Message from the Director of Admissions
Dear Friend,
After a few short months, summer came and went. We spend so much time making the best of our summers and just like that, the first day of school is here. A new school year, a new chapter in our journey, and new opportunities to make it the best year yet! There is so much to learn, accomplish, and experience in your new year. While these experiences all help us grow, it isn't always easy. In this issue of Flight 1882, you will find stories from your fellow Pilots who share their experiences of coping with the unknown and embracing change. You'll also find tips and advice from our dedicated counselors, who'll remind you to take good care of yourself during times of transition and be your own biggest champion! One way I energize myself to tackle new challenges is through running. I have a playlist that keeps me energized and I put it on whenever I need a little push during my challenging runs. Do you have one, too? Whether you have a go-to playlist or not, we have an activity in this issue for you! So prepare to get your adrenaline pumping, to be inspired, and get ready for what's ahead!
In the words of the brilliant singer Goapele, like you, I'm working to get "Closer to My Dreams."
Enjoy the flight, Pilots!
Yordana Simpson Director of Admissions
Tips from Counselors
to manage change and stress
One of my favorite authors, Dr. Lisa Damour, said about anxiety: “Unfortunately, anxiety, like stress, has gotten a bad rap. Somewhere along the line, we got the idea that emotional discomfort is always a bad thing” (Under Pressure, 2019). Emotional discomfort, while challenging in real-time, can be the precursor to emotional growth and improved consciousness.
Remember, you can’t help or be there for others if you aren’t there for yourself first. So put yourself first every once in a while! Take some time in nature, get your nails done, nap, eat ice cream
High school is a time when you, like other teens, might be trying to figure out who you are. To be the most authentic, accepting version of yourself, I recommend releasing the following things: past regrets; things you have no control over; self-doubt and comparison; the need to please everyone; and, unrealistic expectations of yourself.
Dr. Lisa Damour talks about helping students alleviate some pressure by getting them to think about things they can control vs. things they cannot control. This fits nicely with the Serenity Prayer, which I share often with students:
“God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Try to “reframe” a negative or stressful situation or thought. For example, when you think, “This day has started out so bad, and nothing is going right, and it’s going to be a terrible day,” you can reframe that thought to “This day can only go up from here, and I have learned how to manage a stressful situation.”
I met my first best friend in elementary school. It was a K-8 school and so our friendship lasted many years. I thought she would be my best friend for life, but God had other plans. She, along with the rest of our friend group, selected a different high school. I felt sure of my decision to attend OLP, just as she felt sure of her chosen school. We promised each other we would do everything in our power to maintain our friendship, including spending time together after school and on weekends.
A Short Lived Promise
But the promise lasted only one month. It was our freshman year of high school and, while she kept many of our elementary-school friends, I was struggling to make new friends. There were days when I felt lonely and nights when I cried myself to sleep. I felt forgotten knowing my best friend had made other best friends at her new school and my previous friend group continued to be friends without me. It was a difficult decision to let go of my friends, but I knew I had to, and that ultimately it would create space for new friendships.
Connection and Confidence
After a few challenging weeks, I
made a new friend, who is my second and current best friend! After connecting with her, I gained confidence that I was likeable and deserving of friendship, which gave me the courage to introduce myself to more people and make more friends! Joining the water polo team also helped, as the players and coach were so welcoming. My current friend group consists of three people, and we spend every break and lunch together. We support each other, laugh together, and share life’s ups and downs.
Quality over Quantity
We may not be the largest friend group on campus, but when it comes to friendships, quality matters more than quantity. Of course I still think about my old friends from time to time, but I’m not lonely anymore. I feel excited for the next three years with my new friends, just like my former best friend must feel about her new friends. Some friendships don’t last forever, but they make an imprint on our hearts and reside in our memories, and in that way we take them with us.
step 1 FE A R AND HOW TO FACE IT by
change
Rylie Sandler ‘25
Change can be incredibly difficult and scary. When I first entered OLP, I feared I would struggle to fit in and find my people. I came from a small, co-ed middle school, and I initially felt intimidated by the size of the student population and the all-girl, Catholic environment. It was just so different than my middle school. But I soon realized this change in environments helped me find my true self and be successful academically, socially, and emotionally. Having recently experienced the switch from middle school to high school, and currently managing the stress that comes with applying to colleges and universities, I found that three stages are true of any change. I’m sharing them with you, so hopefully, they can help you with your upcoming transition to high school. That way, should you happen to feel some of the same feelings, you’ll have the information needed to navigate change!
Change can bring up feelings of fear because it involves navigating the unknown. As I mentioned previously, when I was a freshman at OLP, I feared I wouldn’t fit in or find friends. My best friend was going to another high school, and only a few girls from my middle school were joining me at OLP. However, my fears melted away almost immediately when, during the first week of class, a couple of my classmates smiled at me and asked me to be in their group for a learning activity. It took only minutes for me to see that OLP girls are the definition of girls supporting girls – they’re kind, welcoming, and accepting.
After my first week as a freshman, I thought, “Wow, this transition is easier than I thought it would be.” I would not have thought that if it weren’t for one of my Link Crew leaders. She helped me face the biggest change in my life, which was balancing an increased academic load with athletics and personal matters. It’s her strategy that I still use to this day. She advised me to separate the things I had going on into boxes. She said, “Pick out of the box what you want to deal with that day. You don’t have to take out everything. One at a time.” To this day, we keep in contact, and I know she is rooting me on from college.
step 2 ACCEPTANCE step 3 SUCCESS
In the last three years of high school, I have undergone significant changes. I have learned who I am, what my strengths are, where I need to invest my time to improve, what I believe, what motivates me, and who my friends are. My family, friends, and teachers have been my rocks as I evolved into my true self. Though it wasn’t always easy, I am so proud of who I have become. I am someone who believes in herself, who doesn’t shy away from challenges, and who tries her best regardless of the outcome. I feel so grateful for the culture of kindness at OLP that allowed me to overcome my fear of failure, helped me develop self-confidence, challenged me to work hard toward my goals, and encouraged me to be the best version of myself.
Ask a Sister
by Melania Attar ‘24
What's your favorite memory or event from high school?
One of the most cherished moments from my time at school was when my two sisters, Sarai '28 and Naomi, joined me for Sister Shadow Day. It was an incredibly touching experience to have them, both future pilots, walk alongside me for a day and get a glimpse into life at OLP.
Who is the most inspiring teacher you have had at OLP?
Mr. Paluso, my math teacher, holds a special place as one of the most influential figures during my time at OLP. His blend of humor, brilliance, and genuine care for his students extends beyond the classroom, making him an invaluable mentor in both math and life challenges.
If you could go back to your freshman year, what would you do differently?
Reflecting on my freshman year, some of which was spent learning via Zoom, I realize the value of broadening my social circles. If given the chance, I would make a conscious effort to befriend a more diverse range of classmates. Building connections enriches our experiences and creates lasting memories.
What’s a good way I can maintain good grades and play a sport at the same time?
Juggling Advanced Placement (AP) classes alongside tennis practice and matches presented a significant challenge for me. However, my top recommendation is to complete assignments promptly upon receiving them. While it may seem daunting, tackling homework and studying immediately is far preferable to staying up past midnight to complete them. This approach not only relieves stress but also ensures more effective time management and better overall performance.
What should I order at the Malecot Cafe?
When it comes to choosing from the menu at Malecot Cafe, the freshly baked chocolate croissants stand out as a must-have! The combination of buttery pastry and rich chocolate filling never fails to satisfy my sweet cravings.
What’s your favorite spot on campus and why?
Without a doubt, my favorite spots on campus are the cozy nooks scattered throughout Shiley and Navarra Halls. These secluded corners provide the perfect retreats for focused studying or casual conversations with friends during breaks.
How do you take notes during class?
My favorite way to take notes in class is to start my work before the lecture has even started! I find that coming to class prepared and already knowledgeable on the topic being discussed allows me to understand and retain more of the lecture.
Submit your question for your big sisters here!
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Have you ever noticed how your favorite song can lift your mood when you’re feeling down? Or perhaps you were struggling on a run, but once an energizing tune played, it gave you the boost you needed to keep going. Music can power positive emotions. A good song has the ability to elevate your spirits, boost self-confidence, and silence that inner critic. These are all great reasons to create your own playlist of songs that positively affect your brain! Use these tunes to fuel your inner confidence and tackle your next challenge, whether it’s a sports performance, a speech, or a presentation at school. Find songs that bring you joy, energize you, and remind you of the powerful force you are! Here are some of our faculty and staff’s favorite songs:
EMBRACE THE BUTTERFLIES
Understanding and coping with pre-performance nerves
You’re standing by the side of the football pitch, waiting for the match to start. You’ve been practising for weeks to get ready for this moment. But though you’ve been looking forward to playing your favourite sport and representing your team, your stomach churns and you feel your heart hammering in your chest. Part of you even thinks about running away and hiding.
Natural reaction
Nerves before a contest of any kind are normal. Whether you’re on a sports team, competing in an activity such as dance or gymnastics, or auditioning for a role in the school play, these kinds of scenarios can all give rise to anxiety. But getting to grips with why it happens and learning some tools to turn down the heat (see overleaf) can stop the nerves from taking over.
One cause of these jittery feelings is wanting to do well in others’ eyes. ‘Usually, people find these situations
nerve-racking because of a fear of judgment,’ says Zoé Carroll, who specialises in sports and performance coaching and is based in East Sussex in the UK.
‘We don’t want to let other people down.’ This is especially true if we’re part of a team or representing our school or town in a competition.
You may feel pressure and believe that you have to win to avoid disappointing others who are watching or supporting you. ‘Being judged will cause stress because we want to be seen to be really good,’ adds Zoé. ‘We worry that, if we get anything wrong, people will judge us negatively, and that doesn’t feel very nice.’
Self-doubt
Some people find that doubts about their abilities set off the stress. You may worry that you haven’t rehearsed or practised enough, or that you aren’t as good as others think you are. Even if you’ve previously been feeling
confident, you may suddenly find that you question your capability just as you’re about to go into the situation.
‘If you don’t believe you can achieve something, then it can be harder to achieve it,’ says Zoé. ‘Believe you can do it and you’re giving yourself the best chance of success.’
In netball, for example, Zoé says that if you believe you’re going to shoot the netball through the hoop, you’re much more likely to do so. If you tell yourself you can’t do it, however, your brain passes on this lack of conviction to your body, making it harder to score.
Reframe the feelings
Butterflies and sweaty palms before you perform, or even sleepless nights in the run-up, can be difficult to deal with. You might feel on edge or struggle to focus on other things. If you’re finding it hard to cope, consider talking to someone
you trust to help put your worries and the upcoming event into perspective.
It’s also good to remember that these feelings are often your body preparing itself for what’s ahead. Zoé says it’s helpful to reframe the symptoms of nerves in a positive way.
‘The feelings are your body preparing for performance,’ she says. ‘[It’s] preparing your heart, your lungs, your nervous system, [even] where your blood is. If you see that as nerves, it feels like a negative. But what’s really happening is what we call “activating”. It’s [your body]getting ready to perform at your absolute best.’
Try turning it around so you recognise these feelings as a help rather than a hindrance. And when you’re waiting to take the stage or run onto the pitch and feel your heart racing, remind yourself that your body and brain know what they’re doing and are getting you ready. You can do this.
Prepare for positivity
Zoé’s five pointers for coping with pre-big-event anxiety
1. Welcome the sensations. This is your body doing its job, so try not to push the feelings down. Instead, label them as activating and energising.
2. Think positive. Use a mantra, such as: ‘Here comes the energy!’ or ‘This is my time and I’m ready!’
3. Believe in yourself. Don’t worry about other people’s responses to any positive statements you might make, such as: ‘Actually, I’m feeling confident about this competition.’ You’re not saying that you know you’re going to win – you’re simply saying that you’ve trained hard enough for the event and are going to enjoy yourself.
4. Be proud of your efforts. It’s good to acknowledge that you’ve put time and energy into training or rehearsing, and to realise that this in itself is an achievement. Don’t worry too much about whether it’s a win or a loss – be proud of how hard you’ve worked and all you’ve learned along the way.
5. Remember why you’re doing it. If a sport or activity stops being fun, ask yourself why you took it up in the first place. If you’re stressed about a gymnastics show, for example, get back on the apparatus and do the moves you love. You can then channel that joy into your performance.
TAKE COURAGE
Understanding the factors behind a lack of confidence is a great way to start building it up
Many people struggle with confidence. You’ve probably heard about a range of different ways to help yourself feel more self-assured, from power posing to positive thinking.
While it’s brilliant to get some techniques under your belt that can help build confidence, have you ever thought about what might be making you doubt yourself in the first place? Understanding these underlying causes can be a useful first step to truly believing in yourself.
Pursuing perfection
Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist from Coventry in the UK, says confidence can be knocked by aiming too high. She says that perfectionism can be a barrier to confidence because the brain will compare your capabilities to others, finding examples of people who you assume are more skilled or funnier, for example.
‘It can conjure up all sorts of wild and wonderful possibilities and outcomes that hold us back from putting ourselves out there and having a go at things,’ she adds.
Let’s say you have a presentation to prepare for class. Do you worry about all the little ways in which you could fall short? Perhaps you imagine that your voice will shake or that you’ll stumble over your words or miss out an important point.
You might find yourself thinking about classmates who seem great at presentations and convince yourself that you’ll never be as good as them. These are signs that it might be perfectionism that’s influencing how confident you feel.
Believing the worst
‘Self-limiting beliefs often take the form of thoughts about not being good enough,’ says Marianne, ‘and they can keep us wedded to the idea that it would be better not to try, for fear of what might happen or what others might say.’
This kind of thinking can make you believe you simply aren’t capable of something, even if others around you are encouraging or there’s proof that, actually, you can do it.
Taking the past as proof
Lacking faith in yourself can also come from having struggled with something once before. ‘It’s all part of our threat-response systems,’ says Marianne.
‘Previous negative experiences can impact upon our confidence because our brains store negative or traumatic experiences and then pattern-match by reminding us of them when things might feel even remotely similar.’
If you have a bad memory of something, for example, you might begin to associate similar experiences with this. Let’s say you tripped over while on stage during a school play – now, any time you think about performing again or getting up in class to give a talk, your mind automatically jumps back to that upsetting moment.
This can link to social anxiety, too. So, if you once felt extra nervous before going to a party, you might find yourself with similar worries next time you get an invitation.
Moving forwards
Thinking through these root causes and pinpointing what’s affecting your confidence is sometimes all you need to be able to start moving forwards.
Low confidence can be difficult to experience and you may find it helpful to get support. ‘Speaking to a trusted friend or adult, or your GP or school nurse can be a really good idea in helping you begin to make changes in the things that are keeping you stuck,’ says Marianne.
‘It might be that some journalling is enough,’ she adds, where you keep a record of your throughts and how you feel in certain circumstances. Occasionally, your GP might think talking it through with a therapist would be useful.
Remember, true confidence isn’t about trying to be someone who never feels nervous or anxious, but being forgiving of your own vulnerability and able to go ahead with things in spite of your nerves.
Turn the page for tips on how to rebuild self-belief
YOU ARE THE CHAMPION
A clinical psychologist explains how to be your own best advocate
In general, it’s common to want to avoid things that seem like a struggle, but when you face up to a difficulty and find a way through it, you’ll usually find that you grow as a person. This is partly because these challenges give you the chance to be an advocate for yourself or others.
What does it mean?
An advocate is someone who supports, promotes or defends a person, group or cause, often in response to struggle. There are many ways, big and small, that you might already champion others in this way.
Perhaps you’ve requested a change to your sports team’s practice schedule to make sure that everyone can make the dates. Or maybe you’ve taken part in a charity event that raises awareness of homelessness.
Somebody to lean on
Can you think of a time when someone was an advocate for you? Perhaps you were in a difficult situation and needed things to change. Maybe a friend understood what you were going through and provided support. It’s great to have people you can turn to for help, but it’s also good to know that you can be your own advocate.
New York-based clinical psychologist Rachel Busman, author of Being Brave with Selective Mutism, a book for children who struggle to speak in public, says: ‘When you advocate for yourself, you’re saying exactly what you feel, think or want. Everybody has a voice and it’s important to practise using that voice so that others hear what you have to say and respect your opinion.’
Knowing your needs
Advocating for yourself is useful in everyday situations, from being able to talk to a doctor about your health to asking for help in class. It’s also necessary in relationships. Paying attention to how you feel with friends and family can reveal what you want and need and allow you to
see whether you’re getting those things. If a friend often hurts your feelings, for example, it’s good to be able to communicate this, so that you feel valued and secure.
Similarly, if you’d appreciate your parents being able to spend more time with you, it’s helpful to let them know, so the relationship is as fulfilling as it can be (see overleaf for tips on how to start the conversation). It’s also important to listen to the other person and be open to change, too.
Why it’s a challenge
For all its advantages, there are reasons why standing up for yourself can be hard. In some societies, for example, messages are often given that it’s selfish or inappropriate.
‘These messages might say that speaking up for yourself isn’t important or that young people shouldn’t be too assertive,’ says Rachel. ‘Society [also] has specific ideas about how girls and boys should act, and sometimes those messages are unhelpful and damaging.’ They might, for example, lead you to limit or even suppress your needs.
Stand tall
Being aware of external influences can help you to decide what matters to you and how to balance others’ needs with your own. ‘There’s a difference between being selfish and being assertive,’ says Rachel.
‘Being selfish is putting your own needs first and communicating: “I’m more important or my needs are more important than everybody else’s.” Being assertive means speaking up for yourself in a way that’s respectful to both yourself and others.’
With practice, self-advocacy becomes easier. And the best thing? Whenever you need support, you know you’ll always be there for yourself.
More on how to voice your needs over the page
Be your own biggest backer
Six tips for learning how to support yourself
1. Find a role model. ‘You might have a parent or caregiver, a teacher or coach who are good advocates,’ Rachel says. ‘Listen to the messages they give you.’
2. Notice your feelings. Sad, happy, worried, relaxed – feelings are a signal about what’s working or not working for you. Ask yourself what’s causing you discomfort and what would help to make you feel better.
3. Pick your moment. If you’d like to have a conversation about what you need, work out the right time and place to open the discussion. Ask whoever’s involved: ‘Can I talk to you about some things I’ve been thinking about? When’s a good time?’
4. Keep it clear. Communicate in a direct manner and listen to feedback. If you feel like you’re not being heard, you can state this.
5. Be kind. If advocating for yourself means asking someone else to alter how they do things, keep the focus on how you feel. For example: ‘I’m finding the pace of these piano lessons too fast and I’m losing confidence,’ is likely to be more effective than, ‘You’re going too fast and making me feel bad about myself.’
6. Hone the skill. Look for small opportunities where you can state your needs. ‘Advocating for yourself actually takes practice,’ says Rachel. It’s not always easy to stand up for what you need but it’s always worthwhile.
THE POWER OF PEACE
As the name suggests, Peaceful warrior – Shanti Virabhadrasana in Sanskrit – brings calm and tranquillity to the mind while channelling the inner fortitude of a warrior to the body. This powerful side-bend activates the muscles in the legs and opens the heart and chest area, aiding respiratory functions and increasing energy flow. It strengthens the core and releases tension in the shoulders, arms and neck. It is through this combination of flexibility and balance that peace is attained.
Here’s how to get into the pose:
1. Stand tall in Mountain pose (see breathemagazine.com/tadasana) at the centre of your mat. Take a moment to breathe and connect with your inner strength and peace.
2. Come into yoga Warrior II pose (see issue 15) by stepping out with your right leg and bending the knee, pointing the toes of your right foot towards the front of your mat, your right knee aligned above your right ankle. Your left leg is straight, toes pointing towards the upper-left corner of your mat.
3. Raise your arms level with the shoulders, as in Warrior II, before stretching your right arm fowards (in the direction of the front of your mat), while at the same time reaching backwards with your left (your torso faces in the direction of your outstretched right arm).
4. Turn the palm of your right hand to face upwards. On an in-breath, raise your
right hand skywards, extending through the right of the torso from the hips.
5. On an out-breath, lower your left hand, extending through your left side until the hand comes to rest gently on your left thigh (or lower down the leg if comfortable). At the same time, extend the right side of your body up and over, towards the back of your mat, to create a leftward lean.
6. As you maintain the length on both sides of your body (the gaze is directed skywards towards your right hand), be aware of the shoulders gently opening backwards and the chest staying open. Keep extending your spine and neck.
7. Take a few comfortable breaths here. On an in-breath, return to warrior II, then to Mountain pose. Breathe and observe the effect on your being.
8. Repeat on the opposite side to achieve full body balance.
As with all physical activities, please do not attempt if you have any medical or physical conditions that may be aggravated. If in doubt, talk to your doctor first. Younger children should be supervised.
Savethedate!
U.S. POSTAGE PAID
SAN DIEGO, CA
PERMIT NO. 1592
2024-2025 ADMISSIONS EVENTS
The best way to learn all about OLP is to see it for yourself! We encourage you to join us at one of our upcoming events. We cannot wait to welcome you to our incredible community. Join the sisterhood!
Save the Date!
September 1st, 2024 Applications Open!
Available throughout Fall 2024! Pilot for a Day (Shadow Days)
October 2nd, 3rd, 2024
8th Grade Visitation Days
November 3rd, 2024
Open House
January 5th, 2025 Application Deadline
January 11th, 2025 HSPT
February 1st, 3rd-6th, 2025 Student and Family Conversations
March 7th, 2025 Admissions Decisions
March 17th, 2025 Enrollment deadline
Want to learn more?
Reach out to our admissions team to plan your visit and learn more about how you can become a Pilot! Email us at: admissions@aolp.org
Follow us on social media! @academyofourladyofpeace
Schedule a tour now!
