TIFERES תראפת
S E F I R A S E R I E S WWW ADAIAD ORG @ADAI_AD
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 1/6]
EXPRESSIONS OF TIFERES
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EXPRESSIONS OF TIFERES
Literal definition: Beauty.
In other words: Rachmonus (merciful compassion). Empathy. Truth. Harmony. Balance of Chesed & Gevurah.
Expressions of Tiferes: Beauty is typically produced through the juxtaposition, contrast and balance of colors and textures. Similarly, Tiferes is the perfect beautiful balance of the two opposing qualities – unconditional, unlimited giving (Chesed) and judgment (Gevurah) – which results in a new quality: empathy, and merciful compassion. Tiferes is a harmony of Kindness and Discipline, expressed with compassion, empathy and mercy.
Tiferes is giving the perfect amount according to the needs of the recipient Tiferes, therefore, listens for cues and feedback from the other person before deciding what and how to give. This is compassion based on empathy.
Empathy is about withholding our judgments and attentively tuning in to what is happening for the other, listening to their perspective and how they perceive the situation.
Merciful compassion is about withholding judgment that the other may not really deserve but giving anyway with a full heart of love and kindness.
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 2/6]
INTEGRATING TIFERES INTO YOUR LIFE #1
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INTEGRATING TIFERES INTO YOUR LIFE #1
3 dimensions of empathy.
Understanding the three types of empathy can help you build stronger, healthier relationships.
Cognitive empathy also known as ‘perspective-taking’, enables you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes - but without necessarily engaging with their emotions. Cognitive empathy makes you a better communicator, because it helps you relay information in a way that best reaches the other person
Emotional empathy is when you quite literally feel the other person’s emotions alongside them, as if you had ‘caught’ the emotions. This type of empathy helps you build emotional connections with others (Be wary of taking on and becoming overwhelmed by those emotions and not being able to respond effectively.)
Compassionate empathy, or empathic concern, is feeling someone’s pain, and taking action to help. When someone wants or needs your empathy, they don’t just need your cognitive or emotional empathy, they need you to understand what they are going through and, crucially, either take, or help them to take, action to resolve the problem, which is compassionate empathy.
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 3/6]
INTEGRATING TIFERES INTO YOUR LIFE #2
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INTEGRATING TIFERES
INTO YOUR LIFE #2
Empathy in positive experiences too.
Empathy and compassion are also about responding appropriately to their positive experiences. Being happy with them. Being excited with them.
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 4/6]
INTEGRATING TIFERES INTO YOUR LIFE #3
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INTEGRATING TIFERES
INTO YOUR LIFE #3
Empathy is about trying to understand the other person.
Think about what you already know about the person and how they typically respond in similar situations. Try to place yourself in the situation – from their perspective. Then, tailor your support for this particular person – not how you or others might want or need
It is also about recognizing that everyone experiences life differently. Sometimes, it may be hard to understand why someone is responding to a situation in the way they are it is worthwhile to remember that you don’t have the full picture; they may be dealing with factors you are unaware of. Additionally, if you were actually in that situation, you may behave differently than you think you would.
Keeping these points in mind will affect how you view the other person and influence how you deal with them.
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 5/6]
REFLECTIONS ABOUT TIFERES IN YOUR MARRIAGE
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REFLECTIONS ABOUT TIFERES IN YOUR MARRIAGE
How do you act with Tiferes in your marriage?
1. Balance? Do you generally act with Tiferes – giving beautifully, the perfect balance of Chesed and Gevurah? Are there certain circumstances in which you do express yourself with Tiferes, empathy, and others you do not; why is that?
2. Giving. How compassionate is your giving, even when you feel that your giving is not ‘deserved’? How might your spouse describe your giving? Why is that? What can you do differently?
3. Appropriateness. Do you generally act with the right balance for the situation? What are some examples of that?
4. Feedback? How do you express negative feedback such as disappointment? How do you react to negative feedback from your spouse? Are those conversations respectful so that each feels heard and even empowered? Would your spouse agree; how do you know?
5. Empathy? Do you look at situations with empathy, withholding your judgment and attentively tuning in to what is happening for the other person? Do you listen to their perspectives and how they perceive the situation? Do you ask for their perspective and point of view?
What will you do to enhance empathy and compassion in your marriage and family life?
TIFERES תראפת
[PART 6/6]
TALK TOGETHER ABOUT TIFERES IN YOUR MARRIAGE
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TALK TOGETHER ABOUT TIFERES IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Ask your spouse: "What is your ‘empathy language’; how do you prefer I show empathy – what words or actions work best for you; what doesn’t work?" "When was a time that you felt that I really ‘got you’; what did I do to make you feel that way?"
Be brave, ask for insight and feedback: "What was a time when I missed the mark and didn’t empathize or act with the compassion you needed? What could I do differently in the future?"
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