A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, and measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
He was driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!”
The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”
“Forget it, man,” said his partner, “there’s no chance you’ll hit her from here!”
A golfer was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him; “Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat”.
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday at his favorite golf course.
TRUE STORY: Oh those gullible Americans!
In 1998 a Fast Food Restaurant published a full page advertisement in USA Today ... announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a “Left-Handed Burger” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans.
According to the advertisement, the new hamburger included the same ingredients as the before (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers.
The following day the Fast Food Restaurant issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Burger was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich.
EATONIA
SUNDAY, AUGUST 13
• Sunday in the Park 2:00-4:00 PM. Lemonade, Watermelon, Snow Cones and Open Mic Talent Show. If you wish to share call Sharon at 306-460-5267.
ESTON
SATURDAY, AUGUST 19
• Eston Riverside Regional Park Eston Kidsport Golf Tournament. Registration 306-9623845 (Clubhouse) or if you wish to donate a silent auction item or make a donation to KidSport, please contact Garrett Turner at 306962-7748.
NOVEMBER 18
• MARK YOUR CALENDAR for Prairie West Historical Society’s annual Christmas in November.
* Wheatland Centre Potluck Supper fourth Friday of each month 6:00 PM. $5.00. Bring your own utensils. Coffee & tea provided.
* Wheatland Centre Bingo - 1st & 3rd Thursday of the month 7:00 PM. Regular Bingo plus Bonanza, 50/50 Draw. Must be 14 years of age. Call 306-962-7117 (ask for Linda) for more info.
* Adult Recreational Volleyball Monday 7-9 PM at the ECS Gym May through June. $30 registration.
* Adult Recreational Slo-Pitch Sunday at 7 PM Reaburn Field May 7 - August 6. $50 registration.
* Town Council meetings will be June 13th & 27th.
* BBQ Saturdays at Eston Museum from June 17 to August 26. Two exceptions (July 8 and August 5 will be at Wheatland Centre (Plus 50). On BBQ Saturdays at the Museum, tgere will be 6 Marketplace tables available for use. No charge. Contact Shari at 306-430-8730 for details.
KERROBERT
FRIDAY, JULY 28
• Kerrobert Kinsmen Gumball Rally & Show & Shine. Cool cars, live music, food & drinks and more!
AUGUST 3
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16
• Kerrobert Library presents Danny Kazam and his Young Wizards Day Camp 1:00-4:00 PM. This is for ages 6-12 with a magic show at 3:30 open to the public. Preregistration is required for the camp. Register by contacting Kerrobert.library@wheatland.sk.ca
• Paiting with Joy at the Vintage Market Place 6:00-9:00 PM. Detailed instruction for Beginner to intermediate painters. Using acrylic paints, we will turn a blank canvas into a beautiful Iris Flower painting. For info or RSVP: 639-679-0115.
* Storytime at the Kerrobert Library the first and third Thursday of every month at 10:30 AM.
* Anne Nordstrom “Africa and Abstracts” A collection of acrylic paintings influenced by the colour and light of Africa 7:00 PM at the Kerrobert Courtroom Gallery. Exhibition runs until August 31.
KINDERSLEY
THURSDAY, JULY 27
• Kindersley Library Branch: Teen Zone Mental Health First Aid Kit
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2
• Kindersley Library Branch: 10:30 AM Go Filipino: Philippines Flag Storytime and Craft for 0-5 years.
• Kindersley Library Branch: 2:30 PM Go Filipino: Philippines Flag Youth Craft for 6-11 years.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 8
• Kindersley Library Branch: 2:00-3:30 PM Bluey Book Party at the Norman Ritchie Community Centre.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 9
• 2nd Annual Fashion Show at the Kindersley & District Plains Museum. Interested in modelling? Please call Kerry or Jordyn at 306463-6620.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 12
• PaintNite 2:00 PM Boston Pizza. Join us for a fun time! Enjoy good food and drinks while unleashing your inner artist!
TUESDAY, AUGUST 15
• Kindersley Library Branch: 10:30 AM Go Filipino: Foods of the Philippines Storytime & Craft 0-5 years.
• Kindersley Library Branch: Go Filipino: Kite Making Youth Craft for 6-11 years
TUESDAY, AUGUST 22
• Kindersley Library Branch: Go Filipino: Jeepny Storytime & Craft 0-5 years.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23
• Kindersley Library Branch: Go! Science with the SK Science Centre at the Norman Ritchie Community Centre.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 24
• Kindersley Library Branch: Teen Zone Bad Art Night
SATURDAY, AUGUST 26
• Kindersley Chamber of Commerce Golf Tournament
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30
• Welcome Back BBQ & Meet the Teacher at Westberry Elementary School 5:00 PM. $5 Hamburger, Chips & Pop. BBQ by Kindersley Klippers. Drop off your school supplies.
SEPTEMBER 21-24
• Goose Festival Days!
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 14
• Donations wanted for United Church Garage Sale. Open 9:00 to 4:00. No clothes please. Can bring items anytime over summer. Arrange drop-off with Church Office or Mary. For more information: 306-463-6508 or 306-463-7450.
West Central
• Pre-planning
Monuments • Grief Support
Only crematorium in the west-central area
801 - 9th Street West 306-463-2659
kcfh@sasktel.net
Q:
Whatever happened to the older woman who was chosen as “The Bachelorette” and left early in the season because she found “the one”? Are they still together? — J.K.
A:Only in Hollywood is 39 considered old, but that’s how old Clare Crawley was when she was chosen by ABC to be their “Bachelorette” for season 16 of the show. She surprised viewers by quitting after just 12 days of filming because she said she already found her man — 31-year-old contestant Dale Moss. Alas, Crawley didn’t find her happily ever after with him.
The couple did get engaged, but had a rocky on- and off-again relationship, finally breaking up for good in September 2021. After getting her heart broken, Crawley found love the following year with Mascot Sports CEO Ryan Dawkins. She told People magazine, “He’s not after fame and ... he is so consistent and so vocal about how much he loves me.”
the ceremony is expected to air on Fox this September.
& Family Support Centre Inc.
Crawley won’t be competing on any reality dating shows anymore, since she happily said “I do” to Dawkins earlier this year and is expecting her first child, via surrogate, in January 2024.
Q:
I’m really surprised Carol Burnett didn’t get nominated for an Emmy for “Better Call Saul.” Isn’t there a special category for guest-star parts? I thought she’d be a shoo-in. — G.M.
A:Comedy legend Carol Burnett did a spectacular job in her impactful role on the final season of “Better Call Saul.” However, according to Rolling Stone, she wasn’t eligible for the Outstanding Guest Actress category because she appeared in “one episode too many” and was thus submitted for consideration in the Supporting Actress category instead. Alas, that category was highly competitive and saturated with actresses from “The White Lotus,” leaving Burnett off the nominations list.
“Better Call Saul” aired its series finale right after voting ended for last year’s Emmys, putting it at a disadvantage for this year’s nominations. Bob Odenkirk and Rhea Seehorn are contenders in their respective acting categories, and
Q:
I just read that Margot Robbie has been married for several years. I’ve never seen her husband walking the red carpet with her at award shows. Who is he? — O.T.
A:The
twice-Oscar-nominated actress and star of the upcoming film “Barbie” has been quietly married since 2016 to film producer Tom Ackerley. They met a decade ago on the set of Robbie’s movie “Suite Francaise” where he was the assistant director. The two now own a production company and have produced several of Robbie’s films, including “I, Tonya.”
As for red carpet appearances, the couple did appear before photographers on the pink carpet at the world premiere event for “Barbie” at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. They’ll also be producing partners for her upcoming film, a yet-to-be-titled “Ocean’s Eleven” sequel. At only 33 years old each, the couple will hopefully have many more years together conquering Hollywood. Send me your questions at NewCelebrityExtra@gmail.com, or write me at KFWS, 628 Virginia Drive, Orlando, FL 32803. © 2023 King Features Synd., Inc.
1. THEATER: Which group composed the rock opera “Tommy”?
2. GEOGRAPHY: In which country is Mount Everest located?
3. LITERATURE: Which novel contains the line, “Big Brother is watching you”?
4. HISTORY: Who was the second president of the United States?
5. WEATHER: What is a cloud shaped like a flying saucer called?
6. TELEVISION: Which TV comedy features a character named Opie Taylor?
7. MOVIES: What is the name of Argus Filch’s cat in the “Harry Potter” series?
8. MATH: What is the only even prime number?
9. MEDICAL: What is the common name for the ailment called dysphonia?
10. ANIMAL KINGDOM: How many stages are in a butterfly’s life cycle?
Answers
1. The Who.
2. Nepal.
3. “1984” by George Orwell.
4. John Adams.
5. A lenticular cloud.
6. “The Andy Griffith Show.”
7. Mrs. Norris.
8. Two.
9. Hoarseness.
10. Four (egg, larva, pupa and adult). © 2023 King Features Synd., Inc.
By Lucie Winborne
• The blobfish gets its nickname from its saggy appearance when it’s brought to the surface from the deep part of the ocean where it lives. Because it has no skeleton and very little muscle, water pressure that would crush human organs gives the animal physical structure at that depth.
• To maintain the historical accuracy of the American Colonial era, Disney World’s Liberty Square was built without any restrooms. (But no, you won’t find any outhouses, either.)
• And speaking of restrooms, there are public toilets for dogs in China.
• The character of cross-dressing Corporal Klinger on the TV series “M*A*S*H” was allegedly influenced by comedian Lenny Bruce’s claim that he was discharged from the Navy for saying he had “homosexual tendencies.”
• Eberhard Anheuser, cofounder of the Anheuser-Busch brewery, got his start in manufacturing with soap and candles.
• Due to a technical glitch in his debit card payment processing, a man was accidentally charged 23 quadrillion dollars. As if that wasn’t bad enough, since he didn’t have the amount in his account, he was also charged a $15 overdraft fee!
• Carnauba wax, which is used on cars, is the same type of wax used to give gummy candy its sheen.
• Neptune’s moon, Triton, orbits the
Twice last week, SaskEnergy set new daily natural gas usage records, and we can thank Alberta for most of our supply
BY BRIAN ZINCHUK brian.zinchuk@pipelineonline.ca
I was out at the cabin, trying to trim the reeds and weeds along the water, when I came across a stark reminder of how good we have it because of fossil fuels.
Not only was Saskatchewan setting electrical consumption records during the cold snap of last week of December, we also set two consecutive natural gas consumption records, too.
I was using the electric whipper snipper when the reel head decided to disassemble itself. But I still had a lot of weeds that needed to be cut.
According to SaskEnergy in a Dec. 31 release, “Extreme cold weather across Saskatchewan this week resulted in record-breaking natural gas demand in the province. On December 28 and 29, natural gas consumption surpassed the previous daily record of 1.57 petajoules (PJ) which was set in February 2021.
“A new daily record of 1.62 PJ was set on December 28 and broken again on December 29 with total system delivery of 1.64 PJ. Delivery numbers for December 30 and 31 are not yet finalized, but are also expected to exceed 1.6 PJ.”
So I went into the shed and dug out the old scythe Uncle Larry, the previous owner, put in there some time in the preceding 40 years. That scythe likely dates back to the 1930s, making it somewhere around 90 years old. A blacksmith hand-made that scythe.
The natural gas records coincided with record power consumption. On Dec. 29, SaskPower set another record in power consumption for Saskatchewan. At 5:27 p.m. on Dec. 29, 2021, Saskatchewan homes and businesses reached 3,868 megawatts (MW) in power use, according to the Crown corporation. The previous record of 3,792 MW was reached four years ago to the day, on Dec. 29, 2017.
I took a palm sander to it and put a usable edge on it.
My late grandfather, Harry Zinchuk, showed me how to use a scythe some 30 years ago, when I was around 18. I think he used one when he was 18, around 1935, twisting right to left. My technique was awful, my tool old and probably too dull. But I was able cut down about 40 square feet of reeds in a few sweat-soaked minutes.
Saskatchewan’s power production has increasingly shifted from coal to natural gas as a fuel source. In December, Boundary Dam Unit 4, a coal-fired generating unit, was retired, reducing the Boundary Dam Power Station to 672 megawatts capacity. On the natural gas side, Saskatchewan has seen the construction of several new natural gas-fired power plants. They include the baseload North Battleford Power Station (289 megawatts), Yellowhead Power Station peaking plant (also at North Battleford, 135 megawatts), the baseload Chinook Power Station at Swift Current (353 megawatts) and peaking plant Spy Hill Power Station (89 megawatts). Another 353 megawatt baseload
And with each stroke, I kept wondering how entire teams of men would go into the fields, slicing down crops entirely by hand. It would take days for them to do 160 acres.
It made me think of farming today. A few years ago I was hired to video and photograph a year on the farm for Jason and Sherrill LeBlanc of Es-
plant, very similar to Chinook, is under construction at Moose Jaw.
All of this added natural gas-fired power generation has, in turn, driven higher usage of natural gas during times of high electrical consumption.
tevan. They had their then-14 year old daughter driving a mammoth Case combine, and doing so well. I wonder how much more productive one girl driving a combine was compared to teams of men with scythes, then stookers, then threshing crews.
The Crown noted that increased demand from SaskEnergy’s industrial customers, including natural gas use for power production, was the main driver of this week’s record-setting consumption.
That same farm now continuously crops over 100 quarters of land, harvesting with a crew of around 20 people. They usually accomplish all of that in just a few weeks.
SaskEnergy said it measures daily natural gas consumption for the 24-hour period from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. A PJ is a unit of measurement equivalent to one million gigajoules (GJ) of natural gas. An average Saskatchewan home consumes about 100 GJ of natural gas each year.
My grandfather worked on those threshing crews, from sun up to sun down. Lard sandwiches were his fuel. Hay fed the horses. How much more efficient are diesel combines now?
“SaskEnergy’s natural gas system design can accommodate additional capacity to manage increased consumption even on peak days,” SaskEnergy president and CEO Ken From said in a release. “Throughout the year, SaskEnergy employees inspect, maintain and enhance the system to support safe and reliable natural gas delivery in all weather conditions. In addition, employees monitor the system 24 hours a day to ensure sufficient system capacity to meet customer demand across the province.”
This province is now largely dependent on neighbouring Alberta to fulfill roughly two-thirds of our natural gas needs.
When natural gas prices took a tumble roughly 14 years ago, Saskatchewan’s domestic gas production fell off a cliff. Targeted gas drilling went essentially extinct, with next to no gas-specific wells being drilled in this province for most of the past decade. Our domestic gas production is now largely based on associated gas production that comes with oil production. As a result, Saskatchewan went from being a net gas exporter for the period of 1988 to 2009 to a net importer that year.
For some real world explanations of this, I strongly encourage reading some of the books by Vaclav Smil, the University of Manitoba distinguished professor emeritus whose prolific writings on energy are a true wakeup call. Last summer I got through How the World Really Works: The Science Behind How We Got Here and Where We’re Going. Other titles of his I hope to get through are Energy and Civilization: A History, Invention and Innovation: A Brief History of Hype and Failure and Power Density: A Key to Understanding Energy Sources and Uses. The general thrust is how mankind’s mastery of energy supplies have allowed us to live the lives we currently enjoy.
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