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fe\/'essential arts & leisure Salvation armies Oh, Brother A war-ravaged planet ruled by mindless robots? It can only be Britain’s Got Talent Terminator: Salvation! CLEARLY, STAR TREK is the one to beat this summer, and although we’re mildly excited about the upcoming Terminator: Salvation, here at one80 towers we do have a concern or two. Firstly, can you do a Terminator movie without Arnie? Yes, he makes a fleeting appearance via the medium of CGI and body doubles, but it won’t be quite the same, will it? Secondly, can you make a Terminator movie with McG at the helm? This, remember, is the man who brought us the risible Charlie’s Angels movies. Can we really trust him to deliver the emotional punch that we now expect from our re-imaginings? On the bright side, Christian Bale is John Connor, which means that Edward Furlong isn’t (hooray!), and as long as it isn’t as mindnumbingly depressing as The Dark Knight it should provide a diverting couple of hours - if witnessing an orgy of fire and twisted metal is Katja Von Kassell your kind of thing, of course.
WELL, A picture of Davina McCall looking a bit pleased with herself can only mean one thing: that’s right, readers, Big Brother is back for a tenth series. It’s starting a bit late this year (rumour has it to avoid a catastrophic clash with the finals of Britain’s Got Talent) but we’re promised that this latest - and possibly penultimate - run will be the best yet. Oh, please. It’s high time we introduced EU style fishing quotas for this sort of thing: Britain’s stock of eccentrics is running dangerously low, and If action isn’t taken now by 2010 Britain could be peopled solely by ordinary, talentless folk. And then what would we watch, eh? Newsnight, that’s what.
Film
Television
Terminator: Salvation
Big Brother 10
Nationwide release from Wed 3 June www.terminatorsalvation.warnerbros.com
Channel 4, from Thur 4 Jun www.channel4.com/bigbrother
Jo Brand Signings
Wuthering
Elton John
Paul Burston
PAUL BURSTON, EDITOR OF London listings magazine Time Out’s gay pages, has a flourishing second career as a novelist of what might be termed ‘prick lit.’ He has penned several novels – including Shameless, Star People and Lovers and Losers and is currently stomping up and down the country promoting his latest epic, The Gay Divorcee. A satisfying acerbic tale about forty-something Phil, comfortably-off owner of a bar in London’s Old Compton Street and about to enter a civil partnership with hunky but horrid Ashley, The Times rated The Gay Divorcee ‘a rollicking, steamy, witty saga steeped in love, sex and no small amount of cocaine’. Burston, who insists that ‘everything I write is moral’, will be reading from and signing copies of The Gay Divorcee at Prowler Soho (5-7 Brewer Street, London W1) on May 31 at 2pm; at Ghetto (129 St James’s Street, Brighton) on 8 June at 6:30pm; at Prowler (112-113 St James’s Street, Brighton) on 28 June at 2pm and at the House of Homosexual Culture at the London Literature Festival (Level Five Function Room, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, London SE1) on 9 July at 7:45pm.
The Gay Divorcee By Paul Burston. published by Sphere at £11.99 www.paulburston.com
Brighton
Southampton
Bristol
OFFICIALLY THE UK’s funniest woman and best ever panellist on QI, Jo Brand comes to Komedia in Brighton on Wed 3 Jun to read from her new book The More You Ignore Me. www.komedia.co.uk
BRONTE GOES to Bollywood in this brand new musical production of Wuthering Heights, playing at the Nuffield Theatre Southampton from Tues 2 to Sat 6 Jun. www.nuffieldtheatre.co.uk
DEAR OLD Elton John plays one of his huge open air concerts at Gloucestershire County Cricket Club in Bristol on Sat 13 Jun - some tickets still available. www.eltonjohn.com
Saturdays
Clive James
Beyoncé
Brighton
London
IF YOU’RE feeling dumbed down at the moment, smarten up by spending an evening with legendary wit Clive James: Tue 16 Jun at the Theatre Royal Brighton. www.ambassadortickets.com
LAST CHANCE to grab a ticket for Beyoncé’s show at the O2 on Tues 9 June - likely to be your last chance to booty-shake with the queen of R&B this year... www.beyonce.online.com
FINALLY HITTING the road to prove their live chops, The Saturdays play Colston Hall in Bristol on Sun 14 Jun, Guild Hall in Southampton on Sun 21 Jun and Brighton Dome on Thur 25 June. www.thesaturdays.co.uk