Pattaya City Uncovered April- March 2018

Apr Mar - May 2018 | www.PattayaCityUncovered.com - Apr 2018 | www.PattayaCityUncovered.com

The best

erotic club in

Walking street @Stars Club Pattaya

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Hooters Pattaya

Location: Pattaya Beach Road, Close to Royal Garden Plaza Website: www.hooterspattaya.com, E-mail: info@hooterspattaya.com Facebook: HOOTERSPATTAYA 02

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Contents Pattaya By Day

08 Pattaya through the eyes of an Alien 10 LazaGram 12 UV Clean 13 Pattaya The Amazing Tourists Destination 14 Solar City 15 Punch and Judy 16 Trying Something New & Exciting @ Pattaya Dive Centre 18 Tailor-Made Digital Marketing Solutions in Pattaya @ Fresh Digital 19 Stylish Beachfront Italian Dining @ La Costa by L’Italiano 20 New Nordic 21 Pattaya One Property 22 Essential Thai Festivals You Must See in 2018

Pattaya By Night 24 Camel Toe/ Mistys 25 Ask Uncle Al 26 The best erotic club in Walking street @Stars Club Pattaya 28 Pattaya Agogo Bar Tour for Blokes 30 Pattaya One 31 One week in Pattaya 32 Crystal Agogo 33 Ultimate Venue for Live Aussie Sports in Pattaya @ I-Rovers Sports Bar 34 Your Jokes 35 Legends 36 Sands 04

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Editor Talk Now we are finally moving into the low-season months on the Pattaya tourism scene after a long and busy high season. This is a great time to visit Pattaya. The streets are quieter, there is more room to swing a cat around and if you are on a manly holiday to the city and are in your 40s and 50s, you are a ‘sexy man’ again, as opposed to being ‘papa’.

If you are looking for some interesting things to do in the city this month, let Pattaya City Uncovered point you in the right direction. If you are looking for some exciting fun on Walking Street, we would suggest you visit the Stars Club, which is an erotic cabaret bar on the Street that is stylish, exotic and hedonistic. With some top-notch shows and an elegant interior, if you are looking for something a bit more upscale and stylish for a night out, we would highly recommend the Stars Club Pattaya.

Alternatively, if you are looking to find out more about a night out visiting go-go clubs on Walking Street, we have some excellent information for you this month that will take your holiday to the next level.

One of the best part about being on holiday is getting the chance to dine out every night of the week and to try out all manner of cuisine style. One of the best options directly on Pattaya Beach Road for beachside Italian dining is the classy La Costa by L’Italiano, which is home to the most stunning Italian flavors in the city.

If you are seeking the ultimate sports pub experience this month to keep in touch with not only the conclusion of the EPL football seasons, but also the myriad of Aussie sports currently taking place, get yourself over to the I-Rovers Sports Bar on Soi Lk Metro.

Make sure you keep a copy of Pattaya City Uncovered handy so you can conveniently find the best business in the city to elevate your Pattaya holiday to the next level.

Take care, The Editor

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PattAya

By Day

In This Section >> Pattaya through the eyes of a Alien >> LazaGram >> LazaGram >> UV Clean >> Pattaya >> Solar City >> Punch and Judy

>> Dive Centre >> Fresh Digital >> La Costa >> New Nordic >> Pattaya One Property >> Essential Thai Festivals You Must See in 2018

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Pattaya through the Eyes of an Alien

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It would not be a far stretch of the imagination for an alien to mistake the flashing neon lights of Walking Street Pattaya for a landing pad at the secret military/industrial complex in Rayong. Oh, you didn’t know about that place? And if an alien did crash land on Pattaya Beach Road, not only would he be the one mind blown, but the motorbike taxi drivers would chastise and gang up on him for taking up their prime parking spots on the roadside.

With so many strange characters already frequenting Pattaya, most notably from the Arian and Nordic races of Northern Europe, and the strange and cheap people from the Indian sub-continent, our confused alien crash victim who we only know as ‘Dave’ would certainly not appear out of place. As he makes his way past Mike’s Shopping Mall, Dave would be accosted by a street hawker who has ‘the perfect sunglasses for those oversized black eyes of yours falang!” He would also be stopped in his tracks by calls from a Nepalese tailor who has the “perfect tie for you geezer”, mistaking him for a drunken English football hooligan. Must be the black eyes again!

Once our alien friend dodged the drunken sandal-wearing Bavarians gathering outside KFC and Burger King and headed over to the beach side of the road, he was surprised to see the confused looks on the faces of tourists. They were not confused from looking at Dave’s misshapen head and grey skin, but out of astonishment by the curvy shape of the local ladyboys who appeared to be men dressed as women… with boobs.

“This is weird place,” thought Dave, who was born on an aquatic planet and had both male and female sexual organs

and gills, but somehow could not get his head around someone who had breasts and a penis at the same time. At least Dave could go and f#@k himself any time he wanted to, he mused.

One thing Dave couldn’t fathom was why the men on the roadside dressed in brown uniforms who he assumed to be police were taking what appeared to be money from people who had not done anything wrong and clearly didn’t have much money in the first place. Dave thought the rules of right and wrongdoing must be different on Planet Earth. He was half right! To his right, two motorbikes almost crashed with each other to loud noises and nobody battered an eyelid even though one was driving in the opposite direction of the traffic flow. “We even had driving rules in space and I didn’t see even an asteroid for 20 light years”, thought Dave.

Then in the distance, Dave finally saw it. All-consuming lights jutting out of the floor into the sky and every direction like some ungodly creation. Screams of passion and joy echoed throughout his soul. Had he finally stumbled upon the source energy he had been trying to find at the complex in Rayong?

The source energy that was causing a rift in the space-time continuum on his home planet? As he wandered closer, lights shot out in every direction as Dave dropped to his knees and kissed the somtam-covered concrete in dramatic fashion as his mission was almost complete. Dave’s journey across the cosmos was almost at an end. He had finally found what he was looking for and was in one piece to sample the exotic delights of the interplanetary and interdimensionallly-famous Walking Street Pattaya!

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WHAT IS LAZGAM? Lazgam Laser Games is a Laser Tag game played with laser guns inside a labyrinth. A maximum of 32 players can play in an area of 500-square meter decorated with lights, colors and sounds to simulate entry into the world of Sci Fi.

Corporate Team Building Activities Discover a fun experience with your boss and co-workers at Lazgam Laser Games – team building activities. This simulation game is set in a futuristic maze where all team members overcome obstacles together and foster their friendships within the organization. The team building concept by Lazgam Laser Games is ultimately exhilarating and helps develop skills, enhance capability and leads to unity within your firm. Enjoy this moment of growing 10

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friendships where everyone from your boss to co-workers unites as one. The corporate team building activities at Lazgam Laser Games is more than just fun and games – it’s the time of your life at a friendly price. With our one-stop service, we can arrange your laser games, food & beverage, activities, lucky draws, concerts; you name it. Lazgam is here to takes care of everything.

PARTY BOOKING Private Party If you’re looking for private party venue and concept, such as a bachelor or bachelorette party, Lazgam offers one-stop solution event organisation services to make your occasions unforgettable

RANKING Fancy becoming the top 10 laser game players in the national and global league championship?

Hurry up and hone your skills, precision, agility and strategy at Lazgam Laser Games by competing with other laser game players. Your scores will be recorded in our global leader board! Become a part the world biggest home to all laser tag players and rank yourself among other top National and International players!

333/99 Central Festival Pattaya Beach G Floor, FSG21-34/KG08 Moo 9 Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi Pattaya 20150 Email: info@lazgam.com Tel: 033-641-148 Hours: 11.00 am – 11 pm Everyday

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Safest & Cleanest Mattress Sanitising in Pattaya

@ UV Clean Asia Mattress Cleaning

Did you know that the mattress is the filthiest place in your home, yet we spend 33% of our lives languishing on its grime? That’s right, although you might have the cleanest floors and work surfaces you could eat your dinner off, it’s a good bet that your mattress is the dirtiest place in your home and you need to do something about it pronto! We are not trying to alarm you, but are just stating facts. Do you live in Pattaya and want to do something about your mattress right away? If so, UV Clean Asia Mattress Cleaning offers the safest and cleanest mattress sanitizing procedures in the region with no harmful chemicals whatsoever.

Offering the best residential and commercial mattress cleaning services in the Pattaya region for individual homeowners or large scale hotels, resorts and real estate developments alike, UV Clean Asia Mattress Cleaning utilizes the latest cleaning and sanitizing techniques without the use of invasive chemicals.

This new cleaning method uses UV-C Lighting technology, similar to that of sterilizing water that not only cleans and sterilizes your mattress, but performs its duties in the least harmful ways, for long-lasting results.

Based in Pattaya, Thailand, UV Clean Asia UV Mattress Cleaning works closely with progressive businesses such as large

hotel chains to offer the latest, safest and most effective sanitizing technology in the world, widely used for major resorts and hotel chains across Australia.

Popular for tackling unclean beds, zapping bed bugs and dust mites out of existence, you can sleep safe and sound in the knowledge that your bed is clean and you are not sharing your beauty sleep with unwanted creepy crawlies.

This revolutionary approach to bed cleaning provides 99.97% sanitation, and 100% customer satisfaction.

We currently live in a time where cleanliness is important, especially if you are the owner of a hotel, resort, or real estate development, as you are responsible for the well-being of all your guests, so it’s important that you contact UV Clean Asia Mattress Cleaning right away so you can enjoy peace of mind.

If you are a homeowner in the Pattaya and Chonburi region and you are concerned over the cleanliness of your mattress, they also offer individual cleaning services to homeowners.

Take advantage of this revolutionary mattress sanitization technology so you can live your life in comfort in the cleanest way possible.

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Office: 389/1662 Soi 4 Phratumnak, Pattaya, Chonburi 20150 Phone: Email: sales@UVclean.asia | Website: uvclean.asia

033 641 524

a y a t Pat zing a ation e tAs m Th ouris Destin T

ce for you in and pains. There is a pla s he ac me so e nc rie expe rs and massage nt types of Spa cente tion in the Chonburi ere na sti diff de are t ris ere tou Th . e ya tiv Patta ge such as Pattaya is an attrac n get all types of massa nation is popular for ca sti u de Yo t y. ris cit tou is the Th in s d. shop herbal compress province of Thailan golden sandy beach. , hot stone massage, its ge d an ssa , ma ife ic htl ed nig urv ing Ay the ge, and so on. its rich dishes, excit , aromatherapy massa of the most popular ge e ssa on it ma t de foo , ma ge ve ha ssa ma ents, detoxificas These attractions atments, water treatm lendid mix of activitie tre sp ial the fac o, are als , re rld the wo o, Als st explore the tourist spot in the ort tournaments have scrubs and waxing. Ju sp dy d bo an , s, ics ow lon sh co ral d ltu an tion the beach. such as festivals, cu ered and then relax on mp pa be ll wi u ot. yo sp d at an city made the city a gre The rist spot in Thailand ities in Pattaya, such as t the most popular tou tiv jus t ac no ing is ort ya sp tta us Pa rio m destinations in tween There are va leading medical touris ampionship game be the ch lf of e go a on is it’s t ich bu wh y en te and government Royal Troph event is the Tennis op home to various priva ing the ort is sp It . er rld oth wo An e. the memorable medical Asia and Europ lovers from all over the who want to create a ort sts sp uri d To an ls. ts ita ris sp tou ho ts ns, and choices. You which attrac ract tless options, attractio open promises to att is un co nn s Te ha ya ay tta lid Pa ho the ya tter place to relax, world. Later rld. The famous Patta d-pressed to find a be wo aze the am er be ov all uld m wo fro sports lover ee races: the enate. year and consists of thr recuperate, and rejuv t Marathon is held every er marathon. art qu the its nightlife—you migh d an n, ho lf marat ernationally known for int is ya t’s rftta su tha Pa nd full marathon, the ha ity Wi an ya ins tta fore heading into the in Pattaya includes Pa n, want to think twice be Other sporting events Super carts. n sea ng a sex tourist destinatio Ba the d an etition, . Obviously famous as ya tta e/ Pa d nc lle rie ca pe ing race, jet-ski comp ex to er ke in ord ey are concessarily have to parta sy to move around. Th ne ea n’t are do ya u do tta u yo Pa yo in d an ds n, The roa roads. Thanon sex tourist destinatio jor east-west aligned Pattaya is famous as a . More and more fun ng nected by the three ma ve Kla ha ya to tta er Pa oth Road), Thanon participate in ya to tta ed Pa ne h t ort no (N a Nu ya Pattaya the fuss is about. You (South Patta over just to see what d Thanon Pattaya Tai me an ) co t ad ris Ro tou ya tta Pa al (Centr nity. Central Pattaya is and from nce and observe huma Nua is a dual road to da ya , tta nk Pa dri ffee n on ca an Th e Th Road). nsvestite cabarets, co volume of where nightclubs, tra periences the highest to ex it me d e ho liv an , th the ad wi Ro ts vit ran Sukhum rs and restau raoke bars, open-air ba ka s, op sh n. tio . traffic ent compete for atten ttaya, you might music and entertainm a long distance to Pa As a tourist traveling

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ENVIROTECH INTERNATIONAL Co., LTD / SOLAR SYSTEMS THAILAND Co., LTD EST 2014

THINKING OF INSTALLING SOLAR POWER? Envirotech International / Solar Systems Thailand is a UK/THAI Company

We design supply, install and maintain unique solar energy scalable systems.

Solar Products: Over 120 manufactures-providing quality products at a lower cost.

Design Support: End to end design and engineering support services.

Consulting Support: Qualified installation consultants to support services.

Logistics Support: Remote, field, project site and rooftop delivery solutions. The cost of solar installations is currently 100 times lower than in 1977 and costs have fallen 80% in the last 5 years.

SOLAR ENERGY AND THE ENVIRONMENT

1. SAVE ON POWER BILLS. 2. INCREASE THE VALUE OF YOUR PROPERTY. 3. GENERATE A PASSIVE INCOME WITH THE POTENTIAL TO EARN FROM YOUR SYSTEM. (GOVERNMENT TO DEREGULATE IN OCTOBER. YOUR RETURN TO BE CONFIRMED).

4. WITH THE RIGHT INSTALLATION, SOLAR ENERGY IS AN INVESTMENT THAT POTENTIALLY PAYS A 200% PLUS RETURN. 5. REDUCE YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT AND HELP TO ACHIEVE A CLEANER ENVIRONMENT

WHAT SOLAR SYSTEMS IS RIGHT FOR ME? ENVIROTECH/SOLAR SYSTEMS THAILAND OFFER SEVERAL OPTIONS: 1. Off grid systems – daytime power supply only.

2. Off grid systems with battery backup-providing day and night supply.

3. On grid systems – daytime power supply only but unused power returned into the grid, for which you as the customer receive payment.

4. On grid hybrid systems-with battery backup providing day and night supply and returning unused power back to the grid.

5. We also offer Solar Leasing (subject to agreement). Ask for further information. Free installation and maintainence.

6. We also specialise in partial feed systems, ideal for swimming pools and outdoor lighting systems. Ask for details.

7. Want to reduce your air conditioning cost? Due to our new revolutionary power reduction systems we can reduce you costs by 10 to 15%.

VISIT OUR WEBSITE ON FACEBOOK: ENVIROTECH INTERNATIONAL CO., LTD OR VISIT OUR PREMISES: 29/12 MOO 3, T.SAMINAKTHON, A BANCHANG, RAYONG 21130.

Lee Hunter Ceo: 08-61548605, Alan Cornall Coo: 09-65128818 14 pattaya uncovered We are city fully committed to Quality, Service and Customer Satisfaction

“Under New Management, same new food fresh new atmosphere”

l a i c e p S s ' y a d y r e v

E

Monday Bangers n Mash 2 Cumberland Sausage Mash Potatoes, Mixed Vegetables with Red Wine Gravy

190 baht

Wednesday

A 200 gram homemade beef burger

Tuesday

Pan Fried Pork Chop Served with Sauteed Potato’s, Seasonal Veg, Gravy and Apple Sauce

260 baht

Thursday

175 baht

Fish n Chips Fresh Fish Cooked in Real Ale Batter served with Steak Fries, Mushy or Garden

h e Punc h T t a ay our Everyd n Happy H B re o t 65 eers a 9:00 for jus b d e l 1 t all bot m 12:00 till fro

Friday

Sunday

199 baht

290

From

baht

Roast Dinner starting from 12:00 Chicken, Lamb, Beef, Pork or a Trio a combo of three meats.

All the trimmings (Meat, Roasty’s, Mash, Veg, Stuffing, PIG’s tucked up, Yorkshire and gravy)

Poached Salmon on a bed of spinach served with a jacket potato and vegetables and white wine sauce

290 baht

y a rd

u t a S

210 baht

Chicken Masala Curry, Pilaf rice, Chapati, Poppadoms and Condiments plus a cold bottle of beer

Punch & Judy

62/191 Soi 8 Moo 10, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi +66 38 413 255 punchandjudy.co.th www.facebook.com/ThePunch.JudyPub pattaya city uncovered

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Trying Something New & Exciting @ Pattaya Dive Centre

Pattaya is an exciting and intriguing city that is more than just partying, affordability and sunshine. There are so many things to try and experience for the first time. If you are looking to try something new and exciting while you are here on holiday, discovering scuba diving for the first time will open up a world you never thought existed. When you need to find a reputable and professional dive company in Pattaya that has a reputation for the highest safety standards and offering an unbeatable experience, Pattaya Dive Centre is the best choice.

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Pattaya Dive Centre is located between Soi 10 and 11 on Pattaya Beach Road in the heart of the city, making it a very central place to visit. The dive centre is run and owned by one of the most experienced divers in the region, British PADI Master Dive Instructor David Wright, who has 30 years’ experience of diving in the region. Pattaya Dive Centre is the perfect place you can visit to get PADI certificates, entry-level courses, dive excursions and friendly local knowledge. When seeking out the best dive locations and local knowledge, or you want to try scuba for the first time, you need to align yourself with the most reputable dive centre on the Eastern Seaboard.

Discover Scuba and Entry-Level Courses Scuba diving is one of Thailand’s most desirable activities, showcasing some of the best dive sites in the world. The Gulf of Thailand flanks Pattaya city and is also a great place to discover scuba diving for the first time. Once you have tried, you will never be the same again. Pattaya Dive Centre is a great place to learn scuba diving or to develop knowledge you already have. Whether you are looking for a single day out scuba diving, or want to achieve your PADI Lifetime certificate, Pattaya Dive Centre has something for everyone.

you are on holiday with your family or a group of friends. Take in the views or do a spot of snorkeling at the most desirable dive sites in the region at Samae San Islands, Koh Chuang, Koh Chan, Shark Fin Rock (Hin Chalam), Submarine Rock and The Hole.

Pattaya Dive Centre is the spiritual home of scuba diving in Pattaya, offering the best choice of PADI scuba and open water courses, either for beginners or those looking to take their knowledge to the next level to become a dive instructor. Make sure you are in the safest hands with Pattaya Dive Centre.

Talking of PADI, if you are looking to get some PADI certificates, you could try out the PADI Open Water Diver Course, which is a 3-4 day program that trains you to be able to dive independently. The Open Water Diver course is a great way to start out. If you don’t have a few days available, you could get certified as a PADI scuba diver in just 2 days.

Amazing Pattaya Boat Tours A great way to spend a day in Pattaya is out on the Gulf of Thailand to explore the stunning islands in the region. Pattaya Dive Centre has a world-class choice of vessels, allowing you to book the most unforgettable boat excursions, ideal if

Pattaya Dive Centre

Between Soi 10 and 11, Pattaya Beach Road Phone: +6638422133 Website: www.divecentrepattaya.com

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Tailor-Made Digital Marketing Solutions in Pattaya @ Fresh Digital

It is a very dynamic time to be a business in Pattaya, but to make the most of your services and products, it is more important than ever before to implement digital marketing strategies that are streamlined for you to succeed. We live in a brave new marketing world, and if you want to adapt a more pro-active approach to marketing your business in Pattaya, Thailand or beyond, let Fresh Digital Marketing help you to achieve all your goals in this digital age.

Fresh Digital is a fast-growing digital marketing agency that located in the Pattaya region and is making a big name for itself by assisting businesses to reach their true goals and potential with modern marketing solutions that are tailored to each individual client.

Utilizing Modern Marketing Strategies in Pattaya The modern age of digital marketing combines several elements that come together to create a complete marketing plan across numerous platforms. Fresh Digital have expertise in Search Engine Optimization (SEO), Web Building, Social Media and Content Marketing, culminating in the utilization of all these marketing avenues to gain your company and/or brand more exposure across your desired consumer groups.

Fresh Digital is here to help you top dominate your industry.

Fresh Digital is an industry leader in terms of using Search Engine Optimization and the latest advancements in social

media and branding to elevate your business to the next level. Offering a personal approach to marketing that is tailored to your company’s individual needs, while adapting and evolving with the industry and your market sector, it is time to take the next step to become a leading force with the help of Fresh Digital.

Enhance your digital exposure and global brand appearance by getting your marketing needs in order. Fresh Digital pride themselves on providing the best services to their clients while at the same time achieving the best organic results on Google to elevate your presence globally or locally so success is guaranteed.

Make the right marketing moves today in Pattaya by contacting Fresh Digital for a chat about your needs, desires and expectations. In the modern age of digital marketing, it doesn’t matter if you are a large or small business, because failing to take advantage of social media and Google rankings will see your competitors taking the lead.

Address: 400/33 Moo12, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi 20150 Website: freshdigital.co.th Telephone: 033 135 015 E-Mail: sales@freshdigital.co.th Office Hours: Monday – Friday 8am – 5pm Saturday & Sunday – Closed

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Stylish Beachfront Italian Dining @ La Costa by L’Italiano

Italian cuisine is simply one of the most scrumptious and earthy cuisine styles in the world, popular with almost everyone. Although Italian food is tasty and zesty, it doesn’t have the same spice that puts some people off, which is why everyone loves Italian cuisine. If you are looking for top-notch Italian flavors in an idyllic location, La Costa by L’Italiano is a top-notch Italian restaurant you simply have to try this month.

Situated in an awe-inspiring location directly on Pattaya Beach Road in a prime people watching spot with views out towards the dreamy Gulf of Thailand, La Costa is primly positioned from beachfront Italian dining. The restaurant is located in the grounds of the Empress Hotel, which is just off Soi-12 of Pattaya beach Road, near to Mike’s Shopping Mall and Royal Garden Plaza.

With lots of parking spaces, mesmerizing sea-views and quality Italian cuisine served in an elegant and inviting restaurant, when you need the best Italian food in Pattaya, not many can match La Costa.

Quality Italian Food Come along to La Costa to sample their earthy and delicious Italian cuisine favorites that are some of the cleanest and tastiest dishes in the city. La Costa serves up a vast choice of heart-stopping authentic thincrust Italian pizzas, a wide range of pasta dishes, classic Italian favorites, Thai food and imported steaks. We would recommend that you try out their amazing seafood platters that come in both Italian or Thai style. The choice of flavors is immense.

The restaurant also has over 100 topnotch wines from across the world to compliment your meals, alongside some high-end imported Italian coffees that have to be sampled to be believed.

La Costa also offers live music every evening from 6:30pm to 11pm, so you can enjoy your meal or the sunset while listing to some relaxing tunes.

If you are staying in a hotel or you live in Pattaya wan to get La Costa food delivered directly to your establishment, you can check out La Costa on Pattaya takeaway companies such as DOOR TO DOOR and FOODPANDA.

La Costa by L’Italiano Address info: Pattaya Beach Road Soi 12, located in the Empress Hotel, next to Mike’s Shopping Mall.

Phone: 081 723 8607 Facebook: LitalianoPattaya Website: www.ristoranteitalianopattaya.com pattaya city uncovered

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Beef Burger

with bacon, caramelized onion, tomato, cheddar cheese, fried egg and thousand island dressing

380

Chicken Vegan Grilled Liver Pate Salad Barramundi Green Olive Tapenade and Toasted baguette

130

with Quinuo, Enoki Mushroom, Pumpkin Seeds, Red Pepper, Cucumber, Coulis

200

with crispy onion, mash witted greens and puttanesca sauce

320

Big Caesar Profiteroles 3Arancini Cheeses Breakfast Salad Smoked beetroot puree, wild mushrooms and smoked paprika aioli

150

2 Egg any style; Poached, Scrambled or Fried egg served with Smoked ham, pork sausage, bacon, baked bean tomato and hash brown

220

with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce

250 200

Chicken Vegetarian

Open Daily 7:00am – 11.00pm For More Information Contact us at fb@new-noric.com www.facebook.com/onthehillyourfrenchbistro 20

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220

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Essential

Thai Festivals you must see in 2018 Thailand festivals are an intricate part of what makes the nation tick and how their colorful culture and ways penetrate every part of life in the kingdom. If you are a bit of a festival freak or a gala geek or even a carnival crazy, here are some essential Thai festivals that you simply do not want to miss in 2018!

#1 - Songkran Thai New Year (Water Festival) When: 13 April 2018. Thai New Year is 13th April, but the festival can last a week or more depending on the region.

Where: Nationwide Songkran Thai New Year is the world’s biggest and most exciting water festival. When you absolutely have to drench every person on the street and smear them in talcum powder, accept no substitutes. Songkran is Thai New Year, which is routinely held on the 13th April and lasts 3-days in most areas. In Phuket, the water festival is just 24-hours, but in places such as Pattaya and Chiang Mai, it can take a week or more to unfold. The streets will be awash (excuse the pun) with water pistol-toting badasses who are trying to drench you completely, so make sure you are a hunter and not the hunted. Make sure you leave your valuables in your hotel safe or water from the pistols might not be the only kind leaking from your face.

#2 - Loy Krathong Festival Thailand When: 23 November 2018 Where: Nationwide Not to be confused with the Lantern Festival (Yi Peng), but running in conjunction with, Loy Krathong is one of the most fascinating and colorful spectacles of any Thai festival held throughout the year. The festival is routinely held on the Full Moon of the 12th month of the Lunar Calendar and usually falls in November on the Gregorian calendar. On the evening of the festival, all stretches of water in Thailand are filled to the brim with decorative floats, also called ‘Krathongs’, which are made from banana tree truck, banana leaves and lots of flowers. You can buy them or make them yourself. Casting the floats out across the water signifies casting away the stresses and troubles of the past lunar year, ready to start anew. It really is an enjoyable experience and you can take 22

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part no matter where you are in Thailand because it’s a nationwide event.

#3 - Phuket Vegetarian Festival When: 18 October 2018 Where: Phuket Town One of the most covered Thailand events in media terms is the Phuket Vegetarian Festival.

The festival has become infamous because of the strange acts of self-mutilation that goes on, which makes this one of goriest festivals in the world. Taking place in Phuket Town for a 10-day period in October 2018, the festival deals with the more darker side of the spirit and supernatural world. Popularized in men’s magazine such as FHM and Maxim, photos of the Phuket Vegetarian Festival usually center around Thai men sticking all manner of objects into their bodies such as metal poles, machine guns and even hooks, which takes place on the last couple of days of the event. Over the 10-day period, the streets are closed down in the evening and there are lots of vegetarian food stalls, music shows and all manner of carnival things taking place. If you are in Phuket in October 2018, we would strongly recommend you head over to Phuket Town with your camera in hand to enjoy the fun.

#4 – Chonburi Buffalo Racing Festival 2018 When: 23 October 2018 Where: Chonburi City I don’t know about you, but I have run away from a few buffaloes in my time, but have never actually ridden on one. The Chonburi Buffalo Racing Festival might seem like a fun and friendly Thailand event, and it is, but do not underestimate how serious the buffalo breeders and contestant take these races. The racing has been taking place for over 100 years and is a colorful spectacle that attracts lots of local spectators and also many Western onlookers form Bangkok and Pattaya. The races are fun, there are lots of food and drink stalls, live concerts and much more that make this a fascinating experience.

PattAya

By Night

In This Section >> Camel Toe/ Mistys >> Ask Uncle Al >> Star Club >> Pattaya Agogo Bar Tour for Blokes >> Pattaya One >> One week in Pattaya >> Crystal Agogo >> I Rovers >> Your Jokes >> Legends >> Sands

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Soi Kopai

Pattaya Rd

Sukhumvit Rd

Soi Thepprasit 6

Thepprasit Rd

6/1 Soi Thepprasit

Jomtien

Soi Theppr asit 8

Soi Kopai 10

VIP Room with 4m 3D HD Projector - Available for Private Parties

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Ask Uncle Al Thailand Q&A

Am I a Thailand expert? Possibly I suppose, definitely maybe, and if you lived in a different country for 10 years, you would probably be as well. Here I am at your disposal… please feel free to ask me anything you want about Thailand, and I will answer it to the best of my knowledge, and if I can’t, I will just blag it in time honored tradition!

My sack has been bursting this week (calm down folks) with lots of questions… and to answer a few: Yes I am handsome… no, it’s just a small one… and yes, I will take you on a whirlwind tour of Walking Street, if you’re paying of course.

Thai Women vs. Western Women Dear Uncle Al, Is it right that Thai women make much better girlfriends than say, European, American and Australian women?

Bob, from San Jose Hey Bob from San Jose, You get what you pay for in this world my friend! And all those people who say things like “I would never pay for a woman,” are, let’s face it, imbeciles! You always pay for it, no matter where you live. Mortgages, fine dining, fashion accessories, having kids, divorces… all these things are bloody expensive, and the longer and deeper the relationship goes, the less horizontal bed-dancing action you get in return. Joking aside, I prefer western women because you can always depend on them in a bar brawl.

So, I think the answer to your question is that there is good and bad in all people, and really, it comes down to the chemistry, not where they come from, and there has been a few ladies in my life I would like to take the sulphuric acid to!

Seeing as though we are in question answering mode, I have always wanted to ask this Bob, “Do you know the way to San Jose?”

It’s all about the kids

Hi Al, I have just come back from a holiday in Thailand, and I would like to ask you why is that Thai children seem so well behaved when compared to Western kids? – Fiona, Queensland Well Fiona, it’s because in Thailand they still discipline their kids with the tried and tested iron fist method of dishing out lessons and retribution without the fear of receiving a visit from social services and their politically correct nonsense.

It’s a very affective form of raising kids, some would say draconian, but I would call it ‘tough love’. Another factor in the Thai kid’s behavior is that they tend to snack on fresh fruit every day, whereas Western kids are forever feasting on saturated sweet stuff, which can lead to all manner of behavioral problems in children. Hey, but what do I know!

Hello Al, I am thinking about coming to Thailand to live. What sort of jobs are on offer for westerners who have only done manual labor jobs in their own countries?

Mike, Bradford, UK Hello Mike. I will break it to you gently, but the manual labor jobs in Thailand are safeguarded for Thai people, so you simply won’t be able to get a work permit for those kinds of jobs. You cannot get a work permit for laboring jobs, taxi driving and all those kind of things because they are for the Thais.

Historically, lots of westerners get English teaching jobs, but I couldn’t imagine having to deal with other people’s kids on a daily basis, it’s bad enough with my own.

Alternatively, you could do the same as me and pretend to be a writer because the people out here think you can do it if you can string a couple of sentences together in English without swearing, although I struggle with that sometimes.

The only other choice is starting your own business. Many westerners open bars and restaurants, but generally speaking, their liver ends up harder that a 6ft 6inch football hooligan in a bad mood. But like they say “If you want to make a small fortune in Thailand, you have to bring a large fortune with you.”

Right folks, that’s me for this week, so if you have any sensible question regarding ANYTHING Thai, please feel free to drop me a line to us “Pattaya City Uncovered” at info@ pattayacityuncovered.com pattaya city uncovered

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When you want to explore the best nightlife entertainment options in Pattaya City, it would be sacrilegious not to visit the world-famous Stars Club. Located in the heart of Pattaya at the beginning of Walking Street, this exceptional club has been making a massive name for itself, and the best part is… it’s FREE TO ENTER!

All Night Club The Stars Club is a truly expansive club that has a chic and modern interior and appeals to holidaymakers who want to experience that authentic Pattaya nightlife flavor at first hand.

With over 50 girls that come from unique places such as Russia, Ukraine, Moldova and other European nations, this is one of the most eclectic Night Clubs with the widest variety of choice in Pattaya City, bar none. The girls are exotic and sultry and completely different to the standards women you will find in the mainstay of clubs on Walking Street.

Modern and Chic Interior The Night Club really does have an ultra-modern interior design and unique atmosphere for Pattaya. The Night Club is set within luxurious air-conditioned surrounding with a décor that is warm, ambient and stylish. The usage of music, costumes, lights and choreography come together to create

something a little different on Walking Street.

Stars Club comes equipped with a wide range of alcoholic beverages with lots of beer choices, wines, cocktails and of course, some amazing champagne to compliment this highend and glamorous experience. There are also some snacks available and drinks to suit every taste and style.

The Stars Club has a reputation as the ‘Most luxurious Night Club in Thailand’ and is currently making a massive name for itself on the local scene. There are lots of bars, babes and things to see and do on Walking Street, but you cannot say you have been there and done that until you have made the pilgrimage to the Stars Club Pattaya.

Make sure you come and join in on the fun while you are on holiday in Pattaya. Get yourself over to the venue to party the night away with the exclusive Stars Club Exotic Dancers who will not just help you to have a great night, but will take it to the next level every time.

Stars Club Pattaya Location: As you enter Walking Street from beach Road entrance, the Stars club is 100 meters on the right-hand-side, next to King Seafood.

Phone: 098 448 8900 Website: https://www.starsclub-phuket.com pattaya city uncovered

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Pattaya

Agogo

Bar Tour for Blokes

When it comes to hedonistic fun and holidays for blokes, Pattaya is literally Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory! With so many flavors, shades of color and tastes, and a few Umpa Lumpas thrown in for good measure, a night out in Pattaya visiting go-go bars is something out of this world. If you are looking for a night of hedonistic fun in Pattaya that is like no other, here is an itinerary of Agogo clubs you can visit.

7pm – Crystal Club Agogo – Soi LK Metro Although the consensus is that go-go bars are mostly found on Pattaya Beach Road and Walking Street, the Soi LK Metro area is also home to many go-go bars and is the perfect place to start this night of debauchery. The Crystal Club Agogo is located on Soi LK Metro and is known as the number-1 go-go bar in that area. Opening at 7pm, this is a great place to start the night and is home to lots of exquisite women and dancers who are very hands on with their hospitality.

9pm - Stars Club Pattaya After girding your loins in the Crystal Club, it is time to head over to Walking Street for the business end of the night.

One of the most unique places on the ‘Street’ is the Stars Club Pattaya. Although the club might not quintessentially be a go-go bar, it has some immense exotic dancers and cabaret shows that will literally blow your socks off. The establishment opens at 9pm, and is a great place to come for

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a couple of hours to take in the shows and conserve energy for the final two parts of the tours that you don’t want to miss.

11pm – Annabelle’s Agogo Bar Pattaya After relaxing and taking the shows at the Stars Club, it’s time to immerse yourself back into the action. Annabelle’s Agogo is considered as one of Pattaya’s most popular go-go bars and has a reputation that precedes itself. This club is known for its ‘hands on’ hostess girls and dancers that are always very welcoming and friendly. The club has a dark ambience that is conducive to hedonistic fun, and if you can read between the lines I am writing, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

1am – Windmill Agogo Club If the hedonistic delights of Annabelle’s wasn’t enough to capture your imagination or fulfill your needs, the famous Windmill Agogo has quite a reputation and takes the term ‘hands on fun’ to another level. You only have to do fiveminute’s research online to find out about the fun that can sometimes go on in the dark at Windmill… and it’s not for the faint hearted. I wouldn’t want to be the one to clean up afterwards. However, this is the perfect place to cap off a hedonistic night of fun playing the go-go bar carousel in Pattaya. If you can actually remember this night, you probably didn’t go at it full tilt like you were supposed to!

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OneWeek in Pattaya Although I have lived in Pattaya for the past 5-years, there was a time when I would come here on holiday, sometimes for a few weeks and other times just for a week. Coming to Pattaya for a week is great fun, but one thing I found is if you want to make the most from a week in the city, you really need to plan your itinerary because if you don’t, the 7-days often results into a drunken blur where nothing was really achieved aside from a sore head and a spot of acute amnesia.

Getting to Pattaya Our time is limited, so we need to cut down on all the time consuming issues that arise from travelling. You have finally made it to Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok and need to get to Pattaya. Remember, time is against us. The balloon-surfing and cheap Charlie fraternity would at this point catch a bus to Ekamai Bus Station in Bangkok city and board a bus to Pattaya for just 150 THB. However, we are here to make the most of our week, so catching a taxi will already cut down your travelling time by a couple of hours.

When you are waiting in the taxi queue, ask around to see if anybody else is going to Pattaya, especially if they are at the front of the queue. This will cut down your taxi fare by half.

Do you have a?

Like I said earlier, it’s all about planning. Make sure you book your hotel room in advance, which will make things much simpler when you arrive. It’s not difficult to find a hotel in Pattaya on the run, but you don’t want to be trawling across the city with your bags in hand like some kind of vagabond or newbie waiting to be fleeced now do you? Make sure you book your hotel in advance to cut down on time.

Tackling your first night in the city It’s only natural that the moment you arrive that you want to get out into the neon-lit evening to hit the beers and party.

You only have a week in the city, and jet-lag can be a real party-pooper. If you go mad on the first night, it might take 2 or 3 days to recover properly, so we would advise that first night

you take it easy. Have something nice and healthy to eat, a couple of beers and then go to bed at a semi-decent time around midnight, or it could have a severe impact on your week in the city. There will be plenty of time to hit the bars over the course of a week. Patience is a virtue my son.

Things to try when you are here: Now we have actually gotten to Pattaya in one piece and managed to survive our first night without any infractions with the tourist police or without being accosted by ladyboys, we can get on with our mission: to see and experience the best Pattaya has to offer in a single week.

In the daytime you could sample the temples such as the Sanctuary of Truth in Naklua, do some shopping on the beach road markets, find some local handicrafts at Pattaya Floating Market or shop for brand names at Central Festival Shopping Mall. If you love the beach, we would recommend you go over to Jomtien Beach, which is nice and uncluttered stretch of sand. If you are an animal or theme park lover, Siracha Tiger Zoo, Million Year Stone Park and Crocodile Farm, Khao Kheow Open Zoo and Nong Nooch Gardens are great choices.

Pattaya is home to some fantastic golf courses, with over 20 in a 45-minute drive of the city. If you are the more adventurous kind, you could sample go-karting, paintballing and even visit the local shooting range.

There are many excursions out to and other outlaying islands that you could take advantage of during the day, all of which you can book at any tour kiosk in the city.

In the evening, you need to check out the go-go and beer bars on Walking Street, dine in one of the city’s finest restaurants or even visit a show at Alangkarn Theater.

There is so much to see and do in Pattaya, both day and night. But if you are here for just one week, you need to organize your time and plan beforehand the things you want to see and do. If you don’t plan your week in Pattaya, you will amble aimlessly throughout the city like I did in my first holiday in Pattaya, where I achieved absolutely nothing.

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Ultimate Venue for Live Aussie Sports in Pattaya @ I-Rovers Sports Bar

When it comes to sport, not many countries in the world can match Australia for passion or quality. If you are in Pattaya this month and need to keep in touch with the ongoing Aussie sports taking place in April and May, the ultimate venue is the I-Rovers Sports Bar, located in the heart of the city and the cornerstone of Aussie sports in Pattaya.

Situated in an easy-to-find location in a peaceful corner of Soi LK Metro, I-Rovers has made a name for itself as one of the most vibrant and exciting sports bars in the city. Every taxi driver in the city knows Soi LK Metro, so you will have no problem finding the pub. With lots of flat-screen TVs showcasing all major sporting events from around the globe with an emphasis on EPL Premier League Soccer and ALL AUSTRALIAN SPORTS, alongside offering a fantastic choice of draught beverages and affordable yet delicious Western food, all within an inviting atmosphere, you simply can’t afford to miss I-Rovers this month.

AFL, NRL and Super Rugby @ I-Rovers

Pattaya than at I-Rovers. Then pub attracts lots of Aussie sports fans who ascend on the establishment for the matches, creating a ‘big game’ atmosphere with lots of banter and revelry. There is nothing that can match watching sports with likeminded individuals in a party-like atmosphere, and that is exactly what you get at I-Rovers. Make sure you get over to the bar to get your Aussie live sport fix this month.

Affordable Western Food Menu

To compliment your visit to I-Rovers to check out the Aussie sports th is month, make sure you sample their amazingly affordable Western food menu that combines quality breakfasts with affordable daily specials, delicious main course meals, Thai food and snacks.

With quality food and drink, friendly staff that are always welcoming, and access to the biggest and best live sporting events from across the globe with heavy emphasis on Aussie sports, whether it’s food, drink, sports or fun, I-Rovers should be at the top of your list this month.

If you are a fan of the multitude of Aussie sports that are currently talking place such as the AFL Football, the NRL and the Super Rugby, there is no better place to watch the games live in

I-Rovers Sports Bar

Location: The corner of Soi LK Metro Phone: 0066 (0) 38489494 Mobile: 099 152 4076 Website: www.i-rovers.com pattaya city uncovered

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Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!

Q: What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

A young women goes to the hospital to have her baby. No husband or boyfriend is present.

The woman has her baby and then the nurse comes in and says I must warn you your baby is black. The woman says “Well I was in desprate need for money and there was a porno and the guy was black.” The nurse quickly apologizes and says it was none of my business. The woman didnt seem to mind.

The nurse says just so you know the baby has slanted eyes.

The woman says “They told me for more money that there was a chinese guy too and she needed the money.” The nurse brings the woman her baby and the mother turns the baby over and slaps its bottom so hard it started to cry. The nurse yelled “What the hell are you doing?” The woman looks the nurse square in the eyes and says “I wanted to make sure it didnt bark too.”

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.” The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk’s wife greets them at the door: “Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where’s his wheel chair?”

Three guys were talking in the local bar. The manager was so sure that its bouncer was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. The challenge was that the bouncer would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more

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drop out of the lemon would win the money. Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters, karate masters, and all had failed. Then one day this geeky little fella with heavy black rimmed glasses came into the bar and asked if he could try

“What do you do for a living that has given you such strength?

Are you a construction worker, weightlifter, what?”

“No” the man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

the challenge.

After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar!

Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked “What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a construction worker, weightlifter, what?” “No” the man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

This monkey walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender says no, and the monkey leaves. The next day, the monkey returns and asks, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender again says no, and the monkey leaves. Two days later the monkey returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender, losing his patience, screams at the monkey, “I told you monkey, I don’t have any bananas and if you ask me again I will nail your paws and tail to the floor!!”

The monkey looked startled and leaves. Two days later the monkey returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender replied, “No,” and the monkey said, “Good! Got any bananas?”

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d l o s % 0 9 r ove

www.sandspratumnak.com

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