The Eye of the Beholder

“This evening, I came out of the front door of the house and it was raining. I stood for a few minutes lost in the beauty of it. Rain brings out the contours of what’s around you in that it introduces a blanket of differentiated and specialized sound which fills the whole of the audible environment. Instead of being isolated, cut off, preoccupied internally, you are presented with a world, you are related to a world, you are addressed by a world. Why should this experience strike one as beautiful? Cognition is beautiful It’s beautiful to know.”

In this extract from his acclaimed audio diaries first published in 1990, John Hull, the academic and theologian who started to go blind in his thirties, describes his experience of hearing rain falling. Despite being brought up in a sighted world, John learned to let his other senses take priority and to find beauty and contentment in alternative experiences. Today, we are bombarded with feeds of ‘beautiful’ images , but the beauty offered to us feels like it’s becoming more confined, reduced to something singular, pictorial and pleasing to the eye. Instagram, for example, has made us more concerned than ever with ours , and others’, outward appearance. Looking at something beautiful might once have brought pleasure and a sense of emotional well-being, but now it often brings anxiety, insecurity and self-hatred. Ladybeard interviewed several blind and visually impaired people to investigate how they define beauty, and to try to look beyond a sighted person’s automatic response that relates beauty to something both physical and visible. We spoke to people ranging in ages, backgrounds and life stories? A ten-year-old boy at school, a theatre director, a comedian, an archer. In these interviews, beauty becomes multi-sensory and connected to something are greater than one’s lame.

Tom Britton

When Tom was in his late teens and working as a chef, his hereditary eye disease became aggressive and it was confirmed that he would go blind. He’s lost all sight in his right eye and has 12 percent remaining in his left eye. He lives with his wife and their four children. What is your concept of beauty? When I could see, it was probably a typical pretty face, nice figure etc. But as my vision has deteriorated, it’s now more about connection or chemistry. I brought a picture of my wife with me, not to illustrate that she beautiful, but because she is beautiful to me. We’ve been together since we were 13. That right there is a beautiful connection in itself, and that has grown, as we’ve grown.

Daniel White

Daniel is ten years old and was born eight weeks premature an visually impaired. He can see a small amount: light and shadows and colour. What do you find beautiful? Objects that I can feel and touch. Small things mainly. Because I can keep them close to me and because my hands can explore the entirety of their body. . Tell me about a recent experience that struck you as beautiful. When I was given a glass octopus. I think it’s beautiful because it’s well made and it’s artistic and it’s detailed, and because my mum has described it to me and she says it’s beautiful. All of that gives me a relatively good idea of how beautiful it is. When someone says something is beautiful, what do you imagine? I imagine something smooth, sleek, well-polished and detailed.

Terry James

When Terry was nine years old, she was diagnosed with a genetic condition called stargate dystrophy which effects the central vision. In her thirties, she was re-diagnosed because her peripheral vision was also being affected. It’s a progressive condition which may eventually result in total blindness. What is your concept of beauty? I’ve been brought up in a sighted world and I’ve been told I’m quite a visual person. If I’m standing on the top of a hill and I’m aware that there is space around me and there is a view in front of me, I can imagine that view I can be around nature and feel the beauty of that: the feel of the fresh air. the sounds of the birds and cows, the tress rustling, the greenery. I still think in visual terms, but I am also learning to find beauty in other things. And in a person? I’ve been told my husband is good-looking, but I’m not aware of that I’m aware of his shape and his body but in terms of the details of his face, I couldn’t tell you if he was good-looking or not. I’m quite pleased when people comment on his good looks, even though I don’t know why it should matter to me. Does it say something about me perhaps? My husband is good-looking therefore he could attract a good-looking woman and he’s chosen me, so perhaps he thinks I’m good-looking. What makes someone attractive to me?

Kimberley Heal

Kimberley became visually impaired when she was eight years old. She is the eldest of five and two of her siblings have the same condition although their symptoms are different. Archery is Kimberley’s favourite hobby. When someone says someone is beautiful, how do you think they feel? Most of the time when people are talking about beauty, I feel there’s a bit of envy in there: it’s them longing for something else, or to be somewhere else or to be part of something else which they don’t feel that they have currently within them or around them. Sometimes it’s difficult for people to have sight of what they’ve got and they see beauty as something removed from them. How has your relationship to your sight changed? When I was a young teen, I was quite wayward, and I was depressed about life in general , but my sight as well I felt negative about it. But as I’ve grown up, I don’t think it’s such a bad thing and to be honest I think, now, if I could make my sight normal tomorrow just having an injection or taking a drug .I’m not sure that I would feel that comfortable It’s not such a big thing holding me back now , because my attitudes changed.

Maxine Plowden

Maxine was born with her sight loss. She doesn’t have a retina in her right eye, so she mostly sees with her left eye, which is also short sighted Her eyesight will always be stable—it will never get better or worse. She writes a blog and is currently job-hunting. What is your concept of beauty? There’s something very serene about the moon and the stars. I like the stars because I think there’s something more out there for us. If I’m near a river-the sound can be beautiful Chime bells are a beautiful sound to me, the ones that blow in the wind. Other people might find them annoying, but I find them beautiful. When someone says something is beautiful, what do you imagine? I imagine a feeling-something calm and relaxing. You can see something, and it can make you feel happy I find beauty in the way an experience makes me feel.

Bianca Von Stempel

Bianca is visually impaired and a recent fashion student from Kingston University. Her graduate women swear collection was braille-inspired and she is currently setting up her own clothes brand. Tell me about a recent experience which struck you as beautiful. Trying on clothes and being really fearlessly experimental with makeup. I love experimenting with mascara and eye-liner, even though they are tricky for me to apply. I’ve recently started to get my nails done, and just the experience of going into a salon and feeling like someone’s doing something for you is really wonderful. But also clothes, the textures of fabric. I love details, the shininess or maybe the slight touches of glitter in a garment. When you want to wear something and you put it on and it makes you feel amazing. I think that’ s a real sight of beauty. Reflecting you inside as well.

Tom Skelton

Maria Oshodi

Tom is a comedian who started to go blind on stage at The Edinburgh Fringe. What is your concept of beauty? I buy a lot of sandwiches from supermarkets and I always used to carefully choose the one I wanted. But now the writing’s far too small for me to read and it’s become quite a fun ritual to just pick one up at random. Then there can be a moment of beauty when you realize you’ve made a brilliant decision: a falafel and hummus wrap with chili sauce. Have there been moments since you lost your sight that you have found transformative? I’m thinking about turning points here in your relationship to your sight, or experiences that have changed the way you feel about going blind? I imagine a feeling-something calm and relaxing. You can see something, and it can make you feel happy I find beauty in the way an experience makes me feel. Having a romantic thing with somebody - that’s transformative. In the beginning, I was worried if anyone would be able to love a blind man. But I’ve realized people find it quite interesting romantically. Can you tell what I look like? “ is a question I’m often asked on a date I can see people; it just takes me longer to build up a picture of them. What someone can see in a glance, I can see after a while or a lot more looking.

Maria Oshodi is a writer and director and founder of Extant, a company pioneering theatre practice with the express inclusion of visually impaired performers and audiences. Tell me about a recent experience which struck you as beautiful. A friend of mines just got a new guide dog which met yesterday, and it’s always a surprise because you don’t get the visual before the feel: you get the feel first the unexpectedness of the moment made it beautiful When you see something, you have all sorts of assumptions that may or may not make you want to a sense. I can hear the dog, but my impression isn’t touch it-you already have an impression, an anticipate determined as someone seeing the dog, and so the experience of touching him is almost more intense It’s a real discovery. Does beauty have the power to move you in a meaningful way? Beauty makes you stop. It’s strangely symbiotic. Beauty is linked to things that are still and beauty forces you pause, to take in what you are seeing and to be present to the moment.