 2010. 10:00 QI XL 1:50 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

6:00 Aerobics 6:30 Super League 7:00 Volvo Ocean Race 7:30 Road to London 8:00 Powerboating 8:30 Super League 9:00 Road to London 9:30 Volvo Ocean Race 10:00 Darts 2:00 Volvo Ocean Race 2:30 Super League 3:00 NFL 4:00 NFL 5:00 Premier League 5:30 Take It Like a Fan 6:00 Scottish Football 7:00 Soccer AM 9:00 Road to Wembley 10:30 Premier League Preview 11:00 Take It Like a Fan 11:30 Scottish Football 12:30 Rugby Union 1:30 Rugby 2:00 NFL 3:00 Scottish Football 4:00 Rugby Union 5:00 NFL

6:00 Sports Unlimited 7:00 Trans World Sport 8:00 Tight Lines 9:00 NFL: America’s Game 10:00 WWE: Smackdown 12:00 WWE: Bottom Line 1:00 Max Power 2:00 Masters Football 5:00 WWE: Smackdown 7:00 WWE Wrestling 8:00 Super League 8:30 Rugby Union 9:00 Premiership Rugby Union 10:00 WWE: Late Night – Superstars 11:00 WWE: NXT 12:00 WWE Wrestling 1:00 WWE: Late Night – Smackdown 3:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 4:00 Super League 4:30 Trans World Sport 5:30 Volvo Ocean Race

Lapland 10.00pm on BBC one Comedy drama about a Birkenhead family who leave England behind and travel to Lapland for a festive holiday they will never forget. Sue Johnston heads the cast, which also includes Elizabeth Berrington, Stephen Graham, Julie Graham and Keith Barron.

Text Santa 7.30pm on itv 1 Ant and Dec are joined by Holly Willoughby to host the conclusion of the two-part festive fundraising initiative, which aims to raise money for those most vulnerable during the festive period. Stars taking part in the show include Paddy McGuinness, who attempts to appear in as many pantomimes as possible across Britain.

Bill Bailey: Dandelion Mind 10.55pm on Channel 4 A stand-up show loosely based on the theme of doubt, featuring musings on celebrity and Michael Winner, as well as a disco reworking of a Gary Numan classic.

11:00 Anna and the King (12) (1999) 1:45 Horton Hears a Who! (U) (2008) 3:25 The Thirty-Nine Steps (U) (1959) 5:15 My Neighbour Totoro (U) (1988) 7:00 The Spiderwick Chronicles (PG) (2008) Adventure, starring Freddie Highmore. 9:00 Star Trek (12) (2009) Sci-fi adventure, starring Chris Pine.

11:20 Bronson (18) (2008) Biopic of the notorious convict, starring Tom Hardy.

1:05 A Gun for George 1:25 Saturday Night Fever (15) (1977) Drama, starring John Travolta. 3:55 Close

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51

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Sunday, 25th December

Sunday 25th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 The Nativity (R) 10:00 Christmas Day Eucharist from Lichfield Cathedral 11:00 Songs of Praise – Christmas Day Big Sing 11:40 Morecambe and Wise (R) 12:25 BBC News; Weather 12:35 FILM: Kung Fu Panda (PG) (2008) Animated comedy, with the voice of Jack Black.

2:00 Top of the Pops Christmas 2011 3:00 The Queen 3:10 FILM: Monsters vs Aliens (PG) (2009) Premiere. Animated sci-fi comedy, with the voice of Reese Witherspoon.

4:35 BBC News; Weather 4:50 FILM: Ratatouille (U) (2007) Premiere. Pixar animated comedy, with the voice of Patton Oswalt.

6:30 The Gruffalo’s Child 7:00 The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe The Time Lord helps a wartime widow and her children realise their dreams.

8:00 Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2011 With Barry McGuigan, Su Pollard, Simon Webbe, Debra Stephenson and Charlie Brooks.

9:00 EastEnders Hour-long episode.

Masood sets out to bring Kamil home.

10:00 Absolutely Fabulous Edina and Patsy return for the first of two specials.

10:30 Michael McIntyre’s Christmas Comedy Roadshow Festive giggles, with guests Jack Dee, Miranda Hart, James Corden and Kylie Minogue.

11:30 BBC News; Weather 11:45 On Christmas Night Julian Rhind-Tutt reads the account of Christ’s birth.

11:50 Have I Got a Bit More News for You Extended edition, with guest host Martin Clunes. (R) 12:30 The Graham Norton Show Christmas Special (R) 1:35 FILM: The Hot Chick (12) (2002) Body-swap comedy, starring Rob Schneider.

3:10 Weatherview 3:15 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:10 CBBC 9:35 FILM: The Magic Roundabout (U) (2005) Animated adventure, with the voice of Ian McKellen.

10:50 FILM: The Sword in the Stone (U) (1963) Disney animated adventure, with the voice of Ricky Sorenson.

12:10 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (R) 2:10 A Musical Nativity with John Rutter 3:10 The Prince and the Composer: A Film about Hubert Parry by HRH the Prince of Wales (R) 4:40 Dad’s Army (R) 5:10 Porridge (R) 5:50 The Queen (R) 6:00 Christmas University Challenge 6:30 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood 8:00 Blackadder the Third Devious royal butler Edmund Blackadder steps in to foil a plan by new prime minister Pitt the Younger to bankrupt his master the Prince Regent. (R) 8:30 Blackadder the Third Sycophantic servant Blackadder falls foul of an enraged Dr Johnson when Baldrick inadvertently burns the great man’s new dictionary. (R) 9:00 The Toys That Made Christmas Robert Webb takes a light-hearted look back at Christmases past through the toys people played with and loved over the years, including Fuzzy-Felt, Spirograph, Barbie and Meccano.

10:30 James May’s Man Lab Xmas Special Festive tips for men, including how to make it snow, decorating a tree using a gun, transforming the tired old Christmas cracker and a festive feast planned with military precision. (R) 11:30 Victoria Wood with All the Trimmings (R) 12:25 The Many Faces of Les Dawson (R) 1:25 QI (R) 1:55 FILM: Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (PG) (1956) Thriller, starring Dana Andrews.

3:15 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:45 FILM: The Borrowers (U) (1997) Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman.

9:25 FILM: March of the Penguins (U) (2005) Oscar-winning nature documentary, narrated by Morgan Freeman.

11:00 FILM: Miracle on 34th Street (U) (1994) Christmas family drama remake, with Richard Attenborough.

1:05 ITV News 1:15 FILM: Aladdin (PG) (1992) Disney animated adventure, with the voice of Robin Williams.

3:00 The Queen 3:10 FILM: Happy Feet (U) (2006) Animated adventure, with the voice of Elijah Wood.

5:10 ITV News 5:30 New You’ve Been Framed!

6:00 Emmerdale 7:00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special Teams from reality show The Only Way Is Essex and comedy series Benidorm take part in the game show, hoping to land a £30,000 prize for charity. Vernon Kay hosts.

8:00 Coronation Street Hour-long episode. Becky hits the bottle and burns her precious photos of Steve after learning he has proposed to Tracy – but the flat goes up in flames when she falls asleep.

9:00 Downton Abbey Violet has concerns about Rosamund’s new suitor (guest star Nigel Havers).

11:05 ITV News 11:20 Benidorm Festive episode from Boxing Day 2010. Madge has to organise the Benidorm Palace’s seasonal spectacular. Guest starring Su Pollard, Louie Spence and Brian Murphy. (R) 12:35 The Comedy Annual Comedians talk about the key moments of 2011. (R) 1:35 FILM: The Towering Inferno (15) (1974) Disaster movie, starring Paul Newman and Steve McQueen; ITV News Headlines 4:20 Kojak (R) 5:15 ITV Nightscreen

6:10 FILM: The Ugly Duckling and Me (U) (2006) Premiere. Animated comedy, with the voice of Morgan C Jones.

7:40 The Simpsons (R) 8:00 The Simpsons (R) 8:30 FILM: James and the Giant Peach (U) (1996) Children’s fantasy, with Paul Terry.

10:00 Gordon’s Christmas Cookalong Live 2:00 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas 2:30 The Snowman (R) 3:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R) 4:05 Channel 4 News 4:10 4thought.tv 4:15 The Alternative Christmas Message 4:20 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:20 FILM: Big (12) (1988) Comedy, starring Tom Hanks.

7:15 FILM: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) (2009) Sid the sloth’s friends search for him when he is taken to an underground world inhabited by dinosaurs. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of John Leguizamo and Denis Leary.

9:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special A festive edition of the chat show, featuring guests Ruth Jones, David Walliams and Jedward, as well as Steps, who perform a medley of their greatest hits.

10:00 Rude Tube: Epic Christmas Alex Zane presents the 50 greatest festive internet videos, featuring silly outfits, bonkers behaviour and inappropriate gifts.

11:05 So This Is Christmas Comedians share their experiences of the festive season.

12:05 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (R) 1:05 American Football Live Green Bay Packers v Chicago Bears (Kick-off 1.20am).

4:45 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Rally Driving (R) 4:50 Post Modern Pastimes (R) 5:00 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show (R) 5:25 Scrapheap Challenge (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

9:00 FILM: Mist: The Tale of a Sheepdog Puppy (U) (2006) Live-action animal adventure, featuring the voice of Mel Giedroyc.

10:30 Trailer Horn 10:35 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 10:55 Andre Rieu’s Christmas Spectacular 11:55 Ice Road Truckers (R) 12:55 Ice Road Truckers (R) 1:55 Cars – Unidentified Flying Mater Pixar animated short.

2:00 FILM: Mrs Miracle 2: Miracle in Manhattan (PG) (2010) Family drama sequel, starring Doris Roberts.

3:45 FILM: Mrs Santa Claus (PG) (1996) Musical, with Angela Lansbury.

5:30 FILM: The Santa Suit (PG) (2010) Premiere. Comedy, starring Kevin Sorbo.

7:25 FILM: The Christmas Card (PG) (2006) A soldier serving in Afghanistan gains new hope when he receives a Christmas card from a Californian woman he has never met. Inspired by this simple act of kindness, he decides to perform a good deed of his own by visiting the fiancee of a dead comrade, only to run into the woman who sent him the card.

Romantic drama, starring John Newton.

9:05 Eddie Stobart’s Christmas Delivery Festive edition of the documentary series, in which the company’s truckers battle winter conditions to ensure shops and councils receive their supply of Christmas trees and salt. (R) 10:00 Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs A countdown of songs guaranteed to make any Christmas party go with a swing, including classics by the Jackson 5, Jona Lewie, Band Aid, Mud, the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.

1:00 SuperCasino 3:55 Meals in Moments (R) 4:05 Nick’s Quest (R) 4:30 Divine Designs (R) 5:00 Hana’s Helpline (R) 5:10 The Milkshake! Show (R) 5:35 Thomas & Friends (R) 5:45 Roary the Racing Car (R)

7:00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D The most memorable film mishaps of the past year. 8:00 Film: Armageddon (12) (1998) A drilling team transports a nuclear device into outer space to destroy an asteroid on a collision course with Earth. Sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler. 10:20 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11:05 EastEnders 12:05 Family Guy 2:35 American Dad! 3:45 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D 4:45 Him & Her 5:15 Close

7:00 Film: El Cid (PG) (1961) Drama, starring Charlton Heston. 9:50 The Johnny Cash TV Show: Country Gold Highlights of the singer-songwriter’s American TV series. 10:50 Top of the Pops 1976: Christmas Day Special Featuring JJ Barrie, the Wurzels, Abba and Pussycat. 11:40 Top of the Pops 1976 Christmas Special 12:30 Cardigans at Christmas 1:20 Carole King and Friends at Christmas 2:20 Night Music: Songs After Dark 3:20 The Johnny Cash TV Show: Country Gold 4:20 Close

6:00 Duty Free 7:00 George and Mildred 7:35 Rising Damp Christmas Special 8:10 Mr Bean 8:45 A Christmas Carol 10:20 Christmas Lights 11:55 The Darling Buds of May 1:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3:20 Film: Carry On Cowboy (U) (1966) 5:20 Film: Carry On Cleo (PG) (1964) 7:10 Film: Carry On Camping (PG) (1969) 9:00 Film: Carry On Up the Jungle (PG) (1970) 10:55 Film: Carry On Jack (PG) (1963) 12:45 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 2:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 2:45 Emmerdale

6:00 The Sweeney 11:40 Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed 2:25 Film: Night Passage (U) (1957) 4:15 Film: Spartacus (PG) (1960) Roman epic, with Kirk Douglas. 8:00 Film: The Magnificent Seven Ride! (PG) (1972) Western sequel, starring Lee Van Cleef.

10:00 Film: Rocky (PG) (1976) Drama, starring Sylvester Stallone. 12:25 Film: Charley Varrick (15) (1973) Crime thriller, starring Walter Matthau. 2:40 Film File 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Cruise with Stelios: Mediterranean 7:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9:00 UK Border Force 10:00 Customs UK 2:00 Nothing to Declare 6:00 Four Weddings 7:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Deadly Reptiles 10:00 Road Wars 12:00 Sin Cities 1:00 Boozed Up Brits Abroad 1:50 Extreme Bodies: Vanity Insanity 2:40 Kim’s Rude Awakening 3:05 Guilty! 3:55 New Parent Nightmares 4:20 Body Language Secrets 5:10 Crash Test Dummies

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52

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Sunday, 25th December

2011

Christmas Day

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Hour of Power 7:00 Futurama (R) 7:30 Futurama (R) 8:00 Noel’s Christmas Presents 2011 (R) 9:30 The Simpsons (R) 10:00 WWE Superstars (R) 11:00 WWE: Experience (R) 12:00 A League of Their Own Christmas Special (R) 1:00 The Simpsons (R) 1:30 Modern Family (R) 2:00 The Middle (R) 2:30 Simpsons Christmas (R) 3:00 The Queen’s Speech 3:15 Sally Lindsay’s Little Cracker (R) 3:30 The Simpsons (R) 4:00 Futurama: Bender’s Game (R) 5:50 Modern Family: Julie Bowen Interview (R) 6:00 Terra Nova (R) 7:00 The Middle Christmas (R) 7:30 The Middle Christmas (R) 8:00 A League of Their Own (R) 9:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 10:00 A League of Their Own (R) 11:00 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker (R) 11:15 Harry Hill’s Little Cracker (R) 11:30 Jack Whitehall’s Little Cracker (R) 11:45 Alan Davies’s Little Cracker (R) 12:00 Shappi Khorsandi’s Little Cracker (R) 12:15 John Bishop’s Little Cracker (R) 12:30 Sheridan Smith’s Little Cracker (R) 12:45 Sally Lindsay’s Little Cracker (R) 1:00 Sanjeev Bhaskar’s Little Cracker (R) 1:15 Johnny Vegas’s Little Cracker (R) 1:30 Barbara Windsor’s Little Cracker (R) 1:45 A League of Their Own (R) 2:40 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 3:35 A League of Their Own (R) 4:25 It’s Me or the Dog (R) 4:55 Modern Family: Sofia Vergara Interview (R) 5:05 Bite Size Brainiac 5:10 Sell Me the Answer (R)

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 8:30 Coronation Street (R) 10:30 All Star Mr & Mrs (R) 11:30 Michael Bublé: Home for Christmas (R) 1:00 Peter Andre: My Life at Christmas Seasonal edition of the reality show. (R) 2:00 The Xtra Factor: Caroline and Olly’s Best and Worst Caroline Flack and Olly Murs picking their most memorable moments from The X Factor.

Last in the series. (R) 3:00 The Xtra Factor: Louis’ Best and Worst (R) 4:00 The Xtra Factor: Tulisa’s Best and Worst (R) 5:00 The Xtra Factor: Kelly’s Best and Worst (R) 6:00 The Xtra Factor: Gary’s Best and Worst (R) 7:00 FILM: Jack Frost (PG) (1998) A dead musician’s spirit takes over the body of a snowman made by his son so they can spend one last Christmas together. Fantasy drama, starring Michael Keaton and Joseph Cross.

Including FYI Daily.

9:00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (12) (2004) The amnesiac assassin is framed for a botched CIA operation and faces a fight for survival as he tries to uncover his past. Action thriller sequel, with Matt Damon and Brian Cox. Includes FYI Daily.

11:05 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special Festive edition of the quiz hosted by Keith Lemon, with Amy Childs, Paddy McGuinness and Michelle Keegan joining regular panellists Holly Willoughby, Fearne Cotton and Rufus Hound. (R) 12:10 Coronation Street (R) 1:15 Emmerdale (R) 2:15 Perez Hilton Superfan: Kelly Rowland (R) 3:05 Comedy Cuts (R) 3:30 Comedy Cuts (R) 3:55 Comedy Cuts (R) 4:20 Comedy Cuts (R) 4:45 Teleshopping 5:45 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 Switched (R) 6:30 Earthsea (R) 8:15 Olive the Other Reindeer (R) 9:20 Gulliver’s Travels (R) 11:10 Gulliver’s Travels (R) 1:05 FILM: Barnyard (PG) (2006) Animated comedy, with the voice of Kevin James.

2:45 FILM: Jingle All the Way (PG) (1996) Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

4:30 FILM: Annie (U) (1982) John Huston’s musical, with Aileen Quinn and Albert Finney.

7:00 The Big Bang Theory Leonard and Penny grow closer after a disastrous visit by his mother. Guest starring Mamma Mia! actress Christine Baranski.

(R) 7:30 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Penny fall out over a game of paintball, but it leads to a blossoming romance between Howard and Leslie. Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco star. (R) 7:55 FILM: Independence Day (12) (1996) A fleet of vast flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith.

10:40 The Big Bang Theory Leonard and Penny grow closer after a disastrous visit by his mother. (R) 11:10 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Penny fall out over a game of paintball, but it leads to a blossoming romance between Howard and Leslie. Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco star. (R) 11:40 Tool Academy Graduation Day arrives, and one of the Tools makes a shocking announcement ahead of the final challenge, which takes the form of a maturity test. (R) 12:40 Tool Academy: The Yearbook (R) 1:50 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night (R) 2:40 Dirty Sexy Money (R) 3:25 Hollyoaks (R)

6:00 The X Files 8:00 Star Trek: Voyager 12:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party Psychological game show. 1:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 2:00 ER 7:00 Britain and Ireland from the Sky An aerial tour of the British Isles and Ireland. 7:30 Flying Monsters David Attenborough explores the ancient world of the pterosaur, a flying creature that occupied the skies 200 million years ago. 9:00 Game of Thrones 3:20 Boardwalk Empire 4:30 Enlightened 5:05 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Animal Rescue Squad 1:15 Malcolm in the Middle 1:45 Burn Notice 2:45 Film: Lawrence of Arabia (PG) (1962) Oscar-winning epic drama, starring Peter O’Toole. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Film: The Ninth Gate (15) (1999) A book dealer is hired to track down the remaining copies of a satanic text reputed to hold limitless power.

Roman Polanski’s horror, starring Johnny Depp and Emmanuelle Seigner. 11:45 Generation Sex Highlights of the sexual discussion series. 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Film: Snowman’s Pass (PG) (2004) Action adventure, starring Nicole Eggert. 2:00 NCIS 6:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8:00 CSI: Miami Horatio investigates a video games company when one of its testers is found dead. A former porn star who was involved in a previous case comes looking for help.

Guest starring Kerr Smith and professional skateboarder Tony Hawk.

9:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11:00 CSI: Miami 1:00 Close

6:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 6:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 7:00 Scottish Premier League Football 8:00 Soccer AM 10:00 Soccer Special 11:30 Netcrackers 12:00 Goals on Sunday 1:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 2:00 Soccer Special 3:30 Netcrackers 4:00 Goals on Sunday 5:30 Football’s Greatest Managers A profile of current Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho, who has previously enjoyed great success with FC Porto, Chelsea and Inter Milan. 6:00 Soccer Special 7:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 8:00 Golf Special 9:00 Cricket Special 11:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

The First Test in the four-match series gets under way with day one at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

6:00 Aerobics 6:30 Volvo Ocean Race 7:00 Rugby Union 8:00 Rugby 8:30 Super League 9:00 NFL 11:00 Cricket Special 1:00 Rugby Union 2:30 Rugby 3:00 Golf Special 4:00 Cricket Special 6:00 Volvo Ocean Race 6:30 Rugby 8:00 Ronaldo – Tested to the Limit 9:00 Soccer Special 10:30 Netcrackers 11:00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 11:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 12:00 Ronaldo – Tested to the Limit 1:00 Soccer Special 2:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 3:00 Netcrackers 3:30 Golf Special 4:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 5:00 Netcrackers 5:30 Football’s Greatest Managers

6:00 Wild Spirits 6:30 This Week In WWE 7:00 WWE Vintage Collection 8:00 WWE: Afterburn 9:00 Warren Miller Ski Films 10:30 Warren Miller Ski Films 12:00 Warren Miller Ski Films 1:30 Warren Miller Ski Films 3:00 Warren Miller Ski Films 4:30 Warren Miller Ski Films 6:00 Warren Miller Ski Films 7:30 Warren Miller Ski Films 9:00 Warren Miller Ski Films 10:30 Warren Miller Ski Films 12:00 WWE: Late Night – Afterburn 1:00 WWE: Experience 2:00 This Week In WWE 2:30 WWE Vintage Collection 3:30 Rugby Union 5:00 Rugby Union 5:30 Super League

7:05 Dragons’ Den 8:00 Top Gear 10:00 Driving Wars 11:00 Man v Food 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 QI 4:00 Top Gear 7:00 Driving Wars Colin Murray presents a competition that mixes video games with real life motorsport. In this edition, Welsh rally enthusiasts take on a trio of car dealers. 8:00 QI XL Jo Brand, Rob Brydon and Jimmy Carr join regular panellist Alan Davies and host Stephen Fry to answer questions on the subject of geography. 9:00 Not Going Out 2:05 Psychoville 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe 7.00pm on BBC one The Time Lord crash-lands on Earth during the Second World War, where he tries to make sure two unfortunate evacuees and their mother have the best Christmas ever. With Claire Skinner, Bill Bailey, Arabella Weir and Alexander Armstrong.

Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood 6.30pm on BBC TWO The former Royal Ballet star celebrates the legacy of classic dance musicals. First, she tackles the challenge of impersonating Fred Astaire in Puttin’ on the Ritz, which was a highlight of Blue Skies, before playing Ginger Rogers in a rendition of Cheek to Cheek from Top Hat.

Downton Abbey 9.00pm on itv 1 Bates’s arrest casts a shadow over the festivities at a Christmas party and Violet has concerns about Rosamund’s new suitor. Guest starring Nigel Havers and Sharon Small.

11:00 Fred Claus (PG) (2007) 1:10 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (PG) (1969) 3:20 Miracle on 34th Street (U) (1947) 5:10 Ponyo (U) (2008) 7:15 The Ladykillers (U) (1955) Ealing black comedy, starring Alec Guinness. 9:00 Juno (12) (2007) Comedy, starring Ellen Page. 10:50 Watchmen (18) (2009) Comic-book drama, starring Patrick Wilson and Jackie Earle Haley. 1:55 Garden State (15) (2004) Romantic comedy, starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. 3:55 Close

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53

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Monday, 26th December

Monday 26th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 CBBC 9:10 The Gruffalo (R) 9:35 The Gruffalo’s Child (R) 10:00 FILM: The Jungle Book 2 (U) (2003) Animated adventure sequel, with the voice of Haley Joel Osment.

11:10 FILM: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (U) (2008) Premiere. Comedy, with the voice of Drew Barrymore.

12:35 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Regional News; Weather 12:55 Morecambe and Wise (R) 2:00 Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2011 (R) 3:00 Winter Wipeout Christmas Special (R) 4:00 FILM: Shrek 2 (U) (2004) Animated adventure sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers.

5:25 BBC News; Weather 5:35 Spotlight; Weather 5:40 Jim’ll Fix It with Shane Richie Children’s dreams made reality.

6:10 FILM: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (PG) (2008) Premiere. Animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Stiller.

7:30 The Borrowers Fantasy adventure, starring Stephen Fry and Christopher Eccleston.

9:00 EastEnders Yusef’s actions put the whole of Albert Square in danger, while Denise throws a Christmas party at the B&B – but an infuriated Phil is in no mood for festivities.

9:30 The Royal Bodyguard New series.

Comedy, starring David Jason as ex-soldier Guy Hubble, who becomes an unlikely royal bodyguard. In the first episode, he investigates evidence of an assassination plot.

10:00 Mrs Brown’s Boys Christmas Special New series. Agnes tries to arrange the perfect family Christmas.

10:30 BBC News; Weather 10:45 Match of the Day Including highlights of Chelsea v Fulham.

12:15 FILM: The Guardian (12) (2006) Drama, starring Kevin Costner.

2:30 Weatherview 2:35 Sign Zone: Holby City (R) 3:35 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:55 Pixar: 25 Magic Moments (R) 9:55 FILM: Heidi (U) (2005) Children’s drama, starring Emma Bolger.

11:30 FILM: The Crimson Wing: Mystery of the Flamingos (PG) (2008) Premiere. Documentary following a flamingo colony.

12:45 FILM: Mansfield Park (15) (1999) Jane Austen drama, starring Frances O’Connor.

2:35 FILM: Emma (U) (1996) Jane Austen drama, starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

4:30 Final Score 5:10 FILM: Becoming Jane (PG) (2006) Romantic period drama, starring Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy.

7:00 Springwatch Christmas Special Highlights from the past year of the series.

8:30 Christmas University Challenge Two teams of famous graduates compete on behalf of their former universities in the second semi-final of the festive edition of the academic quiz.

9:00 Jane Austen: The Unseen Portrait? Martha Kearney meets biographer Paula Byrne, who believes she has found a picture of the author lost to the world for almost two centuries.

10:00 Victoria Wood: Seen on TV The comedienne reflects on the highlights of her television career, and contributors including Dawn French, Julie Walters and Roger Moore discuss her enduring appeal. (R) 11:30 Ruth Jones’ Christmas Cracker The actress and writer is joined by James Corden, Lulu and Micky Flanagan on a festive chat show. Featuring music

by Manic Street Preachers. (R) 12:10 QI (R) 12:40 Grumpy Guide to Food 1:10 FILM: Cat People (PG) (1942) A newlywed’s jealousy of her husband’s lover reveals her power to transform into a vicious feline. Director Jacques Tourneur’s horror, with Simone Simon.

2:20 BBC News 3:35 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:40 FILM: The Adventures of Pinocchio (PG) (1996) Family adventure, with Martin Landau.

9:25 Best Ever Christmas Films (R) 10:25 Goodnight Mister Tom (R) 12:20 ITV News 12:30 FILM: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (U) (2006) Family comedy, with the voice of Bill Murray.

2:00 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments Robbie Coltrane narrates a countdown of the movie franchise’s best scenes. (R) 3:30 FILM: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG) (2002) Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe.

6:20 ITV News 6:30 Emmerdale Andy reluctantly agrees to Debbie’s proposal – to try for a baby naturally. Amy struggles with the consequences of her decision and Diane tells Moira that Holly has left her a gift.

7:00 The Unforgettable Ernie Wise Profile of the comedian, one half of popular double act Morecambe and Wise.

The programme reveals the truth about a man whose life off-stage was as important to him as fame.

8:00 Coronation Street Hour-long episode. Becky returns home from hospital, determined to fight back, leaving Tracy unprepared when the police turn up to question her.

9:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot The Belgian sleuth is summoned when Colin Race is distracted from an investigation into a spy ring by the discovery of a murder victim surrounded by stopped clocks.

11:00 ITV News 11:15 FILM: Gladiator (15) (2000) A Roman general is forced to fight as a gladiator and uses his position to seek revenge for the murder of his family.

Oscar-winning epic, with Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix; ITV News Headlines 2:05 FILM: Vertigo (PG) (1958) Thriller, starring James Stewart.

4:10 ITV Nightscreen

6:20 The Treacle People (R) 6:30 FILM: Benji the Hunted (PG) (1987) Disney adventure, with Red Steagall.

8:00 The Bear (R) 8:30 The Morning Line 9:25 The Big Bang Theory (R) 9:55 The Big Bang Theory 10:25 The Simpsons (R) 10:55 The Simpsons (R) 11:25 FILM: Bugsy Malone (U) (1976) Musical gangster comedy, starring Scott Baio.

1:15 Channel 4 Racing 3:40 The Simpsons (R) 4:10 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:10 Christmas Coach Trip 5:45 Channel 4 News 6:00 4thought.tv 6:05 Hollyoaks 6:35 Come Dine with Me: Christmas Special 7:05 FILM: Home Alone (PG) (1990) A boy is left to defend his home from burglars when his family jets off to Paris and accidentally leaves him behind.

Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin.

9:00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Miranda Bear Grylls challenges actress Miranda Hart to accompany him on a two-day expedition in one of the highest and wildest parts of the Swiss Alps.

10:00 Chris Moyles’ Christmas Quiz Night With James Corden, Olly Murs and Louie Spence.

10:50 Father Ted: Unintelligent Design The inspiration behind the comedy. (R) 11:20 Small, Far Away – The World of Father Ted A road trip in celebration of the comedy’s 15th anniversary. (R) 12:25 Father Ted Cheating in a football match backfires on Ted. (R) 12:55 Random Acts Short creative films.

1:00 FILM: The Godfather (15) (1972) Gangster drama, starring Marlon Brando and Al Pacino.

4:05 The Lost Army of King Cambyses (R) 5:00 World War II: The Last Heroes (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:05 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:35 Ice Road Truckers (R) 12:35 5 News Lunchtime 12:45 FILM: The Producers (12) (2005) A washed-up Broadway producer and his neurotic accountant stage a musical tribute to Hitler as a get-rich-quick scheme. Musical comedy, starring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane.

3:10 FILM: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (U) (1954) A cowboy decides to get married, prompting his six hellraising brothers to kidnap brides for themselves. Stanley Donen’s musical Western, starring Howard Keel and Jane Powell.

5:10 FILM: The Wizard of Oz (PG) (1939) A tornado whisks a young girl off to a magical land where she embarks on a journey in search of the wizard who knows the way home. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland and Ray Bolger.

7:05 Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs Festive music countdown. (R) 10:00 FILM: Dirty Dancing (15) (1987) A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show the pair were due to perform in. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education on life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Including 5 News Update.

12:05 FILM: Fragile (15) (2005) Premiere. A nurse at a children’s hospital learns that something evil lurking in the wards does not want the patients to leave. Horror, with Calista Flockhart and Richard Roxburgh.

2:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Meals in Moments (R) 4:10 Grey’s Anatomy 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 Winter Wipeout Total Wipeout – with added snow and ice. 8:00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Christmas Special An Alice in Wonderland-themed festive wedding in New York. 9:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 Part one of two. An irreverent review of the year. 10:30 EastEnders 11:00 Russell Howard’s Good News: Christmas Special 2009 11:30 Family Guy 2:05 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D 3:00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Christmas Special 4:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 5:30 Close

7:00 Wonders of the Universe Professor Brian Cox explores the development of mankind and the universe. 8:00 Film: The Fall of the Roman Empire (PG) (1964) Historical drama, starring Alec Guinness and Christopher Plummer.

10:55 Dolly Parton: Live at the O2 A concert by the country singer. 12:05 The Johnny Cash TV Show: Country Gold 1:05 Originals: Tammy Wynette – ‘Til I Can Make It on My Own 2:05 Folk Music at Christmas 3:05 Wonders of the Universe 4:05 Close

5:05 Emmerdale 6:00 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 7:00 Film: Columbo: A Bird in the Hand (PG) (1992) 9:00 Film: Carry On Screaming (PG) (1966) 11:00 Film: Holiday On the Buses (PG) (1973) 12:45 Lewis 2:50 On the Buses 3:20 Mr Bean 3:55 Midsomer Murders 6:00 Dancing on Ice Live Tour 2011 7:00 Film: Forever Young (PG) (1992) 9:00 Film: Doc Hollywood (12) (1991) 11:00 Film: Carry On Matron (PG) (1972) 12:50 PD James: Unnatural Causes 2:35 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Greatest World Cup Matches 6:15 Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed 7:40 The Saint 8:40 The Professionals 3:45 Film: Support Your Local Gunfighter (U) (1971) 5:40 Film: Dragnet (PG) (1987) 7:45 Film: Any Which Way You Can (15) (1980) 10:00 Film: Coogan’s Bluff (15) (1968) Crime drama, with Clint Eastwood. 12:00 Film: Charley Varrick (15) (1973) 2:15 Sports Mash: Taking the Mic 2:45 Film File 2:55 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music The search for Britain’s undiscovered talent gets under way as judges Dizzee Rascal, Jamie Cullum and Sharleen Spiteri cast their eyes over the first group of hopefuls. 8:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 9:00 Fat Families 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Fat Families 5:00 The Diana Years 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Cop Squad 12:00 UK Border Force 1:00 Must Be the Music 1:50 UK Border Force 2:40 Luton Airport 3:30 My Pet Shame 4:20 Wedding SOS 5:10 Guilty!

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54

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Monday, 26th December

2011

Boxing Day

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family (R) 11:30 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle (R) 12:30 The Middle (R) 1:00 Futurama (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Safebreakers (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS (R) 4:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 5:00 The Simpsons (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Ned Flanders resigns as coach of Springfield’s junior football team, so Homer takes his place – and promptly decides Bart should be appointed star quarterback. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Homer buys a handgun to protect his family, but begins using it to perform all kinds of household tasks – driving Marge and the kids away from home. (R) 8:00 Terra Nova The 11th pilgrimage arrives in the colony, but trouble looms when the Phoenix Group in 2149 makes its move to pillage the past. Sci-fi drama, starring Christine Adams.

9:00 Terra Nova Jim and Taylor team up to fight invaders from the future as life in Terra Nova comes under threat, and one colonist makes the ultimate sacrifice. Last in the series.

10:00 FILM: Evolution (PG) (2001) Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny.

11:55 35mm This week’s news from the film world. (R) 12:25 Cop Squad (R) 1:25 Night Cops (R) 2:25 Armed and Dangerous: Ultimate Forces (R) 3:25 Deadwood (R) 4:25 Hello Goodbye (R) 5:15 A Different Breed (R)

6:00 Kelly Clarkson: The Hot Desk (R) 6:10 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story 2011 (R) 7:00 Life’s Funniest Moments (R) 7:30 Coronation Street (R) 8:30 Emmerdale (R) 9:30 The Xtra Factor: Gary’s Best and Worst (R) 10:30 FILM: A Cinderella Story (PG) (2004) Romantic comedy, starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray.

12:30 The Cube Celebrity Special With Coronation Street stars Ryan Thomas and Julie Hesmondhalgh. (R) 1:30 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 1:45 New You’ve Been Framed! (R) 2:15 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (R) 3:00 The Big Quiz – Coronation Street v Emmerdale Soap stars go head to head. (R) 4:00 Coronation Street Hour-long episode. A drunken Becky’s flat goes up in flames when she falls asleep. (R) 5:00 Emmerdale (R) 6:00 The Only Way Is EsseXmas (R) 7:00 You’ve Been Framed and Famous! Harry Hill showcases some of the best celebrity lookalike clips sent in by viewers. (R) 8:00 FILM: The Polar Express (U) (2004) A boy doubts the existence of Father Christmas, until a magical train arrives to take him to the North Pole.

Animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Leslie Zemeckis. Includes FYI Daily.

10:00 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (12) (2007) The amnesiac assassin regains his memory, just as the CIA sets in motion a plan to kill him. Spy thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon.

12:15 Coronation Street Hour-long episode. The police arrive at the Rovers to question Tracy. (R) 1:20 Emmerdale (R) 1:50 Comedy Cuts (R) 2:15 Comedy Cuts (R) 2:40 Teleshopping 5:40 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 Earthsea (R) 7:40 The Sword of Xanten (R) 9:30 The Sword of Xanten (R) 11:10 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R) 12:10 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas 12:40 Scrubs (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:40 Hollyoaks (R) 2:10 FILM: Crocodile Dundee (15) (1986) Comedy, starring Paul Hogan.

4:00 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas 4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:25 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Texas and Jodie try to deal with the fallout of the previous day’s events, Joel wonders whether he should leave the village, and Mercedes questions her parenting skills.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Barney tries to woo Ted with his womanising tactics when he declines his offer to design the new GNB building, while Robin drunkenly calls Don in a desperate effort to win him back. (R) 8:00 How I Met Your Mother The pals use different modes of transport in a race to a restaurant where Woody Allen has just been spotted. (R) 8:30 Made in Chelsea: Christmas Special The socialites gear up for a festive season in style and while some cosy up by log fires and celebrate in the capital, others jet off to a secret hideaway. (R) 10:00 Desperate Scousewives Chris and Mark’s problems continue.

11:05 Sorority Girls The five pledges are chosen. Last in the series. (R) 12:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:05 Scrubs (R) 1:40 Scrubs (R) 2:10 How I Met Your Mother (R) 2:30 Made in Chelsea: Christmas Special (R) 4:00 Make It or Break It (R) 4:40 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:05 Switched (R) 5:25 Switched (R)

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:55 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 12:00 Live Football League AFC Wimbledon v Oxford United (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2:30 Soccer Special 5:00 Live Football League Birmingham City v West Ham United (Kick-off 5.30pm). Coverage of the Championship clash at St Andrew’s, featuring two sides relegated from the Premier League last season.

7:30 Live Monday Night Football Stoke City v Aston Villa (Kick-off 8.00pm). This evening’s Premier League encounter comes from the Britannia Stadium.

10:15 Football First 11:45 Football First 1:15 Football First 2:45 Sky Sports Classics Liverpool v Olympiakos. 3:00 Sports Unlimited 4:00 Watersports World 5:00 Max Power

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations The chef takes a road trip through the California desert, exploring the area’s cuisine and musical traditions. 9:00 Game of Thrones 3:25 Hung Ray fears he may have blown his cover. 4:00 Boardwalk Empire 5:10 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping Home shopping. 1:00 5* Access 1:10 Film: The Princess Bride (PG) (1987) Comic fantasy adventure, starring Cary Elwes. 3:10 Film: Eloise at the Plaza (PG) (2003) Children’s adventure, starring Julie Andrews. 5:00 Film: My Girl 2 (PG) (1994) Comedy drama sequel, with Anna Chlumsky and Dan Aykroyd. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Film: The Wicker Man (12) (2006) Horror remake, starring Nicolas Cage. 11:05 Crimes That Shook the World 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:10 Film: Gun for a Coward (PG) (1956) Western, starring Fred MacMurray. 2:00 Film: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (15) (1990) Western sequel, starring Emilio Estevez. 4:00 Human Target 6:00 Law & Order Two officers are implicated in a murder. 7:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The mummified body of a woman is found in a cupboard. 8:00 CSI: Miami A taxman is shot and killed. 9:00 NCIS 11:00 CSI: Miami 12:00 True Justice 1:00 Close

7:10 Top Gear 10:00 Driving Wars Motorsport show fusing video games and real life. Colin Murray hosts. 11:00 QI 12:20 Top Gear 3:20 Driving Wars 4:20 Top Gear: Polar Challenge The team competes in a 450-mile race from Canada to the North Pole, pitting Richard Hammond’s dog sled against a specially adapted vehicle driven by Jeremy Clarkson and James May. 5:20 Top Gear Bolivia Special 7:00 Gavin & Stacey 1:35 I’m Alan Partridge 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 7:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Netcrackers 9:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10:00 Golf Special 11:00 Netcrackers 11:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 12:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka.

3:30 Test Cricket 4:30 Cricket Special 6:30 Super League 7:00 Test Cricket 8:00 Test Cricket 9:00 Cricket Special 11:00 Ashes Memories 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Bottom Line 8:00 Premiership Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Premiership Years 2:00 Kings of the Snow 2:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3:00 Snooker 4:00 WWE Wrestling 5:00 WWE: Raw 7:00 IRB Rugby Sevens 9:00 Show Jumping 10:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 11:00 WWE: Late Night – Afterburn 12:00 WWE: NXT 1:00 WWE Wrestling 2:00 Live WWE: Late Night – Raw 4:15 Sky Sports Classics 4:30 Show Jumping 5:30 Wild Spirits

The Borrowers 7.30pm on BBC one Fantasy adventure about a family of miniature people living beneath the floorboards of a house. Aisling Loftus plays teenage Borrower Arrietty, desperate to explore life beyond her hidden home, with Christopher Eccleston and Sharon Horgan as her parents.

Springwatch Christmas Special 7.00pm on BBC TWO Highlights from the past year of the series, which featured Kate Humble, Chris Packham and Martin Hughes-Games following the fortunes of wildlife at the Ynys-hir nature reserve in Powys, home to red kites and pied flycatchers. Plus, an update on nature stories that made the headlines in 2011.

Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs 7.05pm on CHANNEL5 A countdown of songs guaranteed to make any Christmas party go with a swing, including classics by the Jackson 5 and Jona Lewie.

11:00 Those Glory, Glory Days (PG) (1983) 12:50 Elf (PG) (2003) 2:40 Journey to the Centre of the Earth (U) (1959) 5:15 Deck the Halls (PG) (2006) Comedy, starring Danny DeVito. 7:00 Edward Scissorhands (PG) (1990) Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp.

9:00 Transformers (12) (2007) Sci-fi action adventure, starring Shia LaBeouf.

11:45 Timecrimes (15) (2007) Sci-fi thriller, starring Karra Elejalde. 1:45 The Fountain (12) (2006) Sci-fi drama, starring Hugh Jackman. 3:45 Close

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55

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Tuesday, 27th December

Tuesday 27th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 8:05 Match of the Day (R) 9:40 FILM: The Road to El Dorado (U) (2000) Animated adventure, with the voice of Kenneth Branagh.

11:00 FILM: Hotel for Dogs (U) (2009) Premiere. Family comedy, starring Emma Roberts and Jake T Austin.

12:35 BBC News; Weather 12:45 Regional News; Weather 12:50 EastEnders 2:50 The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe (R) 3:50 FILM: Bedtime Stories (PG) (2008) Premiere. Fantasy comedy, starring Adam Sandler.

5:20 BBC News; Weather 5:30 Spotlight; Weather 5:35 Celebrity Mastermind 6:05 FILM: Shrek the Third (U) (2007) Animated sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers.

7:30 EastEnders Derek reminds Pat how ruthless he can be.

8:00 Holby City Elliot is lured to Ukraine by a group of students to perform heart surgery, and Sacha puts aside his seemingly unrequited feelings for Chrissie to bring her some Christmas cheer.

9:00 Great Expectations New series.

Adaptation of the Dickens novel, starring Ray Winstone and Douglas Booth.

10:00 BBC News 10:10 Regional News; Weather; National Lottery Update 10:15 John Bishop’s Britain Christmas Special The Liverpudlian comic turns his attention to the festive holiday.

10:45 FILM: Tropic Thunder (15) (2008) Premiere. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. 12:25 FILM: The Heartbreak Kid (15) (2007) Romantic comedy, starring Ben Stiller and Michelle Monaghan.

2:15 Weatherview 2:20 Sign Zone: Frozen Planet (R) 3:20 Sign Zone: Raymond Blanc’s Christmas Feast (R) 4:20 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 9:15 FILM: Camp Rock (PG) (2008) Romantic teen musical, starring Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas.

10:45 Madagascar (R) 11:45 Yellowstone (R) 12:45 Live Horse Racing Including the 2.10 Welsh Grand National.

3:05 Watching the Wild: Cornish Seals (R) 3:15 Coast (R) 4:15 Flog It! 5:00 Escape to the Country (R) 5:45 Antiques Road Trip (R) 6:30 Christmas University Challenge 7:00 Hi-de-Hi! Jeffrey arranges an interview for Peggy, whose burning ambition is to become a Yellowcoat.

Starring Su Pollard and Simon Cadell.

Being shown as a tribute to David Croft.

(R) 7:30 Dad’s Army With the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard now established, Captain Mainwaring sets about trying to get equipment for the platoon. (R) 8:00 You Have Been Watching – David Croft A tribute to the TV comedy writer.

9:00 Three Men Go to New England Rory McGrath, Griff Rhys Jones and Dara O Briain embark on another voyage, travelling from New England to New York to mark the Statue of Liberty’s 125th birthday. Concludes tomorrow.

10:00 Have I Got News for You Alexander Armstrong hosts the current affairs quiz. (R) 10:30 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars Jo Brand invites QI presenter Stephen Fry to sample new cultural experiences.

11:00 Mock the Week Highlights from the recent series, hosted by Dara O Briain. (R) 11:30 The Toys That Made Christmas A look back at playthings of the past. (R) 1:00 The Grumpy Guide to Work (R) 1:30 FILM: I Walked with a Zombie (PG) (1943) Horror, with Frances Dee. 2:35 BBC News 4:20 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:05 FILM: The Prince and the Pauper (PG) (1977) Period drama, starring Oliver Reed.

9:25 FILM: King Ralph (PG) (1991) Comedy, starring John Goodman.

11:15 ITV News 11:25 Channel News and Weather 11:30 FILM: From Time to Time (PG) (2009) Family fantasy adventure, starring Alex Etel.

1:20 FILM: Cats & Dogs (PG) (2001) Comedy, starring Jeff Goldblum.

3:00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (R) 4:00 You’ve Been Framed! (R) 4:30 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (12) (2008) Fantasy adventure sequel, with Brendan Fraser.

6:30 Channel News; Weather 6:35 News Review 2011 6:45 ITV News 7:00 Emmerdale Cameron’s anger boils over when Debbie informs him of her plan.

7:30 The Adventurer’s Guide to Britain A visit to Exmoor sees Charlotte Uhlenbroek experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime encounter with the area’s wild ponies Last in the series.

8:00 Susan Boyle: An Unlikely Superstar Film-maker Osca Humphreys follows the day-to-day life of the singer, from the recording studio to a stadium gig in Shanghai, and asks how she is coping with her fame and fortune. (R) 9:00 Fast Freddie, the Widow and Me Drama, starring Laurence Fox and Sarah Smart.

10:30 FILM: King Kong (12) (2005) Peter Jackson’s remake of the fantasy adventure, starring Naomi Watts.

11:30 ITV News 11:44 Channel Islands Weather Summary 11:45 FILM: King Kong (12) (2005) Concluded.

2:10 Premiership Rugby Union ITV News Headlines 3:05 Kojak (R) 3:55 ITV Nightscreen

5:55 Brothers & Sisters (R) 6:40 Sali Mali (R) 6:45 The Treacle People (R) 6:55 The Hoobs (R) 7:20 Famous Fred (R) 7:50 Little Wolf’s Book of Badness (R) 8:15 Perfect Couples 8:40 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:10 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:40 Frasier (R) 10:10 Frasier (R) 10:40 The Big Bang Theory 11:05 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Simpsons (R) 12:00 The Simpsons (R) 12:30 FILM: Five Children and It (U) (2004) Children’s fantasy, with Kenneth Branagh.

2:15 FILM: Penelope (2006) Premiere.

Romantic fantasy, starring Christina Ricci.

4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Christmas Coach Trip 5:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:25 4thought.tv 7:30 Come Dine with Me: Celebrity Christmas Special Former Big Brother contestant Nick Bateman hosts the second dinner party.

8:00 Big Fat Gypsy Christmas The festive season, traveller-style. (R) 9:00 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 Hosted by Jimmy Carr.

11:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special (R) 12:10 Comedy Lab: Mr & Mrs Hotty Hott Hot Show 12:40 Random Acts 12:45 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 1:40 Extreme Sailing Series 2:05 Sailing 2:35 Freesports on 4 (R) 3:00 Beach Volleyball 4:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 4:25 World War II: The Last Heroes (R) 5:20 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:05 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 11:20 World’s Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers (R) 12:25 5 News Lunchtime 12:35 FILM: Crazy for Christmas (PG) (2005) Drama, starring Andrea Roth.

2:25 FILM: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (PG) (2002) Family comedy, starring Connie Sellecca.

4:10 FILM: Twice Upon a Time (PG) (1998) Drama, starring Molly Ringwald.

5:55 FILM: Little Women (U) (1994) Period drama, starring Winona Ryder; 5 News Update 8:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 All the action from the opening heat of the finals, taking place in North Carolina, where Britain’s Mark Felix is among the six competitors aiming to progress; 5 News at 9 9:00 Carry On Christmas First in an evening of Carry On programmes celebrating the popular comedy film series. The gang’s first TV special, originally broadcast in 1969, which consists of a series of sketches based on classic festive story A Christmas Carol – with supporting characters including Frankenstein’s monster and Dracula. Sid James heads the cast as Scrooge, with Barbara Windsor, Frankie Howerd, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques and Bernard Bresslaw. (R) 10:05 The Greatest Ever Carry On Films A rundown of the most memorable moments from the classic comedy film series, including flying bikinis, suggestive laughs and infamous catchphrases.

11:05 Cor, Blimey! Drama based on the real-life affair between Sid James and Barbara Windsor, who met on the set of the Carry On films. (R) 1:10 SuperCasino 3:55 Meals in Moments (R) 4:05 The Gadget Show Christmas Eve Special (R) 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 Winter Wipeout Christmas Special 8:00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Christmas Revenge Women featured in the programme seek revenge on their husbands. 9:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 Concluding the irreverent review of the year. 10:30 EastEnders 11:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:30 Family Guy 12:15 American Dad! 1:00 Little Britain Abroad 2:00 Him & Her 3:00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 4:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 5:30 Close

7:00 Wonders of the Universe The creation and destruction of matter. 8:00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain New series.

Presented by Professor Bruce Hood.

9:00 Film: Waterloo (PG) (1970) Historical drama, starring Rod Steiger.

11:05 Night on Film – An A-Z of the Dark 12:05 Jerusalem: The Making of a Holy City 1:05 Wonders of the Universe 2:05 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain 3:05 Jerusalem on a Plate 4:05 Close

6:00 Drama Trails 6:10 On the Buses 6:45 Film: Columbo: It’s All in the Game (PG) (1993) 8:45 Film: Agatha Christie’s The Man in the Brown Suit (PG) (1989) 10:35 George and Mildred 11:10 Duty Free 12:15 Dancing on Ice Live Tour 2011 1:20 Film: Up Pompeii (15) (1971) 3:05 Film: Carry On Cleo (PG) (1964) 4:55 Tom Brown’s Schooldays 6:50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00 Film: Fierce Creatures (12) (1997) 11:00 Film: Arthur (15) (1981) 12:55 Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide 2:35 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Goals 6:10 The Force 6:35 The Professionals 12:25 Film: Night Passage (U) (1957) 2:20 Film: Support Your Local Gunfighter (U) (1971) Western, with James Garner. 4:15 Film: Spartacus (PG) (1960) Roman epic, with Kirk Douglas.

8:00 Premiership Rugby Union 9:00 Film: The Quest (18) (1996) Adventure, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. 11:00 Film: American Gangster (18) (2007) 2:05 Mark Watson Kicks Off 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Bite Size Brainiac 10:15 Film: Merlin: The Return (PG) (2000) Magical fantasy, starring Rik Mayall.

12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Dog Squad 5:00 Riverdance in Beijing 7:00 Riverdance in China 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Cop Squad 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 1:50 Real Filth Fighters 2:40 Luton Airport 3:30 My Pet Shame 4:20 Wedding SOS 5:10 Guilty!

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56

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Tuesday, 27th December

2011

Tuesday 27th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family (R) 11:30 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle (R) 12:30 The Middle (R) 1:00 Futurama (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Safebreakers (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS 4:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 5:00 The Simpsons (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Principal Skinner is exposed as an imposter during a ceremony celebrating his 20th year as head of Springfield Elementary. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons A carnival worker moves in with the Simpsons. (R) 8:00 Futurama Fry helps Zoidberg find a mate. (R) 8:30 The Simpsons A Pulp Fiction-style trip through Springfield. (R) 9:00 Catherine Tate’s Little Cracker Festive tale, written by Catherine Tate.

(R) 9:15 Dawn French’s Little Cracker Dawn French’s film recalls a visit by the Queen Mother. (R) 9:30 Trollied Julie tries to help Gavin move on from his wife’s death. (R) 10:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Karl Pilkington travels to Africa to spend time with gorillas. (R) 11:00 A League of Their Own With Phill Jupitus and Peter Crouch. (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:15 Road Wars (R) 1:45 Night Cops (R) 2:35 Armed and Dangerous: Ultimate Forces (R) 3:25 Deadwood (R) 4:20 Hello Goodbye (R) 5:10 A Different Breed (R)

6:00 Zac Efron: The Hot Desk (R) 6:10 Nanny 911 (R) 7:00 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 7:30 Coronation Street (R) 8:30 Emmerdale (R) 9:00 The Xtra Factor: Tulisa’s Best and Worst (R) 10:00 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 11:00 FILM: Jack Frost (PG) (1998) Family fantasy drama, starring Michael Keaton.

1:00 The Only Way Is EsseXmas Christmas edition of the reality show. (R) 2:00 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (PG) (1998) Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

4:30 Coronation Street Hour-long episode. The police arrive at the Rovers to question Tracy. (R) 5:30 Emmerdale Andy reluctantly agrees to Debbie’s latest proposal. (R) 6:00 Peter Andre: My Life at Christmas In a seasonal edition of the reality show, Peter attempts to organise the perfect feast for his nearest and dearest and his children write their notes to Santa Claus. (R) 7:00 FILM: Nanny McPhee (U) (2005) A widower is struggling to control his seven unruly children, until a strange-looking nanny steps in. Period fantasy adventure, with Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Kelly Macdonald. Includes FYI Daily.

9:00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (15) (1991) A cyborg is sent back in time to protect the future saviour of the human race and avert a nuclear war.

Sci-fi action adventure sequel, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton. Includes FYI Daily.

11:45 The Jonathan Ross Show Christmas special, featuring Tom Cruise, the Inbetweeners stars, and Downton Abbey actresses Laura Carmichael, Jessica Brown Findlay and Michelle Dockery. (R) 1:05 Emmerdale (R) 1:35 The Vampire Diaries (R) 2:20 The Vampire Diaries (R) 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:30 Wildfire (R) 8:25 One Tree Hill (R) 9:20 Smallville (R) 10:10 Made in Chelsea (R) 11:10 Made in Chelsea (R) 12:15 Greek (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:40 Scrubs (R) 2:10 Hollyoaks (R) 2:45 FILM: Star Trek: Generations (PG) (1994) Sci-fi sequel, starring Patrick Stewart and William Shatner.

5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:25 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks The gulf in Theresa and Will’s relationship widens as the students prepare to visit Barney’s home. Texas becomes jealous of Jodie, and Mercedes denies Riley access to Bobby.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother An activist called Zoey sets her sights on saving a landmark building, unaware that it is being replaced by one Ted is designing – putting him in an awkward spot when they meet. (R) 8:00 Shipwrecked: The Island Bear, Dom and Tristan seek revenge when Carl asks them to dress up in drag, while Joe, Anna and Brimes are sent to another island for 48 hours.

9:00 FILM: Drillbit Taylor (12) (2008) Three kids hire a bodyguard to get them through high school in one piece, but find he is not the hardened soldier he claims to be. Comedy, starring Owen Wilson and Leslie Mann.

10:55 The Big Bang Theory Penny feels threatened by a sexy woman. (R) 11:25 The Big Bang Theory (R) 11:50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special With Ruth Jones, David Walliams, Jedward and Steps. (R) 12:50 Scrubs (R) 1:20 Scrubs (R) 1:50 How I Met Your Mother (R) 2:15 How to Be Famous (R) 4:05 Greek (R) 4:45 Wildfire (R)

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Blue Bloods 9:00 Battlestar Galactica 10:00 Enlightened 10:35 Hung 11:10 In Treatment 12:10 Battlestar Galactica 1:10 In Treatment 2:10 Enlightened 2:45 Hung 3:20 Six Feet Under 4:30 The Life and Times of Tim 5:00 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:25 Burn Notice 3:20 Knight Rider 5:20 Film: Stand By Me (15) (1986) Coming-of-age drama, starring River Phoenix. 7:00 The Mentalist A witness is killed in Van Pelt’s care. 8:00 Film: Christmas with the Kranks (PG) (2004) A couple plan to skip Christmas, prompting a busybody neighbour to mobilise the community into making them change their minds. Comedy, with Jamie Lee Curtis. 10:00 Alphas 11:00 The Mentalist 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:10 Film: Mrs Santa Claus (PG) (1996) Period musical, starring Angela Lansbury. 2:00 Film: Mrs Miracle 2: Miracle in Manhattan (PG) (2010) Family drama sequel, starring Doris Roberts. 4:00 Human Target 6:00 Law & Order 7:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A murder is committed at a cinema. 8:00 CSI: Miami A woman working for a dating agency is killed.

9:00 NCIS 11:00 Human Target 12:00 True Justice 1:00 Close

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:55 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 2:00 Live Football League Sheffield United v Notts County (Kick-off 2.15pm). All the action from the League One encounter at Bramall Lane, where the sides meet for the first time since the 1998/99 campaign. 4:30 Live Football Special Swansea City v Queens Park Rangers (Kick-off 5.00pm). The first match in this evening’s Premier League double bill comes from the Liberty Stadium. 7:15 Live Football Special Norwich City v Tottenham Hotspur (Kick-off 7.30pm). This evening’s concluding Premier League encounter comes from Carrow Road. 10:00 You’re on Sky Sports! 11:00 SPL Round-Up 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 9:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10:00 Football First 11:30 Football First 1:00 Live Darts 5:00 Super League 5:30 Football Asia 6:00 Badminton 7:00 Live Darts 11:00 Golf Special 12:00 Football Special 1:30 SPL Round-Up 2:00 Football Asia 2:30 Premiership Rugby Union 3:30 Football Special 5:00 SPL Round-Up 5:30 Football Asia

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Afterburn 8:00 Premiership Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 WWE: Smackdown 2:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 3:30 Ashes Memories 4:00 Live Premiership Rugby Union Harlequins v Saracens (Kick-off 4.30pm). 6:30 Rugby Union The best tries of 2011. 7:00 IRB Rugby Sevens The Dubai Sevens. 9:00 Test Cricket 10:00 Test Cricket 11:00 Premiership Rugby Union 12:00 Golf 12:30 Football’s Greatest 1:00 Darts 5:00 Badminton

7:10 Top Gear: Polar Challenge 8:00 Top Gear Bolivia Special 9:40 Driving Wars 10:40 Shooting Stars 11:20 Top Gear: Polar Challenge 12:20 Top Gear Bolivia Special 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 TOTP2 5:00 Top Gear 6:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You Benedict Cumberbatch hosts the quiz. 7:00 Driving Wars Norfolk firefighters take on three go-kart racers. 8:00 Top Gear Designing an amphibious car. 9:00 Mock the Week 2:05 Shooting Stars 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

You Have Been Watching – David Croft 8.00pm on BBC TWO From Dad’s Army to ‘Allo ‘Allo!, Are You Being Served? to Hide-Hi! – David Croft, who died last September, co-wrote them all. This documentary pays tribute to the screenwriter, with contributions from friends, family and colleagues.

Fast Freddie, the Widow and Me 9.00pm on itv 1 Lewis star Laurence Fox drops his nice-guy persona to play brash, wealthy, narrow-minded luxury-car dealer Jonathan, who is found guilty of drinkdriving and served with an order to spend the run-up to Christmas helping out at a support organisation for troubled young adults.

Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 9.00pm on Channel 4 Jimmy Carr tests a panel of celebrities on their knowledge of events in 2011, with question setters including Ian McKellen, Will Ferrell and Quentin Tarantino.

11:00 Valiant (U) (2005) 12:30 Cocoon (PG) (1985) 2:45 Captain Horatio Hornblower RN (U) (1951) 5:00 The Muppet Christmas Carol (U) (1992) 6:40 Marley and Me (PG) (2008) 9:00 In Bruges (18) (2008) Black comedy, starring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. 11:05 Monsters (12) (2010) Sci-fi drama, with Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy. 12:55 M*A*S*H (15) (1970) Korean War comedy drama, starring Donald Sutherland. 3:10 Six Shooter 3:45 Close

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57

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December Wednesday, 28th2011 December

2011

Wednesday 28th

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 FILM: Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (U) (2002) Family adventure sequel, starring Antonio Banderas.

10:35 FILM: High School Musical 2 (U) (2007) Sequel to the teen musical, starring Zac Efron.

12:20 BBC News; Weather 12:30 Regional News; Weather 12:35 Only Fools and Horses (R) 1:25 The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook (R) 2:30 FILM: Shall We Dance? (12) (2004) Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon.

4:05 FILM: Bedknobs and Broomsticks (U) (1971) Disney musical fantasy, starring Angela Lansbury.

6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:20 Spotlight; Weather 6:30 Celebrity Mastermind 7:00 Frozen Planet Christmas Special Highlights of the recent series.

8:00 Countryfile Ellie Harrison visits the Ernest Cook estate in Gloucestershire, while Julia Bradbury explores the racing heritage of the Goodwood estate in West Sussex.

Including Weather for the Week Ahead.

9:00 Great Expectations Pip finds himself in debt owing to his expensive taste.

10:00 BBC News 10:10 Regional News; Weather 10:20 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws Scott Mills presents.

10:30 Comic Relief 2011: What a Cracker Comedy highlights and updates from the fundraising event; National Lottery Update 12:00 FILM: It’s a Boy Girl Thing (12) (2006) Romantic comedy, with Samaire Armstrong and Kevin Zegers.

1:25 Weatherview 1:30 Sign Zone: Great Expectations Adaptation of the Dickens novel, starring Ray Winstone and Douglas Booth. (R) 2:30 FILM: Sign Zone: Nativity! (U) (2009) Comedy, starring Martin Freeman.

4:10 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 9:00 FILM: The Country Bears (U) (2002) Children’s musical adventure, with the voice of Haley Joel Osment.

10:25 Madagascar (R) 11:25 Yellowstone (R) 12:25 The Many Faces of Michael Caine (R) 1:25 FILM: The Man Who Would Be King (PG) (1975) Period adventure, starring Sean Connery and Michael Caine.

3:30 Flog It! (R) 4:30 Escape to the Country (R) 5:30 Antiques Road Trip (R) 6:15 Porridge (R) 7:00 Sir Jimmy Savile at the BBC: How’s About That Then? Footage from the BBC archive of the DJ and broadcaster, who died in October at his home in Leeds, including his appearances on Top of the Pops and Jim’ll Fix It. 8:00 Top Gear In this year’s Top Gear special, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May set out to boost the British economy by embarking on a trade mission to India.

9:30 Three Men Go to New England Rory McGrath, Griff Rhys Jones and Dara O Briain try their hands at sports fishing on their way to Cape Cod, and begin to doubt they will persuade any boats to join the flotilla.

10:30 Dara O Briain: This Is the Show The comedian performs at the Hammersmith Apollo in 2010, mixing off-the-cuff audience interaction with prepared material before ending with a star-studded finale.

11:30 Sir Jimmy Savile: As It Happened A tribute to the DJ, broadcaster and fundraiser, who died in October. Including footage of the former Jim’ll Fix It presenter and interviews with family and showbiz friends. (R) 12:00 QI (R) 12:30 Being Ronnie Corbett (R) 1:30 FILM: The Leopard Man (18) (1943) Mystery, starring Jean Brooks.

2:35 BBC News 4:10 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:35 FILM: K-9 (12) (1989) Police comedy, starring James Belushi.

9:25 Countrywise at Christmas (R) 10:25 FILM: The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (PG) (1966) Comedy, starring Frankie Howerd.

12:05 All Star Family Fortunes (R) 1:05 ITV News 1:25 Channel News and Weather 1:30 Grease: After They Were Famous (R) 2:35 Midsomer Murders (R) 4:30 Lewis (R) 6:30 Channel News; Weather 6:35 News Review 2011 6:45 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Jai is arrested and charged with attempted murder on the day Cain returns to the village. Hannah talks to John about his wedding anniversary, but is shocked by his response.

7:30 Countrywise Kitchen: New Year Festive Feasts Winter ingredients ideal for entertaining. Last in the series.

8:00 Ad of the Year A countdown of the 20 best TV commercials of 2011 as voted for by viewers, featuring interviews with the creators and stars of some of the shortlisted adverts.

9:00 It’ll Be Alright on the Night A collection of amusing out-takes, presented by Griff Rhys Jones.

10:00 ITV News at Ten 10:10 Channel News and Weather 10:15 Benidorm Madge and Janice are held hostage. (R) 11:20 The Jonathan Ross Show With Tom Cruise and the Inbetweeners stars.

(R) 12:30 Countrywise (R) 12:55 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) 1:45 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency (R) ITV News Headlines 2:30 FILM: Village of the Damned (15) (1995) Sci-fi thriller remake, starring Christopher Reeve.

4:10 ITV Nightscreen

6:10 Treacle People Christmas Special (R) 6:30 The Hoobs (R) 6:55 The Hoobs (R) 7:20 Wilde Stories (R) 7:50 Perfect Couples 8:15 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:15 Frasier (R) 9:45 The Big Bang Theory 10:15 The Big Bang Theory 10:45 The Simpsons (R) 11:15 The Simpsons (R) 11:45 FILM: Firehouse Dog (PG) (2007) Premiere. Family comedy, starring Josh Hutcherson.

1:50 FILM: Star Trek: First Contact (12) (1996) Sci-fi adventure, starring Patrick Stewart.

4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Christmas Coach Trip 5:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:25 4thought.tv 7:30 Come Dine with Me: Celebrity Christmas Special 8:00 Jon Snow’s 2011 The broadcaster’s pick of the year’s major news stories.

9:00 The Untold Tommy Cooper The life of the much-loved comedian and magician.

10:35 Felix and Murdo 11:10 The Armstrong & Miller Show – Best Bits 11:40 Ben Elton: Laughing at the 80s 1:35 Random Acts 1:40 Music on 4: Live from Abbey Road 2:25 Music on 4: Taio Cruz: Life of a Rockstar (R) 2:50 Music on 4: The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 3:05 Happy Endings 3:30 Happy Endings 3:55 FILM: Bugles in the Afternoon (U) (1952) Western, starring Ray Milland.

5:20 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Mickey’s Delayed Date 10:40 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:10 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 12:10 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 FILM: Apache Drums (U) (1951) A gunslinging gambler joins forces with a group of settlers determined to fend off a series of Apache attacks. Western, starring Stephen McNally.

1:50 FILM: Six Black Horses (PG) (1962) A tough frontier woman hires two trackers to help find her missing husband – but is not telling them the whole truth. Western, starring Joan O’Brien, Audie Murphy and Dan Duryea.

3:25 FILM: Custer of the West (U) (1967) Historical biopic about the life of the controversial American cavalry commander who met his end at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. With Robert Shaw, Mary Ure and Jeffrey Hunter.

6:10 The Witches of Oz Part one of two. Fantasy adventure starring Paulie Rojas as Dorothy Gale, who tries to stop the inhabitants of Oz from executing their plans for world domination.

Concludes tomorrow; 5 News Update 8:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 James Richardson and Caroline Pearce present all the action from heat two of the finals at Wingate University in North Carolina. British competitor Laurence Shahlaei set a new strongman world record for the deadlift in the Giants Live qualifying series, and now he takes on five competitors in tests including the squat lift, truck pull, giant dumbbell press and Atlas stones; 5 News at 9 9:00 Ben Hur Historical drama, starring Joseph Morgan.

12:30 Poker: The Big Game Top amateur players compete against professionals.

1:30 SuperCasino 4:00 Meals in Moments (R) 4:10 Wildlife SOS (R) 4:35 Wildlife SOS (R) 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe The Time Lord helps a wartime widow and her children realise their dreams. 8:00 Film: Son of Rambow (12) (2008) Coming-of-age comedy, starring Bill Milner. 9:30 Russell Howard’s Good News The comedian’s perspective on the news. 10:00 Film: Armageddon (12) (1998) Sci-fi thriller, starring Bruce Willis.

12:20 Family Guy 1:05 Little Britain 2:05 Him & Her 3:00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 4:00 Ideal 5:00 Mongrels 5:30 Close

7:00 Wonders of the Universe 8:00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain 9:00 Film: Mongol: The Rise to Power of Genghis Khan (15) (2008) 10:40 Timewatch: The Secret History of Genghis Khan 11:30 Timeshift: Epic – A Cast of Thousands!

12:30 Wonders of the Universe 1:30 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain 2:30 The Search for Life: The Drake Equation 3:30 Timewatch: The Secret History of Genghis Khan 4:20 Close

6:00 Goodbye Mr Chips 7:55 Film: Columbo: Ashes to Ashes (PG) (1998) 9:55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12:10 Film: Santa Claus: The Movie (U) (1985) Adventure, starring Dudley Moore. 2:20 Film: Mutiny on the Buses (PG) (1972) Comedy, starring Reg Varney. 4:05 On the Buses 5:10 Film: Carry On Girls (PG) (1973) Comedy, starring Sid James. 7:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00 A Touch of Frost 11:00 Jane Eyre 1:15 The Turn of the Screw 2:50 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Film File 6:10 The Professionals 7:00 Minder 7:55 The Saint 8:55 The Sweeney 9:50 World’s Wildest Police Videos 10:50 The Professionals 11:50 Minder 12:55 Saint 1:55 Sweeney 2:55 The Fall Guy 3:55 Batman 5:00 The Professionals 6:00 Premiership Rugby Union 7:00 Film: Any Which Way You Can (15) (1980) 9:15 Film: Ticker (15) (2001) 11:05 Film: Mad Max 2 (18) (1981) 1:05 Back on the Job: Shane Lynch 2:00 Back on the Job: Joe Swash 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Bite Size Brainiac 10:15 Film: Journey to the Center of the Earth (PG) (2008) Fantasy adventure, starring Rick Schroder. 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Four Weddings 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Lie to Me 10:00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 1:50 Real Filth Fighters 2:40 Luton Airport 3:30 My Pet Shame 4:20 Wedding SOS 4:45 Crash Test Dummies 5:10 Guilty!

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58

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Wednesday, 28th December

2011

Wednesday 28th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family (R) 11:25 Modern Family: Julie Bowen Interview (R) 11:35 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle (R) 12:30 The Middle (R) 1:00 Futurama (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Safebreakers (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS (R) 4:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 5:00 The Simpsons (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons A tax audit leads Homer into big trouble, forcing him to make amends by helping the government nail Mr Burns for stealing a trillion-dollar banknote. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Homer becomes a submarine captain. (R) 8:00 Futurama The Professor chooses his successor. (R) 8:30 The Simpsons Bart is hailed a child genius.

9:00 Kathy Burke’s Little Cracker Kathy Burke recalls a life-changing encounter. (R) 9:15 Victoria Wood’s Little Cracker A sombre Christmas memory from 1961. (R) 9:30 Trollied The new area manager asks Julie for a favour. (R) 10:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Karl Pilkington travels along America’s Route 66. (R) 11:00 A League of Their Own (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:15 Cop Squad (R) 2:15 Night Cops (R) 3:15 Armed and Dangerous: Ultimate Forces (R) 4:10 Deadwood 5:10 A Different Breed (R)

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 6:25 Pushing Daisies (R) 7:15 Pushing Daisies (R) 8:05 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 8:30 The Xtra Factor: Caroline and Olly’s Best and Worst (R) 9:30 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 10:30 I’m a Celebrity: Best Trials Ever (R) 11:30 Westlife: For the Last Time (R) 12:30 Emmerdale Cameron’s anger boils over when Debbie informs him of her plan. (R) 1:05 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Chris Tarrant invites more famous faces to play for charity. (R) 2:15 FILM: Catwoman (12) (2004) Superhero adventure, starring Halle Berry.

4:25 FILM: Free Willy (PG) (1993) Family drama, starring Jason James Richter.

6:40 FILM: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (PG) (2005) A penniless boy wins a once-in-a-lifetime tour of a magical sweet factory. Fantasy, starring Johnny Depp.

9:00 Peter Andre: My Life The singer takes his children to Lapland to meet Santa and his elves. Back home and with his throat problems behind him, Peter prepares for a gig in Norfolk. Last in the series.

10:00 Perez Hilton Superfan: Enrique Iglesias Gossip blogger Perez Hilton spends time with Spanish pop star Enrique Iglesias, going behind the scenes at the singer’s concert at Los Angeles’ Staples Centre. Last in the series.

11:00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (12) (2002) An amnesiac man pulled from the sea by the crew of a fishing boat is targeted by assassins as he tries to discover who he is. Thriller, starring Matt Damon. Includes FYI Daily.

1:20 Emmerdale (R) 1:50 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Christmas Special (R) 3:05 The Vampire Diaries (R) 3:50 Teleshopping 5:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:50 Smallville (R) 7:35 Wildfire (R) 8:25 One Tree Hill (R) 9:20 Smallville (R) 10:15 Made in Chelsea (R) 11:15 Made in Chelsea (R) 12:15 Greek (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:40 Scrubs (R) 2:10 Hollyoaks (R) 2:45 FILM: Black Knight (PG) (2001) Adventure, starring Martin Lawrence.

4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:30 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks An unexpected arrival threatens to spoil the students’ fun on their luxury break, and Daytona Lights prepare for a big opportunity.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Lily and Marshall discuss baby names after visiting two of their friends and struggle to find common ground, while Robin has a problem with a colleague. (R) 8:00 Charlie’s Angels The team is sent to rescue a kidnapped family, but soon discovers there is a larger plan behind the abduction. Crime drama, starring Rachael Taylor and Minka Kelly.

9:00 FILM: Independence Day (12) (1996) The US president leads the fight against a force of seemingly indestructible aliens intent on conquering Earth. Adventure, with Will Smith, Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum.

11:45 FILM: Mr Woodcock (12) (2007) A writer is shocked when his mother agrees to marry the PE teacher who made his life a misery at school. Comedy, starring Billy Bob Thornton.

1:25 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:55 The Big Bang Theory (R) 2:20 Scrubs (R) 2:45 Scrubs (R) 3:10 How I Met Your Mother (R) 3:35 Greek (R) 4:15 Rules of Engagement (R) 4:35 Wildfire (R) 5:20 Switched (R)

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party Psychological game show. 9:00 The Sopranos Furio visits his father in Italy.

10:15 Boardwalk Empire 11:25 The Devil’s Dinner Party 12:25 Game of Thrones 1:40 The Sopranos 2:55 Big Love 4:05 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:30 Film: Stand By Me (15) (1986) Drama, with River Phoenix. 3:05 Knight Rider 5:00 Film: Christmas with the Kranks (PG) (2004) Festive comedy, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Tim Allen.

7:00 The Mentalist 10:00 Film: One Missed Call (15) (2008) Horror, starring Shannyn Sossamon. 11:45 Generation Sex Discussion on attitudes toward sex, including contributions from celebrities, comedians and viewers. 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:15 Film: All I Want for Christmas (12) (2007) Drama, starring Gail O’Grady. 2:00 Film: Crazy for Christmas (PG) (2005) Family drama, starring Andrea Roth. 4:00 Human Target 5:55 Inside Hollywood 6:00 Law & Order 7:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8:00 CSI: Miami A custody battle leads to a shooting. 9:00 Human Target 10:00 NCIS 11:00 CSI: Miami 12:00 True Justice 12:45 Inside Hollywood 1:00 Close

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:55 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. Coverage of the third day’s play in the Second Test at Kingsmead in Durban. where the three-match series continues.

Coverage continues on Sky Sports 2.

1:00 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship. The afternoon session on day 11 of the tournament at Alexandra Palace in London, which features three matches from the second round. 5:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 5:30 Netbusters 6:00 Premier League Review 7:00 Live Scottish Premier League Football Celtic v Rangers (Kick-off 7.45pm). 10:00 Netbusters 10:30 Premier League Review A look back at recent fixtures. 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Football Special 10:30 Football Asia 11:00 SPL Round-Up 11:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 12:00 Premiership Rugby Union 1:00 Live Test Cricket 3:30 Test Cricket 4:30 Ashes Memories 5:00 NFL 6:00 Solheim Cup Golf 7:00 Live Darts 11:00 Time of Our Lives 12:00 Time of Our Lives 1:00 Scottish Premier League Football 2:30 Football’s Greatest 3:00 FIFA 3:30 Premier League Review 4:30 Scottish Premier League Football

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 Ten Pin Bowling 8:00 Premiership Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Sports Unlimited 1:00 Football Special 2:30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles 3:00 Badminton 4:00 WWE: Afterburn 5:00 Watersports World 6:00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6:30 Extreme Carp 7:00 IRB Rugby Sevens 9:00 Test Cricket 10:00 Test Cricket Australia v India.

11:00 Cage Fighter Mixed martial arts magazine. 11:30 Extreme Carp 12:00 Premier League Bowls 1:00 Darts 5:00 Premier League Bowls

7:05 Dragons’ Den 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 Driving Wars 10:00 Red Dwarf 10:40 Have I Got News for You 11:20 QI 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 Red Dwarf 3:40 Have I Got News for You 4:20 QI 5:00 Top Gear 7:00 Driving Wars Professional polo players take on medical emergency dispatch riders in the competition that fuses video gaming and real-life motorsport. Colin Murray presents. 8:00 Man v Food 9:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

Frozen Planet Christmas Special 7.00pm on BBC one Highlights of the recent series in which David Attenborough takes viewers on a spectacular journey through the polar year.

In the south, spring begins for the male Adelie penguins as they build nests and attract mates.

It’ll Be Alright on the Night 9.00pm on itv 1 Griff Rhys Jones presents a collection of hilarious out-takes featuring stars including Ant and Dec, This Morning’s Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, Harry Hill and Bradley Walsh. Also rescued from the cutting-room floor are unscripted moments from Doc Martin, Celebrity Juice, Come Dine with Me and many others.

Ben Hur 9.00pm on CHANNEL5 A Jewish prince betrayed by his Roman friend and sold into slavery seeks revenge.

Historical drama, starring Joseph Morgan, Ray Winstone and Stephen Campbell Moore.

11:00 Horton Hears a Who! (U) (2008) 12:40 Charlotte’s Web (U) (2006) 2:30 The Quiet Man (U) (1952) 5:05 The Spiderwick Chronicles (PG) (2008) 6:55 Scrooged (PG) (1988) Christmas comedy, starring Bill Murray. 9:00 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (18) (2008) Musical horror, starring Johnny Depp. 11:15 Ip Man (15) (2008) Fact-based martial arts drama, starring Donnie Yen. 1:20 Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! (18) (2008) 3:30 Close

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59

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Thursday, 29th December

Thursday 29th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 CBBC 9:10 FILM: Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (U) (2003) Adventure sequel, starring Antonio Banderas.

10:25 FILM: Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (U) (2011) Premiere.

Comedy, starring Ashley Tisdale.

11:55 FILM: George of the Jungle (U) (1997) Comedy, starring Brendan Fraser.

1:20 BBC News; Weather 1:35 Regional News; Weather 1:40 Only Fools and Horses (R) 2:35 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (R) 3:35 FILM: Superman Returns (12) (2006) Comic-book adventure, starring Brandon Routh.

6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:20 Spotlight; Weather 6:30 Celebrity Mastermind 7:00 Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death The duo open their own bakery and business is soon booming – not least because their potential rivals have all been killed by a mysterious assassin. (R) 7:30 EastEnders Bianca berates Janine for putting more pressure on Pat. 8:00 Earthflight New series. Bird’s-eye view of the natural world.

9:00 Great Expectations Pip is devastated to learn the truth from Magwitch and heads to Satis House, where he hears shocking news about Estella. Starring Douglas Booth and Ray Winstone. Last in the series.

10:00 BBC News 10:10 Regional News; Weather 10:20 Absolutely Fabulous Edina and Patsy return for the first of two specials, which sees a life-changing experience for one of the gang. (R) 10:50 FILM: I Love You, Man (15) (2008) Premiere. Comedy, starring Paul Rudd.

12:30 Skiing Weatherview 12:35 Sign Zone: James May’s Man Lab Xmas Special (R) 1:35 Sign Zone: Great Expectations (R) 2:35 Sign Zone: Lapland (R) 3:50 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:45 FILM: Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure (PG) (1959) Jungle adventure, starring Gordon Scott.

10:05 Madagascar (R) 11:05 Yellowstone (R) 12:05 FILM: The Ipcress File (15) (1965) Thriller, starring Michael Caine.

1:50 FILM: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (PG) (1988) Comedy, starring Michael Caine and Steve Martin.

3:35 Flog It! (R) 4:35 Escape to the Country (R) 5:35 Antiques Road Trip (R) 6:20 FILM: Confessions of a Shopaholic (PG) (2009) Premiere.

Comedy, starring Isla Fisher.

8:00 Dragons’ Den: The Hilary Devey Story Charting the life and career of the show’s newest star, from her beginnings in Bolton to how she overcame a stroke to become one of Britain’s most successful businesswomen.

9:00 QI Stephen Fry presents as actor Brian Blessed and comedians Sean Lock and Ross Noble join regular Alan Davies to answer questions on a theme of ice.

9:30 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Series highlights, with rocker Alice Cooper, TV presenters Lorraine Kelly and Cilla Black, singers James Blunt and Tinie Tempah joining regulars Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus.

10:00 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff An evil lawyer imprisons a Victorian shop owner’s family to force him to repay a mysterious debt. Dickensian comedy, with Robert Webb. (R) 11:00 Have I Got 2010 for You Compilation of highlights from 2010 of the satirical current affairs quiz, hosted

by Alexander Armstrong. (R) 11:30 QI With Ronni Ancona, Dave Gorman and Lee Mack. (R) 12:00 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars (R) 12:30 The John Craven Years (R) 1:30 FILM: The Body Snatcher (PG) (1945) Horror, starring Henry Daniell and Boris Karloff.

2:50 BBC News 3:50 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:40 FILM: New York Minute (PG) (2004) Family comedy, starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

9:25 Countrywise Kitchen: Stocking the Winter Larder (R) 9:55 All Star Family Fortunes (R) 10:55 FILM: The Railway Children (U) (1970) Drama, starring Jenny Agutter.

1:00 ITV News 1:25 Channel News and Weather 1:30 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: After They Were Famous (R) 2:30 Agatha Christie’s Marple (R) 4:30 Inspector Morse (R) 6:30 Channel News; Weather 6:35 Teenage Cancer: The Fight Back 2011 6:45 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Charity tries to persuade Cain to drop his accusation against Jai. 7:30 That Was 2011: The ITV News Review of the Year Part one of two. A look back at the major stories of the past 12 months.

8:00 Emmerdale Charity tells Cain she was present when he was attacked.

8:30 Coronation Street Kevin fears Sophie is making a mistake as her wedding day dawns.

9:00 Paddy’s 2011 Show and Telly Celebrity quiz about the year’s TV, hosted

by Paddy McGuinness.

10:00 ITV News at Ten 10:10 Channel News and Weather 10:15 FILM: Notting Hill (15) (1999) A divorced London bookshop owner falls for a glamorous Hollywood film star, but intrusive media interest nearly ends the affair. Romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts.

12:30 Countrywise (R) 12:55 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) 1:45 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery (R) ITV News Headlines 2:35 FILM: Scarface (18) (1983) Thriller remake, starring Al Pacino.

5:25 ITV Nightscreen

6:15 Sali Mali (R) 6:20 The Hoobs (R) 6:45 The Hoobs (R) 7:10 Wilde Stories (R) 7:40 Perfect Couples 8:05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:05 Frasier (R) 9:35 Frasier (R) 10:05 The Big Bang Theory 10:35 The Big Bang Theory 11:05 The Simpsons (R) 11:35 The Simpsons (R) 12:05 FILM: See Spot Run (PG) (2001) Comedy, starring David Arquette.

1:55 FILM: Never Been Kissed (12) (1999) Romantic comedy, with Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan.

4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Christmas Coach Trip 5:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:25 4thought.tv 7:30 Come Dine with Me: Celebrity Christmas Special Actor Danny Young hosts an Aladdin-themed evening.

8:00 Living with the Amish The teenagers stay with Amish youngsters who want to leave their communities.

Last in the series.

9:00 FILM: Dorian Gray (15) (2009) Premiere. A Victorian man sells his soul for eternal youth, leading a life of debauchery while a painting shows his corrupt true nature. Horror, with Ben Barnes and Colin Firth.

11:10 Comic Strip Presents – The Hunt for Tony Blair Spoof thriller, starring Stephen Mangan. (R) 12:15 Random Acts 12:20 FILM: The Godfather: Part II (18) (1974) Oscar-winning gangster sequel, starring Al Pacino.

3:50 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking (R) 4:45 Brothers & Sisters (R) 5:35 Sali Mali (R) 5:40 The Treacle People (R) 5:50 The Hoobs (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Zoo Days (R) 10:50 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 11:50 5 News Lunchtime 11:55 Ice Road Truckers (R) 12:55 FILM: Back to the Secret Garden (U) (2000) Family drama, starring Camilla Belle.

2:55 FILM: David Copperfield (PG) (2000) Charles Dickens’ drama, starring Hugh Dancy.

6:20 The Witches of Oz Part two of two. Fantasy adventure starring Paulie Rojas as Dorothy Gale, who tries to stop the inhabitants of Oz from executing their plans for world domination; 5 News Update 8:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 Terry Hollands, the 32-year-old from Kent who finished on the podium in 2007 and in eighth place last year, faces five competitors, including Lithuanian Vytautas Lalas and Martin Wildauer from Austria, as they compete in the third heat of the finals in the grounds of Wingate University in North Carolina. The top two will progress to the 10-man final; 5 News at 9 9:00 The Mentalist An undercover policewoman is murdered.

10:00 It’s All About Amy Reality star Amy Childs appears on music quiz Never Mind the Buzzcocks, buys a new car, and reveals her clothing collection on the catwalk at a Britain’s Next Top Model event.

11:00 The Truth About Cheryl Cole Documentary charting the pop star’s rise to fame, from her beginnings on a Newcastle housing estate to success in music and TV, and examining her plans to make it in the US. (R) 12:00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming.

3:55 Meals in Moments With guest Sharron Davies. (R) 4:05 Wildlife SOS (R) 4:30 Wildlife SOS (R) 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 Shrek: Once Upon A Time The success of the animated films. 8:00 Film: Shrek (U) (2001) Animated adventure, with the voice of Mike Myers.

9:25 Most Annoying People of 2011 9:30 Russell Howard’s Good News 10:00 EastEnders 10:30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00 Family Guy 11:45 American Dad! 12:30 Little Britain 1:30 Him & Her 2:30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:30 Ideal 4:30 Shrek: Once Upon A Time 5:25 Close

7:00 Wonders of the Universe The importance of light in the evolution of the universe. Last in the series. 8:00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain 9:00 After Life: The Strange Science of Decay The role of decomposition in nature. 10:30 Frank Skinner on George Formby 11:30 Old Jews Telling Jokes 12:30 Only Connect 1:00 Wonders of the Universe 2:00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 – Meet Your Brain 3:00 Old Jews Telling Jokes 4:00 Close

6:00 Goodnight Sweetheart 7:00 Film: Columbo: Murder with Too Many Notes (15) (2000) 8:55 Film: Carry On Follow That Camel (PG) (1966) Comedy, with Jim Dale.

10:50 Film: Agatha Christie’s Dead Man’s Folly (PG) (1986) 12:40 Jane Austen’s Emma 2:55 Film: On the Buses (PG) (1971) 4:45 Film File 5:00 Film: Little Shop of Horrors (PG) (1986) 6:50 The Darling Buds of May 7:55 The Best of Mr Bean 9:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11:05 Another Audience with Freddie Starr 12:10 Film: Mystic River (15) (2003) 2:35 On the Buses 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Film File 6:10 The Professionals 7:00 Sweeney 7:50 Minder 8:50 Fall Guy 9:50 Batman 10:55 Professionals 11:55 World’s Wildest Police Videos 12:55 The Sweeney 1:55 Minder 3:00 The Fall Guy 4:00 Batman 5:00 The Professionals 6:00 Quantum Leap 7:00 Minder 8:00 Greatest FA Cup Final Goals 8:10 Film: Jaws: The Revenge (12) (1987) 10:00 Film: American Gangster (18) (2007) 1:05 Film: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (15) (1997) 2:55 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:15 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 9:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Bite Size Brainiac 10:15 Film: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (PG) (2001) Fantasy adventure, starring Byron Taylor.

12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin 10:00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 2:05 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 2:40 Luton Airport 3:30 My Pet Shame 4:20 Crash Test Dummies 5:10 Guilty!

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60

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Thursday, 29th December

2011

Thursday 29th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family (R) 11:30 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle (R) 12:30 The Middle (R) 1:00 Futurama (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Matthew Morrison Live at the Hammersmith Apollo (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS (R) 4:00 A League of Their Own (R) 5:00 The Simpsons (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Lisa gets lost en route to the museum. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Grampa gives each member of the family $50, and Lisa anonymously donates her money to Nelson to support his dream of making custom bicycles. (R) 8:00 Futurama Fry falls for a robot. (R) 8:30 The Simpsons Homer and Marge reignite their love life. (R) 9:00 Jo Brand’s Little Cracker Jo Brand recalls her teenage years. (R) 9:15 Meera Syal’s Little Cracker Festive comedy short, written by and starring Meera Syal. (R) 9:30 Trollied Kieran’s girlfriend asks him a serious question. (R) 10:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Karl Pilkington prepares for a 15-hour trek to the summit of Mount Fuji in Japan. (R) 11:00 A League of Their Own With David Walliams and Gary Neville. (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:10 Cop Squad (R) 2:10 Night Cops (R) 3:05 Deadwood (R) 4:05 Hello Goodbye (R) 5:00 Modern Family: Julie Bowen Interview (R) 5:10 Final Chance to Save (R)

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 6:25 Pushing Daisies (R) 7:10 The Xtra Factor: Kelly’s Best and Worst (R) 8:10 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 9:10 I’m a Celebrity: Jungle Gold (R) 10:10 Odd One In (R) 11:00 This Is Justin Bieber (R) 12:00 Emmerdale (R) 12:30 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Christmas Special (R) 2:00 FILM: Innerspace (PG) (1987) Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid.

4:20 FILM: The Scorpion King (12) (2002) Fantasy action adventure, starring Dwayne Johnson.

6:05 FILM: Richie Rich (PG) (1994) A super-rich youngster tries to stop his arch-rival stealing a fortune from his billionaire parents. Family comedy, with Macaulay Culkin.

8:00 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments Robbie Coltrane narrates a countdown of the movie franchise’s best scenes. From Harry’s first meeting with Ron and Hermione aboard the Hogwarts Express through to magical mysteries, spellbinding battles and tragic deaths, every key scene is here. Ralph Fiennes reveals the secrets of being Voldemort, Julie Walters discusses how the young cast grew into such confident adult performers and JK Rowling talks about seeing her words being brought to life on screen. (R) 10:00 Celebrity Juice: 2041 – A Juice Odyssey Highlights of the sixth series of the comedy quiz, with clips of guest including Pamela Anderson, Verne Troyer, Emma Bunton, Ant and Dec, Peter Andre and Stacey Solomon.

11:00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (12) (2004) The amnesiac assassin is framed for a botched CIA operation and faces a fight for survival as he tries to uncover his past. Action thriller sequel, with Matt Damon and Brian Cox. 1:10 Coronation Street (R) 1:40 Emmerdale (R) 2:10 Emmerdale (R) 2:30 Teleshopping 5:30 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:30 Wildfire (R) 8:25 One Tree Hill (R) 9:20 Smallville (R) 10:15 Made in Chelsea (R) 11:10 Made in Chelsea (R) 12:10 Greek (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 2:10 Hollyoaks (R) 2:45 FILM: Alvin and the Chipmunks (U) (2007) Children’s comedy, starring Jason Lee. 4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:25 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Mercedes discovers just how much it might cost to let go of her relationship with Riley. Barney is torn between his friends and his parents, and Jodie eyes a new conquest.

7:35 How I Met Your Mother Marshall feels guilty about firing his assistant. (R) 8:00 The Big Bang Theory Stuart from the comic book shop asks Amy out on a date, but a jealous Sheldon retaliates by asking her to be his girlfriend. Johnny Galecki and Simon Helberg star.

8:30 The Big Bang Theory The flatmates are challenged to a robot duel.

(R) 9:00 How I Met Your Mother Ted meets a girl he set his eyes on 10 years previously. (R) 9:30 Happy Endings 10:00 Jack Whitehall: My Funniest Year The comedian reflects on 2005. (R) 12:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 2:00 How I Met Your Mother (R) 2:20 Greek (R) 3:05 Rules of Engagement (R) 3:25 Wildfire (R) 4:05 Switched (R) 4:30 Switched (R) 4:50 Switched (R) 5:10 Switched (R)

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

Coverage of the fourth day in the First Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

7:55 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. Coverage of the fourth day’s play in the Second Test at Kingsmead in Durban. Coverage continues on Sky Sports 4. 1:00 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship. The afternoon session on day 12 of the tournament at Alexandra Palace in London, which features three matches from the third round. 5:00 Football’s Greatest Managers A profile of Mario Zagallo.

5:30 Premier League World 6:00 Boxing Special 7:00 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship. 10:55 SPL Round-Up 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Inside the Actors Studio 9:00 Alex Crawford: A Year to Remember 10:00 Film: Road to Perdition (15) (2002) Depression-era gangster drama, starring Tom Hanks and Paul Newman. 12:20 Six Feet Under 1:35 Game of Thrones 2:50 Six Feet Under 4:05 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Animal Rescue Squad 1:15 Malcolm in the Middle 1:45 Burn Notice 2:45 Knight Rider 4:45 Film: Shallow Hal (12) (2001) A man obsessed with physical perfection begins to recognise inner beauty after being hypnotised, and falls for an overweight woman. Comedy, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jack Black. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs Festive music countdown. 12:00 Teleshopping Buying goods from home.

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:30 Film: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (PG) (2002) 2:15 Film: A Carol Christmas (PG) (2003) Festive comedy drama, starring Tori Spelling. 4:00 Human Target 5:55 Inside Hollywood 6:00 Law & Order 7:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 NCIS 10:00 Film: Rambo (18) (2008) Action sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone. 11:50 True Justice 12:45 Inside Hollywood 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

7:05 Dragons’ Den 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 Driving Wars 10:00 Red Dwarf 10:40 Have I Got News for You 11:20 QI 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 Red Dwarf 3:40 Have I Got News for You 4:20 QI 5:00 Top Gear 7:00 Driving Wars Motoring journalists take on computer enthusiasts. 8:00 Top Gear The Lotus T125 and a demolition challenge. 9:00 Mock the Week 9:40 QI 11:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 1:45 Dragons’ Den 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Scottish Premier League Football 10:30 FIFA 11:00 Live Tennis 3:00 Premier League Review 4:00 A League Football 4:30 Extreme Carp 5:00 NFL 6:00 Kings of the Snow 6:30 Premier League Review 7:30 SPL Round-Up 8:00 The Rugby Club 9:00 Boxing Special 10:00 Time of Our Lives 11:00 The Rugby Club 12:00 Racemax 1:00 Boxing Special 2:00 Time of Our Lives 3:00 The Rugby Club 4:00 Premier League World 4:30 FIFA 5:00 Time of Our Lives

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style Australia’s fitness fanatics go through their paces once more against a spectacular backdrop. 6:30 Kings of the Snow Skiing and snowboarding highlights. 7:00 WWE: Experience 8:00 Premiership Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 WWE Wrestling 12:00 WWE Special 1:00 WWE Special 2:00 Wrestlemania XXVII Highlights 3:00 WWE Special 4:00 WWE Special 5:00 WWE Special A profile of Big Show.

6:00 WWE Special 7:00 WWE Special 8:00 WWE Special 9:00 WWE Special 11:00 WWE: Late Night – Raw 1:00 WWE: NXT 2:00 Darts

Earthflight 8.00pm on BBC one Bird’s-eye view of the natural world, using cutting-edge filming techniques to follow birds as they travel. Beginning in North America, snow geese face their biggest predator, and pelicans glide under San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge.

Narrated by David Tennant.

Paddy’s 2011 Show and Telly 9.00pm on itv 1 Three pairs of celebrities answer questions about the highlights of this year’s TV dramas, documentaries, comedies and reality programmes. The contestants face a series of eliminations, with the pair who reach the final round getting the chance to win up to £20,000 for the charity of their choice.

The Mentalist 9.00pm on CHANNEL5 Patrick is called to a car park where an undercover policewoman has been shot, and learns she was trying to obtain evidence against a drug dealer.

11:00 Battleship Potemkin (PG) (1925) 12:30 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) (2009) 2:20 Darby’s Rangers (PG) (1957) 4:40 Time Bandits (PG) (1981) 6:55 St Trinian’s (12) (2007) Comedy, starring Rupert Everett. 8:50 The Iron Lady Interview Special 9:00 Die Hard 2 (18) (1990) Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis. 11:20 The French Connection (18) (1971) Oscar-winning thriller, starring Gene Hackman. 1:35 The Conversation (12) (1974) Thriller, starring Gene Hackman. 3:55 Close

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61

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd30th December 2011 Friday, December

Friday 30th

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 FILM: The Cat in the Hat (PG) (2003) Comedy fantasy, starring Mike Myers.

10:20 FILM: Sky High (PG) (2005) Fantasy comedy, starring Kurt Russell.

11:55 FILM: Paulie (U) (1998) Family adventure, starring Gena Rowlands.

1:20 BBC News; Weather 1:35 Regional News; Weather 1:45 Only Fools and Horses (R) 2:40 Only Fools and Horses (R) 3:30 FILM: National Treasure (PG) (2004) Action adventure, starring Nicolas Cage.

5:30 Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave (R) 6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:20 Spotlight; Weather 6:30 Celebrity Mastermind 7:00 The One Show: Best of 2011 Matt Baker and Alex Jones reflect on the most memorable moments from the One Show year, including Matt’s rickshaw ride for Children in Need and a mass studio streak.

8:00 EastEnders Ricky, Bianca and their children struggle to meet Janine’s deadline.

8:30 Have I Got News for You Highlights of recent series. Last in the series.

9:00 New Tricks Brian and the team investigate the death of a professor who died after falling off the roof of his college, and learn he was involved in a feud over teaching methods. (R) 10:00 BBC News 10:10 Regional News; Weather 10:20 The Graham Norton Show Highlights from recent series.

11:05 John Bishop’s Britain Christmas Special (R) 11:50 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws Presented by Jeff Leach.

11:55 FILM: Cold Creek Manor (15) (2003) Thriller, starring Dennis Quaid.

1:50 Weatherview 1:55 Sign Zone: Great Expectations (R) 2:55 Sign Zone: Fry’s Planet Word (R) 3:55 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 9:00 FILM: David Copperfield (U) (1935) Charles Dickens period drama, starring Freddie Bartholomew and Frank Lawton.

11:05 FILM: The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby (U) (1947) Charles Dickens adaptation, starring Derek Bond.

12:50 FILM: A Tale of Two Cities (PG) (1958) Dickens adaptation set during the French Revolution, with Dirk Bogarde.

2:45 Coast (R) 3:45 Flog It! 4:45 Escape to the Country (R) 5:45 Antiques Road Trip (R) 6:30 The Good Life (R) 7:00 As Time Goes By Hour-long special, which sees Lionel and Jean reminisce about their time together.

Geoffrey Palmer and Judi Dench star. (R) 8:00 The Many Faces of Dame Judi Dench Charting the Oscar-winning actress’s rise to fame, including a clip of an early TV appearance in Z Cars, and exploring how she achieved success on the small screen and in Hollywood.

9:00 Mrs Dickens’ Family Christmas Sue Perkins explores Charles Dickens’ marriage.

10:00 QI XL Stephen Fry presents as actor Brian Blessed and comedians Sean Lock and Ross Noble join regular Alan Davies to answer questions on the theme of ice. (R) 10:45 FILM: Transsiberian (15) (2008) Premiere. A couple on a train from China to Moscow befriend two travellers, but come to suspect they are hiding a deadly secret. Thriller, with Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer.

12:25 Never Mind the Buzzcocks (R) 12:55 Grumpy Guide to Driving (R) 1:25 FILM: The Curse of the Cat People (U) (1944) A girl struggles to form friendships with other children – but finds a loyal protector in the ghost of her father’s first wife. Fantasy sequel, starring Ann Carter.

2:35 BBC News 3:55 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:35 FILM: Clockwise (PG) (1986) Comedy, starring John Cleese.

9:25 The Lakes at Christmas (R) 9:55 All Star Family Fortunes (R) 10:55 Pollyanna (R) 12:55 ITV News 1:25 Channel News and Weather 1:30 Bugsy Malone: After They Were Famous (R) 2:30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (R) 4:30 Inspector Morse (R) 6:30 Channel News; Weather 6:35 Report Sport Review 2011 6:45 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Charity tells Jai that she lied to Cain to persuade him to drop the accusation, and visits Zak and Lisa, insisting she and Jai are innocent. Laurel considers Nicola’s suggestion.

7:30 Coronation Street Sian rushes back to No 4 in tears, intent on leaving the Street, but Sophie arrives home and asks for another chance. Peter has to hide in Carla’s bedroom when Anne pays a visit.

8:00 That Was 2011: The ITV News Review of the Year 8:30 You’ve Been Framed! Comedian Harry Hill narrates a festive selection of camcorder calamities and viewers’ mobile-phone footage, focusing on seasonal slip-ups. (R) 9:00 A Royal Year to Remember 10:00 ITV News at Ten 10:10 Channel News and Weather 10:15 FILM: The Holiday (12) (2006) Two single women from opposite sides of the Atlantic find love after they swap houses over Christmas. Romantic comedy, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black and Jude Law. 12:45 It’ll Be Alright on the Night (R) 1:45 Countrywise (R) 2:10 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) 3:15 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) ITV News Headlines 3:30 Kojak (R) 4:25 ITV Nightscreen

6:15 The Hoobs (R) 6:40 Wilde Stories (R) 7:10 Perfect Couples 7:35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:35 Frasier (R) 9:05 Frasier (R) 9:35 The Big Bang Theory 10:05 The Big Bang Theory 10:35 The Simpsons (R) 11:10 The Simpsons (R) 11:40 FILM: Clueless (12) (1995) Teen comedy, starring Alicia Silverstone.

1:40 FILM: CutThroat Island (PG) (1995) Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis.

4:00 Deal or No Deal: Deal Panto 5:00 Christmas Coach Trip 5:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions (R) 6:00 The Simpsons With the voice of rapper Ludacris. (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:25 4thought.tv 7:30 Come Dine with Me: Celebrity Christmas Special Former Doctor Who star Colin Baker hosts the final dinner party. Last in the series.

8:00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Miranda Actress Miranda Hart accompanies Bear Grylls on a two-day expedition in the Swiss Alps. (R) 9:00 Comedy Showcase: The Angelos Neil Epithemiou Show Entertainment show, written by and starring Dan Skinner.

9:30 Lee Evans: Access All Arenas Highlights of the comedian’s arena tours.

(R) 10:35 An Evening with Lee Evans 11:05 The World of Lee Evans (R) 11:40 The World of Lee Evans (R) 12:10 Random Acts 12:15 FILM: The Godfather: Part III (15) (1990) Crime drama sequel, starring Al Pacino.

3:15 Steve Jobs: iChanged the World (R) 4:10 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking (R) 5:05 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 ThunderCats 10:35 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 10:50 Meerkat Manor (R) 11:20 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 12:25 5 News Lunchtime 12:35 Ice Road Truckers (R) 1:30 FILM: Showdown at Abilene (U) (1956) Western, starring Jock Mahoney.

3:15 FILM: Alice in Wonderland (PG) (1999) Fantasy adventure, starring Tina Majorino.

5:45 FILM: Snow White (PG) (2001) A widower struggling to provide for his daughter is granted three wishes by a strange creature – but at a high price.

Fairy-tale fantasy, with Kristin Kreuk.

7:30 Fifth Gear Jonny Smith provides details of new cars at the Los Angeles Auto Show, and Tiff Needell tests two high-performance hatchbacks that are claimed to be economical. Last in the series; 5 News Update 8:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 James Richardson and Caroline Pearce present heat four of the finals from Wingate University, North Carolina, in which Lithuania’s Zydrunas Savickas is competing for his third consecutive World’s Strongest Man title, with Portsmouth’s Rob Frampton and America’s Mike Jenkins among those looking to finish in the top two of six to reach the final; 5 News Update 9:00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments of 2011 Countdown of the year’s best water-cooler stories, featuring Charlie Sheen’s spectacular and very public meltdown, Ryan Giggs’s marital infidelities, Lindsay Lohan appearing in court – again – Cheryl Cole winning a job on The X Factor USA, only to be dumped not long after, and Kim Kardashian’s short-lived marriage. But it has not all been bad news and salacious gossip.

12:00 SuperCasino 4:05 Motorsport Mundial 4:30 Fifth Gear (R) 4:55 County Secrets (R) 5:10 House Doctor (R) 5:35 House Doctor (R)

7:00 The Gruffalo 7:30 The Gruffalo’s Child Animated sequel, with the voice of Robbie Coltrane. 7:55 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (PG) (2005) Fantasy adventure, starring Tilda Swinton. 10:05 EastEnders 10:40 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:10 Family Guy 12:20 American Dad! 1:00 Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live 2:00 Little Britain 3:00 Him & Her 3:30 Ideal 4:30 Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live 5:30 Close

7:00 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood The former Royal Ballet star celebrates classic dance musicals. 8:30 BBC Proms 2011 John Wilson and His Orchestra are joined by soloists to celebrate the golden age of Hollywood film musicals. 10:30 Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe 11:30 Film: Lemmy: The Movie (15) (2010) Documentary charting the life of the Motorhead frontman. 1:25 Thin Lizzy: Bad Reputation 2:25 Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe 3:25 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood 4:55 Close

6:00 Drama Trails 6:10 On the Buses 6:45 Film: Columbo: Uneasy Lies the Crown (PG) (1990) 8:45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10:55 Film: Mutiny on the Buses (PG) (1972) 12:45 Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide 2:30 On the Buses 3:10 Film: George and Mildred: The Movie (PG) (1980) 5:00 Film: Arthur (15) (1981) 7:00 Housewife, 49 9:00 A Touch of Frost A student is attacked. 11:05 Film: Fiddler on the Roof (U) (1971) Musical, starring Topol. 2:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 2:45 Emmerdale

6:00 Film File 6:10 The Professionals 7:00 Minder 7:50 The Saint 8:50 The Fall Guy 9:45 Batman 10:50 The Professionals 11:50 Quantum Leap 12:50 Minder 1:50 The Saint 2:50 The Fall Guy 3:50 Batman 4:55 The Professionals 5:55 Quantum Leap 6:55 Imploders 8:00 River Monsters 9:00 Film: Children of Men (15) (2006) 11:10 Film: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (15) (1997) 1:00 Back on the Job: Shane Lynch 2:00 Back on the Job: Joe Swash 2:50 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:15 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 9:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Bite Size Brainiac 10:15 Film: Askari (PG) (2001) 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Road Wars 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin The actress meets a child with epilepsy. 10:00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 2:05 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 2:40 Luton Airport 3:30 The Zoo UK 4:20 Crash Test Dummies 5:10 Guilty!

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62

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd30th December 2011 Friday, December

2011

Friday 30th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 A League of Their Own (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 Raising Hope (R) 10:00 Futurama (R) 10:30 Futurama (R) 11:00 Modern Family (R) 11:25 Modern Family: Sofia Vergara Interview (R) 11:35 Modern Family (R) 12:00 The Middle (R) 12:30 The Middle (R) 1:00 Futurama (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Diversity Live: The Diversitoys Tour (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Glenn Martin, DDS (R) 4:00 A League of Their Own (R) 4:30 A League of Their Own (R) 5:00 The Simpsons (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Lisa is moved up a grade. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Homer hires a private detective. (R) 8:00 Futurama Zapp Brannigan joins the team. (R) 8:30 The Simpsons Guest starring Ricky Gervais and Russell Brand. (R) 9:00 Bill Bailey’s Little Cracker Bill Bailey recalls a Christmas Eve from hell.

(R) 9:15 Stephen Fry’s Little Cracker Stephen Fry stars in a tale about his former school. (R) 9:30 Trollied Julie conducts interviews for Leanne’s replacement. (R) 10:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 11:00 A League of Their Own (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:10 Cop Squad (R) 2:10 Night Cops (R) 3:05 Deadwood (R) 4:05 Modern Family: Sofia Vergara Interview (R) 4:15 Harry Enfield’s Excellent Adventure (R) 5:10 Final Chance to Save (R)

6:00 Coronation Street (R) 6:25 Emmerdale (R) 6:50 Emmerdale (R) 7:20 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 7:40 The Xtra Factor: Louis’ Best and Worst (R) 8:40 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 9:50 I’m a Celebrity: Jungle Royalty (R) 10:50 Coronation Street (R) 11:20 Emmerdale (R) 11:45 Emmerdale (R) 12:15 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (PG) (1998) Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

2:40 FILM: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (PG) (2000) Family comedy prequel, starring Mark Addy.

4:35 FILM: Twins (PG) (1988) Comedy adventure, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

6:45 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special With teams from The Only Way Is Essex and Benidorm. (R) 7:45 A Night with Beyoncé Steve Jones presents a one-off special in which the American superstar performs some of her biggest hits as well as tracks from her latest album 4. (R) 9:00 Benidorm One-off festive edition.

The usual suspects turn up in Spain for sun, sangria and Santa, with Su Pollard, Louie Spence and Brian Murphy guest starring. (R) 10:15 Tweets of the Year Rufus Hound narrates a review of 2011 as seen through posts on social-networking site Twitter, including interviews with users whose lives were changed by the utility.

11:45 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (12) (2007) The amnesiac assassin regains his memory, just as the CIA sets in motion a plan to kill him. Spy thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, and David Strathairn. Includes FYI Daily.

2:00 Perez Hilton Superfan: Enrique Iglesias (R) 2:50 Coronation Street (R) 3:15 Emmerdale (R) 3:40 The Black Donnellys (R) 4:30 Teleshopping

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:30 Wildfire (R) 8:20 One Tree Hill (R) 9:15 Smallville (R) 10:10 Made in Chelsea (R) 11:10 Made in Chelsea (R) 12:10 Greek (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:45 Scrubs (R) 2:20 Hollyoaks (R) 2:55 FILM: Barnyard (PG) (2006) Animated comedy, with the voice of Kevin James.

4:35 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:30 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Daytona Lights are given a chance to make a name for themselves in London, and Barney considers the future after he and the other students become stranded again.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Ted runs into Zoey at a black-tie fundraiser. (R) 8:00 Desperate Scousewives Chris and Mark are no closer to sorting out their problems, while Layla and Elissa hold a psychic evening and Danny loses his job. (R) 9:00 FILM: Cloverfield (15) (2008) Five New Yorkers film the carnage wreaked by a giant monster attacking the city as they try to reach a stranded friend. Thriller, with Michael Stahl-David.

10:35 FILM: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (15) (2006) Spoof documentary, with Sacha Baron Cohen.

12:15 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:50 Scrubs (R) 2:20 How I Met Your Mother (R) 2:40 Greek (R) 3:25 Rules of Engagement (R) 3:45 Wildfire (R) 4:30 Switched (R) 4:50 Switched (R) 5:10 Switched (R)

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 9:00 Big Love 10:15 Alex Crawford: A Year to Remember 11:15 In Treatment 1:15 The Sopranos 2:30 Game of Thrones 3:45 Big Love 5:00 Inside the Actors Studio With Without a Trace star Anthony LaPaglia.

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:25 Burn Notice 2:25 Film: Shallow Hal (12) (2001) Comedy, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jack Black. 4:40 Film: The Karate Kid Part II (PG) (1986) Martial arts sequel, starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Film: From Hell (18) (2001) Mystery thriller, starring Johnny Depp. 11:25 The Sexy Ads Show How video game characters get their own back. 12:00 Teleshopping Home shopping.

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:25 Film: The Santa Suit (PG) (2010) Premiere. Comedy, starring Kevin Sorbo. 2:15 Film: The Christmas Card (PG) (2006) Romantic drama, with John Newton and Alice Evans. 4:00 Human Target 6:00 Law & Order A prostitute’s body is discovered. 7:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A body is found in a crop circle. 8:00 CSI: Miami An old murder case is reopened. 9:00 NCIS 11:00 CSI: Miami 12:00 True Justice 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:55 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 2:00 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship quarter-finals. 5:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 5:30 Football League Weekend 6:30 Premier League Preview 7:00 Live Football Special Liverpool v Newcastle United (Kick-off 7.45pm). The Premier League clash at Anfield, where the Reds are aiming for their seventh successive home victory over the Magpies. 10:00 Take It Like a Fan 10:30 Premier League Preview 11:00 Football League Weekend 12:00 Football Special 1:30 Take It Like a Fan 2:00 Premier League Preview 2:30 Football League Weekend 3:30 Football Special 5:00 Take It Like a Fan 5:30 Premier League Preview

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 7:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 WWE: Raw 11:00 Live Tennis 3:00 The Rugby Club 4:00 Boxing Special 5:00 NFL: Total Access The high-profile world of the NFL. 6:00 Kings of the Snow 6:30 Golf 7:30 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship quarter-finals. 10:30 Road to London 11:00 Tight Lines 1:00 Powerboating 1:30 Road to London 2:00 Golf 3:00 Tight Lines 5:00 Golf

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 Boxing Special 8:00 Premiership Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Boxing Special 1:00 Kings of the Snow 1:30 SPL Round-Up 2:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 3:30 Test Cricket 4:30 Ashes Memories 5:00 WWE: Raw 7:00 Tight Lines Keith Arthur hosts the fishing show. 9:00 WWE: Late Night – Smackdown 11:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 12:00 NFL: Total Access 1:00 Darts 4:00 NFL: Total Access 5:00 Powerboating 5:30 Road to London

7:05 Dragons’ Den 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 Driving Wars 10:00 Red Dwarf 10:40 Have I Got News for You 11:20 QI 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 Red Dwarf Holly sends the crew into a parallel universe. 3:40 Have I Got News for You 4:20 QI With Jo Brand, Phil Kay and Rich Hall. 5:00 Top Gear 7:00 Driving Wars Farmers take on a team from Birmingham. 8:00 Top Gear Electric cars and an extraordinary rally team. 9:00 Mock the Week 2:05 Psychoville 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

The Graham Norton Show 10.20pm on BBC one A compilation of highlights from recent series of the entertainment show, which has featured the host in conversation with guests including Johnny Depp, Carey Mulligan, Ricky Gervais, Cliff Richard, Alan Sugar, James McAvoy and Joanna Lumley.

Mrs Dickens’ Family Christmas 9.00pm on BBC TWO Sue Perkins explores Charles Dickens’ marriage. Focusing on the woman behind the man, Sue reveals parallels between the female characters he created and in his changing affections for his other half, explores the realities of marriage and follows Catherine’s recipe for a Twelfth Night cake.

A Royal Year to Remember 9.00pm on itv 1 Alan Titchmarsh recalls the highlights of the UK monarchy’s 2011, including two very different royal weddings and the Queen’s historic visit to the Republic of Ireland.

11:00 Ice Cold in Alex (PG) (1958) 1:35 Deck the Halls (PG) (2006) 3:20 The Ladykillers (U) (1955) 5:05 Elf (PG) (2003) Fantasy comedy, with Will Ferrell.

7:00 Edward Scissorhands (PG) (1990) Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp. 9:00 An Officer and a Gentleman (15) (1982) Romantic drama, starring Richard Gere and Debra Winger. 11:20 French Connection II (18) (1975) Crime thriller sequel, starring Gene Hackman.

1:40 Control (15) (2007) Biopic of Ian Curtis, starring Sam Riley. 4:00 Close

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63

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Saturday, 31st December

Saturday 31st

2011

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 10:00 New Year’s Eve Saturday Kitchen 11:30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers (R) 12:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 12:15 Football Focus 1:00 Formula 1: 2011 Season Review A look back at the season.

2:00 FILM: The Pacifier (PG) (2005) Family comedy, starring Vin Diesel.

3:30 A Question of Sport (R) 4:00 Final Score 5:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 5:30 Comic Relief 2011: What a Cracker Comedy highlights and updates from the fundraising event. (R) 6:25 Winter Wipeout Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram present a winter-themed version of Total Wipeout, which sees the contestants tackling an all-new snow-covered course.

7:25 FILM: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (12) (2007) The swashbuckling rogues join forces with old foe Barbossa to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow from the land of the dead.

Fantasy adventure sequel, with Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush.

10:00 BBC News; Weather 10:20 Match of the Day Including highlights of Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur.

11:40 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws OJ Borg presents the all-important Lotto and Thunderball draws, along with the Lotto Plus 5 results.

11:50 New Year Live 2011 Jake Humphrey joins the people of London to welcome in the new year, as the chimes of Big Ben are followed by a fireworks display lighting up the sky over the River Thames.

12:15 Lee Mack Going Out Live National Lottery Update 1:15 Michael McIntyre’s Christmas Comedy Roadshow (R) 2:15 Weatherview 2:20 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:05 CBBC 10:05 FILM: Home on the Range (U) (2004) Disney animated comedy, with the voice of Roseanne Barr.

11:15 FILM: First Daughter (PG) (2004) Romantic comedy, starring Katie Holmes and Marc Blucas.

12:55 Escape to the Country Family homes on the border between Suffolk and Essex. (R) 1:35 FILM: Viva Knievel! (PG) (1977) Motorcycling adventure, starring Evel Knievel.

3:15 Springwatch Christmas Special Highlights from the past year of the series. (R) 4:45 FILM: The Guns of Navarone (PG) (1961) Allied soldiers are sent to sabotage German artillery emplacements. Second World War adventure based on Alistair MacLean’s novel, with Gregory Peck, David Niven and Anthony Quinn.

7:15 Flog It! James Lewis and David Barby offer advice in Stoke-on-Trent, while Paul Martin visits Little Moreton Hall, Cheshire, one of England’s finest Elizabethan timber-framed manor houses. (R) 8:00 Morecambe & Wise: The Show What Paul Merton Did Paul Merton hosts a festive celebration of the British comedy duo, featuring archive footage, tributes from their peers and comments from performers who still feel their influence. (R) 9:00 Eric & Ernie One-off drama about Morecambe and Wise’s early years, from their meeting on the children’s variety circuit to their first TV appearances.

Victoria Wood and Jim Moir star. (R) 10:30 Parkinson, Morecambe & Wise Michael Parkinson looks back at his 1972 chat show interview with much-loved comedy legends Morecambe and Wise.

(R) 11:15 Jools’ Annual Hootenanny 2011 With Cyndi Lauper, Jessie J, James Morrison and the Vaccines.

1:30 Glastonbury Best Bits 2011 (R) 3:35 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:55 FILM: Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (U) (2000) Animated adventure, with the voice of Jeff Bennett.

9:25 Monk 9:30 Horrid Henry (R) 9:45 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! (R) 10:45 Coronation Street 1:30 ITV News 1:45 FILM: Pride and Prejudice (U) (2005) Drama, starring Keira Knightley.

4:05 FILM: The Queen (12) (2006) Oscar-winning biographical drama, starring Helen Mirren.

6:05 Puffin’s Pla(i)ce 6:10 Channel News; Weather 6:15 ITV News 6:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Xmas Special (R) 7:00 Westlife: For the Last Time Christine Bleakley joins Kian, Mark, Nicky and Shane for a farewell special ahead of the band’s break-up next year, featuring greatest hits, archive footage and interviews. (R) 8:00 The Cube Two more contestants – 22-year-old Jamie from Edinburgh and Dean from Cardiff – try to complete tasks within the confines of the Cube in a bid to win £250,000. Last in the series.

9:00 Brand New It’ll Be Alright on the Night 2 A selection of TV bloopers featuring Ant & Dec, Harry Hill, Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, plus out-takes from Doc Martin, Emmerdale and Corrie. Griff Rhys Jones presents.

10:00 ITV News 10:15 The Nation’s Favourite Bee Gees Song The group’s most popular compositions, as voted for by the British public. (R) 11:45 ITV News and Countdown to 2012 12:05 That Was 2011: The ITV News Review of the Year 1:05 FILM: The Blues Brothers (15) (1980) Comedy, starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd; ITV News Headlines 3:20 In Plain Sight 4:50 ITV Nightscreen

6:00 The Treacle People (R) 6:10 The Hoobs (R) 6:35 The Hoobs (R) 7:00 GT Academy 7:30 Extreme Sailing Series 8:00 The Morning Line 8:55 T4: The Big Bang Theory 9:25 T4: The Big Bang Theory 9:50 T4: Shipwrecked: The Island 10:50 T4: Beyoncé Live at Roseland 11:55 FILM: Three Men and a Baby (PG) (1987) Comedy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

1:55 Channel 4 Racing Live coverage from Newbury and Warwick.

3:55 The Simpsons (R) 4:25 Come Dine with Me (R) 4:55 Come Dine with Me (R) 5:25 Come Dine with Me (R) 5:55 Come Dine with Me (R) 6:25 Come Dine with Me (R) 6:55 Channel 4 News 7:05 4thought.tv A Christian lesbian who spends Christmas with her partner, their two daughters and the children’s biological fathers, discusses what the festive season means to her.

7:10 FILM: Porridge (PG) (1979) Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are forced into aiding an escape attempt and then have to break back in. Comedy spin-off from the TV series, with Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale.

9:00 Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular With Jonathan Ross, David Walliams, Heston Blumenthal and JLS. 11:35 Rude Tube: Epic Christmas Alex Zane presents the 50 greatest festive internet videos, featuring silly outfits, bonkers behaviour and inappropriate gifts. (R) 12:40 The Simpsons Lisa becomes addicted to passive smoking.

1:10 FILM: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (PG) (1956) Sci-fi thriller, starring Kevin McCarthy.

2:30 Southland 3:15 St Elsewhere (R) 4:05 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking (R) 5:00 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Impossible?

11:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 12:00 Ice Road Truckers Lisa Kelly struggles to transport an oversized load.

(R) 12:55 Ben Hur Historical drama, starring Joseph Morgan. (R) 4:35 FILM: 21 (12) (2008) Premiere.

Drama, starring Kevin Spacey.

6:55 5 News Weekend 7:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 James Richardson and Caroline Pearce present heat five of the finals from Wingate University, North Carolina, where the line-up for the final was set to be decided. Britain’s Jack McIntosh was among those trying to finish in the top two and progress, along with 2008 runner-up Derek Poundstone and the man who finished fourth last year, Stefan Solvi Petursson.

8:00 TV’s 50 Greatest Magic Tricks TV illusionists have been sawing ladies in half, catching bullets between their teeth, reading minds and performing feats of escapology for decades. Channel 5 counts down the best, including the astonishing set-pieces of Penn and Teller, the mind-bending of Derren Brown and the street magic of David Blaine. It features spectacular illusions, such as making the Statue of Liberty disappear, intimate card tricks and the lighter side of the business, thanks to the inclusion of comedy great Tommy Cooper.

10:40 FILM: Up the Front (PG) (1972) A cowardly footman is hypnotised into enlisting during the First World War, and ends up being tattooed with secret German plans. Comedy, starring Frankie Howerd and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

12:25 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs (R) 12:50 SuperCasino 4:00 Great Artists (R) 4:25 Divine Designs (R) 4:50 County Secrets (R) 5:00 Hana’s Helpline (R) 5:10 The Milkshake! Show (R) 5:35 Thomas & Friends (R) 5:45 Roary the Racing Car (R)

7:00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D The most memorable film mishaps of the past year. 9:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 Counting down the most irritating people of 2011, with Pippa Middleton, Charlie Sheen, Wayne Rooney, Shane Warne and John Galliano all in the running. 12:00 Family Guy 1:30 American Dad! 3:00 How Not to Live Your Life Festive special in which Don declares his feelings for Sam. 4:00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D 5:00 Close

7:00 Birmingham Royal Ballet’s Cinderella 9:00 Motown at the BBC A compilation of studio performances by some of Motown’s greatest artists, marking the record label’s 50th anniversary. Featuring Diana Ross, the Jackson Five and Stevie Wonder. 10:00 Edinburgh Comedy Live 11:00 Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe 12:00 Legends: Roy Orbison – The “Big O” in Britain 1:00 Edinburgh Comedy Live 2:00 Birmingham Royal Ballet’s Cinderella 4:00 Close

6:00 The Darling Buds of May 7:05 Film: On the Buses (PG) (1971) 8:55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10:00 A Touch of Frost 12:00 Film: Carry On Cowboy (U) (1966) 1:55 Film: Carry On Up the Jungle (PG) (1970) 3:45 Film: Arthur 2: On the Rocks (PG) (1988) 6:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7:00 A Royal Year to Remember The highlights of the UK monarchy’s 2011, presented by Alan Titchmarsh. 8:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:15 PD James: A Mind to Murder 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 World Cup Hat-Trick Heroes 6:05 The Force 6:30 Quantum Leap 7:20 The Professionals 8:15 The Sweeney 9:15 The Fall Guy 10:15 Batman 11:15 Professionals 12:20 Sweeney 1:20 Film: The Battle of Midway (PG) (1976) 4:00 Film: Horizons West (PG) (1952) 5:45 Film: Lonely Are the Brave (PG) (1962) 8:00 Film: The Magnificent Seven Ride! (PG) (1972) 10:00 Film: Mad Max 2 (18) (1981) 12:00 Film: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (15) (1985) 2:05 Mark Watson Kicks Off 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Luton Airport 7:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9:00 UK Border Force 9:00 Cop Squad 12:00 Sin Cities 1:00 Boozed Up Brits Abroad 1:50 Extreme Bodies: Vanity Insanity 2:40 Kim’s Rude Awakening Kim Woodburn helps restore order to the life of a single mother whose two children treat her like a personal servant. 3:05 Guilty! 3:55 New Parent Nightmares Stressed-out parents raising problem children. 4:20 Body Language Secrets 5:10 Crash Test Dummies

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64

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Saturday, 31st December

2011

New Year’s Eve

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 A Different Breed (R) 7:00 Ballroom High (R) 8:00 A League of Their Own (R) 8:30 A League of Their Own (R) 9:00 WWE Superstars 10:00 Soccer AM 12:00 35mm (R) 12:30 The Simpsons (R) 1:00 The Simpsons (R) 1:30 Oops TV (R) 2:00 Futurama: The Wild Green Yonder (R) 3:50 Modern Family: Julie Bowen Interview (R) 4:00 Terra Nova (R) 5:00 Terra Nova (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 Making of David Attenborough’s Bachelor King Behind-the-scenes look at the documentary.

8:00 Futurama Bender throws a party in celebration of Planet Express’s 100th delivery. (R) 8:30 Futurama Fry falls for a robot. (R) 9:00 FILM: Dude, Where’s My Car? (15) (2000) Two hungover friends wake up and set about trying to remember what happened to them the night before.

Teen comedy, starring Seann William Scott, Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner.

10:40 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 11:40 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker Autobiographical comedy shorts. (R) 12:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 1:00 Diversity Live: The Diversitoys Tour (R) 1:55 Matthew Morrison Live at the Hammersmith Apollo (R) 2:45 All Star Don’t Forget the Lyrics (R) 3:40 All Star Don’t Forget the Lyrics (R) 4:30 David Baddiel’s Little Cracker (R) 4:45 Julian Barratt’s Little Cracker (R) 5:00 Chris O’Dowd’s Little Cracker (R) 5:15 Julia Davis’s Little Cracker (R) 5:30 Oops TV (R)

6:00 The Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 6:25 Emmerdale 10:00 Paddy’s 2011 Show and Telly (R) 11:00 All Star Family Fortunes (R) 12:00 FILM: Dennis (PG) (1993) Slapstick comedy, starring Walter Matthau.

1:45 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments Robbie Coltrane narrates a countdown of the movie franchise’s best scenes. (R) 3:45 FILM: Free Willy (PG) (1993) Family drama, starring Jason James Richter.

6:05 FILM: The Polar Express (U) (2004) A boy doubts the existence of Father Christmas, until a magical train arrives to take him to the North Pole.

Animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Leslie Zemeckis.

Including FYI Daily.

8:00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (12) (1997) A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true – prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.

10:00 Celebrity Juice: 2041 – A Juice Odyssey Highlights of the sixth series of the comedy quiz, with clips of guest including Pamela Anderson, Verne Troyer, Emma Bunton, Ant and Dec, Peter Andre and Stacey Solomon. (R) 11:00 Tweets of the Year Review of 2011 as seen through posts on Twitter. (R) 12:30 Peter Andre: My Life (R) 1:30 I’m a Celebrity: Best Trials Ever (R) 2:25 I’m a Celebrity: Jungle Gold (R) 3:20 I’m a Celebrity: Jungle Royalty (R) 4:10 Ghosthunting with The Only Way Is Essex (R) 5:20 Teleshopping 5:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 FILM: Annie (U) (1982) John Huston’s musical, with Aileen Quinn and Albert Finney.

8:30 Made in Chelsea (R) 9:35 Made in Chelsea (R) 10:35 Hollyoaks 1:15 FILM: Star Trek: Generations (PG) (1994) Sci-fi sequel, starring Patrick Stewart and William Shatner.

3:30 Sorority Girls (R) 4:35 Desperate Scousewives (R) 5:35 Scrubs (R) 6:05 Scrubs (R) 6:35 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon finds himself up against his arch-nemesis, Star Trek: The Next Generation actor Wil Wheaton, in a competition. (R) 7:30 Happy Endings Penny’s mother visits and the gang is inspired by her enthusiasm, but her daughter discovers she is hiding unhappy news. Guest starring Megan Mullally (Will & Grace). (R) 8:00 How I Met Your Mother Ted meets a girl he set his eyes on 10 years previously, while Barney learns he is part-Canadian. Guest starring Katie Holmes. (R) 8:30 The Big Bang Theory Stuart from the comic-book shop asks Amy out on a date, but a jealous Sheldon retaliates by asking her to be his girlfriend. Johnny Galecki and Simon Helberg star. (R) 9:00 FILM: Mean Girls (12) (2004) A teenager is befriended by her new school’s most popular girls – but her so-called chums turn on her over a romantic mishap. Comedy, starring Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams.

10:50 The Big Bang Theory The boys make fun of Penny’s boyfriend Zack. (R) 11:20 The Big Bang Theory Raj faces being sent back to India. (R) 11:45 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:15 My Name Is Earl (R) 12:40 Rules of Engagement 1:10 Rules of Engagement 1:40 Russell Brand: Scandalous (R) 2:35 Switched (R) 2:55 Switched (R) 3:20 Hollyoaks (R)

6:00 Inside the Actors Studio 10:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 3:00 ER 8:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party Psychological game show in which six strangers attend a dinner party hosted by a mysterious figure known only as the Broker. As the night progresses, they have to reveal secrets about themselves and make snap judgements of each other to remain at the table. 9:00 Mildred Pierce 1:10 Enlightened 1:45 Hung 2:20 The Devil’s Dinner Party 3:20 The X Files 4:10 This Is Jinsy 5:10 Inside the Actors Studio

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:30 Burn Notice 2:30 Film: The Karate Kid Part II (PG) (1986) Martial arts sequel, starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. 4:45 Film: The Karate Kid Part III (PG) (1989) Adventure sequel, starring Ralph Macchio. 7:00 The Mentalist 9:00 Alphas Rosen’s daughter provides secrets of a Red Flag meeting.

10:00 Film: The Wicker Man (12) (2006) Horror remake, starring Nicolas Cage.

12:00 Teleshopping Buying goods from home.

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Cinemania 12:15 Film: A Carol Christmas (PG) (2003) Festive comedy drama, starring Tori Spelling. 2:00 Film: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (15) (1990) Western sequel, starring Emilio Estevez. 4:00 NCIS 5:55 Inside Hollywood 6:00 Human Target 9:00 Film: Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (15) (2008) Sci-fi sequel, starring Casper Van Dien. 11:00 CSI: Miami A girl is murdered at an amusement park. 12:00 True Justice 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

6:00 Football Special 7:30 Football League Weekend 8:30 Premier League Preview 9:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 9:30 Take It Like a Fan 10:00 Soccer AM 12:00 Live Football League Leicester City v Portsmouth (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2:30 Soccer Saturday 5:00 Live Saturday Night Football Leyton Orient v Charlton Athletic (Kick-off 5.20pm). 7:30 Football’s Greatest Managers A profile of Alex Ferguson.

8:00 Boxing Special 9:00 Ringside 11:00 The Sky Sports Years 12:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 12:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 1:00 Ringside 3:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 3:30 Boxing Special 4:30 The Sky Sports Years 5:30 Football’s Greatest Managers

6:00 Wild Spirits 6:30 Powerboating 7:00 Trans World Sport 8:00 Darts 11:00 Live Tennis The 2011 Mubadala World Tennis Championship. 3:00 Titans of Cricket 4:30 Super League 6:30 US Open Official Film 2011 A review of the tournament staged in Bethesda, Maryland. 7:30 You’re on Sky Sports!

8:25 Football First 10:15 Football First 11:45 Football First 1:15 Football First 2:45 Football First 4:15 Football First 5:45 Sky Sports Classics

6:00 NFL: America’s Game 7:00 Max Power 8:00 Premier League Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 WWE: Smackdown 1:00 WWE: Bottom Line 2:00 Max Power 3:00 Snooker 4:00 WWE: Smackdown 6:00 WWE: Bottom Line 7:00 Speedway 9:00 Super League Eddie Hemmings and Mike Stephenson take a look back at the 2011 season.

11:00 WWE: Late Night – Superstars 12:00 WWE: NXT 1:00 WWE: Late Night – Smackdown 3:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 4:00 US Open Official Film 2011 5:00 European Seniors Tour Golf

7:10 Top Gear 9:00 Driving Wars 10:00 Red Dwarf 10:40 QI 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 Red Dwarf 3:40 QI 5:00 Top Gear 6:00 James May: My Sisters’ Top Toys The Top Gear presenter tries to understand the appeal of certain toys, and seeks to prove that they can be as effective a social barometer as any history book. 7:00 Driving Wars Colin Murray presents the competition where video gaming meets real-life motorsport. 8:00 QI XL 2:35 Speeders 3:00 Close

Match of the Day 10.20pm on BBC one Gary Lineker presents highlights of today’s Premier League clashes, including Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur at the Liberty Stadium and Manchester United v Blackburn Rovers at Old Trafford. With analysis by Mark Lawrenson and Alan Shearer.

Jools’ Annual Hootenanny 2011 11.15pm on BBC TWO Jools Holland hosts his 19th annual special. Cyndi Lauper performs a couple of her most famous songs, along with a track from recent album Memphis Blues, accompanied by legendary electric blues harmonica player Charlie Musselwhite and Jessie J sings the chart-topping Price Tag

Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular 9.00pm on Channel 4 The comic throws a New Year party, with guests Jonathan Ross, David Walliams, Micky Flanagan, Alesha Dixon, Bruno Tonioli and Heston Blumenthal.

11:00 One Million Years BC (PG) (1966) 1:00 Fred Claus (PG) (2007) 3:10 The Lavender Hill Mob (U) (1951) 4:50 The Three Musketeers (PG) (1993) Swashbuckling comedy adventure, with Kiefer Sutherland. 6:55 Footloose (15) (1984) Drama, starring Kevin Bacon.

9:00 Four Lions (15) (2010) Satirical comedy, starring Rizwan Ahmed. 11:00 Rushmore (15) (1999) Comedy drama, starring Jason Schwartzman. 12:45 Primal (18) (2010) 2:20 Flash Point (18) (2007) 4:00 Close

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65

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Sunday, 1st January

Sunday 1st

2012

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 8:40 Match of the Day (R) 10:00 Winter Wipeout (R) 11:00 FILM: Mouse Hunt (PG) (1997) Slapstick comedy, starring Lee Evans and Nathan Lane.

12:35 BBC News; Weather 12:45 The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message 12:50 Songs of Praise – New Year’s Day Big Sing 1:30 FILM: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (U) (2005) Oscar-winning animated adventure, with the voice of Peter Sallis.

2:50 FILM: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG) (2008) Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Ben Barnes.

5:05 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 5:30 FILM: Bolt (PG) (2008) Premiere. Animated adventure, with the voice of John Travolta.

7:00 EastEnders Extended episode.

Pat’s friends and family gather by her bedside as her condition deteriorates rapidly – but the person she wants to see most of all, her son David, is not there.

8:10 Sherlock New series. Holmes meets his match while investigating a case of blackmail.

9:40 Absolutely Fabulous Edina signs a French movie actress in a bid to win Saffy’s respect and bolster her client list – but the woman’s talents turn out to be rather questionable.

10:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 10:35 Adele Live at the Royal Albert Hall Coverage of Adele in concert in September 2011, one of the highlights of a phenomenal year for the singer, whose album 21 became the biggest-selling of the century.

11:35 FILM: Cold Mountain (15) (2003) An American Civil War deserter makes a long journey in search of the woman he loves, who is struggling to run her family farm. Period drama, starring Nicole Kidman and Jude Law. 2:00 Weatherview 2:05 BBC News

6:00 CBBC 9:55 FILM: Gun Fury (U) (1953) Western, starring Rock Hudson.

11:15 New Year’s Day Concert from Vienna 2012 12:40 FILM: Dean Spanley (U) (2008) Premiere. Comedy drama, starring Sam Neill.

2:15 FILM: Force 10 from Navarone (15) (1978) Second World War adventure sequel, starring Harrison Ford.

4:15 The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message (R) 4:20 FILM: The Eagle Has Landed (15) (1976) Second World War spy adventure, with Michael Caine and Donald Sutherland.

6:30 You Have Been Watching – David Croft (R) 7:30 Dad’s Army Captain Mainwaring puts the defence of the realm before personal pride, resulting in problems.

Classic comedy with the Home Guard, starring Arthur Lowe. (R) 8:00 Great Barrier Reef New series.

Monty Halls explores the Australian coral reef and the wildlife that inhabits it.

9:00 A History of Ancient Britain Special: Orkney’s Stone Age Temple Neil Oliver reports on a newly discovered 5,000-year-old temple on Orkney, which is helping to increase knowledge and understanding of the Neolithic people.

10:00 Match of the Day 2 Colin Murray reviews the day’s Premier League action, featuring Sunderland v Manchester City at the Stadium of Light and West Bromwich Albion v Everton at the Hawthorns.

11:00 QI XL Extended edition. Stephen Fry asks Ross Noble, Jack Dee, Phill Jupitus and regular panellist Alan Davies questions about a hodge-podge of topics beginning with the letter H. (R) 11:45 FILM: Broken Flowers (15) (2005) A womaniser learns he might have a teenage son, so he tracks down his old girlfriends to find out which of them is the mother. Comedy drama, starring Bill Murray and Jeffrey Wright.

1:25 BBC News 2:30 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 8:05 FILM: Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase (U) (2001) Animated adventure, with the voice of Bob Bergen.

9:25 FILM: Beethoven (U) (1991) Canine comedy, starring Charles Grodin.

11:00 FILM: Licence to Kill (15) (1989) James Bond spy thriller, starring Timothy Dalton.

1:30 ITV News 1:40 Inspector Morse (R) 3:45 Downton Abbey Violet has concerns about Rosamund’s new suitor (guest star Nigel Havers). (R) 5:45 ITV News 6:00 You’ve Been Framed: Top 100 Animals Harry Hill narrates the pick of the show’s archive of animal clips, including a sunbathing panda, a cat masseuse and a flatulent horse.

7:00 FILM: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (12) (2009) Premiere. The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of the dark lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and mundane worlds.

However, Voldemort’s influence extends closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe.

9:45 The Unforgettable John Thaw A tribute to the actor who achieved fame playing DI Jack Regan in the gritty 1970s police drama The Sweeney, but whose most memorable role was as the opera-loving Inspector Morse.

10:45 ITV News 11:00 FILM: Analyze This (15) (1999) A mobster plagued by such anxiety that it leaves him incapable of killing seeks the aid of a psychiatrist to regain his ruthless edge. Comedy, with Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal.

12:55 Premiership Rugby Union ITV News Headlines 1:50 FILM: The Whole Ten Yards (12) (2004) Comedy sequel, starring Matthew Perry.

3:25 ITV Nightscreen

5:50 Sali Mali (R) 5:55 The Hoobs (R) 6:20 The Hoobs (R) 6:45 FILM: The Land Before Time (U) (1988) Animated adventure, with the voice of Gabriel Damon.

8:00 FILM: Arctic Tale (U) (2007) Premiere. Documentary on Arctic wildlife.

9:45 FILM: The Bridge on the River Kwai (PG) (1957) Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Alec Guinness.

12:50 Channel 4 Racing Live coverage from Cheltenham and Musselburgh.

3:20 FILM: True Grit (PG) (1969) A one-eyed, over-the-hill US marshal reluctantly agrees to help a teenage girl track down her father’s killer.

Oscar-winning Western, with John Wayne.

5:45 Channel 4 News 5:55 4thought.tv 6:00 Deal or No Deal 7:00 Come Dine with Me Full-time mum Sheila hosts the first dinner party in Londonderry, Northern Ireland, hoping to impress call-centre worker Caroline, administrator Eunan and company director David.

8:00 The Hotel New series.

Documentary exploring life at the Grosvenor Hotel, Torquay. Manager Mark faces a trying time when wedding celebrations at the venue do not go to plan.

9:00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Jonathan Ross Survival expert Bear Grylls takes the chat show host to little-known Canary Island La Palma, where they trek through dense jungle and walk down an active volcano.

10:00 Hacks Phone-hacking satire, starring Claire Foy and Michael Kitchen.

11:05 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 Jimmy Carr tests a panel of celebrities on their knowledge of events in 2011, with question setters including Ian McKellen, Will Ferrell and Quentin Tarantino. (R) 1:10 American Football Live 4:45 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show (R) 5:10 Post Modern Pastimes (R) 5:25 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Meals in Moments (R) 10:15 Meerkat Manor (R) 10:45 The Top 10 Aussie Soap Moments 2011 11:45 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 12:45 FILM: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (U) (1954) Musical Western, starring Howard Keel.

2:50 FILM: The Wizard of Oz (PG) (1939) Musical fantasy, starring Judy Garland.

4:55 FILM: Return to Oz (PG) (1985) Fantasy adventure, starring Fairuza Balk.

6:55 5 News Weekend 7:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 James Richardson and Caroline Pearce present the final from Wingate University, North Carolina, featuring the 10 strongmen to progress from the five qualifiers.

8:00 An Audience with Dame Edna: 1980 Antipodean housewife superstar Dame Edna Everage takes centre stage in this comedy special, first broadcast in 1980, in which she demonstrates her razor-sharp wit while answering questions about her life and career. The celebrity audience includes Joanna Lumley, Ted Moult, Suzi Quatro, Jill Gascoine, John Conteh, Hazel O’Connor, Stanley Baxter and Rula Lenska. (R) 9:15 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments of 2011 Countdown of the year’s best water-cooler stories, featuring Charlie Sheen’s spectacular and very public meltdown, Ryan Giggs’s marital infidelities, Lindsay Lohan appearing in court – again – Cheryl Cole winning a job on The X Factor USA, only to be dumped not long after, and Kim Kardashian’s short-lived marriage. (R) 12:10 The Truth About Cheryl Cole (R) 1:10 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming.

4:00 Meals in Moments (R) 4:10 Nick’s Quest (R) 4:35 Divine Designs (R) 5:00 Hana’s Helpline (R) 5:10 The Milkshake! Show (R) 5:35 Thomas & Friends (R) 5:45 Roary the Racing Car (R)

7:00 Film: WALL.E (U) (2008) Pixar animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Burtt. 8:30 BURN.E Short Pixar animated adventure. 8:40 Pixar: 25 Magic Moments Documentary celebrating the film studio’s 25th birthday. 9:40 Film: Ratatouille (U) (2007) Pixar animated comedy, with the voice of Patton Oswalt. 11:20 EastEnders 12:30 Family Guy 1:55 American Dad! 3:25 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 3:55 Pixar: 25 Magic Moments 4:55 Him & Her 5:25 Close

7:00 New Year’s Day Concert from Vienna 2012 Highlights of the annual performance by the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Mariss Jansons, at the Musikverein in the Austrian capital. Presented by Petroc Trelawny.

9:00 Film: Half a Sixpence (U) (1967) 11:20 Come Bell Ringing with Charles Hazlewood 12:20 Still Ringing After All These Years: A Short History of Bells 1:20 The Rattigan Enigma by Benedict Cumberbatch 2:20 New Year’s Day Concert from Vienna 2012 4:20 Close

6:00 On the Buses 6:30 The Turn of the Screw 8:30 Heartbeat 10:35 Housewife, 49 12:35 The Darling Buds of May 1:40 On the Buses 2:15 Film: Up Pompeii (15) (1971) 3:50 Film: Carry On Camping (PG) (1969) 5:45 Film: Doc Hollywood (12) (1991) Comedy, starring Michael J Fox. 7:45 Lewis 9:45 Film: Sophie’s Choice (15) (1982) Emotional drama, starring Meryl Streep. 12:50 A Is for Acid 2:30 Carry On Laughing 2:55 Film File 3:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 3:40 Emmerdale

6:00 The Sweeney 6:50 Police Stop!

7:45 The Force 8:15 Imploders 9:15 Minder 3:20 Film: The Battle of Midway (PG) (1976) 6:00 Film: 633 Squadron (PG) (1964) 8:00 Premiership Rugby Union Action from the latest top-flight fixtures. 9:00 Film: Nighthawks (18) (1981) Action adventure, starring Sylvester Stallone. 11:00 Film: Coogan’s Bluff (15) (1968) Crime drama, with Clint Eastwood. 12:55 Real Prison Breaks 1:55 Minder 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 7:00 Luton Airport 8:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9:00 UK Border Force 1:00 Four Weddings 2:00 Lie to Me 3:00 Dog Squad 7:00 Customs UK 9:00 Cop Squad 12:00 Sin Cities 1:00 Boozed Up Brits Abroad Unleashed Part two of two.

Highlights from the series, revealing the best and worst of the behaviour of British tourists in Eastern Europe. 2:00 Extreme Bodies: Vanity Insanity 3:00 Guilty! 4:00 Body Language Secrets 5:00 Crash Test Dummies

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66

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Sunday, 1st January

2012

New Year’s Day

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Hour of Power 7:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 8:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 9:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 10:00 WWE Superstars (R) 11:00 WWE: Experience 12:00 Inside Gatwick Marcus Stanton tries to improve customer satisfaction.

(R) 1:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This Fly-on-the-wall series. (R) 1:30 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This Fly-on-the-wall series. (R) 2:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This Fly-on-the-wall series. (R) 2:30 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 3:30 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 4:00 Diversity Live: The Diversitoys Tour The dance group’s preparations for a sold-out show in London. (R) 5:00 The Simpsons 5:30 The Simpsons 6:00 Got to Dance: Auditions New series. Davina McCall returns to host the dancing competition.

7:00 Treasure Island Part one of two.

Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver prepare to set sail in search of an elusive hoard of gold. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Eddie Izzard and Elijah Wood.

9:00 Hawaii Five-0 New series. The team tries to exonerate McGarrett, who is in prison awaiting trial for the murder of the Governor. Starring Alex O’Loughlin.

10:00 NCIS: Los Angeles New series.

The agents search for Hetty in Romania and stake out the Comescu beach house, hoping to confirm she is alive. Real-time episode, starring Chris O’Donnell.

11:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Karl Pilkington prepares for his final journey, a 15-hour trek to the summit of Mount Fuji in Japan, and figures out what he really wants to do before he dies. (R) 12:00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R) 1:00 A League of Their Own (R) 1:55 A League of Their Own (R) 2:50 A League of Their Own (R) 3:45 A League of Their Own (R) 4:40 Road Wars (R) 5:10 Sell Me the Answer (R)

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 9:45 Coronation Street (R) 12:45 The Corrie Years Memorable storylines from 50 years of Coronation Street. (R) 1:15 Peter Andre: My Life (R) 2:15 You’ve Been Framed! Christmas Special Festive foul-ups. (R) 2:45 FILM: Richie Rich (PG) (1994) Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin.

4:45 FILM: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (PG) (2005) A penniless boy wins a once-in-a-lifetime tour of a magical sweet factory. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp.

7:00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special Teams from reality show The Only Way Is Essex and comedy series Benidorm take part in the game show, hoping to land a £30,000 prize for charity. Vernon Kay hosts. (R) 8:00 The Cube Celebrity Special Coronation Street special in which actors Ryan Thomas (Jason Grimshaw) and Julie Hesmondhalgh (Hayley Cropper) boldly take on the Cube in honour of their chosen charities. (R) 9:00 FILM: I Am Legend (15) (2007) A Manhattan-based military scientist finds himself immune to a virus that turns humans into ferocious vampire-like creatures. After the disease has swept through New York, and possibly spread farther afield, he devotes his solitary existence to finding a cure by unlocking the secret within his blood. Sci-fi thriller, starring Will Smith, Alice Braga and Charlie Tahan. Including FYI Daily.

11:00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (15) (1991) A cyborg is sent back in time to protect the future saviour of the human race and avert a nuclear war.

Sci-fi action adventure sequel, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton. Including FYI Daily.

1:45 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 2:35 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 3:25 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 4:15 Britain’s Got More Talent (R) 5:05 Teleshopping 5:35 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 Switched Up! (R) 6:50 Switched (R) 7:15 Supernanny USA (R) 8:10 Supernanny USA (R) 9:05 Wife Swap USA (R) 10:00 Gok’s Fashion Fix (R) 11:05 Supernanny USA (R) 12:00 Supernanny USA A father who has put pressure on his children to be tough. (R) 12:55 Gok’s Fashion Fix The stylist offers fashion advice to the residents of West Bromwich. (R) 1:55 Privileged Pilot episode of the drama, starring Joanna Garcia. (R) 2:50 Make It or Break It (R) 3:45 Being Erica Comedy drama, starring Erin Karpluk. (R) 4:40 Samantha Who? (R) 5:10 FILM: Black Knight (PG) (2001) Comedy adventure, starring Martin Lawrence.

7:00 FILM: Crocodile Dundee (15) (1986) An Australian hunter with a larger-than-life reputation accompanies a reporter from the Outback to the urban jungle of Manhattan. Comedy, starring Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski.

9:00 World’s Greatest Body Shockers – Part 1 Part one of two. Comedian Tom Allen explores some of the most radical body transformations ever seen, from tattoo-obsessed stars to fans of extreme body modification.

10:00 Tim Minchin: Ready for This?

The musical comic’s stand-up show at the Hammersmith Apollo in London, in which he explores topics including his love of breasts and rationalism. (R) 11:45 PhoneShop Comedy following the lives of salespeople at a high-street mobile-phone retailer. New recruit Christopher joins the team. Starring Tom Bennett and Martin Trenaman. (R) 12:20 PhoneShop (R) 12:55 PhoneShop (R) 1:25 PhoneShop (R) 1:55 PhoneShop (R) 2:20 PhoneShop (R) 2:45 Switched (R) 3:05 Switched (R) 3:25 Hollyoaks (R)

6:00 The X Files 8:00 ER 1:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 2:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party 3:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Inside the Actors Studio James Lipton interviews Martin Lawrence. 9:00 Mildred Pierce 12:15 Film: Road to Perdition (15) (2002) A Mob hitman and his son are forced to go on the run after his fellow gangsters wipe out the rest of their family. Drama, starring Tom Hanks. 2:30 Alex Crawford: A Year to Remember 3:30 This Is Jinsy 4:00 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Malcolm in the Middle 1:30 Burn Notice 2:35 Film: The Karate Kid Part III (PG) (1989) Adventure sequel, starring Ralph Macchio. 4:50 Film: The Next Karate Kid (PG) (1994) 7:00 The Mentalist 10:00 Film: One Missed Call (15) (2008) A town is shaken by a spate of killings where victims receive phone calls prior to their deaths, seemingly from their future selves.

Horror, with Shannyn Sossamon and Edward Burns. 11:50 5* Access 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:05 Film: Hard Times (15) (1975) A Depression-era bare-knuckle fighter enjoys a winning streak, unaware his manager is gambling away all the money they make. Drama, starring Charles Bronson and James Coburn.

2:00 Numb3rs 3:00 NCIS 5:55 Inside Hollywood 6:00 CSI: NY A vengeful killer wages a cyber war on healthcare workers. 7:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 CSI: NY 10:55 CSI: Miami 11:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1:00 Close

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Football First 8:00 Football First 9:30 The Sunday Supplement 10:30 Goals on Sunday 12:00 Live Super Sunday West Bromwich Albion v Everton (Kick-off 12.30pm). 2:30 Live Super Sunday Sunderland v Manchester City (Kick-off 3.00pm). This afternoon’s Premier League double bill concludes with this match at the Stadium of Light. 5:30 The Sky Sports Years 6:30 US Masters Official Film – Schwartzel 2011 7:30 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship.

The evening session of the 14th day’s play at Alexandra Palace in London features the semi-finals. 11:00 Football Special 12:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 1:00 Darts 4:30 Football Special

6:00 Wild Spirits 6:30 Road to London 7:00 Speedway 9:00 Ringside 11:00 Super League 1:00 Ringside 3:00 Live Premiership Rugby Union Leicester Tigers v Sale Sharks (Kick-off 3.30pm).

5:30 Live NFL Coverage of a week 17 match from North America. 9:15 Live NFL Coverage of a week 17 match from North America. 12:30 Speedway A look back at the 2011 season. 2:30 Wild Spirits 3:00 Road to London 3:30 Super League 5:30 Seamaster Sailing

6:00 Racemax 7:00 Sky Sports Years 8:00 Premier League Years 10:00 Snooker 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Wild Spirits 12:00 The Sky Sports Years 1:00 Speedway 3:00 Snooker 4:00 Powerboating 4:30 Road to London 5:00 WWE: Experience 6:00 Ringside 8:00 Premiership Rugby Union 9:30 Sky Sports Years 10:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 11:00 WWE: Late Night – Afterburn 12:00 This Week In WWE 12:30 WWE Vintage Collection 1:30 Premiership Rugby Union 3:00 Seamaster Sailing 3:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 4:00 Ringside

7:10 Carpool 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 Crash 10:00 Man v Food 11:00 Top Gear 12:00 Trawlermen 1:00 Crash 2:00 Man v Food 3:00 Driving Wars 4:00 Top Gear 6:00 Trawlermen A skipper collapses in the wheelhouse. 7:00 Man v Food 8:00 Driving Wars Three boy racers compete against police pursuit drivers as they remotely operate cars in destructive challenges. Presented by Colin Murray.

9:00 Mock the Week 2:05 Star Stories 2:30 Crash Addicts The national championships. 3:00 Close

Sherlock 8.10pm on BBC one New series. Holmes and Watson investigate a case of blackmail threatening to topple the monarchy and uncover links with international terrorism, rogue CIA agents and a conspiracy at the heart of government. With Benedict Cumberbatch.

Great Barrier Reef 8.00pm on BBC TWO An exploration of Australia’s underwater ecosystem. In the first of three programmes, Monty Halls examines the complex form of the coral reef itself and the wildlife that lives on it, from deadly fish-hunting snails and sharks that can walk on land to fighting corals and parrotfish, which cocoon themselves every night.

Hacks 10.00pm on Channel 4 Phone-hacking satire set at a fictional newspaper, whose editor is prepared to do whatever it takes to get the biggest stories first. Starring Claire Foy and Michael Kitchen.

11:00 A Town Called Panic (PG) (2009) 12:30 The Muppet Christmas Carol (U) (1992) 2:10 Journey to the Center of the Earth (PG) (2008) 4:00 Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (PG) (2009) 6:05 Transformers (12) (2007) 8:50 The Iron Lady Interview Special 9:00 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (15) (1986) Comedy, starring Matthew Broderick. 11:00 Scary Movie (18) (2000) 12:40 All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (18) (2006) 2:25 Idiocracy (15) (2006) 4:00 Close

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Monday, 2nd January

Monday 2nd

2012

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:00 Wanted Down Under 9:45 Homes Under the Hammer 10:45 Saints and Scroungers 11:30 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:00 Bargain Hunt 12:45 BBC News; Weather 1:00 Regional News; Weather 1:10 FILM: Race to Witch Mountain (PG) (2009) Premiere. Sci-fi adventure, starring Dwayne Johnson.

2:45 FILM: Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (PG) (1993) Comedy sequel, starring Whoopi Goldberg.

4:30 Final Score 5:10 BBC News; Weather 5:25 Spotlight; Weather 5:35 Celebrity Mastermind 6:05 FILM: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (12) (2008) Action adventure sequel, starring Harrison Ford.

8:00 EastEnders Carol tries to support her family.

8:30 EastEnders: Farewell Pat A look back at Pat Evans’ 25 years on Albert Square, remembering the character’s major plotlines and paying tribute to the actress who played her, Pam St Clement.

9:00 The Royal Bodyguard A prince’s routine shopping trip turns into a siege thanks to a misunderstanding by Hubble, forcing the hapless security chief to launch his own rescue mission.

9:30 Mrs Brown’s Boys The family awaits the fruits of its fraud.

10:00 BBC News 10:10 Regional News; Weather 10:20 Match of the Day Including highlights of Fulham v Arsenal.

11:30 FILM: Point Break (18) (1991) Thriller, with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze.

1:25 Weatherview 1:30 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? (R) 2:30 Sign Zone: Holby City (R) 3:30 Sign Zone: MasterChef: The Professionals (R) 4:00 Sign Zone: You’ve Been Scammed (R) 4:45 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 9:15 FILM: Two Brothers (U) (2004) Wildlife adventure, starring Guy Pearce.

10:55 FILM: Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (PG) (2004) Romantic comedy, starring Kate Bosworth and Topher Grace.

12:25 EastEnders 3:00 Real Rescues (R) 3:45 Flog It! 4:30 Perfection 5:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Great British Railway Journeys 7:00 Baking Made Easy Lorraine Pascale turns her attention to modern classics. (R) 7:30 A Question of Taste New series.

Gastronomy quiz, hosted by Kirsty Wark, in which two teams demonstrate their knowledge of cooking techniques, recipes, ingredients, food history and science.

8:00 University Challenge Students from Oxford’s Balliol College and Pembroke College, Cambridge, compete in a quarter-final contest. Presented by Jeremy Paxman.

8:30 An Island Parish New series. Fr Roddy receives shocking news, and Fr John Paul faces up to controversial issues threatening the future of his parish.

9:00 Armando’s Tale of Charles Dickens Armando Iannucci reveals how he believes a long line of screen adaptations have led Charles Dickens’ writing skills to be forgotten, so he sets out to dissect David Copperfield.

10:00 FILM: Revolutionary Road (15) (2008) Premiere. A couple live a picture-perfect life on the surface, but in truth feel stifled by their situation.

Drama, with Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio and Michael J Shannon.

11:50 FILM: Hideous Kinky (15) (1998) Seventies-set drama, starring Kate Winslet.

1:25 BBC News 4:20 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 CITV 7:55 FILM: Clifford’s Really Big Movie (U) (2005) Animated adventure, with the voice of John Ritter.

9:25 FILM: Beethoven’s 2nd (U) (1993) Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin.

11:00 You’ve Been Framed! (R) 11:30 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (PG) (1998) Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

1:45 ITV News 1:55 Channel News and Weather 2:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (R) 3:55 FILM: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (PG) (2001) Fantasy adventure, starring Daniel Radcliffe.

6:35 Puffin’s Pla(i)ce 6:40 Channel News; Weather 6:45 ITV News 7:00 Emmerdale The police arrive to question Charity, having received information that she lied in her statement, and Jai is furious when he discovers Nikhil was the one who reported her.

7:30 Coronation Street Carla decides to confront Frank about Anne’s attempt to bribe her.

8:00 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin New series. The actress travels through the county over the course of a summer.

8:30 Coronation Street Frank is stunned when Carla gatecrashes the party.

9:00 Endeavour One-off prequel to Inspector Morse set in 1965, starring Shaun Evans.

11:00 ITV News 11:14 Channel Weather 11:15 FILM: Die Another Day (12) (2002) James Bond spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan.

1:40 Countrywise (R) 2:05 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Action 2:55 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Action ITV News Headlines 3:35 ITV Nightscreen 4:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R)

6:10 The Treacle People (R) 6:20 The Hoobs (R) 7:10 Freshly Squeezed 7:35 According to Jim (R) 8:00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:05 Frasier (R) 10:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 10:40 The Big Bang Theory (R) 11:05 The Simpsons (R) 11:40 The Simpsons (R) 12:10 FILM: Baby’s Day Out (PG) (1994) 2:00 FILM: Von Ryan’s Express (PG) (1965) 4:15 Deal or No Deal 5:15 Channel 4 News 5:25 4thought.tv 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Hollyoaks 6:30 The Channel 4 Mash Up 6:35 The Million Pound Drop: The Channel 4 Mash Up 6:55 Come Dine with Me – Made in Chelsea: The Channel 4 Mash Up 7:30 Location, Location, Location: The Channel 4 Mash Up 7:55 The Million Pound Drop: The Channel 4 Mash Up 8:15 Come Dine with Me – Made in Chelsea: The Channel 4 Mash Up 8:45 River Cottage: The Channel 4 Mash Up 9:05 Countdown – 8 Out of 10 Cats: The Channel 4 Mash Up 9:35 The Million Pound Drop: The Channel 4 Mash Up 10:00 The Bank Job 11:05 Comedy Showcase: The Angelos Neil Epithemiou Show (R) 11:35 Random Acts (R) 11:40 Hacks (R) 12:45 Music on 4: Inputoutput 1:00 No, No, No (R) 1:05 Coming Up: Magic (R) 1:30 Jon Snow’s 2011 (R) 2:25 The Year the Earth Went Wild (R) 3:20 Ozone (R) 3:40 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking (R) 4:35 St Elsewhere (R) 5:25 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Inside Hollywood 10:05 Meerkat Manor (R) 10:40 World’s Strongest Man 2011 (R) 11:40 5 News Lunchtime 11:50 FILM: Custer of the West (U) (1967) Historical biopic, starring Robert Shaw.

2:35 Magic Beyond Words: The JK Rowling Story Drama charting the author’s life, starring Poppy Montgomery.

4:20 FILM: The Slipper and the Rose (U) (1976) Musical version of Cinderella, with Gemma Craven.

7:00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi helps British couple Liz and Michael Callis, who are struggling to cope with the workload at their 14-bedroom guest house in the Swiss Alps; (R) 5 News Update 8:00 The Greatest Ever Carry On Films A rundown of the most memorable moments from the classic comedy film series, including flying bikinis, suggestive laughs and infamous catchphrases; (R) 5 News at 9 9:00 FILM: Hitch (12) (2005) A professional relationship guru, who specialises in offering advice to lonely single men, helps an unlucky-in-love accountant to woo the girl of his dreams.

However, when he finds himself falling for a beautiful gossip columnist, his usual charm abandons him and he discovers his considerable expertise counts for nothing. Romantic comedy, with Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valletta, Julie Ann Emery, Adam Arkin and Michael Rapaport.

11:25 FILM: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (18) (1998) Julie James takes a holiday in the Bahamas – but as soon as she arrives, her arch-enemy returns to strike again. Horror sequel, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. 1:20 SuperCasino 4:05 Meals in Moments (R) 4:15 Grey’s Anatomy 5:00 County Secrets (R) 5:10 Wildlife SOS (R) 5:35 Wildlife SOS (R)

7:00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D 7:20 Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave Nick Park’s Oscar-winning animation.

7:55 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (PG) (2005) Fantasy adventure, starring Tilda Swinton. 10:00 EastEnders 10:35 EastEnders: Farewell Pat 11:05 Family Guy 11:50 American Dad! 12:35 Little Britain 1:05 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 1:35 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 2:35 Being Human 3:35 Most Annoying People of 2011 5:00 Close

7:00 Railway Walks 7:30 Indian Hill Railways 8:30 Only Connect: Champion of Champions The Crossworders take on the Epicureans in a special edition of the quiz. 9:00 Mad and Bad: 60 Years of Science on TV A journey through the history of science TV programmes. 10:30 Beautiful Equations 11:30 Indian Hill Railways 12:30 Only Connect: Champion of Champions 1:00 The Search for Life: The Drake Equation 2:00 Mad and Bad: 60 Years of Science on TV 3:30 Railway Walks 4:00 Close

6:00 Carry On Laughing 6:25 Northanger Abbey 8:25 The Railway Children 10:25 Film: George and Mildred: The Movie (PG) (1980) 12:15 Born and Bred 1:25 On the Buses 2:00 Film: Carry On Girls (PG) (1973) 3:45 Agatha Christie’s Marple 5:45 Born and Bred 6:55 Rosemary & Thyme 7:55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00 Film: Little Shop of Horrors (PG) (1986) 10:50 Film File 11:00 Inspector Morse 1:15 Jeeves and Wooster 2:05 Carry On Laughing 2:30 Teleshopping

6:00 The Force 6:25 Minder 12:05 Film: 633 Squadron (PG) (1964) 2:00 Film: Horizons West (PG) (1952) 3:45 Film: Lonely Are the Brave (PG) (1962) 6:00 Premiership Rugby Union 7:00 British Superbike Championship 2011 Review 9:00 Film: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (15) (1985) Adventure sequel, starring Mel Gibson. 11:10 Film: Escape from LA (15) (1996) 1:15 The Professionals 2:15 Police, Camera, Action! 2:40 Film File 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:15 Must Be the Music 9:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Medical Emergency 11:00 Wild Vets 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Four Weddings 2:00 It’s Me or the Dog 3:00 Medical Emergency 4:00 Trolley Dollies 5:00 UK Border Force 6:00 Road Wars 7:00 The Real A&E. 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Sun, Sea and A&E 10:00 Brit Cops 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 2:15 Must Be the Music 3:00 Luton Airport 4:00 Crash Test Dummies 5:00 Guilty!

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Monday, 2nd January

2012

Monday 2nd

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 The Glee Project (R) 8:00 Oops TV (R) 9:00 Raising Hope (R) 9:30 The Simpsons (R) 10:00 The Middle (R) 10:30 The Middle (R) 11:00 The Middle (R) 11:30 Futurama (R) 12:00 Futurama (R) 12:30 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 1:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 1:30 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 2:00 Chris & Wes: Let’s Do This (R) 2:30 The Simpsons (R) 3:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 4:00 Stargate SG-1 Daniel tries to find the Eye of Ra. (R) 5:00 Futurama (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Davina McCall hosts the dancing competition.

7:00 Treasure Island Part two of two.

Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver are forced to choose between the elusive treasure and their lives. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Eddie Izzard.

9:00 Obese: A Year to Save My Life New series. Nine dangerously overweight individuals try to lose more than half their body weight, beginning with 40-year-old Julie Ball, who weighs 25 stone.

10:00 An Idiot Abroad Karl Pilkington visits Peru, where he fails to impress a local tribe with his hunting skills and takes in the ancient Inca city Machu Picchu. (R) 11:00 Cop Squad Documentary following the work of Cambridgeshire police officers as they tackle crime in a county renowned for its university, tourism and picture-postcard appearance. (R) 12:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 1:00 Inside Gatwick (R) 1:50 Inside Gatwick (R) 2:40 Inside Gatwick (R) 3:30 Deadwood (R) 4:20 Minnie Driver’s Excellent Adventure (R) 5:10 Don’t Forget the Lyrics (R)

6:00 Coronation Street (R) 6:25 Emmerdale (R) 6:50 Life’s Funniest Moments (R) 7:15 Nanny 911 (R) 8:05 Judge Judy (R) 9:25 The Cube (R) 10:30 One Direction: A Year in the Making (R) 11:35 FILM: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (PG) (2000) Family comedy prequel, starring Mark Addy.

1:30 Coronation Street Sian rushes back to No 4 in tears, intent on leaving the Street. (R) 2:00 Emmerdale (R) 2:30 FILM: Innerspace (PG) (1987) Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid.

4:50 FILM: Dante’s Peak (12) (1997) Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan.

6:50 FILM: Twins (PG) (1988) Genetically designed twin brothers who were separated at birth set out on an adventure in search of their long-lost mother. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

9:00 Benidorm Holiday-makers arrive at the Solana resort, including Lancashire’s reigning pub quiz champion the Oracle. First-ever episode of the comedy series, with Johnny Vegas. (R) 9:30 Benidorm Martin and Kate set off for a trip into the town centre – but cannot find their way. Meanwhile, Gavin and Troy are left open-mouthed at the evening’s entertainment at Neptune’s. (R) 10:00 Celebrity Juice: 2041 – A Juice Odyssey Highlights of the sixth series of the comedy quiz, with clips of guest including Pamela Anderson, Verne Troyer, Emma Bunton, Ant and Dec, Peter Andre and Stacey Solomon. (R) 11:00 Tweets of the Year Rufus Hound narrates a review of 2011 as seen through posts on social-networking site Twitter, including interviews with users whose lives were changed by the utility. (R) 12:30 Coronation Street (R) 1:00 Coronation Street (R) 1:30 Emmerdale (R) 2:00 Life’s Funniest Moments (R) 2:25 Teleshopping 5:25 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:35 Wildfire (R) 8:30 One Tree Hill (R) 9:25 Gilmore Girls (R) 10:15 Smallville (R) 11:10 Desperate Housewives (R) 12:10 Greek (R) 1:05 Scrubs (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 2:00 Hollyoaks (R) 2:35 Gilmore Girls (R) 3:30 Desperate Housewives (R) 4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:35 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks The bailiffs turn up to seize Cindy’s assets, and she crosses the McQueens when she fails to pay Carmel for her work. Meanwhile, Ash offers to help Barney find work at Chez Chez.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Barney triumphantly announces he has found a tape of Space Teens – the Canadian children’s TV show Robin once appeared in. Guest starring Nicole Scherzinger. (R) 8:00 My Name Is Earl A guilty Earl arranges a band reunion show. (R) 8:30 My Name Is Earl Roseanne Barr guest stars. (R) 9:00 Rude Tube Alex Zane counts down 50 videos featuring people who have gained notoriety for their skills, including a worker in a chicken shop and a magnetic boy. (R) 10:00 Desperate Scousewives Chris springs a surprise on Mark.

11:10 PhoneShop (R) 11:40 PhoneShop (R) 12:10 PhoneShop (R) 12:45 PhoneShop (R) 1:15 PhoneShop (R) 1:45 PhoneShop (R) 2:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 2:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 2:50 How I Met Your Mother (R) 3:15 Scrubs (R) 3:40 Scrubs (R) 4:00 Greek (R) 4:45 Wildfire (R)

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 7:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10:00 The Sky Sports Years 11:00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12:00 Live Scottish Premier League Football Hibernian v Hearts (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2:30 Soccer Special 5:15 Live Monday Night Football Fulham v Arsenal (Kick-off 5.30pm). Coverage of this evening’s Premier League encounter at Craven Cottage, as the sides meet for the second time this season. 8:00 Live Darts The 2012 PDC World Championship final. Coverage of the tournament reaches a conclusion on day 15 at Alexandra Palace. 10:30 Ashes Memories 11:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 9:00 Angels in America 10:15 Weeds 10:50 Funny or Die Presents 11:25 Enlightened 12:00 Hung 12:35 Six Feet Under 1:45 Angels in America 3:00 Six Feet Under 4:10 Inside the Actors Studio 5:10 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Burn Notice 1:55 Film: The Next Karate Kid (PG) (1994) Wise mentor and karate expert Mr Miyagi helps another teenager and takes her to a Zen monastery to hone her martial arts skills. Adventure sequel, with Pat Morita and Hilary Swank. 4:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 9:00 TV’s 50 Greatest Magic Tricks A rundown of illusions that have stood the test of time on the small screen, featuring Penn and Teller, Derren Brown, David Blaine and Paul Daniels. 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:25 CSI: Miami 1:25 Film: Mrs Santa Claus (PG) (1996) Period musical, starring Angela Lansbury. 3:15 Law & Order 4:15 Film: A Grandpa for Christmas (PG) (2007) An elderly actor unexpectedly ends up caring for his grand-daughter over Christmas and helping her with a school pageant.

Family comedy, with Ernest Borgnine and Juliette Goglia. 6:00 Law & Order 7:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 NCIS 12:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1:00 Close

7:10 Dragons’ Den 8:00 The Gadget Show 8:30 Fifth Gear 9:00 Top Gear 10:00 Dragons’ Den 11:00 The Gadget Show 11:30 Fifth Gear 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Dragons’ Den 3:00 The Gadget Show 3:30 James May’s 20th Century 4:00 Top Gear 6:00 Dragons’ Den 7:00 Three Men in a Boat 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 QI XL 10:00 QI 10:40 Mock the Week 11:20 QI XL 12:20 QI 1:00 Mock the Week Quiz show, with Dara O Briain.

1:35 Psychoville 2:05 Crash Addicts 2:30 Star Stories 3:00 Close

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Bottom Line 8:00 Darts 11:30 Ringside 1:30 Darts 5:00 Extra Time 5:30 NFL 7:30 Extra Time 8:00 Scottish Premier League Football 9:30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits Highlights of Saturday’s show. 10:30 Football First 12:00 Football First 1:30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2:30 Scottish Premier League Football 4:00 Extra Time 4:30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5:30 Extra Time

6:00 The Sky Sports Years 7:00 Ringside 9:00 Seamaster Sailing 9:30 Premiership Rugby Union 11:00 NFL: America’s Game 12:00 NFL 2:00 Trilby Tour Golf 4:00 PGA Tour Classic 5:00 WWE: Raw 7:00 Trilby Tour Golf 9:00 NFL 11:00 WWE: Late Night – Bottom Line 12:00 WWE: Late Night – Afterburn 1:00 WWE: NXT 2:00 Live WWE: Late Night – Raw Wrestling coverage from the States with the over-the-top stars, featuring the likes of John Cena, CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio. 4:15 Sky Sports Classics 4:30 Show Jumping 5:30 Seamaster Sailing

EastEnders 8.00pm on BBC one the residents of Albert Square grieve for Pat, but the pain eventually proves too much to bear. Derek warns David he is not welcome at the Vic, while Mandy decides to leave Walford – certain that Ian will never be able to forgive her fling with Ricky.

Baking Made Easy 7.00pm on BBC TWO Lorraine Pascale turns her attention to modern classics, preparing macaroni and cheese, Swiss roll and focaccia, as well as sharing tips on food presentation. A trip to the supermarket she worked in as a teenager inspires a dish of glam macaroni and cheese, and she also makes spiced blackberry, pear and apple pavlova.

Endeavour 9.00pm on itv 1 One-off prequel to Inspector Morse set in 1965, starring Shaun Evans as a younger version of the cerebral detective involved in the hunt for a missing schoolgirl.

11:00 Hocus Pocus (PG) (1993) 12:50 Valiant (U) (2005) 2:20 Cocoon (PG) (1985) 4:35 Marley and Me (PG) (2008) 6:50 The Golden Compass (PG) (2007) Fantasy adventure, starring Dakota Blue Richards and Nicole Kidman. 9:00 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (12) (2009) Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf. 11:45 Scary Movie 2 (18) (2001) Spoof horror sequel, starring Anna Faris. 1:20 Young Frankenstein (PG) (1974) Horror spoof, starring Gene Wilder. 3:35 Close

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69

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Tuesday, 3rd January

Tuesday 3rd

2012

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 10:58 BBC News; Weather 11:00 Saints and Scroungers 11:45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:13 BBC News; Weather 12:15 Bargain Hunt 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News; Weather 1:45 Doctors 2:15 Escape to the Country 3:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:05 CBBC 5:15 Pointless 5:30 Spotlight; Weather 6:00 BBC News; Weather 7:00 Celebrity Mastermind With Michel Roux Jr, Jessica Hynes, Jon Sopel and Neil Hannon.

7:30 EastEnders Shirley urges Denise to stop her campaign against Phil; BBC News 8:00 Holby City Eddi clashes with Luc over the correct course of treatment for a New Year’s reveller, Sahira asks a patient to hypnotise Greg, and Ollie misses working in cardio-thoracic surgery.

9:00 Public Enemies New series.

Drama, starring Daniel Mays.

10:00 BBC News 10:25 Regional News; Weather; National Lottery Update 10:35 Lee Mack Going Out Live A recording of Lee Mack’s performance at London’s Hammersmith Apollo as part of his critically acclaimed national tour, featuring audience interaction and witty observations. (R) 11:35 The Graham Norton Show Highlights from recent series. (R) 12:20 Weatherview 12:25 Sign Zone: Frozen Planet (R) 1:25 Sign Zone: James May’s Man Lab (R) 2:25 Sign Zone: MasterChef: The Professionals (R) 3:25 Sign Zone: You’ve Been Scammed (R) 4:10 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:25 CBeebies 11:50 FILM: A Goofy Movie (U) (1995) Animated comedy, with the voice of Bill Farmer.

1:00 One Man and His Campervan (R) 1:30 To Buy or Not to Buy From Woking, Surrey. (R) 2:15 Weakest Link 3:00 Real Rescues (R) 3:45 Flog It! 4:30 Perfection 5:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo investigates Britain’s answer to Atlantis.

7:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British Si King and Dave Myers trace the evolution of menus at the nation’s pubs, and re-create favourite dishes. They also try their hands at making cider the traditional way. (R) 8:00 Nature’s Weirdest Events Chris Packham presents the first of two documentaries investigating unusual natural events, including a storm that turned Sydney crimson and moths that cocooned a car in Holland. Concludes tomorrow.

9:00 King George and Queen Mary: The Royals Who Rescued the Monarchy The first of two films profiling George V and Queen Mary, beginning with King George, a Victorian-age conservative who became an unlikely post First World War moderniser.

10:00 Have I Got Old News for You Another chance to see the satirical quiz, with team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton. (R) 10:30 Newsnight; Weather 11:20 Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe The writer and broadcaster takes a satirical look back at the events of the past 12 months, with contributions by Doug Stanhope, Adam Curtis and Brian “Limmy” Limond. (R) 12:20 BBC News 4:15 Close

5:55 ITV Morning News 6:00 Daybreak 8:30 Lorraine 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 This Morning 12:30 Loose Women 1:30 ITV News 1:55 Channel News and Weather 2:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R) 3:00 Lewis (R) 4:59 Channel Weather 5:00 The Chase 6:00 Channel Report; Weather 6:30 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Aaron struggles to hide his hostility toward Charity, still suspecting her of being involved in Cain’s attack. Ashley loses his cool in the church and throws a hymn book at Sandy.

7:30 River Monsters New series.

Jeremy Wade visits Papua New Guinea on the trail of a creature that has reportedly been tearing chunks out of fishermen and devouring body parts on the Sepik River.

8:00 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: New Year Special Famous faces play for their favourite charities.

9:00 The Biggest Loser New series.

Davina McCall presents as 14 overweight contestants arrive at a stately home to embark on a gruelling weight-loss challenge, and face their first task immediately.

10:00 ITV News at Ten 10:30 Channel News and Weather 10:35 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (15) (2005) A teenager with dreams of directing porn films is packed off to a summer band camp, where he causes even more mischief.

Comedy sequel, starring Eugene Levy and Tad Hilgenbrinck.

12:15 Countrywise (R) 12:40 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency (R) 1:30 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) ITV News Headlines 2:50 Crossing Jordan (R) 3:35 ITV Nightscreen

6:10 The Hoobs (R) 6:35 The Hoobs (R) 7:00 Freshly Squeezed 7:30 Perfect Couples 7:50 According to Jim (R) 8:20 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 8:50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:20 Frasier (R) 9:55 Frasier (R) 10:25 The Big Bang Theory (R) 10:55 Undercover Boss Australia 11:55 FILM: Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (U) (2005) Family drama, starring Kurt Russell.

1:55 FILM: Casablanca (U) (1942) Romantic drama, with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.

4:00 Deal or No Deal 5:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 4thought.tv Comedians discuss the seven deadly sins.

8:00 The Fat Fighters New series. The work of personal trainers at a distinctive London gym.

9:00 Accused: The 74 Stone Babysitter The trial of a morbidly obese woman who confessed to the murder of her nephew.

10:00 The Bank Job Live game show, hosted by George Lamb.

11:05 Felix and Murdo Armstrong and Miller comedy set during the London 1908 Olympics. (R) 11:40 The Armstrong & Miller Show – Best Bits (R) 12:15 Random Acts 12:20 FILM: Kung Fu Hustle (15) (2004) Martial arts comedy adventure, directed by and starring Stephen Chow.

2:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Body Building (R) 2:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2:30 Beach Volleyball 3:25 Extreme Sailing Series (R) 3:50 The Grid 4:15 GT Academy (R) 4:40 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking (R) 5:35 Scrapheap Challenge (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Meerkat Manor (R) 10:30 Monkey Life (R) 11:00 Ice Road Truckers (R) 12:00 5 News Lunchtime 12:10 FILM: Apache Drums (U) (1951) Western, starring Stephen McNally.

1:40 FILM: Avenging Angel (PG) (2007) Western, starring Kevin Sorbo.

3:20 FILM: Mystery Woman: Redemption (PG) (2006) Whodunit, starring Kellie Martin.

5:00 5 News at 5 5:30 Chinese Food in Minutes (R) 6:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks, Trailers and Tinsel (R) 6:55 5 News 7:00 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers The adventurer travels across Canada on his motorbike, beginning in Newfoundland. He braves the Atlantic to hunt for icebergs, before trying lobster-trawling and diving; (R) 5 News Update 8:00 New Cowboy Builders New series.

Melinda Messenger and Dominic Littlewood help a Wolverhampton man whose plans to provide his wife with her dream home were ruined by an errant contractor; 5 News at 9 9:00 Thirteen: Conspiracy An amnesiac becomes a scapegoat when the first female US president is assassinated, prompting him to uncover a far-reaching conspiracy. Thriller, starring Stephen Dorff. Includes 5 News at 10.55pm. (R) 11:35 Bourne Identity: The True Story Doug Liman, director of 2002 thriller The Bourne Identity, reveals the inspiration for the film and how meetings with a real assassin helped to create the title character. (R) 12:35 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs 1:05 SuperCasino 4:00 Meals in Moments (R) 4:10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 4:35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 5:00 County Secrets (R) 5:10 Wildlife SOS (R) 5:35 Wildlife SOS (R)

7:00 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG) (2008) Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Ben Barnes.

9:15 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra Extended edition of the comedian’s topical news show. 10:00 EastEnders 10:30 Family Guy 11:15 American Dad! 12:00 Little Britain 12:30 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 1:00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1:45 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 2:45 Being Human 3:40 Most Annoying People of 2011 5:10 Close

7:00 World News Today; Weather 7:30 Climbing Great Buildings Jonathan Foyle scales Durham Cathedral. 8:00 The Golden Age of Liners Paul Atterbury explores the history of ocean liners.

9:00 The Story of Musicals New series.

Britain’s influence on musical theatre.

10:00 100 Years of the Palladium 11:00 The Art of Tommy Cooper 11:30 The Many Faces of Les Dawson 12:30 The Story of Musicals 1:30 The Golden Age of Liners 2:30 Climbing Great Buildings 3:00 The Story of Musicals 4:00 Close

6:00 Carry On Laughing 6:25 Maigret 7:25 Rising Damp 8:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10:00 Ironside 11:05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:05 Heartbeat 2:05 Born and Bred 3:15 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 4:15 Countrywise 5:20 Rising Damp 5:50 Heartbeat 6:55 Born and Bred 8:00 Wycliffe A businessman is stabbed to death. 9:00 Rebus The detective is sent for retraining. 10:00 Blue Murder 11:35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:35 Carry On Laughing 2:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30 Teleshopping

6:00 The Professionals 6:50 The Saint 7:40 The Sweeney 8:40 Minder 9:40 Police, Camera, Action! 10:40 The Professionals 11:40 The Sweeney 12:40 Minder 1:45 The Saint 2:50 The Fall Guy 3:50 Batman 4:55 The Professionals 6:00 Quantum Leap 7:00 Police, Camera, Action! 8:00 Minder 9:00 Film: Escape from LA (15) (1996) 11:05 Film: Children of Men (15) (2006) 1:15 Minder 2:15 Police, Camera, Action! 2:40 Film File 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 8:15 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 9:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Medical Emergency 11:00 Wild Vets 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Four Weddings 2:00 It’s Me or the Dog 3:00 Medical Emergency 4:00 Trolley Dollies 5:00 UK Border Force 6:00 Road Wars 7:00 The Real A&E 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance 10:00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response 12:00 Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 2:15 Must Be the Music – Meet the Semi-Finalists 3:00 Luton Airport 4:00 Crash Test Dummies 5:00 Guilty!

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70

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Tuesday, 3rd January

2012

Tuesday 3rd

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 Oops TV (R) 8:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 9:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 10:00 Futurama: The Wild Green Yonder (R) 11:50 Modern Family: Sofia Vergara Interview (R) 12:00 UK Border Force (R) 1:00 Modern Family (R) 1:30 Futurama (R) 2:00 Futurama (R) 2:30 The Simpsons (R) 3:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 4:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 5:00 Futurama (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Uncut 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Davina McCall returns to present as dancers perform in front of a judging panel, including Adam Garcia, Kimberly Wyatt and Ashley Banjo. (R) 8:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Davina McCall presents as dancers perform in front of a judging panel, including West End star Adam Garcia, Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt and Diversity’s Ashley Banjo. (R) 9:00 FILM: Dude, Where’s My Car? (15) (2000) Two hungover friends wake up and set about trying to remember what happened to them the night before.

Teen comedy, with Seann William Scott, Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner.

10:40 35mm This week’s news from the film world. (R) 11:10 Ross Kemp Back on the Frontline The actor returns to Afghanistan to discover what has changed in the 10 years since the conflict began. In the first edition he learns about counter-insurgency. (R) 12:10 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:15 Road Wars (R) 1:45 Night Cops (R) 2:35 Deadwood (R) 3:30 99 Most Bizarre (R) 4:20 Neil Morrissey’s Excellent Adventure (R) 5:10 Don’t Forget the Lyrics (R)

6:00 Peter Andre: The Hot Desk (R) 6:10 Coronation Street (R) 6:35 Coronation Street (R) 7:00 Emmerdale (R) 7:30 Life’s Funniest Moments (R) 8:00 Judge Judy (R) 9:25 Nanny 911 (R) 10:30 Judge Judy (R) 12:00 Coronation Street (R) 12:30 Coronation Street (R) 1:00 Emmerdale (R) 1:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R) 2:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R) 3:40 Beauty and the Geek (R) 5:35 Loose Women (R) 6:35 Judge Judy (R) 7:00 Paddy’s 2011 Show and Telly Paddy McGuinness hosts as three pairs of celebrities answer questions about the year’s TV, with one team getting the chance to win up to £20,000 for the charity of their choice. (R) 8:00 Peter Andre: My Life The singer takes his children to Lapland to meet Santa and his elves. Back home and with his throat problems behind him, Peter prepares for a gig in Norfolk. Last in the series. (R) 9:00 Benidorm Madge struggles to understand the risk she is taking by sunbathing all day long, while Donald and Jacqueline try to hide their worries when Kelly announces her engagement to Mateo. (R) 9:30 Benidorm Madge gives the wrong impression to Donald and Jacqueline, resulting in an awkward bedroom encounter. Meanwhile, Troy gets drunk and flirts with Mateo. (R) 10:00 FILM: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (12) (2007) A fireman asks a male colleague to pretend to marry him to overcome a problem with his late wife’s life insurance policy.

Comedy, starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James. Including FYI Daily.

12:20 One Direction: A Year in the Making (R) 1:20 Emmerdale (R) 1:45 Planet’s Funniest Animals (R) 2:10 Teleshopping 5:10 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:50 Smallville (R) 7:35 Wildfire (R) 8:30 One Tree Hill (R) 9:25 Gilmore Girls (R) 10:20 Smallville (R) 11:15 Desperate Housewives (R) 12:10 Greek (R) 1:05 Scrubs (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 2:05 Hollyoaks (R) 2:40 Gilmore Girls (R) 3:35 Desperate Housewives (R) 4:35 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:05 Scrubs (R) 5:30 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Cheryl, Nancy, Lynsey and the McQueens are locked up after clashing with Cindy.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Ted is horrified when his friends bond with Zoey. (R) 8:00 Shipwrecked: The Island New leader Tristan’s ideas are not popular with everyone.

9:00 90210 New series. Naomi finds college much harder than she anticipated.

10:00 The Cleveland Show New series.

Cleveland’s effort to bond with his friends takes a dangerous turn.

10:30 The Cleveland Show A storm hits Stoolbend.

11:00 Allen Gregory New series.

Animated comedy, with the voice of Jonah Hill.

11:30 The Big Bang Theory Leonard, Raj and Howard go camping. (R) 12:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:25 How I Met Your Mother (R) 12:55 Scrubs (R) 1:20 Scrubs (R) 1:45 Pete Versus Life (R) 2:15 Pete Versus Life (R) 2:45 Greek (R) 3:25 Wildfire (R) 4:10 Switched (R) 4:30 Switched 4:50 Switched 5:15 Switched

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Blue Bloods 9:00 Battlestar Galactica 10:00 Enlightened 10:35 Hung 11:10 Funny or Die Presents 11:45 Angels in America 1:00 Film: Witness Protection (15) (1999) 2:55 Battlestar Galactica 3:55 Enlightened 4:30 Hung 5:05 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Dangerous Drivers’ School 2:00 Build a New Life in the Country 3:00 Cowboy Builders 4:00 Two Guys and a Girl 5:00 Malcolm in the Middle 6:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011: Qualifiers 8:00 Police Interceptors Two known offenders land in trouble again.

9:00 Most Shocking Talent Show Moments A countdown of memorable incidents and controversial contestants from reality shows, featuring clips of The X Factor, The Apprentice and Strictly Come Dancing. 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Cinemania 12:10 CSI: Miami 1:10 Film: Mrs Miracle 2: Miracle in Manhattan (PG) (2010) Family drama sequel, starring Doris Roberts. 3:00 Law & Order 4:00 Film: Crazy for Christmas (PG) (2005) Festive family drama, starring Andrea Roth and Howard Hesseman. 6:00 Law & Order A wealthy woman’s family comes under suspicion. 7:00 CSI: Miami 8:55 Inside Hollywood Magazine show. 9:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11:00 NCIS 12:00 Human Target 1:00 Close

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:30 Ashes Memories 8:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 4:00 Test Cricket 5:00 Football Asia 5:30 Football’s Greatest Managers 6:00 SPL Round-Up 6:30 Netbusters 7:00 Sky Sports News at Seven 7:30 Live Football Special Manchester City v Liverpool (Kick-off 8.00pm), Coverage of the Premier League encounter at the Etihad Stadium, as the teams meet for the second time in the league this season. 10:25 Football Special Action from three Premier League encounters. 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India. Coverage of the second day of the Second Test at the Sydney Cricket Ground, where the four-match series continues.

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Football First 10:30 Football First 12:00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1:00 Scottish Premier League Football 2:30 Football First 4:00 Football First 5:30 Extra Time 6:00 Darts 8:00 Test Cricket 9:00 Test Cricket 10:00 Copa Del Rey Football 12:00 Netbusters 12:30 SPL Round-Up 1:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 1:30 Football’s Greatest 2:00 Football Asia 2:30 Football Special 3:30 Netbusters 4:00 Copa Del Rey Football

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Afterburn 8:00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9:00 Darts 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Darts 2:00 Kings of the Snow 2:30 Extra Time 3:00 Show Jumping 4:00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5:00 WWE: Smackdown 7:00 Sports Unlimited 8:00 Squash The Lloyd PSA Masters. 9:00 Golf The China Golf Challenge. 9:30 PGA Tour Classic The 2003 Players Championship. 10:30 Time of Our Lives 11:30 Squash 12:30 Aerobics Oz Style 1:00 Time of Our Lives 2:00 Close

7:10 Speeders 8:00 The Gadget Show 8:30 Fifth Gear 9:00 Top Gear 10:00 Three Men in a Boat 11:00 The Gadget Show 11:30 Fifth Gear 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Driving Wars 3:00 Three Men in a Boat 4:00 Top Gear 6:00 Driving Wars 7:00 Man v Food 8:00 Top Gear With Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans. 9:00 QI XL With Dara O Briain, Chris Addison and Sean Lock. 10:00 QI 10:40 Mock the Week 11:20 That Mitchell and Webb Look 12:00 QI XL 1:00 QI 1:35 Mock the Week 2:05 Speeders 2:30 Star Stories

Public Enemies 9.00pm on BBC One New series. Eddie is released from prison after serving 10 years for murder and tries to settle back into his old community with help from probation officer Paula Radnor.

Tony Marchant’s drama, starring Daniel Mays and Anna Friel. Continues tomorrow.

Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: New Year Special 8.00pm on itv 1 The second of two festive specials which sees famous faces play for their favourite charities, live and against the clock, with half their total winnings going to one lucky viewer at home. All the questions are based on events that took place during 2011.

Accused: The 74 Stone Babysitter 9.00pm on Channel 4 An insight into a high-profile American murder trial which saw a 74st Texan woman confess to beating her twoyear-old nephew to death.

11:00 Batman (U) (1966) 1:05 Because of Winn-Dixie (U) (2005) 3:10 Charlotte’s Web (U) (2006) 5:00 Scrooged (PG) (1988) 6:55 St Trinian’s (12) (2007) 8:50 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Interview Special With David Fincher, Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. 9:00 Along Came a Spider (15) (2001) Detective thriller prequel, starring Morgan Freeman. 11:05 The Business (18) (2005) Comedy drama, starring Danny Dyer. 12:55 Bully (18) (2001) Drama, starring Brad Renfro. 3:15 Close

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71

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December Wednesday, 4th 2011 January

2012

Wednesday 4th

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 10:58 BBC News; Weather 11:00 Saints and Scroungers 11:45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:13 BBC News; Weather 12:15 Bargain Hunt 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News; Weather 1:45 Doctors 2:15 Escape to the Country 3:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:05 CBBC 5:15 Pointless 6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:30 Spotlight; Weather 7:00 Celebrity Mastermind With Miles Jupp, Rachel Riley, Wayne Hemingway and Gary O’Donoghue.

7:30 Fake Britain A raid on a house selling counterfeit fashion items; BBC News: Regional News 8:00 Countryfile A look back through the programme’s archives, focusing on the farming seasons; Weather for the Week Ahead 9:00 Public Enemies Convicted murderer Eddie claims he is innocent and probation officer Paula is the only one who can help. With her job on the line if she does, she has to decide whose skin to save. Concludes tomorrow.

10:00 BBC News 10:25 Regional News; Weather 10:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45 Match of the Day Including highlights of Newcastle United v Manchester United; National Lottery Update 11:45 FILM: Tombstone (15) (1993) Western, starring Kurt Russell.

1:45 Weatherview 1:50 Sign Zone: World’s Most Dangerous Roads (R) 2:50 Sign Zone: Bible’s Buried Secrets (R) 3:50 Sign Zone: MasterChef: The Professionals (R) 4:50 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:25 CBeebies 11:30 FILM: McCinsey’s Island (PG) (1998) Comedy adventure, starring Hulk Hogan.

1:00 One Man and His Campervan (R) 1:30 To Buy or Not to Buy (R) 2:15 Weakest Link (R) 3:00 Real Rescues (R) 3:45 Flog It! 4:30 Perfection 5:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Great British Railway Journeys 7:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British Si King and Dave Myers explore the history of the Vegetarian Society and discover how the movement became part of the mainstream, and also provide a few recipes along the way. (R) 8:00 Nature’s Weirdest Events Part two of two. Chris Packham investigates the disappearance down a hole of a lake in Florida and the cause behind thousands of birds falling from the sky in America’s south.

9:00 King George and Queen Mary: The Royals Who Rescued the Monarchy Part two of two. Queen Mary’s rise to the throne from a comparatively low position within the royal hierarchy, after being selected for the role by Queen Victoria.

10:00 Mock the Week – Again Dara O Briain hosts the topical quiz, with guests Chris Addison, Milton Jones and Andi Osho offering opinions on world events. (R) 10:30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, presented by Jeremy Paxman; Weather 11:20 Three Men Go to New England Rory McGrath, Griff Rhys Jones and Dara O Briain embark on another voyage, travelling from New England to New York to mark the Statue of Liberty’s 125th birthday. (R) 12:20 An Island Parish (R) 12:50 BBC News 4:10 Close

5:30 ITV Morning News 6:00 Daybreak 8:30 Lorraine 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 This Morning 12:30 Loose Women 1:30 ITV News 1:55 Channel News and Weather 2:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R) 3:00 Lewis A college master is found dead at the university’s astronomical observatory. (R) 4:59 Channel Weather 5:00 The Chase 6:00 Channel Report; Weather 6:30 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale Cain stops Aaron when he lunges at Jai, who leaves the pub. After going to see Declan, he confronts Cain, kicking one of his crutches away and standing on his injured leg.

7:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp A compilation of the funniest moments from previous series, promising soap spoofs, reality show send-ups, humorous fights and the odd song or two.

8:00 FILM: Mamma Mia! (PG) (2008) A bride asks three of her mother’s old flames to her wedding to learn which one is her father. Musical comedy featuring Abba songs, starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan.

10:10 ITV News 10:40 Channel News and Weather 10:45 FILM: Practical Magic (12) (1998) Two sisters descended from a long line of witches try to lift a curse that causes any man who falls in love with them to die. Fantasy, starring Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Dianne Wiest and Aidan Quinn.

12:35 Countrywise (R) 1:00 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery (R) 1:50 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery (R) ITV News Headlines 2:40 FILM: Balto 3: Wings of Change (U) (2004) Animated adventure, with the voice of Sean Astin.

4:00 ITV Nightscreen

6:30 The Hoobs (R) 6:55 The Hoobs (R) 7:20 Freshly Squeezed 7:50 Perfect Couples 8:15 According to Jim (R) 8:40 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:10 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:40 Frasier (R) 10:15 The Big Bang Theory (R) 10:40 Undercover Boss Australia 11:40 FILM: The Love Bug (U) (1968) Disney comedy, starring Dean Jones.

1:50 FILM: Tobruk (PG) (1967) Second World War adventure, starring George Peppard and Rock Hudson.

4:00 Deal or No Deal 5:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 4thought.tv Comedians discuss the seven deadly sins.

8:00 How to Cook Like Heston New series. Chef Heston Blumenthal tries to improve domestic cooking.

8:30 The Fabulous Baker Brothers New series. Cookery show presented by Tom and Henry Herbert.

9:00 One Born Every Minute New series. The lives of staff and patients on a maternity ward in Leeds.

10:00 The Bank Job Live game show, hosted by George Lamb.

11:05 Random Acts Short creative films.

11:10 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Jonathan Ross The chat show host travels to La Palma with Bear Grylls. (R) 12:15 Music on 4: Launched at Red Bull Studios 12:30 Music on 4: The Album Chart Show Introduces – Nicola Roberts 12:45 Night Walking (R) 12:50 Coming Up: Rough Skin (R) 1:15 Strange Little Girls (R) 1:30 FILM: Highwaymen (18) (2004) Premiere. Horror, starring Jim Caviezel.

2:50 The Guides (R) 3:05 Mummifying Alan: Egypt’s Last Secret (R) 4:35 Hugh’s Fish Fight (R) 5:30 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 10:20 Meerkat Manor (R) 10:50 Ice Road Truckers (R) 11:50 5 News Lunchtime 11:55 FILM: Six Black Horses (PG) (1962) Western, starring Audie Murphy.

1:35 The Witches of Oz Part one of two. Fantasy adventure, starring Paulie Rojas. (R) 3:15 FILM: A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story (PG) (2006) Fact-based drama, starring JD Pardo, Mercedes Ruehl and Lupe Ontiveros.

5:00 5 News at 5 5:30 Chinese Food in Minutes (R) 6:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R) 6:55 5 News 7:00 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers The adventurer continues his tour of Canada, meeting ex-National Hockey League player Reggie Leach in Ontario and travelling to Winnipeg via the longest street in the world; (R) 5 News Update 8:00 Jaws: The True Story Documentary examining a series of suspected shark attacks in New Jersey in 1916, sometimes said to have influenced Peter Benchley’s novel Jaws; (R) 5 News at 9 9:00 FILM: Beowulf (12) (2007) A warrior is summoned to rid a kingdom of a fearsome monster, but is tempted into making a terrible bargain. Animated fantasy, with the voices of Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins; 5 News Update 11:15 FILM: Hollow Man 2 (15) (2006) An assassin is made invisible but the process is slowly killing him, so he sets out to murder those responsible. Sci-fi thriller, starring Christian Slater and Peter Facinelli.

1:05 Poker: The Big Game 2:00 SuperCasino 3:55 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 4:10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 4:35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 5:00 County Secrets (R) 5:10 Wildlife SOS (R) 5:35 Wildlife SOS (R)

7:00 Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out The animated heroes’ first adventure.

7:30 Film: WALL.E (U) (2008) Pixar animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Burtt. 9:00 Live at the Apollo 10:00 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:05 Family Guy 11:50 American Dad! 12:35 Little Britain 1:05 Live at the Apollo 1:35 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 2:05 Live at the Apollo 2:35 Russell Howard’s Good News 3:05 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 4:05 Being Human 5:05 Close

7:00 World News Today; Weather 7:30 Climbing Great Buildings Jonathan Foyle and Lucy Creamer scale Lincoln Cathedral. 8:00 The Great British Outdoors A tribute to outdoor life. 9:00 Timeshift: The Smoking Years The history of tobacco smoking in Britain.

10:00 Twenty Twelve 10:30 Outnumbered 11:00 Edinburgh Comedy Live 12:00 Frank Skinner on George Formby 1:00 The Great British Outdoors 2:00 Twenty Twelve 2:30 Outnumbered 3:00 Timeshift: The Smoking Years

6:00 Film File 6:10 Heartbeat 7:05 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 8:05 Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 9:10 Rising Damp 9:45 Ironside 10:50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:00 Heartbeat 2:05 Born and Bred 3:15 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 4:15 Countrywise 5:15 Rising Damp 5:50 Heartbeat 6:50 Born and Bred 8:00 A Touch of Frost 10:10 Film: The Bridges of Madison County (12) (1995) 12:45 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 1:40 Carry On Laughing 2:05 ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30 Teleshopping

6:00 The Professionals 6:50 The Saint 7:40 Minder 8:40 The Fall Guy 9:40 Batman 10:40 The Professionals 11:50 Quantum Leap 12:50 Minder 1:50 The Saint 2:50 The Fall Guy 3:55 Batman 4:55 The Professionals 6:00 Quantum Leap 7:00 Minder 8:00 Border Security USA 9:00 River Monsters 10:00 Film: A Dangerous Man (18) (2010) Thriller, starring Steven Seagal. 11:55 Film: Uncommon Valor (15) (1983) Action adventure, starring Gene Hackman.

2:05 Minder 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music 9:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:00 Medical Emergency 11:00 Wild Vets 12:00 Lie to Me 1:00 Four Weddings 2:00 It’s Me or the Dog 3:00 Medical Emergency 4:00 Trolley Dollies 5:00 UK Border Force 6:00 Road Wars Police officers combat vehicle crime.

7:00 The Real A&E 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Lie to Me 10:00 Night Cops 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music 3:00 Luton Airport 4:00 Crash Test Dummies 5:00 Guilty!

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72

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December Wednesday, 4th 2011 January

2012

Wednesday 4th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 Oops TV (R) 8:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 9:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 10:00 House (R) 11:00 House (R) 12:00 UK Border Force (R) 1:00 The Chicago Code (R) 2:00 The Chicago Code (R) 3:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 4:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 5:00 Futurama (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Uncut 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge play for a curling team in the Winter Olympics. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Bart attends a rock concert. Featuring the voices of Spinal Tap. (R) 8:00 Emergency with Angela Griffin The actress spends her final week in the company of the West Midlands Ambulance Service, and reflects on the most memorable moments from the series. (R) 9:00 Brit Cops: War on Crime Documentary series following the work of police officers in Lincolnshire as they tackle crime. (R) 10:00 Road Wars Members of the Road Crime Unit chase a drug dealer on the M5, while dog handler Daryl and his German shepherd are on the trail of the drivers of a stolen car that crashed in Exeter. (R) 11:00 Ross Kemp Back on the Frontline The actor meets up with American soldiers for the first time, and learns how counter-terrorism methods perfected in Northern Ireland are being used to fight the Taliban. (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:10 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R) 1:40 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R) 2:10 Night Cops (R) 3:05 Deadwood (R) 4:00 Vinnie Jones’ Excellent Adventure (R) 4:50 Bite Size Brainiac (R) 5:10 Don’t Forget the Lyrics (R)

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 6:25 Nanny 911 (R) 7:15 Loose Women (R) 8:05 Judge Judy (R) 9:25 Beauty and the Geek (R) 11:30 Judge Judy (R) 12:00 Emmerdale (R) 12:30 Nanny 911 A mother whose four children ignore her discipline. (R) 1:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show Guests air their differences. (R) 2:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show Guests air their differences. (R) 3:40 Beauty and the Geek The contestants socialise in the backyard. (R) 4:40 Loose Women (R) 5:40 Judge Judy Triple bill of real-life cases. (R) 7:00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special Teams from reality show The Only Way Is Essex and comedy series Benidorm take part in the game show, hoping to land a £30,000 prize for charity. Vernon Kay hosts. (R) 8:00 Animals Do the Funniest Things Stephen Mulhern presents a selection of home video footage, including a crab with two right feet, a high-ranking goat and a cat that doubles as a cabbie. (R) 9:00 Benidorm Mick forces his family to enter a pub quiz with a big cash prize, but the Oracle turns nasty when the Garveys beat him to the jackpot. Kate tells Madge about Martin’s infertility. (R) 9:30 Benidorm The Garveys visit the beach, where Mick falls victim to a con, and Martin tells Kate he thinks her fling with Mateo has livened up their relationship. Last in the series. (R) 10:00 FILM: I Am Legend (15) (2007) A Manhattan-based scientist tries to find a cure for a viral plague that turns humans into vampire-like creatures.

Sci-fi thriller, with Will Smith and Alice Braga. Including FYI Daily.

12:00 FILM: Daylight (12) (1996) Disaster movie, starring Sylvester Stallone, Amy Brenneman, Viggo Mortensen and Claire Bloom.

2:00 Emmerdale (R) 2:25 Teleshopping 5:25 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:35 Wildfire (R) 8:30 One Tree Hill (R) 9:25 Gilmore Girls (R) 10:15 Smallville (R) 11:10 Desperate Housewives (R) 12:10 Greek (R) 1:10 Scrubs (R) 1:40 Scrubs (R) 2:05 Hollyoaks (R) 2:40 Gilmore Girls (R) 3:35 Desperate Housewives (R) 4:30 Rules of Engagement (R) 5:00 Scrubs (R) 5:30 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Cheryl announces her plans for the future.

7:35 How I Met Your Mother Ted’s attempt to bond with Zoey’s husband, the Captain, goes badly wrong when he finds himself lost at sea with him.

Marshall and Robin decide to hang out without their friends. (R) 8:00 Charlie’s Angels The kidnapping of an artist brings Bosley face-to-face with an old partner from his days as a cyber-criminal, forcing him to tell the Angels about his past.

9:00 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 Jimmy Carr tests a panel of celebrities on their knowledge of events in 2011, with question setters including Ian McKellen, Will Ferrell and Quentin Tarantino. (R) 11:10 Rhod Gilbert and the Award-Winning Mince Pie The comedian tells a story about a strange encounter. (R) 12:10 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:45 The Big Bang Theory (R) 1:05 How I Met Your Mother (R) 1:35 Scrubs (R) 1:55 Scrubs (R) 2:20 Rhod Gilbert and the Award-Winning Mince Pie (R) 3:15 Greek (R) 3:55 Wildfire (R) 4:40 Switched (R) 5:00 Switched (R) 5:20 Switched (R)

6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:30 Ashes Memories 8:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 4:00 Test Cricket 5:00 Trans World Sport Action and features. 6:00 A League Football 6:30 FIFA Futbol Mundial International football magazine. 7:00 Sky Sports News at Seven 7:30 Live Football Special Newcastle United v Manchester United (Kick-off 8.00pm).

Coverage of the Premier League clash at St James’ Park, where Newcastle seek a first home win over the Red Devils since 2001. 10:30 You’re on Sky Sports!

Football comment. 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India. Coverage of the third day of the Second Test at the Sydney Cricket Ground, where the four-match series continues.

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 The Devil’s Dinner Party 9:00 The Sopranos Uncle Junior takes a fall down a flight of stairs. 10:15 Alex Crawford: A Year to Remember 11:15 Big Love 12:30 The Devil’s Dinner Party 1:30 The Sopranos 2:45 Big Love 4:00 Inside the Actors Studio 5:00 The X Files

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Dangerous Drivers’ School 2:00 Build a New Life in the Country 3:00 Cowboy Builders 4:00 Two Guys and a Girl 5:00 Malcolm in the Middle 5:55 5* Access 6:00 The Mentalist 7:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 8:00 The Gadget Show Christmas Eve Special Reports on 4G communications and products due in 2012. 9:00 Eddie Stobart’s Christmas Delivery 10:00 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 11:00 Banged Up Abroad 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:30 CSI: Miami 1:30 Film: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (PG) (2002) 3:10 Law & Order 4:15 Film: Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus (PG) (2004) 6:00 Law & Order 6:55 Inside Hollywood Magazine show. 7:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 Human Target Chance tries to protect the engineer of Chicago’s first bullet train. 10:00 Film: Best of the Best (15) (1989) Martial arts drama, starring Eric Roberts. 12:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1:00 Close

7:10 Dragons’ Den 8:00 The Gadget Show 8:30 Fifth Gear 9:00 Top Gear 10:00 Man v Food 11:00 Gadget Show 11:30 Fifth Gear 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Dragons’ Den 3:00 Man v Food 4:00 Top Gear 6:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin 7:00 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 8:00 Top Gear 9:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 10:00 QI 10:40 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 11:20 Mock the Week 12:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 12:55 QI 1:30 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 2:00 Mock the Week 2:30 Star Stories

6:00 Morning Sports Fans 9:00 Football Special 10:00 Copa Del Rey Football 12:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 12:30 Football Asia 1:00 Football Special 2:00 Copa Del Rey Football 4:00 Football’s Greatest Managers 4:30 Football Asia 5:00 NFL 6:00 Inside the PGA Tour 6:30 European Tour 7:00 Trans World Sport 8:00 Test Cricket 10:00 Copa Del Rey Football 12:00 Football Special 1:30 Football’s Greatest 2:00 FIFA 2:30 A League Football 3:00 Copa Del Rey Football 5:00 Football’s Greatest

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE Vintage Collection 8:00 Ten Pin Bowling 9:00 Squash 10:00 Kings of the Snow 10:30 Golf 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Ten Pin Bowling 1:00 Sports Unlimited 2:00 Kings of the Snow 2:30 Golf 3:00 Ten Pin Bowling 4:00 Sports Unlimited 5:00 WWE: Bottom Line 6:00 WWE: Afterburn 7:00 Watersports World 8:00 Inside the PGA Tour 8:30 European Tour 9:00 Trans World Sport 10:00 Cage Fighter 10:30 Time of Our Lives 11:30 Cage Fighter 12:00 NFL: Total Access 1:00 Max Power 2:00 Extreme Carp 2:30 FIBA Basketball

Countryfile 8.00pm on BBC One Adam Henson explores the farming seasons through the programme’s archives, featuring sheep farming in Snowdonia, potato picking in Jersey and cow herding in the Outer Hebrides. Plus, Adam prepares his farm in the Cotswolds for the cold months.

The Chase 5.00pm on itv 1 Bradley Walsh presents as four contestants pit their wits against ruthless quiz genius the Chaser in the hope of winning a prize pot worth thousands of pounds. They must work as a team and play strategically to answer general knowledge questions against the clock and race down the game board to the exit without being caught.

One Born Every Minute 9.00pm on Channel 4 Fly-on-the-wall documentary observing the lives of staff and patients on a busy maternity ward in Leeds, beginning with a soldier who may miss the birth of his daughter.

11:00 Darby’s Rangers (PG) (1957) 1:30 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) (2009) 3:20 The Lavender Hill Mob (U) (1951) 5:00 Journey to the Center of the Earth (PG) (2008) 6:55 Turner & Hooch (PG) (1989) Family canine comedy, starring Tom Hanks. 9:00 Die Hard 2 (18) (1990) Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis. 11:20 A Life Less Ordinary (15) (1997) Fantasy comedy, starring Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz. 1:20 Renaissance (15) (2006) Drama, with the voice of Daniel Craig.

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73

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Thursday, 5th January

Thursday 5th

2012

TV GUIDE

6:00 Breakfast 9:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 10:58 BBC News; Weather 11:00 Saints and Scroungers 11:45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:13 BBC News; Weather 12:15 Bargain Hunt 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News; Weather 1:45 Doctors 2:15 Escape to the Country 3:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:05 CBBC 5:15 Pointless 6:00 BBC News; Weather 6:20 Spotlight; Weather 7:00 Celebrity Mastermind Neil Dudgeon, Stewart Francis, Andrew Collins and Sandie Shaw answer John Humphrys’ questions on Philip Larkin, Toronto Blue Jays, 1970s disaster movies and Nichiren Buddhism.

7:30 EastEnders Phil discovers the dangers of having Denise as an enemy when she corners him at the garage.

Alfie’s plan to persuade Kat their marriage is stable backfires; BBC News 8:00 Earthflight The landscape of Africa from the sky, featuring Cape gannets joining sharks, dolphins and whales as they feed off shoals of sardines. Narrated by David Tennant.

9:00 Public Enemies Paula has to decide whether to risk her job, her relationship and her reputation to help Eddie fight his wrongful conviction. Last in the series.

10:00 BBC News 10:25 Regional News; Weather 10:35 Absolutely Fabulous Edina tries to win Saffy’s respect. (R) 11:05 FILM: Under the Tuscan Sun (12) (2003) Drama, with Diane Lane.

12:50 Skiing Weatherview 12:55 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R) 1:55 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R) 2:55 Sign Zone: Britain’s Hidden Heritage (R) 3:55 BBC News

6:00 CBeebies 7:00 CBBC 8:25 CBeebies 11:30 FILM: Darby O’Gill and the Little People (U) (1959) Disney fantasy, starring Sean Connery.

1:00 One Man and His Campervan (R) 1:30 To Buy or Not to Buy Simon O’Brien and Jonnie Irwin search for a property in Oxfordshire. (R) 2:15 Weakest Link 3:00 Real Rescues (R) 3:45 Flog It! 4:30 Perfection 5:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Great British Railway Journeys 7:00 Great British Food Revival Chefs and cooks, including James Martin, Michel Roux Jr, and the Hairy Bikers, help to bring traditional produce back to the nation’s kitchens. (R) 7:30 Top Gear In this year’s Top Gear special, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May set out to boost the British economy by embarking on a trade mission to India. (R) 9:00 Meet Britain’s Chinese Tiger Mums: A Wonderland Film Three British-based Chinese mothers show how they are educating their children, providing an insight into the measures they take to ensure the youngsters’ academic excellence.

10:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Juliette Lewis hosts the comedy music quiz, as captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by Nick Grimshaw, Vic Reeves, Kimberly Wyatt and Theo Hutchcraft. (R) 10:30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, presented by Emily Maitlis; Weather 11:20 Three Men Go to New England Rory McGrath, Griff Rhys Jones and Dara O Briain try their hands at sports fishing on their way to Cape Cod, and begin to doubt they will persuade any boats to join the flotilla. (R) 12:20 BBC News 4:10 Close

5:30 ITV Morning News 6:00 Daybreak 8:30 Lorraine 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 This Morning 12:30 Loose Women 1:30 ITV News 1:55 Channel News and Weather 2:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R) 3:00 Lewis (R) 4:59 Channel Weather 5:00 The Chase 6:00 Channel Report; Weather 6:30 ITV News 6:59 Destination Report 7:00 Emmerdale The identity of Cain’s attacker is revealed, with dramatic repercussions. A furious Aaron heads to Jai’s, and accidentally strikes Lisa when she tries to pull him away.

7:30 Dying to Be Thin: Tonight Fiona Foster meets teenage girls being treated for severe eating disorders and reports on a Tonight survey revealing children as young as seven worry about their weight.

8:00 Emmerdale Cain comes face to face with his attacker, while Hazel is taken aback by Aaron’s fury and tries to talk to him. Lisa frets when she discovers Belle has been spending time with Sean.

8:30 Coronation Street Frank invites Sally to take over Anne’s business role for a few weeks. Eileen makes her feelings clear to Paul, and Tyrone tells Kirsty he needs to start seeing Fiz more often.

9:00 Eternal Law New series. Fantasy drama, starring Samuel West and Ukweli Roach.

10:00 ITV News at Ten 10:30 Channel News and Weather 10:35 FILM: Tightrope (18) (1984) Thriller, starring Clint Eastwood, Genevieve Bujold and Dan Hedaya.

12:40 Countrywise (R) 1:05 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) 1:55 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime (R) ITV News Headlines 2:45 Dying to Be Thin: Tonight (R) 3:10 ITV Nightscreen 4:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R)

6:15 Sali Mali (R) 6:20 The Treacle People (R) 6:30 The Hoobs (R) 6:55 The Hoobs (R) 7:20 Freshly Squeezed 7:45 Perfect Couples 8:10 According to Jim (R) 8:40 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9:35 Frasier (R) 10:05 The Big Bang Theory (R) 10:35 Undercover Boss Australia 11:40 FILM: A Challenge for Robin Hood (PG) (1967) Action adventure, starring Barrie Ingham.

1:35 FILM: The Cruel Sea (U) (1953) Second World War nautical adventure, starring Jack Hawkins.

4:00 Deal or No Deal 5:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R) 6:00 The Simpsons (R) 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 4thought.tv Comedians talk about the seven deadly sins.

8:00 Location, Location, Location New series. Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer help buyers looking for properties in south-east London, but face difficulties with their specific requirements and lack of time.

9:00 The Restoration Man New series.

Transforming a listed windmill in Kent.

10:00 The Bank Job Live game show, presented by George Lamb.

11:05 Random Acts 11:10 Accused: The 74 Stone Babysitter The trial of a morbidly obese woman who confessed to the murder of her nephew. (R) 12:15 Music on 4: Launched at Red Bull Studios 12:30 Music on 4: Alex Zane Pops Out (R) 1:00 FILM: A Man Apart (18) (2003) Crime thriller, starring Vin Diesel.

2:50 Whatever Turns You On (R) 2:55 Shooting Gallery (R) 3:05 Soft (R) 3:20 Attack of the Trip Advisors (R) 4:15 Hugh’s Fish Fight (R) 5:10 Brothers & Sisters (R)

6:00 Milkshake!

10:00 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 10:15 Meerkat Manor (R) 10:45 Ice Road Truckers (R) 11:45 5 News Lunchtime 11:55 FILM: Showdown at Abilene (U) (1956) Western, starring Jock Mahoney.

1:35 The Witches of Oz Part two of two. Fantasy adventure, starring Paulie Rojas. (R) 3:15 FILM: Devil Winds (PG) (2003) Adventure, starring Joe Lando, Nicole Eggert and Peter Graham-Gaudreau.

5:00 5 News at 5 5:30 Chinese Food in Minutes (R) 6:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers Edward Stobart Jr gets behind the wheel of a truck for the first time. (R) 6:55 5 News Update 7:00 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers Charley visits a ranch in Alberta and tries his hand at being a cowboy. He then sets out to scale a 2,700m mountain and heads to the Arctic to spend time with an Inuit community; (R) 5 News Update 8:00 Building the Ice Hotel The work of builders constructing Icehotel, a sophisticated structure built every year since 1990 in the village of Jukkasjarvi – more than 120 miles inside the Arctic Circle; 5 News at 9 9:00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Launch New series. Brian Dowling invites a fresh group of famous faces to move in together, and have their every word and move recorded for the enjoyment of the viewing public.

11:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side New series. Emma Willis presents the live spin-off show, inviting the audience and celebrity guests to comment on the new housemates, and speculate how they will get on together.

12:00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming.

3:55 Animal Rescue Squad (R) 4:10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 4:35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R) 5:00 County Secrets (R) 5:10 Wildlife SOS (R) 5:35 Wildlife SOS (R)

7:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 8:00 Film: Ratatouille (U) (2007) Comedy, with the voice of Patton Oswalt.

9:40 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D The most memorable film mishaps of the past year. 10:00 EastEnders 10:30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00 Family Guy 11:45 American Dad! 12:30 Little Britain 1:00 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 1:30 Russell Howard’s Good News 2:00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 3:00 Being Human 4:00 Most Annoying People of 2011 5:00 Mongrels

7:00 World News Today; Weather 7:30 Climbing Great Buildings 8:00 The Search for Life: The Drake Equation 9:00 The Grammar School: A Secret History 10:00 A Renaissance Education: The Schooling of Thomas More’s Daughter 11:00 The Story of Musicals 12:00 Too Much, Too Young: Children of the Middle Ages 1:00 The Search for Life: The Drake Equation 2:00 A Renaissance Education: The Schooling of Thomas More’s Daughter 3:00 The Grammar School: A Secret History

6:00 Drama Trails 6:10 Heartbeat 7:05 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 8:05 The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes 9:10 Rising Damp 9:40 Ironside 10:45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12:50 Heartbeat 1:50 Born and Bred 3:00 Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman 4:00 Countrywise 5:00 Rising Damp 5:35 Heartbeat 6:35 Born and Bred 7:45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00 An Audience With Diana Ross 10:00 A Touch of Frost 12:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:55 Nightscreen 2:30 Teleshopping

6:00 The Professionals 6:50 The Saint 7:45 Minder 8:50 The Fall Guy 9:50 Batman 10:50 The Professionals 11:50 Quantum Leap 12:50 The Saint 1:50 Minder 2:55 The Fall Guy 3:55 Batman 5:00 The Professionals 6:00 Quantum Leap 7:00 The Sweeney 8:00 Send in the Dogs 9:00 Film: The Keeper (15) (2009) Action thriller, starring Steven Seagal. 11:00 Film: On Deadly Ground (15) (1994) 1:00 The Professionals 2:00 Real Prison Breaks 2:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00 Teleshopping

6:00 It’s Me or the Dog 7:00 Must Be the Music: Winner’s Story 8:00 Pineapple Dance Studios 10:30 Medical Emergency 11:00 Wild Vets 12:00 Real Filth Fighters 1:00 Four Weddings 2:00 It’s Me or the Dog 3:00 Medical Emergency 4:00 Trolley Dollies 5:00 UK Border Force 6:00 Road Wars 7:00 Real A&E 8:00 Nothing to Declare 9:00 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK 10:00 Night Cops 12:00 The Real A&E 1:00 Must Be the Music: Winner’s Story 2:00 Real Filth Fighters 3:00 Airline 4:00 Crash Test Dummies 5:00 Guilty!

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74

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Thursday, 5th January

2012

Thursday 5th

TV GUIDE

Pick of the Day 6:00 Live Test Cricket Australia v India.

7:30 Ashes Memories 8:00 Live Test Cricket South Africa v Sri Lanka. 4:00 Test Cricket 5:00 A League Football 5:30 Premier League World 6:00 Premier League Review 7:00 Time of Our Lives 8:00 Time of Our Lives Nigel Mansell, Damon Hill and Murray Walker look back at some of the British success stories in Formula One from the 1990s.

9:00 Time of Our Lives Golfers Sam Torrance and Ken Brown look back at their Ryder Cup successes in 1985 and 1987. 10:00 Time of Our Lives 11:00 Premier League World 11:25 Live Test Cricket Australia v India. Coverage of the fourth day of the Second Test at the Sydney Cricket Ground, where the four-match series continues.

6:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R) 7:00 Oops TV (R) 8:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 9:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 10:00 House (R) 11:00 House (R) 12:00 UK Border Force (R) 1:00 The Chicago Code (R) 2:00 The Chicago Code (R) 3:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 4:00 Stargate SG-1 (R) 5:00 Futurama (R) 5:30 The Simpsons (R) 6:00 Got to Dance: Auditions Uncut 6:30 The Simpsons (R) 7:00 The Simpsons Lisa becomes emotionally attached to a beached whale she and Bart discover while out treasure hunting, and Homer takes drastic action when he receives a huge electricity bill. (R) 7:30 The Simpsons Selma tells the family she is getting engaged to her prison pen-pal – none other than Sideshow Bob, who still harbours a grudge against Bart. (R) 8:00 Hawaii Five-0 The team tries to exonerate McGarrett, who is in prison awaiting trial for the murder of the Governor. Starring Alex O’Loughlin. (R) 9:00 Obese: A Year to Save My Life Nine dangerously overweight individuals try to lose more than half their body weight, beginning with 40-year-old Julie Ball, who weighs 25 stone. (R) 10:00 Brit Cops: War on Crime Documentary series following the work of police officers in Lincolnshire as they tackle crime. (R) 11:00 NCIS: Los Angeles The team searches for Hetty in Romania, but intelligence from America confirms that one of them is set to take a bullet. (R) 12:00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R) 1:10 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R) 1:40 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R) 2:10 Night Cops (R) 3:05 Deadwood (R) 4:00 Bite Size Brainiac (R) 4:15 Dom Joly’s Excellent Adventure (R) 5:10 Don’t Forget the Lyrics

6:00 Emmerdale (R) 6:25 Nanny 911 (R) 7:15 Loose Women (R) 8:05 Judge Judy (R) 9:25 Beauty and the Geek (R) 10:30 Judge Judy (R) 12:00 Emmerdale (R) 12:30 Nanny 911 A woman who teaches her six boys at home. (R) 1:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show Guests air their differences. (R) 2:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show Guests air their differences. (R) 3:40 Beauty and the Geek The women study politics before debating with each other. (R) 4:40 Loose Women (R) 5:40 Judge Judy Triple bill of real-life cases. (R) 7:00 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: New Year Special The second of two festive specials in which famous faces play for their favourite charities, with the questions based on events that took place in 2011. (R) 8:00 Tweets of the Year Rufus Hound narrates a review of 2011 as seen through posts on social-networking site Twitter, including interviews with users whose lives were changed by the utility. (R) 9:00 Benidorm The Garveys return to the Solanas in the company of Madge’s new boyfriend Mel, whose diving competition with the Oracle leads to a near fatal accident. (R) 9:30 Benidorm Martin and Kate babysit Telle’s youngster Coolio, while Mel decides not to tackle Wuthering Heights at the karaoke night following his near-death experience. (R) 10:00 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (12) (2004) The crooks reunite when an old enemy demands they pay back the money they stole from him three years earlier. Crime caper sequel, with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.

Including FYI Daily.

12:30 Coronation Street (R) 1:00 Emmerdale (R) 1:30 Emmerdale (R) 2:00 Teleshopping 5:00 ITV2 Nightscreen

6:00 One Tree Hill (R) 6:45 Smallville (R) 7:30 Wildfire (R) 8:25 One Tree Hill (R) 9:15 Gilmore Girls (R) 10:15 Smallville (R) 11:05 Desperate Housewives (R) 12:00 Greek (R) 1:00 Scrubs (R) 1:30 Scrubs (R) 2:00 Hollyoaks (R) 2:30 Gilmore Girls (R) 3:30 Desperate Housewives (R) 4:25 Rules of Engagement (R) 4:55 Scrubs (R) 5:20 Scrubs (R) 6:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 6:30 The Big Bang Theory (R) 7:00 Hollyoaks Cheryl, Lynsey, Jacqui and Nancy worry about Cindy’s disappearance.

7:30 How I Met Your Mother Marshall and Lily’s news has a profound effect on the gang. (R) 8:00 The Big Bang Theory Leonard confronts a bully from his past.

8:30 Rules of Engagement New series.

Jeff suspects Russell is sleeping with his and Audrey’s surrogate mother.

9:00 How I Met Your Mother Barney takes desperate measures to get rid of the duck-pattern tie.

9:30 Happy Endings Brad faces a difficult situation.

10:00 The Inbetweeners Carli organises a fashion show. (R) 10:35 The Inbetweeners (R) 11:10 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night With guests America Ferrera, Kimberly Wyatt and Alan Carr. (R) 12:00 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:25 The Big Bang Theory (R) 12:55 How I Met Your Mother (R) 1:20 The Inbetweeners (R) 1:50 The Inbetweeners (R) 2:15 Scrubs (R) 2:40 Scrubs (R) 3:05 Greek (R) 3:45 Wildfire (R) 4:30 Switched (R) 4:50 Switched (R) 5:10 Switched (R)

6:00 Aerobics Oz Style 6:30 Kings of the Snow 7:00 WWE: Experience 8:00 Premier League Bowls 9:00 Football Special 10:30 Extreme Carp 11:00 Racing News 11:30 Aerobics Oz Style 12:00 Premier League Bowls 1:00 Watersports World 2:00 Kings of the Snow 2:30 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival The first meeting from the Meydan Racecourse. 6:30 ATP Tour Uncovered 7:00 European Tour Golf 9:00 Kings of the Snow 9:30 Puravida Wave Classic 2011 10:00 The Rugby Club 11:00 Racemax 12:00 Premier League Review 1:00 European Tour Golf

6:00 The X Files 7:00 Star Trek: Voyager 8:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 9:00 ER 11:00 The X Files 12:00 Star Trek: Voyager 1:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 2:00 ER 4:00 Star Trek: Enterprise 5:00 Star Trek: Voyager 6:00 ER 8:00 Inside the Actors Studio 9:00 Film: Good Will Hunting (15) (1997) Drama, with Matt Damon. 11:25 Six Feet Under 12:40 Angels in America 1:55 Six Feet Under 3:10 Funny or Die Presents 3:45 The Life and Times of Tim 4:15 Inside the Actors Studio

6:00 Teleshopping 1:00 Dangerous Drivers’ School 2:00 Build a New Life in the Country 3:00 Cowboy Builders 4:00 Two Guys and a Girl 5:00 Malcolm in the Middle 5:55 5* Access 6:00 The Mentalist A man who believed he was abducted by aliens is murdered. 7:00 World’s Strongest Man 2011 James Richardson and Caroline Pearce present heat four of the finals from Wingate University, North Carolina. 8:00 The Mentalist 10:45 Sex and the City 12:00 Teleshopping

6:00 Teleshopping 12:00 Whose Line Is It Anyway? 12:25 CSI: Miami 1:25 Film: The Santa Suit (PG) (2010) Comedy, starring Kevin Sorbo. 3:15 Law & Order 4:20 Film: The Christmas Card (PG) (2006) Romantic drama, starring John Newton, Edward Asner, Brian Robinson and Alice Evans. 6:00 The Guardian A client dies in Nick’s care. 6:55 Inside Hollywood Magazine show. 7:00 CSI: Miami 9:00 CSI: NY A serial killer strikes in the city. 10:00 NCIS 1:00 SuperCasino 4:00 Close

7:10 Top Gear 8:00 The Gadget Show 8:30 Fifth Gear 9:00 Top Gear 10:00 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 11:00 The Gadget Show 11:30 Fifth Gear 12:00 Top Gear 2:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin 3:00 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 4:00 Top Gear 6:00 Ray Mears’ Extreme Survival 7:00 Amazon with Bruce Parry 8:00 Jo Brand’s Big Splash 9:00 Mock the Week 9:40 Argumental 10:20 That Mitchell and Webb Look 11:00 Jo Brand’s Big Splash 12:00 Mock the Week 12:40 Argumental 1:20 That Mitchell and Webb Look 1:50 Have I Got News for You 2:20 Crash Addicts 3:00 Close

6:00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8:00 European Tour 8:30 Live European Tour Golf 10:30 PGA Tour Golf 11:30 A League Football 12:00 Football Special 1:30 Live European Tour Golf 3:30 PGA Tour Golf 4:30 Extreme Carp 5:00 NFL 6:00 Kings of the Snow 6:30 Puravida Wave Classic 2011 7:00 Racemax 8:00 Rugby Club 9:00 Premier League Review 10:00 WWE: Late Night – Raw 12:00 WWE: NXT 1:00 NFL 2:00 Time of Our Lives 3:00 The Rugby Club

Great British Railway Journeys 6.30pm on BBC TWO Michael Portillo travels from Epping, Essex, to Hackney, discovering why dairy herds were transported by train all over Britain, the importance of the gunpowder trade to Waltham, and details of the first murder on a train.

Eternal Law 9.00pm on itv 1 New series. Angels Zak and Tom are sent to Earth to work as lawyers in York – with a mission to right wrongs and help the community. They are immediately plunged into a court case involving an estranged family and a newlywed, bringing Zak into contact with not only an old flame, but also his arch-enemy.

The Restoration Man 9.00pm on Channel 4 New series. George Clarke helps Pete and Nikki Fagg transform a windmill in Kent that has been a ruin since 1915, but the project faces a setback when Nikki’s cancer relapses.

11:00 Alamar (U) (2009) 12:30 King Solomon’s Mines (U) (1950) 2:35 Knights of the Round Table (PG) (1953) 4:50 One Million Years BC (PG) (1966) Adventure, starring Raquel Welch. 6:50 The Three Musketeers (PG) (1993) Swashbuckling comedy adventure, with Kiefer Sutherland. 9:00 I, Robot (12) (2004) Sci-fi thriller, starring Will Smith.

11:15 The Informers (15) (2008) Premiere. Eighties-set drama, starring Billy Bob Thornton. 1:05 The Dreamers (18) (2003) Drama, starring Michael Pitt.

885930 Email: Sales@JerseyWeekly.com Phone:

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

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75

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Local TV

Local Radio view online at bbc.co.uk/spotlight

BBC Spotlight, Channel Islands News: Monday - Friday 13:30, 18:30 and 22:25 BBC 1 Southwest The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South West of England and in The Channel Islands. view online at channelonline.tv Daybreak Channel Island News Monday - Friday 6:15 , 7:15 and 8:15 ITV 1 Brian Constantine brings you the latest Daybreak headlines in the Channel Islands, travel news and weather.

ITV Channel Television Lunchtime News: Monday - Friday 13:55 ITV 1 An update of the latest news from around the Islands.

ITV Channel Report: Monday - Friday 18:00 ITV 1 Join Jess Dunsdon & Mark McQuillan for Channel Television’s flagship news magazine programme Hard news, in-depth current affairs and features that celebrate life within the Channel Islands.

Report Sport: Monday - Friday 18:15 ITV 1 Andy Richards takes a comprehensive look at the best sporting action from around the Islands.

ITV Channel Television Late News: Monday - Friday 22:30 ITV 1 An update of the day’s news from around the Islands.

WIN TICKETS!

Simply answer the question below correctly to win a pair of tickets to see ‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’

Monday - Thursday 00:00 Just Great Songs Channel 103 Overnight 06:00 The Breakfast Show Peter Mac 10:00 The Mid Morning Show Spencer Davies 14:00 The 103 Music Mix 15:00 The Afternoon Show Jenny Mullin 19:00 The 103 Evening Show Simon Marshall 22:00 The Channel Easy Mix

Monday - Friday 06:00 Simon Jupp 07:00 Roger Bara 10:00 Carrie & Sara 13:00 Jersey at One 13:15 Chris Stone 16:00 Christina Ghidoni 19:00 Duncan Warren 22:00 Vic Morgan

Friday 00:00 Just Great Songs Channel 103 Overnight 06:00 The Breakfast Show Peter Mac 10:00 The Mid Morning Show Spencer Davies 14:00 The 103 Music Mix 15:00 The Afternoon Show Jenny Mullin 19:00 Disco Heaven

Saturday 06:00 Simon Jupp 07:00 Tim Pryor 10:00 Murray Norton 13:00 BBC Introducing 14:00 Saturday Sports Scene Live 17:00 Radio 5 Live 20:00 Geoff Barker’s Rock & Roll Party 22:00 Graham Torrington’s Saturday Love Songs 01:00 BBC Radio Five Live

Saturday 00:00 Just Great Songs Overnight 07:00 Saturday Breakfast Joe Hawkins 11:00 CD Album Chart - Rob Gallichan 13:00 The Album Chart Bonus Bit 14:00 Saturday Afternoon Spencer Davies 18:00 Disco Heaven 22:00 Disco Heaven Back to Back Sunday 00:00 Just Great Songs Channel 103 Overnight 08:00 Easy Sunday - Jenny Mullin 12:00 Sunday Afternoon - Simon Marshall 16:00 Rob Gallichan 19:00 Sunday Evening Back to Back 22:00 Just Great Songs Channel 103 Overnight

Friday Variation 18:00 Sportscene with Roger Bara & Richard Collinson

Sunday 06:00 Hamish Marett-Crosby 07:00 Tim Pryor 10:00 Phil Taylor 12:00 Tim Pollard 14:00 Ted Reynolds 16:00 Alex Belfield 17:00 Vintage Top 40 Show 19:00 Sounds of Brass 20:00 Singers & Swingers 22:00 Graham Torrington Night Time 01:00 BBC Radio Five Live

Including this one, How many Mission Impossible movies has Tom Cruise been involved in?

A-3 B-4 C-5 To enter visit JerseyWeekly.com and fill out the simple entry form. Competition closes 5th January 2012. Be sure to check back weekly for more free tickets to see all the latest great movies at Cineworld.Terms and conditions apply.

Cineworld, The Waterfront Centre, La Rue de L’Etau, St Helier, JE2 4HE. Telephone bookings: 0871 200 2000

76

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885930 Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

What’s On & Where

by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

cient part of St Helier with surprises round every corner as we weave our way through the heart of this old town. Quaint, Jersey customs reveal • COMMUNITY EVENTS • a people of adventure who circumnavigated the world and travelled Jersey Heritage Big Advent the oceans for wealth and fortune • Calendar £8 • Liberation Square petewebb@ 1st - 24th Dec Every day a door localdial.com opens on a Big Advent Calendar in the Jersey Museum courtyard • FREE • Jersey Museum 633300

FRI 23

Vegas Christmas Cabaret

Philip Mourant Centre, Highlands College

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec The exhibition comprises of the private collections of local art collectors and includes paintings, drawings and sculptures by twentieth

Jamie Boylan & DJ King

5pm - 11pm Live Music & Buffet • FREE • Champions 888115

T.F.I.Fridays - ‘The Happy Hours’

5pm - 10pm Open Mic - Singers, Guitarists, MCs, Poets, Everyone Welcome • FREE • Live Lounge

Live Music At The Inn

Dinner

6pm - 9pm FREE Tapas, Live music

by Breezin • FREE • The Inn 722239

7pm - 1am, Thurs, Fri & Sat until 24th Dec A Vegas Christmas is an entirely new Show at The Pier Restaurant at the Havre des Pas Lido. The Dinner Cabaret includes a three course dinner with coffee, a spectacular show presented by international singer Adam Marks and his Showgirls, roulette tables with professional croupiers and dancing, plus your festive Christmas cracker and hat! • £30 • The Pier, Harve des Pas Bathing Pool, 280159

Glen Cowie

6pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

Live Jazz @ Roberto’s Bar

7pm From the energy & excitement of Charlie Parker & Dizzy Gillespie... to the cool of Miles Davis by the, Brian White Jazz Quartet • FREE • 7pm The Savoy, Rouge Bouillon 727521 bwjazz.co.uk

The Pigeon Detectives

• ACTIVITIES •

7.30pm - 11.30pm The organisers of the Jersey Live Festival are proud to announce: ‘The Pigeon Detectives’, Tickets available from White Label Records • £19 • Radisson Blu Waterfront Hotel 725256

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

10am - 6pm until 31st Dec This new exhibition digs deeper into the recent archaeological excavations at Mont Orgueil Castle by Channel 4’s Time Team. Time Team arrived in Jersey in May 2010 and spent three days exploring the outer defences of the castle and looking for possible early buildings on the Castle Green.

• £6 - £10 • Mont Orgueil Castle 633300

Squires Karaoke

7.30pm - 11pm every Fri The New Squires, The best karaoke in town • FREE • Squires Pub 730510

Electric Blues Band

8pm Live Music • FREE • Blue Note

Ice Skate Jersey

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan Get your skates on because the rink is back! Whether you’re a polished performer or a complete novice, you’ll love this opportunity to skate your socks off. Reduced opening hours on December 24th, 26th, 31st & January 1st and closed Christmas Day • £6 - £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

• MUSIC & GIGS •

Beerkats • EXHIBITIONS • Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

century artistic giants such as Pablo Picasso, Fernand Léger, Henri Matisse, Roy Lichtenstein and Henry Moore • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

All Our Yesterdays, The People’s Exhibition

8pm Live Music • FREE • The Ha’penny Bridge 733793

Rockabye

8.30pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty O’Shea’s 887964

Keith Robinson

9pm - 1am DJing • FREE • Tanguys 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec This until 29th Dec a celebration of exhibition looks at life in Jersey Rood Mood • WALKS • work by Adult Education students. from the 1950s through to the end 11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • An exhibition of paintings and draw- of the 1980s. From Island sport and Chambers 735405 St Helier, The Old Quarter - ings by thirty-two talented students, events to toys, fashion, television Guided Walk ranging in age from seventeen to and household products • £4.50 - £8 10am - 12.30pm every Fri until over eighty, who are taught by local • Jersey Museum 633300 23rd Dec Literally, the old and an- artist Michelle Le Cornu. • FREE •

Drawn to Paint

SAT 24

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WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Duhamel St

For Bookings Tel: 519199

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Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

• COMMUNITY EVENTS •

• MUSIC & GIGS •

Jersey Heritage Big Advent Breezin Calendar 6pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty

1st - 24th Dec Every day a door O’Shea’s 887964 opens on a Big Advent Calendar in the Jersey Museum courtyard • Live Music At The Inn FREE • Jersey Museum 633300 7pm - 11pm FREE Tapas, Live music

by Matt Holcroft • FREE • The Inn St Peter’s Indoor Market 722239 9am - 3pm every Weds & Sat All sorts of goodies and treasures Christmas Tunes for-sale • FREE • Behind St Peter’s 9pm Christmas Tunes running till Parish Hall midnight • FREE • Tanguy’s Bar

Vegas Christmas Cabaret

Dinner

7pm - 1am, Thurs, Fri & Sat until 24th Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £30 • The Pier, Harve des Pas Bathing Pool, 280159

upheld for many years now; the Jersey Canoe Club invites participants down to St Catherine’s Old Smugglers Inn Christ- slipway. This swim is for fun on mas Day Swim Christmas day. Then on Boxing Day, 10.30am - 1.30pm Headway are the club organise a paddle. For those inviting the bravest of islanders brave enough to swim on Christmas to join in the Old Smugglers Inn day mulled wine and mince pies are Christmas swim which will be on served afterwards at the club house.

Christmas day at 10:00 on Ouaisne • FREE • St Catherine’s Slipway beach. Swimmers will be rewarded with mulled wine and mince pies The Jersey Surf Club Christin the Smugglers Inn to warm up mas Day Swim afterwards. Sponsorship forms are 11.15am For the last five years now available and donations will be the Jersey Surfboard Club have held divided between Headway Jersey their Christmas Day Swim at the Watersplash. The swim is also in aid of Jersey Hospice. Hot drinks will be served in the Watersplash bar • FREE • The Watersplash

• FUNDRAISER •

MON 26

• FUNDRAISERS •

• ACTIVITIES •

Durrell - Half Price Entry

9.30am - 5pm Every weekend in December, except Christmas day [park is closed] • £6.45 - £4.70 • Durrell

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Mont Orgueil Castle 633300

• ACTIVITIES •

Ice Skate Jersey

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Mont Orgueil Castle 633300

• FUNDRAISERS •

Ice Skate Jersey

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

“Moonwalk” to Seymour Tower

• EXHIBITIONS • Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Drawn to Paint

The Lockout

until 29th Dec See Friday 23rd 11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • synopsis • FREE • Philip Mourant Chambers 735405 Centre, Highlands College

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

SUN 25

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See • COMMUNITY EVENTS • Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300 Bikes.je Morning Coffee

All Our Yesterdays, The People’s Exhibition

& Breakfast Meeting

and Jersey Hospice Care • FREE • Ouaisne Bay 510349

Jersey Swimming Christmas Day Swim

Club

11am - 12pm The annual festive dip by the Jersey Swimming Club and friends. Jersey Swimming Club expects to see more than 200 people plunge • FREE • Havre des Pas Bathing Pool jerseypolarbears. org.je

8am every Sun Meet like minded bikers for Coffee and a chat.

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Everyone welcome • FREE • The The Jersey Canoe Club Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Kiosk, Victoria Avenue Christmas Day Swim Jersey Museum 633300 11am A tradition that has been

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

12.30pm - 3.30pm Take a walk on the sea-bed. Explore gullies, cross sand bars and rock pools to Seymour Tower. Discover Jersey’s very own wilderness area in the company of local guides. Revel in the stillness and expanse of an area that is covered twice a day by some of the highest tides in the world (40ft) • £7.25 - £14.50 • Jersey Walk Adventures, Location on Booking 07797 853033 • THEATRE •

Sleeping Beauty

2.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan Take care who you invite to a party! If you miss someone off the guest list there could be problems... Join the adventure in the annual Jersey Green Room Club Pantomime as the evil fairy Carabosse takes her revenge upon a forgetful King and Queen • £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House 511115

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STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

HALF PRICE

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WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

• EXHIBITIONS • Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351 • THEATRE •

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Mont Orgueil Castle 633300 Jersey Museum 633300

Ice Skate Jersey

• MUSIC & GIGS •

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 2.30pm & 7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Karaoke £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade Drawn to Paint Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • 8pm every Tues Live Karaoke 07700 878351 until 29th Dec See Friday 23rd £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House (Subject to Change) • FREE • • THEATRE • synopsis • FREE • Philip Mourant 511115 Chambers 735405 Centre, Highlands College

All Our Yesterdays, The People’s Exhibition

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

Sleeping Beauty

• EXHIBITIONS •

George & Pete, Jazz With A Tune

Sleeping Beauty

9pm - 11pm every Tues & Weds

Jersey Amateur Dramatic Club Presents

• WALKS •

Lewis Carroll’s

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass A musical play dramatised by Clemence Dane with music by Richard Addinsell

• MUSIC & GIGS • Acoustic Club

8.30pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty O’Shea’s 887964

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Paul Shoer

Drawn to Paint

9pm - 1am Boxing Day special • FREE • Tanguys

Frank Tausney

11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

TUE 27

10am every Wed A gentle 1.5 hour walk from the JAAC (Jersey Adventure and Activity Centre) around the Faldouet area of St Martin with Jeremy Mutter • £5 • JAAC, Haute de la Garenne, St Martin Jersey Adventures 498636

Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

Rockabye

9.30pm - 2.15am December promises to be the biggest month of the year for the island’s clubbers, with a double bill of huge events at the Splash - following a midDecember bill topped by Australian dance giants Pendulum, the island is set for its biggest club event of the year on Boxing Day • £17.05 - £20 • The Watersplash 887786

A Brief Walk In Time

• EXHIBITIONS •

8.30pm Live music • FREE • The Ha’penny Bridge 733793

Theology’s Boxing Day Bash

7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House 511115

until 29th Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • FREE • Philip Mourant Centre, Highlands College

Jersey Art Centre 10th - 15th & 18th - 21st January Nightly 7.45pm Matinees Saturday & Sunday at 3.00pm Additional Matinee on 15th January at 11.00am

All Our Yesterdays, The People’s Exhibition

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

Special Promotion on Family Tickets for All Matinees Purchase before the 23rd December & receive up to 10% Discount After the 23rd December all Tickets return to flat rate of £15.00 each

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

Box Office: 700444 www.artscentre.je Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

Live Music • FREE • Blue Note

• CLASSES •

WED 28

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Drawn to Paint

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

• COMMUNITY EVENTS •

until 29th Dec See Friday 23rd St Peter’s Indoor Market synopsis • FREE • Philip Mourant 9am - 3pm every Wed & Sat All Time Team At Mont Orgueil Centre, Highlands College sorts of goodies and treasures for10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See sale • FREE • Behind St Peter’s All Our Yesterdays, Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Parish Hall The People’s Exhibition Mont Orgueil Castle 633300 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See • ACTIVITIES • Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Ice Skate Jersey Jersey Museum 633300

• ACTIVITIES •

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

Repair/Remodel Your Clothes

5.30pm - 7pm every Wed Use your lunch hours profitably and get ready for your holiday! Come and learn essential phrases and vocabulary for shopping, travel, hotel bookings, eating out and much more. No previous knowledge of Spanish is required • £14 • The Bridge, Le Geyt Rd, St Saviour, Hosted by The Salvage Lounge 077977 57178

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81

Jersey Amateur Dramatic Club Presents Lewis Carroll’s

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass A musical play dramatised by Clemence Dane with music by Richard Addinsell

Jersey Art Centre 10th - 15th & 18th - 21st January Nightly 7.45pm Matinees Saturday & Sunday at 3.00pm Additional Matinee on 15th January at 11.00am

Special Promotion on Family Tickets for All Matinees Purchase before the 23rd December & receive up to 10% Discount After the 23rd December all Tickets return to flat rate of £15.00 each

Box Office: 700444 www.artscentre.je

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

claire.rondel@hotmail.co.uk

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ Sewing Club 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See white drawings by Steve Davies • 4.15pm - 5.15pm every Wed Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall Children’s workshop run by a Jersey Museum 633300 Qualified Teacher. Students will Hidden Treasures Modern • MUSIC & GIGS • make a recycled beanbag. Creating Masters Exhibition their own graphics and learning 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See sewing machine skills. Sewing Suzy’s Field Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • machines supplied • £30 for 3 11pm every Thurs (Subject to Jersey Museum 633300 Sessions • The Bridge, Le Geyt Rd, Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405 St Saviour, Hosted by The Salvage All Our Yesterdays, Lounge 077977 57178 claire.

The People’s Exhibition rondel@hotmail.co.uk 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • • MUSIC & GIGS • Jersey Museum 633300

FRI 30

George & Pete, Jazz With A Tune

8pm Live Music • FREE • The Ha’penny Bridge 733793

Jamie Boylan

8.30pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty O’Shea’s 887964

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

Boxing Day - Free Entry

COLD TURKEY Live Acoustic Sets

6pm

9pm

• THEATRE •

9pm

Live DJ Sets

Ben Newman John O’Connell Pete De Momme

• EXHIBITIONS • Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

7pm From the energy & excitement of Charlie Parker & Dizzy Gillespie... to the cool of Miles Davis by the, Brian White Jazz Quartet • FREE • 7pm The Savoy, Rouge Bouillon 727521 bwjazz.co.uk

Beerkats

• ACTIVITIES •

7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House 511115

Live Jazz @ Roberto’s Bar

8pm Live Music • FREE • Blue Note

THURS 29

Sleeping Beauty

6pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

Electric Blues Band

11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

Glen Cowie

7.30pm - 11pm every Fri The New Squires, The best karaoke in town • FREE • Squires Pub 730510

The Reminders

Ice Skate Jersey

5pm - 10pm Open Mic - Singers, Guitarists, MCs, Poets, Everyone Welcome • FREE • Live Lounge

Squires Karaoke

9pm - 11pm every Tues & Wed Live Music • FREE • Blue Note

10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Mont Orgueil Castle 633300

T.F.I.Fridays - ‘The Happy Hours’

• ACTIVITIES •

close

Ross Hunter

9pm - 1am DJing • FREE • Tanguy’s Bar

Amy Winehouse & Katy Perry

9pm Vicky Jackson continues to be the number one tribute to the British jazz superstar, and has perfected the movements and mannerisms that on that make this Amy Winehouse Tribute stand out from the rest.

Vicky also performs as Katy Perry, featuring all Katy’s hits from her two top selling albums Vicky brings you the outrageous and kitch show that you have been waiting for! • FREE • The Royal Yacht 720511

• THEATRE • Rood Mood 11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • 10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See Chambers 735405 Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Sleeping Beauty 7.30pm, 26th Dec 8th Jan See Mont Orgueil Castle 633300 Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 Drawn to Paint • Jersey Opera House 511115 until 29th Dec See Friday 23rd Ice Skate Jersey synopsis • FREE • Philip Mourant 10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan • MUSIC & GIGS • • COMMUNITY EVENTS • Centre, Highlands College See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade Song School Studio All Our Yesterdays, 07700 878351 St Peter’s Indoor Market 10am - 3pm 8 Young people in 9am - 3pm every Weds & Sat The People’s Exhibition the recording studio making an EP All sorts of goodies and treasures • EXHIBITIONS • 10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See • FREE • La Motte Street Youth for-sale • FREE • Behind St Peter’s Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Centre Jersey Museum 633300 Steve Davies Christmas Parish Hall 28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Time Team At Mont Orgueil

SAT 31

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

83

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

L SA E NOW ON

up to 50% off selected products

www.ci-coop.com

caring & sharing 84

SAVE

4%

DIVIDEND

www.ci-coop.com. Goose Green Marsh, Beaumont, St Peter.

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Glitterati Gala New Years 28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ of St Helier. Canapés from 19:00 to Shoer playing the best in house white drawings by Steve Davies • 20:30. Extension till 03:30 • £10 • and old skool bangers • £5 • Pure Eve Party 7pm Welcome in the New Year with a fabulous evening of glamour and decadence at The Royal Yacht’s famous Glitterati Ball. Begin your evening with a glass of champagne and canapés followed by a sumptuous four course gala dinner.

Live entertainment will delight as you dance the night away and welcome in 2012! • £115 - £175 • The Royal Yacht 720511

FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Mimosa Bar 877003

Nightclub 07797 751669

Hidden Treasures Modern Masters Exhibition

New Year’s Eve at THE Bar

New Year’s Eve at Chambers

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • Jersey Museum 633300

All Our Yesterdays, The People’s Exhibition

10am - 5pm until 31st Dec See Friday 23rd synopsis • £4.50 - £8 • New Year’s Eve at Jersey Jersey Museum 633300

Bowl

7.30pm - 2pm Our Buffet Ticket price includes unlimited bowling and quasar, free arcade Games, sky lanterns at Midnight, live entertainment and Games and Prizes. Tickets available from Reception • £10 - £25 • Jersey Bowl 490444 jerseybowl.com

• MUSIC & GIGS • New Year’s Eve Part

8.30pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty O’Shea’s 887964

Live Music at The Inn

6.30pm - 1am 6.30-9.30pm Live music with Matt Holcroft and St Aubin’s Hospitality New 9.30pm-1am DJ John • FREE • The Year’s Eve Firework Extrava- Inn 722239

ganze

12.15am Fantastic fireworks display from St Aubin’s Fort organized by St Aubin’s hospitality establishments.

Free for anyone celebrating and bringing in the new year in St. Aubin’s village • FREE • St Aubin

7.30pm - 1am Resolutions Party – Indulgence Buffet , D.J & Entertainment. Bubbles on arrival.

Wii challenge’s, Heated marquee, Disco & Dancing. Celebrations kick off at 19:30. Adults £10. Prize for the best resolutions, Dress Code: Smart casual. Strictly over 18s • £10 • THE Bar 789431

SUN 1 • COMMUNITY EVENTS •

The Smugglers Inn - New Bikes.je Morning Coffee Year’s Eve Party & Breakfast Meeting 8pm Local band ‘Sergeant Pipon’ will be playing at the Smugglers Inn on New Year’s Eve. Tickets are £5 and need to be purchased from the Smugglers Inn prior to the event.

Numbers are limited to 120 so get your ticket early before they all go!

Ticket price includes an all you can eat buffet • £5 • The Smugglers Inn 741510

New Year’s Eve at The Boat NYE at The Drift House 8pm The Drift has another great

7pm - 1pm Sails Brasserie - Tickets for this exclusive party are £55 a head including a 4 course dinner and dance until 01:00 to DJ Nelson.

The theme is ‘Dress to Impress’.

Quay Bar - It will be a fun and lively • FUNDRAISERS • affair in Quay Bar for New Years Eve. Tickets are £30 and include a Durrell - Half Price Entry 9.30am - 5pm Every weekend in 3 course dinner and DJ. There will December, except Christmas day be a party atmosphere and the all [park is closed] • £6.45 - £4.70 • important bells at midnight. Tickets for Sails Brasserie and the Quay Bar Durrell are available from The Boat House.

• £30 - £55 • The Boat House • ACTIVITIES • 744226

11pm - 2am A late night pub style atmosphere with live music/disco in the back room. Free entry. Strictly over 18s • FREE • Chambers 735405

night lined up for everyone to see in the New Year! With fantastic music all night from our Resident DJ’s and live entertainment from one of our favourite guest artists, we will be paying tribute to some of the biggest female music legends the world has ever seen. • £10 • The Royal Yacht 720511

The Cryptics

8pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • The Ha’penny Bridge 733793

8am every Sun Meet like minded bikers for Coffee and a chat.

Everyone welcome • FREE • The Kiosk, Victoria Avenue

• WALKS • The New Year’s Day Turkey Buster 2012

12pm - 4pm ONCE again, The National Trust for Jersey invites you to welcome in the New Year by putting your best foot forward in the most social and healthiest of ways. The 90 minute walk starts at 12 noon from the Observation Tower at Le Corbiere before snaking along the rugged south coast cliffpaths and back along part of the old Railway Walk – wonderful views guaranteed along the way • £2 • Corbiere Observation Tower 483193 • THEATRE •

Sleeping Beauty

2.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See

Club Kamikaze New Year’s Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 Eve • Jersey Opera House 511115 10am - 6pm until 31st Dec See New Year’s Eve Party at The 9.30pm - 3am he middle floor hosts a ‘Stars in your Eyes’ party with 5 Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 - £10 • Horse and Hound • MUSIC & GIGS • Time Team At Mont Orgueil

7pm - 1am Live Music by Paul, Buffet & Pipers. Tickets available from The Horse and Hound • £15 • The Horse & Hound. Susie 07700 760917

bands duking it out as each band performs a selection of covers of a designated artiste, in their own Ice Skate Jersey inimitable style, along with their 10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan own original numbers. The ground See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 floor will feature an ‘End of the £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade ‘A Heavenly’ New Years Eve World’ party complete with a dub07700 878351 7pm - 2am Heaven, Hell and step soundtrack and apocalyptic film Purgatory - 3 Rooms, 3 Vibes, 3 backdrop. Tickets are available from • THEATRE • Choices. Tanguy’s very own DJ White Label Records in Colomberie, Keith Robinson will see you through and from the iQ, Beresford Street • Sleeping Beauty 2.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See to 2012 with a live link to Big Ben £8 • Live Lounge Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 and the big countdown. VIP Tables available • TBA • Tanguy’s Bar New Year’s Eve at Pure • Jersey Opera House 511115 07797 858352 10pm - 3am Uniting the Boogaloo • EXHIBITIONS • and 3 Twenty collectives for the New Year’s Eve at Mimosa first time, the line up includes DJs 7pm - 3.30am A fashionable bar Tony Safe, Keith Robinson, Hannah Steve Davies Christmas situated in the entertainment hub Jacques, Dave Smith and Paul Exhibition Mont Orgueil Castle 633300

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

New Year’s Day Special

9pm - 1am Gaby & Ross Hunter DJing • FREE • Tanguy’s Bar

MON 2 • ACTIVITIES • Ice Skate Jersey

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351 • THEATRE •

www.jerseyweekly.com

85

homemaker

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

WINTER

Sale Now On!

SA L E

WHAT’S ON

Christmas Opening Hours Mon 19th – Fri 23rd December

Tuesday 27th December

Saturday 24th December

Open until 9pm Closing at 6pm 10am – 4pm Panasonic Plasma 42” TVs TXP42ut30B was £699 now £499 Whilst stocks last Samsung LED TVs only £899

Tom Tom Sat-Navs Great Xmas Present

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Samsung Hi Spec laptops was £349 now £299 Whilst stocks last

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Kenwood Tri- Blade Blender was £29.99 now £12.99 Whilst stocks last

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Was £149.99 Now £99.99

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caring & sharing

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Your full-colour guide 8.30am to local news, events and entertainment. www.ci-coop.com La Rue le Masurier, St Helier, Jersey JE2 4YE. Tel: weekly 879822 Open Monday to Saturday – 7pm

WHAT’S ON

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Sleeping Beauty

• MUSIC & GIGS • 2.30pm & 7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House Karaoke 8pm every Tues Live Karaoke 511115 (Subject to Change) • FREE • • EXHIBITIONS • Chambers 735405 Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

• WALKS •

Ice Skate Jersey

• THEATRE •

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 Sleeping Beauty £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See 07700 878351 Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 • THEATRE • • Jersey Opera House 511115

• EXHIBITIONS •

George & Pete, Jazz With A Tune

9pm - 11pm every Tues & Weds Live Music • FREE • Blue Note

WED 4

Sleeping Beauty

Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Moonwalk with the stars at your feet

6.15pm - 7.45pm As night descends and the ocean recedes star like shapes of luminous green (bioluminescence) begin to twinkle and sparkle in a few special spots at low tide. See the bio-luminescence and other marine life • £7.25 - £14.50 • Location on Booking 07797 853033

ROJO RESIDENTS

8-1

Junior Drama

£15*

A COSY PARTY FOR ROJO FRIENDS AND FAMILY

UPSTAIRS FOR DRINKING DOWNSTAIRS FOR DANCING

8.30pm Live music • FREE • The Ha’penny Bridge 733793

JOIN US FOR GREAT DRINK, FOOD & MUSIC & THE ODD FREE SHOT!

Rockabye

8.30pm Live Music • FREE • Kitty O’Shea’s 887964

Frank Tausney

*£15 INCLUDING GLASS OF BUBBLY AND BUFFET. LIMITED TO 80 TICKETS.

TUE 3

RESERVE YOUR PLACE WITH ONE OF THE BAR STAFF OR EMAIL: ROJO@ROJO.CO.JE

• ACTIVITIES • 10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

• MUSIC & GIGS •

• COMMUNITY EVENTS •

9pm - 11pm every Tues & Wed Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • sorts of goodies and treasures forLive Music • FREE • Blue Note £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House sale • FREE • Behind St Peter’s Parish Hall 511115

The Reminders

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

Ice Skate Jersey

10am - 10pm, 10th Dec - 8th Jan See Friday 23rd synopsis • £6 £22 • Parade Gardens, The Parade 07700 878351

11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

THURS 5

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

11pm every Thurs (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

FREE!

George & Pete, Jazz With A Tune 2.30pm & 7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th 9am - 3pm every Wed & Sat All St Peter’s Indoor Market

• ACTIVITIES •

Suzy’s Field

Advertise your local events in a text listing here for

Ice Skate Jersey

Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

5.30pm - 7.30pm, every Thurs till 29th March Participants will be taken through the principles of performance, including improvisation, voice and movement. Communication, concentration and commitment are essential disciplines of exciting performance and these will be further explored and developed. Incorporating a multitude of fun drama activities and games, the workshops also develop social skills and confidence • £47.50 - £50 • St James

• MUSIC & GIGS •

11pm (Subject to Change) • FREE • Chambers 735405

• EXHIBITIONS •

Steve Davies Christmas Exhibition

• CLASSES •

BEN NEWMAN JOHN O’CONNELL PETE DE MOMME

Acoustic Club

Sleeping Beauty

• EXHIBITIONS •

28th Nov - 7th Jan Original black/ white drawings by Steve Davies • FREE • Jersey Airport Arrivals Hall

• MUSIC & GIGS •

• THEATRE •

7.30pm, 26th Dec - 8th Jan See Monday 26th synopsis • £14 - £16 • Jersey Opera House 511115

Simply email the details to news@ jerseyweekly. com

• ACTIVITIES •

www.jerseyweekly.com

87

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Property Search over 3,400 properties from 39 agents and see open viewing times, directions & maps every week at JerseyWeekly.com/property

Weekly Bulletin The Mortgage Shop follows the market on a daily basis and is always able to advise on the best rates and deals that are available from all lenders offering mortgages in Jersey.

The Bank of England base rate remains at 0.50%.

The world economic crisis will continue to have an influence on this rate which economists are now predicting will have to remain at this level until at least 2014.

Many people tell us that there is no point in trying to buy property at the moment because the banks are not lending although nothing could be further from the truth with all lenders in the Island open for business, willing to listen and prepared to offer mortgages at levels up to 100% of the purchase price.

An area of growth that we have seen in the past three years is the number of private mortgages that we are organising and rates with these start at 7%. These are interest only and ideal for anybody whose credit is good but is unable to raise a mortgage from a bank or building society through age or lack of sustainable income.

Don’t forget that you can pop in to The Mortgage Shop any weekday to take advantage of our Five Minute Review.

Call us now 789830 or visit www.mortgageshop.je for more information Regulated by the Jersey Financial Services Commission in the Conduct of investment business

88

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

“Our Business is Your Success”

EARLIER THIS YEAR, Hawksford, previously Hawksford International, commissioned a significant piece of client and competitor benchmarking, with the results informing a wellconsidered brand re-fresh, of which the new website forms a part. This brand re-fresh has recently been shortlisted for the Best Brand award at the forthcoming Jersey CIM awards.

As part of this process, Hawksford has eveloped a business philosophy ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, which is also the company’s new positioning statement. There is an entire sub section of the website dedicated to ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, enabling clients to understand this underlying ethos which is shared across the business. ‘Thinking about tomorrow’ encourages Hawksford’s people to think differently for clients and plan structures that will not only meet their present short-term objectives, but be flexible enough to address the future needs of generations to come.

Create your own 16 page full-colour glossy A4 brochure with 1,000 copies printed and delivered for just £970!

EARLIER THIS YEAR, Hawksford, previously Hawksford International, commissioned a significant piece of client and competitor benchmarking, with the results informing a well-considered brand re-fresh, of which the new website forms a part. This brand re-fresh has recently been shortlisted for the Best Brand award at the forthcoming Jersey CIM awards.

As part of this process, Hawksford has eveloped a business philosophy ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, which is also the company’s new positioning statement. There is an entire sub section of the website dedicated to ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, enabling clients to understand this underlying ethos which is shared across the business. ‘Thinking about tomorrow’ encourages Hawksford’s people to think differently for clients and plan structures that will not only meet their present short-term objectives, but be flexible enough to address the future needs of generations to come.

Led by research data, Hawksford has developed a series of sub-brand identities to ensure that both clients and intermediaries alike have a clear understanding of the comprehensive range of services and bespoke services the business offers. These include Hawksford Fiduciary, Hawksford Law, Hawksford Family Office, Hawksford Wills and Probate, Hawksford Funds, Hawksford Employee Solutions, Hawksford Media and Sports, Hawksford Advisory, Hawksford Succession Planning and the company’s Swiss offering, L-S&S GmbH. As users browse through the site, the colours and brand images change, dependent on which of these sub-brand areas the page resides in. This clear navigation makes using the site to find out key information incredibly easy, even for those who know little about Hawksford when landing on the home page.

Also featured within the site is a full database of all of the 130 staff at Hawksford, giving an in depth look into their roles and responsibilities, as well as an insight into their interests and hobbies outside of work.

The corporate brand imagery Hawksford uses throughout the site is intended to be refreshingly different to the standard corporate imagery .

Hawksford, previously Hawksford International, commissioned a significant piece of client and competitor benchmarking, with the results informing a well-considered brand re-fresh, of which the new website forms a part.

This brand re-fresh has recently been shortlisted for the Best Brand award at the forthcoming Jersey CIM awards.

As part of this process, Hawksford has developed a business philosophy ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, which is also the company’s new positioning statement. There is an entire sub section of the website dedicated to ‘thinking beyond tomorrow’, enabling clients to understand this underlying ethos which is shared across the business. ‘Thinking about tomorrow’ encourages Hawksford’s people to think differently for clients and plan structures that will not only meet their present short-term objectives, but be flexible enough to address the future needs of generations to come.

Led by research data, Hawksford has developed a series of sub-brand identities to ensure that both clients and intermediaries alike have a clear understanding of the comprehensive range of services and bespoke services the business offers. These include Hawksford Fiduciary, Hawksford Law, Hawksford Family Office, Hawksford Wills and Probate, Hawksford Funds, Hawksford Employee Solutions, Hawksford Media and Sports, Hawksford Advisory, Hawksford Succession Planning and the company’s.

*(that’s just £60/page) and £150 per additional 1,000 copies, (so just 15p a copy) to distribute from your shop and in other key locations

Includes: FREE design, page layout and updated content every month and your own-branded stand outside your shop* 16 pages could include just premium properties or even ALL your properties!

Plus, any additional messages from you.

You could even include advertising to help share the costs!

Now you can reach the huge audience of Jersey Weekly readers every week with the latest listings AND give your clients a high-quality brochure of your portfolio every month.

Call Agent Design on 885920 or email sales@agentdesign.co.uk *For just £195 Including design and delivery.

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

89

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Hot Properties: Detached Homes Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Substantial Family Home

Splendid Country Location

A superbly maintained detached family home on a large plot in St Lawrence. The property would be ideal for a growing family and includes: four bedrooms (one with ensuite shower room), large lounge/ diner, conservatory, kitchen with adjacent breakfast room, large utility, house shower room and cloakroom. In addition, there are large mature gardens, an integral garage and parking for ten cars. From the first floor there are distant views of St Aubin’s Bay.

Recently extended and refitted to a very high standard is this desirable detached house in sought after St Mary. The property boasts a flexible layout with 4 bedrooms all en-suite. The entrance is via a private gated courtyard which leads to parking for numerous cars and a double garage. The southfacing, sunny, safely enclosed garden is accessed via doors out from the lounge. A superb property near to schools, petrol station with shop and local country inn, the beach at Greve de Lecq is only a 15 minute walk away.

£820,000 Viewings by Crespel Properties - 01534 625569

£895,000 Viewings by Red Properties - 01534 710710

Putting your Property In Safe Hands Let our professional team take care of your business.

Whether you’re buying, selling or investing in property in Jersey, you can rest assured that our experienced property team will ensure you avoid any pitfalls.

For a friendly discussion about your requirements, or to arrange a free consultation at our Esplanade office, please call Peter Bertram on 504110.

Visit us online at

www.ogierproperty.com

Detached Granite Barn Conversion

One of a Kind

A unique detached granite barn conversion with interior design of an exceptional standard including a treble height vaulted living area. A wonderful home with 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and spacious living areas of character and charm. Outside is a safe and secure sheltered rear garden with outhouses providing ample storage/workshops, plus a delightful private barbeque area together with parking and a large double garage.

Country which is central St John , uniquely transported from Norway to create a truly individual chalet home, which is immaculate throughout. Offering a lowmaintenance home in the country, this property comes with a large 80’ x 80’ garden and field attached. The vendors have created a lovely family home, with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, an eat-in kitchen, large lounge, conservatory and ample parking in addition to having potential to extend if desired.

£895,000 Viewings by Prestige Property - 01534 879999

£835,000 Viewings by Lyons Estates - 01534 481894

90

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

PROPERTY

Property of the Week Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Two Generation Located in the rural parish of Trinity, you will find this large detached two generation home. Spacious and superbly presented throughout, the property is truly versatile in how it can be used, The property briefly comprises of six bedrooms, two receptions, eat in kitchen, utility area, four bathrooms, cloakroom, two terraced areas, front and rear paved gardens with two single garages and parking for 10. ÂŁ1,100,000 Viewings by Troys 01534 734488

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online‌

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91

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Maison De La Palloterie Words // Rick Jones Feature Design // Jon Moore

This charming five bedroom granite country house - with separate one bedroom cottage - is situated on a country lane that sees little use. Unless you were looking for it, you would never know it’s there. This private setting however, belies the size and substantial nature of the property. With recent refurbishment work having been carried out, the house is in fantastic order despite it’s age, and overlooks a charming, picturesque and secluded garden.

This property sits in the rural area near Rozel Manor. The leafy green lane is rarely visited by anyone other than those who are headed to the house itself, yet the shops, pub and parish Church are a mere ten minutes walk from the garden gate.

The building is said to be more than 300 years old, and is built from Echrehous and Jersey granite - solid stuff with true craftsmanship required to build such a charming house and cottage. Recent refurbishments have been sensitive to the nature of the fine work done by the original builders and stonemasons, and as such the character of the buildings remain firmly intact, even though the home comforts are far more up-to-date.

The steep roof pitch and ‘witches stones’ on the chimneys along with the date-stone in the gatepost allude to the house having formerly had a thatched roof. There is undoubtedly a great deal of history behind this property, and potential owners could investigate further with the Société Jersiaise - there are often some surprises to be found with properties that have stood for this long.

There is plenty of scope for further work, subject to planning permission being granted, but as is, the property would be fantastic as a family home and an idyllic place to bring up children.

The mature, established garden features a ‘summer house’ and a decked patio with a lean-to shelter. In front of the house, there is plenty of parking provided. There is also a workshop and separate double garage, ideal for the automotive enthusiast.

The accommodation consists of an open-plan living room, a study, kitchen and breakfast room leading to a cloakroom. A utility room with provision for washer, dryer and freezer space rounds out the downstairs area.

Upstairs there are five generously sized bedrooms and two bathrooms, both of which fitted out with high quality sanitary ware throughout, yet have been refurbished in such a way as to keep their period appearance.

The attached cottage comprises of a living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.

Overall, this is a fine example of a historic property, that is thoroughly ‘Jersey’ - from its building materials and design, right through to its garden flora and fauna and its location in the heart of one of the most rural parishes in the Island.

For more details, or to arrange a viewing, please contact; Michael Dean, Tel; 01534 722227 or email; mgdean@savills.com

92

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Concerned about the cost of your heating bills?

Well now you might not have to worry quite so much! Building Renovations Ltd are offering you the chance to win an outstanding prize with an estimated value of up to £2,000.

COMPETITION

Building Renovations Ltd have been providing quality specialist treatments and construction services to property owners on the island for the past 22 years. They are BBA accredited Rockwool cavity wall insulation installers.

To be in with a chance of winning this amazing prize please head over to JerseyWeekly.com and answer the following question:

Rockwool Energy Saver insulation is a completely natural product which is non toxic and water resistant.

They are offering you the chance to win cavity wall insulation for your entire home (with a lifetime guarantee).

It is recognised that your property loses up to 35% of its heat through the walls and this can be substantially reduced by the installation of cavity wall insulation.

This prize would significantly reduce heat loss from your property, thus dramatically reducing your energy bills.

Paul Richardson, Managing Director of Building Renovations Ltd, will personally consult with the winner to ensure suitability and to ensure maximum satisfaction.

Over the winter months enjoy the substantial savings as your heating bills come down!

How long has Building Renovations Ltd been established on the island?

A - 21 Years B - 22 Years C - 23 Years In the event that you are not a winner but would still like to benefit from a special discount offer on cavity wall insulation from Building Renovations please send an e-mail info@br.je after entering the competition and let us know.

PLEASE NOTE • To comply with the CIGA guarantee the installation of cavity wall insulation is subject to the successful completion of a free of charge cavity survey to ensure its installation is not detrimental to your property.

• Should your property be unsuitable for cavity wall insulation, no cash alternative will be offered. The offer is for a property of maximum four bedrooms size and/or no more than 160 square metre of walls

Building Renovations Ltd has been providing specialist treatment and construction services to the Island for over 22 years.

Whether it is water or damp ingress, dry rot, wet rot, or infestation from wood boring insects our surveying team has a wealth of construction problem solving experience and our wide product range can cater for all construction issues irrelevant of size or complexity.

We have a proven track record of delivering projects from conception to handover and would be please to discuss your requirements in greater detail with you.

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

93

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Interiors & Accessories Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Accessories for your home Don’t underestimate the power of accessories. Carefully chosen, the right ones can give your home a fresh look without breaking the bank. Lamps, rugs and candles in zingy hues will add a hit of colour without being too drastic.

Choose a statement clock Clocks are fast becoming artwork in their own right and are the perfect way to put a stamp on a plain wall in your home.

Bistro Large Clock £48 livelaughlove.co.uk

Printed Canvas Grandpa Clock £69 grahamandgreen.co.uk

Kensington Wall Clock £55 grahamandgreen.co.uk

Choose some chunky lanterns If you don’t fancy having open candles in your living room, a safer option is to invest in a selection of smart lanterns to provide that cosy, flickering flame look.

Choose a luxurious rug Rugs are essential for hard flooring, particularly in colder weather. To add that extra bit of luxury underfoot, go for a deep pile rug that you can sink your toes into on cold winter nights.

Plum Fine Sparkle Rug £45 - £230 next.co.uk

Large Iron Lantern £55 grahamandgreen. co.uk

Temple Lanterns £12 - £29 grahamandgreen.co.uk

94

Sheepskin Rug £295 johnlewis.com

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Tel: 861888 info@rockproperty.co.uk

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SOLE AGENT

SOLE AGENT

SOLE AGENT

Mews Cottage in First Tower

Substantial 4 bed house at First Tower

Great value 1 bed with parking

£355,000 | Freehold | A-J

£435,000 | Freehold | A-J

£189,000 | Flying Freehold | A-H

• Two double beds • Open-plan reception • Designated parking

• 4 beds • 2 bathrooms • Potential to improve

• Realistically priced • Designated parking • Purpose-built block

• Convenient location Ref: J1501

• No onward chain!

• Popular location Ref: J1502

Ref: J1504

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• Convenient location

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D L O

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Sydney Crill Park, Pontac

Rural views with scope, St Clement

Stunning Views Across St Helier

£495,000 | Freehold | A-J

£465,000 | Freehold | A-J

£329,000 | Share Transfer | A-H

• Two reception rooms • West-facing rear garden

• Large 3 bed semi • Stunning rural views • Additional block-

• Large 3 bed maisonette • Designated parking • Lots of potential

• Parking for up to 4 cars • No Onward Chain!

Ref: J1482

D L O

built office • Motivated vendor Ref: J1481

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• No Onward Chain!

D L O

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Immaculate 1 Bed Apt, Havre Des Pas

2 Minute Walk Into Town

Outskirts of St Helier

£210,000 | Flying Freehold | A-H

£459,000 | Freehold | A-J

£215,000 | Share Transfer | A-H

• Beautiful interior • Ready to move-in now!

• Offers Invited!

• Recently refurbished • 3 double bedrooms • Short walk from

• Large 2 bed duplex • Parking for 2 cars • Walk to work • No onward chain!

• Undercover parking Ref:J1441

town • Private rear garden

Commercial House, 2 Commercial Street, St Helier

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

Ref: J1469

Ref: J1448

Ref: J1492

www.rockproperty.co.uk

www.jerseyweekly.com

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PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

St Saviour

£1,250,000 A-J

St Saviour

5 BEDROOM

6 BEDROOM

A long awaited development is on the market for the first time in 50 years. The property is situated in the most idyllic setting on a quiet road in St Saviour down a long private driveway.

St Lawrence

£650,000 A-J

Situated in Park Estate away from main stream and at the end of a private drive this stunning 3 bedroom bungalow, finished to exceptional standard and offering a home that’s flows and is low maintenance.

St Saviour

St Ouen

£495,000 A-J

A deceptively spacious, detached three bedroom family house nestled in the quiet close of Claremont Avenue. It is within easy reach of all the major town schools and on a regular bus route.

St Lawrence

3 BEDROOM

Beautifully presented family home set in the very heart of St Ouen rural country side, yet close to local restaurants and beach.

St Saviour

£455,000 A-J

St Helier

£385,000 A-H

3 BEDROOM

Without a doubt a Pristine 3 double bedroom 2 bathroom apartment with 2 secure parking spaces balcony and views now on offer to First Time Buyers and a fantastic starter home

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£479,000 A-J

2 BEDROOM

Perfect starter home set on a private setting away from main stream traffic yet close to all amenities. This divine house offers space and natural light throughout with SF garden and stunning views over to St Aubin.

St Helier

4 BEDROOM

Situated on the outskirts of Town, this absolutely stunning house has been transformed by the vendors to create a home full of warmth, space, style and comfort.

£620,000 A-J

3 BEDROOM

3 BEDROOM

A large detached home with 3 large double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, separate dining room, large lounge, a garage with additional parking, good size garden.

£850,000 A-J

£445,000 A-J

4 BEDROOM

A stunning Victorian house situated in St Helier, with a self-contained flat that could be used as a 2-generation home or rented for extra income.

St Brelade

£300,000 A-H

1 BEDROOM

Superb location this immaculate one double bedroom apartment in much sought after location St Aubin close to beach, harbour of St Aubin and backing on to the railway walk.

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

01534 481894 07797 776508

pat@lyonsestates.co.uk www.lyonsestates.co.uk £819,000 A-J

Grouville

4 BEDROOM

Gorey Links Estate, Granite Fronted Detached Chocolate Box House.

Situated the glorious Parish of Gorey, St Martin in Links Estates Close to Golf course the wonderful granite fronted detached 4 bedroom house this is presently in walk in condition and filled with natural light throughout. Light bright and airy and offering study, cloakroom large lounge, kitchen separate utility, 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms dressing room garage and ample forecourt parking. Lawn garden to the rear The house overlooks woodland Situated just a few minutes from the Gorey Village which is in the parish of St Martin and Grouville which is on the East Coast of Jersey.

Gorey Harbour is one of the thee main harbours of the Island. Close by is Mont Orgueil a castle which is located overlooking the harbour of Gorey. It is also called Gorey Castle by English-speakers, and lé Vièr Châté (the Old Castle) by Jèrriais-speakers. The site had been fortified in the prehistoric period, but the construction of the castle was undertaken following the division of the Duchy of Normandy in 1204. In addition to all this you do have the wonderful restaurants, shops and beaches and schools close by. A real opportunity to own a home in a sought after parish.

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

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PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

prestigeproperties

Green Road Corner, St Clement, Jersey, JE2 6QA

01534 879999 sales@prestige.je or rentals@prestige.je

Patier Lane, St Saviour | £3,333 PCM

Pontorson Lane, St Clement | £2,800 PCM

Luxury family home Five bedrooms, 3 bathrooms ■■ Double garage plus parking ■■ Safe enclosed garden ■■ Stunning master bedroom ■■ A-H or J cat

■■

Rue Des Chataigners, St John | £2,100 PCM

Three Oaks Farm, St Lawrence | £1,800 PCM

Detached 5 bedroom Family House ■■ Three bathrooms and cloak room ■■ Spacious living room ■■ Gorgeous live-in modern kitchen ■■ Separate Utility room ■■ Garage and parking ■■ Unfurnished house ■■ Stunning interiors

■■ ■■

Spacious granite family home ■■ Four-five bedrooms ■■ Sea and country views ■■ Rural location ■■ Ample parking

A-J Or Non Quals Three bedrooms ■■ Unfurnished house ■■ Good decorative order ■■ Two parking spaces + visitors

■■

■■ ■■

The Dunes, Greve D’Azette | £1,700 PCM

South Beach, Greve D’Azette | £1,600 PCM

■■

Sea front penthouse apartment ■■ 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms ■■ Electrically operated double garage ■■ Balcony with sea views ■■ A-J ■■ Available immediately

■■

Chez Lamy, La Route De L’Etacq | £1,590 PCM

La Grande Route De Faldouet, St Martin | £1,350 PCM

Available as “Non Quals” let ■■ Stunning sea views ■■ Furnished flat ■■ Two bedrooms ■■ Rural location ■■

2 bedroom, 2 bathrooms ■■ Fantastic sea views ■■ Large south facing balcony ■■ Available furnished or unfurnished ■■ Covered parking for 2 vehicles ■■ A-J

A-H cat Unfurnished ■■ One/ two bedrooms ■■ Newly built cottage ■■ Parking for two vehicles.

■■ Low Energy House ■■ ■■

www.prestige.je 98

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jane and her team wish you a Happy Christmas & New Year and hope you will join us in welcoming our newest member “Muffin” who Jane found abandoned in Corfu this Autumn. Muffin barely two weeks old at the time, captured Jane’s heart and will be making his road journey to his new home in Jersey this January. All thanks to the wonderful help from Cheryl at Care Corfu (www.carecorfu.com).

L’Hermitage Farm Country Apartments | £1,300 PCM

Patriotic Street, St Helier | £1,150 PCM

Attractive 2 bed granite cottage ■■ Quality fittings throughout ■■ Panoramic sea and rural views ■■ Parking for two vehicles.

■■ Adjacent to open fields ■■ Walk to work

■■

Marret Road, St Helier | £2,500 PCM

Old Forge Lane, Grouville | £2,500 PCM

■■

Brand New Development ■■ Range of 4 & 5 bedroom homes ■■ Finished to the highest standard ■■ Bedrooms with luxury en-suite bathrooms ■■ Patio & lawned gardens ■■

Unfurnished flat Excellent decorative order ■■ Two bedrooms ■■ Fabulous outskirts location ■■ Negotiable Lease ■■ Undercover parking + store ■■ A-J cat ■■

Large family home Well maintained ■■ 4 bedroom ■■ Large rear garden ■■ Garage and parking ■■ Situated on a quiet close ■■ ■■

www.prestige.je See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

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PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

01534 710710

info@redproperties.je 8 Esplanade. St Helier. www.redproperties.je

La Verte Rue, St Ouen £2,250,000 | A-K | FREEHOLD Set in a very private location on the St Peter/ St Ouen border, this stunning and imposing detached property has to be viewed to be appreciated.

The ground floor is ideal for people who like to entertain a theme which continues outside where there are substantial surrounding gardens, undercover barbecue facilities, a tiled swimming pool, and a full size tennis court. In absolute walk in condition throughout the spacious accommodation has been extensively refurbished and EARLY VIEWING IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Situated in a fantastic, quiet location close to the villages of both St Peter’s and St Ouen’s, Val de la Mare reservoir, many green lane country walks and St Ouen’s bay. A sensibly priced, perfect family home!

Red868

Parcq de L’Oeilliere, St Brelade £1,750,000 | A-J | FREEHOLD This very spacious detached bungalow enjoys the finest views of St Ouen’s Bay one could imagine. Looking out from all the principle rooms you benefit from uninterrupted views down to La Rocco Tower and over towards L’Etacq. The very spacious accommodation is presently utilised as a three bedroom home but could easily be remodelled / extended subject to P & E permissions, satisfying your individual requirements. Peacefully located at the end of an exclusive residential close of similar substantial homes. This property stands on a large site with ample parking and surrounding gardens. Genuinely a once in a lifetime opportunity to create your dream home with views that take your breath away! Phone us for an early appointment to view. SOLE SELLING AGENT.

Red834

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Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Fountain Lane, St Saviour £1,600,000 | A-J | FREEHOLD This detached 4 double bedroom house has far reaching views over St Clement with an adjoining field to the West of the property and a large mature garden laid to lawn to the east. Comprising of 3 spacious reception rooms, 2 sunrooms, 4 double bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. In excellent order throughout, there is also a double garage and ample parking in the driveway through the electric gates. Situated in a prime, convenient location within close proximity of the main schools, beach, local amenities and St Helier. There is scope to further extend the property, subject to P+E permissions, should you require. Red properties are delighted to be the owners chosen ‘sole agents’. Viewing this property is a must!

Red848

Elizabeth Avenue, St Brelade £1,375,000 | A-J | FREEHOLD This substantial, detached 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom bungalow occupies a very good sized plot within a sought after, exclusive residential close. Situated close to the shops at Red Houses, sporting facilities of Les Quennevais plus the surrounding beaches, golf course and railway walk. This property is a perfect 2 generation home with the added bonus of a detached one bedroom cottage and there are also current plans to extend into the loft to create what would be a superb master bedroom suite and also extend the lounge which would be a fantastic reception room. Recently modernised internally, there is still scope to add your own identity to the property and all of the rooms are very well proportioned. Most uniquely there is also an underground German bunker with many of the original features, presently utilised as a bar/TV room. Also benefitting from a large double garage plus ample further parking for 15+ cars there are also substantial recently redesigned surrounding patios and gardens.

Red849

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com

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PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Troys would like to wish all our friends & customers a Happy Christmas & Prosperous New Year.

IMMACULATE FAMILY HOME – 4 BED £845,000 • A-J • St Brelade

REF: 2602

NEW DEVELOPMENT – 3 BED £585,000 • 11K • St Saviour

REF: 1696

FAMILY HOME – 3 BED £537,000 • A-J • St Helier

REF: 2412

Private driveway, contemporary finish, stunning eat-in kitchen, top spec

High spec, large open plan kitchen/ sitting room, walking distance to town

Very quite location, good size reception, sun lounge/conservatory, new eat in kitchen

STUNNING PROPERTY – 2 BED £475,000 • A-H • St Helier

AFFORDABLE FAMILY HOME – 3 BED £400,000 • A-J • St Saviour

LARGE TOWN HOUSE – 4 BED £370,000 • A-J • St Helier

REF: 2648 Open plan living, state of the art kitchen, high spec, private patio garden

REF: 2750 Ideal location, private estate, superbly proportioned, garden, ample parking

REF: 2754 Located in a quite street, 2 good receptions, large kitchen, large courtyard

LARGE SITE PLANS PASSED – 0 BED £1,250,000 • A-J • St Peter

REF: 2137

This is a fantastic opportunity to purchase an approved building site, to build one of the finest homes in jersey of over 5,000 sq foot with stunning swimming pool and the most amazing Views over St Ouen’s bay from Corbiere to L’Etacq. Sitting in a Raised location it basically comprises of four spacious bedroom suites on the ground floor and all living space on first floor To take full advantage of the views, floor to ceiling glazing Will give the feeling of light and space to the rear there is also plans for a large one bedroom apartment and double garage.

COUNTRY LOCATION – 5 BED £1,150,000 • A-J • St Lawrence

REF: 2739

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With a date stone of 1865 this traditional spacious former Jersey Farm house offers so much. Internally you have 3 reception rooms, functional fireplaces, kitchen breakfast room, utility room, sauna, shower pool room, master ensuite and a further 4 double bedrooms, house bathroom, 2 shower rooms and roof space offers a large attic. Externally there is ½ vergee south facing lawn garden with established trees offering all day sunshine and privacy, heated swimming pool, garaging and ample parking.

Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Troys Property 23 Seale Street, St Helier, Jersey, JE2 3QG Tel: 01534 734488 Fax: 01534 759852 sales@troysjersey.com www.troysjersey.com

SPACIOUS DUPLEX APT – 3 BED £320,000 • A-H • St Helier

REF: 2742

SPACIOUS APT – 2 BED £280,000 • A-H • St Brelade

APT WITH PARKING – 1 BED £215,000 • A-H • St Helier

REF: 2732

REF: 1449

Well presented throughout, ideal location, large living area, parking

Large living room, recently fitted kitchen, country views, 2 parking spaces

Ground floor apt, communal gardens, 1 parking + visitor, great 1st time buy

1 BED APT – 1 BED £215,000 • A-H • St Helier

IDEA FIRST HOME – 1 BED £199,000 • A-H • St Helier

SPECTRUM APT – 1 BED £150,000 • A-H • St Helier

REF: 2721 Great location, ground floor, well proportioned, walk in condition

REF: 2691 Ideal location, large rooms, walk in condition, ideal buy to let

REF: 2658 Great value, top floor, bright open plan kitchen/diner, balcony

CONTEMPORARY TOWN HOUSE – 3 BED £599,000 • A-J • St Saviour

REF: 489

This is a stunning contemporary house with three double bedrooms and three en-suite plus cloakroom. Constructed only three years ago, has fantastic design features including curved panoramic windows and three modern balconies. High quality finishing throughout, with large bi-fold doors from the lounge leading to a safe enclosed West facing garden. Underground secure parking for three cars plus visitor parking through private electric gates.

Viewing a must!

DETACHED FAMILY HOME – 3 BED £530,000 • A-H • St Helier On the market for the 1st time in almost 30 years, this lovely spacious three bedroom detached house has a lot to offer including a large lounge diner, new fitted kitchen with Bosch appliances, three bedrooms, one with a Jack and Jill bathroom and a large sunny south facing patio garden. There is a garage and additional parking for 2 cars.

Situated next to St Andrew’s Park, it has the benefits of having the best bus route and close to all amenities and the beach.

REF: 2665

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com 103

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Happy Christmas from CALL US!

625569

sales@crespel.co.uk

07797 719146

MOBILE FAX: 01534 734033

Find us on Facebook, simply search for 'Crespel Properties'

A superb brand new home at L’Etacq.

The property comprises; three ensuite bedrooms, two large receptions plus a large study, superb kitchen/diner with integrated appliances and granite work surfaces carport and terrace with views of the bay St Ouen, A-J Category.

Freehold. Ref: 972.

A superbly maintained family home on a large plot in St. Lawrence. The property would be ideal for a growing family. From the first floor there are distant views of St. Aubin’s Bay. St Lawrence, A-J Category.

Freehold. Ref: 1044.

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Stunning New Build Granite Cottage A brand new granite cottage in a fantastic location on a private drive not far from the amenities at Beaumont. The cottage will be completed by Christmas 2011.

St Helier, A-H Category.

Freehold. Ref: 1043.

£630,000

3

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A well maintained family home in a quiet location overlooking St. Aubin’s Bay. 2 bed main house and an adjoining 2 bed unit.

Outside there is a large integral garage, parking for three cars, and mature garden St Helier, A-J Category.

Freehold. Ref: 1022.

£775,000

£820,000

4

Large Family Home with Stunning Views

Offers Invited

Substantial Detached Family Home

3

£675,000

3

3

3

4

3

Three Bedroom Detached House

Spacious Ground Floor Apartment

£450,000

£202,000

A detached three bedroom house in a quiet location just a few moments walk from the beach, local school and shops. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, large kitchen/diner, secure garden and parking.

St Lawrence, A-J Category.

Freehold. Ref: 1056.

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A spacious ground floor apartment located within a very well maintained block on the outskirts of St. Helier. The property includes; double bedroom, living room, eat-in kitchen and bathroom.

St Helier, A-H Category.

Freehold. Ref: 1029.

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Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest properties on the market in Jersey.

PROPERTY

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

The Property Services Directory Compiled by Mark Bradbury, sales@jerseyweekly.com

Jersey Powdercoating We can powdercoat any suitable material.

Lots of colours available from stock including metallic’s, textured, neon and also other special effect colours (ask for details). We can also powdercoat and plastic-coat on site with our new state of the art coating machine.

Outdoor Garden Furniture Railings Gates Gutters Wheels

Household Lights Radiators Light Switches Window Frames Chairs & Tables

Est.1979

Paul Butt, Director PO Box 764 St Helier JE4 0RP Phone: 01534 629624 Mobile: 07797 716522

• Painting & Decorating • Personal Service • Experienced • Fully Insured • Free Quotations

PMB Decorators Ltd is a long established company dealing in all aspects of the decorating trade, from internal finishes and wallcoverings to external paint finishes. We undertake domestic and commercial contracts of any size and are fully insured.

pmbdecltd@localdial.com

E-mail or call us with your requirements and we will be happy to help; with free quotes and reasonable prices.

unit 6 landes du marche st. peter je3 7ay

Phone: 01534 499868 E-mail: info@jerseypowdercoating.com www.jerseypowdercoating.com

tel:

Unit 4A, Barette Commercial Centre, La Route Du Mont Mado, St.John, JE3 4DS

I(M)R LTD.,

Fax: 865786

HAUT DE L’ORME, RUE DE HAUT DE L’ORME, TRINITY, JERSEY, JE3 5FP

Telephone: 865782

I(M)R

Telephone

633010

Washing Machine, Fridge, Freezer, Dishwasher, Vacuum etc... Broken Down?

CALL TODAY: 865782 Serving the Island for 60 years.

OFFICIAL SERVICE AGENTS FOR AGA • Bauknecht • Britannia • Firenzi Ignis • ISE • Leisure • Maxmatic • Phillips Prima • Range • Sanyo • Smeg Stuart Turner • Tweeny • Whirlpool

ALL MAJOR BRANDS REPAIRED

Just £10!

Oven Repairs & Valet

Jersey’s Longest serving domestic appliance repairers

For friendly advice and prompt service.

484141

www.channelblinds.com

Mobile

07797 740855

JPM IRONWORKS B E S P O K E M I L D A N D S TA I N L E S S S T E E L FA B R I C AT I O N S

• Frameless Glass Balustrades • Stainless Steel & Glass Balustrades • Staircases • Gates and Railings • Handrails • Canopies • Coded On-site Welding ...and much more!!!

including: AEG • Ariston • Bavmatic Belling • Bosch • Creda • Electrolux Gaggemau • Hotpoint • Indesit • Miele NEFF • Scholtes • Siemens • Stoves Teka • Tricity • Zanussi Approved Repairers for Domestic & General.

Also Commercial Appliances, Pumps, Motor repairs catered for along with a large stock of bearings, spares and accesories.

Fully Insured Free Estimates Competitive Prices Quality Assurance Full Auto-CAD Design Service

07700331586

jpmironworks@jerseymail.co.uk www.jpmironworks.co.uk Frenchmans Unit, Herupe Farm, Rue Du Boullon, St.John, JE3 4YE

Just £20!

You will find us opposite the Union Inn, Queen’s Road.

DON’T DELAY, CALL TODAY!

See all properties for-sale and to-let updated all-day every-day online…

www.jerseyweekly.com 105

FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Gifts & Gadgets Compiled by Jason Bourgeois, news@jerseyweekly.com

Celebrating the Holidays!

Whiskey Stones

Gold Cuvee

£12.59 www.firebox.com

FROM £12.99 www.monsterstuff.com

A slurp of good whisky conjures images of rugged, windswept landscapes, rich earthy ingredients, and centuries-old craftsmanship (depending on how much you’ve had). But drop a couple of ice cubes into the mix and all that heady imagery becomes... well, a bit weak.

Drinking wine is fine. Drinking bubbly is lovely. Drinking bubbly with bits of gold in it is utterly decadent (listen, we’re not made of rhymes). But tough times call for ludicrous behaviour. Just ask the nearest banker. Actually don’t bother because our luxurious Sparkling Gold Cuvée is head-scratchingly affordable.

Little Devil Bloody Mary Spice Mix ‘The Daddy’ Wine Puzzle

£8.99 www.monsterstuff.com Elevating a Bloody Mary into the realms of spicy deliciousness involves the careful mixing of several key ingredients. But who can be bothered with all that tomfoolery, especially with a hangover. No, what you need is a barrel of Little Devil Bloody Mary Spice Mix.

Don’t Break the Bottle £21.49 www.geniegadgets.com Drinking wine is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Ergo, not being able to open the flippin’ bottle is one of life’s greatest frustrations. So imagine how exasperating it would be if you couldn’t even get at the actual bottle in the first place.

£24.99 www.iwoot.com Giving wine on special occasions is all well and good but in terms of inventiveness it’s right up there with socks, bath salts and book vouchers.

So wouldn’t it be good if you could buy a bottle of vino with a bit of a twist.

Well thanks to The Daddy Wine Puzzle you can do exactly that because this nifty gift comprises a bottle of top quality Merlot from the Ardeche region, encased within the jaws of a fist-bitingly annoying puzzle.

STAFF PICK Powerfuel Vodka £26.49 www.firebox.com

Ice Republic Cocktails

When it comes to great big sausages, penalty shoot outs, engineering genius, wearing lederhosen and brewing beer, our German friends truly excel. But vodka?

£9.99 www.iwoot.com Think of cocktails and you think of swaying palms, warm sunshine, the gentle lilt of tropical drums and the cack-handed barman down the Dog and Hammer messing up your Margarita. Or is that just us?

Whatever. The point is cocktails are fabulous, but making decent ones can be rather tricky. Not any more because Ice Republic Cocktails are here to save the day.

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We had no idea. Until we tasted Powerfuel Vodka. Ooh, ja!

Deliciously different, this high quality 40% vodka is available in four unique flavours: blackberry, melon-mint, gingercoriander and espresso.

But if you think that’s refreshing, wait until you see the über stylish stainless steel containers into which this potent brew is poured.

Your weekly full-colour guide to local news, events and entertainment.

MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Motoring Search over 700 vehicles for-sale in Jersey from 22 local motor dealers at JerseyWeekly.com/vehicles

BRIAN VALOIS CARS Contact us with your requirements for a more personal service in finding your ideal car

07797 747578

brianvaloiscars@yahoo.co.uk

RENAULT CLIO SPORT 1.2

FIAT PUNTO 1.2

MAZDA 323 1.6 GSI

Manual, 3 Door, Remote Central Locking, EC Front Windows, MP3 Compatible, CD, 16” Oz Racing Alloys, Sports Body Kit

Active Sport, Manual Transmission, Three Door

Automatic, 5 Door, Hatch, Electric Windows, AC, Radio/Cassette Remote Central Locking, Sunroof

2000

£1,995

2005

£3,995

2002

£2,995

KIA CARENS GSX 1.8

SEAT CORDOBA S 1.4

SUZUKI GRAND VITARA 1.6

Manual, 5 Door, 44,680 Miles, 14” Alloys, EC Windows

16v, Manual, AC, 4 Door, Saloon, CD, EC Windows, Central Locking

Convertible, Manual, 3 Door, 4x4, SUV, CD, 16” Alloys, Central Locking

2001

£2,750

2003

£2,995

2005

£5,995

£££ CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH £££ Please see www.jerseyweekly.com for our full range of stock See all vehicles in-stock updated all-day every-day online…

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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MOTORING

Your weekly full-colour guide to motoring in Jersey.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

MOTORING

THE ALL NEW VW TOUAREG is here. Featuring a choice of petrol, diesel or hybrid with an 8-speed automatic, and a sophisticated all-wheel-drive system designed to handle true off-road use or improve stability on ice. The 2011 Touareg can tackle the most rugged of terrain yet cruise in luxurious comfort, and Volkswagen claims it’s one of the safest automobiles of all time.

A new hybrid petrol-electric version headlines the 2011 Touareg lineup. The 2011 Touareg V6 TSI Hybrid is the most powerful and the most expensive. The Hybrid couples a supercharged 3.0-litre V6 TSI engine to an electric motor to give the Touareg an effective 380 horsepower, with an estimated 20/24 mpg city/motorway.

Least expensive and, in our view, most fun to drive is the Touareg VR6 FSI Sport, which uses a 280-hp V6 engine. The Touareg V6 TDI Clean Diesel features a turbocharged 3.0-litre diesel with 225 horsepower.

The 2011 Touareg may not look much different from the 2010 version because the styling revisions are subtle, but it has in fact been completely redesigned. The 2011 Touareg marks the beginning of the second generation. Compared to its predecessor, the 2011 Touareg is wider and has a shorter overall height, giving it a stronger presence. A longer wheelbase provides greater stability, while a greater overall length allows more room inside. The use of new materials and other adjustments have removed nearly 200 kilos from the vehicle.

There’s little by way of visual cues to distinguish the 2011 Touareg from its predecessor. A few styling lines are more rounded. Some deeper sculpting softens the side doors’ expanses of sheet metal.

The tailgate has a wider number plate recess. But viewed from almost any angle, the 2011 Touareg looks like a Touareg. This isn’t to complain. Overall, the Touareg, for 2011 as well as previous generations, is properly proportioned, with commendably minimal, non-functional cosmetics.

We found the 2011 Touareg comfortable and competent under load. The Touareg Sport is the most fun to drive of the four, with responsive turn-in and good balance through energetic direction changes, all whilst tempering a driver’s enthusiasm with clear reminders the Touareg is, after all, an 4x4 weighing in at around two and one half tons.

The 2011 Touaregs give VW a full range of options in the 4x4 market, from the traditional to the green. The Lux and Executive trim levels are the most plush, featuring textures and accents that people look for when trying to define luxury.

See all vehicles in-stock updated all-day every-day online…

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MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

La Moye. St Brelade. Jersey JE3 8LN

Tel: 01534 490046 Fax: 01534 743240 See all our stock updated daily at www.jerseyweekly.com Some images may be used for illustration purposes. Please contact us for full details, specifications and to arrange a no-obligation test drive.

FORD TRANSIT CONNECT 2007

VW TIGUAN TDI SE 140 2008

£6,995

£14,995

JAGUAR XK 4.2 V8 2006

£22,995

FORD FOCUS TDCI ZETEC 2004

£3,995

Low Miles, FSH

One Owner, FSH, Immaculate

12k Miles, FSH, Fully Loaded

CD, AC, Turbo Diesel, FSH

CITROEN BERLINGO 2005

LAND ROVER DISCOVERY 3 2007

BMW 325I SE 2008

BMW K1200S 2006

£3,995

£22,995

£14,995

£5,995

VGC, Diesel, Economy

One Owner, FSH, 7 Seats, Auto

Manual, CD, AC, Climate

FORD FOCUS 1.6 ZETEC 2009

BMW Z3 1.9 1999

YAMAHA XTX660 2005

£7,995

£4,995

£2,995

VOLVO C30 2.4 2007

£9,995

Automatic, AC, CD, FSH

37k Miles, FSH

One Owner, FSH

Auto, Coupe, FSH, CD, AC

BMW F800GS 2011

FIAT 500 PINK 2010

FIESTA ZETEC 1.4 DCI 2007

TOYOTA MR2 SPECIAL 2002

£5,995

£10,995

£5,495

£3,995

As New, Top Box, Heated Grip

Immaculate Example

Turbo Diesel, AC, CD

Cabriolet, Low Miles, Body Kit

PORSCHE BOXSTER S 2004

RENAULT SCIENCE 2005

S TYPE JAGUAR 2000

HONDA CR-V SPORT 2005

£13,995 3.2 Tiptronic, CD, AC, Auto

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£4,995 Low Mileage, FSH, CD, AC

£4,995

£7,995

30ltr, Lux, Low Miles, 2 Owners

CD, AC, Manual, 4x4

Your weekly full-colour guide to motoring in Jersey.

MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Derek Warwick

Honda CR-V ES

OVER 100 USED CARS IN STOCK ALL FULLY SERVICED MINIMUM OF 2 YEARS WARRANTY

CAR OF THE WEEK!

www.derekwarwick.com

2008 • £15,995

Honda CR-V EX

Honda CR-V EX

Honda CR-V EX

2008 • £19,995

2008 • £19,995

2008 • £20,995

Nissan Qashqai

Volkswagen Touareg

Honda CR-V EX

2008 • £13,995

2007 • £19,995

2008 • £20,995

Honda CR-V Sport

Toyota Rav4

Honda CR-V EX

2004 • £7,995

2004 • £8,995

2008 • £18,995

Longueville Road, St. Saviour, Jersey, JE2 7WF tel: 758881 email: info@derekwarwick.com See all vehicles in-stock updated all-day every-day online…

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MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

BAGOT ROAD GARAGE RENAULT DEALER www.dealer.renault.co.uk/bagot-road-jersey

National winner of Dealer of Excellence 2008

T: 01534 815120 BAGOT ROAD, ST SAVIOUR, JE1 1BP

RENAULT MEGANE DYNAMIQUE Manual, 4 Door Saloon

RENAULT KOLEOS DYNAMIQUE S 2.0 DCI Manual, 4x4 Crossover, Reduced from £16,995

PORSCHE BOXSTER 2.7 CONVERTIBLE

RENAULT MEGANE PRIVILEGE TCE

RENAULT MEGANE COUPE PRIVILEGE 2.0

Sensors, 18” Alloys, Leather, EC Windows

Manual, 3 Door, Coupe, only 6,500 miles

Sports Chassis, Handsfree Keycard, Cruise & more..

2006 • JUST £5,495

2010 • JUST £15,995

2006 • JUST £18,495

2009 • ONLY £11,995

2009 • ONLY £12,995

RENAULT LAGUNA DYNAMIQUE 2.0 Manual, 5 Door, 16v, Hatch

RENAULT MEGANE DYNAMIQUE 1.5 Ex-Demo 5 Door Hatch

HONDA CIVIC ES 1.8 Manual, 5 Door Hatch

RENAULT SCENIC DYNAMIQUE 1.6 VVT, 111 Automatic, 5 Door, MPV

RENAULT GRAND MODUS DYNAMIQUE 1.2, TCE, 100, 5 Door, Compact MPV

2008 • JUST £9,495

2008 • JUST £9,995

2007 • JUST £7,995

2008 • JUST £7,995

2008 • JUST £7,995

RENAULT SCENIC TOMTOM

RENAULT GRAND SCENIC PRIVILEGE 2.0 DCI

RENAULT MEGANE COUPE DYNAMIQUE

VOLVO V50 S 2.0

HONDA CIVIC EXECUTIVE 1.8

1.6 VVT, Manual, 5 Door, MPV, Petrol, 5000 Miles

150BHP, Diesel, 6CD Handsfree Keycard

Cabriolet, Manual, 3 Door

Manual, Diesel, 5 Door Estate

Manual, 5 Door Hatch

2010 • JUST £12,995

2007 • JUST £8,495

2008 • ONLY £7,995

2006 • JUST £9,995

2007 • ONLY £9,495

SUZUKI GRAND VITARA SZ5 4x4, 2.4, Auto, 5 Door, SUV

MINI COOPER S CHILLI 1.6 TURBO 17” Alloys, Electric Windows, Manual

RENAULT MODUS DYNAMIQUE 1.6 Automatic, 5 Door Compact

RENAULT GRAND SCENIC DYNAMIQUE 1.4 TCE

RENAULT KANGOO CAR EXPRESSION 1.6

Alloys, Sensors, Cruise Control, Auto-Lights

2 Sliding Doors, CD, Underfloor Storage

2009 • JUST £12,995

2007 • JUST £11,495

2009 • JUST £7,995

2010 • JUST £12,995

2011 • JUST £10,995

FOR DECEMBER ONLY, FOR ANY USED CAR PURCHASED YOU WILL RECEIVE A LUXURY LA MARE VINEYARDS PREMIER HAMPER OR AN APPLE IPAD 2 www.dealer.renault.co.uk/bagot-road-jersey

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Your weekly full-colour guide to motoring in Jersey.

MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

THE AWARD-WINNING RENAULTSPORT RANGE WITH VA VA VOOM AS STANDARD

Twingo Renaultsport 133 Cup

£11,030

• Cup chassis (lower riding height, stiffer springs and dampers) • 17" Renaultsport anthracite wheels • Renaultsport front seats

3 years servicing for £249*

Clio Renaultsport 200 Cup

£15,095

• Cup chassis (lower riding height/ stiffer springs and dampers) • Renaultsport 17" anthracite alloy wheels • Red painted Brembo brake calipers

3 years servicing for £249*

Mégane Coupé Renaultsport 250 Cup

£21,299

• 18" satin black alloy wheels • Cup chassis (stiffer springs/dampers and anti-roll bar) • Renaultsport PerfoHub double-axis front suspension 3 years servicing for £249*

0%

Finance available

• 36 months with no deposit • 48 months with 20% deposit • 60 months with 20% deposit

The official fuel consumption figures in mpg (l/100km) for the range shown are: Urban 31.4-24.8 (9.0-11.5), Extra Urban 50.4-44.1 (5.6-6.7), Combined 42.2-34.0 (6.7-8.4). The official CO2 emission figures for the range are 155-195g/km. *Service offer

covers vehicles for 3 years or 30,000 miles (whichever comes first) and is available at the point of new car registration. The service offer can be transferred to another new vehicle at no extra cost. Services must be carried out in line with manufacturer’s servicing schedule and can be carried out at any Renault dealer. Service offer valid on all vehicles registered prior to 31st December 2011.

04/10/2011

See all vehicles in-stock updated all-day every-day online…

634697-7_RD_Master_297x210.pdf

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MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

U S E D

V E H I C L E S

S A L E S

C E N T R E

Merry Christmas!

Freelance Motor Group would like to thank all our customers - past, present and future for your continuing support and wish each of you and your families a very merry Christmas and all the best for 2012.

Peugot 307cc 2008

12 Month Warranty, Manual, Petrol, CD, Alloys, C. Locking

£9,995 £7,995

Citroen C3 VTR+ 2010

Audi A3 Quattro 2004 Turbo, Left Hand Drive, ABS, Alarm, CD, Sensors

Warranty, 4WD, 7 Seats, ABS, AC, Alarm, Alloys, CD

£9,495 £8,495

£8,995

£14,995 £10,995

Vauxhall Zafira 2003

BMW 318i Conv. 2003

Renault Megane Estate 2005

£4,495

£7,495

£5,995

ABS, Alarm, Alloys, CD, AC, Isofix, Immob.

12 Month Warranty, ABS, AC, Alarm, Alloys, CD

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Warranty, ABS, Alarm, CD, Immob., Power Hood.

Toyota Land Cruiser 2000

12 Month Warranty, ABS, Alarm, CD, Immobiliser

Your weekly full-colour guide to motoring in Jersey.

MOTORING

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Augres Garage, La Route de la Trinite, Trinity, JE3 5JN

Tel: (01534) 865900

www.Freelance.je

Renault Clio iMusic 2010

Citroen Berlingo 2009

Toyota Yaris 2011

ABS, AC, CD, Alarm, Immobiliser, Isofix, 5 Door

Warranty, ABS, CD, EC Windows, Immob., Load Liner

Manual, ABS, AC, Alarm, CD Player, Alloys, Isofix

£9,995 £9,495

£8,995

£10,995

Kia Rio 1.5 CRDI 2010 ABS, CD Player, Immobiliser, Remaining Mftrs. Warranty

Sportback, Technik, Manual, Warranty, ABS, AC, Alarm

Audi A3 1.6 SE 2009

Volkswagen Caddy 2010

£7,995 £6,995

£13,595 £12,995

£10,995 £9,995

Kia Sorento 2010

Range Rover Sport 2008

Vauxhall Insignia 2009

£19,995

£32,995 £28,995

£12,995

ABS, Alloys, 4WD, 7 Seats, AC, Leather, CD, Alarm, Sensors

Warranty, 4WD, ABS, AC, Alloys, Leather, SatNav, CD

See all vehicles in-stock updated all-day every-day online…

Manual, Diesel, 3 Door, 12 Month Warranty, ABS, CD

4WD, ABS, Air Con, Alarm, Alloys, Immobiliser, Leather

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RECRUITMENT

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Recruitment Search over 1,000 job vacancies from 14 local agencies updated daily at JerseyWeekly.com/jobs

01534 737701 www.citd.co.uk mail@citd.co.uk

OPEN COURSE AVAILABILITY 2011 UP COMING COURSES TAKING PLACE AT THE GRAND HOTEL JERSEY WITH TOP INTERNATIONAL TRAINING PROFESSIONALS • 22 SEPTEMBER CIPS Course - Measuring Purchasing Performance • 23 SEPTEMBER CIPS Course Intro to Contract Law for Buyers • 11 OCTOBER Introduction to Supervision • 11-12 OCTOBER Team Building for Supervisors/ Team Leaders and Junior Managers

Producing Professional Written Communication

• 15 NOVEMBER Workshop for Personal Assistants

• 20 OCTOBER Coaching and Mentoring for High Performance

• 16 NOVEMBER Attention to Detail Workshop

• 20 OCTOBER Stress Management • 21 OCTOBER Confidence Coaching at Work • 21 OCTOBER Managing Conflict at Work

• 12 OCTOBER Getting the best from your team

• 02 NOVEMBER Social Media Marketing

• 13 OCTOBER Time Management

• 08 NOVEMBER Assertiveness and Advanced Communication Skills

• 18 OCTOBER Producing Professional Minutes Workshop • 18 OCTOBER Effective Report Writing • 19 OCTOBER

• 10 NOVEMBER Developing your Sales Experience • 11 NOVEMBER Developing your Potential / Personal Effectiveness

• 24 NOVEMBER Making Presentations • 25 NOVEMBER Project Management • 28 NOVEMBER Interviewing Skills • 29 NOVEMBER Advanced Supervision • 30 NOVEMBER Exceptional Customer Service and Telephone Skills • 01-02 DECEMBER Train The Trainer • 06 DECEMBER Digital Marketing and Digital Footprint Management

T h e a bov e c o ur s e s a r e t akin g plac e at T h e G ran d Je rse y Park Suite s and includ e a ho t b uf f e t l unch eon an d t ea/c offee an d c ake s thro ugho ut the d ay.

F or m or e i nf o r m a t i o n or t o book a c ou rse please email mail@citd. co. uk o r te le p ho ne 737701

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Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest vacancies in Jersey.

RECRUITMENT

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Appointments & Achievements Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Ogier Appoint Sarah Fitz As New Chairman

Ogier has appointed Sarah Fitz as Chairman of the Ogier Group from 1st February 2012.

Sarah will be the only female chairman of an international legal and fiduciary firm.

Services Commission, Chairman of Hawksford International, Chairman of the States of Jersey Treasury Investment Committee, Chairman of the Jersey International Business School and is also a member of the Jersey Financial Services Advisory Board. His knowledge and experience will be invaluable to the Board as we continue our journey as a leading offshore bank.”

DCG makes real estate and compliance appointments

DCG, a leading provider of corporate services, has made two new appointments to strengthen its real estate and compliance teams.

Andrew McNulty has been appointed senior manager in DCG Real Estate. In his new role, he will manage a team of eight administrators who oversee real estate structures with a value of more than £6 billion.

Sarah is replacing current chairman, Clive Chaplin who is retiring on 31st January 2012. Sarah joined Ogier in 1987 and is the head of the Ogier Personal Law Group. She specialises in criminal and family matters and undertakes prosecutions on behalf of the Crown.

Commenting on Sarah’s appointment, Nick Kershaw, Ogier group chief executive officer, said: “It is a real pleasure to

announce that Sarah Fitz will become our new chairman when Clive Chaplin retires. During Clive’s tenure we have seen dynamic growth and been the f irst offshore f irm to open an off ice in mainland China and I would like to thank him for his invaluable contribution to the f irm. Sarah is a key member of the partnership, I know that we will continue to go from strength to strength with her help and guidance and I look forward to working with her.”

RBS International Limited – Board Appointment The Royal Bank of Scotland Limited (RBS International) announces today that Philip Taylor has been appointed as a Non-executive Director of RBS International with effect from 1 February 2012.

Commenting on the Board appointment Michael Morley, Chairman of RBS International, said:

“I am delighted that Philip Taylor has agreed to join our Board.

Philip has a deep understanding of both the international and local f inancial markets having been Senior Partner with PricewaterhouseCoopers CI (PWC) and their Global Leader of Quality Assurance. We are also fortunate that he brings with him a wealth of experience having, since retirement from PWC, served as a Commissioner of the Jersey Financial

Andrew, who has more than 10 years’ experience in the property market and is a member of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors, is also a director on a number of Jersey companies with exposure to commercial real estate in the UK. Paul Martlew has been appointed compliance manager where his role includes monitoring and reporting on internal procedures and regulation across DCG’s three business units, Corporate Services and Capital Markets, Real Estate and Fund Services, as well as internal audit for DCG’s Luxembourg office. Paul joined DCG in 2009 as assistant compliance manager and has over 8 years’ experience in compliance, including the prevention of money laundering and combating the financing of terrorism.

Paul holds the International Diploma in Compliance and the International diploma in Anti-Money Laundering and is currently studying for a BSc (Hons) Degree in Management with Compliance. He is a Fellow of the International Compliance Association and a Member of the Jersey Compliance Officers Association.

Sue Fossey, Managing Director of DCG Corporate Services, commented: “These appointments illustrate the important roles

which Andrew and Paul play in leading their respective teams and DCG’s commitment to developing and recognising expertise.”

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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Your weekly full-colour guide to the latest vacancies in Jersey.

RECRUITMENT

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Suite 9, The Palladium, 4 Wharf Street, St Helier, JE2 3NR tel: 01534 742228 mob: 07797 742228 email: andre@adrjersey.co.uk

www.adeeksrecruitment.co.uk Professional recruiters for professional people SENIOR TRUST ADMINISTRATOR

Our client is now seeking to recruit an experience Senior Trust Administrator to administer a portfolio of varied client structures.

The ideal candidate would have a minimum of 3 years Trust & Company experience, hold a Trust qualification and enjoy a role that involves client an intermediary contact Ref 3371

COMPLIANCE OFFICER

We are urgently seeking someone with a good track record (4+ yrs) in the TRUST sector, with a minimum 3 yrs Compliance experience. The ideal candidate should hold ICA Diploma or similar Compliance qualification; STEP Foundation Diploma (at least) would also be very helpful. Duties and responsibilities: Compliance monitoring and risk management (this will probably be the most important part of the role); new business acceptance and Client Due Diligence management; Anti Money Laundering related work (may include some training); maintenance of registers and other admin Ref 3249

FUND ACCOUNTANT Purpose of Role: To develop, maintain and enhance corporate client financial reporting and to deliver a quality administration service to clients.

Key Responsibilities: • Development of corporate client financial reporting and accounts preparation within client expectations and regulatory deadlines; • Private Equity Fund administration; • Debtor control and budgetary control within area of responsibility; • Liaise with clients, advisors and auditors; • Involvement in business planning and budget setting; • Agree targets and standards towards achieving company objectives; • Monitor client service standards; • Assist in the business development of the Institutional Fiduciary Services department.

Ref 3418

EBT/CORPORATE SENIOR OFFICER - 9 MONTH CONTRACT We are seeking an experience Corporate or Employee Benefits Senior Trust Officer to undertake a 9 month contract from January to the end of September 2012. The ideal candidate will provide administration for high net worth corporate cases, maintaining relationships as required, providing a superior quality service. A minimum of three years relevant institutional fiduciary services experience hold or be studying for a relevant professional qualification Ref 3419

RELATIONSHIP MANAGER - PENSIONS SPECIALIST

This is a role of an Relationship Manager that is a specialist in Pensions and will be qualified to the relevant standard.

Your technical and sales ability will be crucial to the delivery of stretching new business targets. You should have strong relationship skills and excellent regulatory knowledge. You will need to adhere to best advice and internal working practices and processes, meeting regulatory and compliance requirements in accordance with business objectives. The successful candidate should have a notable experience working in the finance industry and hold recognised investment advice qualifications. You should be qualified to level 4 (Diploma) standards and hold advanced pension qualifications (G60 or AF3). You must have a good understanding of financial instruments. Ideally you should have some experience and/or understanding of offshore and international client needs though appropriate offshore training will be provided where necessary.

Ref 3395

GROUP FINANCE DIRECTOR The Group Finance Director’s role is to direct and oversee all of the financial activities and to provide sound financial guidance to management and the Boards.

• Qualified Accountant (ACA or ACCA qualified) with 8 or more years PQE; • Experience of leading a team across multiple jurisdictions and time zones; • Commercially astute, strategic thinker with sound judgement.

Excellent analytical,communication and influencing skills; • Energetic, decisive, team player with strong general management and leadership skills. Engaged by and committed to our core values; and • Effective time management skills and the ability to prioritise conflicting demands from within the business and Group.

• Experience of working in a Partnership and understanding of the professional services sector.

The Finance team is made up of 47 individuals providing support to the Group globally.

Ref 3420

FUND ADMINISTRATOR We are looking for a Fund Administrator with at least 2 years’ relevant experience to join our Private Equity Team.

The ideal candidate will have a strong commitment to client service, an eye for detail and excellent communication and time management skills. Ideally they will have completed a professional/ relevant qualification to certificate level.

Ref 3422

For a full list of current vacancies available please check JerseyWeekly.com For a personal career assessment, please contact us in the strictest confidence, andre@adrjersey.co.uk

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Music, Theatre & Arts Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

La Motte Street Song School

The discounted children’s weekend tickets will be priced at £20, juniors’ at £58 and adults’ at £75. There will also be a limited number of VIP tickets available at £165 for the weekend. Day tickets will be available after 31st January. Discounted camping passes for the weekend will be available for £20.

The course will run between Christmas and New Year, 27th – 30th December and they would like to invite you to pop in on the final day for interviews/photos when all the participants will be recording their own songs at the La Motte Studio.

Festival organiser, Paul Stephen, hopes that people who enjoyed the festival this year have told all their friends and will consider taking up the discount by getting their tickets early.

Over the Christmas holidays La Motte Street are to repeat their highly successful Song School.

Young people aged 10-17yrs will have taken part in a four day experience to develop their talents as singer-songwriters.

“The festival was such a success this year we are confident that people will come and enjoy it again and bring more people to experience Guernsey’s largest festival.

This is the second Song School course La Motte Street have run this year and Senior Youth Worker and course director Ivor Richards said the summer holiday course been a fantastic success.

“The tickets would make an excellent Christmas present.”

“At Song School not only will young people work on the musical side of things we will also be taking them out on an ‘inspiration day’ where we will among other places be spending an afternoon at Gorey Castle.”

“After Primal Scream and Example last year we have set the bar really high and we’re going to have even more big name acts so it will be well worth getting tickets in advance,” he said.

Once again they will be working on accompaniments using participants and tutors skills and then will turn the whole four days of words, accompaniments and ideas into a professionally produced CD of original material.

The line-up announcements will not begin until the New Year when the tickets will increase in price.

Tickets are available to purchase from White Label Records.

Tickets are also available from the festival’s new look website: www. guernseyfestival.gg and JOY and YAKWAX in Guernsey.

Theology’s Boxing Day Bash Guernsey Festival ‘early bird’ @ The Splash tickets have landed December promises to be the biggest month of the year for the

Island’s clubbers, with a double bill of huge events at the Splash following a December 17th bill topped by Australian dance giants Pendulum, the Island is set for its biggest club event of the year on Boxing Day - a triple headline event featuring internationallyrenowned drum & bass/jungle DJ Shy FX, Plan B’s beatboxer Faith SFX and the 2011 UK DMC Champion, scratch DJ JFB..

Shy FX is London-based producer and DJ Andre Williams. With a career spanning two decades and 350 releases, he is truly one of dance music’s most creative and forward-thinking innovators. An early pioneer of drum & bass and jungle, he released his first record ‘Jungle Love’ in 1992. He signed to Sound of the Underground soon after and released the 90s dance anthem ‘Original Nuttah’ with UK Apache in 1994, followed by the equally anthemic ‘Bambaata’a

Tickets for the second annual Guernsey Festival went on sale in Jersey on 15th December.

The major music and cultural event will take place at The Rabbit Warren in Guernsey on 23th and 24th June and fans eager to get involved are being rewarded for buying early with discounts. The discounted tickets will be available until 31st January.

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Monday 26th December, The Watersplash, St Ouen 9.30pm - 2am Tickets: £17.50 (+ booking fee) from CAROB, WHITE LABEL RECORDS, THE SPLASH £20 on the door (subject to availability) Strictly 18+, ID Essential

Your weekly full-colour guide to sales and special offers from local businesses.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

The Jersey Opera House presented many superb performances this year including dance, comedy, children’s shows, drama, musical concerts pantomime and opera. They also underwent a major refurbishment to improve their facilities. Jersey Weekly reviews the highlights of 2011 and takes a sneak preview of what’s on in 2012.

>The Refurbishment (April - October)

>Midnight Tango (April)

The Jersey Opera House was given fiscal stimulus funding to create a new performance and rehearsal studio and a space for corporate entertainment in a previously derelict part of the building.

Vincent Simone and Flavia Cacace have dazzled television audiences for six series of the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing with their stunning Tango routines.

The refurbished facilities have been designed to support a wide range of activities including smallscale performances, youth theatre, dance and drama workshops and corporate hospitality, which the existing facility could not accommodate.

Administration offices have been renovated and the rebranding of the café OH! is already proving to be a success.

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They came to Jersey with their own live show Midnight Tango - a breathtaking evening bringing all the drama, sensuality and elegance of this most exciting of dance forms to life.

Set in a late night bar in downtown Buenos Aires and featuring some of the finest Tango dancers in the world.

Midnight Tango, took the audience on a journey into a heart of this intoxicating city.

>One Man Two Guvnors (September)

>Cirque Du Ciel (August)

This was a live screening of Richard Bean’s English version of Goldoni’s classic Italian comedy where sex, food and money were high on the agenda. James Corden returned to the National Theatre for the first time since The History Boys to play Francis. Fired from his skiffle band, Francis Henshall becomes minder to Roscoe Crabbe, a small time East End hood, now in Brighton to collect £6,000 from his fiancee’s dad. But Roscoe is really his sister Rachel posing as her own dead brother, who’s been killed by her boyfriend Stanley Stubbers.

Holed up at The Cricketers’ Arms, the permanently ravenous Francis spots the chance of an extra meal ticket and takes a second job with one Stanley Stubbers, who is hiding from the police and waiting to be re-united with Rachel. To prevent discovery, Francis must keep his two guvnors apart. Simple.

The highly awaited internationally acclaimed production of ‘Shanghai’ by Cirque Du Ciel proved to be a massive success with Jersey audiences.

‘ShangHi’ is a 2 hour extravaganza that combines acrobatics, modern dance, original music, martial arts and many other Chinese elements in an adventure the audience found amazing to believe and difficult to forget!

With superb costumes, sets and lighting, this stunning production showcases the skills of not only the performers but the world class team behind the scenes. ‘ShangHi’ is the artistic collaboration between Theatre Productions International Ltd, Chinese producers and Cirque Du Soleil KA and Dralion director, Guy Caron

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 WORDS

Rebecca Seller Bourgeois

FEATURE DESIGN Jason

The Opera House has a reputation for presenting top class entertainment. 2012 will be no different. Their new season will include music, comedy, musicals and special interest evenings plus many more. Here are a few that Jersey Weekly can’t wait to see!

>Omid Djalili (24th -25th January)

>Romeo and Juliet (10th-11th March)

Multi Award winning stand-up television and movie star, Omid Djalili is back on tour with his brand new comedy show.

The Moscow City Ballet present Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet is probably the world’s best-known love story and the ballet is set to Prokofiev’s dramatic score, a masterpiece of 20th century music.

A firm favourite at the Edinburgh Festival with his legendary performances, Omid’s stand-up awards include;

In Victor Smirnov-Golovanov’s staging, all the hustle and bustle of Renaissance Verona is brought to life in this powerful production.

’Time Out Award’ - for Best Stand Up, the ‘EMMA Award’ and was ‘South Bank Award’ nominee as well as being a ‘Perrier Award’ nominee.

The ballet follows the fate of the star-crossed teenage lovers from their first meeting to their untimely and tragic death.

>The Circus of Horrors (22nd-24th March)

>And Finally... Phil Collins (28th April)

Following on the huge success of The 4 Chapters from Hell The Circus of Horrors has had a major revamp & is back rockin’ & shockin’ with fangtastic new show The Ventriloquist.

From the creators of “Talon – The Best of Eagles” comes this brand new production for 2012.

Starring “Stars in your Eyes” grand finalist Pete Bultitude and featuring the Sussudio UK ten piece orchestra and singers. Following in the footsteps and massive box office success of “Talon – The Best of Eagles” comes “And Finally…

Phil Collins”. The brilliant vocal performance from Pete Bultitude on classic songs such as Against All Odds, Another day in Paradise and Groovy Kind of Love to name a few.

With a brilliant & awe inspiring supporting cast The Circus of Horrors features some of the greatest, most bizarre & beautiful Circus acts on earth. Where else can you see a dare devil sword swallower swallowing a lit neon tube! Where else can you see a beautiful creature hung upsidedown while a dare devil trapeze artist performs an exquisite ariel act hung solely from her partners’ hair! Where else can you see a contortionist contort her body while firing a arrow from a long bow with her feet! All this and a whole lot more.

Remember to book early for these shows to secure your seats. For more information contact the box office on 01534 511115 or visit www.jerseyoperahouse.co.uk

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jersey Arts Centre exists to foster the development and celebration of the arts Islandwide and beyond. 2011 has seen over 200 performances and has showcased some of the best talent around. A virtually impossible task Jersey Weekly has picked out a few of our favourites from 2011, we also take a look at the highlights for 2012.

One Man Band (May) Gerald Brunt Productions presented One Man Band, an off-Broadway New York musical produced in 1984 which hadn’t been performed in Great Britain.

The performance in Jersey was prior to it being performed in the West End of London. The Show

was written by three. American writers: James Lecesne, Larry Hochman and Marc Elliot, and tells the story of a mid-Western man, who sets out across America in search of his runaway wife, and the people he meets on the way, all played by the same actor.

>Craig Campbell (May) Now Internationally acclaimed, once the notorious host of Canada’s legendary Ed’s Night Party and headline guest on numerous Canadian TV shows, comedian Craig Campbell has taken the UK by storm, appearing on Russell Howard’s Good News,

with Al Murray on Edinburgh & Beyond and Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow.

Craig’s unique ability to find humour in the mundane, coupled with his own natural eccentricity, makes for truly inventive storytelling.

>Oddsocks: Macbeth (August) Nationally acclaimed and much loved theatre company Oddsocks returned in the summer.

With them they brought Shakespeare’s bloodiest of plays - Macbeth! The performance was held in the open air at Durrell.

There was spine-tingling, eyepopping and rib-tickling hilarity as the battle between good and evil took place on, in and around Oddsocks’ medieval pageant wagon.

>Exit through the Gift Shop (October) The Jersey Film Society presented many brilliant films throughout the year. This was one of our favourites. Billed as the ‘greatest history of street art movie’ ever made, this film tells the elusive Banksy’s Oscar nominated and hilarious

documentary on the arrival of a new talent on the scene. Or is it just a prank? Whichever –an entertaining hour and a half was spent trying to decide.

>The Full Monty (November) Presented by the Jersey Green Room Club and a particular hit with the ladies!

Seeing how much their wives enjoy watching male strippers during their girls’ night out, unemployed steelworkers in Buffalo, New York,

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come up with a bold way to make some quick cash.

In the process they find renewed selfesteem, the importance of friendship and the ability to have fun.

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 WORDS

Rebecca Seller Bourgeois

FEATURE DESIGN Jason

With 2012 nearly upon us and the new season brochure now finalised. We have picked out suggestions for some exciting new performances coming up early next year.

>Oddsocks: The Merry Wives of Windsor (28th Jan-1st Feb) Returning in January the nationally acclaimed Oddsocks Productions are set to bring you their latest festive treat.

a shock he’ll never forget, in return for his unwanted amorous attentions. Laughter, suprises and fun for all the family guaranteed.

So hold on to your hats as two merry wives give that lovable naughty knight, fun loving Falstaff,

>St Valentine’s Day: “Brief Encounter” (14th February) Looking for somewhere to take someone special this St Valentine’s Day? Head to the Jersey Arts Centre for a romantic dinner at Café Jac followed by a screening in the theatre of the 1940 black

and white classic Encounter”.

“A

Brief

Tickets are £30 which includes 2 course meal and 2 film tickets.

>Your Last Breath Spanning 150 years, curious directive fuse movement, live piano score and video.

Unravelling the landscapes of the heart and our own personal geographies.

A Fringe First winner at the 2011 Edinburgh Festival Fringe and developed from the curious directive residency at St James last summer.

>Andrew O’Neill (25th February) Andrew is a regular on the comedy stage at Download, has played to 5,500 people at Sonisphere and has opened for Amanda Palmer from The Dresden Dolls.

He warms up the audience for Never Mind the Buzzcocks

and has performed at comedy festivals in Adelaide and Melbourne. “So funny I put him in my new TV show” – Steve Coogan.

>Oddsocks: The Mighty Beast (1st-3rd March) This is a must see world premiere.

The cheeky chappies and lovely ladies of the renowned R.O.G.E.R Radio Company transport you to the mysterious Spoon Island.

Oddsocks create an evening of hilarious homage to the heyday of radio. Prepare for mishaps

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clangers and clever comedy as you experience Oddsocks as you have never seen them before.

Remember to book early for these shows to secure your seats.

For more information contact the box office on 01534 700444 or visit www.artscentre.je

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

ST. AUBIN’S NYE FIREWORK EXTRAVAGANZA

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE BOAT HOUSE

Fantastic fireworks display from St Aubin’s Fort organized by St Aubin’s hospitality establishments. Free for anyone celebrating and bringing in the new year in St. Aubin’s village. Fireworks start at a quarter past midnight.

Contact: Natalie Duffy - natalie@saltydogbistro.com

Sails Brasserie - Tickets for this exclusive party are £55 a head including a 4 course dinner and dance until 01:00 to DJ Nelson. The theme is ‘Dress to Impress’. Quay Bar - It will be a fun and lively affair in Quay Bar for New Years Eve. Tickets are £30 and include a 3 course dinner and DJ. There will be a party atmosphere and the all important bells at midnight. Tickets for Sails Brasserie and the Quay Bar are available from The Boat House.

Contact The Boat House 744226 enquiries@jerseyboathouse.com

THE SMUGGLERS INN - NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY Local band ‘Sergeant Pipon’ will be playing at the Smugglers Inn on New Year’s Eve. Tickets are £5 and need to be purchased from the Smugglers Inn prior to the event. Numbers are limited to 120 so get your ticket early before they all go! Ticket price includes an all you can eat buffet.

GLITTERATI GALA NEW YEARS EVE PARTY Welcome in the New Year with a fabulous evening of glamour and decadence at The Royal Yacht’s famous Glitterati Ball. Begin your evening with a glass of champagne and canapés followed by a sumptuous four course gala dinner. Live entertainment will delight as you dance the night away and welcome in 2012! Overnight Glitterati Gala Package - This includes and overnight stay in a Double Room (double occupancy – single supplement will apply), full buffet breakfast, Glitterati Gala Dinner and full use of the spa facilities. See website for prices. Book early to guarantee your place. Full pre orders required before the 27th December 2011.

Where: The Royal Yacht NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE BAR New Year’s Eve – Resolutions Party – Indulgence Buffet , D.J & Entertainment. Bubbles on arrival. Wii challenge’s, Heated marquee, Disco & Dancing. Celebrations kick off at 19:30. Adults £10. Prize for the best resolutions, Dress Code: Smart casual. Strictly over 18s.

Contact: 789431 NEW YEAR’S EVE AT CHAMBERS A late night pub style atmosphere with live music/disco in the back room. Free entry. Strictly over 18s. FREE Contact: 735405 - chambersjersey@hotmail.co.uk NEW YEAR’S EVE AT MIMOSA A fashionable bar situated in the entertainment hub of St Helier.

Canapés from 19:00 to 20:30. Extension till 03:30. £10.00 per person. Strictly over 18s.

Contact: 877003 - info@libertysjersey.co.uk

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT PURE Always a reliable port of call for local clubbers, Pure celebrates another year by bringing together some of Jersey’s top DJs. Uniting the Boogaloo and 3 Twenty collectives for the first time, the line up includes DJs Tony Safe, Keith Robinson, Hannah Jacques, Dave Smith and Paul Shoer playing the best in house and old skool bangers. £5 entry on the door. Strictly over 18s.

Contact: 07797 751669 - pure1@jerseymail.co.uk NEW YEAR’S EVE AT JERSEY BOWL Our Buffet Ticket price includes unlimited bowling and quasar, free arcade Games, sky lanterns at Midnight, live entertainment and Games and Prizes.

Contact: 490444 - info@jerseybowl.com CLUB KAMIKAZE NEW YEAR’S EVE 2 parties under 1 roof!.... and fancy-dress IS encouraged! The middle floor hosts a ‘Stars in your Eyes’ party with 5 bands duking it out.

The ground floor will feature an ‘End of the World’ party complete with a dub-step soundtrack and apocalyptic film backdrop. Tickets are available from White Label Records & iQ. Strictly 18+. Pre-purchase advised.

Where: Live Lounge Contact: chris@beathappening.co.uk ‘A HEAVENLY’ NEW YEARS EVE Heaven, Hell and Purgatory - 3 Rooms, 3 Vibes, 3 Choices. Tanguy’s very own DJ Keith Robinson will see you through to 2012 with a live link to Big Ben and the big countdown. VIP Tables available. Strictly over 18s.

Where: Tanguy’s Bar Contact: 07797 858352 - tracy@tanguysbar.com NYE AT THE DRIFT New Year! With fantastic music all night from our Resident DJ’s and live entertainment from one of our favourite guest artists. Ticket includes all of the evening’s entertainment and a delicious early buffet. Tickets are available from The Royal Yacht Hotel and from White Label Records. Strictly over 18s.

Contact: 720511 - events@theroyalyacht.com

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Words by Rebecca Seller || Feature Design by Tiffany Shales

St Aubin’s Fireworks Display No plans for New Years Eve yet? Why not head down to the picturesque village of St Aubin. Not only is there a selection of delicious restaurants to choose from but once the clock strikes 12 the sky will light up with a display of fireworks.

St Aubin’s will be hosting a spectacular fireworks display from 12am on New Year’s Eve. The event is taking place thanks to the restaurants in the area working together to create a unique and special community event.

an atmosphere”. The amount paid is worked out on sliding scale based on how many covers being sold for New Years Eve in each of the participating restaurants and is proving even more of an attraction for the village.

The restaurants funding the display are The Salty Dog Bar & Bistro, Murray’s, Cheffin’s, The Boat House, The Bulwarks, The St Aubin Steakhouse, Danny’s, Pedro’s, Old Court House, Royal Channel Island Yacht Club, Somerville Hotel Mark Jordan at the Beach and The Shapla.

The good news is the whole village can join in and marvel in the fireworks as they mingle with the diners from the various restaurants who will be able to finish their toasting in of the New Year at their chosen restaurant, before getting outdoors for the fireworks, which will go off at around 12.05.

Natalie Duffy from The Salty Dog Bistro has been organising the event since early 2011. When asked how the idea came about she said “I set about asking all the restaurants and hotels in the village to see if they would be interested in contributing towards costs and promoting St Aubin as the place to be this New Year. The feedback was great and everyone welcomed the idea and after a couple of meetings we all agreed a way forward.”

Another St Aubin restaurant owner, Murray Norton is delighted most owners are joining in. “It’s good to know we are all seeing the bigger picture and realising that we are a destination, who promote ourselves collectively, giving people another reason to book a table with us and also put on a free show on behalf of this wonderful village to welcome in 2012.”

The restaurants have divided up the cost of the display between them and with donations from Jersey Tourism, the Parish of St Brelade and the St Aubin Residents Association, a magnificent display is being staged.

Natalie Duffy is thrilled with how it’s come together. “Having all of the restaurants in the village paying in to the fund is a wonderful show of unity between us and it promises to be quite

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It looks set to be a big calendar event in the future as Natalie Duffy explains;

“What I am really hoping for is for this to become a big event for the Village and for our residents to take advantage of the display and organise some great parties in their homes creating a happy and festive atmosphere.”

Some of the restaurants may still have space left so make sure you book now for New Year’s Eve dinner to avoid disappointment.

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The Old Smugglers Inn at Ouaisne Bay invites you to their New Years Eve party. With a buffet and live music from local band Sergeant Pipons Lonely Heart Club Band what better way to spend New Year’s Eve than at the cosy Old Smugglers Inn. The venue is steeped in history, which dates back to the days when the bay resounded to the sound of pirates singing as they brought ashore their ill-gotten gains. The pirates would enjoy a draft or two of the best ales of the day – a tradition that still lives on at the modern day Old Smugglers bar. Real Ales are the important attraction of this Inn which has been part of our landscape since the 17th Century. So lets all get merry and celebrate New Year to the sounds of local hit band Sergeant Pipon’s Lonely Heart Club Band.

The band who have been known in the past as Wet Wet Le Geyt, Snow Hill Patrol; and Massive L’Etacq have a cult following and have release 3 CD’s to date. They play their own original numbers which are all written about our little Island of Jersey. Songs include Rozel Rovers, Underpass and their version of a Jersey National anthem called Anthem for the people. The band consists of 6 members: Del Mation – Guitar/Harmonica/ Lead Vocal Che Woo Wah – Percussion/ Lead Vocal Jack Russell – Violin/Backing Vocals Red Setter – Bass/Mandocello/ Backing Vocals Rock Viler – Mandolin/Backing Vocals Al Sation – Mandolin/Jew’s Harp/Backing Vocals (Retired)

Long long ago Del and Che formed a band affectionately known as ‘2 Dogs at It’ which slowly evolved into the 6 piece ensemble of Sergeant Pipon’s LHCB that we know today. The core of the current line up have been together for over 15 years now and have a collective age of 303 and a half years All songs are based on a simple set of guidelines: • keep it original • keep it live • keep it acoustic • learn three or four chords really well • if you cant play it after 7 pints then its too complicated Jersey Weekly caught up with Sergeant Pipon’s Lonely Hearts Club band How did the band originally form?

The answer is lost in the mists of time but the theory that it was found under a gooseberry bush remains difficult to disprove.

How would you best describe your style?

A unique style which pushes the boundaries of music to where it really doesn’t want to go.

Influences?

Yes, we are normally under it.

The songs are about Island life what inspires a new song?

If by ‘inspires’ you mean a product of creative thinking then we have absolutely no idea!

MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Does the band have a particular favourite song to play?

Well there’s good news and bad news. Yes we do have a favourite but due to the sensitive and moving content we have yet to find a suitable venue for it to be aired. I can tell you the title - “@@@@! the States especially the @@@@@@@! minister for *******!” It’s a love song and the unashamed sentimentality it promotes often has the band in floods of tears at rehearsal.

What can people expect from your New Years Eve gig?

If history is anything to go by then at around 12 o’clock people can expect midnight swiftly followed by January 1st.

Design by Tiffany Shales Words by Rebecca Seller || Feature

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions?

To stop taking sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night.

Tickets are £5 and can be bought from The Old Smugglers Inn at Ouaisne.

The ticket includes a finger buffet and live music from Sergeant Pipon’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Doors open at 8pm and the party finishes at 2am.

For further information and tickets please call the Smugglers on 01534 741510.

Do you think it’s the humour or the issues in the songs that are responsible for your large following?

Our large following is mainly down to too many mince pies and real ale.

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Tanguys invites you to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Heavenly style!

WORDS

Lucy Sanderson Bourgeois

FEATURE DESIGN Jason

Chris and Tracy at Tanguys invite you to spend a FREE night of fun and festive frolics at Tanguys. See in 2012 in the newly refurbished Tanguys Bar, with their theme of Heaven, Hell & Purgatory…

Reko Winter Jersey Advert 24x17cm.pdf

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19/12/2011

15:41

The three spaces in Tanguys will be transformed for the night, and angels & devils and those a bit in between can dance the night away for FREE. Tanguys is a one-stop shop when it comes to great cocktails, great service and atmosphere – all year round.

Bringing all manner of nights to Jersey revelers 364 days a year (Christmas is their only day off!), Tanguys always delivers a classy environment to its customers.

New Year’s Eve is no different and Tanguys is probably one of the few places where party-goers can go for free.

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Resident DJ Keith Robinson will be flooding the dance floor with music to rock your socks to and Chris Tanguy will be counting down the seconds to 2012 with a direct link on the screens to Big Ben.

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VIP tables will be awash with champagne and the bar will be open from 7pm until at least 2am.

No doubt, Tracy will have a few surprises up her sleeve and we are told that the best dressed angel or devil will be in for a tasty treat courtesy of Rekorderlig Cider – with their new Winter Limited Edition Flavour!

Those who choose Purgatory better decide whether they’re naughty or nice…

To reserve a VIP table in Heaven, please email Tracy at tracy@tanguysbar.com.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS WORDS

Chris Bell Bourgeois

FEATURE DESIGN Jason

It’s been a great year for music in the Island with the likes of Jersey Live, Branchage, Theology, Amplify Jersey and Club Kamikaze all doing their bit to bring new and exciting bands and DJs to these shores.

So what better way to round off 2011 and ring in 2012 than with the biggest line up of live music and DJs you’ll find this New Years Eve, with Club Kamikaze at the Live Lounge?

The clubnight has carved itself a name as one of the Island’s most forward-thinking regular events, with acts like Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs and Capitol K having played to live music fans and clubbers alike, and with each event having a different musical theme.

The New Year’s Eve party is no different, with a theme for each of the top two floors of the Live Lounge: the middle floor’s proceedings are suitably billed as a ‘Stars In Your Eyes party’, with local bands performing a selection of songs by a designated artist, along with their own original numbers, just like the old classic

Saturday night TV show. Grunge outfit The Morves perform songs by Nirvana, whilst young punk trio What Rot tackle Blondie; Soulless Kings do The Rolling Stones, cabaret joker The Midnight Expresso interprets Pink Floyd, and a mystery band will be paying homage to Scottish rockers Biffy Clyro.

Meanwhile, the top floor hosts an ‘End of the World party’; with 2012 looming and believed by some to be the year of armageddon, Club Kamikaze have decided it’s only fitting to usher in what could be the last year on earth by acknowledging the doomsday prediction.

The ‘Apocalypse Cinema’ features local DJs Schema, Jonny P Tuck and DJ SMK playing dubstep, breaks, d&b, electro and glitch-hop, accompanied by a big screen playing disaster movie visuals.

Of course nobody wants to see in such a cataclysmic year on an empty stomach, so the customary buffet will be available too.

themes, Stars in Your Eyes and End of the World, so you could come as anything from Lady Gaga to Matthew Kelly or a zombie, Mad Max or a horseman of the apocalypse!”

He adds: “This is by far and away going to be the liveliest party this new year’s eve.

We’ve tried to cater for everyone in some respects – there are 5 different genres of live music, in my opinion 3 of Jersey’s finest DJs and 2 fancy dress themes to choose from – although normal attire is acceptable! Last year’s party was brilliant and was totally packed, so I’d advise people to get a ticket before they sell out.”

NYE @ Club Kamikaze takes place at The Live Lounge, Saturday 31st December, 9.30pm – 3am. Tickets are £8 from White Label, Colomberie, and iQ, Beresford St, or £10 on the door (subject to availability)

With two such different themes, there’s ample inspiration for fancy dress ideas, as organiser Chris Bell says: “We’ve got two

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

ure Words by Rebecca Seller || Feat

Design by Tiffany Shales

for you this season with many familiar faces. The enchanting tale of Sleeping Beauty runs at the Jersey Opera House from Monday 26th December 2011 until Sunday 8th January 2012.

The Jersey Green Room Club along with some familiar faces from BBC Radio Jersey present their annual pantomime this year with the family favourite ‘Sleeping Beauty’ but with a comedy twist... lots of laughs, fun and audience participation for boys and girls alike!

The classic fairytale ‘Sleeping Beauty’ has enchanted audiences for generations as the battle of good over evil is brought to life in the shape of the evil fairy ‘Carabosse’ who puts a spell on ‘Princess Catherine’ and threatens to end her life.

But can the handsome Prince William save her? The Jersey Green Room Club has joined forces with BBC Radio Jersey and dreamed up the perfect family pantomime

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Pantomimes are a truly traditional British way to get into the spirit of Christmas and generally appeal to everyone - children and adults alike. It’s a great opportunity to enjoy an afternoon or evening out at the theatre with the kids with lots of singing, dancing and ‘boo-ing’ the bad guys. Pantomime posters around town are a sure sign that we are in the festive season. If you’ve never been to one before, you’ll be struck by the festive spirit at this fun and interactive theatre event.

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MUSIC, THEATRE & ARTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

The pantomime has been written and directed by BBC Radio Jersey’s Assistant Editor Matthew Price – who also steps on to the stage as the Lord Chamberlain.

Mid-Morning presenter Sara Palmer plays one of the magical Fairy Godmothers and even sings ‘Nobody Loves Fairy when she’s Forty’. Broadcast Assistant Alice Godden is a member of the Dancing Chorus. To top it all, Breakfast Presenter Roger Bara is the Musical Director and will be fronting ‘The Roger Bara Band’ in the pit for the entire run. He’s arranged all of the musical numbers including the Bonne Tyler classic ‘Holding out for a Hero’. In the 1980’s Roger was Bonnie’s Musical Director too.

Matthew Price commented “It’s been an immense privilege to be asked to write and direct the island’s annual Christmas panto.

For many children, a trip to the pantomime is the first taste of theatre they’ll get. I hope they enjoy Sleeping Beauty and will keep on returning to the theatre time and time again.”

There’s something deeply romantic and universal about the story of Sleeping Beauty. Life rarely involves handsome princes, sleeping princesses and magic spells, but the themes of loyalty and perseverance in love are just the thing to warm the heart at Christmas time.

Sleeping Beauty tells the tale of a beautiful princess who pricks her finger and falls into a deep sleep - thanks to an evil spell cast upon her by the wicked fairy. However this production also brings comedy, fun, laughs and songs to entertain the whole family.

Commenting on the forthcoming pantomime Matthew Price said “I have had so much fun working with my dedicated team of performers, musicians and backstage crew to re-create the magic of Christmas on stage”.

The Jersey Green Room Club is a well known and respected amateur dramatic club. They celebrated their centenary in 2009. The club has around 200 members and is open to anyone who would like to

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join. They are praised for the enormous sense of fun they share with their audiences. Audience participation is very much at the heart of the Jersey Green Room Club’s productions. The villain evil fairy “Carabosse” will require plenty of booing so make sure your voice is warmed up!

Join the BBC and Jersey Green Room Club this Christmas to find out if Princess Catherine’s true love will be able to awaken her and save the kingdom from the evil fairy’s enchantment. With showstopping song and dance, larger than life characters, colourful costumes and spectacular sparkling sets this year’s pantomime is guaranteed to cast its magical spell over young and old.

The Panto opens on Boxing Day and runs for seventeen shows until January 8th.

But the BBC team expect to be upstaged by one other colleague…Pudsey Bear will be putting in an appearance as a collection will be taken for BBC Children in Need at the end of every show.

Tickets are available from the Jersey Opera House and are priced as follows: Stalls and Dress Circle Full Price £16 Concessions £14 Upper Circle Full Price £14 Concessions £12 Family Ticket £55 (2 adults 2 children or 1 adult 3 children - only available for purchase from Box Office. Contact on 01534 511115 The following date and times are available: 26th December 2.30pm 27th December 2.30pm 7.30pm 28th - 30th December 7.30pm 31st & 1st December 2.30pm 2nd January 2.30pm 7.30pm 3rd - 6th January 7.30pm 7th January 2.30pm 7.30pm 8th January 2.30pm

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FOOD & DRINK

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Eating In

by Jon Moore, news@jerseyweekly.com

Baileys Cheesecake, Prep time: over 2 hours, Cook time: less than 10 mins

• 100g butter • 250g digestive biscuits, crushed • 600g Philadelphia cream cheese • 25ml Baileys • 100ml icing sugar

• 300ml double cream, whipped • 100g grated chocolate • To garnish • 200ml double cream, whipped • cocoa powder, to dust

Melt the butter in a pan and add the crushed digestive biscuits. Mix well until the biscuits have absorbed all the butter.

Remove from the heat and press into the bottom of a lined 18cm/7in springform tin. Place in the refrigerator and allow to set for one hour.

Meanwhile, prepare the filling. Lightly whip the cream cheese then beat in the Bailey’s and icing sugar. Fold in the whipped cream and grated chocolate. When smooth, spoon evenly onto the biscuits.

Refrigerate and allow to set for a further two hours. Once set, remove and decorate with whipped cream and cocoa powder dusted over the top.

Serve.

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FOOD & DRINK

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Eating In

by Jon Moore, news@jerseyweekly.com

Chocolate Mince Pies, Prep time: 45 mins, Cook time: 30 mins

• 280g plain flour, sifted • 125g icing sugar, sifted • 50g cocoa powder, sifted • Pinch salt • 200g cold butter, diced

• 2 free-range egg yolks • 500g mincemeat • 2 clementines, zest and juice • 2 tbsp milk • 1 free-range egg, beaten• 2 oranges, juice and zest

Mix the flour, icing sugar, cocoa powder and salt together in a bowl. Mix in the butter with your fingertips until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.

Stir in the egg until the mixture comes together in clumps (you may need to a little cold water). Knead the dough briefly until smooth, wrap in clingfilm and leave to chill in the fridge for one hour.

Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.

Mix the mincemeat, clementine zest and juice together in a bowl.

Remove the pastry from the fridge, and roll out to a thickness of 0.5cm Using a 7.5cmfluted cutter, stamp out 12 discs from the pastry and use them to line a 12-hole bun tin. Fill each hole with two teaspoons of the mincemeat mixture and brush the edges with a little milk.

Using a 6cm fluted cutter, cut out 12 circles and use them to top the mince pies, pressing the edges together with your fingertips. Re-roll any remaining pastry and cut our snowflakes or star shapes to decorate the top. Brush the top of each mince pie with beaten egg and gently place the decorations on top, then brush again with egg.

Bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes, or until the pastry is cooked through.

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Sports News

Compiled by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

Jersey 34 - Blackheath 5

Friday named second row Kingsley Lang as the pick of the Jersey team.

A delighted Ben Harvey saw his Jersey side rise to second in the table, just a point behind Ealing, their next opponents.

The game seemed in the balance as the hosts turned round into a strong wind just 10 points to the good, but Jersey raised their game and eventually finished comfortable winners.

“It was a fantastic result,” said Jersey’s Director of Rugby. “Blackheath are a really good side and we had to front up. It wasn’t a huge lead at half-time but I was confident, we knew what we had to do and the first score of the second half was crucial.”

After shipping two tries to Blackheath in four minutes at Rectory Field in September, Jersey were again behind early when the visitors exploited some blind-side space from a scrum and James Stephenson dived over.

The home crowd were briefly silenced, but found their voice when Mike Le Bourgeois slotted a straightforward penalty, and Jersey then took the lead when quick hands to the right enabled Ashley Maggs to cross.

Jersey Tries: Maggs 24, Trower 31, Thompson 48, Penalty 67, Bishop 71 Conversions: Le Bourgeois 31, Broadfoot 67 Penalty: Le Bourgeois 12 Blackheath Try: Stephenson 3 Jersey: Copsey, Maggs, Bishop, Sanders, Dawson, Le Bourgeois, McCormack, Landick, Felton, Evans, Hannay, Lang, Bell (capt), Thompson, Trower. Replacements: Maddocks, Clyde-Smith, Broadfoot, Voss, Griffiths.

Blackheath: Armstrong, Canty, Humphries, Windsor, Stephenson, Squires, Walsh, Legg, O’Meara, Brett, Bason (capt), Dewale, Stradwick, Allen, Catt. Replacements: Woodall, Gelman, Paddick, Raybe, Chapman.

Referee: Paul Knowles

Tough Guy

Blackheath threatened to retake the lead during a spell of pressure that was ended by a soaring 70-metre clearance kick from Le Bourgeois, and Jersey finished the half strongly. Dai Bishop put Nick Trower over for a try, but some handling errors and determined defence stopped the hosts stretching their advantage.

Jersey began the second period on the front foot, kicking an early penalty to the corner and maintaining their pressure until Guy Thompson crashed over after a series of attacking phases.

Some excellent steals by skipper Tom Bason helped Blackheath disrupt a Jersey line-out missing Jim Brownrigg’s organisational skills, and the 20-5 scoreline remained until flanker Dave Allen was sin-binned for a tackle ruled reckless by the referee after the Jersey player concerned was dropped to the ground.

The visitors conceded two more tries during Allen’s absence: a penalty try after the Blackheath pack was shunted almost 20 metres in the course of two scrums, and Dai Bishop crossing for his first try for the Island to put the icing on the cake.

Blackheath Coach Mike Friday had no complaints after what he described as the most comprehensive of his side’s seven defeats so far this season.

“We got what we deserved - Jersey played the conditions and the pitch far better than we did,” he said. “It’s a tough trip over here, but there are no excuses - Jersey executed far better than we did, especially after the break, and our players have to learn from this.”

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Words // Marcus Quinn • Feature Design // Jon Moore

Club: Jersey Thai Boxing Club Founded: 1991 Members: 50–60 regulars, but 411 people have been up at least once in the last four years.

Cost of membership: £5 per session, or £35 per month Other costs: £20 per year for license and insurance Interesting fact: The club’s last show, in October, not only had a Halloween theme, but was also the club’s 13th show.

Contact: James (07797 724634) or Chris (07797 742964) or email jerseythaiboxingclub@hotmail.co.uk Website: Via Facebook – search for Jersey Thai Boxing Club

WHAT IS THE ATTRACTION OF THE SPORT?

“Fitness and self-defence, mainly. For the fighters it’s about testing yourself and finding your limits,” says instructor James Jury.

HOW POPULAR IS THE SPORT IN JERSEY?

“Over the past several years it has grown to become very popular. We are the original Muay Thai club in the Island and have just celebrated our 20th anniversary, with more than 400 people having come through our doors since our recent records began in 2007.”

WHAT IS THE HISTORY OF THE CLUB?

“Rob Mitchell started the club in 1991. He returned to the Island after competing overseas, and when he found out there were no full contact martial arts clubs in the island, he started one himself.”

WHAT IS THE CLUB’S TRAINING SCHEDULE?

“We train three times a week, however, when we are competing this goes up to six times a week for six weeks before the competition.”

WHAT IS THE CLUB’S COMPETITION SCHEDULE?

“We hold at least two shows annually. One is held around October which is for bringing the novices up through the ranks, the other is a professional show in May, held for our more experienced fighters. We also take fighters away to compete in the UK and Europe, and some even go to fight out in Thailand.”

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WHO ARE THE MEMBERS? WHAT KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE INVOLVED?

“We run mixed classes in terms of both ability and sex. We have people from all walks of life, from kids to mothers and people just wanting to keep fit, all the way to those wanting to step up to compete.”

HAVE MEMBERS GONE ON TO ACHIEVE ISLAND SUCCESS OR GREATER? “Yes, we have trained one world and five European kickboxing champions and also the present British Professional Muay-Thai champion.”

WHAT IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE CLUB’S ANNUAL CALENDAR?

“Our main show is around May time and is held at Hotel de France. It is a world-class Muay Thai event that has seen multiple world champions compete, and it’s called Kings of the Ring. Our next Kings of the Ring event has just recently been confirmed for Saturday 26 May 2012.”

WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES THE CLUB SO SPECIAL?

“We train very hard but also socialise regularly, which is important for the new members to help them feel at home within the club. It’s not just about breeding champion fighters, it’s also about everyone feeling the gym is somewhere they can come where they feel comfortable, can meet new people and make friends regardless of their standard.”

HOW CAN SOMEONE GET INVOLVED?

“They can call or e-mail one of the instructors, message us through Facebook or come along to one of our training sessions, even if it’s only to take a look. We train 6 pm to 7.30 pm every Tuesday and Thursday and 3 pm to 4.30 pm every Saturday. The gym can be found at 70 Stopford Road, St Helier, which is behind the organics shop.”

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

PREMIERSHIP WISH LIST

ARSENAL: A TROPHY

ASTON VILLA: SCOTT PARKER

BLACKBURN: A NEW MANAGER

BOLTON: THREE POINTS

CHELSEA: RAY WILKINS

Arsenal have to end the drought or risk losing Robin Van Persie to Manchester City.

If Arsene Wenger really is serious about mounting a worthy challenge, he’ll be bolstering the squad come January and holding onto his celebrated top scorer.

Alex McLeish still hasn’t won over the fans, but what might cheer him up is a Scott Parkertype dynamic, boxto-box, goal-scoring midfielder, who can also tackle.

No matter how keen Steve is to insist that all is well at Blackburn Rovers, with Blackburn now suffering their worst ever start to a football league season, only a miracle can save Steve’s job now.

Bolton are fast becoming the “too good to go down” team this season – but, unfortunately, they are, at this rate, going down. Three points won’t save their season, but at this point in time Owen Coyle needs every point he can get.

Since Ray’s sacking, Chelsea have struggled for consistency and scotched chances at winning any respectable trophy.

Even under new manager Andre Villas-Boas, the Blues are out-ofsorts. Could Butch save their season?

EVERTON: A GOALSCORER

FULHAM: BOBBY ZAMORA

LIVERPOOL: ON-FORM GERRARD

MANCHESTER CITY: SELL CARLOS TEVEZ

MAN UNITED: A CITY SLIP UP

It’s indicative of Everton’s problems that their top scorer so far this season is Apostolos Vellios, who has scored three times in ten league appearances.

The loan return of Landon Donovan is temporary, and the Toffees need permanent investment.

Zamora has played a major role in Fulham’s success in recent seasons and is Martin Jol’s most important player.

Though there have been reports of a rift, the Cottagers are close to the drop zone and keeping hold of Zamora could be key.

Liverpool’s captain has not played for the Reds since scoring against Manchester United at Anfield in October.

Kenny Dalglish won’t rush Gerrard back into action until he is fully fit, but Liverpool will be a stronger squad with Stevie G at the helm.

City are a formidable force without their want-away striker Carlos Tevez, who has been AWOL for the past month and is yet to apologise to Roberto Mancini following last month’s bust-up.

The Blues look ready to take a hit on the price and ditch the Argentinian.

Since United were beaten 6-1 by City, the least they could hope for this Christmas is that their rivals give up a few points and allow the current champs a shot at one worthy piece of silverware this season.

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

NEWCASTLE: A HERO

STOKE: SOME CREDIT

SUNDERLAND: BACK-2-BACK WINS

TOTTENHAM: CARLOS TEVEZ

WEST BROM: CONSISTENCY

The Magpies dressed as superheroes for their annual Christmas party, but Newcastle’s playing resources are being tested to the limit and if they want to put a run of wins back together they’re going to need a few heroic performances on the pitch.

Stoke are the only one of five English clubs to have qualified properly for the Europa knockout round, and they’ve created a fortress at the Britannia Stadium.

They’re not going to win the league, but they’re certainly managing to make life difficult for the league’s top teams.

Sunderland have had a rocky old year but they’ve just about managed to lift themselves from the bottom three under new manager Martin O’Neill, and a couple of back-toback wins would give them a welcome bit of breathing space from the drop zone.

You’d think few clubs would be willing to take a risk on a selfimportant rebellious striker, but Spurs are desperate to add more firepower to a team who have scored the fewest goals of any of the top five, and this week they’ve emerged as the shock contenders for City bad boy Carlos Tevez.

It’s all very well going to Aston Villa and securing a comfortable victory but the Baggies have been a bookie’s delight with just as surprising results in losing to Wigan and Swansea. Roy Hodgson’s side have put in some impressive performances, but they need to take points from the teams around them.

QPR: HOME GOALS

WIGAN: CONFIDENCE

WOLVES: KEEP FLETCHER

SWANSEA: A MEAN STREAK

NORWICH: A CLEAN SHEET

QPR have scored only six goals at Loftus Road this season, which is the lowest total in the top four divisions.

Helguson clearly knows how to score, but Warnock will need to work out how to supply him with the right service if he wants to avoid a relegation scramble.

Wigan are the Premier League’s perennial strugglers, yet despite another difficult start to the season they’ve managed a couple of wins, a draw against Blackburn and a point against Chelsea last weekend, which proves that the top teams can be shaken.

Wolves look much more of a threat when Fletcher is in the mood to score, and with Matt Jarvis setting up some decent chances the pair have created a good link-up. Fletch has scored six in his last ten games, which is good by anyone’s standards.

Swansea are so far managing to stay afloat in the Premier League, but they could really do with finding a bit more aggression and ruthlessness away from home, since they’re yet to take three points from their travels.

Despite a good run of form Norwich are yet to earn their first clean sheet of the season. Still, the Canaries are doing everything expected of them on their top-flight return, and manager Paul Lambert will be most concerned with getting the points on the board.

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Sports & Fitness

by Tiffany Shales, news@jerseyweekly.com

SPORTS & FITNESS CENTRES

BodyRox No. 6, Seale Street, Seaton Place, St Helier.

Fort Regent Leisure Centre St Helier. Phone: 449800

Phone: 618300 Open: Mon - Thurs: 6am - 9pm Fri: 6am - 8pm Sat: 7am - 5pm Sun: 8am - 5pm

Carrefour Metro

www.gov.je Gym: Mon - Thurs: 6.30am - 9.30pm, Fri: 6.30am - 9pm Sat & Sun: 8.15am - 5pm Bank Holidays: 9am - 5pm

Normandy House, Grenville Street, St

Helier Phone: 739000 Open: Mon - Thurs: 6.30am - 9pm, Fri: 6.30am - 8pm, Sat: 8am 5.30pm, Sun: 9am - 4pm

Club Carrefour La Grand Route de St Laurent, St Lawrence Phone: 865555 Open: Mon - Thurs: 6.30am - 9pm, Fri: 6.30am - 8.30pm, Sat: 7.30am - 7pm, Sun: 8.30am - 6pm

Curves 19 Oxford Road, St Helier. Phone: 611900

Open: Mon - Fri: 7am - 3pm, 4pm - 7pm Sat: 9am - 12pm

Fitness First The Waterfront, La Rue de L’Etau, St Helier.

Phone: 752400 Open: Mon - Thurs: 6am - 10pm Fri: 6am - 8pm Sat: 7am - 8pm Sun: 8am - 6pm

• ARCHERY • Archers of Jersey

£6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Old School Aerobics Carrefour Metro

Aerobics at Fitness First

• AQUA AEROBICS •

Mon - 5.30pm Hydrofit at Les Quennevais Fri - 5.45pm Mon - 7pm £39.95 a month, Classes are 45 mins. £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Shape up to Music Aerobics with Jayne & Julie Aquamotion at Les Mon - 7.15pm Quennevais

Sun - 10.30am Tues & Thurs - 9.45am £6 a session, 1 hour. St Mary’s £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Community Centre (Mon) & St Martins are 45 min.

School (Sun) 864569. Until Dec.

Aqua Combat

Fat Burner at Les Quennevais Tues - 7pm Tues - 7pm

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Brune, St Brelade. Phone: 497000 www.lesormesjersey.co.uk Gym: Mon - Fri 6.30am - 9pm Sat & Sun: 7.30am - 8pm

Les Quennevais Sports Centre

Route des Quennevais, St Brelade. Phone: 449880 www.gov.je Gym: Mon - Fri: 7am - 9pm Sat: 9am - 5pm Sun: 9am - 6pm Bank Holidays: 9am - 5pm Swimming pool: Mon - Fri: 7am - 8.30am (Adults only) 9am - 8pm Wed & Thurs: 7pm - 8pm (Adults only) Fri: 6pm - 7pm (Family fun) Sat: 9am - 5pm Sun: 9am - 7pm, 4.30pm - 6pm (Family fun) Bank Holidays: 9am - 5pm

Springfield Stadium & Sports Centre Janvrin Rd,

St Helier. Phone: 449615 www.gov.je Centre: Mon - Thurs: 6.30am - 10.15pm Fri: 6.30am - 6.30pm Sat & Sun: 8.30am - 2pm.

Gym: Mon - Thurs: 6.30am - 9.30pm Fri: 6.30am - 6pm Sat & Sun: 8.30am - 1.30pm 734524 aquasplash.je

Aqua Natal at Les at Quennevais

Mon & Wed - 7am - 9pm £TBA archersofjersey.webs. Mon - 5.30pm com Tony O’Sullivan 743755 or £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both archersofjersey@hotmail.co.uk clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Archery Society Metro. Classes are 45 mins.

Thurs - 7.30pm Sun - 10am Dance Aerobic at BodyRox £TBC 91 Crabbe, St Mary Thurs - 12.10pm jerseyarcherysociety.co.uk £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

• AEROBICS •

Les Ormes Golf & Leisure Village Le Mont a la

£7.30, Beginners Class Aqua Splash

Tues & Wed - 7pm £6.80, Classes are 1 hour.

Aqua Beat at Les Quennevais

Fri - 1pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

• BADMINTON • Grainville Badminton Club

Tues & Fri - 8pm - 10pm Friendly club looking club Wed - 9.45am standard players to join as new £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes members or guests. £5 guest are 45 mins. or membership options, New Gilson Hall, La Pouquelaye info@ Aqua Aerobics at Les grainvillebadmintonclub.com

Quennevais

• BASKETBALL • Thurs - 7pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Beginners - Jersey Aqua Fit at Les Quennevais

Basketball Association

Tues - 7.30pm. £TBC Langford Fri - 9.45am Sports Centre, Mont Millais £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Advance - Jersey Basketball

Post Natal Aqua at Les Quennevais

Fri - 10.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Aqua Mobility at Les Quennevais

Association

Tues - 8.30pm £TBC Langford Sports Centre, Mont Millais

• BODY PUMP • Bodypump at Fort Regent Mon & Wed - 6pm

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Thurs - 5.45pm Jersey Thai Boxing Club £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Tues & Thurs - 6pm are 1 hour.

Sat - 3pm £5 per session or £35 a month, 70 Bodypump Technique at Fort Stopford Road, St Helier 077977 42964

Regent

• CIRCUITS • Mon & Wed - 5.40pm Thurs - 5.30pm FREE, Classes are 15 mins. Curves Circuit with Zumba Recommend to do before your 1st Mon - 7am, 12.30pm, 6pm & Body pump 6.30pm Thurs - 9am, 12.30pm, 2.30pm & Body Pump at Fitness First 4.30pm Tues - 7am & 5.30pm Sat - 9.30am & 10am Thurs - 7am, 1.15pm & 6.30pm Classes are 30 mins.

Sat - 9am £39.95 a month, Classes are 1 hour. Performance Life at Carrefour

classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 1 hour.

• CYCLING •

Laydeez Fitness Classes

Coast 2 Coast Mountain Bike Tour

Circuits at Les Quennevais

Dance N’ Tone at Springfield

Step Circuit at Les Quennevais

Beginners/Intermediate Line Dancing at Springfield

Tues & Thurs - 6.30pm Sun - 10am Sat - 9.30am £10 - £30, Kiosk, Bel Royal john@ £5 per class or £30 per month, First jerseyadventures.com 07797 727503 Tower School Gym 07797 721315 fiteez.co.uk • DANCE • Tues - 6.30pm Mon - 6pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour. are 45 mins.

Wed - 6pm Metro Tues - 9am Sun - 10.15am Muscle Pump at Carrefour Mon & Fri - 1.10pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Metro Advanced. £45.50 or £59.50 a month £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Mon & Wed - 1.10pm for both clubs, Classes are 30 mins.

Tues - 5.30pm (45 mins) £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both Circuits at Fitness First clubs, Classes are 35 mins.

Mon & Wed - 1.15pm £39.95 a month, Classes are 35 mins.

are 45 mins.

• COMBAT WORKOUTS • Boxercise at BodyRox

Tues - 12.10pm Wed - 1.10pm Thurs - 5.20pm (Outdoor) Fri - 7am Mon - 6pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes £59.50 a month for both Carrefour £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour. are 45 mins unless stated. clubs. Classes are 1 hour.

Bodypump Express at Fort Regent Circuits at Club Carrefour

• BOWLS •

Busy Life at Carrefour Metro

Tues & Thurs - 7am Tabs Tues & Thurs - 5.30pm Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri - 9.30am Wed - 1.10pm & 11.30am £TBC Jersey Indoor Bowls, Mixed ability. £45.50 or £59.50 a The Indoor Bowling Stadium, Grainville month for both clubs, Class Pass Helen: 768772 or jerseyindoorbowl@ - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for aol.co.uk Carrefour Metro. Classes are 35 mins.

Jersey Bowls

Mon - Fri - 10am - 2pm £3 Jersey Bowls Club, Westmount 852158

Tabs & Disabled (new members welcome)

Circuits at Carrefour Metro

Tues - 12.10pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 30 mins.

Wed - 9.30am £TBC Jersey Indoor Bowls, The Indoor Together in Life at Carrefour Bowling Stadium, Grainville Helen: Metro 768772 or jerseyindoorbowl@aol.co.uk Tues & Thurs - 5.30pm Women Only. £45.50 or £59.50 a Friendly League month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 Sat - 9.30am for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour £TBC Jersey Indoor Bowls, The Indoor Metro. Classes are 30 mins.

Bowling Stadium, Grainville Helen: 768772 or jerseyindoorbowl@aol.co.uk Circuits at Fort Regent Tues - 6pm • BOXING • Wed - 7am Sun - 10.30am Pisces Thai Boxing Gym £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Mon & Fri - 5pm - 6pm (Children are 1 hour.

Classes) Mon, Wed & Fri - 6pm - 7.30pm Boxing Circuit at Carrefour (Adult Classes) Metro TBA, La Petit Route Des Mielles, Tues - 6.20pm St Brelade. 07797 813676 or £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both andysellars@yahoo.co.uk clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10

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Body Attack at Fort Regent

Intermediate/Advance Line Dancing at Springfield

Tues - 10am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Over 50’s Shape up to Music with Jayne & Julie

Tues - 10.30am Thurs - 10.30 £5.66 a session, 1 hour. Beginners also welcome St Mary’s Community Centre (Tues) & Trinity Parish Hall (Thurs) 864569. Until Dec.

Mon - 6pm Wed - 5.45pm Sat - 10am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Contemporary Dance &

Improvisation with Sheri

Fighting Fit at Fort Regent

Tues - 6pm - 7pm Mon & Wed - 6.30pm for Adults - All Ages & Abilities. £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes First Tower School, Parking in the are 1 hour. school playground, Your first session is FREE! Then £5 per class Tel. Body Combat at Fort Regent 07797855756 unitydanceprojects@ Tues & Thurs - 5.45pm yahoo.com £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Dance Fusion at Fort Regent Wed - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Kickboxing at Fort Regent

Tues & Thurs - 6.15pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour 45 mins.

Salsa Fusion Wed - 8pm - 10.30pm until 28th Boxing Circuit at Carrefour Dec Metro £5, The Drift Bar 07797 845845 Tues - 6.20pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both Kids & Teenage clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 B-boying (Breakdance) classes, Only valid for Carrefour Sat - 12pm - 1pm (4 - 9yrs), 1pm Metro. Classes are 1 hour.

2pm (10 - 18 yrs) £4 - £5, great form of dance to learn,

Fighting fit at Carrefour Metro but also improves coordination, Thurs - 6.30pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 1 hour.

balance, confidence and general fitness for all levels of ability. Boys and Girls welcome. Samares School 07797 785810.

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

• DIVING • PADI Dive Courses

Fun & Fitness for 5 - 9 yrs at Springfield BodyRox Wed - 12.15pm Tues - 9.30am £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

Daily at a time the suite you From a Discover Scuba Session (try dive) through to Instructor Training Zumba/Atomic at BodyRox £TBC DiveJersey, Belmont Road Wed - 10.30pm - 5 - 9yrs 880934 www.divejersey.co.uk Thurs - 9.30am - 4 - 7yrs Thurs - 10.30pm for Teens DiveJersey - Boats Dive £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes Varied Schedule are 1 hour.

Including Shallow dives suitable for open water divers £TBC DiveJersey, Fitness for Teens at BodyRox Belmont Road 880934 www. Wed - 3.30pm divejersey.co.uk £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

PADI Open Water Course

Mon - Thurs - 10am - 4pm £TBC The Dive Centre, Bouley Bay 866990 scubadivingjersey.com

• MARTIAL ARTS •

Mon & Thurs - 12.15pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Tues - 1.15pm are 45 mins. £39.95 a month, Classes are 35 mins.

Ambient Stretch at Les Quennevais

Fitness Pilates at Fort Regent Body Balance at Fitness Mon - 6pm First £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Sun - 10.30am £39.95 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

• NETBALL • Pay and Play

Wed - 8.30pm - 10.30pm

Jersey Wado Ryu Karate Club £5, Open to all abilities even

Mon & Thurs - Juniors 6.30pm - complete novices, Les Ormes indoor 7.30pm, Seniors 6.30pm - 8.30pm Netball Courts, Rena Nelson Mon - Sun - 10am - 5.30pm £TBC, Bel Royal School 07797 449748 or r.nelson@gov.je £35 over half term for families - 722102 info@jerseywadoryu.com • PETANQUE • £49.50 The Dive Centre, Bouley Bay 866990 scubadivingjersey.com Piscesfitness Wed - 5pm - 6pm (Bag & Pad Friendly Petanque • HOCKEY • Blast) Thurs - 1.45pm Sat - 11am - 12pm - (Rounds/ FREE, Carrefour Petanque Club, The Jersey Ladies Hockey Club Circuit Training) Nicolle Centre, La Route de St Jean, Wed - 6.15pm £5, Pisces Thai Boxing Gym, La St Lawrence Newcomers Welcome, Les Petit Route Des Mielles, St Brelade.

• PILATES • Quennevais astro turf, 07829 916655 07797 813663 or natsellars@ nicky_quenault@yahoo.co.uk hotmail.com

Kayak Tours

Daily - 10am £20 - £25, Location on booking 07797 727503, jerseyadventures.com

Kayak Tours

Power Pilates at Les Children Beginners - Cho’s Quennevais Tae Kwon Do Mon - 9.30am Sat - 11am £TBC Active Studio, Fort Regent

Children Advance - Cho’s Tae Kwon Do

Sat - 12pm, Mon - 6pm Daily - 12.30pm, 2.30pm & 3pm £TBC Active Studio & Dance Studio, £25 - £30, St Brelade’s Bay 07797 Fort Regent 736411 www.absolutejersey.co.uk

Sit on top Kayaking Course

• MIND AND BODY •

are 1 hour.

Core Pilates at Club Carrefour

Thurs & Fri - 10.30am Wed - 6.15pm £59.50 a month for both Carrefour clubs. Classes are 1 hour.

Beginners Pilates at Springfield

Tues - 11.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Power Fitness Pilates at Fort Regent

Tues - 1pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 50 mins.

Pilates for the more Active at Fort Regent Thurs - 1.10pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 50 mins.

£6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Pilates at Carrefour Metro are 45 mins.

Thurs - 5.30pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both Fitness Pilates at clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 Springfield classes, Only valid for Carrefour Mon, Wed & Thurs - 9.30am Metro. Classes are 55 mins. £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes • RUGBY • are 45 mins.

Pilates at The Studio

Mon -10am & 1.10pm (40 mins) Sun - 10am - 12.30pm Ambient Stretch at Fort Tues - 7.15pm (40 mins) £235 - £310 (6 or 8 weeks) For Regent Wed - 12.10pm (40 mins) & anyone who wants to discover sit-on- Mon - 9.30am 9.30am top kayaking or has bought a kayak Fri - 10.30am Thurs - 5.30pm and wants to improve their paddling £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Fri - 1.10pm (40 mins) skills. kayakadventures.co.uk are 1 hour.

Sat - 10am 077978 53033 £6 - 40 mins, £7 1 hour classes. The Body Balance at Fort Regent Studio, Top Floor, 21a La Columberie • KIDS • Mon & Wed - 7.15pm 07797889107, karenatthestudio@ £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes live.co.uk, kmpilates.com Kids Class at Fitness First are 1 hour.

Mon, Wed & Fri - 9.30am Fitness Pilates at Les £39.95 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

Tai Chi & Relaxation at Les Quennevais Quennevais Mon - 10.30am (1 hour), 7pm Boxercise for 12 - 15yrs at Tues - 12.30pm Tues - 9.30am, BodyRox £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Wed - 7pm Mon - 10.30am are 1 hour.

Fri - 10.30am £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Tai Chi & Relaxation at are 45 mins.

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Pilates at BodyRox

Mon & Thurs - 1.10pm Wed -1.15pm £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour. are 45 mins.

Try Dives

• KAYAKING •

Pilates at Fitness First

Les Quennevais Rugby

Wed - 6.30pm FREE new players (adult males only) of all levels of experience welcome. Playing at Jersey Rugby Club grounds Wayne: 07797 771367 or info@lqrfc.com

St Helier Rugby

Wed - 6.30pm FREE new players (adult males only) of all levels of experience welcome.

Playing at Jersey Rugby Club grounds Alex: 07829 702324 or sthelier.rugby@ gmail.com

• RUNNING • Running Club at Carrefour Metro

Tues - 1pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both

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SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 Spinning at Carrefour Metro classes, Only valid for Carrefour Mon & Thurs - 1.10pm Metro. Classes are 45 mins.

Wed - 5.45pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both • SAILING • clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Raleigh Sailing Metro. Classes are 35 mins.

Daily Cruise’s Available 5 different cruises available, short bay, Spinning at Les Quennevais coastal, around the island, inter island Mon & Thurs - 6pm & 7pm & french coast cruises. Prices vary. Tues - 10.30am & 6pm 07797 792858 or 638804, admin@ Weds - 9.30am & 6pm raleighsailing.com Fri & Sat - 9.30am Sun - 10.15am (1 hour 30 mins on • SHOOTING • last Sun of each month) £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Clay Pigeon Shooting are 45 mins.

Daily Clay pigeon shooting is a thrilling RPM at Fitness First experience which demands Tues & Fri - 6.15am, 7am concentration, a keen eye and quick Wed - 5.30pm reactions £35 Absolute Adventures Thurs - 7am 07797736411 www.absolutejersey.co.uk Sat - 9am Sun - 11am Jersey Pistol club £39.95 a month, Classes are 45 mins.

Sat - 2pm • STEPS • Sun - 10am £3 - £6 Jersey Pistol club, Le Chermin du Catel, St Mary 852158 information@ Step at Les Quennevais jerseypistolclub.org.je Mon - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes • SPINNING • are 45 mins.

Spinning at Fitness First

Core Conditioning at Les Quennevais

• WALKING •

Tues - 6.10pm (50 mins) Fri - 1.30pm (45 mins) £6.70 or FREE with Active.

Nordic Walk with Fiteez

Regular Classes & Courses For more information call 07797 721315 fiteez.co.uk Leg, Tums & Bums at Les

Quennevais

• WORK OUTS •

Wed - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Muscle Pump at Les Quennevais

Mon - 10.30am (1 hour) Tues - 7pm Thurs - 10.30am Sun - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Body Active at Springfield

Cardio Kick at Les Quennevais

Wed - 10.15am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Legs, Tums & Bums at BodyRox

Mon - 11.15am Wed - 12.10pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Thurs - 6.15pm are 45 mins. £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

Body Sculpt (upper) Carrefour Metro

at

Core Extreme at BodyRox

Mon, & Wed - 12.10pm Wed - 5.20pm Tues & Thurs - 1.10pm £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both are 1 hour. clubs, Classes are 35 mins.

Absolute Abs at Carrefour Metro

Musle Pump at BodyRox Mon - 12.10pm

Wed - 6.20pm

Simply Step at Carrefour Fri - 1.10pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both Mon - 7am, 1.15pm, 4.40pm, Metro £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 5.30pm & 6.30pm Tues - 1.15pm, 4.40pm, 5.30pm & 6.30pm Weds - 7am, 1.15pm & 6.30pm Thurs - 1.15pm & 5.30pm Fri - 1.15pm Sun - 9.30am £39.95 a month, Classes are 45 mins.

Spinning at BodyRox

Mon - 7am & 12.10pm (35mins) Tues - 5.30pm Wed - 7.15am & 6pm Thurs - 12.10pm & 5.30pm Fri - 7.15am & 12.10pm £6 a class or £38 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

Spinning at Fort Regent

Wed & Fri - 5.30pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 45 mins.

Step & Shape at Fort Regent

Wed - 7.10pm (50 mins) Thurs - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Step & Pump at BodyRox

Fri - 1.10pm £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 40 mins.

Step at Fitness First

Sun - 9.30am Mon - 7am & 6pm £39.95 a month, Classes are 1 hour.

Tues & Thurs - 7.10am, 9.30am • VOLLEYBALL • & 6pm Fri - 5.30pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Beach Volleyball are 45 mins.

Thurs - 6pm FREE, Open to everyone - just bring Spinning at Club Carrefour water. The Gunsite Mon, Wed & Thurs - 9.30am Mon - 6.15pm Beginner Volleyball Sat - 9.15am Sat - 2pm - 4pm Sun - 10am £5 a Session, interested in learning £59.50 a month for both Carrefour how to play or to improve their skills. clubs. Classes are 45 mins.

Haute Vallee School 077977 42882

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are 1 hour.

Total Tone at Les Quennevais

classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 30 mins.

Mon - 1.15pm Tri Work-Out at Les £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Quennevais are 45 mins.

Thurs - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Team Workout - Abs at are 45 mins.

Fitness First

Mon, Wed & Fri - 5pm £39.95 a month, Classes are 15 mins.

Stretch & Shape at Les Quennevais

Body Active at Les Quennevais

Thurs - 11am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Mon & Thurs - 6pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Bootcamp at Carrefour Metro are 45 mins.

Thurs - 12.10pm Perfect for those who want to push Core at Fitness First themselves that bit further & enjoy Mon - 6.15pm training outdoors. £45.50 or £59.50 Fri - 1.15pm a month for both clubs, Class Pass £39.95 a month, Classes are 45 mins. - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 30 Shape & Tone at Les mins.

Quennevais

Tues & Sat - 9.30am Body Combat at Fitness First £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Thurs - 5.30pm are 45 mins.

Sat - 10am £39.95/month, Classes are 45 mins.

Bodytone at BodyRox

Tues - 1.10pm £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes are 45 mins.

Weighted Workout at Les Quennevais Fri - 9.30am

www.jerseyweekly.com 143

SPORTS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

£6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Yoga at Fitness First are 45 mins.

Tues - 6.30pm Fri - 7am Total Tone at Fort Regent Sat - 11am Fri - 9.30am £39.95 a month, Classes are 1 hour. £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Hatha Yoga Beginings Tues - 6.30pm Friday Fitness at Les £7 Rouge Bouillon School Mary: Quennevais 07797 761014 Fri - 10.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Mind & Body Yoga at are 45 mins.

Springfield Tues - 7pm • YOGA • £7.90 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Bikram Yoga Carrefour

at

Club

Mon & Wed - 9.30am Tues & Thurs - 6pm Fri - 5.45pm £59.50 a month for both Carrefour clubs. Classes are 1 hour 30 mins.

£6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Zumba at Rouge Bouillon are 45 mins.

School Tue - & Thurs - 6.10pm Dynamic Yoga at Les Sun - 11.10am Quennevais £6 per class or £40 per month (10 Thurs - 7pm classes) Jo - 077977 78015 or £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes zumbajojersey@hotmail.com are 45 mins.

Zumba at Springfield Fitness Yoga at Carrefour Wed - 5.45pm Metro Sat - 9.15am Fri - 1.10pm £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 35 mins.

Yogalates at Les Quennevais

Yoga at Les Quennevais

£6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Zumba at Town Church

Wed - 6pm £6 per class, Julie 07797 815610 or Colin 07797 747392

Sat - 10.15am Wed - 7am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Zumba at Fitness First Sun - 8.45am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Wed - 6.15pm are 1 hour.

Fri - 10.30am & 6.30pm Hatha Yoga at Springfield Sun - 11.30am Toddler Massage & Yoga (6 Sun - 10am £39.95 a month, Classes are 45 mins.

Afternoon Yoga at Les £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Months - 2 Yrs) Quennevais are 1 hour 30 mins.

Wed - 9.30am - 10.20am Zumba at St John’s School Mon & Wed - 1.15pm £35 for 6 weeks, Carousel Dance Thurs - 6.30pm • ZUMBA • £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Studio, St Helier, 639603 / 07797 £6 per class, Julie 07797 815610 or are 30 mins.

810638, lavenderlullabies.co.uk Colin 07797 747392

Yoga at BodyRox

Zumba at Carrefour Metro

Svaroopa ® Yoga

Mon - 5.45pm Wed - 10am £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes Thurs - 6.15pm are 1 hour. £10 (block) - £13 (drop in), Classes are 1 hour 30 mins, Indoor Bowling Bikram Yoga at Yoga Matters Stadium Grainville. Celina - 07797 Everyday 919149 Mon to Fri - 6pm Tues, Thurs, Sat & Sun - 9.30am Vinyasa Yoga at Fort Regent Sat - 4pm Wed - 6pm £7, 3a Rue de Funchal, St Helier £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes www.yogamatters.yolasite.com are 1 hour.

07797 838376

Jersey Bikram Yoga

Mon, Wed & Fri - 6.30pm Sun - 10am Members/OAP/Students £7, Drop in £10 or 10 Classes £80, Yoga studio, Les Ormes Golf & Leisure Village 07797 725243 www. jerseybikramyoga.com

Vinyasa Yoga at Les Quennevais

Thurs - 9.30am £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 1 hour.

Iyengar Yoga Carrefour

at

Club

Mon - 6.20pm Sat - 10.15am £45.50 or £59.50 a month for both clubs, Class Pass - £70 for 10 classes, Only valid for Carrefour Metro. Classes are 1 hour.

Zumba at Club Carrefour

Zumba at La Moye School

Fri - 10.15am £6 per class Jo - 077977 78015

Mon & Wed - 6.30pm £6 per session, Lucy 07797 761892

Zumba at St Martin’s School

Fri - 9.30am Sun - 10.10am £59.50 a month for both Carrefour clubs. Classes are 1 hour.

Zumba at Trinity Parish Hall

Zumba for Beginners at Fort Regent

Mon - 6.30pm Fri - 1.10pm £6 per class, Julie 07797 815610 or £3.35 or FREE with Active, Classes Colin 07797 747392 are 35 mins.

Zumba at Fort Regent

Tues & Sat - 9.30am Tues - 6pm Thurs - 1.10pm £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes are 45 mins.

Thurs & Sat - 9.30am £59.50 a month for both Carrefour Ashtanga Yoga at BodyRox Zumba at Les Quennevais clubs. Classes are 1 hour 30 mins.

Tues & Thurs - 7am Tues - 10.15am £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes Core Body Yoga at Sun - 11.15am are 1 hour. £6.70 or FREE with Active, Classes Springfield are 45 min.

Thurs - 5.45pm Bikram Yoga Les Ormes £7.90 or FREE with Active, Classes Tues & Thurs - 10am Zumba at BodyRox are 1 hour 15 mins.

Thurs - 6.30pm Tues - 5.20pm All classes are for beginners, 07797 Yoga Class Wed - 6pm 851589 or www.bikramyoga.je Thurs - 6.30pm - 7.30pm £6 - £7 Thurs - 7pm L’Horizon Spa 07829 954000 calli@ £6 per class or £38 a month, Classes Dynamic Yoga at Springfield yoga-box.co.uk are 1 hour.

Tues - 5.45pm £7.90 or FREE with Active, Classes Yogalates at Springfield are 1 hour 15 mins.

Thurs - 7pm

144

Your weekly full-colour guide to sales and special offers from local businesses.

CLASSIFIEDS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Classifieds List your private classified adverts FREE at JerseyWeekly.com/classifieds

PROPERTY LARGE 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT IN THE HEART OF ST AUBIN’S VILLAGE

Available from 1st January 2012, Two double bedrooms, Entrance hall, Bathroom with shower over bath, fully fitted kitchen with very large diner/lounge, fantastic location, Best bus route in the Island - best location in the Island!

Rent; one month in advance and one month returnable deposit, A-H Quals required, Love Life, Love St Aubin’s. £1,100 Call 07797 722291 FOR RENT - AH LARGE 1 BED FURNISHED APARTMENT 1 bedroomed fully furnished quals (AH) stylish apartment available for rent in the heart of town. Very bright and spacious fully furnished top floor apartment with gas central heating, within a purpose built block of 9 apartments.

Rent: £950.00 (includes rates and service charge) one month’s rent in advance and deposit of £900 will be required. Fully fitted kitchen with all new appliances.

Available on a year’s lease which can be renewable from December.

Suitable for non-smoking professional or couple, references and credit checks will be carried out. Contact Stephanie after 5pm on 07797 826113.

APARTMENT FOR RENT 1 Bedroom unfurnished apartment. 1st floor over 50’s only Avalon Park, Green Island £900 Call 01534 724794 UN-QUALIFIED APARTMENT No.8 Duhamel Place St Helier Jersey. Positioned in a quiet residential but central part of town, No.8 Duhamel Place is a brand new non qualified modern & stylish apartment building, Constructed to the highest standards in quality

and finish. Kitchen is fully fitted with integrated appliances: cooker, fridge/freezer, washing machine & dishwasher, with tiled floors.

Housing Status: A-H Qualifications £1,350 Call 01534 630666 NON QUAL 4 BEDROOM FLAT TOWN CENTRE 4 bedroom flat (inc. 2 really large corner rooms), recently redecorated, new carpets in 2 rooms, stunning high ceilings, situated above office in town centre. Can be used as 4 bedroom flat plus communal areas or 3 bedroom with lounge/dining room.

All rooms have curtains. Shared large bathroom with shower and shared kitchen with built in hobs, oven and grill, airing cupboard, large fridge freezer. Loft space for storage. Available immediately.

Deposit required. Negotiable lease. £2,000 pcm Contact Ruthie or Katie, Call 625242 or 077977 79007 3 BEDROOM HOUSE - PONTAC, ST CLEMENT Spacious family home in quiet cul-de-sac. 3 Bedrooms, open plan lounge/dining room, large family kitchen, bathroom, downstairs cloakroom. Safe enclosed garden overlooking fields, parking for 3 cars plus visitor parking. Close to St Clement primary/secondary schools and Co-Op Locale.

Excellent bus route. Owners motivated to sell, no onward chain. £455,000 ono Call 077977 21312 REFURBISHED AND SMARTLY PAINTED A-H FLAT AVAILABLE - JANUARY 2012 Completely refurbished and smartly painted one bedroom unfurnished A-H flat available January 2012. Close to town, own parking and private garden/ BBQ area. No smoking. Long term lease preferred. £850 p.c.m. plus deposit in advance. Call 01534 878889 3 BEDROOM HOUSE - PONTAC, ST CLEMENT Spacious family home in quiet cul-de-sac. 3 Bedrooms, open plan lounge/dining room, large kitchen bathroom, downstairs cloakroom. Safe enclosed garden overlooking fields, parking for 3 cars plus visitor parking. Close to St Clement primary/secondary schools. Owners motivated to sell,

no onward chain. Call 07797721312 3 BEDROOM FAMILY HOME St Saviour/St Clement area, close to beach, park and town. Well maintained three bedroom semidetached house for sale, perfect for a young family. Comprising of large kitchen diner and separate utility room. Sunny lounge with functional fireplace. Fantastic loft conversion currently being used as a study but could be used as a 4th bedroom. New roof. Double glazed with under floor and gas central heating. Small south facing garden. Sea views and parking for one car. Internal viewing a must.

Offers around £379,000 Call 07797 718410 HOLIDAY HOME IN KNYSNA, SOUTH AFRICA

Beautiful waterfront holiday home in Belvidere, Knysna, South Africa.

Perfect getaway for couples or families. Safe, fun and LOTS to do. Long or short term rentals available. Swimming pool. On the Garden Route. Sleeps 8. £1000 per month or £150-£250 per day, depending on season and length of rental. Visit www.singati. withtank.com Call 0027 83 400 5706 BEAUTIFUL 1 BEDROOM PENTHOUSE FLAT Beautiful 1 bedroom penthouse flat in St Aubin with stunning views across the harbour. Recently re-decorated to a high standard.

Flat compromises of: 1 Large bedroom with built in wardrobe Lounge/Dining area Newly fitted kitchen with a range of cupboard, fridge/freezer, washing machine and built in oven hob Newly fitted bathroom suite. There is also 1 allocated parking space and loft storage Rent is £1200 PCM £1500 Deposit Full Housing qualifications required If you would like to come and have a look please let me know as we are happy to accommodate

See all the latest Classifieds listings and place your own advertising FREE online...

this at any time. Flat is available from 01 December Call 07829 777617 DETACHED A-J 3 BEDROOM HOUSE - ST SAVIOUR A-j detached 3 bedroom house for rent in St Saviour. Tucked away in small private quiet cul de sac of just 3 houses. Close to St Saviour and Grainville schools, walk to the waterfront in 30 minutes.

Unfurnished. Parking for 4 cars. £1,650 Call 07797 740810 MUST SELL - LEAVING THE ISLAND Two bedroom property in St. Helier. 10 min walk to town centre.

2 designated parking spaces.

Safe enclosed garden. Offers invited and considered. Must sell due to leaving the Island. For further information or to arrange a viewing please call 724511 or 07797 756477 IMPOSING DETACHED 4 BEDROOM HOUSE Large Detached Granite House - St Ouen - £2,550 pcm - A-J An imposing four double bedroom, two bathroom detached granite property located in the West ideally situated close to all local amenities, bus routes and just a two minute drive to the beach. To the rear of the property there is a large sunny enclosed, mature garden offering total privacy. Parking for 3 to 4 cars plus a garage and external buildings which can be used as an office / den. Available to let to A-J Categories. £2,550 PCM Call 01534 861123 or 077977 88304 TWO BEDROOM TWO BATHROOM APARTMENT (A-J) Spacious 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom purpose built apartment with views over People’s Park.

Designated secure underground parking space, security intercom access, impressive communal areas and lift access to all floors.

The apartment is in excellent condition and features a fully fitted kitchen with integrated cooker, dishwasher and washer dryer, double glazing and Economy 7 heating. Lounge (26.9’) with Juliet balcony. Master bedroom with ensuite. Situated on the outskirts of town within easy walking distance of shops, the park and beach. £1,350 PCM Call 077977 61229

www.jerseyweekly.com 145

CLASSIFIEDS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 1 BED TOWN FLAT FOR RENT MARINA LOCATION Brand New Marina apartment at Castle Quay, partly furnished with high gloss latte fitted wardrobes a memory foam bed with draws and wall mounted plasma screen TV. The curtains in the bedroom and lounge are fully lined with blackout. Wooden floors run throughout finished to a very high standard The apartment benefits from a fully fitted German kitchen with all top end appliances and a separate cupboard in the hall way that houses the washer dryer. £975 PCM Call 077977 68817 NON-QUALS QUIET GARDEN FLAT WITH PARKING 1 double bedroom with shower on suite (no bath), plus 1 box room (box room 2.51m x 1.87m), Lounge/ Diner, Kitchen, Toilet, Storage area. Own entrance to garden and on site parking for 1 car. Part furnished, gas cooker and fridge on site. Available for professional persons only at £1,150 pcm for a couple or £1,046 pcm for single occupancy, plus own utility charges. Non smokers, Minimum 2 year agreement £1,046 Contact through jerseyweekly.com BEAUTIFUL CHARACTER 2 BEDROOM COTTAGE This lovely 2 bedroom cottage is just a minutes walk from the beach and has a garage and parking. The cottage has a large lounge/diner with working fireplace, a scullery with loads of storage cupboards, and a lovely bright fully fitted kitchen with integrated fridge, dishwasher, electric oven and hob. There is a large bathroom with bath and overhead power shower and 2 double bedrooms. Rental of £1,550 per month with a deposit equivalent to 1 months rent. Call 853512 (evenings) or 07797 797378 SPACIOUS 3 BED SEMI FOR SALE

steering, 2 ltr, all works. £1,250 Call 07700 366737

VEHICLES CITROEN XARA PICASSO,QUICK SALE!!!

Citroen Xara picasso, manual gearbox, year 2001, central lock, power steering, abs, cd player,electric windows and mirrors, in board computer, metallic silver colour, 93k miles on the clock(mostly motorways miles), good condition for a year, lot of space on the rear seats,and very big boot, perfect family car,quick sale,looking £1275, (or nearest offers)!!! Call 07797 901596 TOYOTA AVENSIS T2-VTI, TOP OF THE RANGE,IMMACULATE!!!

Spirit manual gearbox, silver metallic colour, 5 door,power steering,esp, abs, central lock, electric windows and mirrors, rear parking sensors, cd player, alloys wheels, on board computer, leather seats, too many to list, year late 2003. £4,250 Call 0782 9721156 MERCEDES BENZ 230 SLK KOMPRESSOR

Hard top convertible, automatic with only 22,500 miles on the clock. Alloy wheels, leather seats and 6 cd changer. Serviced November 2011 with full service history. More photos available on request. £4995 Serious offers considered. Please call 07829 707270, after 5pm on week days and any time at the weekend.

HONDA CIVIC TYPE R 2002 47000 miles good condition, £5,000 Call 07700 328909

This lovely family home is offered for sale at a sensible price. It has 3 bedrooms, a lounge, kitchen, dining room and sun room. Along with a spacious bathroom upstairs and a shower room downstairs this is the house that meets all your needs. Outside is a safe, enclosed rear garden with garage/workshop and on street parking for 2 cars. £415,000 Call 077977 2806

HYUNDAI TUSCANI 2.7 ELISE WITH ALPINE SUPERCHARGER 280HP 6 speed manual gearbox, 2004, only 24k miles, service history (just serviced, new clutch kit fitted, original hyundai parts), mint condition inside and outside (no scratches and indents), climacontrol, alpine supercharger aquacooled cost over 2k. £4,500 Call 07700 708888 GOLF FOR SALE Volkswagen Golf 1600 SE FSI, Automatic, Petrol, Registration year 2005, Mileage 29150, £3,995 Call 07829 868616 TOYOTA RAV4 Manual, 5 door, 4X4, electric windows/mirrors/sun roof, power

146

RENAULT MEGANE SCENIC RXE 2.0 1998 Renault Megane Scenic - body work and interior in very good clean condition. Seats 5. Excellent runner only 3 users from new.

96,000 miles. Metallic green.

Looking for quick sale hence price!! £850 Call 077977 32447 CHEVROLET LACETTI 1.6 SX 2006 AUTO 5 Door Hatchback, 50,000 Miles Good Condition, Air/Con ,Cd Player, Had Full Service Including Timing Belt 3000 Miles Ago, Alloy Wheels, 2495.00 Ono Call 07700 351086 SUZUKI INTRUDER 800 2007 Suzuki intruder great bike wired for tom tom tourer or commute to work very well balanced bike 800cc. £1,900 Call 077977 75709 VW GOLF GTI 2.

REDUCED PRICE VW Golf Gti 2.0, Manual, Year 2001,3 Door, Central Locking With Factory Alarm, Electric Windows, Cd/Radio/Cassette Player, Folding Rear Seats, Driver, Passenger And Side Airbags, Etc......Very Good Condition, £3599 Ono Please Call On 07797818035 Or 07797844915 For More Information Or To View, Selling Due To Lack Of Parking Space. **MUST GO** VW GOLF MK3 CABRIO 1.4 First registered 1994 (1995 model).

Ideal first car. Good looking and perfect summer car. Electric hood and mirrors. Full leather interior.

No electric windows or central locking. Economical, comfortable and reliable little car. Recently serviced. Open to offers. £1,100 Call 07829 790995 SUBARU IMPREZA RALLY CAR Subaru Impreza Rally car Jersey Weekly cover Car MSA log booked. Good straight car.

DVS approved. Well maintained.

Ran the entire 2011 JMC&LCC multi-surface rallies with No.1 on the Door Lots of Trophies to its name RHD Impreza GC8 with bolt in cage SIMTEK Management with Anti Lag and launch control; mapped for Jersey Fuel by Steve Simpson. (jacked Throttle) Haywood and Scott equal length manifold Repackable exhaust Prodrive Grp N Gear box with electric centre diff, Hydrolic vertical handbrake wired to diff release AP 6Pot front brakes (tarmac spec) new turbo fitted end of last season.

Kaylan Mudflaps 18” wheels with p-zero inters (tarmac spec) 15” Wheels with Kumho gravel (Dirt Spec) Can be sold as dirt spec or tarmac spec Sold Ready to rally.

Dirt Spec £9,000 Tarmac Spec £10,000 Call 077977 19655 BMW E36 328i,MINT

CONDITION Bmw e36 ,328i, auto with sport and economic mode,, abs, esp, power steering central lock, cd player, all electrics, alloys wheels with 4 new tyres, black metallic colour with black leather seats, year 1996. £1,950 Call 07797966905 MUST GO ,VW SHARAN 1.8 PETROL,OFFERS WELCOME VW Sharan Sport 1.8T Petrol ,Manual Gearbox, Metallic Light Green Colour, Year Late 2001 (After Face Lift), Power Steering,Central Locking, Esp, Abs, Cd Player, Onboard Computer, Electric Windows And Mirrors, Roof Racks, Alloys Wheels, 7 Seater. £1,895 Call 07700 33070 BMW 361I RACING GREEN Good condition, female owner, reluctant sale due to moving house with less parking space. MAKE BMW 361i YEAR - 1995 COLOUR - Racing Green MILEAGE - 53,700 EXTRAS - Central locking, Electric Sunroof, BMW Wheels, JVC Ten CD Multi- player, Electric Windows, Service History. £1,300 Call 07829 768411 AUDI A4 ESTATE,MINT CONDITION!!!

Audi S4 ,engine size 2,4 v6 petrol,5 door estate,auto/tiptronic gearbox(6 speed),year late 2002,esp,abs,central lock,power steering,electric windows and mirrors,alarm,cd player,roof rack,hook(never been used),rear parking sensors,alloys wheels with 4 new tyres,gun metallic colour with black leather interior,in board computer,to many to list,46k miles on the clock with fsh from new,one previous private owner,very big boot,immaculate condition in and out,perfect family car,price reduced,looking £4,175ono, (or nearest offers). Call 07797 902477 BMW 318i E46 Late 2001 blue BMW 318I, in very good condition in and out, 53,000 miles, no expenses spared. Service history plus I will get it serviced before the purchase for a lucky buyer. Tiptronic gearbox gives an option of full automatic or manual transmission, Full cream leather interior, CD changer, Climate Air Conditioning, rear parking sensors, Cruise control, electric windows, very dynamic, a pleasure to drive. Would consider a px for a BMW 1 series- preferably diesel. £4,395 Call 07700 362932 ORIGINAL FACTORY EDITION, REPSOL HONDA FIREBLADE (CBR1000RR)2005, Very good condition. Only 6500 miles. Only 2

Your weekly guide to the latest classifieds added to JerseyWeekly.com

CLASSIFIEDS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 owners. Power commander, Dark screen, R&G crash protectors.

Comes with a brand new set of Battlax Tires worth £200. Please no time wasters. £4,500 Call 07700 329119

HOME & GARDEN ROCKING HORSE

a second set of Cream covers to match. All covers machine washable. Very good condition £150 Call 01534 607862 TWO SEATER SETTEE Dark Blue 2 seater settee 5’ 10in Long X 3’ Wide, Along with a Second set of cream covers, complete with 4 scatter cushions with Red & Blue covers and a second set of Cream covers to match. All covers machine washable. Very good condition £100 Call 01534 607862 ARMCHAIR Armchair in good condition. Green fabric that has just been steam cleaned. Light beech woodwork.

De-cluttering so NLR. Offers around £18 Call 077977 82686

Beautiful full size brown plush rocking horse on slider looking for new stable, loves children. Need to sell as he is eating me out of house and home. £200 Call 077977 32330 4 TIER SHELVING UNIT, WOOD SHELVES WITH METAL FRAME 4 tier tall, dark pine wooden shelves for storage with silver metal frame £10 Call 07797 718060

WHITE KITCHEN BITS & BOBS A change in kitchen decor means I have the following items for sale: a white cordless kettle, a white two slot toaster, a white tea/coffee/ sugar canister set, a white utensils holder, a white teapot. They have all been used but are in excellent condition. Bargain at £25 for the lot. Please ring 855523.

FOR SALE BLACK LEATHER RECLINER CHAIR

PINE TABLE AND 4 CHAIRS Light pine table, medium in size, oblong in shape. Great condition, ideal for family dining room as it seats 4 with 4 included chairs.

Bargain as this is offered at SALE price. £110 Call 07797 718060 BEAUTIFUL CREAM FUTON SOFA BED Nearly new cream futon sofa bed with wooden arms. futon is as comfortable for sleeping, as it is for lounging. less than a year old and only been used twice for visitors in spare room. L 198cm x W 86cm (130cm open as bed) Mattress 15cm thick £350 ono Call 07797 816797 SINGLE PINE BED FRAME Single Pine Bed Frame 2 x Frame Ends 2 x Borders Joined slats 4 x Allen bolts 4 x Barrel nuts CSK screws & wooden dowels included Simple to set up Combined joined slats for ease. (St Saviours Road) Quick easy bed solution just add own mattress £20 Call 077979 61460 THREE SEATER SETTEE

Royal Blue 3 seater settee 7’ 6in Long X 3’ Wide, Along with a Second set of cream covers, complete with 5 scatter cushions with Red, & Blue covers and

Black Leather Recliner Chair for Sale, excellent condition, 12 months old, bought new for £249.

Must be collected. £100 Please call 01534 865578 after 6pm TWO VINTAGE MIRRORS Two vintage mirrors with perfect reflective surfaces. One is oval with light wood surround and the other has a gilded metal frame. offers around £15. Call 077977 82686. .

BEKO OVEN Beko White Electric oven with 4 electric hobs. 4 years old but good condition, sale required as having new kitchen fitted. Ready for collection from 16th December.

350 Call 077977 78648 ICANDY PEAR PUSHCHAIR This pram is currently set up for a baby and a toddler although i do have the other seat so That it can sit 2 toddlers, so many seating options with this pram that you will not be disappointed.

It will also seat the maxi cosi car-seats with the adapters.

This pram is like brand new and hardly used as my toddler now refuses to go in a pram and wants to walk. I also have the rain covers, cup holders, umbrellas and shopping hooks... like new and to be collected from St Ouen.

Asking £400. Please text or call if interested -07797760531 CHERRY WOOD DROP LEAF BREAKFAST TABLE Cherry Wood Drop Leaf Breakfast Table Pedestal Base with Drawer Size 26 x 26 inches; Opens to 26 x 54 inches Quality piece of furniture £125 Call 07797 713147 ITALIAN CREAM CORNER SOFA Perfect condition, less than a year old. 38” high. 83” long to one corner. 82” long to other corner.

Downsizing so need to let it go. It is a great bargain for someone, as it looks and feels (and smells) brand new. Prefer text on 07797 818040 BOAT ENGINE FOR SALE Diesel Inboard Boat Engine.

Complete And Runs Sweet. £500 ono Call 01534 746678

Mint condition. Well looked after.

Only year old. £500 Call 01534 880776 PANASONIC LUMIX G3 Only used for few months. Colour black. In mint condition. Will include camera bag. £250 Contact through jerseyweekly.com COMPACT PHOTO PRINTER Selphy Compact Photo Printer for Sale. Never used, all accessories still sealed. New printers priced at £145. £100 Please call 01534 865578 after 6pm IPOD IBASS SPEAKERS iPod iBass speakers, £10 Call 07797 843769 IPHONE 4S 16GB BRAND NEW NOT BEEN TOUCHED.

BRADSTONE WEATHERED RIVEN COTSWOLD SLABS. Surplus to requirements.

Enough slabs to cover 10 sq meters eighteen 675 x 450 six 450 x 450 six 225 x 450 £150 Call 077977 39466 DINING TABLE AND 6 CHAIRS Dark wood, glass top over raphia, rectangular dining table and six matching chairs. Good clean condition. Table measuring: 3ft2 or 96cm wide - 4ft11 or 1m50 long and 2ft6 or 77cm high. To be collected. Other matching items are also available if required, i.e. sideboard, nest of tables, bookcase to complete dining room furniture area. £150 Call 01534 724282 2 LOVELY CHOCOLATE LEATHER SOFAS FOR SALE 2 Lovely Chocolate Brown Leather Identical Sofas for sale.

1 x 2 Seater and 1 x 3 seater both are in excellent condition. £275.00 ono Call 07829 747032

ELECTRICAL IMAC LEOPARD OSX10.5.8 upgraded to OSX 10.5.8 20 in screen. with wired mouse and keyboard includes all loaded programs including QuarkExpress, Microsoft Office, iWord. iLife, Adobe Design CS3...etc In prefect working order, ready to use, just plug in,switch on and you are all set to go. My reason for selling... just acquired another iMac so surplus to my needs....two computers plus a laptop is just too much. Available immediately for pickup as unable to deliver. £200 Call 01534 856123 PLAYSTATION 3 GUITAR HERO WIRELESS DRUM KIT As new wireless drum kit with 2 games -Guitar Hero World Tour and Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock. £35 ono Call 07797 816797 IPHONE 4 - 16gb Unlocked. Comes with case, headphones and USB charger.

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Brand new Iphone 4S 16GB for sale UNLOCKED, only selling because got an other iPhone through my company contract. Willing to sell for £595 Call 077977 19383 IPHONE 4 , 32GB FOR SALE Excellent condition comes boxed with all original accessories.

Unlocked to any network. Great phone, just can’t get used to it after using htc for so long. Send message anytime or call 07829 981629 between 1pm and 5pm SMALL, MODERN CD/TAPE/ RADIO PLAYER Small modern cd/tape/radio player (philips) with light wooden speakers x 2 and modern centre unit, couple of years old but hardly used so excellent condition - only selling as no use for it now i have my i-Pod. timer, shuffle, clock, repeat butttons. speakers: £40 ono Call 07797 819140

SPORT & LEISURE ELECTRA HAWAII 20” GIRLS BIKE FOR SALES

Great Girls Bike In Excellent Condition - Need To Sell As We Have Got A Larger Bike Now Electra Hawaii Single-Speed 20-

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CLASSIFIEDS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011 Inch Girls Bike (2011) Frame: Stream Ride Hi-Ten Steel w/ Patented Flat Foot Technology® Fork: Steel Unicrown Cranks: Classic Steel One Piece Bottom Bracket: 9-PC Loose Ball. £65 Call 01534 629916 ORKNEY STRIKELINER 16 + WITH TRAILER CUDDY 30HP OUTBOARD LOOKING TO SWAP Up for sale is my Orkney Strikeliner 16 + complete with cuddy nav lights fish finder vhf and four wheeled trailer and fish finder the deck needs a re-paint but that’s all engine is ten years old and very reliable cruises at 20 knots two up and fishing gear good fun boat looking to get something bigger would consider swap for larger vessel or asking £2,850 Call 07797 963267 CHILDS BLUE RIDGEBACK MX14 BIKE WITH STABILISERS AGE 3-6 YRS Child’s Bike Blue MX14 Light aluminium frame , brakes with anti skid modulator and stabilisers, 3-6yrs As New. £70 Call 07797 731771 21FT COAST WORKER 21ft coast worker for sale in need of refit, these boats are very well known for their good sea handling ability, the sale includes the boat and cuddy 90hp mariner and a good strong road trailer. Must go as I don’t have time to complete it.

GENERAL

£1,000 Call 07829 798724

CHILDRENS CLOTHES Polkadot hooded jacket 5yrs new from Next £6.95 Pretty flower fleece hooded top 5-6yrs new from Next £10 Pink Ski Jacket 5-6yrs new+tags (from Next) £35 Gorgeous bicycle warm top 4-5yrs new £11.95 Purple velour joggers 2 pack 4-5yrs new Next £5.95 Peppa Pig tunic set new from Next 5-6yrs £15 Peppa Pig cord dress 5-6yrs new with tags from Next £1 plus much more. Contact through jerseyweekly.com

EARLY LEARNING CENTRE LETTER LION - NEW Learn the alphabet and have fun!

ELC letter lion, which also doubles as a cuddly toy! New, no box £10 Contact through jerseyweekly. com LAMAZE PLAY HOUSE GYM NEW, NO BOX Lamaze baby play house gym, with accessories. New, no box. £20 Contact through jerseyweekly. com 170 LTR UN-VENTED PRESSURISED STAINLESS STEEL HOT WATER TANK PLUS INSTALLATION 170 litre un-vented stainless steel hot water tank perfect for replacing an old leaking copper cylinder there is still 20 years of guarantee left on it , half the price of a conventional copper cylinder and can be connected to your central heating the tank is complete and in perfect condition asking £300 cost £1000 new, I can even install it for you at extra cost as i am qualified to do so. Please contact me for full details. Free delivery £300 Call 07829 798724 BOAT TRAILER 19 foot boat trailer for sale £240 ono Call 077977 69219 ZODIAC DINGHY FOR SALE Zodiac Cadet 260s Dinghy for Sale. Second-hand and in very good seaworthy condition.

Includes oars, foot pump and repair kit. Can deliver locally, if necessary. £250 ono Call 736881 4 DIGIT NUMBER J9659 for sale; please phone Call 078298 00334 MAMAS AND PAPAS COT Mamas and Papas, Helena pine cot, without mattress, excellent condition £50.00 Call 07797 750887 ENGINE OIL - BARGAIN! Engine oil - semi synthetic 10/40 two x 5 litres £15 each, bargain!

Tel 520852

ACCESS VALETING

TRADE CARDS iPHONE 3 OR 4, CRACKED OR BROKEN LCD SCREEN REPAIR Have you managed to drop and crack your screen? or maybe your screen isn’t working properly? Don’t be fooled when shops tell you its a time consuming and expensive job, and charge you £198 I can replace your broken, damaged or scratched part with a brand new genuine Apple product. You can drop it off to me and I will have it repaired and ready for you to collect in an hour. £80 Please call, text or email for more info on 07829 705115 DAVID DE GRUCHY CARPENTER AND JOINER LTD I am a self-employed Carpenter with 30 years experience. Work includes any big or small jobs including painting, decorating and block-work. I also do decking and plaster boarding. I have a Tipper Truck for delivering or dumping items. Please ring Mobile 07797727018 or Home 723460.

STYLE AND COLOUR CONSULTATIONS, INCLUDING PERSONAL SHOPPING Style Matters offers style, image and colour consultations for women. A full consultation will show you the most flattering colours to wear for your natural colouring and what clothing styles will be best for your body shape. £80 - £180 Call 07700 702290 HEALTH AND LIFESTYLE SCREENINGS Total Health Care Service is now operating in the Channel Islands. We hold clinics in various locations including regular sessions at the Grand Hotel and Spa (St Helier).

Home visits are available at an additional cost. Screenings start from £25.00 for a basic screen to £165.00 for a total screen, please contact us to discuss your needs. Phone: 01534

728091 Mobile: 07797841299 Mobile: 07925983272 Email: nurse@totalhealthcareservice. com (full classified ad on jerseyweekly.com) HANDYMAN - FASTFIX Free call out charge during normal hours - affordable rates - no silly prices - polite reliable professional service. local handyman; jobs completed in and around the house/garden.

Give me a call for an unbiased chat, information about jobs that I cover. Fully insured 10% discount for seniors (over 65) Call 01534 625106 or 07829 955500

WANTED WANTED PARKING SPACE Wanted permanent/full time parking space in town close to halkett place for staff. Please contact 722227.

AUDIO MIXER WANTED 3+ channel mixer wanted with XLR inputs. Anything considered £50 offered max.

Call 07797 814229 WANTED FULL OR PART TIME WORK 19 year old, keen sailor, first aid trained, two years engineering at highlands - looking full or part time anything considered.

Call 07797 893525 LOOKING FOR A 21FT UP TO 30FT FAMILY BOAT IN ANY CONDITION I am looking for a 21ft up to 30ft family boat in any condition that I can work on over the winter ready to enjoy next summer looking to spend up to £5000 Call 07829 798724 WANTED VW CAMPERVAN VW camper-van with sink and accessories - pop up roof if possible. £8,000 Contact through jerseyweekly.com

Let your car show its true colours

Free Vehicle Check

Oil - Break Fluid - Windscreen Wash - Tyre Pressure - Coolant with all valets in December with this voucher

telephone 07797 711113 or email - enquiries@accessvalet.je. see our website for more details - www.accessvalet.je

Access Valeting has moved to a new central Town location in Seaton Lane, next Squire’s Pub. So whether you are on your way to work or just going shopping, let Access Valeting make sure you return with a nice clean car.

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Your weekly guide to the latest classifieds added to JerseyWeekly.com

FEATURES

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Guidescopes

Written by Tracy Poskitt, www.tracyguidelinesinternational.com

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

21 MAR - 20 APR

21 APR - 21 MAY

22 MAY - 21 JUN

22 JUN - 22 JUL

Great results come from a work choice this week. Be adventurous when it comes to making that loved one feel special. Self-belief becomes strong when you take charge of a situation. A feeling of self worth gets stronger as compliments come to you from all angles.

Healing Colour Jade Lucky Number 3

Time alone is well starred, use this time wisely when dealing with legal dealings and a contract that appears daunting will lead to good foundation in the future. Be sure to have everything checked thoroughly by a legal body and all will be well in the end.

Clearing out old relationships with friends who you thought were on your side will make space for loved ones to become closer. Family bonds are made stronger as people are moving in the right direction. A solution to a money worry will be found by Wednesday.

A trip to the country helps you gain a clear mind when thinking about house moves. A friend from afar contacts you with good news about a family member. A much clearer mind is on the horizon by Sunday regarding the right course of action to take at work.

Healing Colour Brown Lucky Number 11

Healing Colour Orange Lucky Number 8

Healing Colour Green Lucky Number 1

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

23 JUL - 23 AUG

24 AUG - 22 SEP

23 SEP - 23 OCT

24 OCT - 22 NOV

The World is your oyster on Thursday when it comes to that all important decision as your career moves fast after the weekend. Finance is a little stretched but mindful budgeting will only be required short term.

Travel plans are discussed and well featured for you to take the break you’ve till now only dreamed of. Think hard about your decisions between two people when it comes to a love choice. Pressures of the heart will feel uplifted at last by Saturday.

Healing Colour Gold Lucky Number 18

Healing Colour Yellow Lucky Number 4

The diet that you’ve been trying proves a great success on Thursday. Health and energy uplifts as stress releases by the end of the week. The encouragement you’ve been searching for leads to the career move that’s long standing, finances are up at last.

Healing Colour White Lucky Number 20

Listen carefully around friends as the person with the initial A could become more than a admirer. Take every opportunity this week to fill up that social diary. Luck is well in when you see an old flame over a crowded room.

Decisions made this week around money plans.

Healing Colour Purple Lucky Number 9

Capricorn

Aquarius

21 JAN - 18 FEB

19 FEB - 20 MAR

Secure bonds between you and that special someone this week. Don’t hold back your inner feelings, clear away old debris and make room for new beginnings. Luck strikes when you see a white door opening up to financial fluidity. Check investments for improvement.

Travel is well starred overseas. Success from a hidden talent is well featured on Wednesday and watch for a secret love match to a Libra.

Finances are on their way up.

Enjoy time with friends who you haven’t seen for a while on a shopping spree.

Health is improving this week for the first time in a long time.

A loved one who is moving closer to your heart to make your future a bit more solid.

Income becomes more regular this week. Sorting out your time to accommodate family expansion puts you on a high.

Look carefully at a work promotion opportunity on Friday. This is the chance to move on to the first step of the ladder. A Taurus gives you the compliment you need to boost your confidence. A night out is just the ticket for relaxation on Wednesday.

Healing Colour Blue Lucky Number 12

Healing Colour Red Lucky Number 2

Healing Colour Silver Lucky Number 7

Healing Colour Violet Lucky Number 6

Sagittarius

23 NOV - 21 DEC

22 DEC - 20 JAN

See all the latest local news, national news, weather and articles online…

Pisces

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Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

PHOTOS

Photos See more photos, order prints and book an event photographer at JerseyEvents.com

Jamie Lee’s 21st Birthday Party

By Tom White

Jersey Events is dedicated to promoting local photography work. To showcase and sell your work, email hello@jerseyevents.com

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The latest photos from local events in your weekly full-colour guide.

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Ice Skate Jersey 17th December

PHOTOS

by Ian Paine

Call 885940 to book Jersey Events photographers to capture your parties, balls and other events in high-resolution

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www.jerseyevents.com

151

PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jersey Weekly Christmas Party

16th December

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jersey Weekly Christmas Party

16th December

Call 885940 to book Jersey Events photographers to capture your parties, balls and other events in high-resolution

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

BBC Christmas Party

16th December

Supplied by kandidprints.co.uk

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The latest photos from local events in your weekly full-colour guide.

PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

BBC Christmas Party

16th December

Supplied by kandidprints.co.uk

Call 885940 to book Jersey Events photographers to capture your parties, balls and other events in high-resolution

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

St Ouen v St John

17th December

by Ian Paine

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

St Ouen v St John

17th December

by Ian Paine

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Carols for Christmas

15th December

by Ian Paine

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Carols for Christmas

15th December

by Ian Paine

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PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jamie Lee’s 21st Birthday Party

17th December

by Tom White

Call 885940 to book Jersey Events photographers to capture your parties, balls and other events in high-resolution

160

The latest photos from local events in your weekly full-colour guide.

PHOTOS

Issue 112, Friday, 23rd December 2011

Jamie Lee’s 21st Birthday Party

17th December

by Tom White

Call 885940 to book Jersey Events photographers to capture your parties, balls and other events in high-resolution

See all local event photography, download images and order prints online‌

www.jerseyevents.com

161

Jersey Weekly, Jersey Events and all at Agent Design would like to share a warm thank you to all our readers, contributors and advertisers for your support this year. We’ll be taking well-earned break now and be back again when the sun is shining.

Please keep sending us your feedback and we’ll keep working hard to keep you in-the-know.

JerseyWeekly.com and JerseyEvents.com are your websites, so get involved and help us to shape and grow them in 2012 and beyond...

Clear investment. Pure energy.

Gas bill. Oil bill.

Ouch. Megahertz.

Wow. Electricity prices frozen for a third winter.

Domestic oil and gas prices have risen by an uncomfortable *87% and *41% in the past two years to June, while Jersey Electricity prices have fallen.

We cut prices by 5% in 2010, froze them this year and now we’re maintaining tariffs at current levels again to help you keep warm this winter. That’s twoand-a-half years of stable prices.

Affordable, secure and sustainable electricity.

Isn’t it time you made the switch?

Tel 505460 www.jec.co.uk

OIL

UP 87%

GAS

UP 41%

ELECTRICITY DOWN 5%

*Source: States of Jersey Statistics Unit, RPI & CPC Reports June 2011 (Oil +27%; Gas +22%). RPI Report June 2010 (Oil +47%; Gas +15%)