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Be Excellent to Each Other...
Daggone It! By Dr. John F. Miller DDS
“ I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” During my younger days, the weekly television program Saturday Night Live (SNL) was a favorite “guilty pleasure” of the Miller’s. The content was always a little racy, controversial even. I felt so grownup sitting there with the rest of my family. I mean seriously, it was almost midnight. Being the second youngest of five children most of the humor was beyond my level of comprehension. No big deal, I just laughed when everyone else laughed. I faked it. Our conversations to this day are laced with SNL quotes and references, and as I approach my 35th birthday I’m faking it less and less. One skit that was introduced in the early 90’s was Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley. The focus of the skit is Stuart who works with celebrities in the capacity of their “nonprofessional” therapist/ life coach. For example, he ironically consults with Michael Jordan telling him he “doesn’t have to be a great basketball player, doesn’t have to dribble the ball fast, doesn’t have to throw the ball into the basket.” He only has to be “the best Michael he can be.”
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He closes every session having his guest look into a mirror to repeat the following: “I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” Now, I’m a Dentist. Sometime ago I wrote in the pages of 406 Woman that having a dental procedure performed should reside quite low on your list of enjoyable activities. I went as far as calling anyone who enjoys dental work a “dental weirdo.” I’ve accepted this public opinion of my line of work and quite frankly can’t apply Stuart’s final affirmation to myself. Oh I’m Good Enough, and I’m Smart Enough, but Doggone It, People Don’t Like Me. Dentistry is uncomfortable. At any given moment there are three or more different tools, vacuums, fingers, etc. in your mouth. There are unpleasant sounds, smells, and vibrations. Then there is the Sh*t (the S-Word is considered a curse word in my dental office and not suitable for children) and the numb lip and tongue that follow. Dentistry is inconvenient and can be expensive. Avoid those folks that profess their love of dentistry, they indeed, are not normal. This is not a rant, and I couldn’t be more happy and satisfied with my chosen profession. Do I have patients that love my staff and me? Do I have patients that love their overall experience in my office? Yes, of course. My line of work is a necessary evil and we are converting people into dental weirdos by making everything else, other than us seeing how big their mouth is, exceptional. While the experience isn’t
necessarily enjoyable, we take measures to make it less uncomfortable and more convenient. Let’s discuss one example, a distraction technique we refer to as “plugging a patient into the Matrix.”
The Matrix is 3fold: 1. The Patient is fitted with an intraoral suction and isolation device called an IsoLite. This device allows the patient to relax with their mouths propped open, their cheeks and tongues safely retracted, with no concern of water in their throats. Google it. 2. The Patient is fitted with clean over-the-ear noise reducing headphones. 3. The Patient is given their choice of in-house DVD selections to watch on a movable flat screen display. On Thursdays we institute “Throwback Law” with our teenage patients and highly recommend titles from the 80’s or earlier. Selections such as The Princess Bride, Top Gun, Rad, Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story (seasonal), Star Wars, The Goonies, etc. During a recent visit with a new teenage patient to our office I inquired as to what class she was getting out of by coming to the dentist. This patient is 17 years old and a junior in high school. She responded that she was “getting out of ” history class. She con-