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DEAR READER, Get ready for a wild magazine where we use up as many THE’s as we can before Ohio State wins a copyright case. It’s almost my favorite time of year: fall. To all THE new students, if you think you’re in love with Ohio State now, just wait until you see THE trees of this campus change with THE weather for THE better. (Fun fact about Ohio State: we’re THE biggest of THE most Instagrammed campuses in THE US according to AT&T!) Get ready to see all of your friends who you thought were too-cool post their ever-so-cheesy but obligatory “I can’t believe I get to go here” Snapchats, Insta stories, and Tweeted pics from absolutely anywhere on campus. Right before classes start taking over and destroying your morale, remember THE reasons why you picked Ohio State. Maybe it was involvement: this is THE recruiting time of year for student organizations. I wish you THE best of luck on your applications, auditions, and interviews for your new Ohio State family, whomever they may be. THE weather is still warm, which makes for dreamy walks around campus or downtown for those who came here for THE city-vibes. And finally, football season is right around THE corner. Get your Block gear ready, and get hype. Even if you’re not a football fan, everyone knows you have to go to a game in THE student section at least once in your time here. THE energy is just different. Everyone feels immense love for each other (until you get to THE game late and realize someone is totally standing in your seat), and singing Carmen Ohio at THE end of THE game is unforgettable and tear-worthy. I’ll also take this time to flex on you guys with this picture of me and J.K. Dobbins after THE Xichigan game last year. Funny story: I ordered my jersey online–from another country because we’re financially responsible around here–and not kidding, I got an Alabama Crimson Tide #2 jersey for Romelo Webster instead of my Buckeye one. THE only thing that could have been worse than receiving a #RollTide jersey would be receiving a navy and maize one instead. So I emailed THE company, we were three weeks out from THE big rivalry game, and I wasn’t sure if it would come in time. To my relief, there was a crisp, clean package with a foreign alphabet on THE label sitting outside my front door THE Friday right before THE big game. And at THE end of it all, I found Dobbins on THE field amidst THE chaos that was a classic rush of THE field. A perfect end to a perfect senior year season. I can only hope that you’ll find yours!

Madi Task Editor-in-Chief

A PRODUCT of 614 MEDIA GROUP

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Contributing Photographers Collins Laatsch, Amal Saeed, Ethan Clewell, Grant Jones, Lexi Ujczo

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1870 MAGAZiNE • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870mag.COM

Cover by: Design by Sarah Moore Photo by Grant Jones

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CONTE NT S

PEO PLE O F C A M PUS

ACCESSIBLE HOUSING NEAR CAMPUS 26

FOO D TACO B ELL : GIVE YO U R BA JA MORE B L A ST 4 6

COVER STORY

8 THINGS YO U C AN DO NOW THAT THE SHOE HA S WIFI 62 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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BIG PICTURE

BREAKAWAY MUSIC FESTIVAL 2019 Crowds losing it to Christian French at Breakaway on Saturday, August 24, an Ohio State student hot spot. Photo by Grant Jones


Ever wonder who is behind those most dastardly and hopelessly romantic tweets? Or how THE crushee reacted to an OSUCrush tag? Well, so does OSUCrush! We’ve followed up on some of our favorite tweets to dig up THE details.

SEPTEMBER

BY N AT H A N O D D I

TJ NEER @TJ_Neer

NICK BRAUN

@OSUnicycleguy @OSUCrush: To THE unicycle guy, I don’t have a crush on you but my day got slightly better whenever I saw you. Good luck to you, unicycle guy. | 52 Likes

When did you start riding THE unicycle? I started unicycling in 4th grade at my elementary school. After I went on to middle school, I sort of dropped unicycling until 8th grade. I had been watching extreme unicycling videos on YouTube and it inspired me to do THE same things I saw in those videos. After learning to hop and ride one footed, I bought myself a street unicycle and I’ve been hooked on extreme unicycling ever since. Is there a Facebook group for Columbus unicyclists? As far as I know there is not. However I am starting a club, and will have a GroupMe. If you want to find unicyclists, or want to learn to unicycle, or anything else. I’m your guy. I recommend you check out unicycle club’s website (which I started last semester) at go.osu.edu/unicycle and if you can’t find what you’re looking for, or don’t feel like looking for it, contact me and I’ll be happy to tell you anything about unicycling. How practical is unicycling as a means of transportation compared to biking? Unicycles are less efficient than bikes. No doubt about it. For THE most part, your pedals rotate in a 1:1 ratio with THE wheel because there’s no gears, unless you invest $1,000 in a unicycle gear. It’s a lot of fun, and great exercise, plus it’s a pretty good conversation starter for introverted guy like me. I really enjoy distracting people on tours and riding around on football Saturdays. Have you ever wiped out on campus? I have wiped out many times on campus. That’s just THE nature of what I do. I have also fallen a couple of times in THE snow on my way to class. (Yes, I even ride in THE snow.) Is it safe to assume you and @OSUnicyclegirl are a thing? Yes, Molly (@OSUnicycleGirl) and I have been dating for about 8 months. She lived across THE hall from me and I ended up teaching her how to unicycle. When people ask me where my other wheel is, she’s THE answer.

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@OSUCrush: Definitely not whoever THE fuck runs this account. You grabbed this account by THE p*ssy and ran it into THE ground. Stop acting like a freshman and figure it out. Good job. You blew it. | 24 Likes

Any idea who wrote in? An angry ex? I’m guessing it’s someone who submitted something racist, sexist or homophobic that I didn’t post. Probably some guy who misses THE GLORY DAYS when Crush posted anything, regardless of if it was offensive or made people uncomfortable. What do you make of THE “grabbed this account by THE p***y” comment? Does it even make colloquial sense? If by “grabbed this account by THE p***y” this person means “timidly took over an account with a cult following, got suspended for a Tweet within a month of starting my job and have been cautious with submissions ever since,” then yes, absolutely, I did just that. I’m more concerned with THE “stop acting like a freshman” part, though. I just graduated. Maybe that’s my problem. What do you think of THE 23 likes for THE tweet? High or low? Honestly? It’s a bit high. I just wish I could decipher if those 23 people are in agreement that I suck at running THE account, or if they’re liking in support of me. Probably THE former, but I’m an optimist. Planning on making changes? Absolutely not. Send me all THE hate you can. Send me all THE support you have. Just don’t submit anything bigoted *cough cough* and we’ll be good.


Buzz Lightdick @alexcraig63

@OSUCrush: To THE girl who gave me her whiteclaw at midway who went to THE galantis show Please comment I’ll def buy you and your friends a replacement claw | 3 Likes For girls who are nervous about buying a guy a drink, what advice do you have? Buying someone a drink doesn’t always mean you are into THE person, but if that’s your intention, make it known and shoot your shot! If not buying drinks, what other ways do you like to make ~moves~ at Midway or other bars? Anyone who knows me personally knows I am very direct and to THE point. My “moves” are definitely unique because I am unique. They can range from direct flirting to being like “Hey do you wanna leave and f*ck?” It all depends on who I’m with, what THE vibe is, and how under THE influence I am. What are THE rules of being a good wing woman? There are several rules I personally play by being a wing woman. Some rules include; be honest with who you are assisting, be a hype woman, and be cautious about what you say about someone! 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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DRUNK ZODIAC SIGNS: T HE moons and suns and stars are at play again and...wait, suns and stars are THE same thing. Whatever they are, they’re working THE wide open outer space again, and they’re controlling all of your thoughts, emotions, and heart strings. (Am I understanding THE zodiac right?) For whatever it is that astrology means for you, 1870 is here to pair a drink with your fast-approaching destiny. Trust me, you can definitely trust us. Cheers!

Scorpio

(OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)

Virgo

(AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 23)

Confl ict is coming. You know what you want, but there will be challenges to face before you get it. There are going to be a lot of changes coming at you too, so get ready. You need to have your head in THE game, but you might also need to drown your sorrows in multiple bottles of your favorite red wine.

You want change, Scorpio, but if you fight too hard this month, THE changes that come won’t be good ones. You may fi nd it hard to stay still, but appreciate what you have. Go for a bold change in your drink choice to get THE itches out of your system: a bold, adventurous Vegas Bomb.

Aquarius

(JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)

There is tension in your home life and demands from other relationships will only intensify THE strain on you. Despite this, a resolution to many of your fi nancial and work problems is coming. Use that extra cash cash money to buy yourself a Painkiller (THE drink, not THE drug) to ease some of that tension.

Sagittarius

(NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 21)

THE beginning of this month is going to be a struggle, leading you to become frustrated and restless. There are opportunities coming your way, though, so be patient. In THE meantime, get yourself smashed on as much tequila as you can take.

Libra

(SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)

You’re feeling pretty impulsive this month, Libra. Things are going well, but don’t risk it. If you stay THE course, everything will stay just as bountiful. You’re all about balance, especially this year, so get yourself a balanced martini.

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Capricorn

(DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 20)

Your

popularity is skyrocketing, but work and other responsibilities will leave no time to bask in it. Lean on those that care about you and don’t overstress yourself. On your occasional night off, you’ll treat yourself to a sweet Sex on THE Beach.

1870 MAGAZiNE • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870mag.COM

Pisces

(FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)

You’ll be tempted into excess this month. Finances are bountiful and you’ll be eager to spend, but if you act too impulsively, THE changes that are coming will hit hard. Either way, you deserve a Sidecar... or two (or five).


Aries

(MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Relationships are important to you and this month, you should show THE people that you love that you care about them. However, THE second half of THE month is for alone time, Aries. Share your daiquiris, but keep most of THE rum to yourself.

Gemini

(MAY 21-JUNE 21)

This month is a time for new beginnings, Gemini. Make sure you get off to a good start. Difficult decisions await you. Don’t be too impulsive. Have yourself a Moscow Mule and calm down.

Leo

(JULY 23-AUGUST 22)

You’ve got a lot on your plate, Leo. Your party month is over and it’s time to buckle down and get to work. Look for opportunities and THE hard work you put in will pay off. Your hard work deserves some reward this month, so get yourself a night out and a Cosmopolitan to celebrate.

Taurus

Cancer

(APRIL 20-MAY 20)

(JUNE 22-JULY 22)

THE beginning of this month requires compromise, Taurus. A big change is coming and you have to be ready. Start THE pregame with some Jell-O shots to have THE most “productive” night.

Now is THE time to work on balance, especially fi nancially. Your social life will be abuzz, but don’t forget to keep your other responsibilities in check. If you have to spend money, it might as well be on something strong. Go off on THE vodka, baby. Shots are always cheapest and get THE job done quickest. 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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SHIT TO DO Living in Columbus means there’s never a shortage of events to go to, parties to hit up, and musicians to check out. This list is curated by THE editors here at 1870 Magazine, but we are always on THE lookout for THE next must-see event! Have an event you feel THE world must know about? Shoot us an email at editor@1870mag.com!

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Jonas Brothers THE SCHOTTENSTEIN CENTER

Many of us have waited for THE return of THE Jonas Brothers and now that they are finally back together they are gracing THE stage of THE Schott. I don’t know about you, but I will be crying my eyes out when they sing “Burnin’ Up” (I still know all THE words to Big Rob’s rap) and “Year 3000.” Even though they are all married to beautiful people now, we will all still fangirl THE whole night. (If any of you are Nick girls then don’t speak to me because we all know Joe is superior.)

9.6-9.8 Columbus Oktoberfest OHIO EXPO CENTER

Oktoberfest is a tradition in Columbus and is perfect for all ages. If you’re 21+, enjoy a beer while listening to live music, maybe even battle your friends to see who can drink THE most and be crowned THE Oktoberfest King or Queen.

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Ohio State vs. Cincinnati OHIO STADIUM

All Ohio State football games are important but this one might be closer to home for some students. Ohio State plays University of Cincinnati and many students –like hundreds– are from Cincinnati, aka me. Now I know I’ll be cheering a little louder at this game because we Buckeyes have a lot of pride and I don’t want to lose my pride. It’s all love! But also, go Bucks.

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Ohio State vs. Indiana YOUR FAVORITE BAR

Now, I know this is an away game but honestly these games are THE most lit. Make your way to a local bar on High Street and cheer with your fellow Buckeyes over a beer. You also don’t have to deal with THE horror that is Ohio State football traffic. All in all, away games are THE perfect way to cheer for our favorite team while still having a relaxing Saturday.

9.13-9.14 3rd Annual Columbus Caribbean Festival SCIOTO MILE PROMENADE

If you remember an article this past summer about Caribbean food in Columbus in 1870 (shameless plug for ourselves) then you won’t want to miss a whole festival dedicated to Caribbean food. I really hope you guys checked out those restaurants but not to fret, THE majority of THE restaurants featured in THE article will be at THE festival. Besides having some of THE best food I’ve ever eaten in my life, you can go just to enjoy a day along THE Scioto Mile plus extra festivities.

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Ohio Marijuana Expo: Columbus GREATER COLUMBUS

9.14 Sneaker Freaks OH LAUSCHE BUILDING

If you love sneakers, this is THE place for you to be. This semiannual sneaker event is something you won’t want to miss. Thousands of people attend THE event to buy, sell, and trade sneakers from central Ohio. Plus, they’ll take THE time to educate others about incidents of sneaker violence. Why would you miss out on this sick, informative experience?

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CONVENTION CENTER

Columbus is THE last stop for THE Marijuana Expo series that has been touring Ohio. As lit as this sounds, THE expo is here to educate people on THE benefits of medical marijuana. They provide expo-goers with facts that can help support THE legalization of medical marijuana. They also have some pretty cool shirts supporting medical marijuana and who doesn’t want a free shrub shirt?

Ohio State vs. Miami OH OHIO STADIUM

In my personal opinion, September is THE best month for college football. You’re not completely swamped with midterms, THE weather is cooling down, and we still have immense hope for Ohio State to make it to THE championships. You won’t want to miss THE game between Ohio State and Miami because to be honest, we’ll crush them. Treat yourself to an easy win.

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John Glenn International Runway 5k Run & Walk JOHN GLENN INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

I don’t know how many of you have a dream of running on an airport runway, but now’s THE time to check off that bucket list item. You’ll be running (or walking if you’re me) on THE north runway while THE south runway will remain open for planes to take off. Basically, you’ll be running with THE view of huge planes taking off and landing beside you. All THE proceeds will go to Honor Flight Columbus, so run as much as your heart desires on THE runway.

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Columbus Mac and Cheese Festival EASTON TOWN CENTER

I don’t think I need to say much about this besides it’s straight-up a whole ass festival dedicated to mac-and-cheese. If you don’t like mac-and-cheese, never speak to me again. That is all.

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Columbus Water Lantern Festival SCIOTO MILE PROMENADE

Have you ever seen that scene in Tangled where they let THE lanterns float in THE air around THE water? Well, this is THE closest both location-wise and aesthetic-wise you’ll get to that scene in real life. Decorate a lantern and let it float down THE Scioto Mile at this festival! I know THE responsible thinkers out there are wondering how they clean it all up. Rest assured they remove all lanterns after THE festival while cleaning THE river itself. Not only is it fun for you, but it’s also fun for THE environment.

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Ohio State vs. Nebraska FAVORITE BAR

If you’re a serious Ohio State fan then I expect you to drive 13 hours to be at THE Ohio State- Nebraska game. You’re not a Buckeye fan until you’ve road tripped your way to an away game, or at THE very least a bowl game. Even if you don’t spend half a day driving to Nebraska, I guess you’re still a fan if you tune in to watch THE game from Chumley’s. As long as you remember to yell “O-H” every time you take a sip of beer. 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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_Poets of Campus 1870:

BY 1 870 STA F F

Fun fact: not everyone at Ohio State came here to study engineering! There are crazy talents and voices all around campus, so this month we’re highlighting THE poets of campus to gently reel you into THE bright autumn season. Without further ado, Andrew Wallace.

Came to tame THE tools and cadence of your trade. Usual service, learning looks THE same day after day. Tray after tray in a while it will all taste THE same. You waited so patient, ‘case they forgave THE bill. You ate it, you paid it, you came late, make THE grades up still. “Once I graduate I’d be ashamed to deal.” Afford another wishing well to sell your peers. High wage torture at THE take home I make over kill. Buy me at THE stake, to make joke appear. You could find a clock to watch in any field. Fear you bought a lot of talk that wasn’t real. Y’all can flock to ball games; stay to cheer. Tuition in THE system laced THE pavement here. You visiting THE stadium to shake and chill. You got a lot to go before you make a mill. I know off campus trappers that still be living off happy meals. I know missing bikes still in traffic still. Remember weUsed to smoke weed out THE gravity. Going to THE parking lot we’d spark between THE class at three. Hooky. Only way I ever sleep. Reap these benefits, or fix a clever speech. Gifted ‘til we wrap ourselves in plastic sheets. Forming madder habits than a hatter need. Formulas parabola back out of reach. Perhaps a bowl of gas could catch me up. Patch me up, haberdashery. Had a dash of hash to pack instead of read. Truth is: You should extend THE class I had a casualty. Truancy? Books to me? Please, whose is these? Fuming bad ass students using gasoline. Losers late to math, you still past. A ‘C’ established me. We been high as class since eighteen seventy.

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Shameless plug: I’m Andrew Wallace, also known by my porn name Spencer Vine. I’m also THE founder of an online community of spoken word artist called @SnappedPoetry. Check us out on IG. I’m @andrewwally.


Fall is Here: Seems so far from here.

Leaving home Freshmen year All those ball games. All those Fall cheers. Wore cargo shorts every day. Tank top courtesy of Targét Thought I’d major in making a name. Thought I’d rule THE world someday. Comeback season next semester. Second lesson in sex impressed her. Who thought we’d end up in love? Who thought we’d move in together? Budget Summer got by, but not by much. Hog tied and bought hand cuffs. We thought it was love, but it was lust. We thought it would last, but nothing does. It hurt at first, I mean it had to. For all we’d been through not to matter. I had my things to do. I’m sure she had hers. Back to school meant back to Toos til 2. New job and extra dollars to abuse. Not an alcoholic, but I use too much. Used to get drunk and say I knew too much. We got to THE hospital they locked me up. Got back in time so no one missed me none. Unfinished a short story, pharmacist my plug. I still roll my drugs and cough up dry lungs. I never juiced or Juuled I’m just a student. I’m extra special and I’m disillusioned. Bipolar and biracial I’m an oddball. Stole a Bible page from a Buddhist. By God’s faith, He will see me through this. THE evil one will offer free fruit smoothies. Reach out to me if you see right through it. Ain’t nothing free. Not even you kid. •

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Sustainable Fashion W/ SARAH PARK E R

BY L I ZZ Y OG BON NA | P H OTOS P R OV I DE D BY SA R A H PA R K E R

I

t’s easy to shop online for clothes these days. “Fast fashion” has taken over what styles we see as being trendy and popular. Not only do these kind of brands churn out new styles frequently, but they also take almost no time to get to your doorstep. But THE downsides of this are becoming more and more detrimental to THE environment. With overproduction of merchandise, unfair conditions and wages for factory workers, and fabrics that don’t degrade quickly, fast fashion brands are... Unethical, to say THE least. Because we live in an ever-consuming society, sustainable but also affordable style is key to leading this new fashion revolution. But what exactly does sustainability look like in regards to fashion? Starting here in Columbus, there are a bevy of shops that take a more ethical approach to their production and distribution processes. Nearby boutiques that design with locally sourced materials and low distribution-related pollution in mind are Altre Wear, Hangar 391 and Small Talk.

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There are also, of course, reliable thrift shops and secondhand stores like Goodwill, Rag-O-Rama and Out of THE Closet that Columbus natives can visit when trying to reduce their clothing carbon footprint. Beyond just clothing, THE lens of sustainable fashion extends into shoes, accessories, water bottles, cosmetics, skincare, you name it. Promoting this idea of green consciousness is a mission for brands like Milk Makeup and LUSH cosmetics, for example. They aim to create vegan and cruelty-free products, limiting their harm on THE environment. On THE other hand, brands like H&M have programs where you can “donate” your gently-worn clothes and fabrics to them and then receive a small discount on your next purchase. You could say this is a baby step in THE right direction, however this doesn’t do enough to negate or counteract THE overwhelmingly wasteful mass production


of new products by them and other companies. Ohio State student Sarah K. Parker has been steadily contributing to THE evolution of a more eco-friendly fashion industry. She sees that THE industry is making progress, but she recognizes that environmentalist efforts such as using recycled materials in fabric are how to make a lasting change. “As I began to age, I became more aware that fashion’s impact spans across many industries in an interconnected web of cause and effect,” she says. “Especially in terms of environmental impact.” She cites a 2015 Penn State study when describing her inspiration to use alternative fabrics in her designs. “It takes a whopping 1,800 gallons of water to cultivate enough cotton for one simple cotton tee. Don’t even get me started on jeans… One of THE key synthetic fabrics that is used by fast fashion retailers is polyester and its primary ingredient is plastic.” Because plastic takes decades to decompose, Parker has instead decided to use a recycled plastic material called Eco canvas to help lower THE creation and impact of newer synthetic products. Additionally, her goal is to leave little to no fabric scraps left after construction. With this in mind, there truly are a multitude of ways that we all (especially in THE fashion industry) can cut back on such production and consumption. To quote THE 1975, who are reprinting new designs on their old unsold merchandise, “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!” •

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Live Freely THE campus home you didn’t know was so close to home BY BAY LIE SCHWA M BER G ER | P HOTOS BY L EX I UJ C ZO WHAT IF I told you there was an innovative community on south

campus you’ve never heard of? This apartment complex is right behind Smith-Steeb on 10th, and it’s called Creative Living. Creative Living allows those with physical disabilities, for example cerebral palsy or different cases of paralysis, to live independently. Everything is accessible for wheelchairs and power chairs, and there are Resident Assistants (RAs) on staff to help 24 hours a day with anything a resident might need. Although in this case, THE residents are like friends. It’s a true hidden gem near campus, and people should definitely know about it. I had THE chance to learn more about Creative Living from THE perspective of Sarah Maggied, THE Senior Manager of Donor Services and Development, Olivia Headley, an RA, and Andrew Fox, a resident.

Creative Living Maggied was able to provide a lot of information about THE background of Creative Living. It was established 46 years ago after an OSU football player was injured during a fraternity football game. He became paralyzed (quadrapeligic), and his friends would carry him up and down stairs to classes on campus. He was often at Dodd Hall (an inpatient rehabilitation clinic), and his friends realized there was no place he could live on his own near campus. Creative Living was born after that––there needed to be more accessible housing. Currently, 25 of THE residents at Creative Living are OSU students studying different things and at different degree levels—one resident even runs a club on campus. Other OSU students can find purpose here, too. Sarah said that working at Creative Living is “THE perfect job for a college student.” In fact, one of her main goals is to bridge THE gap between OSU and Creative Living, as many students don’t even know it exists. Shifts are scheduled in four-hour chunks, and you can study when you aren’t busy helping residents. Creative Living is always looking for more RAs and volunteers, so if you’re currently looking for either, stop over. Working or volunteering at Creative Living is a great opportunity to meet more OSU students and make some new friends in THE process.

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A Typical Day Headley and Fox both found out about Creative Living in different ways. Headley saw THE hiring sign outside and has worked at Creative Living ever since. She says that THE community makes her feel “hopeful.” She is friends with THE residents and does not view herself as some sort of hero or savior; to her, it’s all just people interacting and helping other people. Headley also feels a personal connection to THE goals at Creative Living and wants to help. Fox heard about Creative Living from a peer mentor, after he was injured and partially paralyzed. He originally stayed at Dodd Hall, where they helped show him how to be more independent with things like rolling and getting into his chair on his own. Fox plays Wheelchair Rugby, which usually takes up most of his time. Other days, he exercises at Franklin Park’s fully accessible gym, where he is able to work THE machines himself. Each day is different for RAs and residents, but they usually overlap. An RA may help unload a resident’s groceries or pack their chair into a car, or they like to socialize. Headley says she sometimes hangs out with residents who are her friends outside of work, just to relax or make random fun trips around campus. Residents can call RA’s at any time for assistance without THE feeling of being watched or someone “hovering.” It is voluntarily requested, and when RAs are friends, it’s more like a quick hangout.


Future Goals All three people at Creative Living I spoke with want to see more advocacy for accessibility in THE future. Headley pointed out how High Street’s sidewalks have pot holes, which is a problem for wheelchairs and power chairs. Making sure everyone has THE chance to experience THE same things is important, and also a matter of safety. They also want to debunk THE assumptions made about people with physical disabilities and show that they can go past their limitations. Fox said that Creative Living to him is “freedom.” They all agreed that everyone should have that freedom in their own space. This place is anything but a nursing home. As for Creative Living, its main goals are expansion (it currently hosts a full complex of 34 residents and always has a wait list), but not just locally. Fox stressed how all colleges have hospitals near or on their campuses, so there is no reason why there can’t be more facilities like Creative Living across THE nation. Creative Living mainly relies on fundraising and partnering with Columbus corporations to continue their program, and they want to continue to do so to ensure a good quality of life for their residents. They’re always looking for volunteers, as mentioned earlier, and Sarah says “I’d never turn away a volunteer; it’s an open door policy.” Creative Living is so much more than an apartment complex; it has a great and unique community that you can’t find anywhere else. (Though hopefully you can find more in THE future!) But, at THE end of THE day, it’s about THE residents and THE program coming together to create a space where anyone and everyone can just be. • Creative Living also has outings and fundraising events that anyone who wants to join can go to, check them out below! Proceeds from THE events go to keeping THE program running strong. Brew Review at Strongwater on November 7 Golf Outing on September 9. For more information on events, head to creative-living.com. 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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COMEDY IN COLLEGE

BY D I A N A V E R D E | P H OTO BY K K YA N D P R OV I D E D

C

BY 8 T H F LO O R I M P R OV

omedy is a life force of its own. What’s THE best way to cope with impending midterms, internship applications, or THE molding cheese you have in your fridge that you’ve been meaning to throw out for three weeks? You probably laugh, then cry, then laugh again. Which is where 8th Floor Improv comes into play. Ohio State’s Improv Comedy team hosts monthly $5 improv shows and travels all over THE country to different schools showcasing their mad improv skills. At THE end of THE month, 8th Floor is hosting Bellwether Festival 11, THE largest collegiate Improv Comedy Festival! HELLO. To get THE full scoop on 8th Floor Improv, diversity in comedy, and Bellwether Festival, I sat down with their president Nicole Repishti, a senior history major who focuses on 20th century social movements when she’s not onstage making other people pee on THE spot.

How did you get involved with 8th Floor? My sophomore year, basically my friend THE day of auditions was like, “You should come with me, I’m not going to go by myself like please come.” And I was like “Ok, whatever.” So I went and I ended up getting a callback and getting in. So for me, it was totally random. And for most people they’ve never done improv or had theatre experience before they get in, so people just kind of go on a whim usually and find out that they’re good at it and stick with it. It’s kind of interesting how it turns out that way. Had you had theatre experience before or not really? Not at all, no. What is THE audition process like? We have two days of auditions. You only come one day and you just do two-person scenes with another person. You do that twice in THE night. A two-person scene lasts about three minutes, we give them a word, and they just start. But before that we go over like basic guidelines of improv that might be helpful to people.

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Is it a pretty selective group? I would say yes, my year, there were five new people and that was a lot, but it really depends on THE year and THE semester. Right now we only have 11 people, but we’re usually at 15 to 17 people. What does your rehearsal process look like? We practice three times a week for two hours at a time, so it’s pretty involved. Then we have a show about once a month on Fridays. On performance days, we’ll be on THE Oval flyering so it does take up a lot of time, but it doesn’t feel like it because we like it so much. How do you think 8th Floor Improv has changed over THE years in terms of diversity? When I got in, there was only one other woman in THE group and she was also THE only woman of color. So that’s changed since then, but it’s still not super diverse. We’re definitely trying to change that, because if you don’t see yourself represented on stage then you might not think it’s something that you can do, and we want to appeal to all sorts of people. We have a lot of conversations about what is appropriate and what’s not because it is so important to have an inclusive environment. With improv, sometimes something will come out of your mouth in a way that you didn’t necessarily intend to cause offense with. And because of that, we often have pow-wows in our rehearsals to see what we’re doing right, what needs to be improved, if everyone is feeling comfortable with THE jokes that are being said. And it’s like that from THE very beginning, we always say in auditions that we don’t want anything sexist, racist, ableist, etc. being said here because that kind of attitude is not welcome in our group. THE very nature of improv is supporting your partners on stage, which really translates offstage as well. We’re trying to make Bellwether THE most diverse it’s ever been just based on THE teams that we’re inviting. So we’re really excited about that and we’re definitely trying to make it a much more inclusive environment because it should be that way. It’s amazing that you guys are having those important conversations and speaking of Bellwether, what are THE origins of Bellwether Fest? It started off pretty small, kind of as a competition, but now we invite professional teams from New York and Chicago, and we also invite collegiate teams from all over THE country. We’re bringing eight collegiate teams and six or seven professional teams this year. (Speaking of which, THE list for this year includes collegiate teams from Indiana University, Mizzou, Ohio University, and professional groups Marquis, Shotgun, and Majority Rules!)


What’s been your favorite performance at Bellwether? THE one I’m always really excited for is called Hellbush, and it’s THE current women and alumni of 8th floor where we come together and do a 20-minute set on stage. That one is definitely a fan favorite because usually you don’t get to perform with all women. What is a typical day at THE Festival like? Who are you most looking forward to seeing? It’s from 7 p.m. to midnight on Friday and Saturday. It starts with collegiate teams during THE first half of THE night, 8th floor performs sort of in THE middle, then alumni come back for their own set which is always really really funny, and then professional teams go on later in THE night, and then we have one headliner at THE end of THE night. What would you say is THE best way to enjoy THE festival for a newcomer who might not be familiar to comedy? I really love all of THE groups that are coming because I invited all of them, but I would say that THE middle of THE night is definitely THE sweet spot. Also, you can come and go as you please. It’s free and you can come at 7 p.m., take a break, and come back at 10 p.m. But if you’re really wanting to see THE professionals, that’s going to be towards THE end of THE night, and those are people that you would generally have to pay to see in New York or Chicago, and you get to see them for free here. What happened when I asked her about seeing live comedy in Columbus? She admitted that she doesn’t really watch comedy here, but if you want to watch incredibly talented students making THE world a funnier place, go see one of 8th Floor Improv’s shows, always $5, always at THE US Bank Theatre in THE Union. Follow them on their socials and if you’re really feeling it. And feel free to audition at THE start of next semester!• 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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A Cool AF Internship Students at A&F Co. seem to have it all figured out BY L I ZZ Y O G B O N N A

A

s well as being an internationally-known retailer, THE Columbus-born Abercrombie & Fitch Co. is home to THE perfect volunteer and internship opportunities for Ohio State students and alumni. Recent spring ‘19 graduate, Lainey Colaiacovo, details her experience interning with THE company as integral to her professional success. “I acted as a sponge and learned as much as I could from my peers, supervisors and colleagues,” she says. “Being successful was largely attributed to learning from others’ diverse backgrounds, learning how to work with various personalities, and seeing different perspectives.” In terms of undergraduate preparation, Colaiacovo advises current students to “network with recruiters whenever they come to career fairs on campus” to start building a solid foundation for yourself before graduating. She also stresses THE importance of getting involved with student organizations while at Ohio State. Pairing her business administration major with her entrepreneurship and fashion & retail studies minors, she also relied on her involvement with a fashion organization on campus as a foot-in-the-door to securing her internship. “I was heavily involved with FPA,” –THE Fashion Production Association– “[and] it gave me exposure to professors who had great past experience in THE retail industry. I was able to apply this background knowledge to my internship.”

She now combines THE knowledge from OSU and her internship experience to guide her in her new position as a merchant. Transitioning from student, to intern, to employee, Colaiacovo has never stopped learning and evolving her personal growth. “THE culture at A&F Co. has taught me to always be open to new ideas, and how to bring entrepreneurship to a corporate setting, which is something I don’t think you can get anywhere else.” When transitioning from student life to “real life”, two Ohio State alumni felt right at home with Abercrombie. Anna Ankenbauer, on A&F’s Home Office Development team, says that working with THE company feels like an extension of college. “THE transition from OSU to A&F was an easy one. OSU set me up for success.” Not only does she think of Ohio State as a Columbus staple, but she considers THE A&F campus to be “Columbus’ best kept secret.” Ankenbauer and Grant Dwyer, who’s involved in Abercrombie’s engagement, financials and HR department, both graduated from Ohio State a little over five years ago. Ankenbauer majored in hospitality management while Dwyer majored in psychology. Beside majors, THE pair agree that your student involvement plays a large role in getting you where you need to be. “Columbus and OSU are ingrained in each other,” Dwyer

“THE transition from OSU to A&F was an easy one. OSU set me up for success.”


believes, which is a great thing to note for students looking for their next step to make. He thanks proximity for OSU students being so well-equipped for Abercrombie’s internships. Alongside staying in college (of course), Dwyer also advises current students to put themselves out there and make sure they’re being as involved as possible. THE Abercrombie & Fitch recruiting team is always bringing opportunities to interested students, such as hosting summits and inviting students to visit THE A&F campus. With their work organizing THE A&F Challenge throughout THE years, THE pair have been impressed by Abercrombie’s commitment to philanthropy and giving back to THE community. “I’m proud to be a Buckeye. I still come to campus on THE weekends in THE fall,” Ankenbauer explains. “And I feel incredibly lucky to work at A&F.” •

Abercrombie & Fitch Co. will present their Annual A&F Challenge on Friday, September 6 in New Albany from 5 to 11 p.m. THE camp-inspired music festival and fundraiser teams up with SeriousFun Children’s Network. This year’s headliners include Galantis, Misterwives, Arizona, and Greyson Chance, with supporting acts Tae and THE Wave, Bummers, THE Mighty Troubadours, and Whiskey Business. Tickets can be purchased online at https://anfchallenge.org/.


Something To Lyft Your Spirits USG’s initiative to increase availability in safe rides home this school year

BY D E L A N E Y A P P E L

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cooters aren’t THE only new thing Lyft brought to campus this year. Many Ohio State students were surprised this July by THE announcement of Ohio State’s new partnership with Lyft rideshare services. In THE official email, representatives from OSU stated that THE program is for “eligible students traveling on or around THE Columbus campus…[offering] discounted rides, inside THE designated service area, from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m.” Ohio State also published that after consulting with Undergraduate Student Government, THE new services will be replacing THE old Safe Ride program that students have known in THE past. “With THE previous system of university-run safe rides in place, students were waiting upwards of a half hour for a ride. Concerns about THE long–and therefore dangerous–wait times had been a common grievance among THE student body for many years,” said Kate Greer, USG Student Body President. THE logistics of THE program as officially published by Ohio State are that THE university will contribute $5 to each ride with-

in THE given limitations, and riders will be responsible for paying THE rest of THE charges, which are estimated to be around $2 or possibly less. Ohio State will contribute this discount to THE first 10,000 riders each month, with prices returning to their standard fare for THE remainder of THE month following this limit. There are a few caveats to THE services, such as only a shared ride can be requested. However, only other Ohio State students will be able to book these shared rides. Greer also stated that “THE biggest disadvantage of THE Lyft program as it currently stands is that it has replaced a service that was offered free-of-cost to students. THE old safe ride program was only utilized by approximately 2% of Ohio State students, but many students are still a bit upset that a free option that was once there has now been taken away.” It is hard to tell how successful this new program will be at such an early stage, but it is clear that being user-friendly is not an issue. With rideshare apps such as

“I believe that partnering with ridesharing apps is THE most futurefacing model of safe rides at universities. Many universities have piloted this before we even considered it.”


Lyft and Uber being a part of everyday college life, OSU students should have an easier time contacting a ride through THE new program than with THE old Safe Ride program. “I believe that partnering with ridesharing apps is THE most future-facing model of safe rides at universities. Many universities have piloted this before we even considered it,” said Greer, “However, Ohio State is a really influential school. Our practices in every field are observed by institutions across THE country, so it is likely that we will influence several more universities to switch to ridesharing partnerships with third-party companies.” From personal experience, I think this new program has been great so far. I had my doubts about how quickly THE discounted rides would be used up, and how big THE coverage area would be. However, THE Lyft app provides a map of THE included area, which surprisingly extends as south as 5th Ave. and as north as Riverview Dr., well beyond THE boundaries of central campus. I took one of THE shared Lyfts myself on a recent Saturday night, and was pleasantly surprised with THE service. Although taking a shared ride did take a few minutes longer for pick-up than your standard Lyft, THE wait times are still incomparably better than those of THE previous Safe Ride services. There was another Ohio State student already in THE car when I was picked up, so if you can stand a couple minutes of either awkward silence or small talk then you’ll do just fine. Plus, you’ll have a couple extra dollars to spend wherever you’re headed! As thousands of students flock back to campus for THE start of THE year, THE new services will certainly be put to THE test in THE coming weeks. Following THE first week of class, THE app has yet to surpass it’s allotted 10,000 rides for THE month. Ohio State representatives and students alike will have their eyes on September, THE first full month with campus running at full capacity. I for one have high expectations, and hopefully a wallet that is slightly more full. •


BAR S R A T S ZO AND LEXI UJC RANT JONES P H OT O S BY G

Thanks for a great first few weekends, Buckeyes! We loved seeing you out around campus again. Here’s to another semester of happy, sweaty faces. (Special thanks to Big Bar’s Skybar, Ugly Tuna 2, and Lucky’s!)

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ADV E RTO R I AL

Suzi Cue: THE bar every campus should have

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hen you walk in you’ll see blue carpets, a wooden bar, and lines of pool tables. Immediately, you relax. At Suzi Cue’s, there’s no pressure. Grab a beer, a pool stick, and think about your homework later because today is about relaxing THE way college students do best. It only takes a couple nights out at Ohio State before you realize how oversaturated High Street is with nightlife. For THE dive bar-duckers like me, THE search for a bar that doesn’t pound my ears out with music I don’t know THE words to seems never-ending. THE solution to this tragedy is heading away from High. You’ll find older buildings, more established hideouts, and authentic, slow-paced watering holes. An easy walk down 4th Street will run you into Suzi Cue Pool Hall on THE corner at 18th. This is THE kind of bar you always hoped your college campus would have. Students want history, we want a little tradition. We want a bar that alumni can come back to and say, “This was my place.” I found yours: Suzi Cue! Since its opening in 1982, Suzi Cue is campus’ only pool hall. While fighting strangers over one pool table before realizing you don’t even have enough quarters in your pocket to play sounds absolutely enthralling, make it easy on yourself. Suzi Cue has 11 total pool tables, by far THE most anywhere near campus. You can forget your quarter qualms––Tuesdays and Thursdays are completely free pool days for all students with a college ID! (And fun fact, THE tables are older than some current students’ parents and meticulously maintained with THE best felt that money can buy, for THE truest roll in town.) Looking to get THE squad together for some friendly competition? Hit up one of their nine-ball tournaments on Mondays starting at 8 p.m. and come back on Tuesdays for half-off all Ohio Beers. If you join one of their pool leagues starting September 11, you’ll get free pool on Mondays and Wednesdays, too! There’s no need to spend money on an Uber

downtown just to find an arcade bar that actually gives you something to do other than drink. THE boredom never ends here; aside from pool, there’s ping-pong, foosball, pinball, pop-a-shot basketball, and darts. What an absolute classic bar experience you won’t get anywhere else on campus.

We want a bar that alumni can come back to and say, “This was my place.” I found yours: Suzi Cue! THE selection of beers on tap and low hanging Fireballbranded lamps make it feel like your big brother’s secret hideout, and THE bar itself curls into a rounded-out seating area perfect for large groups and good conversation. If you graduate not knowing how to use a pool stick or throw a dart, truly do you even deserve that degree? (Hint: you don’t. Get on that.) Don’t question it, grab a beer and ease back into a chair at Suzi Cue’s. (One that’s sure to have sat quite a few alum over THE years and many more to come.)

Suzi Cue Pool Hall is located at 1950 N 4th Street and open from 2 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. every day, and they’ll always open early for OSU and NFL games.


D

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WORM T S S E

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R EARLY

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BY ASA HERRON

In my experience as a college student, there is no more important decision I’ve made than to start eating breakfast regularly. Normally, clichés disgust me, but “breakfast is THE most important meal of THE day” seems like some sage advice to me. You only get so many days in this life, so you might as well start them right. I feel like I was missing out on breakfast all these years as a foodie, because breakfast is truly scrumptious! Luckily enough, Columbus is home to many delicious breakfast spots, so I’ve put together my list of THE best places near campus for you to start your day on THE right foot.

BEST BREAKFAST FOR YOUR HEALTH: • PH OTO BY E T H A N C L E WELL

R U SH B OW L S

For a healthy start to my day, I stop into Rush Bowls at their convenient location on Lane Ave. It’s perfect for anyone taking their engineering, business, or architecture classes on north campus. I get THE Beach Bowl––a harmonious frozen symphony of guava juice, açai, banana, and mango topped with granola and honey. When I’m feeling like my body could use all THE help it can get, I sometimes add soy protein, kale and spinach mix, and chia seeds to supplement my diet. If you’re conscious of your sugar intake, skip THE granola and honey toppings. My favorite part of eating at Rush Bowls is THE energized feeling I get when I finish my meal. Not only does my body feel energized, but my mind does too, which allows me to avoid all THE negative side effects of caffeine.

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BEST BREAKFAST FOR YOUR HANGOVER: H A N G OV E R E ASY | • PHOTO BY COLLI N S L AATSCH What Hang Over Easy can do to cure your hangover is Ohio State folklore at this point. I believe they had to have conducted tireless experiments over THE years with THE biology department to concoct THE perfect formula so their meals can alleviate even THE most brutal of hangovers. Some people believe Hang Over Easy’s best hangover relief is found at their full bar. That may be true, but THE perfect cure for me lies in THE Sausage Skillet. This beautiful combination of eggs, sausage, veggies, and THE perfect amount of queso will have your stomach rethinking how much it hates you after what you put it through THE previous night. Hang Over Easy’s location on Neil Ave. puts you right in THE heart of south campus, so you can conveniently stop for breakfast during your walk of shame. THE environment is comfortable and beams with positive energy. THE warmer months allow them to open their garage front door and use their outside bar stools, supplementing their already spacious atmosphere. When you leave Hang Over Easy, I guarantee you’ll agree with their motto, “Breakfast Cures All”.


BEST BREAKFAST FOR YOUR CHILL VIBES: KATALINA’S, TOO!

PH OTO BY B R I A N KAIS ER

THE beloved, locally-sourced café which originated in THE Harrison West neighborhood, Katalina’s Café, has opened up a second shop on High Street in Clintonville. THE restaurant’s beloved Pancake Balls are finally accessible to students who don’t have a car. Katalina’s, Too! is in a prime location, so you can wake ‘n’ bake with your friends, grab THE 2 COTA bus north up High St., and get off at THE Broadway stop to immerse yourself in deliciousness. I may be certifiably addicted to their Pancake Balls with THE dulce de leche filling and Sweet ‘n’ Spicy bacon on THE side. When I wash it down with their fresh-squeezed orange juice, THE taste overwhelms my senses to THE point that I cannot focus on anything I am seeing, hearing, feeling, or smelling. There might as well be only my meal, my tastebuds, and me in THE universe at that point. Katalina’s, Too! has a similar feel to THE original but with more seating, big pieces of art on THE walls instead of graffiti, and an altered menu. Eating at Katalina’s, Too! gives you THE opportunity to support local businesses on multiple levels since they get their ingredients from THE North Market and other local producers. Anywhere you can start your day supporting your community and eating great food, is a place I want to be. •

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POKÉ WARS (Not THE ones on Facebook)

BY N ICOL E P I ZA R R O

I’ll let you guys in on a secret. I use most of my articles in this magazine as an excuse to eat delicious food. And so, I came up with THE brilliant idea to review THE opening of our newest poké restaurant’s opening, albeit with a twist. Ninja Grill is a hibachi and poké restaurant that recently opened on THE first floor of E Lane Ave.’s Wilson Place apartments. Now, I’m not a poké expert. I’m a nom enthusiast. As such, I thought it could be cool to compare THE poké bowls at Ninja Grill with THE food at THE campus area Poké Bros.

C ATEGORY

SETTIN G

VERDICT It Depends. If you’re looking for somewhere private for a quick meal that also allows you to study in peace while reading, or if you’re wanting to get lunch with bae––Poké Bros is your go to. If you’re more interested in somewhere you can hang out with your friends –Ninja Grill wins. Their tables are really long and fit about six to 10 people. My pick: Poké Bros wins. But I’m also an antisocial motherfucker, so there’s that.

C ON CEPT PRESENTA TION FOOD QUALIT Y

PRICE POINT

Tie. Both restaurants offer signature bowls as well as THE option to build your own bowl. Poke Bros wins. Both bowls are served… Well… In bowls. However, Poké Bros serve THE poké in a bowl that has empty space for you to mix THE contents well, and with minimum mess. Figuring out how to eat THE poké without making a mess at Ninja Grill was an experience best left forgotten. Poke Bros wins. So, as a certified fatass, I eat with my eyes. Although THE color and overall presentation of both restaurants was on point, I think that Poké Bros allows for THE fish to be THE main element in THE bowl, as it should be. THE pieces of fish were bigger and were THE glue to THE rest of THE bowl. At Ninja Grill, it felt like every element in THE bowl was as important as THE next. THE food was good, but when it comes to poké, you’re there for THE fish. Ninja Grill wins. THE signature bowls at Poké Bros––especially THE Duke which is my go-to—go up to $13 without taking into account your drink. All THE signature bowls at Ninja Grill are $10.75. As far as building your own bowl goes, Ninja Grill has more options and they base their prices on how many proteins you want your bowl so you get more bang for your buck.

OVERALL WINNER: I would give this W to Poké Bros. Although both restaurants have similar concepts, I think that Poké Bros is more established. They have managed to develop a presence in Columbus with a defined atmosphere and have mastered THE presentation game. What it boiled down to for me was THE food quality. Although Poké Bros is slightly more expensive that Ninja Grill, I think that Poké Bros made THE fish THE star of THE dish–as poké is meant to be. I’m not saying that Poké Bros offers authentic poké, but their food is delicious. They are THE definitive winner of our first annual poké wars.


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“FAMILY” DINNERS BY B AY L I E S C H WA M B E R G E R

Where to take THE gang in Columbus When you’re in college, your friends become your family away from family—sometimes almost literally if you live in THE same dorm or off-campus house. They’re your go-to for parties, venting about class, and, most importantly, food. Getting dinner with THE mains is a favorite pastime for college students, but ordering and paying separately is expensive and a pain. And who can forget about that friend who wants to try everyone’s food because they hate their own? Luckily, there are plenty of restaurants around Columbus that offer family-style dinners, where you can get HUGE plates of food for everyone to share, and then you all split THE bill. Here are some of THE best places to go if you want to share THE gift of delicious dinners with your friends and save some money too.

Buca di Beppo LOCATION: ARENA DISTRICT

Buca di Beppo is located right next to Nationwide Arena, and is an absolute must-go-to place for all Italian lovers. This below-ground level restaurant looks small from THE outside, but has ample amounts of seating, as well as artwork like photographs, abstract works, and statues. Their menu is mostly different kinds of pasta and Italian meat dishes, including their famous giant meatballs. It also features serving sizes for three people (“small”) or five people (“large”). Did I mention they also have unlimited free bread and oil? No need to order extra appetizers here. If you’re celebrating something or just want to satisfy everyone’s sweet tooth, get THE Colossal Brownie Sundae—it’s basically a chalice of sugar—you won’t regret it, and you will need at least five people to finish it all.

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Schmidt’s Restaurant & Banquet Haus LOCATION: GERMAN VILLAGE

Do you love delicious German food? What if I told you that you could have an endless amount of said delicious German food, and so could your friends? Schmidt’s in German Village is where you can find this amazing deal. Pay for THE buffet instead of an entrée, and you can eat your heart out. You can’t share THE buffet between people, but having endless access to bratwurst, sauerkraut, salad, rolls, and more is completely worth it. (You wouldn’t want to share anything anyways—it’s that good.) Each person that orders THE buffet also scores a deal on Schmidt’s famous giant cream puffs. They get a new flavor of puffs every month, and one can easily feed two people, especially after you’re already stuffed. Fill up a to-go box and have your dinner prepped and ready to microwave THE next day.


P.F. Chang’s China Bistro LOCATION: EASTON

Zen lovers rejoice—P.F. Chang’s China Bistro has all your aesthetic (and Chinese food) needs covered! If you’re familiar with Easton, this place is easy to spot with its giant windows and horse statue out front. THE inside features lovely mountain artwork and circular hanging lights; think of THE shape of cheese wheels but as soft, white lights. P.F. Chang’s makes all their food fresh and in-house, so you can rest assured you’re getting THE best quality entrees. Order THE classic sweet-andsour chicken, or sample a new dish since you’ll be sharing with friends. Looking for a unique dessert to top everything off ? Try their Banana Spring Rolls. You’ll get six rolls filled with warm banana and caramel along with a unique pineapple coconut ice cream to bring THE dish together. Next time you’re at Easton with THE gang, end your night of shopping here to refuel and relax.

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THE Party That’s A Baja Blast

Taco Bell Cantina officially has their liquor license BY ASA HE R R O N | P H OTO BY A MA L SA E E D

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T

aco Bell is full of surprises. I’m sure we’d all be surprised, to our dismay, if we ever found out what was actually in their taco meat. THE day after eating at Taco Bell, I’m always surprised at how many times I have to rush to THE toilet. (Worth it every time.) And it’s surprising that they can be such a successful business with absurdly low prices. Once again, Taco Bell has surprised us all by adding alcohol to their drink menu. My expectations, upon hearing that THE Taco Bell Cantina on High Street obtained its liquor license, were very ambivalent. Am I going to walk in and see a full bar with a seperate area to order food, a la Plaza? Or are they going for something like Chipotle with bottles of beer and fresh margaritas available to order at THE register? Taco Bell’s drink menu turns out to be a similar, cheaper version of Chipotle’s drink menu. Instead of bottled Coronas and Patron margaritas, Taco Bell offers beers on tap and THE option to add rum, vodka, or tequila to your freeze. All of THE freeze flavors are available to make alcoholic––including THE holy grail of Taco Bell beverages, THE Baja Blast. In keeping with Taco Bell tradition, THE prices for THE drinks are fairly cheap. You can get a 16-ounce Bud Light for $3, Corona for $4, and Thirsty Dog or Lost Coast for $5. However, THE real treat here is THE alcoholic freeze, which is only $5. THE key to enjoying one of these boozy Baja Blast freezes is to keep mixing it and drink it fast. Otherwise, THE alcohol you have mixed in will all go to THE bottom. THE numerous televisions on THE wall and high-top tables with stools to sit at create an atmosphere that could loosely pass as a casual bar. THE real potential of this Taco Bell drink menu lies in its ability to transform your pregaming on your way to south bars in THE Short North. It’s a great quick stop before THE rest of THE night. Or, a way to bring it to a close with one last drink. I’m not so confident that this new drink menu will go well in hours just before THE south campus hotspot closes at 4 a.m, but I can only imagine THE level of intoxication that will be reached by some individuals. It’s no secret that Taco Bell is caviar to anyone under THE influence. As long as THE one security guard on duty can handle his own, you can bet we’ll be back for drinks at Taco Bell. 

CSL Plasma is a Proud Supporter of OSU Bring in your student ID for an extra $5* on every donation. Columbus CSL Plasma Center Conveniently Located at: 2650 N High Street, Columbus, OH 43202 Tel: (614) 267-4982

*Applicable for eligible qualified new donors. Must show valid student ID.

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I

Let Me Tell You All About It BY N ICOLE P IZARR O

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n THE heart of THE Short North, across THE street from Cbus institutions such as Short North Stage and Magnolia Thunderpussy, sits a storefront which many would pass by without noticing if not for THE giant ice cream cone decal on its window: Get CRMD. Before I carry on with my review, I just want to say that there is indeed no happier person than a fat kid with an ice cream cone. WOW. When I got this assignment I almost ran to THE store and I do NOT run, friends. So, with all my fatass biases out of THE way, Get CRMD is legit. THE space–which sits less than a block north from Good Boy Diner—is huge. THE main thing that seems to be lacking is seating space. THE store is very much an open space concept. At first, I thought it was modeled after THE ‘Instagram Trap’ trend, but co-owner Kristina Duong explained that their renters’ agreement keeps them from setting up seating space. And so, Duong and her husband decided to push THE boundaries as much as they could with THE space, a fact that is very evident from THE moment you walk in. THE walls are painted black with on-brand decorations that suit Get CRMD’s suggestive sense of humor. THE most infamous of these being THE neon sign that reads ‘Lick It Real Good.’ Ohio natives Duong and husband Benjamin Stoyka came up with THE Get CRMD concept after living in California for a while. They felt that Ohio was ready to get its boundaries challenged and that Columbus ––with its diverse and young population—was THE perfect testing ground. Their target clientele is open-minded millennials–as well as anyone who can vibe with THE store’s concept. I, for one, definitely fuck with it. Now, I feel like I got sidetracked talking about space and clients and shit. Let’s get back to THE ice cream. YO! IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD!!!! THE first time I visited Get CRMD was on my way home from THE 2019 Festival Latino downtown. It was hot outside. I was exhausted from all THE eating I did at THE festival. (Fatass first world problems over here, I know. What a fucking victim.) I ordered a Milk & Cereal ice cream topped with Frosted Flakes on a puffle (kind of like an egg waffle). It was delicious. THE balance of flavors really stuck with me. THE ice cream actually tasted like I was eating a bowl of cereal. THE frosted flakes on top brought in an extra element that only served to push THE experience to THE max. But it wasn’t over yet, because I still had THE puffle! By THE time I ate THE ice cream, THE puffle had absorbed some of THE melted ice cream, which made it soggy, but still sweet and delicious. THE second time I visited, I decided to go for that #FoodPorn pic, so I got a Black Vanilla Ice Cream with dinosaur sprinkles on a waffle cone. Once again, it was delicious and refreshing. This time, THE flavors were much more muted, but THE dinosaur sprinkles brought in a little more sweetness to THE ice cream. But it’s not over, folks. Oh, no. When I asked Duong what ice cream she recommended our readers try, she hit me with a Vietnamese Coffee ice cream with a chocolate drizzle. It was then that I truly passed away. All my worries faded and I went down a delicious coffee-flavored trip towards death. It was everything. 


ADV E RTO R I AL

Chumley’s: THE All-In Experience P H O TO BY CO L L I N S L A AT S C H

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h, Thursdays. THE night of THE week when you see washes of students trotting down south High Street with giant chalices in their hands. Ahem, excuse me, SCHOONERS. That’s right. All THE schooners are headed to none other than Chumley’s on 9th. While THE bizz has been on campus since 2012, their south campus location opened pretty recently in 2017 and packs a stronger punch than before. (Believe me, I went to THE old one. It had 32 TV’s. This one has 52.) You still get 32 oz cocktails for $6 and 32 oz beers for $2 on a Thursday night when you need that final push into THE weekend, and THE entire bar is shaped like none other than a legendary block “O”. This is THE ideal campus bar to come watch any game in sports at. (I saw THE Cleveland Cavaliers win THE 2016 national championship at Chumley’s and let me tell you, nothing beats happy crying with your friends and still having a visual on THE game at all times.) On non-game days though, keep this in your pocketbook as a great alternative to other chill campus bars. This is so much more than another place to get hammered at, it’s where you connect with friends after class over a beer. One of THE only campus bars with a food menu, Chumley’s packs a punch we all need to have only a walking distance away. Ask your server for one of a collection of card games and climb into an oversized booth to fit THE whole house plus neighbors, or hang out in one of THE raised seating areas by THE windows for a more chic experience. For THE bar newbies on THE field, Chumley’s was basically where I learned all of my first cocktails. Most campus bars don’t want to talk to you about what they recommend, they just want you to order your rum and Coke and go. But if college is all about studying for that degree, Chumley’s is all about studying for that drink. Their menu has a whopping list of 30 available cocktails, 50 beers on tap, and 100 bottles. This place is a real crowd-pleaser with something for everybody, even THE non-drinkers. Finding a place to bring your family that feels collegiate but nice enough for them is hard when every Saturday night is spent over sticky floors and bumping basses. Chumley’s is THE definite choice for an impromptu lunch with THE parents––they open every day at 11 a.m. and THE space is just clean and homey. If you don’t have someone to take out, spend after-class lunch here and grab a quick beer before THE next one, because who said college has rules? Let Chumley’s make them and you just play their game. Cheers!

Chumley’s is located at 1516 N High Street and open from 12 p.m. to 2 a.m. weekdays and 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. weekends. They open earlier depending on game days depending on THE time of THE game.


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Grow Up & Make Up

your jawline with your contour, making it seem as though these parts of your face cast a shadow. You want to highlight THE points on your face where THE sun would hit like your cheekbones, your nose, and your cupid’s bow.

E Y E BR OWS This is my personal favorite part of makeup, but it’s way too easy to mess these up. You should know that ‘90s pencil-thin eyebrows are OUT and natural brows are definitely more popular now. There are lots of ways to get a cute, put-together eyebrow. Eyebrows now are typically natural, defined, “Insta” brows, feathery, etc. THE one big thing that you want to remember is to fill those brows in at least a little. Stay away from thin, barely-there brows and you’re set.

Four things you should know how to do by your early 20s CAM ER ON D EV I L L E | P HOTO BY A MA L SA E E D

Makeup can be a difficult art. It’s true. However, there are certain makeup skills that everyone should know how to do by THE time they’re 20. If you mess up on these things, people will notice and probably judge you. Once you’re an adult, it’s time to be able to look like one.

BAS IC CONTOU R Now, there are a lot of extra ways to contour specifically to your face shape. There are extra places to contour (like your nose) and different types of contour. By this time, though, you should at least know how to do a basic contour. You want to deepen THE area under your cheekbones and

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BASIC E Y E BLENDING!!! Patience is key with blending and blending is THE key to a perfect eye look. This eyeshadow will keep you looking put together and professional for THE everyday. You can also make it lighter for daytime and darker for going out at night. This look is a go-to, and once you’ve got it down, it’ll have your back.


FO UN DAT ION MATC HING Queen, please match your foundation to your skin tone. Your skin tone is pretty much THE color that you’re trying to match your foundation to and can change based on your tanning habits. Know THE difference between warm and cool undertones. Having a warmer undertone means that THE base color of your face is gold or yellow. If you have a cooler undertone, then you’re leaning more toward blue or pink underneath. Your undertone should stay THE same throughout your life. Understand that you need to blend your foundation into your hairline and down your neck. If you have absolutely no clue where to start with matching your foundation, go to your local makeup store and ask a professional. They’ll also be able to help you find a foundation that works with your skin type, no matter how dry or oily that may be to you. •

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OUR TEAM IS HARD AS NAILS BY L I Z Z Y O G B O N N A | P H OTO BY A M A L S A E E D

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e’ve given you Block outfits, we’ve given you certified chants, now it’s time for ~nails~. That’s right, nail designs inspired by Ohio State football. Choose one or a combination of a few!

THE

What sets THE Ohio State University apart from other colleges and schools? That little three-letter word. Throw a gray (or silver in my case) background on THE nail. Then add a large red stripe longways down THE middle of THE nail. If you want to be precise, then use a nail brush tool so THE lines are clean. THE final step is to use a super thin nail brush tool and write out “THE” in white.

FOOTBALL

Cute and simple, but a little linework is needed. Start out with a brown polish. Use a thin nail art brush to carefully add one white line down THE center of THE nail. (Hack: Use a toothpick if you don’t have great nail tools.) Then just add a few short horizontal lines on top of that and you’re good to go. This style looks best with round or oval shaped nails to actually resemble a football!

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LET’S GO BUCKS BLOCK O BORDER

If you’re capable, use a thin nail brush to make a little Block O on your nails. If you’re like me and struggle with that (sadly… THE corners are tough), then settle for a Block O “Border” nail. A glittery red polish sets THE perfect base for a white, gray, and black border.

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THE state symbol of Ohio! You can start this design with any base color, but I chose white. Then make a small roundish shape with a brown polish. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should be about half THE size of THE nail. Then do THE same thing with a light tan color, but smaller, and you’ve got yourself a little buckeye!


SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT

Of course scarlet and gray are any Ohio State fan’s go-to colors. Sprinkle in a bit of black and white for extra flair. I chose to start with a black nail and added red stripes to it. Then I topped it off with some white and ta-da! You’ve got a design that’ll have you cheering from THE sidelines.

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BACK AT THE ‘SHOOOOOE (To be chanted like, AND TAKE HIS SHOOOOOES)

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ousaphones. Mimosas. Trap remixes of accounting professors’ online lectures. Muddy Converse shoes. Chanting “OHHH” at progressively louder volumes and stomping into THE bleachers. All these beautiful things make up one of Earth’s greatest treasures: an Ohio State game day. Maybe it’s your first season, maybe it’s your last. All we know for sure is that it’s set to be a great one. We have all THE deets on players with THE most riding on them this season for THE college football connoisseur holding this magazine, but we also have stories for readers like myself, who are extremely passionate about all things winning, but haven’t taken THE time to fully educate themselves on THE ol’ game. (See Football for Dummies on page 60.) Maybe you’re totally over THE fact that most things at Ohio State revolve around our precious football team, and you just want a year of normal Saturdays. We’ve got you covered, too. Find our list of 10 Things To Do Besides THE Game on page 70. THE seasons come, THE years will roll, but time and change will surely show, how firm thy addiction to football...O-HI-O.

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Ohio State players with THE most riding on this season BY G R I F F I N STR O M | P H OTOS BY DAV I D H E AS L E Y

Junior RB J.K. Dobbins

Sophomore QB Justin Fields Everywhere Justin Fields has gone, expectations have followed. Rated THE No. 2 overall player in THE country coming out of high school in 2017, THE five-star recruit has THE eighth highest prospect rating of all time. However, his 2018 freshman season at Georgia saw THE highly touted quarterback fail to win THE starting job under center. Fields likely felt his status as a backup wouldn’t change ahead of THE next year either, hence his transfer to Ohio State. Despite completing only 27 passes last season at Georgia, Fields has THE No. 4 highest preseason odds to win THE Heisman Trophy in 2019 per Bovada. Given THE hype, Fields’ first time throwing passes in front of THE Buckeye faithful at THE Horseshoe was a head-scratcher. Fields’ inconsistent Spring Game performance in April saw him complete 4-of-13 passing, with 98 of his 131 yards coming on one single play. Most people are willing to suspend judgment from that exhibition, but even head coach Ryan Day waited until THE tail end of fall camp to name Fields THE official starter. With Buckeye fans spoiled by witnessing THE greatest passing offense in program history last season with Dwayne Haskins at THE helm, a potentially shaky start from Fields could be jarring. THE expectations are still sky high for THE second year QB, but THE jury is still out. A stellar season would confirm THE praise that’s long been heaped upon him, but a mediocre year would, for THE first time, have everyone doubting THE quarterback who has already transferred out of one unfavorable situation.

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Ohio State’s football history is deeply enriched with legendary feature backs. From THE only two-time Heisman winner in Archie Griffin in THE ‘70s, to Eddie George in THE ‘90s, and most recently, national champion Ezekiel Elliot. After two seasons of splitting carries with Mike Weber, J.K. Dobbins will finally have THE chance to prove he belongs in THE discussion of great Ohio State running backs as he will be THE unchallenged workhorse out of THE Buckeye backfield. That potential was first shown two years ago, when Dobbins rushed for 1,403 yards as a true freshman on a staggering 7.3 yards per carry. With increased expectations, carries, and an injured Mike Weber not taking as much off his workload last season, Dobbins was significantly less effective. Despite 36 more carries, Dobbins had 350 less yards on THE ground, and his impressive 7.3 yards per carry shrank to 4.6. Needless to say, Dobbins will look for a rebound season in 2019. If able to replicate his freshman yardage, Dobbins would vault himself into THE No. 3 all-time career rushing slot at Ohio State. However, his season will have implications that reach further than his Buckeye legacy. Dobbins will be eligible for THE NFL Draft after this year, and he is slated as one of THE top backs in THE class. Outside of Zeke, there hasn’t been an Ohio State RB taken in THE first round of THE draft since Beanie Wells in 2009, and THE value of THE position in THE NFL is dwindling by THE year. While Dobbins is certainly THE most talented Buckeye running back prospect since Zeke, this season will have a heavy impact on whether he is an early round pick or slides to THE back of THE draft like his former counterpart, Mike Weber.


Senior CB Damon Arnette Jr. Five games into THE 2018 season, Bleacher Report’s Matt Miller projected Damon Arnette to go in THE first round of THE 2019 NFL Draft. At season’s end, you couldn’t have paid an NFL GM to share that opinion. Arnette was THE source of heaping fan criticism, citing his play, among others, as THE explanation for a Buckeye defense that gave up more yards per game (403.4) than any in program history. Arnette was routinely flagged for pass interference penalties in crucial situations during big games, which was deflating for a defense that struggled with giving up big plays all year. Suddenly Arnette found his draft stock trending downwards, and former Ohio State legend Cris Carter even talked him into returning to Ohio State for a fifth season. Arnette will be playing with a chip on his shoulder in 2019. If anyone was in doubt that THE Florida-native is fired up about proving THE doubters wrong, they need only turn to a spring practice in April that saw Arnette first jawing with, then swinging at Buckeye wideouts. THE maligned Buckeye defense has endured hearing about its poor year for THE entire offseason, and Arnette will be chief in bringing THE intensity and senior leadership necessary to right THE ship. While he hasn’t yet lived up to THE standard of Ohio State cornerback that has seen four CBs taken in THE first round of THE NFL Draft in THE past four years, Arnette will have THE chance to climb THE draft board after a strong 2019 season or else risk being overlooked entirely.

Senior WR Binjimen Victor Down 12 to rival Penn State with under seven minutes to play, Ben Victor made an acrossthe-body catch, ripped THE ball from a defender and proceeded to break tackles, cut back and gallop to THE endzone on a breathtaking 47-yard touchdown that sparked an Ohio State comeback win. However, that was one of just 21 catches and 4 touchdowns Victor hauled in during his 2018 campaign. With a 6-foot-4, 200-pound frame, that play alone demonstrated that Victor has all THE size, athleticism, and playmaking ability to compete at THE next level. But THE Florida-native has only shown it in flashes. Given Dwayne Haskins’ recordbreaking passing attack last season, one might think Victor would’ve been primed for a breakout year. Instead, Victor caught more than two passes in just two games, and 237 of Haskins’ 373 completions went to Parris Campbell, K.J. Hill, Terry McLaurin, and Johnnie Dixon. To Victor’s benefit, only Hill is returning to THE team out of THE four this season. Another positive sign for Victor is THE chemistry between he and Justin Fields, which was on full display during their 98-yard touchdown connection in THE 2019 Spring Game -- THE exhibition’s most electric highlight. While Hill figures to be THE top possession receiver for THE Buckeyes, Victor may end up with more game-breaking highlights as he may be THE go-to long ball and run-after-catch option for THE Buckeyes, as well as a red zone threat due to his size. While improvement was expected of Victor last season, it will be necessary this year as THE Buckeyes try to replace THE record-setting receiver production from 2018.

Senior DE Jonathon Cooper In Jonathon Cooper’s tenure at Ohio State, he has seen four teammates playing his position get drafted in THE first four rounds of THE NFL Draft. Fighting for playing time behind fellow defensive ends Nick Bosa, Tyquan Lewis, Sam Hubbard and Jalyn Holmes was no easy task, but it has limited THE onetime five-star high school prospect to just 5.5 sacks in three seasons with THE Buckeyes. Cooper’s senior season will be his second as a starter, but with potential All-American and first round draft lock Chase Young playing on THE other end, Cooper runs THE risk of being overlooked once again if he doesn’t produce a stellar season rushing THE passer. THE attention given to Young may benefit Cooper on THE field this season, however, as offenses key in on him and send double teams that may free up opportunities for Cooper. THE Gahanna, Ohio native may also benefit from THE realigned defensive schemes that have been teased by first-year Ohio State codefensive coordinators Greg Mattison and Jeff Hafley, though defensive line coach Larry Johnson remains in place for THE Buckeyes. If Cooper does have a breakout year, he would not be THE first Buckeye to rise from relative obscurity to end up in THE NFL. Jalyn Holmes had only 5 career sacks in four seasons before being selected in THE fourth round. Michael Thomas was redshirted in his sophomore year before going on to become THE highest paid wideout in THE NFL. Cooper’s opportunity has arrived, and his final year will be his best crack at becoming a standout star on THE Buckeye defense. •


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BY G R I F F I N STR O M

ou’re a student at THE Ohio State University. An institution world-renowned for its incubation of intellect, influential research undertakings and overall commitment to academic excellence. But if you were fooled into thinking that was THE top priority around here, just know OSU shuts down its own medical facilities for home football Saturdays. I reckon many of you came here at least in part due to THE onfield prowess of THE Buckeyes, but if you didn’t, you better start getting up to speed. We’re breaking down football lingo both common and exotic so you don’t have to embarrass yourself in front of THE tens of thousands of frenzied football fanatics around campus.

Positions that aren’t THE quarterback Offensive line

Also referred to as THE “hogs,” these are THE big boys up front that do all THE dirty work and receive none of THE glory. They may not have recognizable names, but they are vital for protecting THE all-important QB and allowing your running back to pick up yardage. THE O-line often becomes THE whipping post for angry fans when they pick up pesky holding and false start penalties that have THE offense moving backwards.

Defensive line

These are THE big guys on THE other end of THE ball looking to slice through THE offensive line and flatten THE opposing QB or RB. THE defensive linemen are THE most likely to be outraged in animated fashion by THE ever more stringent “roughing THE passer” rules in football.

Cornerback

If you’re not paying close attention to linguistic minutiae, you’ve probably been thinking people were just saying “quarterback” when this position comes up. Rather than throwing THE ball, though, these are THE smaller, speedy guys that try to stop wide receivers from catching a quarterback’s pass. If you were wondering who it was that drunk fans lose their absolute shit about when a pass interference is called, it’s usually these guys. Or THE refs.

Tight End

Like a mix between an offensive lineman and a wide receiver, this guy both catches THE ball and blocks, depending on THE play. Think Gronk from THE NFL (no Madi, not Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove). Typically hard-nosed and known for dependable hands, a tight end used correctly can be a quarterback’s best friend for a middle-of-the-field completion when receivers are covered downfield.

Running Back

If you’re a current Ohio State student, you must have heard of Zeke. But if you’re reading a football-for-dummies list, I suppose you may not. THE running back is THE guy that takes THE handoff from THE quarterback and runs straight into THE scrum of big bodies battling for position ahead of him. Running backs are typically quick and sturdy, and able to absorb a tremendous amount of physical punishment. Now for due diligence sake, go watch some Zeke highlights and pretend like you’ve known all along.

Wide Receiver

This is who most commonly catches THE passes thrown from THE quarterback. Wide receivers, also called wideouts, might be THE flashiest position on THE team besides QB. These guys are most prone to making huge plays downfield, picking up first downs and touchdowns, which is why they are famous for braggadocio and postplay celebrations.

Slang Pancake block

A term popularized by THE legendary play of Ohio State’s own offensive tackle Orlando Pace in THE ‘90s, THE act of “pancaking” an opposing player refers to an offensive player delivering such a fearsome and ferocious block upon a defender that they end up flat on their derrière.

Mossed

“He just got mossed!!” In some sense akin to that annoying guy that yells “KOBE!” when shooting a paper towel into a trash can, THE “moss” maneuver also harkens back to a legend in their sport. Randy Moss is one of THE greatest receivers of all time, and was known to pluck a 50/50 ball out of THE sky overtop THE outstretched hands of a cornerback or safety. Despite many probably not even knowing what THE word refers to, you could very well hear it used whenever a receiver goes airborne and hauls in a spectacular catch over a defender.

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Juke

THE act of faking your direction to make a defender think you’re going one way, and getting past them in another. If a player gets juked, he will likely be clowned upon with THE added sentiment that he was juked “out of his shoes,” or if particularly egregious, “out of his socks.” Popular juke techniques would include THE stutter-step, THE spin move, and THE cut-back.

Truck

An alternative method to THE juke, trucking someone is when a player runs straight through another. Like a truck going through a wall. Whereas a juke implies avoiding contact, a truck welcomes it openly. In THE football video game, Madden, there is even a “truck stick” toggle that can be used to run through your opponent on a play.

On an Island

When a cornerback is covering a wide receiver one-on-one, mono-e-mono, without THE backup support of his safety, who would usually be playing further back downfield as a last defense.

Penalties Horse collar tackle

Picture you’re walking around THE Oval, and somebody comes up from behind and pulls you down backwards by THE top of your backpack. I can’t imagine it feels any better when it takes place on THE football field with an offensive player running full speed before being taken down by a defender grabbing THE inside of his shoulder pad. Understandably, this action constitutes a 15-yard penalty.

Pass Interference

For those of you struggling with THE comprehension of THE sport and its many complex rules: when a large group of fans are all simultaneously foaming at THE mouth with boisterous seething rage, just assume THE ref threw a flag for pass interference. Particularly deflating for fans and defenses, this is when a defender (usually a defensive back or safety) grabs or overly contacts a receiver while THE ball is in THE air or on its way to him. THE anger is usually derived from THE arbitrary nature and differing degrees in which this penalty is called at different times.

Holding

You’re watching a game, and THE Buckeyes just picked up 17 yards on a J.K. Dobbins rush. HOORAY! But no, that yellow icon pops up on THE screen, indicating a penalty. However, you didn’t see what happened and can’t understand why, but suddenly THE offense is moving back 10 yards. This was likely a holding call, most commonly called on offensive linemen who are illegally grabbing or holding onto a defender after they have been beaten for positioning.

False Start

Another penalty that will have you cursing your offensive line, a false start is when somebody moves on THE line of scrimmage before THE snap of THE ball. This can also be committed by a receiver, tight end, or any other position, but you’ll most often see it with THE O-line, or due to botched communication between THE QB and his center.

Roughing THE Passer

THE source of fan, player, and officiating drama over THE last few seasons, roughing THE passer is when, primarily a defensive end or defensive tackle, makes illegal contact to THE quarterback. While THE penalty used to include blatant late hits or particularly vicious abuse, it can now be enforced for hitting too high or low, landing on THE QB, making any contact with his helmet, or sometimes simply hitting him too hard. Much to THE chagrin of defenders and old school gridiron purists.

Miscellaneous Terms Hail Mary

Just as THE name suggests, a hail mary is employed when all you’ve got is a hope and a prayer that THE play might be successful. Usually at THE end of THE game, if a team is trailing, but still needs a touchdown or is out of field goal range, THE QB will launch THE ball as far as he can into THE end zone, where THE team will have an onslaught of receivers beelining it in order to haul it in or catch THE ball on a deflection. If you’re more familiar with basketball, this is THE football equivalent to a full court buzzer-beater. When pulled off, this is one of THE most miraculous ends to a game you could hope to witness.

Blitz

Short for THE german term “blitzkrieg” which translates to “lightning war,” a blitz is an all-out assault on THE QB from THE opposing defense. Aside from THE usual pass rushers on THE defensive line, a blitz is when additional defenders will come up to THE line of scrimmage to send extra pressure at THE quarterback to force a sack or a rushed decision.• 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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8 THINGS YOU CAN DO IN THE SHOE NOW THAT THERE’S WIFI BY M EER A MATH U R | P H OTOS BY L E X I UJC ZO

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You’re close to blacking out from your pre-game Block partying, and you’re ready to make some poor decisions. By THE grace of Brutus, you’ve actually made it to THE game, but you’re belligerently drunk and need a release after screaming for THE Buckeyes for THE past couple hours. We are in no way endorsing texting your ex (not THE best coping mechanism), but hey, if it works for you, you’ll be able to do it with access to WiFi.

If you can’t possibly wait until after THE game to get your nasty on, don’t fret. There’s no need to make a CVS run; with apps like GrubHub, you can actually get your rubbers delivered right to you. Go ahead and hook up in one of THE isolated community bathrooms with ease and peace. You deserve it.

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TEXT YOUR EX TO SET UP A POSTGAME BOOTY CALL

TRASH TALK THE OPPOSING TEAM ON TWITTER

Feeling in THE school spirit but lost your voice at Block? Feel free to virtually shout your insults online! You can even direct them to a specific player, or if we’re playing TTUN, Jim Harbaugh himself! Get creative with it and start meme-making; THE Buckeyes are counting on your demoralizing tweets aimed at THE opposition to find THE spirit to win THE game.

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GET CONDOMS DELIVERED DIRECTLY TO THE SHOE

TAKE THAT QUIZ YOU FORGOT WAS DUE TODAY

Everyone has been there. You’re standing there, enjoying your morning mimosa and feeling content, when suddenly a wave of panic consumes you. You totally forgot that you have a Carmen quiz due in an hour. Unlike in THE past where you would have to dash home to finish it and consequently miss most of THE game, OSU came up with a great solution. Now you’ll have THE service to finish that quiz while still enjoying THE live entertainment of grown men knocking each other to THE ground! Ohio State stays looking out for our education.


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POST THAT PORTRAIT MODE PICTURE OF YOUR BLOCK ‘FIT

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ACTUALLY LOCATE YOUR MISSING FRIENDS

We all love an original and cute Block outfit. Usually one would have to wait until THE game finishes to post their subtle “‘fit check” Instagram, but it’s 2019. We’ve evolved. Feel free to divert all THE attention from THE game to your portrait mode group picture at Delt–gather those likes and your ego will be boosted almost as much as it is when THE Buckeyes bring home a win.

Block can be messy for THE best of us. People split up and wander to different parties, some black out and disappear, some need to make a last minute stop at Chick-Fil-A for drunk nuggets. We all make promises to meet up at THE game, to no avail. Without service, it was pretty near impossible to locate your missing pals, which was often dangerous, because THE opposite of safety is a drunk college kid stumbling around a crowded stadium. However, with reliable WiFi, we should all be able to herd our friend groups together again after getting separated with ease.

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ORDER ADRIATICO’S FOR PICKUP AFTER THE GAME

There’s no need to get caught up in THE post-game crowd for food. Now you can skip THE crowds and grab your five cheese pizza before THE hoards of passionate football fans clog up THE lines. Make THE post-game a yummy one and order your sustenance before everyone else; you definitely won’t regret it.

CHECK YOUR EXAM GRADE THAT JUST GOT POSTED TO CARMEN

This one might not be THE most appealing of options, but we all know when we get that notification that says our exam grade was updated to Carmen, it’s damn near impossible to resist THE urge to check how we did. Checking your grade could either add to your elation, or severely depress your mood and dampen your school spirit. It’s truly Sophie’s Choice, but at least now with good service, you’ll actually get a choice.

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LEADERSHIP BY MADI TASK | PHOTO BY DAVID HEASLEY

“Hey, Urban. URBIE! If you will! Ha, right COACH? Good ol’ sport? Ahem, anyways I was wondering if you could write a letter of recommendation for me..” Last spring semester, 198 students at Ohio State had THE opportunity to finnegle their way through conversations like that because they were officially one of Urban Meyer’s students. Our former Ohio State football overlord finally retires, and he spends that time back on campus but in a new way. We reached out to Caroline Elsass-Smith, Abbie Rentsch, and Jacquelyn O’Brien, three students who took Character and Leadership (BUSMHR 3211), to get THE real review, THE public SEI’s, if you will, of a class taught by THE head coach.

WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT URBAN MEYER IN A CLASSROOM SETTING THAT YOU DIDN’T EXPECT?

a 30-minute presentation to our recitations comparing and contrasting two known leaders (a good and a bad) with that trait.” - Abbie

“Urban doesn’t allow anyone to wear any kind of hat while he is lecturing. He would ask you to remove it before he began.” - Caroline

HOW FREQUENTLY DID MEYER TELL FOOTBALL STORIES IN CLASS?

“I was definitely surprised by how personable and approachable he was. He came up to me on THE first day of class and asked me my name and where I was from and he was chatting with a bunch of different students before class even started.” - Jacquelyn

“Every class! I loved it. He would show videos and we were required to clap after. He let us all try on his Rose Bowl/Big Ten Championship ring and I felt so special.” - Caroline

DESCRIBE MEYER’S TEACHING STYLE AS A LECTURER.

“He had us watch those for two reasons: one, ‘Don’t be afraid to be great,’ and two, he loves watching them.” - Abbie

“He’s a very direct and enthusiastic lecturer. He is THE type to call on you when you don’t even raise your hand.” - Abbie

WHAT’S THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE HE GAVE DURING CLASS?

“That is something that set this class apart. I was always on my toes because if you don’t know THE answer, you feel like you just let Urban Meyer down.” - Caroline

“I would say to always think with clarity. He always mentioned we live in such a chaotic world and we have to stick to our personal values when it comes to making decisions in our lives. We have to make sure media and society are not making decisions for us.” - Caroline

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS YOU LEARNED FROM HIS CLASS?

WHAT KIND OF STUDENT SHOULD TAKE THIS CLASS?

“Striving for ‘above THE line’ behavior where you are purposeful, intentional, and skillful when making decisions as a leader.” - Caroline

“If you are a student that is looking to be a leader someday, not even just in THE workforce, but just in general, take this class.” - Abbie

“It taught me a lot not only about leadership, but also about myself. I learned a lot about how my personality plays into my leadership skills.” - Abbie

“Both Professor Buchanan and Professor Meyer emphasized THE point that leadership is a learned skill and that anyone can be a leader if you work to enhance those skills.” - Jacquelyn

HOW DOES THIS CLASS STAND OUT DIFFERENTLY FROM OTHERS IN THE BUSINESS MAJOR?

OVERALL, WAS THE CLASS WORTH IT?

“It was very much discussion-based rather than lecture-based. It was a good chance to hear and learn from other people’s opinions.” - Abbie WHAT WERE THE CLASS’S BIGGEST PROJECTS? “There was only one class project; it was a group project where you were assigned your group and given a character trait. We then had to present

“100%. I was considering dropping it due to taking 17 credits as a graduating senior. I am so happy I stuck with it because it was one of THE most beneficial classes I took in college.” - Caroline If you’re interested in taking Urban Meyer’s class, look for Character and Leadership (BUSMHR3211) when registering for classes this year. 1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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PARTY

FOUL! Whether it’s Block or your older sibling’s off-campus house, know THE tried-andtrue do’s and don’ts of THE pregame

BY B AY L I E S C H WA M B E R G E R

What is THE pregame? Some would say it is purely drinking before THE football games, which is a fair and accurate point. Some summarize it in one word: party. However, there is so much more that goes into pregaming and having a good time besides alcohol. You have to decide what to wear and make a game plan (pun intended) for your entire morning, otherwise things can go terrible pretty quickly. Whether you’ve never pregamed before or if you just want to compare your pregame list to mine, here’s some do’s and don’ts you can follow to make this football season your best.

DO: Get up early for noon games. We all want to sleep in on Saturday, but THE bars will be hopping and Block will have no beer left by THE time you drag your ass there at 11:30. You need time to pregame, walk to THE stadium, and sit down before THE band plays. Trust me, it’s a system.

DO NOT:

Get up late. You will miss out on all THE fun beforehand; everyone will already be focused on THE game! And you don’t want to arrive if things are taking a turn for THE worse. (Crossing my fingers it doesn’t this season!) Everyone will be in a bad mood and you’re not even drunk for it to make it that much more fun. Also, people are notorious for sitting in THE wrong seat, so if you arrive late you’ll have to fight THE crowd, too.

DO: Go to Block, THE bars, radio celebrations. Go ahead and take all THE shots, and make sure you drink all THE free Natty and White Claws you can with your friends. Head over to Midway, Leo’s, Lucky’s, anywhere on High Street to start a mini-bar crawl beforehand if you feel like being bold.

DO: Dress up. Wear those cute leggings you’ve been saving for fall, put temporary tattoos on your cheeks, sport those adorable Brutus hats, and don’t forget THE jerseys and crop tops. Put on some face paint or black cheek stripes and bring your Buckeye necklace! (Or buy one off of Lane Avenue on your way to THE Shoe.)

DO: Go to THE bathroom before THE game. This may seem like a general rule, but I can’t stress this enough. Head into a store if you have to, because you will not make it to THE bathroom quick enough if you’re walking to THE stadium from High.

DO NOT: Be late for THE game because you can’t walk in a straight line and end up circling THE stadium repeatedly looking for your gate because you’re “lost.” That said, you won’t look out of place doing this (everyone actually gets lost sometimes), but you’ll miss everything you’ve been celebrating and prepping for!

DO NOT: Forget to bring something warm for those night games, or plastic ponchos for when it inevitably rains at least one time each season. Heavy coats may not be cute and a pain to lug around, but they will save you from hypothermia. Buy some hot chocolate when you get to THE stadium for extra warmth.

DO NOT: Wait until THE stadium to go to THE bathroom, plain and simple. THE walk there will be awful if you can’t stop somewhere. You’ll have to fight through lines at THE stadium, even if you could make it until halftime. You will thank me later.


BUCKEYE HISTORY BASICS:

A SUMMARY OF THE SHOE BY 1870 STA F F | P H OTOS BY DAV I D H E AS L E Y

T

ucked away off an access road on Kenny is THE University Archives, which is like Wikipedia, but with walls and you have to fill out forms to look at stuff. And you can’t take anything in with you. There, stored in nondescript drawers, one will find no less than nine folders worth of information and memorabilia regarding Ohio Stadium. From THE original “booster literature” used

to campaign for THE funds to build THE stadium to nearly every bit of press that mentions “THE Shoe,” THE University Archives provides a fascinating narrative of this piece of architecture. Amongst your many important student responsibilities, you sadly may not find THE time for a visit. So, 1870 Magazine has provided a Sparknotes version for you.

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1887: First non-intramural football game scheduled for December. Game is called off due to rain, presumably THE beginning of a long debate about whether umbrellas can be brought to games. 1891: For two years, Ohio State Stock Company, organized by THE athletic association, sells shares for $1 per share (6% interest) and combines this with game earnings to raise $750 for a grandstand and fence on Neil Ave. 1908: Ohio Field, north of 15th Ave., is built. THE grandstands are double-decked and can seat 14,000 spectators. 1916-1919: Chic Harley plays football for OSU, bringing it to national attention and inspiring THE building of a proper football stadium, which will eventually become known as “THE House that Harley Built.” 1920-1922: A stadium campaign canvasses to raise money. Canvassing literature argues THE structure will “better manhood and womanhood … by adding to it men and women stalwart in health and consequently mentally rational.” Taking a cue from Roman architecture, THE designers plan a rotunda and columns, and an open end “horseshoe” shape like THE Roman Circus Maximus. Because ventilation. Seriously. Unlike THE Circus Maximus, THE sides are curved for better “crowd psychology,” to equalize seat values, and to accommodate a running track. Water levels from THE Olentangy River prevent a “bowl” design. Instead, THE structure is doubledecked. While THE designers acknowledge that someone might want to eventually fill THE open end with seating down THE road, university officials are not too worried since THE structure is never going to fill to capacity. October 22, 1922: THE Ohio State University dedicates its new $1.3 million stadium with a temporary capacity of 72,000 built by THE E. H. Latham Company of Columbus. THE circumference is a third of a mile. THE field surface is natural grass. THE game is against THE University of Michigan in which THE Buckeyes lose 19-0. (Several Model Ts are probably destroyed in THE post-game riots.) 1971: OSU contracts with Monsato to resurface THE field with AstroTurf (originally called ChemGrass), to THE delight of Coach Woody Hayes. AstroTurf causes a problem at spring commencement, as THE legs of chairs can apparently damage THE surface. 1974: A plan to increase capacity by closing THE open end of THE stadium is opposed. Because aesthetics. 1976: Columbus police nail 18 people climbing over fences to enter home games, due to ticket scarcity. CPD warns such activity is illegal and trespassers can face arrest and bond. During this same time, Jerry Marlowe of Dover, Ohio begins gate-crashing games. Over THE years, he successfully enters THE stadium without a ticket nearly twenty times in various disguises including a band director, a referee, a Scoutmaster, a pizza delivery man, a television crew member, and a

nun. 1979: THE Buckeyes again get thumped by Michigan. THE worn out AstroTurf is replaced. Coincidence? THE old AstroTurf is sold to fans (for noncommercial use) for anywhere from $5 to $500, furnishing rec rooms around THE state. 1980: THE new AstroTurf is vandalized at a cost of $5,000. 1986: OSU breaks THE record for “most pom-poms at a collegiate game” during a home game against Illinois with 90,000 free scarlet pom-poms distributed to fans. Sadly, before THE event can be reported to THE Guinness Book of World Records, two weeks later THE University of Southern California breaks THE new record. OSU tries again THE following year with 92,000 pom-poms. 1987: Vandals again hit THE AstroTurf, leaving an obscene message in large orange letters addressed to “Sister Mary Jane.” 1988: Despite being warned by Hugh Fowler (a regent at THE University of Colorado at Boulder) that rock concerts are nothing more than “mob actions” accompanied by drugs and alcohol, OSU goes ahead with its plan to host Pink Floyd, initiating THE Shoe’s beginnings as a concert venue. Tickets are $21 and are sold out. Despite predictions of damage to THE facility (like maybe THE AstroTurf) THE crowd is reported to be “very mellow.” 1990: OSU says fuck it. Returns THE field to grass. 1996-1998: THE Shoe houses THE Crew. 2001: Athletic Director Andy Geiger asks a post 9/11 crowd to bring their “loud Buckeye voices” to THE games and leave everything else at home. 2006: THE field is resodded because of damage. New sod dies and THE field is re-resodded three weeks later. 2007: OSU says fuck it. Resurfaces THE field with FieldTurf. 2013: 2,500 new seats are added to THE south stands. At a capacity of 104,851, THE Shoe becomes THE fifth-largest stadium in THE world. 2016: THE Shoe breaks THE national record for highest-attended spring game with a whopping number of 100,189 total screaming fans. (Ohio State, and again, Ohio State share THE top three spots with itself at 99,391 and 95,722. Respectively.) ????: You graduate, walking on THE field’s newest surface, BioCrystalTurf.•

1870mag.COM • SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1870 MAGAZiNE

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10 Things To

Do Besides Go To THE Game BY AMAL SAEED

E

veryone always talks about

1

Sleep in peace without worrying about waking up before your roommate’s hookup and seeing something you don’t want to. (If you know what I mean.)

2

Eat anywhere you want without waiting in a line, and I do mean anywhere. Want to sit in Scott alone for hours with no one bothering you? Want to lay on THE table in KComm starfish style? Do as your heart desires!

3

Catch up on homework without a billion people at THE library. (This one sucks but I did it once and ran into Grant Gustin–THE guy who plays Flash on THE CW.)

4

Catch a movie at Gateway, choose any seat in THE theater, and make loud comments in real time because no one else will be there.

5

Go downtown to THE Ohio Marijuana Expo. We love supporting THE legal progress of weed!

6

Go to THE RPAC without fear of frat dudes watching and silently judging you. Also, you can swim in THE pool minus THE 30 people that normally inhabit it. (No one will see you struggling to breaTHE after one lap either.)

7

Sell your ticket for at least double THE price. People are willing to pay big bucks for THE Michigan and Penn State games. I got $260 for my Michigan ticket last year!

8

Use that money from THE ticket and buy multiple pairs of shoes. THE ones not in THE clearance section.

9

Walk along High Street and pick up all THE drunkenly dropped fakes and sell them on THE black market, (aka to freshman).

10

Streak around campus with no repercussion. No explanation needed.

how amazing going to THE football game is, but no one

tells you how amazing NOT going to THE game is. Sometimes you’re just not in THE mood to be Ohio Statespirited and that’s okay, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If that’s THE case, we’ve come up with a few alternates to try instead of going to a football game.

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1870 Magazine: September  

Get ready to see your friends who you thought were too-cool start posting their ever-so-cheesy but obligatory “I can’t believe I get to go h...

1870 Magazine: September  

Get ready to see your friends who you thought were too-cool start posting their ever-so-cheesy but obligatory “I can’t believe I get to go h...

Profile for 614media