R ev i e w s
B E Y O N D borders... with Mark Lloyd
ark Lloyd gets all the book perks working at Borders. Our perk? We get the skinny about upcoming books ahead of everyone else. An Unknown Book That I Know You’ll Like Jim Rath builds dioramas for a living. These are those scenes in museums that represent something in nature or a historical event. These are things like a scale replica of the solar system or a scene from the American frontier with a wax mother milking a cow and a wax father planting corn. Jim’s dream is to build a museum based on the Aquatic Ape Theory of Human Evolution. For those of you who aren’t anthropologists, this theory basically states that humans have an ancestor that was aquatic. But not aquatic like a whale or dolphin, where the creature lives solely in the water. We’re talking The Unknown more like a penguin, where the creature lives on land and hunts Knowns in the water. Jim also believes in an anBy Jeffrey cient civilization that came about Rotter through the aquatic ape. He calls them the Nautikons, and they were the ancestors of the aquatic apes that stayed in the water. They lived at the bottom of the ocean, had gills and webbed feet, and were governed by women. There was no war. There was no hunger. They didn’t use each other. They were protected by what Jim calls the Estro-wisdom of the Queen. So, Jim’s wife leaves him, which probably comes as no surprise. And then Jim runs into one Les Diaz. Les Diaz is an agent in Homeland Security. He works in a division called WATERT. His duty is to protect anything that has to do with water. This would include oceans, lakes, and even water parks. He’s convinced that the terrorists are going to strike a water park in the near future. He thinks it would be just too easy to slip some lye into the water or loosen some bolts on a water ride. But when Jim sees Les Diaz for the first time, he’s convinced that Les is a member of the ancient water people called the Nautikons. Jim thinks that the Nautikon Les Diaz is here to save humanity by spreading the Estro-wisdom of his people. But Diaz just wants to show the world how dangerous water features can be if the terrorists get to them. He needs some kid to get chemical
burns in a hotel pool or some teenage girls to fall out of a water ride at a water park. That’s what Diaz wants to show the world. And he needs a scapegoat. Intelligently ntelligently written and funny, dealing with stuff ranging from the emasculation of the modern man to the paranoia of the American people, this book is definitely worth checking out
What to Watch for in June W got an ex-marine who just got out of jail and We wants to get his life back together. Do you think he might get caught up with an old friend who gets him into trouble? There will be drug dealers, stripThis Wicked pers, dog fighting, World and crime bosses. How visceral. I reBy Richard ally like the cover, Lange though. I totally judged this book by its cover. I’m that guy.
Cooking Dirty By Jason Sheehan
Roses and Thorns By Bret Michaels
Jason’s account of his life “on the line” in the restaurants of America. I guess it’ll be filled with sex, love, and death. I just like the title. I’m that guy, too. Also… Bret Michaels has an autobiography coming out too. Wooooo! I love you Bret! Wooooo!
Published on Jan 19, 2010