1980 (Or Why I'm Voting for John Anderson) excerpt by Patricia Cotter

1980 (Or Why I'm Voting For John Anderson) by Patricia Cotter

March 2020 Gurman Agency 212.749.4618 Susan@gurmanagency.com

Cast List Kathleen Haag - White, female. Nineteen, from Quincy, Mass. A student at Northeastern University. Working class, the first one in her family to go to college. Awkward, intensely shy and prone to anxiety, but with an inner will that pushes her into challenging situations. Secretly ambitious. Potentially gay.

Starts out as a wallflower, has the potential to transform into someone to be reckoned with or not.

Brenda Quealy - White, female. Thirties. From South Boston, working class, ambitious in her own way. Going through a messy break up. Struggling financially and emotionally, but working hard to stay hopeful. She has a innate sense of people and is an excellent judge of character. Sexy and sharp. Has some impulse control issues.

Robin Ridge - White, female. Early twenties. Comes from wealth and privilege, but is basically an orphan with parents. Incredibly ambitious, sees no obstacles getting in the way of what she wants (why should she?) Emotionally unstable, but you wouldn't know it right away. Dazzling. A force of nature.

Will Moore- Black, male. Late twenties, early thirties. Bright, focused, realistic about John Anderson's chances, but a believer.

He has a healthy ego. From Chicago - he has never quite experienced Boston's particular brand of racism. He grew up in an upper middle class educated family, an only child.

SETTING A small, beat up John Anderson For President campaign office in Boston, Massachusetts.

TIME The fall of 1980. September to November.

ACT ONE SCENE ONE Mid-August. KATHLEEN sits in a thrown together campaign office, a large room with random, donated furniture, three phones and not much else. There is a private office attached, but that door is closed. Plenty of “John Anderson for President” posters and yard signs. In retrospect, too many. BRENDA has been training Kathleen for the past hour, it’s all led up to this first phone call. Kathleen stares at the phone. She does not want to make a phone call.

Make sense?

BRENDA Kathleen nods her head in what could be taken as a yes or a no.

BRENDA Great. Or close enough so...

Brenda hands Kathleen the Haines Directory, it contains voter information.

BRENDA ...these are the phone numbers of all of the registered voters in the Boston area with a zip between 02134 and 02458.

Let’s start here with...this guy (finds a name) Allen Aberstein. Sounds like a Jew, lives in Newton, probably wicked liberal. That’s good, we like that. (Kathleen doesn’t move.) Come on, hon. It’s not going to dial itself.

Kathleen picks up the phone, then immediately hangs it up.

What do I say again?

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Are you kidding me? You say what I just spent the last hour telling you to say. If you get lost, just read from your script.

2.

KATHLEEN The thing is though, I was under the...I thought that I would be doing paperwork stuff...filing? I’m really good at filing.

And finding typos. I never said I wanted to make phone calls.

BRENDA You said you would do whatever we needed you to do. And this is what we need you to do. Talk. To people. Voters.

KATHLEEN But what if they don’t want to talk to me?

BRENDA Oh, sweetheart, I can one hundred percent guarantee that they don’t want to talk to you. They want to watch MASH. But who cares what they want? This is about what they need.

KATHLEEN I’m not good at...personal exchanges.

BRENDA Look. You are calling them with important information. Life changing information. Think of it like this, this might help, imagine that there is a ticking time bomb under their house, only they don’t know it. They have no idea that this horrible, preventable thing is about to happen. But you do.

You know all about it, and you know how to stop it. Wouldn’t it be your obligation to tell them about it?

KATHLEEN Why do I know about the time bomb?

BRENDA Because you are informed.

KATHLEEN But. Okay. I didn’t put the time bomb under there house though, correct?

BRENDA No. It’s not like you’re some evil genius or whatever... you...we are the good guys. And my point is: there is a frickin’ tickin’ time bomb under their house and you, only you, have the code to defuse it. And do you know what the name of that time bomb is, Kathleen?

Kathleen stares: no idea.

BRENDA Ronald. Fucking. Reagan.

3.

Brenda puts the phone down in front of Kathleen.

KATHLEEN Like I said...I’m not really a phone personBRENDA -Do you believe in what we are doing?

Yes?

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Because if you don’t believe in what we are doing, completely, utterly, one thousand percent...

KATHLEEN There’s no such thing as one thousandBRENDA -Then you should get out of here right now. We don’t have time to waste. Do you understand me?

Yes.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Do you want to change the world?

KATHLEEN I do. I think. I mean, who wouldn’t?

BRENDA Is that, like a, baby bird I hear? Tweet, tweet, IthinkImeanwhowoudln’t. None of that. Do you want change?

Yes.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA And what do you want to change?

KATHLEEN I want to change...it would be nice to change...the world.

Brenda struts about the office.

BRENDA We are creating space in a dead-end two party system for another voice. An independent voice. Do you believe in that voice, Kathleen?

4.

Yes.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Do you believe that John Anderson will be the next president of the United States of America?

KATHLEEN That would be amazing. If that happened.

BRENDA My name is Brenda and I’d like to tell you why I’m voting for John Anderson for President.

KATHLEEN Right. I mean, thank you. Or...good job...I don’t...

BRENDA My name is...(signals for her to repeat)...my name is...

KATHLEEN My name is Kathleen and I’d like to tell you why I’m voting for John Anderson for President.

There we go.

BRENDA Brenda finds a number and dials.

BRENDA It’s like sex. The first time is always the worst.

What?

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Shit. Bad example. Nothing. Now a ton a people are going to say: “I wish I could vote for him, but I don’t want to waste my vote.” And what you’re going to say is: If all the people who said they wanted to vote for him, just voted for him, he’d win! So just fucking vote for him! Only don’t say fucking. It’s ringing - here you go.

She hands the phone to Kathleen.

Hello? I ummm...I...

KATHLEEN Kathleen panics and hangs up.

5.

Sorry.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA You can’t do that. You can’t just hang up on people.

No one was there.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Yes there was. She sounded like an old lady. Probably rushed to answer the phone ‘cause nobody ever calls. And you just hung up on her face.

I know.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Something brought you in here today. Right?

Right.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA You could be at the library or some bar or the disco...

I don’t really...disco.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA Kathleen, why are you here exactly?

KATHLEEN There were only two Political Science co-op jobs, this one and one at the DMV. And that just seemed...like dying.

BRENDA That may have been a slightly better fit.

KATHLEEN Yeah. I’m probably more of the DMV type...only...I hope not.

BRENDA Well, you know what? You’re here now. Giving your time and your talent to this campaign. And we need you. So. (Brenda finds a number and dials.)

Let’s start changing the world. It’s ringing. Go!

6.

Brenda hands Kathleen the phone, she points to a name in the directory.

KATHLEEN Hello? Hello. Hi. Is this Mr. Or Mrs. Reardon? Hi Mrs. Reardon. Could I have a moment of your time? Okay...ahh...

My name is Kathleen and I’d like to tell you why I’m voting for John Anderson for President. I am calling you this evening to share the reasons why I and (to Brenda in a whisper) millions? Is that right? That can’t beMillions!

BRENDA

KATHLEEN Millions of other Americans are voting for the Congressman from Illinois, John Anderson. (beat) John Anderson. He’s running for president. Of the United States. Of...this country. Yeah. He is. No. I would not...shit you. He’s a person...a man...he’s a Congressman from Illinois. He’s an Independent third party candidate. No. I swear to God. (To Brenda) She thinks I’m kidding.

BRENDA Because he’s new to the race.

KATHLEEN He’s new to-Oh. Yes. I do, too. I love Ted Kennedy. I know.

That poor girl. Yeah...yeah...I don’t know if it’s a curse, but it’s definitely bad luck. Yes. Yes. I will say a prayer for him. I promise.

Kathleen hangs up.

KATHLEEN I need to go to the Ladies Room.

BRENDA No, you don’t. You just don’t want to make anymore calls.

It’s hard. I know. Nobody likes this part.

The phone rings.

BRENDA Bingo! Here we go. Pick it up.

KATHLEEN Hello. John Anderson for-oh, okay...hang on a second. (Hands the phone to Brenda) It’s for you.

7.

BRENDA Really? (Takes the phone) Hello. Brenda here. How might I help you this evening? Yes! Yes! I would love to tell you more about our candidate. Let me...(listens, flattered) No. No. I’ve never been told that I sound like Farrah Fawcett.

But, thank you. So what’s your question? (beat, she listens then the caller asks something obscene) God. Fuck off, Paul!

You think that’s funny? What are you nine years old? He’s at my mother’s. (beat) When I feel like it. Well, you know what Paul? I like to make the other guy, put the other shoe on the other foot. (Pause) That’s an analogy, Paul. I screwed it up, because I’m mad, but it’s still an analogy. DEAL WITH IT. Brenda slams the phone down.

BRENDA That was a personal call.

Oh. My ex is such a dick.

Sure.

KATHLEEN BRENDA KATHLEEN

BRENDA All he cares about is his dopey Camaro. Okay. I got to get home. My mother’s watching the baby, and by “watching” I mean she’s on her third Stinger. Here’s a key.

I get a key?

KATHLEEN

BRENDA You’re in the big leagues now, Kathleen.

Brenda gathers her items, she locks the office door and puts the key in her desk drawer.

KATHLEEN I don’t have to come back if you don’t want me to.

BRENDA Don’t talk like that. This stuff is tough. Sometimes I feel like an ugly Avon Lady. Ding Dong. Slam. But we can win if we just reach out to enough people. Every rejection just gets us closer to a yes. Have you ever read the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”?

8.

Kathleen has not.

BRENDA I’ll bring you in my copy. Talks all about not getting stuck in the failure of a situation. You are bigger than that, Kathleen. Bigger. Okay. So you finish stuffing these envelopes and that should take you until nine.

Okay.

KATHLEEN

BRENDA The door locks automatically, if you need to leave for any reason, take the key with you. The building is okay safe, but watch yourself. I don’t want to hear about you on the eleven o’clock news. I got enough problems. Night.

Brenda leaves. Kathleen stuffs an envelope or two. Then she walks around the office. She checks the door to make sure it’s locked. It’s kind of thrilling to be in charge. She makes herself another cup of coffee, mostly Coffee-Mate. She opens a cupboard and a bunch of John Anderson 1980 tee shirts fall out. She finds one about her size.

She puts it on. She turns on the radio, WBCN. A song like Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” plays. She tries to dance to it, but she can’t quite pull it off. She changes the station. Maybe Blondie’s “One Way Or Another” is on - okay, that one she can maybe pull off. She turns it up. As the song plays she gathers more confidence. She dances. It’s almost painful to watch, but it feels good, to be dancing alone in an office at night in a political tee shirt. A knock at the door. She doesn’t hear it.

It turns into banging. She hears it. It scares her. She turns off the radio.

Hey. Hey. Hello?

ROBIN (O.S.) More aggressive knocking. Kathleen tries to hide under a desk.

ROBIN (O.S.) I can hear somebody in there. Brenda? Open the door. I forgot my key.

9.

It’s not Brenda.

KATHLEEN

ROBIN I don’t care who it is. Just let me in.

Kathleen cautiously opens the door.

ROBIN barges in.

ROBIN What took you so long? I have to pee.

Robin runs to the bathroom. She doesn’t shut the door.

Sorry, I. Sorry. I was-

KATHLEEN

ROBIN -And who are you, exactly?

Kathleen Haag. I’m new.

KATHLEEN

ROBIN Hag? Really that’s your name.

It has two A’s...

KATHLEEN

ROBIN So? Nobody hears the two A’s. Are you a volunteer?

KATHLEEN No. It’s my co-op job. Like an internshipRobin re-enters.

ROBIN I know what a co-op job is. I’m Robin Ridge. I work here.

Robin reaches into the drawer of her desk and pulls out a paper bag. She takes out her birth control pills.

Kathleen laughs.

Why is this funny?

ROBIN

10.

KATHLEEN I don’t know, I mean, it’s just not what I expected you to...sorry it’s not funny.

ROBIN You shouldn’t skip a day.

Robin takes a pill.

ROBIN My old roommate skipped like three days. Her skin broke out and then she got pregnant. The end.

I’m sorry.

KATHLEEN

ROBIN She was a moron. Are you still making calls?

KATHLEEN No. Yes. I was just about to make some calls.

ROBIN You can’t call people after nine. It’s basically a federal law. Besides after a certain hour the only people who’ll talk to you are either drunk or crazy or lonely. Or all three wrapped up in some horrible combination. It’s depressing no matter what.

Right.

KATHLEEN

ROBIN And...they count the tee shirts.

It just...fell out.

KATHLEEN Kathleen removes the shirt.

ROBIN And onto your body? Do you normally take things that don’t belong to you?

KATHLEEN No. I just saw them...and I thought...

ROBIN Shut up. I’m just messing with you. Okay. I’m leaving. My boyfriend is waiting outside in the car. Do you need a ride?