STRAIGHT OUTTA COVINGTON
a.k.a. “the stray animal belt”
Theo Von is an American stand-up comedian, podcast host, television personality and mullet-rocker. Theo has established himself as a prominent comedic figure, known for his goofy observational humor, and consistently bringing laughter to the masses.
Theodor Capitani von Kurnatowski was born on March 19th, 1980, in Covington, Louisiana. Of course now, he is now better known by his shortened stage name: Theo Von.
When asked about his hometown, Theo had this to say:
“Well, it’s funny that you mention that man, because let me tell you a little story about Covington, Louisiana. I remember when I was a kid, walkin’ to my buddy Earl’s house, dude, this little old lady was sittin’ on her porch, and she motioned for me to come on over. Of course, my momma taught me don’t talk to strangers, but I was invested in whatever this lady had to say, you know, so I struck up a conversation with her because why not?
“Well according to her, there’s this whole underground… tunnel system, I guess you would call it. Spans the entire town of Covington. And all these tunnels lead to this donut shop - it was a Dunkin’ Donuts, which was foreign to us at the time - that sits in what is essentially the basement of the city hall building.
“I didn’t want to miss out on any of
this glazed goodness, so I booked it on up to Earl’s house, he was uh… his mom wanted their living room furniture to all be purple, she was going for a certain aesthetic, so I told Earl to put down the paintbrush and follow me.
“Now I didn’t know where to find these tunnels, but the lady said they went under the city hall, so I figured that was as good a place as any to look. Right before we got to city hall, we passed our world record-holding Ronald Reagan statue, and I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. There was a… manhole missin’ its cover, so Earl and I decided to check it out, thinkin’ we were boutta find somethin akin to the Lost City of Atlantis. Turns out the tunnels this lady was talking about, they was just sewers. Didn’t stop us from looking for the donut shop, though.”
THEO AND HIS DAD
GROWING UP WITH AN ELDERLY FATHER
Theo often references his father, who was 70 when Theo was born. Roland von Kurnatowski Sr. unfortunately passed away when Theo was just 16 years old, but that doesn’t stop the comedian from recalling the intricacies of growing up with a father that age. He often says he wishes he would have made more memories when his dad was still around.
Theo also mentions that his father hails from Bluefields, Nicaragua, and had immigrated to the United States in 1922 when he was just 12 years old. This also means that Theo’s grandfather was born in 1880. “We didn’t have any pictures of him… we had a description of my grandfather, framed on the wall,” Theo jokes.
THE MOVE TO NASHVILLE
Theo Von now resides in Nashville, Tennessee, though he often tours and travels so he’s never home for too long.. Theo tells a story about dead animal carcasses being left in the street when he was a kid, and nobody came to clean them up. “I wasn’t a big fan of the government after that,” Theo says, sparking his interest in moving to Tennessee, which has a lower state income tax.
Theo filmed his 2021 comedy special “Regular People” at the historic Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, and fequents the comedy clubs that can be found around town.
“You know me man, If I’m in a new area, I like to get acclimated with the animals.”
Podcasts have become very prevalent in the comedy scene. Various comics have started their own shows, it started with the Opie & Anthony Show in the mid-90s, and exploded with the creation of the Joe Rogan Experience by fellow comedians Joe Rogan and Brian Redban.
As for Theo, he previously hosted a show called “The King and the Sting” with former MMA fighter Brendan Schaub.
THIS PAST
“Podcasting: Where laughter echoes through the - Theo Von,
AND
THEO
PODCASTING
WEEKEND PODCASTING
Today, Theo hosts a weekly podcast called This Past Weekend, featuring long-form conversations with a wide range of guests. The show currently sits at 6th in Spotify’s podcast charts for the United States. It serves as a great platform for Theo to showcase his comedic talents, as well as his “southern charm” and charisma. His unique storytelling abilities keep listeners on the edge of their seats, waiting for the next curveball in his story.
PAST
Von,
airwaves and stories come to live in your ears.”
probably
STAND-UP COMEDY
Theo’s comedy is largely informed by his childhood, referencing stories and characters from his hometown. Whether these anecdotes and characterizations are legitimate or not, is for the audience to decide. Regardless, Theo never fails to capture his audience with his authenticity, relatability, and impeccable timing.
“Being funny came easy to me. Even if I was depressed or having a bad day, I could get up there, perform and feel better.”
OVERCOMING ADDICTION
Theo Von has been open and honest about his battle with addiction, which has played a significant role in shaping his life and career. From a young age, Theo struggled with substance abuse, finding solace in drugs and alcohol as a means to cope with personal challenges and emotional pain.
Over the years, Theo’s addiction took a toll on his physical and mental well-being, as well as his relationships and professional endeavors. However, recognizing the destructive path he was on, Theo made the courageous decision to confront his addiction head-on and seek help.
Through a combination of therapy, support from loved ones, and a commitment to his own personal growth, Theo embarked on a journey of recovery. It was a challenging process, filled with ups and downs, but one that ultimately allowed him to reclaim his life and regain control.
TELEVISION
Outside of comedy, Theo also has experience working in TV, including spurts as both a character actor and contestant in a few reality shows.
While still studying at Louisiana State University, Theo was recruited as cast member for MTV’s “Road Rules” and would go on to appear in four seasons of a Road Rules spinoff called “The Challenge.” He would win both seasons 7 and 9 of The Challenge.
“This puzzle is myne. M-Y-N-E.”
- Theo Von, S7E15, The Challenge
MOVIES
Theo has also appeared as an actor in various TV series, typically as a guest star for a one-off episode. His most recent acting role comes as the character “Bryladen” on a TV Movie titled “The Story of Our Times”.
Additionally, Theo is part of one of the largest examples of the “Mandela Effect” in recorded history. Many believe that George Clooney played Danny Ocean in Ocean’s 11, but it was actually Theo Von. Always has been.
“You remember the day that I went for cigarettes and didn’t come back?”
- Danny Ocean, Ocean’s 11
