15 minute read
A DRESS FIT FOR A BRIDE
A Dress Bride for a
The audience sit enraptured, as on the pure white stage, the lights flash and sweep. The music swells and rises to a crescendo as the next model enters. She sweeps across the catwalk in full bridal attire, train spanning out behind her as she flicks her veil, the beads on her dress glinting in the light. A Dress for a Bride By Zahava Mimran The audience sit enraptured, as on the pure white stage, the lights flash and sweep. The music swells and rises to a crescendo as the next model enters. She sweeps across the catwalk in full bridal attire, train spanning out behind her as she flicks her veil, the beads on her dress glinting in the light.
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By Zahava Mimra Photo: Leivi Saltman Photography
Hats Off to Nerida
It’s the Grand Bridal Dress show, and the manufacturers are here to display their new collection. Later, the room will be thronged with models in bridal dresses of every colour, style, and type, in lace, brocade, tulles and nets, as they mingle with the crowd, handing out glossy brochures and catalogues. Crowds of women hurry around, notebooks in hand, pens at the ready, touching and examining the gowns as they survey the wares.
The companies here are looking for interest, for customers, and ultimately, for big orders. For Elisheva Kramer though, armed with her notebook and camera, she isn’t here to buy yet. She’s here to scout out dresses that she can adapt to fit the modest specifications of the gowns she sells at her home business ‘The Beautiful Bride’, which caters to Jewish brides throughout the UK. They’re looking for modest gowns, but they’re also looking for beautiful gowns, and Elisheva's here to make that happen.
Covid permitting, she travels a few times a year to Bridal shows around the world to source dresses for her diverse collection. ‘It’s absolutely hectic there,’ she says. ‘Companies come from all around the world to display their latest collection, and they really want you to place orders on the spot. I can’t do that though, it’s too much pressure, and I need a few days to let everything settle and to make my choices.’ Instead, Elisheva takes copious notes and pictures, and orders later.
Although it sounds like a fairy-tale job, Elisheva explains that it’s not as much fun as it sounds. ‘I’m not necessarily ordering dresses that I like; it’s not about my taste, it’s about what the girls want. I remember the first time I attended a show, I went wild and ordered the most beautiful dresses I saw, yet I ended up donating some of them to charity shops. When I choose, I have to bear in mind the last ten kallahs who walked through my door, and order based on their preferences. I also need to think about what I need, as I like to have a diverse range; so it’s more about filling in the gaps in my stock than going wild.’
Although companies usually like customers to take around five or ten dresses, she points out that with our close-knit communities she can’t do that, as social circles overlap a lot, and brides don’t want guests to see them in a gown that they’ve seen recently on someone else. Instead of a bulk order, she usually takes a collection of what she thinks will be popular in the coming months. ‘I find it’s a lot of mazel,’ she admits, ‘Sometimes I’ll choose dresses and they’ll just fly off the shelf, other times I’ll find that they just don’t go.’
The difference with Elisheva’s orders is that they all needed to be adapted to fit modest requirements. ‘I’m asking the manufacturers to change the gowns’, she says, ‘It’s not something that every company will do, definitely not the big brands who are churning out thousands of dresses - although I do still like to meet them at the Shows, and see the current fashions. However, I usually go with smaller companies, for whom it is worth it to adapt their gowns.’ At the moment,
Elisheva works with around 4 companies, at four different price points. ‘I’ve learnt that people like having the options of different price brackets, and also, each company has their own style. Some make more luxurious gowns, others are more A-line, or classic, so it’s good to work with a variety.’
Elisheva is very particular about the companies and brands she works with. First and foremost, it is important that they understand what we are looking for in a modest dress. Elisheva recalls being shown some absolutely awful dresses after telling companies that she was looking for a modest dress. ‘They have to understand that we’re not looking for thick dowdy dresses. Our brides want to look modest, yet they still want to look beautiful, with beautiful fabrics and designs. The dresses also have to be well sewn. I once ordered some lovely dresses but they were sewn so badly they didn’t look good on. A dress can be absolutely beautiful, but if it isn’t sewn right, it won’t fit well or look good.’
Another thing that is very important is the timing. ‘NonJewish engagements are very long, and these companies are used to having months to play around with,’ she tells me. ‘When a Kallah comes to me to choose a dress a few weeks after she gets engaged, she often only has two months or so until her wedding, so we really aren’t working with a lot of time here. Therefore if a company doesn’t have a quick turnover time, it doesn’t work for me. I’ve also found that it works better when the company has the manufacturing team on site, so that I can speak to them and they can tell me exactly what stage of production the dress is at and even send me pictures of it. When the manufacturing team is not on site, it’s just too many middle-men to be dealing with, especially when we are so pressured for time.’
Once Elisheva returns home, she’ll scrutinise the dresses and work out how to adapt them for Jewish kallahs. An artistic person, she sometimes makes sketches of possible changes, working out how to keep it beautiful yet still modest. Following that, she will ask the manufacturers to remake the dresses according to her specifications. ‘Not all dresses can be adapted,’ she notes. ‘A dress might be beautiful but when it’s filled in up to the neckline it would be too heavy. You have to look at every detail and think it through carefully. Lace, for example, is easy to line, yet you might have details like a silver thread which you don’t notice when seeing it in nude, so you have to get that taken out if you don’t want to end up with a silver and white dress.’ By now though, the manufacturers know the rules – sometimes Elisheva will forget to mention something and they’ll point it out to her.
With a massive selection of gowns, Elisheva spends most of her mornings meeting with brides and helping them to choose a dress. Sometimes, a bride will see a dress, love it but prefer a different fabric, shape, or design. Elisheva can then work with the manufacturer to customise the dress according to the bride's specifications to create her dream dress.
As it is important to most brides that their dress looks unique, Elisheva is very careful to ensure that no two girls from the same area will end up wearing the same dress within a specific time-frame. Additionally, when a bride chooses a dress, she will always tell her who wore the dress before her. ‘I remember once asking a girl if she wanted to know who had worn the dress, and at first, she insisted that she didn’t. When she finally asked me to tell her, I gave her the list of names, and she realised that her Chosson’s sister had worn that very dress as a bride. Needless to say, she chose a different style.’
With the bride’s dream dress chosen, it’s down to just fittings and alterations. Elisheva keeps a stock of materials and samples, and she works closely with a local Jewish seamstress, who with her years of experience in bridal dresses works her magic altering the dress as much as necessary until the bride is happy with her perfect fit. ‘Girls often tell me that they don’t want the typical ‘Jewish dress’ but when you have a completely modest dress, it is going to look somewhat Jewish. We can try to change things a little, but at the end of the day, I always say, ‘It’s the person who wears the dress.’ I’ve had two kallahs who were poles apart wear exactly the same dress, but it looked like a completely different dress on each of them.’
‘At the end of the day, the dress is a massive part of the wedding day,’ Elisheva explains, ‘A bride has to love it, and feel special in it, and it has to look good on her. You only get married once, and it’s important that I can find a dress that will work for each bride. Mothers tell me that they’ll save money on everything but the dress, and I’ve found that if a bride is excited about her dress, she’ll feel excited about the day. Sometimes, I get a girl calling me a week or two before the wedding, asking to have a look at their dress again – saying that they’re not sure about it. And you know what it really is? They’re nervous – they’ve got wedding nerves. But they can’t say that, so they tell me that it’s the dress they are unsure about. They try it on, and they remember that yes - they do love it, and it helps to calm them down. The bridal business is definitely a very beautiful one to be working in. When brides come in, you get to see some really beautiful relationships, especially between mother and daughter. There’s also a lot of amazing kindness; in the past I’ve scheduled an appointment with a bride and then received a phone-call beforehand telling me that money has been collected for this wedding, and that I should raise the budget a certain amount without telling the bride. It’s really a very special honour to be a part of this momentous day.’
Elisheva loves popping into chuppahs, to get a chance to see the brides in their dresses, and she even has a lovely custom of going to help local brides don their dresses on the day of their wedding. ‘People offer to pay me for it, but I absolutely refuse. Much as I have seen the dress during all the fittings and appointments, nothing compares to how it looks on a bride on the day of the wedding. It’s my nachas, and I consider it my part in the mitzva of being mesameach chosson v’kallah.’
Model Sissy Rose Dresses by The Beautiful Bride Bridal Headpieces Belissima by Chaygit (Gemach) Makeup by Tova Altusky Hair by Kayla Hollander Cupcakes by Carri Styling by Chaya Baumgarten Flowers by Tudor Green Florists Diamonds by Michelle collection
A GUIDE TO SHEVA BROCHOS PLANNING
Coming up with an idea/theme
Offering to make Sheva Brochos is one thing, coming up with a memorable theme is quite another. Is there something that you know about the Chosson or Kallah that you want to make into the theme of this Sheva Brochos? It could be something about the family, your connection to the family or something typically ‘them’.
Ideas could include friendship, travel, food, school, camp or anything at all! If you can’t think of something that fits, (it could be the third time or so that you are making for the same family and you are clean out of ideas!!) then look at the names of the Chosson and Kallah. Perhaps their initials will give you an idea. For example: Yisroel and Sarah Levy give the initials YSL, which gives you an instant logo with which to work, or
Malki and Simcha - M&S - gives you both a theme and a colour scheme.
Mr Men and Little Miss is an easy way of making everyone feel good and customising each place-card with the person’s characteristics.
Often, clients stuck for an idea just pick a colour scheme and we either use the wedding logo or create a bespoke one for the evening, and then tie it into the colour scheme. When the Sheva Brochos is within a day or two after the wedding, we can use the flowers from the wedding, and then match table stationery or party favours to them.
However, the most important thing is that the Chosson, Kallah, and their families can see that you put some thought into the evening. At Simchas by Shana we have been helping people make their simchas more memorable and special by turning ideas into actuality for many years. We specialise in customising and branding any simcha/ function to leave a lasting impression on the guests. As a party business, we supply all props and decor for simchas, be it invitations, place-cards, party favours, welcome boxes, menu cards, and much more. We specialise in themed events such as Sheva Brochos and Upsherin parties - creating and supplying props, table decor and centrepieces to match your themes. Along with a massive range of acrylic numbers to match all tablescapes and rentable props, we work closely with caterers, linen suppliers and florists to make sure that the table stationery is perfectly matched, and fits in with all the different elements. We realise that not everyone has the same budget and that is fine - it has never stopped us producing beautiful products to enhance your simchas. Alongside this, we also run a complete event planning service, where we ensure your Simcha runs smoothly and that no detail is overlooked. This enables you to relax and enjoy the event knowing that everything has been taken care of. At Simchas by Shana, we will look after all aspects from the booking of venues, vendors, and every last detail up until the lost property at the end of the function. Additionally, we also oversee all travel and dining details (including sightseeing) for your guests, ensuring you have a smooth run up to your function. visit our Instagram page @simchas_by_shana to view some samples of our products. Looking forward to beautifying your simcha soon! Shana and the team
Invitations
An invitation makes the evening something to look forward to. The big question is: Do you want to give away your theme or idea with a themed invitation, or do you want to make a smart/ funky invitation. Online, WhatsApp, and email invitations also work really well - these were popular before Covid too.
Colour Scheme
Once you have chosen your theme, it’s time to work on your colour palate. Some themes will come with their own colours, for example, a beach theme or a Coca Cola theme will dictate which colours you need to work with. Some venues are already decorated and you can just go along with what they offer and then match your table décor to that.
It’s very important to think about where centrepieces will be placed. A large, wide centrepiece will be in the way at a restaurant with long narrow tables, whilst small low centrepieces, such as mini vases and candles will be a much better fit, yet might look wrong on a big round table for 10.
Centrepieces don’t always need to be themed, just as long as the colouring works with whatever else is on your table.
Menu
It is always fun to theme the food too, wherever possible. A fitness themed Sheva Brochos can start off with a healthy salad, a tennis themed Sheva Brochos could end off with strawberries and cream for dessert and Pimm’s with the drinks. Even if you do not wish to match the theme and food, a menu card could match the overall table stationery, colour scheme and theme.
Little Touches
Little touches are a way of making the evening more memorable, and the list is really endless. They could include a photo chocolate, place mats, name cards, custom napkins, branded drink bottles, party favours, bentchers, or even themed t-shirts for the Chosson and Kallah. However, we do sit with the client to make sure that the items they choose will work with the overall table size, colour-scheme, theme, and above all, will stay within their budget.
Entertainment
A good speaker is a must. It doesn’t have to be a long speech, but explaining the connection between your theme and the Chosson and Kallah is important. Games can be good fun but know your crowd – they don’t work for everyone. If you do choose to have games, they can be created to go with your theme, for example you might play a Highway Code game for a car themed Sheva Brochos, for which we would print a little booklet with some highway signs and ask the guests to describe them in relation to the Chosson and kallah. If you don’t have a theme, or don’t need your game to match it, you can also stick with the regular Chosson Kallah games. ‘Mr and Mrs’ is a great one to get people laughing and requires very little work, and Bingo is also a popular one.
