22 West Magazine - 2022 Outober Issue

On my first day of classes this semester, I was T-boned on Beach Drive, and I have been on edge, as I’ve been getting metaphor ically T-boned by life in every aspect ever since. CSULB is also being T-boned and it feels impossible to keep track, which is why we’re trying to make it trackable at 22 West Media, a separate entity from the Journalism & Public Relations Department. I love student media. Here at 22 West Magazine, the only editorial oversight is me, our managing editor and copy editor. We’re the only line between getting 22 West Media defunded for a controversial article, which has nearly happened before. Don’t ask.

What I’m saying is that if you want to get published as a student and get your voice platformed, reach out to anyone at 22 West Media and we can serve you. We’re funded by your tuition fees and are a tool to be used. Right now we’re platforming student voices against parking fees, Presi dent Jane Close Conoley’s pay increase and the Fine Arts buildings heat wave kerfuffle. We’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s happening on campus. If you haven’t tuned into our YouTube channel, please watch our video titled, “No Proper A/C in Fine Arts Buildings Means Injustice to Students,” to get caught up. This is going to be a huge semester for revela tions, drama and holding people accountable for their actions. Stay tuned.

Anyways, enjoy this edition of our Out-ober issue, featuring many Queer voices from students, new hires, creatives. Also, 22 West Media doesn’t condone the use of Section 1 drugs. That’s all, thank you, call my secretary if you have any issues. Also, a belated rest in peace to the Queen, Betty White, who lived to be 99 years old.

ANDRES LEON, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

MAGAZINE STAFF

Andres Leon, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@22westmedia.com

Jensen Puckett, Managing Editor managingeditor@22westmedia.com

Natalie Comfort, Lead Copy

Lianna Schieber,

Jake Winkle, Art Director

COVER DESIGN

VOLUNTEER MEETINGS

Meetings every Tuesday at 3:30 on Zoom Contact editorinchief@22westmedia.com or check our bio @22westlb on Instagram

CONTACT US

Email: info@22westmedia.com Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd, Suite 108 Long Beach, CA 90815

Disclaimer and Publication Information: 22 West Magazine is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the magazine, ASI nor LBSU. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, LBSU students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spell ing, punctuation, and length. 22 West Magazine will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. 22 West Magazine assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.

GAS IS FOR LIGHTING CARS ARE FOR PARKING

It’s

time for a polemic aimed at parking services. Polemic— a strong verbal or written attack on someone or something. Parking. You know it; you probably hate it. How do we really get down to the bottom of this parking clusterfuck? Let’s start with the history of this so-called “service.” The oldest parking permit price I could dig up was from the 1975 to 1976 school year, found in the old course catalog. In the fall of 1975, before the first episode of Satur day Night Live, before Muhammad Ali downed Joe Frazier, it cost $15 per semester to park. Tuition and fees for 12+ units? $95. Minimum wage? $2 per hour. Wouldn’t it be nice to pay for tuition and fees with as little as a week and a half of work?

But hey! This is a parking attack piece, so let’s keep it moving. In 1992, I was a baby, but LBSU students were paying $54 per semester for park ing while tuition had ballooned to approximately $1,300. Today in 2022, we enjoy parking rates that have grown out of control. $250 per semester. It is just completely indefensible. Even more so, as our school rolls around the pig shit label of being a “social mobility” university while turning the screw on every student possible for that sweet parking cash. The parking website hides so much critical informa tion, such as the department line item budget, behind an excessive number of clicks. When you don’t even offer the names or pictures of your staff, what makes you think people will side with you? Among five sepa rate FAQ sections on the website, the first question they tried to answer was: “Why do I have to pay for parking?”

The answer starts exactly how you would expect: “Parking fees are shared and equitable. All individ uals who utilize parking facilities on campus must

also share in the cost of providing these facilities and services regardless of status (employee, faculty, student, etc.) or guest designation.”

First off, it’s not equitable, you dummies. Equity has to do with outcomes. How is it equitable when you compare a student’s commute with a careerlevel staff member’s commute? An art student might commute from the other side of Los Angeles every day, be relegated to a distant parking lot, then enjoy a slow-bake in their windowless, unventilated room while career admins who make six-figure salaries have parking spots just a hop and a skip from their office door.

The parking fees are not equitable in how they are assessed and administered. Those making fulltime salaries should absolutely be paying more than students. This preferential treatment of staff members goes all the way up to the top, as Presi dent Jane Conoley and her office love to help Parking and Transportation Services astroturf, or artificially beautify, their annual reports.

From the 2017 to 2018 annual report to the most recent one, you will find the parking annual reports filled with a section bragging: “We Deliver Superior Customer Service!” My question is, for who?

The 2017 to 2018 report features feedback from a single student and it was a past ASI student president thanking them for fast responses.

The 2018 to 2019 report had zero student feedback. The 2019 to 2020 report: one student. The 2020 to 2021 report obscures the source of the feedback further; while previous years included the job titles of

people leaving feedback, including lots of deans, full time professors and director-level staff, this year’s report doesn’t feature that. But it does feature repeat feedback givers from the President’s Office; shout out Neal Schnoor.

When the only people giving you anything resem bling a compliment about your service are affiliated with you, is this a fair and equitable service? We’ve barely scratched the surface of what you might not know about parking.

There is the lingering scar tissue around the park ing offices lack of actual incentives to get people taking alternative transportation on and off campus. The Metro U-Pass program used to provide students with a “free” bus pass. This program has eroded into a shitty discounted bus pass. Meanwhile, parking cannot even pretend they care. If you really cared, you would be helping the City of Long Beach build a light rail across town.

Instead of light rail efforts, we get overflow park ing efforts that would have you park in the next county over. Total farce. Instead of student work ers getting a parking perk or benefit, we got our remote work ing options rescinded in the middle of summer and still couldn’t even park in the lot closest to the 22 West Office. But it’s okay, the usual administrative pencil pushers will eventually get back to you, except they will not until

“The whole school could benefit from an auditor’s microscope crawling up some departmental asses”

LIGHTING PARKING

they need a cheap DJ for Smorgasport on a Saturday.

Instead of a bus pass that works, we get social media posts explaining how the G-15 lot actually isn’t a general parking lot at all, you dumbass. Instead, it’s all short-term parking, but hey, at least there is the illusion of general parking on that side of campus. There’s also the sneaky removal of parking alter natives. Local homeowners have complained for decades about LBSU students parking in their neigh borhoods; preferential parking arrived and now the city will ticket and tow your ass.

So, as affordable parking options dwindle ever further, you find the parking fee schedule to be an increasingly dastardly power and money grab on campus. It takes a lot of nerve on this campus to empty your pockets and flop a five-year long plan for fee increases on the table.

As we are in the second of the five years of these fee increases, let’s ponder this orb. How much money do they need? And how much money will they get? Compared to the $210 semester parking pass last year, and this years’ $250 joint, the fifth year parking fees at $380 per semester has students looking at campus inequity in the face. Let’s get budget-y real quick. The 2019 to 2020 school year reflects $10.4 million in revenue from permit purchases at a time when the parking permit cost $140 per semester.

$280 for a year of parking, you would hit $10.6 million dollars. Pretty good conversion rate overall.

Let’s assume that there are 40,000 students on campus in 2025, the final year of this five-year, fee-hiking gulag. If 40,000 future students all paying $760 per year to park would balloon that hypotheti cal $10.6 million to an eye-wa tering $30.4 million in 2025. Will every student buy one? No. While $30.4 million may seem like a skewed number, the high-water mark for Parking and Transportation Services budgeting is around $12 million in revenue and $12.8 million in budget expense, both 2017 to 2018. So $30.4 million is the absolute best case estimate, if they even hit $15 million. As a result of this, the parking office has successfully conned students and made out like bandits.

Where the hell is all this parking money going? We have already built over the campus unless President Jane is about to get real saucy in regard to Puvun

gna, or we will just see another parking structure go up that will take decades to pay off and then the undergrads for 2030 can deal with the mess we leave them. The current budget already allocates almost $3 million per year toward debt service, stuffing another $2.3 million into a “construction reserve” that then makes their budget run in the red with a deficit totalling $1.08 million, meaning if they held off on juicing the construction reserve this past year, they would have a balanced budget. Full stop. Why do the fees increase again?

I won’t pretend to know their budget inside and out, but with fees only ever going up, the parking office is begging to be the subject of an investigation around financial transparency and accountability. The whole school could benefit from an auditor’s microscope crawling up some departmental asses, but then again the Foundation Building is such a special, special place, they get their own designa tion on the parking map. Lastly, without any evidence to prove it beyond some hearsay from a few birdies around campus, Parking and Trans portation Services apparently is oper ated via a third Party contractor? Can’t find a single thing about that on the website or the parking reports, but I would love to print something salacious to force a reply. Afterall, I have been through the woodwork before.

You can throw a boo Jake online

@QuantumGeography

Formal reprisals can be directed to radiomanager@22westmedia.com

The bravest souls can visit 22 West on the first floor of the USU. Inquire within.

“Instead of a bus pass that works, we get social media posts explaining how the G-15 lot actually isn’t a general parking lot at all, you dumbass.”

The

Natalie Comfort: When did your interest in journalism and multi media begin?

Reyn Ou: I developed an interest in multimedia, first and fore most. When I was little, I used to always go to the special features parts of DVD movies to look at the behind-the-scenes and special effects parts because I always thought it was really cool. I started off with a pirated copy of Adobe Premiere when I was 15 and I used my mom’s camera. Then I had a really big burnout where suddenly I couldn’t watch movies or TV shows anymore without it hurting me. So, I fell out of it for a bit. But I went to high school where they really drilled into you that you need to figure out your career by 18. So, I was like well I did spend 3 or 4 years learning film, I guess I’ll make that my career. When I was 18, I was trying to move out of my house. I was very focused on having a financial safety net. So I applied to a bunch of internships. The one internship that called me back was CBS news in LA, which wasn’t video, right? So I was like eh. That was the first time I did journalism at all. I knew this internship was going to help me get a head start

I had no idea what journalism was. But I ended up getting sucked into the world of broadcast news after that because I was really into the thrill of breaking news. But I got pulled into journalism by force. I think my dream back then was to be a writer for SNL. I wanted to do entertain ment. I wanted to be a writer or video editor for comedy.

That is the opposite of news, which is usually sad and tragic.

I actually saw my first dead body when I was interning for CBS. There was a shootout in the neighborhood. And I remem ber my supervisor just casually goes: oh there’s a dead body. And you instinctively turn to look at things, right? And I looked at the screen and was like oh … there were like pools of blood spilling onto the sidewalk. And I was like so this is what this line of work is. When I went to college, I took all these film classes about the history of film, how the camera was invented, and all these theoretical things. I was in my third year of college, and they still didn’t have any classes that had practical applications. And I was like I’m not going to learn anything at this rate. I was already minoring in journalism at the time since I wanted to have something in case film [fell] through. I was already taking some journalism classes and I didn’t like it because it was all the beginning journalism classes which was all writing articles which

was all cut and dry, like breaking news briefs. But I realized when looking at the journalism course list, they had a lot more practical courses. So I was like maybe I can switch, so I can actually pick up some hard skills that are marketable. I don’t recommend that for choosing how to major, but I was in a very pragmatic mindset, where I just really wanted to get a job as soon as I could. So, I made the switch to journalism. And DIG and the Daily 49er hired me. I had noticed that people in jour nalism don’t have the [strongest] skill set in multimedia, which made my work stand out. All I have to focus on is strengthening what I already know. I got here because I was trying to look for a job, not because I found a calling or a passion or anything. I have fun with what I do. Would I consider it my passion… not really? I don’t like my passions to be work-related. I think it produces a lot of anxiety.

NC: The stakes are so high.

RO: There are so many other things you can make your passion without making it your entire life. I would hate to make [it] something I would eventually end up resenting. Video-making, multimedia, and journalism are things I like doing and things that I am good at. I am okay with that being my career. I am okay if I eventually end up hating it, or being tired or drained from it. It’s not something I creatively rely on.

NC: It’s not so special to you that if you grew to hate it because you have to use it to make money, you wouldn’t feel that your job took something away from you.

RO: Exactly. I am pretty happy that I am in this field because I found a really good balance between my work and the things I like doing, that aren’t necessarily my source of happiness. I think if I made my work my source of happiness, I would be very miserable.

NC: How is working for 22 West similar to the other positions you have worked at the Daily 49er and DIG Magazine?

RO: I’m still producing content. I am able to incorporate my voice into things. 22 West, DIG, and Daily 49er did not have any

“I think if I made my work my source of happiness, I would be very miserable.”

FEATURE BY NATALIE

sort of like restrictions on the things that I could produce. And that was really cool because it gave me a lot of room to experiment with things. The reason I was able to find opportunities outside of campus was that these student media publications had given me so much freedom that I could just make whatever the fuck I want.

People here are really open to collaborating, when I was working for Daily 49er I was the only person on a team. For a while, I was the only video person: shooting, producing, editing…

NC: I can’t imagine. That must have been a massive turnaround time since you had to do everything yourself.

RO: Yeah, it used to take me 2-4 weeks to make a video.

NC: That’s honestly still pretty impressive for one person.

RO: I appreciate that, but you need a team. I like 22 West because there is an adequate amount of people to work with. I can count on people now. Whereas, with Daily 49er, I was on my own.

NC: When you mentioned being excited about there being a team now, what’s something you would like to make for 22 West?

RO: I am actually in the works of producing a radio show, called “Reyn Against the Machine”.

NC: I love that!

RO: Thank you, it was a nickname that my girlfriend came up with on the fly. It stuck with me; I thought that is so funny. It’s going to be a radio show where people can talk about injustices they saw on campus. There is a lot of shit that goes down that doesn’t get picked up by student media. I want to create a space that had a more immediate response for students. I also like taking digs at campus issues so I thought it would be a pretty cool idea to have a radio show where people submit really interesting stories about certain injustices or issues that no one is doing anything about. I am working with Jacob (the radio general manager) on that. He has also been wanting some thing more socio-politically involved since radio has a very strong sports division, but not necessarily a news divi

RO: I want to wield it as a weapon to dismantle the status quo. I never liked mainstream media for maintaining the status quo. I feel like it’s lame, it’s easy, it’s uninspired, and it’s also just unfair. The media shapes people’s opinions, right? And when people’s opinions are shaped, it shapes how they behave and interact with the world and each other. So when you have the media telling you things about who deserves rights and who doesn’t, who is inherently powerful and who’s not, what is right and what is wrong, you sort of indoctrinate people under this cultural hegemony. So, my desire for journalism is to put a wedge into that. To get people to start ques tioning the nature of their lives. To question why things are the way they are and why we take them for granted. Why do we feel like it’s normal to clock in from 9 to 5 every day? Why do we think it’s normal to have to pay for health care? Why do you have to convince people why you deserve housing and happiness and food? Why do we take these as things that are natural? Because it is not natural, we came up with this stuff. It’s a against the daily injus tices they experience and are too tired to question.

NC: What would you say are some foundational aspects of your identity that shape how you experience the world?

RO: I consider myself to be Queer. I have realized very early on that when you are Queer it immediately sets you apart. Even though we are progressing towards a more progressive worldview, [we] are still progressing towards a worldview that sets people apart based on their sexuality. I think a lot about gay marriage, right? Because within our culture it is seen as a victory for Queer people, right? The reason why it was such a big deal

“The media shapes people’s opinions, right? And when people’s opinions are shaped, it shapes how they behave and interact with the world and each other.”

in the first place was because of healthcare. You couldn’t see people in the hospital dying unless you were married to them. It only [was] like that because we established that [heterosexual] marriage was the highest status for a person. So, even though you are securing more rights for gay people the need for those rights [existed] to begin with because cis-het ero people established that [system] to begin with. A small victory for us is still a small victory under this overarching system. Some people might be happy with that because they have existed for so long under this system that they just want some relief. But I think it would be better in the long term if that overarching hegemony didn’t exist in the first place. But you know, that’s asking a lot, so I get it.

Because the way you view the world isn’t like the majority.

It isn’t aligned. And so there are a lot of things, that cishet people take for granted, that I will have to put a lot of energy into, like which restroom to use, how I dress, healthcare too. Healthcare is so hard already. But when you’re not cis and not straight, there is a lot more you have to think about. And it’s hard to get access. It’s given me a lot of perspective [on] how I interact with people. I’m a lot more conscious with the way I interact with people, I’ve become a lot less judgmental with people. Since I’m so used to people assuming things about me, I’ve learned to never assume things about other people and to be more open to things. So I appreciate my identity giving me that perspective and opportunity for growth. At the same time, I don’t know if that’s worth all the other stuff. But I don’t know, I’ve made a lot of amazing friends, I have met such a huge community. That’s something you can’t really find unless you occupy a certain identity.

NC: There’s already a shared closeness.

RO: There is a huge kinship I have with the world around me because we have very similar experiences. I’m comforted by the sense of solidarity with each other. It’s my one solace even when I know that I will never live to see the end of this culture of oppression that we’ve created.

Being Chinese… well, my parents are really anti-Chinese because they are right-wing. So, growing up Chinese living with sinophobic parents is really weird. It gets really weird to have other parts of your family be Chinese living their lives with Chinese culture and wanting to take part in that but being afraid your parents will call you a spy. I didn’t get a lot of time to explore my Chinese self. I deeply regret it because I used to explore it a lot. I have a part of my family that is deeply connected with that culture. Growing up in America, in this culture, sometimes you have to assimilate. And I’ve been trying to not assimilate as much because I’m angry. I got more time to explore being Queer because somehow being gay is more acceptable than being Chinese in certain cases.

NC: And I remember you mentioned how you didn’t want to get your personal identity tied up in work, why do you feel that way?

RO: I don’t think work should be your identity. With the way we perceive work now, you’re going to exhaust yourself. I don’t know if it’s even possi ble to turn your passion into work these days because we are making work such an all-consuming thing.

NC: It’s kinda like capitalist propaganda, that you are what you create, and you have no other value.

RO: Yeah, exactly. With that in mind, I already don’t want to get my personal self sucked into this corporate capitalist machine that’s just going to erase myself of all value. Reduce me to what I bring to the table.

I think if I tried to make my identity a priority at work, I would be really upset because they’re not going to get it right. It’s not in their interest to get it right. They lose money every time they try to invest in making things fair. I can’t put my faith into workplaces to respect me as a person. So I try to separate my personal identity from work because I don’t trust them to take care of it. I don’t expect a company to do more than the bare minimum and I would be mentally worse off if I expected that.

NC: You don’t set up an expectation that you know is going to get torn down.

RO: I work to make money, I don’t work to find meaning. I think meaning exists outside of work. I hope other people don’t make work their entire lives because that’s really sad. And I know some people don’t have a choice like me. I graduated high school with the intention of looking for work and I sort of had to make that who I was for a very long time. But I wouldn’t wish that on someone, I wish we all got the chance to explore ourselves and I don’t know, touch grass in an open field. But instead, we’re here.

DEAD NAME

It’s not a deadname. As much as my younger self wanted to die I can’t let him Because I can’t live without him.

He needs to be able to see himself now That birthdays are actually about life And his skin is healed and feels right.

He is still in progress but every slight Imperfection is a speck of dust in the light.

Thinking of the future doesn’t give him a fright Because he knows it is bright.

The boy of his dreams Is in the mirror in sight. He doesn’t have to fight to be alive Because heavy shoulders grew wings and Took flight.

He doesn’t freeze up his spirit He uses it to write.

“I will,” “I am,” Came from “I might.”

The bridges burned lit the way and The fire in his heart is always alight. He’s alright.

I’m a pressure tile pressed with gravel to fit a picture, perfect, mosaic piece of marble.

Feel the pressure against my title. Resonate against the letters, that do not make me.

“Isn’t everyone a little gay?”

GLASS SEA WEED & SHARDS

I’m unlabeled. Usually, unstable when constrained to a room.

Two colors: red and blue make purple. Choose any color from the hues of blood orange between knuckles swimming through mucus-filled seas, glass shards and seaweed.

Of course it makes tidal waves, if you find yourself in the Red Sea.

“Why don’t you just say you’re bi?”

So pick all of the colors or none and run heavy or empty handed.

Come where lovers meet in unison, Your part and mine, no matter the shape, will always fit.

I prefer to make my own mark from a devotee who will lick what can’t be seen. Unless they’re in the sea with me.

“Pansexual?”

I’m unlabeled. usually, underwhelmed when given a title I didn’t ask for.

Pressure tiles. Pressing titles. Against the grain to let it break the way I want it to.

Copper flows from my feet, as I walk from the sand filled mines of the beach.

“If you like Luke Skywalker space man boots, that’s OWN HISTORY

LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN AND QUEERING HISTORY

EXAMINING THE PATTERN OF LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION IN HISTORICAL FICTION

And with this pattern growing, it raises a few ques tions about Queering historical figures and events. While these figures did exist and may or may not have been gay, does it lead us to over-admire and romanti cize people of history outside their proper contexts?

I mean, Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet were in an era of piracy that benefited from slave trade and coloni zation. Does that make it weird? Regardless of that, is it weird to speculate on historical facts for our own entertainment? It’s a slippery slope to Queering other historical figures with even less historical context.

For all we know, maybe those dead people were gay. I do think it’s an interesting and important discus sion to have as to when and how we can Queer dead people. One major difference is whether there is plausibility for the figure being Queer. In Hamilton, there is no real grounds for Thomas Jefferson being transgender. He was a wealthy owner of enslaved African Americans.

I think “A League of Their Own” and “Our Flag Means Death” work because there is high plausibil ity. Members from the historic Peaches team have confirmed that there were Queer women among the players and there is ample historical evidence for Queer relationships on pirating vessels.

AmazonPrime Video recently released the “A League of Their Own” mini-series, which follows the players and relationships in the Rockford Peaches baseball team, part of the all-women baseball league created during World War II. The series expands on what was left unsaid in the 1992 film by the same name: the discrimination of Black women from playing on the team, the inclu sion of Latina players, and Queer women engaging in relationships.

It’s a fun, refreshing series, which seems to be starting up a pattern in entertainment lately: the Queering of history in entertainment. Queering is a shortened form of “Queer reading” which is exam ining a text through a Queer lens. In this case, “A League of Their Own” has a Queer reading of the actual historic event. This isn’t the first major series that does a Queer reading of historical figures this year. “Our Flag Means Death” looks at historic pirates, Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet, and imagines a relationship between them. It is fantastic represen tation with multiple LGBTQ+ characters and Queer relationships.

I hate to bring up Miku-binder Thomas Jeffer son: an illustration that is a by-product of the Hamil ton fandom putting the founding father in a college setting. The image headcanons him as transgen der, bisexual, a furry, and an ex-drug dealer. It’s one of those deep fandom things that is beyond basic human understanding. The Hamilton fandom had a deep struggle with normal fandom practices towards a well-liked musical and the actual people the musical is based on. What started out as an artistic interpre tation of Alexander Hamilton’s biography devolved through fandom culture. Being a fan of the musical became a Tumblr rabbit hole of fanart, ships, and headcannons of the founding fathers.

That’s something fandoms do often, even outside of historical fiction. Attention to the text takes a back seat to subtext and headcanons. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If you like to imagine Luke Skywalker as a gay space man with Chanel boots, that’s cool. I’m a firm believer that art is interpretive. But that’s the thing, interpretation depends on the text. At least for plain old fiction, there isn’t much to gain or lose. Shipping Sam and Frodo is different from shipping Lewis and Clark. Sam and Frodo are made up, so you can make up whatever you want about them, but Lewis and Clark were real people that are connected to their historical context.

What else makes these shows stand apart is the nuance around each. In “A League of Their Own”, they lean into the realities of the time. The women have to keep their relationships a secret and Chante Adams’ character, Maxine, shows the harsh discrim ination Black women faced compared to the Cauca sian women on the team. “A League of Their Own” has an approach that is deeply concerned with historical accuracy, showing many sides to the story, while delivering a relatable show

“Our Flag Means Death” has a different plan. Instead of delivering on historical accuracy, they play with the legendarium of piracy. Historical study of pirates is hard to pin down because accounts are swirled together with rumor and tall tales. Thus, “Our Flag Means Death” does not stick by one account, taking pieces from many to build a compelling “what if” scenario. What if Blackbeard had a torrid love affair with the gentleman pirate Stede Bonnet? It’s more of an exploration than a historical account.

But then again, fandoms are a ruthless and fever ish monster that spark flaming words and war on the internet. I’m sure if you dive deep enough you’ll find people that are willing to defend the name of Stede Bonnet, conflating the character for the dead guy. But in all likelihood, they are either a kid that will need some time to catch on to nuance, or they are really just not worth your time.

So is that it? Yes. I would say it is a case-by-case basis; some things are more susceptible to this kind of stuff than others. Really, you just have to keep an eye out for it. Be smart and look at entertainment critically. like to imagine Skywalker as a gay man with Chanel that’s cool.”

I’m not saying this like, “you can’t desecrate historical figures by making them gay” or whatever.

STEREOTYPING FROM A BLACK BISEXUAL WOMAN

THE INTERSECTIONALITY OF BEING A PART OF DIFFERENT MINORITY GROUPS

Being both the B in LGBTQ+ and a Black woman in America is a horror movie concept Jordan Peele could capitalize on. I will not harp on the struggles of each letter under our rain bow flag, instead, I will focus on the harmful stereo typing placed on bisexual Black women. Recently, I went on a date with someone I’ve been crushing on through Instagram. Until now, I’ve lacked clarity with my own sexuality. I was taught to believe that

Most bible camps have the same agenda. They require all campers to leave their phones at home to help campers fully immerse themselves into the Bible without “worldly influences’’. The space was only for prepubescent teens, those either entering middle school or about to start high school. Without our parents breathing down our neck, we had the ability to talk to anyone, eat whatever we wanted, and roam the campgrounds.

the “Adam and Eve” type of love is the only love you can have. Through bible camp sessions and talks of virginity with my mom, I grew up focused on my looks.

I always would feel uneasy when fun activities would turn into confession time. Confession time usually happens near the end of the week, right before we would go back home. Most kids would avoid it by not confessing at all while others, like me, would open up. Each camp session, I would either share within the group about my struggles or speak privately to my camp counselor afterwards. Once, I vented to my counselor about my experience of watching porn for the first time. While I was sobbing in guilt, she would try to comfort me with scripture and offer discipleship. The advice felt superficial because the ultimate goal was my baptism, rather than under standing.

To make it worse, my counselor was both my age

“Without our parents breathing down our neck, we had the ability to talk to anyone, eat whatever we wanted, and roam the campgrounds.”

at the time and Black. It was hurtful that she never warned or reassured me about our shared experience as Black women. I needed someone to tell me it was normal to be curious and explain to me the differ ence between a performance and real love. Coming back home was hard. I stayed away from conversa tions about attraction to the opposite sex. Personally, growing up with “loving” judgment slowly made me hate a piece of myself I had never thought to question. For most individuals, it’s traumatizing looking back at how much your childhood has affected you. During my childhood, I could not just be a girl to society.

I still feel insecure correcting someone on my pronouns; I know it’s because of the masculinization and sexualization of Black women. I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me if I was bi and wanted a threesome. I know others can understand

Stereotyping has turned my friendships into dust. In one instance, they did not understand that joking about whether I would be eating watermelon for lunch was a microaggression. My Black peers from the suburbs can relate to the constant anti-Black ness coming from both your community and society.

A past Tinder date told me that I was not Black after I told him I was into alternative music. He too, was Black. Speaking to Black people and non-Black people alike, stereotyping Black women is ignoring our complexities as a human being. I do like Tame Impala; I don’t know how to twerk, and I love the way that I choose to live. It’s not healthy to attribute the likes and dislikes of a person based on your assumptions. It leads to a division of a demo graphic competing for acceptance. There is no “true” Black person or woman. It’s hard knowing you want to fight stereotypes, but the only solution presented is avoiding your own identity. I’ve had to cling onto smaller Black communities on school campuses and

Last year, I joined the National Association of Black Journalists on campus, Long Beach Chapter with three other Black women. Revitalizing the club has connected me with other Black women who want

to educate and diversify the newsroom. Each Tues day was so fun: discussing current events, journal ism ethics and validating each other’s experiences. It’s unfortunate that I will never feel excited learn ing about my family tree. Growing up in southern California, I had no extended family. All I had for my family during the holidays were my parents and my younger brother, no gay uncles or stoner grandmas. My brother and I suffered in silence through lectures on what Christmas was “really” about.

In the Black community, homophobia is a large issue that no one talks about, especially families who go to church and follow the rules of their religion with out compassion. It’s one thing to follow your beliefs; it’s another when you impede on another person’s beliefs. Pushing your religion onto anyone who is not interested is not right. They say it’s a battle with sin. It feels like a battle with myself. A battle between what I want and what the world wants.

For me, anxiety comes with this battle. I often get stuck in a trance thinking about what people will say

if they know the truth. Will they stay in my life? Will they ever speak to me again?

I’m thankful I still have a place to call home; many Black women do not because they have been cut off from their communities due to same-sex attraction. Something unchangeable. Something that makes them, them. Right now, it’s a privilege to feel safe while living as your true self, but it should be normal ized in all family dynamics.

We must start now by dismantling this idea of the typical Black or bisexual person. With humility, we can accept others’ sense of self with respect, instead of judgment. Why would anyone judge someone’s life when we’ll both be six feet under the same dirt?

“A past Tinder date told me that I was not Black after I told him I was into alternative music.”

The late 60s were characterized by the “Make Love, Not War” movement, flower power, colorful swirls, the rise of the hippies, some of the best music made, and of course, the most free-spirited music festival, Woodstock. Some may have seen it as the best time to live. The rise of the hippie movement pushed for change among young people. At the time, many young people were not happy with society, causing them to isolate themselves into their own groups, going against the status quo. Being isolated from societal normalities, they desired to look at things from another perspec tive, in a different light. Every generation has had something to influence pop culture. Now, in the year 2022, the social media app TikTok is a large hub of influence for current pop culture, but in the 60s, the major influence for pop culture was drugs.

The age of psychedelic drugs was on the rise: this included lysergic acid diethylamide, better known as LSD, magic mushrooms, MDMA, and marijuana. Many people in the 60s and 70s were curious to try drugs after learning that LSD could expand people’s perspective on how they were able to look at things, or as some could say “open

their minds” or the “third eye.” Psychedelic drugs have many different names, one being hallucinogens. Hallucinogens are strong psychoactive substances that affect the part of the brain called the prefron tal cortex; this part of the brain is responsible for the shift in perception, perspective, and cognitive processes. Sounds, colors, and feelings can be intensified greatly. LSD may also produce halluci nations of sounds or objects that may not even be real or within reach.

Similar to the musicians of the 60s including Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles, some musical artists still use the mind-opening abilities of certain hallucino gens to produce music. Rapper A$AP Rocky also created music using psychedelics, producing his song “L$D” while on LSD. In producing the song, he got first-hand advice from a professor who stud ied LSD to understand the reactions to drugs while recording the song. The world of psychedelics is increasingly being openly talked about in different popular podcasts, shows, and short documentaries. A recent show, “Have A Good Trip: Adven tures in Psychedel ics” includes many celebrities speaking about their expe riences on some of the better-known psychedelics. Another Netflix documentary called “Fantastic Fungi” explores the world of mushrooms, their properties and how they fit within the medicinal world.

Although psychedelics have been continuously used throughout the music industry, they have also made their way into a different industry, the SHIFTED PERSPECTIVES

SCHEDULE 1 DRUGS MAY HAVE A PLACE IN TREATING MENTAL ISSUES

“Being isolated from societal normalities, they desired to look things from another perspective, in a different light.”

SHIFTED PERSPECTIVES

medical field. These drugs have beneficial uses to many people with psychological disorders. Back in the 60s, many researchers had brought music into psychedelic psychotherapy. Since they were banned in the 70s, they were only available to those with licenses. Since psychedelics hold the capability to shift perception and perspective, they may have the potential to be used in a therapeutic way for people who suffer from mental health issues. Psychedelics have been introduced into different therapies to help those with post-traumatic stress disor der. According to Forbes, the U.S Department of Veterans

Affairs has begun a series of clinical trials to record an accurate effectiveness rate of psychedelic drugs as treatment for military veterans. Many veterans suffer from severe cases of PTSD due to the stress and trauma their job in the military might have put them through. Often this leads to other mental health conditions that include anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. The rate of suicide is much higher for military veterans versus the rate of suicide for civilians. One of the drugs that have gained momentum within the VA studies is MDMA, as well as psilocybin, which is an active compound within the magic mushrooms.

In order for the VA to prescribe these drugs to veterans, research must be published with statistics to prove that they have a positive effect with mental health issues and disorders. These drugs have been shown to have quick effects along with being long-lasting within the body. According to Forbes, many veterans have been going to foreign

retreat centers that provide psychedelics to receive similar treatments to what the VA is currently study ing. Healthcare professionals and researchers want to put a strong emphasis on how to safely administer and prescribe these medications.

The longer people stay curious and consistent in wanting to find new solutions to old problems, the sooner the world will become whole one small section at a time. One solution might work great for

one person but not work as great for someone else, and that is okay as long as there are more options available. As the world begins to progress, what else could be more widely accepted or have a changed view for the better? If something as controversial as drugs are becoming more widely accepted, could canceled student debt, having A/C on the CSULB campus, or even flip flops become less controversial as well? Actually, let’s keep flip-flops controversial.

PSYCHEDELICS ON from normalities, look at another

Ioften

find myself wondering what a man truly is. What it means to inherit masculinity as someone who was not born a man. These inquiries come out mostly at night, while my gender dysphoria takes over as I look in the mirror— my room barely illumi nated by candles scattered around my body. Candles. Do men light candles in their room? Do they trim the wick each time before they light it? Do they light the ones from Bath and Body Works named things like honeycrisp apple and fall farmhouse? I can’t confidently say that they do. Should I forgo things like nice scents and a tidy living space to fit in with the men who live in apartments akin to crime scenes? What else must I forget? What traits must I take on to wholeheartedly embrace masculin ity as a transmascu line person? I turned first to your classic, good ol’ American boy brand of masculinity, a kind of masculinity that many claim to be missing from society today. So, I decided to take a stand against this shortage of virility and search for these traits

myself. I bought 3-in-1 shampoo; I went bankrupt buying smelling salts; I took a stand against washing my legs. These things, albeit disgusting and against my nature, took mini mal effort on my part.

I still had to tackle my own learned behaviors to emulate the mascu line energy I desper

ately wanted to put out. Prior to this endeavor, I viewed group conversation as a collaborative effort. I spoke when there was a brief silence and didn’t drone on for too long to let others speak. I trained my brain to forget all of this. Real, manly, mascu line individuals talk over everyone so they can give their take that not one person gives a shit about. This one especially hurt me because the victims of this phenomenon are women a majority of the time. I live to hear women talk. Truly, my day is not complete until I hear a woman passionately give her take on a

topic of conversation.

And there I go again. Defying my own rules. Repeat after me. Men. View. Talkative. Women. As. Combat ive. I’m really slacking on that one. This alpha male brand of masculinity got stale fast. I hated watching football on Sundays and pretending I knew what a first down was. I got tired of letting laundry pile up before yelling at my mom to do it for me. My legs hurt from climbing into the truck I bought that had those six foot tall wheels. How else could I let everyone on the road know that I had the biggest dick known to mankind? Alas, none of these things suited me.

I knew what I had to do. Although it pained me, I turned to a different type of masculinity. A type even more dangerous than your average alpha male. The men who are “different”. The “nice guys” that call themselves feminists because they “love women”. The kind of guy who has “deep thinker” in his Tinder bio. I knew this type of man all too well. I’ve heard friends drone on and on about this chilling facet of masculinity. It was easy to emulate.

I tried so hard to be this guy. I exhausted every last resource I had. My female friends who dated vinyl snobs and skaters. Reddit. Film Twitter. Letterboxd

WHAT IS MASCULINITY A MAN GOES DEEPER THAN LISTENING TO PODCASTS AND MANSPREADING

“I became a puddle of the person I was before I concocted this idiotic plan.”

“How else could I let everyone on the road know that I had the biggest dick known to mankind?”

users who had Joker or The Wolf of Wall Street in their top four. I didn’t wash my hair. I made promises I intended not to keep. I did crypto while simultane ously tweeting “Fuck Capitalism.” I sat in the pres ence of other men and talked about craft beer. It was torturous.

Forcing these values on myself only made me spiral more. My envy of men did not dissipate. I became a puddle of the person I was before I concocted this idiotic plan. I began to kneel in front of my bed and cry until my eyes stung, begging for some kind of higher power to magically turn me into a cis man. I felt pathetic. The crying felt fantastic though.

The crying is what snapped me back into reality. I realized I could not change the very inner workings of my brain, and after much reflection, I really don’t want to. Yes, I was assigned female at birth. Yes, I was raised as a girl. As a result, I never got berated for crying. I was encouraged to cry. I really do love crying. Perhaps, if I was born a boy I would have been told that crying is weak. But why would that matter? I would be living in a world that was taught to listen to me. However, I would have nothing of value to say. I would spit out the same thoughts and biases that men as a whole have possessed for so long. I think the time I have exhausted struggling with my gender and the myriad of mental issues that accompany that struggle have turned me into someone who has something of value to say. Someone who’s next para graph will hopefully captivate you.

Fuck what textbooks say about masculinity. Forget about the criteria that everyone silently walks around regarding masculine presenting people with. People assign masculinity to inanimate objects like kids toys or tools. What is stopping me from declaring the seemingly outrageous as masculine? From going about my day and assigning masculinity to every thing I do? Everything I see? For instance— I’m at my

most masculine when I’m frying eggs in the morning. When I’m petting my cat. When I’m painting my nails.

When I’m watching movies with my mom. When I’m singing in the car with my friends. When I’m crying underneath the tattoo gun. When I’m making people

All of these things make me masculine. In a perfect world, none of these things should lead people to question my masculinity, but some of them do. I cannot change people, and therefore I refuse to change for them. For the first time in my transition, I have found a sweet spot. I love and am embrac ing how sensitive I am. How I allow myself to love and be loved in return. To allow myself these things after believing for so long that I didn’t deserve them because of my masculinity, is the most masculine act I have attempted thus far.

KEITH HARING’S LEGACY

THE MAN BEHIND THE ART THAT’S EVERYWHERE

Chances are if you walk into a cloth ing store right now, you’ll probably see a T-shirt with Keith Haring’s work printed on it. The barking dog, colorful figures dancing, or maybe the two figures holding up a bright red heart. In addition to Haring’s original work in museums and murals on buildings, his art seems to be everywhere from clothes to shoes to makeup. Haring’s work remains not only popular decades later but also impactful like Haring himself.

Although he was primarily known as an artist, Haring was also an activist who addressed ongoing social issues through his work. Haring’s work was not only distinct in its artistic style but also in the messages it carried. He produced works commenting on the AIDS crisis of the ‘80s, the crack epidemic in New York City, apartheid in South Africa, homosexu ality and safe sex. In addition to his activism, Haring’s belief that art should be accessible to everyone influenced how he navigated his career and worked as an artist. Haring strove to make his work accessible and valued public engagement with his art.

“Utilizing the unused advertising panels in the subways, he drew on the matte black paper with chalk.”

At a young age, Haring became interested in drawing and began to learn basic cartooning skills from his father and pop culture. Haring attended the Ivy School of Professional Art but dropped out two semes ters later after realizing he was not interested in pursuing a career as a commercial graphic artist. He would go on to attend the School of Visual Arts, moving to New York City in 1978.

It was in New York City that Haring became immersed in the alter native art community. He became involved with having exhibitions and performances at alternative venues, such as subways and clubs, in place of museums. During this time, Haring began to be recognized for his subway drawings. Utilizing the unused advertising panels in the subways, he drew on the matte black paper with white chalk. He created hundreds of subway drawings throughout the ‘80s, even getting arrested some times as a result.

In his book “Art in Transit,” Haring said his drawings were universally readable and were meant to make people think and interpret on their own. Haring used his signature figures, icons and symbols like the radiant baby and barking dog in his subway draw ings. The drawings were inspired from pop culture, world events, and ideas about technology or people’s changing relationship to God.

Like his subway art, Haring was inspired to produce work in response to the AIDS crisis of the ‘80s. Haring produced the “Ignorance = Fear,” poster in 1989. The poster portrays three of Haring’s signature human figures, all yellow and with an “X” in the center of their body. One appears to be covering their eyes, one covering their ears, and another covering their mouth. At the top of the poster is written “Ignorance = Fear” and at the bottom written “Silence = Death,” the motto of political action group ACT UP. At the bottom of the poster adjacent to “Silence = Death” is the pink triangle logo of ACT UP with the words “Fight AIDS ACT UP.” Ignorance = Fear was created to raise awareness about the U.S. government’s specifically, President Ronald Reagan’s lack of adequate response to the AIDS pandemic.

AIDS cases were first detected in the U.S. in 1981 and began to predominantly spread among gay men. According to HIV. gov, in 1981 alone 337 cases of AIDS were reported and of those cases 130 individuals died by the end of the year. Meanwhile, the Reagan administration and the media largely ignored the ongo ing pandemic. It was not until 1983 that the New York Times ran a front-page story on AIDS. The Reagan administration remained silent on AIDS for four years after it was first detected. In 1985 Reagan called it “a top priority” but also defended his administration’s response to the crisis amongst criticism that the funding for AIDS research was inadequate. It was not until 1987 that Reagan made his first public speech about AIDS and signed an executive order creating the Presidential Commission on AIDS. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, by

then there were 49,743 cases and 27,909 deaths from AIDS in the U.S., 56% of people who contracted the disease had died. “Ignorance = Fear” along with other works of Haring’s, such as Silence = Death and Fight Against AIDS, brought awareness to the disease when it was being ignored and stigmatized due to widespread homophobia. In 1988, Haring was diagnosed with AIDS. He talked about his diagno sis and AIDS awareness in a 1989 interview with David Sheff featured in Rolling Stone.

“That’s why it’s important for people to know what AIDS is and what it isn’t,” said Haring. “Because there is a potential for far, far worse things to happen, the possibility of more hysteria or more fascist reaction.”

Haring would further his role in AIDS awareness by creating the Keith Haring Foundation in 1989. The foundation gives grants to non-profit organizations involved with the education, prevention and care-related AIDS and HIV infection. The foundation also provides grants to organi zations that assist underprivileged children.

In addition to his philanthropic efforts through his foundation, Haring sought to create and expand access to his art. Throughout his career, Haring created a multitude of public murals around the world. He created murals for schools, hospitals, community centers and even the White House. When creating murals Haring would sometimes collaborate with the community and organizations like CityKids, where the youth of communities would work with Haring to complete the murals. He believed that anyone could enjoy art if given the chance to. This led Haring to open his New York City retail store the Pop Shop in 1986. This sparked criticism from the art world, which Haring addressed in a 1989 interview featured in Rolling Stone.

“I was scared. I knew I would be attacked,” said Haring. “The art world thrives in its little elitist world. The rest of the world can get access if the art dribbles down…” Due to Haring’s rising popularity, the prices of his work increased greatly. Haring said that the Pop Shop made his work accessible through the sale of products like T-shirts, toys, posters, buttons and magnets at a low cost. This was the audience that Haring wanted to see his art, real people.

The Pop Shop and public murals were part of a short-lived yet impact ful career that cemented Haring as an artist for the people. At 31, Haring died on February 16, 1990 due to AIDS related complications. Since his passing Haring has received numerous honors and tributes. In 2019, he was one of the first fifty American pioneers, trailblazers and heroes to be inducted on the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor in the Stonewall National Monument. Haring’s legacy as an activist and artist has continued to live on through his foundation as well as collaborations with companies like Tommy Hilfiger, Reebok and MAC Cosmetics. Whether Haring’s art is discovered through a T-shirt or at a museum exhibition, his work contin ues to find its way into new generations.

“He believed that anyone could enjoy art if given the chance to.”

Family is the first connection we make in this world; they fill the role of caretakers, provid ers, teachers, those we love and can be loved by. However, for many unfortunate people like myself— neglect, abuse and trauma are what family gave me. Not having the basic essentials provided, as someone so young and vulnerable to the world, leads to a lifelong need to fill the gaps in our sense of family. I wish I could be the kid that makes my parents proud of me, even though they would not care. This is the reality for people who grow up in abusive families, even more so for those that are LGBTQ+. I am Vivien Gray Valoren, a 26- year-old non-binary person, and I am part of a chosen family of Queers.

For many that are LGBTQ+, family support may be rough growing up, and this is compounded with the realization that one is Queer. It is at this painful moment that all Queers come to ask this question: “Is it safe telling my family?” Some do and things work out for them, for others, they stay quiet until they are on their own in case they are disowned, abused

or even kicked out to the streets. I was terrified of telling my family. I knew they were not the best, but I figured they would not kick me out. I decided to come out to my father and mother on my 24th birth day, wishing to avoid having the dreadful birthday song sung with a name I did not want. I learned that as much as I wanted them to be the family I needed, they would never be the people I needed in my life nor care enough to accept my Queerness. At 26, I cut contact for good. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life, but best for my sanity. I can only thank my Queer family for supporting me.

When I first had an epiphany about my sexual ity and gender over the COVID-19 quarantine, I felt completely alone. I did not know anyone that was transgender. I scrambled for any resources I could find, anything to answer the plethora of ques tions I had and give me direction. My entire world had changed, and I knew I could no longer rely on my family for help. In my search, I found a link to a transgender Discord server and hesitantly joined, not knowing what to expect. It was there I found the answers I was looking for, talked to others like me who inspired hope for my future and found guidance on my path in life. Once I had the knowledge of what I wanted to do, I felt stable. Several months later, I’d start hormone replacement therapy and begin tran sitioning in the way I wanted. I got into contact with a LGBTQ+ clinic and transgender center in my area, and thankfully they provided me what I needed in terms of my physical, legal and medical transition.

However, I still lacked a support system. I had no one I could turn to in my time of need. Even as a child I knew this, and I cried alone a lot. But as much as I wanted a family, I didn’t even know what that word meant. Or rather, I knew what it meant but didn’t know what it felt like. For a long time my family was the only definition I had of one. I figured I would just have to be strong and carry myself as best I could, as I had been caring for myself for so long. I had unknowingly already begun making my

first familial connection back on that Discord server.

It was there I would meet Lynn, and eventually, the rest of my Queer family.

Lynn uses xey/xem pronouns, which are conju gated the same as they/them/theirs. Xey are a royal pain in my ass, the bane of my existence and overall, an awful human being. I love xem to death and would gladly take a bullet for xem. When I first met Lynn, I was astounded by xeir whimsical personality. I had never met anyone like xem before. I learned Lynn had a rough childhood in Texas and were slowly healing from xeir time in an abusive household. Even though xey had so much wisdom and patience when deal ing with trauma and emotions of others, xey were only 19 when we first met. This is where it clicked for me. Here was someone who carried a lot of pain and wanted to help others because we knew how awful of a burden it was to carry alone.

I could let xem into my heart and xey would only care for me. I would eventually leave the transgen der Discord server and get invited to Lynn’s personal Discord server. It was there we continued to cultivate a bond. Here was someone who would love me and support me unconditionally. Likewise, I could only ever love xem for the wonderful human being xey are. If I have anyone by my side through the worst parts of my life, I would want Lynn there. Lynn became the first member of my Queer family and my life is forever better for it. Sometimes, these happenstance bonds lead to the greatest of unintended consequences in our lives, like how Alex and I became siblings.

Alex uses they/them pronouns. When we first met on the Discord server I thought they would be a troublemaker, so I kept an eye out. We spoke briefly as I tried to build a rapport with them to keep tabs on their behavior. This turned into regular conversations. I learned they were

a teenager who lived in an emotionally neglectful household and their parents would disown them if

“Even as a child I knew this, and many times, I cried alone. But as much as I wanted a family, I did not even know what that word meant.”

in a way an older sibling would. I cared for them and wanted to protect them from the difficulties they were expe riencing at such a young age. They told me that they and all their Queer friends had made plans in case their families discovered they were Queer and left them homeless.

To them it was just another facet of life, for me, it was a nightmare I feared. Their parents did not appreciate them like I did. I will always want to be the emotional support in their life because I know what it’s like to not have that support from my own childhood. I am proud to be Alex’s sibling because they chose me to be their sibling. With them, I started to understand what a chosen family meant. A Queer family that supports each other, and accepts those with nowhere else to turn.

Fae uses they/them pronouns and is the newest addition to my chosen family. Like the other members

lems and seemed to genuinely care for them. However, our time on the server was eventually cut short. Fae lost access to their only device able to access Discord and went radio silent for months. I was fearful for them how they would cope with losing the only supportive envi ronment they had in the midst of a highly abusive home environment. I hoped they would return some day, but a part of me couldn’t shake off that this could be the last time I would ever see them again. After Fae’s departure, I wanted to specialize in LGBTQ+ issues as a therapist because I never wanted anyone to go through what they were going through daily.

Months later, they resurfaced on another friend’s personal Discord server I was on and we re-estab lished communication. I told them how touched I was by their existence and offered to be a sympa

ian was both angering them and hurting their will to continue. I wanted to see them thrive and flourish. They recently got involved with Child Protective Services to get out of their abusive household, and we lost communication with them for months. I knew they would return eventually, but I grew worried and missed them. They would return after several months, and admitted they didn’t know if they would have a home to return to, nor if they would have the means to tell me everything. It was at this moment I realized how much I really meant to them. I wanted to be their family, since Fae and I shared the same pain of familial loss together. As long as I live, they will never have to go through that pain alone again.

After coming out as Queer, the bonds of family may quickly erode. However, that does not mean we are broken people for it. We are loving, strong and compassionate people who strive to overcome the burdens placed upon us. My chosen family has shown me what a true family is. We have come together by circumstance, but we became united by love and appreciation for who we are as individu als. That is what family is to me.

thetic ear. They were surprised by all the messages of support they received in their hiatus. Fae would

“My entire world had changed, and I knew I could no longer rely on my family for help.”

Crumbs-- their simple existence in liter ally any location in my home, misplaced and uncomfortable to be around; dried up glue sticks, full but useless, devoid of purpose and now utterly disposable-- just like the people whose hands hold them; something that’ll keep the used tissues and nail clippings company as they collect in the trash can; the moment right before the sun sets, before the sky turns pretty colors and all the lights come on when it’s almost okay but isn’t, when the threat of the impending night is more terrifying than the night itself; looking for someone in in the dark that you must hide in the light; never seeing the light.

PART 2

--Remembering the color of her bed sheets while my mother asks me about my day and me knowing full well that if I utter a single word I’ll cry; staying silent; shutting the doors and locking the closet while my mother asks me what I want for dinner at the same moment I see a car that looks just like hers drive by; saying “whatever you want”; want ing my mom to hug me but telling her “I’m not hungry,” instead.

BEHIND THE

22 West Media welcomes Madison Hoiby as the cover artist for our OUT-ober issue; here is a special interview with Hoiby about her back ground and process behind the piece.

Q: What is your background with art?

Madison Hoiby: I’m a third year student major ing in Psychology and minoring in Creative Writing. Though I don’t study art at CSULB, it’s a main hobby of mine and I would love for it to play a role in my life in the future in one way or another.

Q: What was your process with this piece?

MH: I always start off with painting in gouache, then throw what I have into Illustrator and Photoshop to make adjustments. It’s kind of

funny to say that I photoshop my artwork, but that’s basically what I do. I find painting phys ically, opposed to digitally, to be more free ing and creativity-evoking, so I like to start off with that. This piece in particular incorporates a lot of line work. With patterns, I try to find a method that works through trial and error, then eventually find a rhythm and grow from there. To make the maze pattern, I focused on making straight lines with the negative space. I like to focus on negative space because it’s more forgiving; it’s hard to paint the outline of a perfect circle, but it’s pretty easy to draw a square and fill in the corners enough to form a circle. Focusing on negative space lets me tweak things more and not lose my flow.

Q: Why did you make this piece?

MH: I wanted to incorporate a maze-like pattern to represent how confusing and nonlinear the coming-out process can be. I incorporated an array of paths— some longer and shorter, others more obvious and unclear— to display the varying degrees of difficulty one may have coming out. I wanted to display a more positive experience on the front, so I positioned two smiling figures as a focal point. On the back, however, I incorporated figures of various emotions to more explicitly communi cate how coming out isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience.

Q: I’d like to know more about your other art, how does this piece connect to the rest of your portfolio?

MH: I like playing around with patterns in all of my artwork, which I think shows in this piece. I usually like working with more curvy lines and polka dots, so the maze-like pattern I aimed to create here is a little more geometric than I’d usually go for.

Q: Who are your biggest art influences?

MH: Although her influence isn’t very preva lent in the cover, I’m a big fan of Yayoi Kusama. I love any artwork that can be described as meticulous, and she’s a prime example of that. It takes a special type of person to tediously create such clean, repetitive patterns, and I find that extremely admirable. I like the idea of someone sitting in front of a canvas for hours doing the same motion; essentially, making a name for themselves by doing something most people wouldn’t. I also really just like looking at polka dots.

I also find a lot of inspiration in American traditional tattoos, particularly for faces. Looking at popular flash tattoos helped me draw faces in a sort of formulaic way—I’ll always connect the nose to an eye or eyebrow and work from there.

HARRY’S OF FASHION

HOW THE FRUIT MAN TOOK OVER FASHION, INNIT?

ne musical performance led to a massive rise in the sale of the feather boa; according to fashion company PrettyLittleThing, the search for them world wide had gone up 1329%. Feather boas have become somewhat of a fashion statement, now used outside of your local wedding photo booth. This is all thanks to the global musi cal artist, part-time actor, English-accented, dreamy-looking, fashion icon, Harry Styles. He is everywhere, whether you want him to be or not, but then again who would not want to see the Mr. Styles? If you don’t, why is the question you might want to be asking yourself.

Styles opened for the 2021 Grammy awards in Los Angeles. He wore three custom looks by Gucci; all three outfits had one similar acces sory: a feather boa, the first green, the second lilac purple, and the third black. At this time, Harry Styles was on his first leg of his Love on Tour World Tour, and the fans who planned to go either changed their outfit or incorporated elements of the three outfits he had worn that night. All of the outfit changes included feather boas, which has been a popular choice that stuck, even now on his 2022 version of Love On Tour. His opening performance outfit was

HARRY’S HOUSE FASHION

Many of Harry Styles’ fans are inspired by how he dresses and expresses himself, this ends up being the largest source of inspiration for fashion whether it’s for one of his concerts or in their day-to-day lives. Harry’s discogra phy is strong with three albums and a theme in each, which granted him the fan-made nick name of “Fruit Man” due to Styles sharing a strong liking towards fruits. Many of his songs include references to fruit like “Watermelon Sugar,” “Kiwi,” “Cherry,” and “Grapejuice.” With this, many fans have based entire outfits on the fruits that connect to the titles of songs, whether it is a personal favorite or it fits the aesthetic. This has ranged from people dress ing as fruits or having embellished and bedaz zled fruits on their dresses, shirts, pants or whatever the clothing article may be.

Styles has been known for expressing a large amount of himself through clothes, constantly dressing in bright colors and loud, bold prints. He also has been publicly comfort able with blurring the line of what it means to

be “feminine” and “masculine.” He told Vogue in a 2020 interview “Anytime you’re putting barriers up in your own life, you’re just limit ing yourself. There’s so much joy to be had in playing in clothes.” He has definitely shown joy through his clothing, whether he is off stage or on stage working with stylist Harry Lambert, who helps with his eclectic styles. It must be noted he was not the first to do this with fash ion. There were many people before him such as Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen, and David Bowie, who have also had major impacts. Styles is also not the only person to do this in recent times, but he has been more visible due to his popu larity and success as a solo artist and his previous gig in the popular boy band One Direc tion. This could also be due to him being a cis-gen dered male, who has not confirmed or denied anything within his sexuality, due to this it can be seen more as a “progressive move” although it’s been done before by those listed who may have faced more criticism or scrutiny during a time where dressing more feminine was seen as “taboo.” This has allowed Styles and many others to be fully themselves.

Harry has become so much of a fashion icon that he was named a 2019 co-host of New York City’s Met Gala, the biggest night in fashion. It

is held on the first Monday in May every year. The Met Gala is an annual fundraiser gala that celebrates the costume department’s new exhibition. It’s considered the fashion event of the year; some say the importance of The Met Gala is comparable to being the fashion version of the Oscars, or even the “Superbowl” of the style industry. Celebrities, as well as nota ble people within their respective industries, whether it’s athletics, TV, film, and of course fashion can be invited to this event. Top celebri ties and socialites have the best custom gowns and suits with the theme changing annually, it leaves viewers guessing on what designers the attendees will be wearing as they walk up the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This was the first time Harry Styles had been invited to the Met Gala. He also co-chaired the event alongside Vogue’s editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, Serena Williams, Lady Gaga, and Gucci’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, who had given Styles a custom Gucci jumpsuit.

While one might ask themselves, “Does this fruit-loving man actually influence fash ion? Where is the proof?” The proof lies in the social media: the TikTok or Instagram posts of fans posting the inspiration they have for the outfit. It might be from a past performance outfit, an outfit Harry wore for an award show, or even a talk show. Many fans posting their outfits for the concert have had these outfits planned for months before. I planned an outfit in the past summer season for a Harry Styles concert that was in the fall season. In case you were curious, I thought my outfit was incredible. If someone wanted proof, all they would need to do is see the loose feath ers of hundreds of boas scattered on the floors of the arena after an amazing two-hour perfor mance by none other than the Harry Styles.

“Styles has been known for expressing a large amount of himself through clothes, constantly dressing in bright colors and loud, bold prints.”

Contributor List

Arielle Zepeda, Artist

Beatriz da Silva, Artist

Caroline Bae, Artist

E. Delgado Toldeo, Artist

Elsa Joellson, Photographer

Eleah Kang, Artist

Fabian Rubio, Photographer

Huy Tran, Photographer

Kiera Reeves, Artist

Madison Hoiby, Artist

Nina Walker, Artist

Phyke Soriano, Artist

Ariel Smith, Writer

Astrid I. Viera, Writer

Caroline Smith, Writer

Jacob Ingram, Writer

Jude Sampson, Writer

Kamryn Bouyett, Writer

Peter Villafañe, Writer

Sofia Carlos, Writer

Stacey Chen, Writer & Artist

Sierra Jackson, Writer

Vivien Gray Valoren, Writer