501 LIFE AUTHOR OF THE MONTH
Couple’s Therapist Dr. Judy Tiesel-Jensen celebrates
love, trust, commitm commi tment ent By Susan Peterson
V
alentine’s Day is a celebration of love and intimacy. But sometimes those feelings can wane. Dr. Judy Tiesel-Jensen, a noted psychologist and family therapist, defines intimacy as “to know and be known — in body, mind, and spirit.” According to her, intimacy involves love, trust, commitment, and risk taking, and there are ways couples can improve or regain it, as she explains in her book “Invitation to Intimacy: What the Marriage of Two Couples Therapists Reveals About Risk, Transformation, and the Astonishing Healing Power of Intimacy.” In this newly published work, which is described as part relationship guide and part memoir, Judy candidly recalls moments of her 35-year marriage to Reuel Tiesel after his diagnosis of Stage IV nonHodgkin’s lymphoma. At the time of his diagnosis, both worked as family therapists and couples’ counselors in their thriving private practice in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. She and Reuel offered parenting workshops and marriage retreats before specializing in co-therapy with couples. But despite the specialized knowledge they shared daily with their own clients, they faced the same challenges as everyone, as Judy clearly relates in the book. Readers describe her writing as open, honest, and relevant. Following Reuel’s death in 2007, Judy began writing as a way to help channel her grief. She recalled vignettes from their time together and included insights taken from private counseling sessions. She added to her story over the years and one day realized her memoir might serve as a legacy for their children, possibly giving them insights into overcoming conflicts, dealing with adversity, and coping with grief. It was in early 2020, during the COVID-19 downtime, that the book crystallized. She put finishing touches on the manuscript and sent it to her three adult children. A daughter-in-law told Judy how helpful the book was for them. That’s when she realized that even though her writing was not initially intended as a self-help book, it could be helpful to others.