YOUR CHILD AND FAMILY When your child talks about what has happened First responses can be hard to manage. You may be unsure about how you responded to the conversation or wish you had done things differently. Your child may disclose more information about what happened over time. Any time a child shares information about sexual abuse, please use the following as a guide to respond: ♥ Stop what you are doing and listen carefully. ♥ Remain as calm as possible. ♥ Reassure them that they are doing the right thing by telling; recognise their bravery. ♥ Reassure your child that they are NOT responsible for the abuse. ♥ Let your child talk in their own words and at their own pace. Let them tell you what they are ready to talk about. ♥
Asking questions may change the type of, or how much information, your child is willing to share. It may also impact how the criminal justice systems view this information and its validity. You can ask questions to determine the immediate safety needs of your child. Limit these to open-ended questions like the ones below.
♥ Avoid promises that can’t be kept, for example “I won’t tell anyone” or “That person will go to jail and you will never have to see them again”. ♥ Tell your child what you plan to do next. ♥ If the person who enacted the sexual abuse against your child is over the age of 18 years avoid any contact with them. ♥
If the person who sexually harmed your child is another child in your home, circumstances will look different. It will be important to work with the key support services shown on page 02 to identify how you can manage the safety within your home. Safety planning could be a good place to start (see page 12 of this booklet).
Letting someone know about sexual abuse is a process. Sometimes, as part of that process, a child might take back what they said and retract the disclosure. Some children will then later reaffirm what happened to them, others will not. This does not mean the abuse didn’t happen. Retracting disclosures can be a normal part of the disclosure process.
03 | NAVIGATING THE UNKNOWN
