Razor Creek: a folk rock, sci-fi musical (excerpt) by K.T. Peterson

RAZOR CREEK

:

a folk-rock, sci-fi musical Book and lyrics

by K.T. Peterson Music

by Paige L. Scott & K.T. Peterson

CONTACT: K.T. Peterson 6206 Breamore Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46220 kt@ktpeterson.com 317-345-9968

1 CAST SIZE: 10 CHARACTERS: KET KETTERIDGE WILLA CONNORS BOOK LADY JACOB / CANARY MAEBELLE KETTERIDGE PREACHER ENSEMBLE 1 ENSEMBLE 2 ENSEMBLE 3 ENSEMBLE 4

F, The most popular woman in Razor Creek, the "hot one" F, Ket’s nemesis and goody two-shoes, religious, smart F, a horseback riding librarian, out-of-towner M, a rock god, a miner / a dim bulb, a miner F, Ket’s mother, bedridden, with a heart of gold M, a good dude, secretly in love with MAEBELLE F/GNC - GIRL, ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, and others F/GNC - BOY, and others M - JOHN, JO JO, Boss Man Soloist, and others M - RED PROPHET, BIG BOOTY, and others

extra ensemble if desired Synopsis: Razor Creek lives in fear of an age-old curse; freak accidents occur again and again until a single woman in town, Ket, is blamed for the incidents and fed-up residents want blood.

SETTING: 1936 – RAZOR CREEK, EASTERN KENTUCKY

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

2

“Arise! Awake!

Approach the great and learn.

Like the sharp edge of a razor is that path, so the wise say— hard to tread and difficult to cross.”

-

Katha Upanishad 1.3.14

“You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.”

-

Frank McCourt

“A woman is like a tea bag: you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”

-

Eleanor Roosevelt

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

3 SONG LIST Act I: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

Curse of the Red Prophet Land of Tomorrow Wither Away Joybells Parts I & II Cry Out Ladies First The Miles The Shopping Song Elaborate Threesome Drum Solo of Passion Queen of Razor Creek Joybells reprise/Act I Finale

Kids Full Cast Willa Maebelle & Ket Preacher, Ket, Willa, Ensemble Book Lady, Willa, Ensemble Ket Kids Ket, JoJo, CANARY Ket & Ensemble Ket & Cast

Boss Man Gulliver Cut Her Loose I Ride The Standoff Exorcism Can You Imagine Finale

Cananry, Miners, Preacher Kids, Willa, Book Lady Canary & Ensemble Ket and Willa Ket and Ensemble Preacher and Ensemble Maebelle Full Cast

Act II: 12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

4 A dope-ass folk-rock concert set up. If set pieces are desired, they’re created from available equipment/chairs/backstage items as much as possible.

PROLOGUE *** The Curse Play-in *** Two KIDS wait impatiently in a creepy forest.

BOY …maybe she got lost?

GIRL …nah…

THEY wait.

BOY Wanna hear a joke? My mama used to make whiskey. She died, but I miss her still.

Beat.

GIRL I don’t get it.

BOY I don’t either.

THEY wait.

GIRL She’ll be here. It’s safe here. Don’t worry.

Fog and smoke and weird noises arise.

Something’s coming.

BOY Yeah…who’s worried…oh crap oh crap oh crap—did it follow us?

GIRL That’s impossible! Isn’t it?

BOY I don’t know, I’m a kid!

THEY stand strong.

GIRL If we live, promise we’ll figure out a way to end all this, once and for all?

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

5 BOY I thought no one knew how?

GIRL I don’t know, I’m a kid too! Promise?

BOY Promise!

THEY shake then spit on their hands and wipe the bottom of their shoes, brace themselves. Noises climax. *** BOOK LADY power chords *** (Majestic as fuck) ENTER BOOK LADY, riding a hobbyhorse. Fog. Rhinestones: the equivalent of a cowboy librarian.

BOOK LADY Did someone call a librarian? *** BOOK LADY power chords/solo guitar *** She dismounts.

PROJECTIONS (one at a time): Occupation: Horseback Librarian Delivery Assignment: Eastern Kentucky Boss: Eleanor Roosevelt Likes: Kicking ass Dislikes: Ranch Dressing SHE hands over books, maybe does the splits.

KIDS Thank God! GIRL We thought the curse had got you and you were dead BOOK LADY …sorry?

BOY (avoiding) Read to us.

KIDS READ! READ! READ—YEAH! K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

6 BOOK LADY relents. KIDS cheer and sit.

She grabs a book.

BOOK LADY The Story of Kentucky: Land of Tomorrow. Land of—I’m sorry, did you say curse—?

GIRL It’s an expression.

BOOK LADY Look, I’m happy to meet you out here in the forest instead of town— GIRL Totally— BOY —thank you for that— BOOK LADY But it does add days to my route— KIDS —and we so appreciate that / super nice of you / totes BOOK LADY My horse is exhausted? I need to explain the extra days to my supervisor? So next time, meet me right smack dab in Razor Creek— KIDS NOOOOOOOO! GIRL (this is a lot) Razor Creek is cursed we’re cursed nobody makes it out alive!

GIRL & BOY People get dead in these banana shorts ways / accidents, weird accidents, I’m telling you GIRL We thought at least the forest would be safe and learn to read and not get mangled to death or — BOOK LADY Why don’t you start from the beginning?

1 – CURSE OF THE RED PROPHET The KIDS clap and sing.

KIDS BACK IN THE DAY (DAY DAY) K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

7 A PROPHET CAME (CAME CAME) FROM FAR AWAY (WAY WAY) IS WHAT THEY SAY (SAY SAY) ENSEMBLE ENTERS on a hobbyhorse as THE RED PROPHET. HE CLIMBED UP HIGH (HIGH HIGH) DO OR DIE (DIE DIE) TO CURSE THIS TOWN (TOWN TOWN) WITH HIS RED EYES (EYES EYES) THAT HOLY MAN HE GROUND HIS TEETH WHEN HE LOOKED DOWN ON RAZOR CREEK THAT WICKED SOUL FROM THE DARKEST PIT SAID HE HOPED WE DIE FOR LIVIN’ LIKE THIS WHAT FOR ALL THE CURSIN’ CHEATIN’ LYIN’ BEATIN’ FIGHTIN’ CRYIN’ KILLIN’ LEAVIN’ CURSIN’ CHEATIN’ LYIN’ BEATIN’ FIGHTIN’ CRYIN’ KILLIN’ BLEEDIN’ HE WAS ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES JUST CRYING (CRYIN) SCREAMIN (SCREAMIN) JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT (THOUGHT THOUGHT) HE’D CRIED IT OUT (OUT, OUT) HE SETTLED DOWN (DOWN DOWN) UPON THE GROUND (GROUND GROUND) HE LOOKED AROUND (ROUND ROUND) AROUND AROUND (ROUND ROUND) WITH HIS RED EYES (EYES EYES) TO MY SURPRISE THAT PREACHER MAN REMOVED HIS SHOES ONE BY ONE SLOW AND SMOOTH HE BURIED THEM DEEP (DEEP DEEP) SOMEWHERE ROUND HERE WHERE THEY STILL SLEEP (SLEEP SLEEP) FOR YEARS AND YEARS UNTIL THEY’RE FOUND (FOUND FOUND) DEEP IN THE GROUND (GROUND) K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

8 WE’LL ALWAYS FAIL (WEAK WEAK) THE CURSE IS BLEAK (BLEAK BLEAK) BACK IN THE DAY (DAY DAY) A PROPHET CAME (CAME CAME) FROM FAR AWAY (WAY WAY) IS WHAT THEY SAY (SAY SAY) I WISH (WISH WISH) HE’D GO AWAY (WAY WAY) A crow flies by. It’s a puppet made out of a black trash bag. Probably. It pecks out BOOK LADY’s horse’s eyes and it dies.

BOOK LADY Oh my god…oh my god!

GIRL Typical.

BOOK LADY I need my horse!

BOY Guess it can follow us. It’s pesky. Curses are pesky. How do you spell pesky?

SOUND O.S.: HOLLER. KIDS holler in return.

KIDS Gotta go.

BOOK LADY What?!

GIRL Stay here!

BOY Don’t follow us!

BOOK LADY Without a horse?

GIRL We’ll figure it out, we’re sorry— BOY We’ll send supplies—

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

9 KIDS BYEEEEEEEEEEE. KIDS EXIT. BOOK LADY takes out a flask, takes a nip.

Fog. Creepy noises.

Shit.

2 - LAND OF TOMORROW The town of RAZOR CREEK. MINERS emerge from the mist.

MINERS WELCOME TO THE LAND (TO THE LAND) OF TOMORROW (TOMORROW) WE AIN’T GOT BEACH OR SAND JUST HILLS HOLLERS AND JET BLACK TANS WE’RE UP WITH THE SUN HERE TO GET THE JOB DONE LOOKIN’ COOL AND WE GOT BIG TOOLS GET UP WITH THE SUN TO GET THE JOB DONE HAVE A SON AND HE’LL JOIN YOU BY GUM WE’RE BORN, WE BREATHE, WE BOOZE, WE LOSE THEY TOLD US DON’T YOU BE A FOOL THE MINE’S YOUR ONLY GOAL COAL’S THE ONLY HOLY ROLLER FOR YOUR SOUL WOMEN WELCOME TO THE LAND (TO THE LAND) OF TOMORROW (TOMORROW) WE’D PAY TO LIVE THIS GRAND SEE THIS DRESS I SEWED IT BY HAND WE’RE UP WITH THE SUN JUST TO GET THE JOB DONE ARE YA LOSIN’ IT THIS IS NO TIME TO QUIT GET UP WITH THE SUN HAVE TO GET IT ALL DONE GOT IT ALL STARIN’ AT WALLS K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

10 WE’RE BORN, WE BREATHE, WE BOOZE, WE CHOOSE A MAN—AND WHO CARES IF HE’S GOOD RAZOR CREEK HAS JUST ONE GOAL MAKE SURE EVERY FILLY’S GOT A FOAL MINERS & WOMEN AND WE CAN NEVER LEAVE AND WE CAN NEVER LEAVE WHY WOULD WE WANT TO FLEE (RUNNING AND SCREAMING) WHEN THERE IS SO (SO, SO) MUCH TO SEE ENTER BOOK LADY with binoculars, hidden. SHE watches the action with interest. ENSEMBLE becomes KET’s brother JOHN, a miner. He emcees up.

JOHN How’s everybody doin’ tonight?! Now introducing the miner with mostest, who boast-est being the host-est of babes who are the choicest. The one, the only, JACOB! ENTER JACOB. A Rock God. Hips alive.

JACOB What’s up Razor Creek?!?

MINERS (they chant and cheer) Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Jacob!

JACOB THE MINE BLEW WHEN I WAS TWO MINERS MN HMN (MMN HMN) IT TOOK MY DAD TOO JACOB UP TO SMITHEROO AND I KNEW JUST WHAT I HAD TO DO LIVE FAST MINERS LIVE FAST JACOB AND QUICK MINERS AND QUICK JACOB TIL I TOOK UP THE PICK K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

11 LIVE FAST MINERS LIVE FAST JACOB AND HIGH MINERS AND HIGH JACOB TIL IT’S MY TIME TO DIE GRAB THOSE PONIES BY THE TAIL MAKE LOVE TIL YOU DIE OR LAND IN JAIL MINERS Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Jacob!

JOHN And now for some testimonials from the locals. Put your hands together—!

KET and JOHN high five.

KET Oh yeah.

JOHN For my little sister— ENSEMBLE We love you Ket! KET I love you too!

JOHN Ket who is not only my sister but also Jacob’s girlfriend. Give it up for Ket Ketteridge!

KET JACOB’S A GOOD DUDE AND HE’S A GREAT LAY HE’S EVEN TENDER TO ME SOME DAYS YAY JOHN Uh-oh. Get ready for a plot twist. Everybody make some noise for Willa—the Thrilla—Connors!

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

12 KET’s nemesis, WILLA, emerges. Flowers, sunshine: a goody-two-shoes.

WILLA I DON’T HAVE MANY MEN WHO COME ALONG TO TAKE MY HAND BUT NOW ANY DAY A PROPOSAL’S COMIN’ MY WAY JACOB SAYS THAT I’M HIS LITTLE SUGAR BIT KET JACOB SAYS THAT I’M HIS LITTLE SUGAR BIT KET & WILLA I’M HIS ITTLE-WITTLE, SWEETIE, HONEY, SUGAR BIT KET, & WILLA AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS MATCH IS MEANT TO BE WITHOUT HIM THERE’S NOT MUCH TO SEE

JACOB UNTIL I HAVE TO LEAVE UNTIL I HAVE TO LEAVE IT’S THE BEST OF ME WITHOUT THEM THERE’S NOT MUCH TO SEE

JOHN And now, confined to her cabin, a widowed invalid with the heart of gold—and let’s be honest, a bedpan to die for—Ket’s mama and mine, Maebelle—the slaybell—Ketteridge!

MAEBELLE KETTERIDGE, KET’s mother, and an invalid, is in a bed on wheels. She is lovely, smiling.

Her bedpan is bedazzled. The GUITARIST shreds for her.

MAEBELLE YOU MAY HAVE THE JOYBELLS RINGING IN YOUR HEART AND THE PEACE THAT FROM YOU NEVER NEVER, NEVER NEVER WILL DEPART GUITARIST YEAAAAAAH MAEBELLE WALK THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW WAY LIVE FOR JESUS EVERY DAY ENTER PREACHER. A good dude.

PREACHER (really trying, can’t get the melody) AND YOU MAY HAVE THE JOYBELLS YOU MAY HAVE THE JOYBELLS

K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt

13 JOHN Say hi, Preacher.

PREACHER Hi. (lower in pitch) I mean…hey.

JOHN Preacher’s a good dude. Totally likes her. Don’t say anything. It’d be weird. But he still thinks about it!

BOOK LADY is taking lots of notes as she secretly observes, claps, jams.

PREACHER AND IF I COULD I EVER LEAVE JOHN Maybe she does too!

MAEBELLE AS IF I COULD I EVER LEAVE KET, WILLA, PREACHER & MAEBELLE THIS MATCH (WOULD BE THE) IS THE BEST OF ME BUT WE CAN NEVER BE (AND WE CAN NEVER LEAVE) X2 WHY WOULD WE WANT TO FLEE (RUNNING AND SCREAMING) WHEN STUCK BETWEEN THESE HILLS THERE’S SO MUCH TO SEE JACOB YOU. The world stops as Jacob points. KET and WILLA in tight spotlight.

KET & WILLA Me? JACOB You. KET & WILLA I’m confused / sorry / I’m sorry / are you talking to / about me?

JACOB The hot one.

HE is referring to KET, but both step forward: waving. The crowd goes wild. [END EXCERPT] K.T. Peterson RAZOR CREEK 10-page excerpt