Saddleback Valley Magazine

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SUMMER 2017

MAGAZINE

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2 | S Magazine

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SUMMER 2017 | 3


PUBLISHER’S DESK

A Letter to Heaven BRADLEY WRIGHT founder/publisher

Alie Bishop

I'm not one much for death. I watched my mom die twice. Death crept up on one of my best friends in life, Shawn Seaman, from behind and stole him away from his three children at age 50. Satan did the same thing to his mother in her early forties. The problem with death is it has a perfect record. Alie Bishop was 80 when I met her. She looked like she was in her sixties. A picture of health, vibrance, fun and wit. She had this seductive smile. Her eyes gleamed with the same pattern. Quite frankly, Alie was sexy. Alie and I just blended with chemistry from the get go.

Alie and I at Fisherman's Restaurant

Shortly after I realized Alie had become one of my better friends, she was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B-cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. However, you could never tell by her attitude. Not once did I hear her complain through grueling treatments, her hair falling out, or as she began to show signs of escalated aging. No, the smile was still gleaming and the laughter was still flowing along with our talks and bottles of J Lohr Chardonnay shared among friends at the Fisherman's Restaurant. Of course, Alie beat death. Her hair grew back beautifully and she was spry again. The doctors said it was an absolute miracle there were no signs of the disease... Poof! Gone! The problem with death is it has a perfect record. A spitfire of a woman. I'm extremely confident my mother Wanda and Alie are pretty good friends up in heaven right now. Wanda was the ultimate spitfire. Wanda is the one still asking questions up there. And Thomas is telling Alie he likes Wanda's attitude. Alie, when we meet on the corner of Silver and Gold Street, bring Wanda with you.

Alie Bishop | November 16, 1922 - February 11, 2017

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My dear friend, we leave you with these three awesome poems my friend Laura Miller, author of A Book of Poems, offered just for you.

www.southcoastmagazine.com

There, among the ancient trees, brilliant in the flash of setting suns, illuminated by rising moons, the story of our beautiful Alie scrolls endlessly by. Memories gently wind through the landscape of our lives, sweetening each trial, every joy as our stories continue to merge, as our hearts forever entwine. – laura miller In the silent forests, upon the beckoning slopes, in bracing winds, under scorching suns, we test muscles and labor lungs to rise to that place we dare long for from the valley floor. The ecstasy is the same, climbing or dreaming, for it is not the determined body that travels but the intrepid soul. – laura miller

In the cool of the night, we will meet in dreams, in those narrowest of spaces where earth dissolves into sea. When yearning rises to the heavens, we will find each other. We will meet forever, each time as the first time, in those moments suspended in infinity. – laura miller


INSIDE S MAGAZINE

FEATURES

09 BOOK OF POEMS

Local San Clemente author, Laura Miller, recently launched her latest book of poetry, "Chopping Wood / Carrying Water."

22 ECHO CART SERVICES

Brothers, Eric and Greg not only maintain fleets of local golf carts, they also provide same-day home repairs, along with building and customizing dream carts.

DEPARTMENTS

09 UP CLOSE WITH GLORIA

06 TLC SUMMER CAMP

34 A LIFE IN THE SURF

16 BEACH SCENE

39 HUMAN TRAFFICKING

30 LIVE LIKE NICK

23

32 CELEBRITY CRUISES

SC interviews Gloria Allred, a distinguished lawyer who handles highprofile discrimination and civil rights cases.

Often described as “the court painter” for the world's surfing elite, Art Brewer is known for his mastery of surf photography.

The i-5 Freedom Network continues to bring awareness of modern-day slavery, also known as human trafficking to the local Orange County communities.

FITNESS & FUN

ROCCO'S RESTAURANT Flaming Sundays Rack of Lamb, Martini Mondays, TNT Tuesdays and Wednesday Veal Specials.

S Magazines / 949.498.0705

The Learning Connection is a positive alternative for working parents in need of quality child care. TLC offers full-time summer camp with exciting excursions.

San Clemente local, Tory Gilkerson, wins the 2016 Women's World Longboard Championship.

The Annual 5k Run/Walk will be held on Sunday, August 27th on the campus of San Clemente High School with all proceeds to benefit local student athletes.

Travel with Celebrity back in time to the magical islands that enchanted Charles Darwin and inspired his studies.

SUMMER 2017 | 5


schmitt SC FEATURE

mark COLLEGE BOUND PROGRAM

L to R: Fatima Gomez, Giselle Paniagua and Guy Ittidecharchoti.

Karmen Canizales

Mark Schmitt was a long-time board member of the Boys & Girls Club of the South Coast Area in San Clemente. Mark had a long and successful career at Assurant Group in Santa Ana, but he never had the opportunity to complete a four-year college degree. Through Mark’s volunteer work at the Boys & Girls Club, he placed tremendous energy into providing local kids with an opportunity to do well in school and advance to college. Mark passed away in early 2015, and the Club felt it was a fitting honor to remember him by naming the agency’s college prep program in his memory. The Mark Schmitt College Bound is a program that seeks to serve first generation college aspirants in the college admissions process. Furthermore, stu-

6 | S Magazine

dents are introduced to the world of work

and finals preparation. Not only do the

by learning critical hard and soft skills that

students get help with college planning,

they will need to find and keep jobs.

but once a month, Boys & Girls Club staff

In addition to one-on-one student mentoring, College Bound includes weekly group workshops that focus on topics to get participants thinking about their future and

reach out to local community professionals who come in and share their expertise in their profession that cater to the interests of the students.

the variety of options available to them.

Another major component of College

They learn about being self-motivated, fac-

Bound is the hands-on experience of

ing their fears, and developing goals and a

touring colleges and universities. Recently,

plan. Twice a week a retired San Clemente

students had the opportunity to visit Cali-

High School AVID teacher, Nikki Budde,

fornia State University, San Marcos and

leads workshops for the College Bound

California State University, Long Beach

students to prepare them for college and

where they were given guided tours and

career readiness. For example, she helps

a special preview of a play in the theatre

the students on ACT/SAT preparations,

department. Also, during the first year

scholarship availability, and applications

of the program, they visited Point Loma

www.southcoastmagazine.com

TO INSPIRE AND ENABLE ALL YOUNG PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO NEED US MOST, TO REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL AS CARING, RESPONSIBLE, PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS.


TEENS LEARN ABOUT BEING SELF-MOTIVATED AND DEVELOPING GOALS AND A PLAN.

COLLEGE BOUND IS THE HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE OF TOURING COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES.

A Friendship Honored by Brianna Wright

Harrison Manolovitz, Bianca Medina and Samantha Miranda sitting in front of the E. James Brotman Hall at CSULB.

Saddleback Math Professor, Christy MacBride-Hart and Evelyn Padilla.

Samantha Miranda, Jacob Vazquez, Bianca Medina and Harrison Manolovitz getting a taste of the South at the Southeastern Universities Conference at the Hilton in Irvine.

Nazarene University and the University of San Diego with tours of the campuses and a review of programs offered. Later in 2017 the students will be visiting UCLA and USC. In the spring of 2017, College Bound students had an opportunity to attend a

college environment.

B&G CLUB HAS TOUCHED TENS OF THOUSANDS OF LOCAL YOUTH OVER THE PAST HALF CENTURY. parameters of College Bound including

Now completing its second year, the Mark Schmitt College Bound program has expanded from ten to twenty students with the majority of them being the first one in

volunteering to work with the younger children in the Club. She has been accepted into over ten colleges around the United States and has chosen to attend, California State University, Fullerton.

local conference in Irvine presented by

their family to attend college. For instance,

the Southeastern Conference Universities,

Lucy Vega, our first-year College Bound

The College Bound staff and volunteers

such as Auburn University, Texas A&M and

senior was the first in her family to go on

are continuously welcoming and recruiting

University of Alabama.

to post-secondary education. She is cur-

new students into the program. It is a criti-

rently attending Grand Canyon University

cal aspect of the Boys & Girls Club mission

majoring in Forensic Science.

to develop each student into a competitive

in campus life as well as entrance

The program has exceeded all expecta-

receiving more information on how to get

requirements and programs offered. This

tions with one current graduating senior,

involved, take a tour or make a donation,

experience gives them the opportunity to

Yesenia Martinez. She was voted as the

please contact Allen Reese, Chief Profes-

explore what may be best suited for their

2016 Youth of the Year at the Boys & Girls

sional Officer, at allen@bgcsca.org or

future as well as envision themselves in the

Club where she fulfilled all the program

(949) 484-0199.

These visits allow the students to see differences between schools, both

college candidate. If you are interested in

S Magazines / 949.498.0705

It is a friendship that reminds one of Joe Namath and Don Maynard of the New York Jets — who cares which one was the quarterback. Ray Taccolini and Mark Schmitt just had a way that they connected. It didn't matter if it was socially around the town of San Clemente, professionally at the Boys and Girls Club or fundraising at Our Savior’s Lutheran; they connected. They made things happen. Fun, you ask? If you want to have a good time — go to the Lakers game with Ray and Mark, then hit the House of Blues after Robert Horry drained a three-point-shot to win the game and basically steal the championship from the lowly franchise of the Sacramento Kings. If they surfed, they would have won the world’s tandem championship. There are friendships and relationships that just work, and this was truly one of them. Their love for the San Clemente Boys and Girls Club has led to the accelerated growth of the College Bound Program. In fact, Mark was involved in many capacities at the Boys and Girls Club for over 25 years and served on the Board of Directors for 15 plus years. After the untimely passing of Mark in 2015, Ray funded The Mark Schmitt College Bound Program in honor of his best friend’s legacy. Located in the San Clemente Boys and Girls Club Teen Center, the program provides a safe environment for learning, as well as a college entrance platform. A handful of the students are from under-privileged families and most are first generation college applicants and hopefully, first generation college graduates.

www.bgcsca.org (949) 492-7551 1304 Calle Valle San Clemente, CA 92672 SUMMER 2017 SUMMER 2017 | 7| 7


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SC UP CLOSE

Bradley Wright

WITH GLORIA ALLRED If there are no consequences, or consequences that are not proportionate to the battery that has been inflicted, then there’s no incentive to stop the violence. Gloria, first of all thank, you for understanding the situation with my daughter and the Holy Hush in Dallas. We appreciate all that your staff has done and taking the time to help us bring Brianna and Harlyn back home to the love and support of family and friends. Our entire family wants to thank you and your staff for taking the time to listen. Specifically Patty, I know she worked extremely hard to get us together over these last several months. With your Cosby and Trump battles and my flying and driving back and forth to Dallas, it seemed like it may never happen. Thanks to Patty's persistent demeanor for bringing us together. WRIGHT: So, I thought I would start with a little history of you protecting women and their rights all these years. How long have you been practicing? ALLRED: I’ve been practicing about 41 years. WRIGHT: In those 41 years you had Nicole Brown-Simpson’s family as a client, arguably one of the most thrilling and documented murder cases in history. In addition, you had Roe vs. Wade, which

in my opinion is surely one of the most controversial and confrontational cases regarding women's rights. I’m sure this was a huge one for your career. Was there a favorite case you’ve experienced over the years? ALLRED: I would say my favorite case was my last case, my present case, and my next case. Basically, all my cases and all my clients. They’re all important to me, and I care about the individuals involved, not just the case. They're human beings who have many challenges they’re facing, and I’m there to be supportive of them and to help them win as much justice as possible under our imperfect set of laws and our imperfect justice system. WRIGHT: Well, here is a question you may or may not be comfortable answering. ALLRED: You can ask me anything and everything. WRIGHT: In this case, I know you have direct involvement which is why I qualified the question. Bill Cosby. I first encountered Bill Cosby on a Sunday night,

when I was ten years old in Inglewood, California, at my grandma's. She had the television on "I Spy," and I was mesmerized. Fat Albert, Saturday mornings, Bill Cosby sold me on Jell-O, Dr. Huxtable! Were you surprised with the Bill Cosby deal and the accusations against him? ALLRED: Well, you’re describing what many women experienced, which is in their lives whether or not they’re involved with someone named Bill Cosby. I’ll just speak in general; often it’s kind of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. With Mr. Cosby, many people alleged that it was Dr. Huxtable, which is a character played on his television show, and the real Bill Cosby. When women began to approach me about Bill Cosby, many of them not knowing each other, they were alleging very similar types of facts as to what they had experienced with Mr. Cosby. As I looked at what they alleged occurred, where it occurred, and when it occurred, I was able to conclude that, unfortunately, the statute of limitations, which is the arbitrary time period set by law, is different in every state. Different for example: abuse by an adult against another adult

S Magazines / 949.498.0705

vs. abuse by an adult of a child. Different time periods are set by law, and for most of those women, it was too late either to file a civil lawsuit against him or even too late to have a district attorney prosecute the case, even if the district attorney, based on the facts they shared with him or her, concluded that the case could be concluded beyond any reasonable doubt. In other words, the statute of limitations was a bar that prevented them from having a legal action to exercise. But they wanted to speak out. They wanted to say what they said was 'their truth.' And of course, there is no statute of limitations on speech. If one knows the risk and wants to weigh the risk against the benefit and concludes that one wants to speak out, then, of course, that person has the right to do so. So the women decided they wanted to speak out, and they did. Then suddenly the district attorney of Montgomery County in Pennsylvania decided to file a criminal case, the only one in the country against Bill Cosby at the time it was filed, and within the statute of limitations in Pennsylvania. And CONTINUED PAGE 32

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SUMMER 2017 | 9


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SC FEATURE

local author launches a

Book of Poems by Laura Miller

choppin

g wood c

O

water arrying

ver the 25 years that I have been serious about writing, I’ve met many poets. They all have a different answer to the question, “How do you do it?” I wrote my first poem in a 8th grade English class and have been hooked ever since. It is only in the past ten years, however, that I understand how I do it.

Very few of my poems are planned. Many get their start in lines from my journal or random thoughts, observations and quotes that I jot down in a notebook or on my phone. Most finish in a place I had no idea I was headed. I write to explain myself to myself, to celebrate, express gratitude, to observe, to find meaning. By the time a piece reaches you, it has been reworked and rewritten numerous times. The original intent grows and changes as I begin to understand what my heart and mind are trying to show me. Poetry is a partnership, the product of a writer’s inspiration and a reader’s interpretation. When I read, I like to know about the author and their intent, but the real power of any work is what happens to me each time I read it. I share my work because I am excited to hear what it means to you.

r a m il le r m s b y la u e o p f o k a boo

Poetry is just the evidence of life —Leonard Cohen 14 | S Magazine

I rarely revisit a novel or work of nonfiction, no matter how much I enjoyed it. But I will read a poetry book many times because it is new each time I open it. I can spend hours finding meaning or I can dip in and out for a quick pick-me-up or a calm-me-down. For me, poetry does more than incite a response, it is an invitation to explore my own constantly evolving emotions. A poem is like an iceberg, what you see is nothing compared to what is hidden. Go deep, plumb the depths. Curiosity will get

you past any preconceived notions about what poetry is and isn’t and whether or not you like it. This is how I read a poem and how I hope you might read mine. • Just read it. Don’t think too much. • Read out loud. Listen for the music. Hear the repeating sounds and rhymes at the end of lines and within the stanzas. Look for the pauses. Commas and line breaks are the breath of the text. Look for spaces, what is not said. • Read it with a pen. Mark words and references that stick with you. They are deliberate and important to the poet’s message. Look up anything that is unfamiliar and write that information in a margin or on an inside cover. • Read it again. Allow the words and images to soak in. This time don’t consider the poet, notice what comes up for you. • Now you are ready to wonder what prompted the writer to share this message, in these words, in this setting. This is when you ask Who and Why. May you wonder and wander for years on the personal journeys you find in the books and pages you mark up and make your own. If you are already writing, may you continue to enjoy the fruits of your labor. If you think you can’t write, for goodness sake, put pen to page. We are all waiting for your message.

Chopping Wood/Carrying Water a book of poems by Laura Miller is available at http://bit.ly/2otjLVI

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This Is How the Wind... This is how the wind whistles through a four chambered heart as if it were no more than a low desert landscape.

A Poem A poem has oracular magic even if you don’t know what that means A poem is not a riddle to be solved A poem is experience A poem is imagination A poem is free at least as free as the poet A poem is autobiography no matter what the poet tells you A poem tells the truth best when it attempts to lie

Dreams and desires whip into dust devils that put on quite a show but, in the end, come to nothing. Regrets pile into ever drifting dunes that block roadways, bury homes and overtake the fences erected to contain them. The flying grit of sand-sharp memories inflame eyes relieved only by a flash flood of tears. Old loves become heat ghosts rising from an oasis mirage, shimmering and flashing before disappearing into reality .

Tongues of Fire please read my poems aloud in whispers or shouts deadpan or ringing with inflection please read my poems aloud to one another, to a crowd, to steal a moment, even to ridicule me please read my poems aloud at least to yourself when alone in whatever voice you hear them please read my poems aloud that you, as the apostles speaking in tongues, free the obscured messages —laura miller

My poems and I seem to have lost certainty. We are now operating on hunches We both feel much freer. Hunches leave room for mystery and falling in love. —laura miller

—laura miller

A Black Hole

A poem always has a secret —laura miller

Hunches

A Mother A Mother is someone who suffers cardiac arrest from her children's broken hearts. A Mother is someone who has no time for fear She is too busy dreaming her children’s nightmares. A Mother is someone who bleeds through her children’s wounds.

a completely collapsed object whose gravity remains detectable only in that it is not it’s absence is it’s presence an insatiable hunger in the midst of the reaching arms of spiraling galaxies a phantom attraction that entices hearts ever closer to the deceptive vortex of a benign memory objects of gravity and light circle the void, held in place by the monotony of push and pull the uncertainty of the certainty of what is not

A Mother is someone who ages gently in the arms of her younger self. —laura miller

S Magazines / 949.498.0705

Laura Miller Laura was born in Cleveland, Ohio and relocated to Upland, California in 1982. She moved to an old ranch in the foothills above Claremont and currently lives on the coast in San Clemente. An eighth grade homework assignment led to Laura's first attempt at writing poetry and established a lifelong passion. An invitation to share her work at Tebot Bach convinced Laura that she enjoys reading her poems to a group as much as she enjoys writing them. Her work has appeared in business journals and newsletters as well as magazines, including The Sun, For You Magazine, Somerset Art Journaling and runs frequently in San Clemente Life Magazine. Author and Publisher, Mary Ann Easley has included Laura's poetry in her latest book, Into the Light: Journaling for Optimal Change. An experienced personal and professional development consultant, Laura also facilitates art journaling workshops.

The first time I heard Laura Miller read a poem she wrote was during a silent retreat. I immediately felt that she captured and named my experience as well as her own, then painted it with words. She conveyed something about the silence that deepened my relationship with it. Laura's poetry is a bridge, extending from her soul, that takes you to the heart of the matter.   – Gail Warner, MFT Founder of Pine Maner Retreat Center

—laura miller Laura Miller's delivery is what is most compelling to the reader who affords the time to discover her cleverness. These poems are whimsical, idiosyncratic, subtle and creative. The perfect blend of romance, curiosity and humor.   – Brad Wright Founder/Publisher SouthCoast Magazine

909-225-5970 lmskills1@mac.com SUMMER 2017 | 15


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“The CUSD Honors Concert is an annual event that has been taking place for over 30 years,” said Neil Anderson, CUSD coordinator of Visual and Performing Arts programs. “This is the second year the event was held at the Segerstrom Concert Hall.” The hall has seating for about 2,000 audience members. According to Anderson, the hall is a very special place and it was an honor for the students to be able to perform there. “The Segerstrom Concert Hall is a world-class concert venue. They have built the concert hall as a space where now the best orchestras from around the world come and play,” he said. “The whole hall was an amazing setting to play at. It was such an honor,” said Declan Hayworth, violinist and student from San Juan Hills High School.

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Five talented groups of students performed in the Segerstrom hall, three from the middle school level and two from the high school level. Between them, a total of 14 songs were played. “There were no awards or ratings,” said Anderson. “The event was strictly for the honor of performing in the hall and being recognized as some of the best musicians CUSD has to offer.” To be selected to play in the concert, the students had to audition in January of this year. In addition, the first chair for every instrument had to be chosen during this audition as well. “Students audition in a one-on-one environment and are scored on how well they play their scales, audition piece, and a short sight-reading piece,” said Anderson. “Sight-reading is when they see a short excerpt for the first time and are asked to perform it after only a few minutes.” “What’s really cool is that at the end of the performance, you can just see people standing up and clapping for you,” said Jordan Edwards, clarinet player of six years. “It’s a really great feeling.”


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*Child must be 2 years old, but does not have to be potty trained.

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Mommy & Me

A hands-on learning experience for toddlers and their parents (or grandparents). Enjoy interactive experiences in art, music, language and movement with your child. Activity centers will develop math, science, speech and language skills. Ages: 18-30 months Day: Mon or Thurs Tuition: $180/10 weeks

Offering Preschool, Pre K and Grades K-5th SABTS Preschool is open to all. Families do not need to be members of St. Andrew’s to enroll their children.

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SC LIVING WE REFINE OUR GOLF CARTS TO A TEE!

WE ALSO CUSTOMIZE GOLF CARTS. IF YOU CAN THINK IT, WE CAN BUILD IT. Story by: Michael Afuso, Publisher Best Version Media Photography by: Michelle Adams

Eric and Greg Tammelin of Echo Cart Services are enjoying the sunshine, ocean breezes and are truly living the Southern California dream! Brothers, Eric and Greg, were born and raised in Southern California and have lived in San Clemente for over thirty years. Growing up, Eric wanted to be a pilot and Greg wanted to be a veterinarian. Eventually, Eric graduated Embry Riddle Aeronautical University in Prescott, AZ with a Bachelor's Degree in Business. Greg graduated California State University, San Marcos with a Bachelor's Degree in Business. Eric and Greg share the love of hobbies such as golfing (of course), surfing, and hiking. But what they love most is working together to build and grow their business. Located in San Clemente and in busi-

ness since 2009, Echo Cart Services maintains the fleet at many local businesses. Among these are San Clemente Municipal Golf Course, Monarch Beach Resort, San Clemente High School and Montage Resort. They provide mobile golf cart repair to customers in Dana Point, San Clemente, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Mission Viejo, San Juan Capistrano, and surrounding Orange County cities. They offer repairs for all makes of golf carts including Ford Think and Gem cars. They also rent golf carts and street legal golf carts. An added convenience is that they can be at your home for repairs the same day if necessary! Eric says, "We also customize golf carts. If you can think it, we can build it." Eric explains, "We take pride in our work. We started doing mobile repairs out of our garage apartment seven years ago. Slowly we earned enough to get a shop

space and buy golf carts for our rental fleet." The brothers say their biggest inspiration has been being a ground up business. They are not afraid of hard work and exceptional customer service is of paramount importance to them. Eric tells us, "New opportunities and hurdles arise every week, so it is challenging, but fun." He recounts how they got into the business, "It all started working for Dave Cook at San Clemente Municipal Golf Course. The golf cart repair guys were charging Dave a lot of money so we took courses from golf cart manufacturers and learned from trial and error and became golf cart mechanics. Slowly we grew from that golf course and landed Monarch Beach Resort as a contract to work on their golf carts and mainly their shuttles that take guests to the beach. From there, we gained various other contracts and continued doing mobile golf cart repairs for individuals. We have always sold golf carts as well. We are an authorized pre-owned Ezgo dealership." As for what they like most about their job, they love the creativity behind building custom golf carts and doing custom paint jobs. They also love a good challenge in diagnosing a golf cart and the satisfaction of solving the problem. They also enjoy working with each other and their friend and fabricator whose nickname is Big Joe.

22 | S Magazine

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A testament to their likability and honesty, they are among the elite businesses who can claim a FIVE-STAR Yelp rating. Reviewer Dale M. of San Clemente had this to say: "I had a problem with a Gem Car today and went to EchoCart Repair and after about 10 minutes they found a short in the wiring and fixed it at no charge. These guys are the best and so honest and I would send anyone to them...keep up the great work." Maureen S. of Dana Point says: "Outstanding cart service and customer service. They did a wonderful job with pickup, delivery and repairs. Reasonable rates too. Very nice & polite young men. They were organized, prompt, skilled, and communicated well. Highly recommend them!" Offering a glimpse into just how wonderful these two brothers are, they had this to say when asked if they had a special message to share, "We love our Mom very much and would like to thank her for her support. She raised us two boys and our two sisters so she was a very busy mom." Of all the things they could have said, that is what meant the most to them to be able to share. Call Echo Cart Services the next time you need anything golf cart related – trust us, you'll be glad you did! 949-636-8899 www.echocartservices.com


Private Luxury Lodge wit h magnificent forever views of ski slopes and t he Lake For board and ski enthusiasts, Birch Bear is only three minutes to Bear Mountain and ten minutes to Snow Summit. Relax inside by the fire and watch skiers coming down the slopes, or check out the food and night life in the Village.

Experience Birch Bear Lodge at Big Bear Lake

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Reservations & Information 24 | S Magazine

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Nestled amongst the pines trees, Birch Bear Lodge beckons with unobstructed 180º views of Bear Mountain, the Lake and the twinkling lights on Snow Summit. This 2,250 sq. ft. private home features a cozy wood burning fireplace, a well-stocked granite kitchen, large living room, luxury mountain décor, new carpeting, two large private decks — soak in the Spa with color-changing lights, or catch the sun rays and a spectacular sunset. Guests also have a carpeted separate Studio/ game room with pool and ping-pong table. Flat screen TV (TV and DVD player in most bedrooms with expanded cable channels.) The Lodge accommodates up to 7 guests.

Just a few hours from LA and Orange County...Birch Bear is a world away and the perfect place for a luxury escape! www.southcoastmagazine.com


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SUMMER 2017 | 25


SC HEALTH If it has been awhile since you’ve sat in that oh-so-comfortable dental chair, there are many updates and advances in dentistry for helping you achieve a healthy and natural-looking smile.

Dental Implants

Twenty years ago, when we lost a tooth, the usual options for replacing the tooth were a dental bridge or a removable partial denture. Today, the dental implant is the standard of care for replacing a lost tooth. A dental implant is surgically placed within the jawbone and, over the course of a few months, is designed to fuse to the bone. The dental implant essentially replaces the root of a missing tooth and a dental crown is placed on top of it to appear like a natural tooth. Although modern dental implants have been in use since the 1970’s, improvements in technique and design have made it the preferred option for dentists. Implants have a high rate of success (close to 98%) and their longevity can span a lifetime. Additionally, implants are conservative in that no other teeth are affected in replacing a missing tooth. Lastly, implants have the feel (or “proprioception”) of natural teeth when we chew because they are anchored in bone.

26 | S Magazine

Advances in Dentistry Composite Fillings

Digital Dentistry

All-Porcelain Crowns

Other digital-based dental applications include CAD/CAM (computer-aided design/ computer-aided manufacturing) technology for the fabrication of dental restorations. This means that dental crowns can be made in the office while you wait.

Although silver mercury filling material (also known as amalgam) is still in use, toothcolored filling material called “composite resin” has become the preferred material of choice for most dental fillings. Aside from the benefit of esthetics, this material has the additional benefit of a mechanical bond to teeth. This “bonding” effect allows for better adhesion of the filling material to the tooth as well as provides a more cohesive tooth that is, in some ways, “glued” together. This benefit also allows for a more conservative filling by needing to remove only decayed or damaged tooth structure whereas with amalgam fillings, the prepared space needs to be deep enough to keep the material from falling out. If you have to get a crown, the hope is that it leaves your tooth much stronger and better-looking. For a long time, the most natural-looking crown that provided a precise fit was made of metal or gold with porcelain baked (or “fused”) on top called a porcelain-fused-to-gold (PFG) crown. It isn’t perfect because it does not have a life-like translucency and there is sometimes a black line that is visible at the gumline due to the underlying metal/gold. With the development of newer material, we now have metal-free crowns that are highly esthetic and strong.

Now that we are well into the Digital Age where computers and other devices are the norm, dentistry has also kept up with the times. Digital X-rays have multiple advantages over conventional dental X-rays. The amount of radiation required for digital X-rays is lower than conventional film X-rays. Additionally, the image captured is instantaneously displayed on the computer screen for the dentist and patient to review and discuss. Furthermore, because the image is digital, a copy can be easily transferred or stored.

or cavities during their visit. Additionally, gum disease is a risk factor to heart disease. An individual with gum disease is almost twice as likely to have heart disease. Because heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women in the United States, controlling gum disease could have marked effects on one’s total health. Although research has yet to conclude that one causes the other, there is a growing body of evidence that gum disease is linked to heart disease. If we think of the mouth as the gateway to the body, it is not too far-fetched to think that it can affect our body as a whole. Simply put, good dental heath should go hand in hand with our total well-being.

Knowledge Base

Through study and research over the years, we have more of an understanding of how to prevent and treat dental disease. Studies show that the incidence of dental decay has declined steadily over the years. The major factors attributable to this are a more dentally-educated population and the use of fluoride. Prevention is a large part of dental care that takes place everyday at home and during dental visits. It is very common today to see kids and adults in the dental chair that have no existing fillings

www.southcoastmagazine.com

Donna S. Bautista, DDS General & Cosmetic Dentistry Dental Health and Wellness for the Family

949.226.7222

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Family Resource Centers

Our Family Resource Centers offer information and resource services, case management support, application assistance for health care programs such as Medi-Cal, Covered California and CalFresh (Food Stamps), individual and family mental health services, first time home buyer and housing information, domestic violence and legal advocacy services, child and teen workshops, and parenting classes.

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Programs and services at the CHEC and SOC Family Resource Centers are funded in part through Families and Communities Together (FaCT). FaCT receives funding from federal, state and county agencies including U.S. Department of Health and Human Services-Promoting Safe and Stable Families, Office of Child Abuse Prevention, California Emergency Management Agency, the County of Orange, as well as volunteer in-kind support and private donations. FaCT is a program administered by the County of Orange Social Services Agency, in partnership with the FaCT Coalition of Charitable Ventures of Orange County, The Olin Group and the Orange County Alliance for Children and Families.

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The LiveLikeNick 5k Run/Walk will be held on Sunday, August 27th on the campus of San Clemente High School. 30 | S Magazine

The run is open to anyone, of all ages, to participate in a fun and healthy way and help contribute to The Nick Pasquale Foundation and San Clemente High School Athletics. We will be running to honor the memory of Nick Pasquale, an outstanding SCHS student athlete, and UCLA football player, whose life was cut short in a tragic accident on Sept. 8, 2013. As we approach the four-year anniversary of his passing, we have an opportunity to show our support for his family and remember the way Nick lived, with a passion for life and a competitive spirit. The proceeds from last year’s race were used to fund scholarships for three SCHS student athletes ($2500 each), as well as $2500 to Triton Pop Warner Football and Cheer and 5% to SCHS Athletics (all programs).

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SUMMER 2017 | 31


Gloria Allred

INTERVIEW

Women will no longer be silent when they suffer injustices against them. the victim, or alleged victim, was Andrea Constand, who gave permission for her name to be used. That case is now pending; it is scheduled to begin trial on June 5th in Montgomery County. Andrea will testify, and the prosecutor wants to call 13 other accusers. The prosecutor indicated to the Court that he, that is the police department, had interviewed over 50 accusers of Bill Cosby. WRIGHT: In Pennsylvania? ALLRED: Well, they weren’t all in Pennsylvania, but law enforcement in Montgomery County interviewed more than 50 accusers who were all over the country. I represented 33 of them. The prosecutor said to the court, I would like to call 15 of the 50 to the witness stand as part of my case against Mr. Cosby. The defense argued you shouldn’t be able to call any other accuser other than the person who is alleged to be the victim. It was decided that one, and only one could be called. WRIGHT: And what was different about this one? ALLRED: She was called victim #6. Or what she's actually called is ‘prior bad act witness #6.’ I happened to represent that person. So, she is testifying in this case and will be a key witness since only one other is permitted to testify. Under Pennsylvania law, the prosecution would have to show that she would testify and would tend to prove a common plan, scheme or

32 | S Magazine

desire — a modus operandi, called a M.O., or absence of mistake. In other words, the issue in the People vs. Cosby case is: ‘Is Mr. Cosby guilty of aggravated, indecent sexual assault?’ There are three felonies he’s charged with. Mr. Cosby has previously indicated that he was with Andrea Constand, that he did provide drugs to Andrea Constant (three pills), that she consented to sexual activity and that he did digitally penetrate her. So, the issue is consent. Now under Pennsylvania law, the prosecutor can seek to call it absence of mistake. In other words, if the prosecutor can prove that Mr. Cosby had a plan to scheme or design to incapacitate women by drugging them or providing alcohol or both, such that they could not be in a position to consent, to say yes or no, then that would be a criminal act if he incapacitated them and then engaged in sexual conduct with them. So this prior bad act witness, accuser #6, would tend to prove if they, the jury, believed what she had to say, that Mr. Cosby engaged in similar conduct or misconduct with her and that he could not have been mistaken about whether Andrea consented or not if he was engaging in a plan to incapacitate women through the use of drugs and then engage in sexual activity. WRIGHT: Is this why the witness was allowed to testify? Was there some sort of pattern with her and the victim? ALLRED: That’s a good question, and the judge did not say in his order, in which he said the prosecution could call prior bad act witness #6, why the prosecutor could call her but not the other 12 the prosecutor sought to call. I’d rather not speculate. I’m happy that one was called. There have been many, many battles in this case to try to get it to trial. For example, Mr. Cosby did not want his deposition from the prior civil case filed by Andrea Constand to be allowed into evidence. This Is where he admits to obtaining prescriptions for drugs, I think he said seven prescriptions, with the intent to have sexual contact with women. Of course, he didn't say whether he gave the drugs to the women with their knowledge or consent. His attorney objected when that question was asked of him, because of course if he said it was without their knowledge and consent that would be a criminal act. But I’m saying he doesn't even want that in. And then comes the question will Mr. Cosby even take the witness stand at trial. I doubt it. However, if his deposition is admitted into evidence, he did testify

under oath in that, and so the jury can hear his own words if he doesn’t take the witness stand. Further, Mr. Cosby gave an interview to the police on Andrea Constand years ago. The first DA did not prosecute, but now a new DA did. So his police interview will come into evidence. It’s going to be a very interesting trial. WRIGHT: How long was the police interview? ALLRED: Well, I don’t know the length of it. There’s a lot going on in that case and looks as though it is going to take place in June. WRIGHT: You said socially convicted, that's for sure, right? ALLRED Well, in the court of public opinion, I think that many people do believe the women and do feel that something happened. But that doesn't mean he can’t get a fair trial. The jurors will be asked to put this aside and look at this case only through the evidence

Most people want accountability...they want the wrongdoer or perpetrator of the victim to be accountable! that is introduced in the courtroom and not anything that has been produced on television or on the internet or the radio or any place else. And he is a celebrity. People have the view of him like you said earlier, which is: ‘Wow, what a respected father figure he was," one of the most popular people on television, who had this very positive image, proof of which is he was doing Jell-O ads, and that means he had a very high Q rating, which means he was very popular with the public. So anyway, that’s a very interesting and important case, an unusual case. And, is he a saint or is he a sinner? Is he just a typical citizen or is he a sexual predator? That’s going to be for the jury to decide, if he’s innocent or guilty, acquitted or guilty. WRIGHT: I’m still amazed that for so many years he could hide that behavior, that persona who he really is. Seems like we have the Holy Hush in Dallas and the Hollywood Hush in Hollywood. ALLRED: Well, there’s an allegation out there that he may have entered into confidential settlements.

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WRIGHT: Which you’ve done with your clients, right. Is it your job to make sure they’re satisfied? ALLRED: I help to obtain the goal that my client wishes to obtain and that she believes is the best for her after she hears the options from me and the benefits and the risks. In some cases, it’s to have a confidential settlement. WRIGHT: You’re telling us we have legal justice and we have the hush money financial justice? ALLRED: Well, most people want accountability of some type. They want the wrongdoer, the sexual predator, the perpetrator, the battery, or whatever wrong has been inflicted on the victim, the victim wants him, whoever that person is, to be accountable. Now there are different ways to achieve accountability. One might be a financial settlement - the perpetrator pays the victim whatever she needs to recover from the wrong that’s been afflicted on her. So that would be the civil justice system. Another might be through the criminal justice system, where the perpetrator, if it's a criminal act, might go to jail or prison. Another is shaming him publicly. Sometimes you can achieve one of those, sometimes two, sometimes three of those goals. But I’m very client-oriented, so I’m not there to impose agendas or goals on anyone. It’s simply to support them in their decision. They know what they need, and the client knows what’s best for her life. Everybody’s life is very complicated, with many choices. There’s no answer. We have to help educate women so they can make the choices that are best for their life. WRIGHT: It’s like a flywheel. I’m sure many women who settle financially would rather see their perpetrators go to jail right? ALLRED: Not necessarily. It’s an individual decision, yes. WRIGHT: What is the difference, to you, between verbal domestic violence and physical domestic violence? Which can cause the most harm? ALLRED: It really depends. Do you have a broken jaw? Has your spine been fractured? I don't know. In many cases when violence has been inflicted, the law does a better job of recognizing physical violence and the injuries suffered by the victim than it does recognizing the emotional violence. It's hard to understand that. So you know, usually the perpetrator… I can tell without meeting the person, if someone describes what happens to a victim, I can tell them here is the profile of the perpetrator. And in fact, if they describe this person to me that he’s never before been a batterer, I can tell you that he's going to be a batCONTINUED PAGE 37 >


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SC PROFILE

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n a winter day in Laguna Beach in 1967, Art Brewer had been in the water enjoying a playful south swell when he hauled himself out onto the sand to rest and warm up. A friend on the beach had been quietly sitting behind a camera and small lens when he asked Brewer if he wouldn’t mind watching his equipment while he went out for a wave or two (albeit on Brewer’s board).

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“He wanted to go out and surf. He told me I could shoot a few photos if I wanted to,” remembers Brewer today. “I shot a roll and a half of film.” That roll and a half of film would change the course of surfing as we know it. In 1967, Surfer Magazine was a fledgling publication run by surfer/artist John Severson out of Dana Point. Upon getting his film back from the developer, Brewer decided to submit a few images to the “reader’s photos” section. One was published. Brewer was officially a surf photographer—although that title didn’t exist at the time. One photo led to two, which then led to advertising work with local companies like Hobie. Figuring out how to work a camera and compose a photo on his own, he took a couple classes at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, but was more or less self-taught. His reputation grew with his technical abilities and artistic sensibilities. “I was getting more of my photos run and one day Surfer called me and asked if I wanted to be a staff photographer,” continues Brewer. “It paid $500 a month and I thought I’d made it big time. I went out and bought a new car.” Working under Senior Photographer Ron Stoner, Brewer’s photography quickly evolved. In ’69, Stoner stepped aside from the magazine and Brewer took www.southcoastmagazine.com

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the helm. He was sent directly to the North Shore of Oahu for his first-ever field assignment. “There were only a couple other people shooting. The North Shore was a completely different world back then, very quiet, very off the beaten path. I was going to be there for four months,” he says. Like so many things in his early career, the timing couldn’t have been better for Brewer. In December, the epic “Swell of ‘69” hit the North Shore. Waimea Bay was so big the waves closed out the entire bay. The Kam Highway flooded. Sixty houses were destroyed. For 72-hours it was chaos. “It was dark when the swell really hit and we could hear the emergency sirens and public address warnings. We were evacuated to the field where Sunset Elementary School is today. It was a long couple of days. We eventually made it over to Makaha, but Greg

Figuring out how to work a camera and compose a photo on his own, he took a couple classes at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, but was more or less self-taught.


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Noll had already come in from his historic ride and nobody was out.” The Swell of ’69 was just the beginning of a 40-year adventure that’s taken Brewer to some of the most remote corners in the world with some of the best surfers in the world. He served as Surfer’s photo editor until ’81, then set out to explore the limits of his photography. He’s spent extensive time travelling, logging serious time in Africa, Indonesia, the South Pacific and pretty much everywhere in between. He also branched out of surfing, working with a Hall of Fame list of athletes, including Michael Phelps, Derek Jeter and Dwayne Wade. His list of commercial clients shines just as bright. Pepsi, Chevy and Sony are among a few of the more notable. “It’s been a hell of a run,” he grins. “I hope it keeps going for a little while longer, but I can’t complain. I’ve had a lot of fun.” Today, Brewer lives in Dana Point. He has grandkids, a yellow lab and a pair of fins that keep him in the water. He teaches a photography class at Orange Coast College and works with the New York School of Visual Arts teaching a surf photography program.

Limited editions of his photographic prints are available at ArtBrewer.com.

1. This is just the beginning of exploration into the Mentawai islands in Indonesia. This is Macaronis in 1993. We were there when people were just starting to take boat trips out there. On the trip was Occy (pictured), Mick Lowe, Margo, Donavon and filmmaker Jack McCoy. This is before Occy got back into world title form, but he could still throw his board around. 2. This is Newport Point in 1977. Phil Grines showed up without a board or trunks or anything. It looked like he had been partying all night. He borrowed somebody’s board and went out and got the best wave of the day. 3. Barry Kanaiaupuni on the peak at Sunset in ’69. This might have been the same swell as the photo of Boozer and Jock. There just wasn’t really anybody around shooting this. I think there were probably less than four or five photographers actually paying attention to the North Shore at the time.

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4. Dana Point’s Pat O’Connell at a spot called Rifles in the Mentawais in 2000. I’ve always enjoyed being around Pat, we had a lot of fun on this trip. 5. Herbie Fletcher in 1976. We were in California and decided at the spur of the moment to jump on a plane and fly to Maui to shoot Maalaea. We got perfect surf. It was gone the next day, but we were really lucky to get what we did. We lined up and got the shot. It ended up on the cover of Surfer. 6. On the way from Durban to J-Bay with Bunker Spreckels. This was in 1970 and the guy sleeping is this guy David Landsley. He’d gotten out of jail in Australia for killing a guy that had assaulted his wife. Bunker met him on the plane and hired him on the spot. 7. John Kelly in 2000. We used this photo in a “Surfing Forever” feature in Surfer Magazine. He was 82 years old at the time. I’d gone down to the beach to shoot Nathan Florence, who was 8 years old at the time, and John together. Nathan was late and John was just walking down the beach looking at the waves. I was shooting medium format film at the time and just snapped off a few frames. I didn’t think much about it until I got the film back. It remains one of my most popular prints. 8. This is the Lorrin “Whitey” Harrison and his family on the porch of their adobe homestead in 1976. He was one of the first California surfers and the family still lives in the house today. Whitey’s barn is still there and everything.

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Feature TEACHER SC

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have evolved and adapted to this unique environment.

and animals that have evolved and Galapagos adventures are blissfully The islands are beautiful, yes, but their true splendor all-inclusive, free of worry and planned to this unique environment. adapted comes from with Celebrity luxury down to the last their unique place in our ecosystem and Theinislands are beautiful, yes. But the opportunity they give us to encounter the past, face detail. So you immerse yourself their true splendor comes from centuries-old landscapes rare No matter which stunning vessel you toand face. bird sightings, or hang out with an their unique place in our ecosystem choose for your Galapagos vacation, immense 70-year-old tortoise for the and the opportunity they give us to one of the best features is that day. We’ve takenthey’re care of everything encounter the past, face to face. all-inclusive. A trip to the Galapagos from preand post-cruise stays, flights, transfers, meals, beverages, Islands is so unique and so full of shore excursions, and more.

monumental experiences that we don’t want you to spend a moment thinking about logistics or details. Our Galapagos adventures areforblissfully No matter which stunning vessel you choose your all-inclusive, free of worry and Galapagos vacation, one of the best features is thatplanned ©2017 Celebrity Cruises. Ships’ registry: Malta and Ecuador. 17054787 • 1/2017 withACelebrity down to the last they’re all-inclusive. trip to the luxury Galapagos Islands detail. So you immerse yourself is so unique and so full of monumental experiences in centuries-old and rare that we don’t want you to spendlandscapes a moment thinking sightings, or hangadventures out with an about logistics bird or details. Our Galapagos immense 70-year-old tortoise for the day. We’ve taken care of everything from pre- and post-cruise stays, flights, transfers, meals, beverages, shore excursions, and more.

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There is no excuse for abuse. terer because there is a profile. There’s an O.J. Simpson type of batterer, and he was. He did plead to spousal violence against Nicole, but the law didn’t do much about that. I’m a big one for imposing consequences. I believe that when serious consequences are imposed on perpetrators, that is a learning experience for them, the perpetrators, and then they have to think about if they’re going to do it again. If there are no consequences or consequences that are not proportionate to the battery that has been inflicted, then there’s no incentive to stop the violence. So I believe in accountability and consequences. Consequences that fit the crime. WRIGHT: And O.J. was never held accountable and that comparison is what scares us as a family? ALLRED: Well there’s even a question about what he was supposed to do in the community after inflicting violence on Nicole, whether he even did this. And I mention this in a chapter in my book. So I still think, fast forward to 2017, do I think that the laws have significantly improved to protect victims? No. WRIGHT: That’s crazy, law and male headship both. Will it ever change? ALLRED: I think somewhat, but we aren’t there yet. Most perpetrators are not even prosecuted, but if they are prosecuted, I don’t think that the punishment imposed on them fits the crime. I’ve said many times, and I’ll say it again, if a man would beat an animal, he would generally get a significant prison term. But if he beats a woman, his wife, the mother of his children, generally he will not get the significant time in prison sentence that he would have if he’d beaten an animal. This is because animals and their rights are more protected than women and their rights. That’s my opinion; that’s my observation. I’m not interested in pitting women against animals,but I’m saying we have a long way to go. The fact that there was an intimate relationship does not justify giving a lighter sentence to a perpetrator of domestic violence. WRIGHT: I’m going to ask you a question with one word. You will answer with only one word? ‘Trump.’ ALLRED: (long pause) Dangerous. I also have a lawsuit against him you know? In fact, my client is a resident of Orange County. Summer Zervos. Very brave young woman. She is one of the accusers of Donald Trump during the campaign for the presidency. We heard the Access Hollywood tape and then candidate Trump said- well he wasn’t a candidate when he said it, he was a candidate when the Access Hollywood tape was broadcast — about how he could kiss a woman, just basically kiss her seemingly without her consent,

because he was a star. He could grab her by the, I’ll use the word "genital," he chose the ‘p word’, and it was shocking to many people. And then when he was asked about it in the debate by Anderson Cooper, whether he’d actually done what he was heard to say on that tape, he said it was just locker room talk and denied doing what he was actually heard saying he did. Then women started coming out to the New York Times and to me, alleging he actually had done what he was heard to say in the tape in some way to them. And Summer Zervos was one of them, and we held a news conference, and she detailed what she alleged he had done. Then after a number of women kept coming out and coming out, I was bringing out some of these women or doing news conferences with them. Mr. Trump said, "they are all liars. What they say is fabrication and fiction. I’m going to sue them all after the election." The Electoral College votes were such that he became President of the United States. He has not sued them. I then demanded a retraction. I said, "Retract what you said about these women and your threat to sue them." He did not retract, so on January 17th, this year; I filed a lawsuit on behalf of Summer against, soon-to-bePresident Trump. We filed it in New York, a defamation case against him on behalf of Summer. She is the only accuser to come forward. He’s argued…his first argument is going to be legal immunity, that because he’s President he can’t be sued. We’re arguing Paula Jones vs. Clinton, the Supreme Court case in which the United States Supreme Court said no man is above the law, including the President of the United States. The President of the United States can be sued as long as it’s not for official conduct. We’re alleging he has he defamed her: 1) before he became President of the United States and 2), we alleged that he defamed her, which would be personal misconduct, not official conduct, before he became President of the United States. Summer is very brave, and I’m very honored and very proud to represent her, because to sue the President of the United States, arguably the most powerful man in the world, for a young woman to stand up against that, and him, is very significant, and we are looking forward to taking his deposition. I’m looking forward to asking him questions under oath, as I expect him to raise his hand and tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help him, God. And, I’ll expect him to tell the truth. However, if he decides to lie under oath about a material fact in this case, he knows that he’s lying under oath. Again, I’m not saying he will, but if he does commit perjury that’s a high crime and misdemeanor for which he could be impeached. President Clinton was impeached. Will a Republican Congress, which sought and did impeach

President Clinton for lying under oath, will they do that to a Republican President? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. This will be very interesting. My feeling is they’re going to want to delay and delay and delay, so that day does not come for a long time. And, of course, I want this to move quickly. WRIGHT: That’s always the battle, right? Summer is fortunate to have you, one who is not opposed to fighting the power. ALLRED: In the Judicial System, well, we’re going to fight that battle. People can support us. This is a case of public interest and importance. If they want to support Summer, they can go to my web page GloriaAllred.com, and they can see a way to contribute to Summer’s case and to her battle against the President of the United States. It’s the only time in 41 years we’ve ever sought the assistance of the public to support a case, but this is an extremely significant battle, and you know Mr. Trump has quite a few billionaire friends. Summer doesn’t have billionaire friends to help her with this case, so that’s why we’re looking for the public’s support, and they can go there to find out how to contribute at gloriaallred.com.

Often the violence will be first against the mother, then against the children and gets more severe over time! WRIGHT: Public support is the way to go because of the division out there. Most people either love him or hate him! ALLRED: Well, you know, here’s what we think: truth matters. I’m all for truth and accountability. It may be a truth you like; it may be a truth you don't like.But we all need the truth, and that’s what we’re looking for- the truth- and we’re looking for justice. WRIGHT: What can we do to educate both our young men and young women in the world about domestic violence? ALLRED: That’s a really important question about young men, because our sons have a stake in this cause. When we’re talking about a victim of domestic violence, it could be a woman, it could be a man, because let’s face it, It's usually a woman. It could be a man, and men can be victims, too. They could be in a

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relationship with another man; a woman could be the victim of another woman ­— a lesbian or gay relationship. Or it could just be a dating relationship, not a marriage relationship. It could be a cohabitant relationship. Point is, when there’s violence against one member of a family, it affects many people in the family: the parents of the victim, the grandparents of the victim, the sisters, the brothers, the coworkers. It becomes a whole ripple effect. And it’s a challenge for the whole family on both sides - the perpetrator's side and the victim's side - and on the justice system. There is a saying in the domestic violence movement: "There’s no excuse for abuse." And we need other members in the family to help the victims understand what their options are. Leaving is sometimes also a risk. It is especially complicated if there are children, and children are seeing their mothers victimized. That’s bad for the children, and often the violence will be first against the mother and then against the children. But even if it is not against the children, it usually is after a while. Usually, abuse gets more severe over time and more frequent over time than better or less over time. We need everyone to be educated about the options and that violence is wrong. I always say male chauvinism can be very dangerous to a woman’s health because what looks like affection, in the beginning, turns into control, which turns into battery. Anything less than an equal relationship or equal partnership is going to be dangerous to a woman's health. Toxic to her future and to her children's future. We need to educate our sons that violence against women, violence against anyone, is wrong, and that everyone is entitled to be treated with respect and dignity, not just outside the home, but inside the home as well. WRIGHT: Everyone puts on an act when they’re at church or the Rotary Club or in a position of authority. ALLRED: People in authority can betray trust, and women who have great fathers often are the most vulnerable because they don’t expect other men to treat them badly. They think, “Well my dad was a great dad; this husband will be great to me too.” This is why they're so disappointed. Again, the women’s movement is, "What if Prince Charming comes and leaves and what if Prince Charming comes and beats you? What if Prince Charming is a frog? Turns into a Frog? And what if Prince Charming never comes?" We have to be prepared. Fairytales are not the reality; they don't prepare us for life.

SUMMER 2017 | 37


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Fun on the Lake R E S TA U R A N T

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