SMS Magazine-Spring 2024, Am I Spiritually Prepared for Marriage?

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Sundie Morning Sistas Magazine

Am I Spiritually Prepared for Marriage?

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"We don't need a piece of paper to prove our love." any couples have made this proclamation, but it is not one that lines up with the truth of God's Word. As a couple, you may not need a piece of paper, but if you plan to have a union that is sanctioned by God and blessed with the unity, longevity, and fruitfulness that only He can give, it must be a marriage in all the ways He has decreed in His Word. Jesus Christ taught in Matthew 19:4-6(NLT) 4 "Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.' 5 And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together."

Marriage is God's institution, and it is a spiritual one. The coming together of a man and woman in marriage should be incredibly and spiritually significant to us because it is to God. When a man and woman ask His permission to wed, they are asking to be one and from that point on, they are no longer two individuals but one in His eyes. He joins them together spiritually in ways our physical eyes cannot see. As they walk together in marriage and begin to operate as one, their bond is strengthened. They minister and invest in one another profoundly, and this adds to the foundation of Christ in their lives, as well as in the lives of others.

This is a very important union that God has ordained and established for us. It should never be left to chance or taken lightly, and we desperately need His help to partner well. We need our Heavenly Father to guide and direct us as we prepare to enter into holy matrimony. Our commitment must be to do so in a way that pleases Him and secures this blessing for our lives. We must remember that this desire in our hearts for marriage comes from our Him. He put it there. So, as we begin the journey of spiritually preparing for a Godly and beautiful marriage, our desire for it must be submitted to Him. Understanding and humbling ourselves before God in this way is what this issue of the SMS Magazine, entitled "Am I Spiritually Prepared for Marriage" is all about.

Dating isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible because God never intended for men and women to "try on" each other like a set of new clothes. The teachings in "Am I Spiritually Prepared for Marriage" are aimed at helping singles to become grounded in their reverence for God's standard so that the doors of wedding blessings are open to them. From our very first prayer about marriage, God's expectation is that we will honor the reality that marriage is His institution, and that we must be led and guided by Him in every detail, from the very beginning until the very end.

Lovingly In Christ,

Fran Mack, President and Founder, SMS

PS: Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."

Romans 8:37(NKJV)

"Ms. Mattie told me that if I just learn how to cook, I'd find a husband." Deanna jokingly said to her friends. They chuckled as she cut the first slice of her birthday cake while celebrating with her two besties, Imani and Pam. They’re all single, but none of them want to find Mr. Right and get married more than Deanna. She's 37 and always believed she’d have a husband and children by now, but in all this time, she hasn’t come close and doesn't want another year to pass without celebrating her birthday with her future husband.

"Whose Ms. Mattie?"

Pam asked. "Is that the lady on your job that keeps bringing you Bible verses?" "Yep, that's her.” Deanna answered. “She's so sweet. She wanted me to meet her nephew, but said he loves to eat. When I told her I couldn't cook, she said "Never mind.”” Knowing Deanna’s aversion to cooking, they had a good laugh about it, but in truth, the words Ms. Mattie had spoken were a clue. Information like this can help us prepare to meet the right person for our lives, but we're often dismissive about these things, and because we are, we miss other important details that will help us as well.

here are perhaps more single women praying to cross paths with the man they’ll marry one day than probably any other time in history. The common complaint is that there aren’t enough good men to go around, but according to God’s Word, that can’t be true. The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:19(NLT), “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” This is God’s promise and He always keeps His promises. God’s supply is infinite, and His intelligence is woven through everything that exists. In His plan, He has considered every detail, and nothing has been missed. Around the same time that you were born, you can be confident that the man that you will bless as a wife was born as well. Therefore, considering God’s omniscience, love, grace, and power, it is impossible that there would not be enough good men to marry good women.

isdom requires that we acknowledge that not every marriage is a blessed one. Marriage to a man that God did not send can wreak havoc on our lives, and many of us have learned this lesson through heartbreak and pain. It doesn’t have to be that way, and our Heavenly Father doesn’t want it to be. He wants us to invite Him into our desires for marriage so that He can help us. If we want a long, fulfilling, and prosperous union, we desperately need God’s blessing upon our marriages. We need it from the very beginning, because a man and woman cannot be truly happy with one another unless God has

ordained that they should be together. In our society, it goes without saying that every person desiring marriage doesn’t ask for God’s permission or seek His counsel and direction. Even though they might plan a church wedding, it doesn’t dawn on them to check-in with the One who owns the church and owns the institution of marriage. They neglect to make sure they are making a move that is in His Will and plan for their lives. In fact, most people leave our Heavenly Father completely out of the equation altogether. This is a very unwise decision.

1Peter 2:8-9 (NLT) says “8 And, "He is the stone that makes people stumble, the rock that makes them fall." They stumble because they do not obey God's word, and so they meet the fate that was planned for them. 9 But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”

In this extraordinary passage in 1Peter 2:8-9, our Heavenly Father cements our status and His standard for us as His chosen people. We are a holy nation, and we belong to God. Our responsibility is to show others His goodness, and this responsibility cannot be overlooked. If it is, the deficit will manifest in our lives. God has a standard that all His people must meet, and this isn’t something we can negotiate with Him about. Psalm 138:2 tells us that God has elevated His Word above His name. He blesses His Word and those who follow it. He will never overstep or violate His Word, and He expects us to live by it as much as humanly possible.

God is looking for a certain quality in us, and it is loyalty to Him and to His Word. We might think to ourselves, “I’ve got a life to live. I got stuff to do. I believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but I don’t want that to be my whole life. I don’t want it to interfere with my plans.” Well, Proverbs 19:21(KJV) says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail.” We will not be able to get away from the standard of God’s Word or His requirement that we follow it. His Word isn’t burdensome, out-dated, or unachievable. It is life to us, and meeting our Heavenly Father’s standard positions us for increase! Even if we don’t meet it, loyalty to Him dictates that we’re doing everything we possibly can to do so.

Considering God’s commitment to His standard, we must know that there is a certain quality that a woman must possess to be the wife God has ordained her to be. If we don’t have it, we can’t try to strike a deal with God to give us the responsibility and privilege of being a wife if we’re not doing our best to be what He created us to be. That won’t work. Some women might say, “I don’t need to do all this. God’s grace covers me.” Indeed God’s grace does cover us, and we’re enjoying the benefit of it with every breath we take, but under this very same grace, we are empowered to do more for His Kingdom, not less. Many beautiful women of God have been praying and asking for a husband for longer than they ever thought they’d have to, and yet this blessing hasn’t materialized for them. It isn’t because God is holding the blessing of a husband hostage. He desires that every woman that wants to be a wife will be one, and happily so, but He will never overstep His Word to make this happen. Again, the quality that God is looking for from every woman, and especially from those that are praying to receive His institution of marriage, is allegiance to His Word.

In the Old Testament, the seer, Hanani, said to Asa, the king of Judah in 2 Chronicles 16:9(NLT), “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Our Heavenly Father searches the whole earth looking for those that are loyal to Him. As His children, we should want the loyalty in our hearts to cause God to pause His search for a moment and marvel at how much we trust and honor Him. We must be loyal to God, and we prove our loyalty to Him by following what He’s said. We need to know God’s Word, and more importantly, we ought to have faith in the Word we know. The rationale is quite simple. If we trust God’s Word with our whole heart, we’re going to practice it. We’re going to make it a part of us. This is the quality He’s looking for in the heart of a woman that is spiritually prepared to be a wife. Your job as a single woman isn’t to worry about whether you’ll meet the man or whether he is spiritually

prepared to be your husband. God will take care of that. Your job is to be clear and concerned about your own walk with the Father. It’s your responsibility to understand that it is not possible to have longevity, unity, and fulfillment in a marriage without God helping us every step of the way. We must have a habit pattern of praying often and seeking Him in every detail of our unions, and this is not an exaggeration. Proverbs 3:6(NLT) tells us, “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:33 (NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” We can’t have all we need if we’re not seeking the Kingdom of God first. Many women, believers and unbelievers alike, are not doing this. They are trying to be in total control of everything, from how they meet the man to all the details of the wedding. If we begin things this way, it means that we are moving according to our own will and not according to God’s Will.

Once we set the precedent of following our own will rather than God’s Will, in all likelihood, we will continue this pattern in the marriage, and this often leads to heartbreak. Our Heavenly Father is sovereign, and He doesn’t work that way. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” He’s the One with the plan for our lives. He’s the Leader and we’re the followers. He tells us what to do, how to do, when to do, and where to do; not the other way around. When we pray for marriage, we are praying for one of the biggest changes that can occur in a person’s life. Our “ask” is a statement to God and all the host of heaven that we are ready for the care of another individual according to the standard and requirements of God’s Word. Our “ask” means that we are prepared to steward their care above and beyond our own. If we’re not there in our hearts, God doesn’t say “no”. He helps us to attain the quality He’s looking for in us, and He does this as we seek Him and study His Word.

A native of Hartford, Connecticut, Imani owns a very popular and successful hair salon, and it’s the place that connected these three. When they met seven years ago, they quickly became friends. Pam was a traveling registered nurse migrating from Atlanta, and Deanna moved to a town near Hartford, and she still works at the same college she graduated from

twelve years ago. They laughed and talked as if they had known each other all their lives. Imani was just coming out of a horrible relationship, and at that time, she had sworn off marriage for good. They made a date to go shopping and have dinner together one Saturday to celebrate her new lease on life. That was all it took to solidify their bond as besties.

s. Mattie was quite fond of Deanna because she was so sweet and always took time to chat some mornings in their breakroom at work. On one of those mornings, they talked about Deanna’s desire to find the right man and how challenging it had been in the past. Ms. Mattie told her, “Sweet Girl, Marriage can either bless your life or it can make you a very unhappy woman. It can be the biggest mistake of your life. The best thing you can do for yourself and the man you’ll marry one day is to be led by the Spirit on this. Let the Spirit steer you in the right direction.” This priceless piece of wisdom stuck in Deanna’s heart and mind, and she made a commitment to learn more about the Holy Spirit.

Many single women are praying to cross paths with the man they will marry, but we must

understand that it’s the Lord who puts two people together as man and wife. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:4-6(NLT), “4 Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.' 5 And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." Marriage is a spiritual union that has been ordained and given by God. Following the leadership of His Holy Spirit is required to please Him and to have a marriage that is in line with His purpose for both people. For most singles, their lack of knowledge and understanding about the person of the Holy Spirit keeps them separated from the blessing they desire most.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” In our quest for a marriage that is sanctioned by our Heavenly Father, we cannot bypass the instruction and truth of what Jesus Christ has spoken. Our hope for marriage is moved closer to reality by following the leadership of the Holy Spirit who lives within every born-again believer.

Jesus Christ told the disciples in Matthew 28:19(NLT), “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” The Holy Spirit is a person. He’s not an ‘it’, He is a “he”, and a member of the Godhead. In the Old Testament, God promised to pour out His Spirit upon His people. He said in Joel 2:28(NLT), “Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions.” God fulfilled this prophecy spoken in Joel 2:28 through the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Our powerful Lord and Savior ushered in a new covenant, and through the new birth reality, we can receive the Holy Spirit. He will come to live inside our body temples.

He will bring the fullness of Christ when he makes his home in us. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “19 Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” Knowing this truth, it is only right that we must be led by the Spirit to bring our temples into oneness with another. If we are not humbling ourselves under his guidance, we will not be released in his power and will lack his direction and guidance to partner well.

Pray in the Spirit

Acts 2:1-4(NLT) says, “1 On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. 2 Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty

windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. 3 Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. 4 And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability.” Speaking in tongues is available to every believer, and it allows us to pray according to God’s Will. It’s an outward manifestation of what we have received from God inwardly. It is evidence that the Holy Spirit lives within us.

God tells us in Ephesians 6:18(NLT), “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” To pray in the Spirit is to pray in tongues. 1Corinthians 13:1 informs us that this manifestation of the Holy Spirit can be “tongues of men and of angels.” God has given us the awesome privilege to pray, and our prayers are an invitation to Him to intervene in the situations of our lives and those of others as well, but sometimes we don’t know the details. Praying in the Spirit by speaking in tongues is perfect prayer to our Heavenly Father. Romans 8:26(NLT) tells us, “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” We don’t understand the words the Spirit is speaking when we pray in tongues, but he is making intercession and praying perfectly through us.

1 Corinthians 14:22(NLT) informs us, “For if you have the ability to speak in tongues, you will be talking only to God, since people won't be able to understand you. You will be speaking by the power of the Spirit, but it will all be mysterious.” Every Christian desperately needs to pray in tongues, especially in the evil times in which we now live. It builds up our spirit-man, it helps to keep us in tune with the Holy Spirit, and it allows us to pray even when we have no idea what to pray for. You don’t know where and who your husband is. You don’t know what he’s doing, and you don’t know what aspect of his life is causing him discomfort or pain and needs to come under the blood of Jesus. You don’t know, but the Holy Spirit that lives within you knows. He knows everything.

e live in a world where it is almost rare to hear the testimony of a person that is very happy in their lives. Social media platforms and other outlets are overflowing with stories and real-time accounts of those that are full of rage and anger. Many are lonely, deeply disappointed, or devastated by tragedy. There should be far more accounts of people that are profoundly happy and content, but sadly, those seem to be few and far between. We should know that God doesn’t want us to be unhappy. He wants us to be filled with joy and overflowing with spiritual strength and power. We must believe this in the depths of our hearts and minds, but the problem is that most of us don’t. Unhappiness, insecurity, shame, fear, and all manner of darkness all have their root in the disobedience of Adam and Eve. The enemy convinced

them they could be happy without God’s Word, power, and love, and falling for this lie was more than a colossal mistake. It was an epic tragedy that continues to play out in the lives of many people, even to this day. They refused to accept the love of Jesus Christ into their hearts and will not believe in the victory of his sacrifice and resurrection.

2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) tells us, “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” Just as satan bamboozled Adam and Eve, he is doing the same with many people living today. They will not seek the Lord or believe in what He has accomplished for us through Jesus Christ.

But for those of us who do believe in the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ, a crown awaits us. James 1:12(NLT) says, “God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” And not only this, 1Corinthians 2:9(NLT) tells us, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” There’s great glory in store for those who believe and trust in God through the Lord Jesus Christ, but we don’t have to wait until our Savior returns to have a joyful existence. God wants us to have it as we live and breathe each day. He wants us to live by the power of the Holy Spirit and to be led by him in every aspect of life.

Living by the Spirit is a life of obedience to God. In 1Samuel 15:22(NLT), our Heavenly Father told His people through His prophet, Samuel, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice.” Obedience to God’s Word means that we follow the example of Jesus Christ and live by what God says. We have to trust in His sovereignty and that He always wants what is best for us. When it comes to building a quality existence, the Bible is our instruction manual and Jesus Christ is our blueprint. So, if we’re omitting obedience in our lives, we’re turning our backs on our destinies in Christ, and we’re going to miss the blessings that God has in store. He has woven His rewards within Christ, and Christ is in us. So, when we live like Christ, we live a rich and satisfying life that is filled with God’s sweet rewards.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 15:9-14 (NLT), “9 I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.” The sharp and defining truth is that our feelings about God’s Word, and our allegiance to it, will determine the quality of our existences and the bounty of our blessings. Our desires can be desperate and cause us to beg and plead. However, when our begging and pleading is not matched by a passion for the things of God, this is a problem, and many face it. There is no other way to express our loyalty to Him than to be obedient to His Word. Our loyalty to our Heavenly Father is the key that unlocks doors of opportunities. Our loyalty to Him continually positions us in the right place at the right time. It is the responsibility of every believer and follower of Christ to be obedient to what God commands. He has called us to be ambassadors for Christ, and we must prioritize our commission to spread the gospel. We must serve others with love, compassion, and generosity, and most importantly, we must grow in our relationship with our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. This is our duty, and to get our hearts and minds in the right place of faith and prayer, we must acknowledge and practice it.

Often, we don’t make the connection between our unhappiness and disobedience. We think to ourselves, “Oh, that’s just the way life is.” Well, life is what we make it. It can either be a walk of love and power, or a walk of fear and spiritual weakness. If we find that we’re not seeing the manifestation of God’s abundance in our lives, all is not lost. We must open our eyes to the reality that He is calling us to walk more closely with Him through Jesus Christ. 1John 5:3(NLT) tells us “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Keeping His commandments is life to us, and when we make this our greatest commitment, our faith will grow, and we will be spiritually prepared for the next level blessings we desire most

n Genesis 6:13-14(NLT), our Heavenly Father said to Noah, “13 I have decided to destroy all living creatures, for they have filled the earth with violence. Yes, I will wipe them all out along with the earth! 14 “Build a large boat from cypress wood and waterproof it with tar, inside and out. Then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior.” Human beings had become exceedingly wicked in all their ways, but not Noah. He obeyed God’s commands and was faithful to Him. Genesis 7:1(NLT) tells us, “When everything was ready, the LORD said to Noah, “Go into the boat with all your family, for among all the people of the earth, I can see that you alone are righteous.”

God provided the earth to human beings for a habitation. He is good and generous, and He never makes a mistake. 1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) affirms, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” He owns everything and He knows everything that is happening presently and that will happen in the future. God is all-powerful, and He can do anything, but He restrains Himself to the perfect laws of His Word and Will. As workers of His Word, we should know that in less time than the blink of an eye, God could have supernaturally caused an ark to appear, but He didn’t do that. Noah had to use quality

materials and tools according to God commands, and he had to work and perform all the labor necessary to build that ark. Many scholars believe that it took between 55 to 75 years to build, and because he carefully followed the guidance and leadership of our Heavenly Father, Noah didn’t miss a beat.

This kind of obedience, patience, and endurance is required to build anything of quality. We must remember this when it comes to all our desires. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NLT), “According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it.” As God’s children and followers of Christ, God has empowered us to build a life on the foundation of Jesus Christ, and this is what we must do. Most of us recognize this. We understand that we can’t sit back with our hands tucked beneath our laps and expect the blessings of God to fall into our hands. James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. Our faith in God must be backed with the right kinds of actions. Like Noah, we must heed God’s commands and build our lives using the empowerment, materials, and tools that He’s provided.

Our problem is that we haven’t used the empowerment, materials, and tools in a way that yields a solid foundation for all our desires, especially marriage. Isaiah 40:31(NKJV) says, “But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” The wait is the span of time between praying for a desire and having it manifest in our lives. This verse tells us that those who wait on God act differently than those that don’t. Those who wait on Him renew their strength. They mount up, run, and walk in faith. We accomplish this by seeking God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. We stay in His face by reading and studying His Word, and we are committed to praying often.

So, while we’ve been waiting on God, He’s been waiting on us to get moving by increasing our faith in Him. He has empowered us through His precious Holy Spirit and equipped us with everything we need to build a life that is pleasing to Him and fulfilling to us. Many have been praying to cross paths and build a relationship with the person God has ordained to walk with them through life. They’ve been waiting a while now, but patiently waiting on God means that we’ve taken dialogue with Him to a whole other level. We’re conversing with the Father continually. We’re asking the hard questions, and He’s answering them. He’s telling us about the things— the toxic habits, sinful indulgences, and wrong thoughts—

that we need to change. He’s also giving us strategies that help us accelerate the intimacy we share in our relationship with Him.

This is not something we can rush, but many of us are trying to do that. We want God to accelerate meeting our future husbands when we have not pressed the pedal to accelerate building our relationship with Him. That’s not how it works. Patience is required and within that patience, we must shift our priorities so that we are demonstrating our devotion and faith to God. It’s a process and we must continually grow in it.

Being patient with God is pursuing God; not just so we can get what we want, but so that we honor Him and express our gratitude and faith with increased passion and meaningfulness. More spiritual growth is almost always the answer for delays in our prayers. We should not desire the blessing more than we desire a closer walk with the Father through Jesus Christ. Our loyalty is going to be tested, and when it is, our patience with God and our faith in Him will ensure that we pass. We, ourselves, must set the atmosphere for the manifestation of our blessings, and God has provided everything we need to do this. Our tools are crafted from the wisdom of His Word, and our materials are everything we’ve received through Jesus Christ. Now, it’s time to focus all our energy on the Father, as He patiently walks with us and helps bring our desires into fruition.

ccepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior is not a small matter. People have lists of things that are important to them, but the most important decision that any human being can make is to accept Christ and receive the salvation he offers. The Book of Revelation hits this home in a very real way. Jesus Christ told the disciples in John 16:33(NLT), "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Being a Christian—a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ—is not an easy life. It's a rewarding life, a life that is

dedicated to God, and we must be clear that the discipline of endurance is a must in order to live this sanctified life.

Whether it’s our quest for marriage, our desires for greater health and finances, or most importantly, our desire to go higher in Christ, we have an enemy that is fighting against us on those things. One of the biggest mistakes that we make as Christians is to underestimate the enemy’s power and the degree to which he will fight us. We should never do this. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:33 that we’re going to endure trials and sorrows in the earth, and all those trials and sorrows have their root in satan’s tricks, traps, and plots.

Our Lord and Savior makes it crystal clear that we’re not to fear satan. 1John 4:4(KJV) declares that “greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” The Holy Spirit lives within every bornagain believer, and his power has no equal, so we should never live in fear, but we would be wise to have a healthy understanding regarding the depth of satan’s evil and wickedness. We should understand that he has the power to carry out the evil and wickedness of his plans. The only reason that he is not permitted to snuff out our lights is because we are covered by the blood of Jesus. We are kept by God’s amazing grace and our allegiance to live through it.

God warns us in 1Peter 5:8-9(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.” Any challenge that we may be enduring right now is not unique to our individual lives. Saints are suffering all over the globe, but we are not defeated. The strategy that God has given us to overcome is to keep the faith and be strong in it.

There are areas in our lives where we have not done this. We have not kept the faith and remained strong in it, and these are the openings the enemy looks for. Take for instance, a single woman’s desire to move her status from ‘single’ to ‘happily married’. If we think that having the desire alone is enough to cause it to manifest, we are mistaken, because the enemy will look for holes in that desire. Loneliness is lack, it is one of the weapons

the enemy uses to come against our desire for marriage. We must know that the enemy doesn’t have card blanche to do anything he wants to do to our lives. If that were the case, he would have snuffed us out long ago. Sin belongs to him. It’s his territory and he is allowed to go where sin hangs out. Let’s say that we have robbed God of tithes and offerings, or we’ve repeatedly sinned against our own bodies. If we’ve done these things without repentance, we have to know that the enemy will bring a case against us in the Courts of Heaven. God is a Righteous Judge, and if we’re carrying something—sin—that belongs to the enemy, then the enemy has a legal right to come where sin abides. When he comes, he tries to bring disruption, destruction, disappointment, or death. Hardships will come, but we are not without spiritual armor. However, in order to use it, we have to put it on. We must get into God’s Word in a greater way and seek to develop the patience and endurance that our Heavenly Father requires. Romans 5:34(AMP) tells us, “3 And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; 4 and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation].” We can never give up on our dreams and desires for more abundance in our lives. We must patiently endure with the full faith that God will forgive and help us. If we keep our eyes focused on our Heavenly Father and ‘faint not’, we will pass the test of endurance and reap the rewards of our allegiance and obedience to Him

t had been over a month since Imani sprung her news to Deanna and Pam that she had been seeing someone new, and he was everything she wanted in a man. Imani was happier than they’d ever seen her, and although Deanna was over the moon for her friend, she was also puzzled and couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Imani had always said that marriage

was further down the road for her. She said she was still enjoying singlehood too much and didn’t want to be tied down. Her new man had caused Imani to change her mind about that. As the months passed, she was spending less time with Deanna and Pam, and happily spending more time with the new man in her life. Deanna, on the other hand, was becoming more unhappy and lonely.

Deanna’s last serious relationship was three years ago, and she had been praying to find the right man and get married ever since. She was tired of being lonely, and when her sadness increased, she tried to hide it from her friends. Frustrated, she repeatedly asked the Lord why finding the right man was so hard. Why did she have to continue waiting year after year, without the comfort of being with someone that would love her as much as she would him? She wanted to get out of the dating pool and into marriage as quickly as possible, but things seemed to be out of her control. She had tried many things but nothing brought about the change she wanted.

On a day when she hadn’t slept a wink and had cried most of the night before, Ms. Mattie saw right through the happy face Deanna was trying to put on. It was their mid-morning break, and although Deanna hadn’t braced for it, she was in desperate need of one of Ms. Maddie’s encouraging scriptures. What she got was a Word that she thanked Ms. Mattie to receive, but Deanna didn’t see it as quite the encouragement she needed. It wouldn’t move her loneliness out of the way, and it wouldn’t take away the weight of helplessness she had felt the last few months; at least this is what she thought.

God is perfect beyond perfection, and He never makes a mistake. He knows the plans He has for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11), and He knows every inch of our potential. Ephesians 1:3 tells us that He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings because of our union with Christ. He’s empowered us through the Holy Spirit to live in Christ to our fullest potential, and this is what He expects. We are not perfect women and men, this is true, but we are being perfected in Christ with each passing day. Even with our imperfections, our strengths should be getting stronger and our weaknesses should be shrinking. Just as we expect a future husband to be a phenomenal source of support and care, he has the right to expect the same from us. It’s entirely possible that when we have spiritually prepared in the way that God desires, our strengths will support our future husband’s continued growth in Christ, and he will do the same for us.

You might be so close to having the desire you want most. You’re close to having the kind of faith and spiritual maturity that will be the gift to the man you’re going to marry that God intends it to be. However, if you’ve not met him yet, you’re not quite there, and it’s okay to acknowledge this. In

fact, you must acknowledge it to move forward in a way that causes you to make the changes God wants you to make. Heavenly Father will not overstep your free-will agency to get you where you need to be. You must pray and ask for His help, and you must do so with humility and have the conviction to do what He tells you to do.

Wherever we are spiritually in our walk in Christ, we can guarantee that we can and should go further. The Word that Ms. Mattie had spoken to Deanna that day in the break room was based on Galatians 5:22-23(NLT), “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and selfcontrol. Against such things there is no law.” Not only must we desire to produce the Spirit’s fruit, but we must be praying that we will live in such a way that we’ll help our husband to produce these fruit as well. When our hearts and minds change to this degree, we will see a change manifested in our circumstances in a powerful way.

It took Deanna a while to get this. It was months before she picked up the Bible to actually study this passage in Galatians 5:22-23. Eventually, she caught the revelation of what the Father revealed. The fruit of the Spirit must be lived out in our everyday lives. They must be practiced to the point that our actions are motivated out of God's love and not out of personal gain. We must walk closely with the Spirit in our desire to be prepared for marriage. Then, when we receive a hint like "learn how to cook", we won't be easily offended or think it's a joke. We'll get ready to sharpen our skills and be thankful for the reality that one day we'll be able to make a delicious meal for two. ■

Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

was watching a movie the other day and the first scene was two young boys playing on the playground. They saw a pretty girl playing alone and ran up to her and asked if she wanted to play with them. Later, while riding their bikes home, the boys were going back and forth about who was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. One of them said “I saw her first – so, I’m going to ask her, not you!” This scene reminded me that men begin to shape their perceptions about females very early on. How different things would be if they were taught to increase their honor and respect for women as they matured into manhood. For a good many of them, that just isn’t the case.

Society has had a huge influence on the perspective of many men regarding marriage, and also on their appreciation of the blessedness of having a wife. Many of God’s truths and standards have been ignored because of this. A man might come up with a dozen excuses why he wants to continue playing the field, and the truth is that many women make this very easy for him. So, in these modern times, it’s not uncommon to hear a man say that he just doesn’t see the benefit of marriage, and he doesn’t value the importance of having the support of a loving wife. As single women, we have to face the reality that for some of them, it’s just not in their hearts. Some men view marriage as one big headache after the other and say they would rather not have someone complaining and placing demands on them. When a man thinks this way, trying to change his opinion about marriage can be a huge challenge, and we have to ask ourselves if it’s worth it.

The truth is that women who love God and are faithful to Him should not have to contend with trying to change a man’s mind about marriage. Your prayer should be to meet someone that from the very beginning believes in what you can have in and with one another. God will answer this prayer, but He expects you to honor the standard in His Word.

“A

Man Knows What He Wants” Conclusion

Ephesians 5:24-25(NLT) says, “24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” The love that Jesus Christ has in his heart for us is the standard that our Heavenly Father holds for a husband. This man must love his wife to such a degree that he views any sacrifice he makes for her benefit as a privilege. God’s standard is that we, as women, submit to a man who will love us this way, and this is not a burden, but a blessing that yields increased honor, intimacy, and unity in a marriage.

2Corinthians 5:21(NLT) says, “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” Two exceedingly precious treasures that Jesus Christ owned when he walked the face of this earth is his relationship with God and his life. When he took on our sins, he sacrificed both to save us from the depths of darkness and hell. Romans 5:5(NLT) declares, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” The Holy Spirit comes to live inside us and brings this love with him. It’s what our Heavenly Father wanted for us and we desperately needed it. Because of what God has done through Jesus Christ, we can become born again and our hearts can know and give true and real love, and we can expect to receive this love in return.

The requirements that God has set forth in His Word are everything! And if you don’t love the standard, you can’t have it. Learn to love God’s Will for marriage. Don’t let society frame your desires, and don’t bow to societal pressures or standards. If you want a Godly union that will last, your standard of how you want to be loved should match God’s Word. When it does, you don’t have to worry about whether your future husband will know how to love you, or whether he will want to. When God brings the two of you together, that man will have already made up his mind. He will know what he wants, and he will recognize it in you.■

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Thank you for helping us strive for excellence for the Kingdom of God.

uring Old Testament times, our Heavenly Father made a promise to His people to give them a lush and bountiful land, so much so that it was referred to as the land of ‘milk and honey’. In Joshua 1:9(The Message), He told them, “From the wilderness and this Lebanon east to the Great River, the Euphrates River—all the Hittite country—and then west to the Great Sea. It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make

sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”

God is as faithful to us as He was to His people living during Old Testament times. Hebrews 10:23(NLT) says, “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Our Heavenly Father always keeps His promises but even after we’ve been on this Christian journey for numerous years, many of us still struggle to believe this.

A friend of mine has been a Christian for almost as long as I have. She’s been struggling in a relationship with a man that is verbally abusive and often calls her horrible names. When I tell her that she is stronger than she thinks and encourage her that God will back her every step to live free of abuse, she immediately dismisses my encouragement. Her response is always, “What works for you, won’t work for me! If I have to suffer then that’s what God wants me to do.”

Many believers have this attitude, that God wants them to suffer. Jesus Christ said in John 10:10 (NKJV), “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” In this verse, our powerful Lord and Savior tells us why the devil is in the earth, and it is to steal, kill, and destroy. This is what the enemy does, but Jesus Christ came to give us victory. He came to make a more than abundant life available to all that will believe and accept it.

In John 3:16-17(NLT), Jesus also tells us, “16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” God loves us so much that He sent His precious Son to save us. He doesn’t want us to suffer, He wants us to live a blessed existence with good health, great relationships, fulfilling work, spiritual power, and most importantly, fellowship with Him.

This is the life God made available through Christ, but we have an enemy, the devil, and God warns us about this in 1Peter 5:8. In the verse, God tells us to stay alert about the devil’s schemes, tricks, and plots against us because he roams the earth, on the hunt for an opening into a person’s life. If he finds one, he will attempt to attack us in the most deceitful and merciless way. The way that we outsmart the devil is to open our eyes by learning and knowing God’s truth.

We can be tricked into believing the wrong things about God and what He will do for us, but we must refuse to continue to allow the enemy to blind us. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to suffer. He wants us lean on Him with every step we take, because He will be with us! He is our Source of strength and all good things. God doesn’t want us to be shy or discouraged about pursuing the blessed life He’s given us, and we must be resolved that no relationship with another human being is worth the cost of our peace. Our Heavenly Father wants us to learn the truth about Him and His love through His Word so that we can live confidently in the victory He has won for us through Christ! ■

Kim Times, Writer and Editor

any of us spend quite a bit of time aspiring to go higher in things like our careers, relationship status, or finances. We put a lot of effort into those things, but for some reason, many of us don’t put nearly as much effort into going higher in Christ. Money is a driving force in most societies, and throughout history, many people have been chiefly motivated by the thought of getting more of it. As Christians, the example of Christ sets us on a different trajectory. He tells us in Matthew 6:24 (NLT), “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to have lack or poverty in our lives. He wants us to be abundantly blessed and tells us in John 10:10 that He sent His Son to the earth so that we could have a more than abundant life. However, we must be clear that a more than abundant reality is not based on money and living lavishly. It’s based on living through the faith and love of Jesus Christ by following the example he has left us to follow. 1Peter 2:21(AMP) tells us, “For [as a believer] you have been called for this purpose, since Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you may follow in His footsteps.” As a person that believes in the Lord Jesus, we have a responsibility to him. We’re to walk in his love, serve others, and love God with all that we are. So, a blessed existence that pleases God is not about going higher in any other thing than our commitment to Him through Christ.

Hebrews 13:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 So let

us go out to him, outside the camp, and bear the disgrace he bore. 14 For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. 15 Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.” We must be loyal to God and understand that He alone is worthy of praise. He’s worthy of our total commitment, because He’s magnificent in every way. He’s holy, righteous, and full of mercy and grace, and He will never fail or disappoint us. If the example of Jesus Christ is not our focus, and we are more interested in what we can get than what we can give, we will become less and less like our Lord and Savior. We might look the part of success, but our inward self will slowly implode. Hebrews 13:13 lets us know that living in Christ is where all the action is. His life is the blueprint for everything God desires us to be. Committing ourselves to go higher in Christ isn’t a burden. It’s the greatest achievement of life. James 2:14 (NLT) says “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?” It’s an amazing feeling to increase our faith in God and see things move and manifest because of it. Our Heavenly Father honors His Word, and the more we grow in it the more we’ll line up with His plan and purpose for our lives. He has set things up in such a way that going higher spiritually in Christ will keep us on the path of our destinies. So, let’s be committed to go higher in Christ and prioritize our relationship with God in the number one spot. If we do and seek His way of doing and being right, He promises to richly bless our lives.■

ou are holy, holy, holy, and there is none like You. Thank You for blessing me all the days of my life on this earth. I’m in awe of Your magnificence. You are brilliant beyond brilliance, and perfect beyond perfection. You are Yahweh, the Great I Am, the One who brings into existence whatever exists. Glory to You in the highest! You are such a loving Father. You are a shield around me and the Lifter of my head. During my sleep at night and my rising in the morning, You sustain me. You keep my feet from falling, and You have set me apart for Your purpose. Thank You for making me righteous through Your Son, Jesus Christ, and for giving me the extraordinary gift of Your salvation.

I humbly ask You to please forgive me for my sins. I have said, thought, felt, and done things that were against Your Word and Will, and I greatly apologize. Thank You for forgiving my wrongdoing and casting my sins as far as the east is from the west. Dear Heavenly Father, I also forgive those that have done me wrong as well. My heart has been broken, and I have been hurt by those who didn’t love me as Jesus Christ does. I forgive them, but You are the only One who truly knows everything about me. If within my heart, there is still anger, bitterness, or resentment, please help me, Dear Father, to release it, so that I can be pleasing to You. You have commanded us in Your Word to pray for others everywhere. Please bless the children all over the world. For those that have left their homes for whatever reason, please take care of them, Dear Father, and let some compassionate person cross their paths and provide the care and support they need. Please provide for those that are without adequate food, water, and shelter. Thank You for blessing all those who desperately need Your help, guidance, and healing

power, and for blessing missionaries all over the world that are teaching and sharing the Good News about Jesus Christ.

I’m very thankful for all the many blessings that You have given me. You said in Your Word that You wait for us to come to You so that You can show us Your love and compassion, for You are faithful. You are a blessing to those who wait for Your help. Father, I have been praying and waiting to partner with the person that You have ordained to walk with me through life in holy matrimony. I have spent many holidays without a significant person in my life, and I am humbly asking You to please change this for me.

Heavenly Father, I desire one of Your treasures. I am committed to be guided by You through Your precious Holy Spirit as You help me spiritually prepare to steward the reward of marriage. Please position me to meet my spouse and help me to know that this person is indeed sent from You. I will be committed to encourage and uplift my spouse through Your Word, and I will do all that I can to help our marriage thrive in Godliness, always placing Jesus Christ as the head of our union. I will be ever so careful not to put my spouse or anyone else above my commitment and devotion to You, Dear Father. According to the standard of Your Word, I will pour into the life of my spouse with the love of Christ, showering our union with his compassion, patience, generosity, faith, and righteousness.

Thank You for opening my eyes and ears so that I can see and hear the information that will position me to be in the right place at the right time. Thank You that even now, You are working this out for my good and for the good of the one that I will marry and treasure. I humbly claim this blessing, and I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over the marital union that I will soon share with the one You send. I pray this in the powerful and precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen. ■

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