Kerrobert Courthouse restoration update
The Town of Kerrobert started courthouse restoration efforts in 2019 by having the outside windows repaired and painted with the help of a grant from the Saskatchewan Heritage Foundation. In the same year, Town Council approved the formation of the Kerrobert Courthouse Restoration Society (KCRS) to help raise funds to preserve the historic building. Since Town Council approved its formation, the KCRS committee raised $5939.68 in 2019, $4267.45 in 2020 and so far in 2021 approximately $13,600.00, with a grand total of just over $23,800.00 to go towards courthouse restoration projects. Thank you to everyone for supporting our fundraising efforts.
To begin, KCRS hired a structural engineer to provide us with a structural assessment of the courthouse building at a cost of $2730.00. This was necessary to address the building’s issues and to acquire a prioritized list of what needed to be done for restoration. We had the mortar repaired on the stair sidewalls for the building’s centennial at a cost of $2430.90. Our current fundraising focus was getting the lead paint on the eaves professionally abated and then have them painted to complete the eaves repair. Through a government grant, the Town had the inside of the eaves repaired to working condition however they still need to be painted. The cost to complete the painting is estimated to be around $35,000.00 but due to the urgency that came up regarding the front stairs being unsafe and needing replacement, we have shifted our focus to the front stairs project.
The stair project was hoped to be completed this fall but due to the time of year and lack of funding it was postponed to the spring of 2022. Initially, at first glance, the architect thought the cost may be approximately $100,000 but when it was tendered, the lowest bid came in at around $195,000.00. Council decided to postpone and re-tender early in the spring of 2022 in hopes of a better outcome. So far, the Town has been successful in being awarded $7500 from Enbridge through their Fueling Futures grant program and has just recently been no-
tified of being awarded a grant of $30,000 from the Saskatchewan Heritage Foundation for the stairs project. The Town and the Courthouse Restoration Society will continue to work together to fundraise for this project. The stairs are expected to be completed by November of 2022.
The Kerrobert Courtroom Restoration Society would like to thank everyone that came out and supported our fundraisers on December 2nd & 3rd that were geared towards the rebuilding of the Courthouse entrance. We would also like to say thank you for your willingness to comply with the necessary COVID measures in place for both functions.
The Festival of Trees, Thursday, December 2nd, turned out to be a beautiful day with lots of fluffy snow falling in the afternoon which complimented the committee’s efforts to get everyone in the Christmas spirit. The Tralapa Rangers hosted hayrides, BBQ hotdogs a nice fire to warm by. The Kerrobert Chamber of Commerce donated the hotdogs and buns. Many thanks to the Tralapa Rangers & the Chamber of Commerce for helping to make the day special for everyone. The Courtyard was lit up at 6:00 p.m. along with many of our town residences illuminating their homes to make a very sparkly twinkle tour. Meanwhile the Courthouse was alive with the Christmas spirit. Along with Christine Code’s
wonderful paintings, the courtroom gallery was decked out with beautiful Christmas trees, which different groups and businesses from the area donated $50.00 to decorate in their very thoughtful and inspiring themes. The Museum committee brought a good ole fashion Christmas theme to its displays for the event and volunteered to help us at the door which was greatly appreciated.
The library handed out over 110 craft kits to visitors and Bick’s Drugstore donated the goodies for the treat bags that were handed out by the Restoration committee. Thank you to the library and board and Bick’s for the many smiles these brought. The Festival of Trees will continue to be on display for the month of December. Anyone wanting to get into the
Christmas spirit are welcome to view the trees and tour the decorated museum rooms during business hours, Monday to Friday from 8:30 am –12:00 pm & 1:00 pm – 4:30 pm. Anyone 12 and over, please bring ID and your vaccine verification with you.
Remember to cast your vote for your favorite tree by placing your donation in the voting cans. So far, the Festival of Trees has raised almost $2500 to go towards rebuilding the Courthouse stairs.
The second fundraiser was the “Good Old Fashioned Christmas Party” which was held on Saturday, December 3rd. Every one there was able to enjoy a scrumptious meal provided by Jan Taylor Catering and great entertainment provided by the band “The Bromantics”.
Thank you to everyone who attended and supported the various fundraisers included in the evening. Many thanks to all the businesses and individuals that supported us through donations towards our silent auction tables as well. With this fundraising event, we were able to raise just over $9100.00 to go towards rebuilding the Courthouse stairs.
We would also like to say a big thank you all the individuals, groups & businesses who have contributed to the stair project through monetary donations totalling just over $5700 so far. Your support is greatly appreciated!
After the stairs are replaced, KCRS will continue fundraising for the cost of the various remaining restoration items. We have recently launched our “FRIENDS OF THE
COURTHOUSE CAMPAIGN”. Please help us preserve this beautiful building by sending a donation to the Town of Kerrobert via e-transfer to kcrs@sasktel.net or by cheque (please make payable to Town of Kerrobert) or a Visa payment at the Town office. Make sure you include your name and address and memo mentioning the donation is for Friends of the Courthouse Campaign, so that you can received your tax receipt for any donations over $20.00! Look for updates and upcoming fundraisers on our Facebook page as well.
Thank you for your ongoing support to help us preserve the Kerrobert Courthouse for future generations to enjoy its grandeur, history and beauty.
The K ob t C rth se Rest ati Society w ld like to say
TO OUR SILENT AUCTION DONORS FOR OUR CHRISTMAS PARTY:
Bahm’s Autobody
Blackrock Automation
Bonnah Busch
Champion X
Chris Hodge
Crafty Business
D’Lux Archery & Hardware
Dakota’s Massage
Easy as Pi Eavestroughing
Fran Schlosser
Golden Prairie Lodge
Hallmade Creations
HomeQuarter Woodshop
Kerrobert Credit Union
Kerrobert Paint & Body
Kerrobert Reddi Mart
Kinsmen Club of Kerrobert
LOL Club
Massage Therapy by Ronda
Men Who Paint
Mike & Rayanne Mitchell
Myrna & Adgey Kissick
Nevaeh Wellness Spa
Prairie Sky Treasures
Ravenwood Developers
Rev Energy Services
RM of Mariposa No. 350
Robin Volk Hair
Sandy Smith
This Little Light Photography
Town of Kerrobert
Tralapa
Victoria Knorr
Wirework Designs
Zero Clothing Co.
Keith Allan Aldridge Oct. 10, 1932- Dec. 9, 2021
The family of Keith Aldridge is saddened to announce his death on December 9th, 2021, at Kerrobert with his family at his side. He was 89 years old.
Keith Allan Aldridge was born in Churchbridge, SK on October 10, 1932 to Thelma and Walter Aldridge. The family moved to Plenty where Keith attended school. In 1953 he married Joy Arnold of Kelfield, where they raised their family of four on the family farm.
Keith loved farming and was very forward thinking in his practices including soil conservation. He was active with Save Our Soils in the ‘80’s. He and Joy worked tirelessly planting thousands of trees and cultivating a beautiful farmyard with trees, perennials and shrubs of all kinds.
Keith was the drummer with the “Just Us Five” orchestra for many years and travelled all over Saskatchewan and into Alberta.
Many young couples danced their first dance as a married couple to the sound of “Just Us Five”. This resulted in his radio call name of “Drummer Boy”. Later he played with various bands and entertained for seniors. Joy and Keith also enjoyed many years of dancing at local dance club dances.
Sports played a large part in his life, baseball, hockey, curling, golfing, downhill skiing and even water skiing. He was an avid fan of any game on TV especially the Roughriders.
Joy and Keith’s travelling took them across Canada, the US and abroad. Cruises to Alaska and to South America were some of their favorites. Also, many happy memories were made at their cabin at Kimball Lake.
Keith was a talented woodworker, and each family member has received some of his beautiful work. He also donated pieces to many fundraisers.
Keith loved his large extended family. The more the merrier. His grandchildren and great-grandchildren were a delight to him.
Keith is survived by his wife Joy of 68 years, his daughter Mitzi (Jim Gilroy), children: Melanie (Lee Hopaluk) son Koti; Darcy (Amanda Barker) daughter Madisen: Carmen (David Feist) son Davin, daughters Taylor and Jorja; Brent (Traci) son Sawyer, daughters Sage, Eden, Arabella and Audyn; daughter Patti (Allen Turk), children: Ryan (Janelle) sons Isaac, Cooper and Ol-
Delhommeau retires from the Luseland Housing Authority
On December 14, 2021, a small event was held for Victor Delhommeau in recognition of his retirement from the Luseland Housing Authority after an outstanding 37 years and 5 months of dedicated volunteer service.
In 1984, Victor was part of an initiative to bring safe and affordable housing to seniors in Luseland, thus helping to create the Luseland Housing Authority, which is part of the Saskatchewan Housing Corporation. Ten new semi-detached senior residences were constructed and officially handed to the Luseland Housing Authority on July 10, 1984. Even before occupancy started, the waiting list was full of seniors, requiring affordable housing with zero maintenance worries.
Over the years the Luseland Housing Authority expanded its portfolio to include a brand new four unit building with common room facilities, and nine family units. Luseland became one of several towns in Saskatchewan to deliver safe and adequate housing to families, seniors and people with disabilities experiencing low income who otherwise can not afford suitable shelter. Luseland Housing Authority prioritizes families and individuals in greatest housing need for placement in social housing, including families in crisis, people who are temporarily homeless, and those fleeing domestic violence. Rent is subsidized according to the degree of financial need.
iver and daughter Ivy; Megan; son Nix; daughter Judy (Darrell Dyck), children: Desirée (Terrance Critchley) daughter Olivia; Matthew (Emily) daughters Lakelyn and Londyn: and son Trevor (Tracy), daughters Kathryn and Mackenzie (Justin Chaskavich); sisters-in-law Eleanor Aldridge and Marlene McCarthy, sister-in-law and brotherin-law Jean and Harold Bennett, sister-in-law and brother-in-law Ishbel and Calvin Arnold and numerous nieces and nephews.
Keith was predeceased by his sister and brother-in-law: Shirley and Gordon Thompson, his brothers: Bryan and sister -in-law Joan, Devere and sister-in-law Margie, Rae, nephew Dean and brother-inlaw Wes McCarthy.
Interment will take place at the Kelfield cemetery at 11 a.m. Thursday, December 16th, 2021. A service of remembrance will be held at Plenty United Church at 2 p.m. A social will follow the service at Kelfield Community Hall.
Donations may be made in memory of Keith to, Pioneer Haven in Kerrobert (Residents Fund), or charity of your choice.
Funeral arrangements have been entrusted to:
Victor’s expertise in finance, client relations and government management were integral to the development and ongoing success of the Luseland Housing Authority. His guiding hand during almost 40 years of volunteer service - 20 years as chairperson - with the LHA will be profoundly missed. Victor was presented with a desk clock as a long service award, as well as a congratulatory letter from the Saskatchewan government.
At this time a warm welcome is extended to Bill Holton who has agreed to join the current board of the Luseland Housing Authority which consists of newly appointed chairperson, Alvin Bekemeier; board members Ruth Hardcastle, Judy Frehlich and Deanne Campbell.
Obituary
PHOTO: New chairperson, Alvin Bekemeier (right), presented the clock to Victor Delhommeau, former chairperson.
OPINION
CHECK IT OUT with Joan Janzen
Christmas in No Man’s Land
AsChristmas approached, a mom constantly reminded her 4-year-old that Santa was watching her. When the pre-schooler finally visited Santa, she hopped off his lap, and said, “Oh and Santa, you don’t have to watch me anymore ... I’m always good.”
We’re all a lot like that 4-year-old, believing we’re all ‘good’ in spite of all the division we’re seeing play out in our world. Both the politically left-leaning and right-leaning, the socialists and the capitalists, western Canadians and
eastern Canadians, those in favour of mandates and those who aren’t, all appear unable to come together and reconcile with one another. The divisions are blatantly obvious, just as they were over a century ago.
In the summer of 1914, the countries of Europe went to war, believing the conflict would be over by Dec. 25. By December, trench warfare had settled in; soldiers were killing their enemies. Heavy rain created mass mud in the the trenches and No Man’s Land that separated the opposing sides, making life miserable for all.
Pope Benedict XV’s plea to the leaders of Europe for a truce on Dec. 25, was ignored, however the German emperor tried to boost morale by sending Christmas trees to the front. The Germans sang hymns such as “Stille Nacht” and voices on the Allied lines responded by singing “Silent Night”. Many
Germans had worked in Britain before the war, so were able to communicate in English.
Lower ranking British officers defied the authority of higher ranking officers, and ordered their men not to fire unless fired upon. Early Christmas Day German soldiers responded, emerging from their trenches and waving their arms to show they meant no harm. The enemies met in No Man’s Land where they played football and shared food and drink. They held joint services to bury their dead and reinforced their trenches.
Among the units who observed the cease-fire, there were men who didn’t approve. Hitler (a dispatch runner at the time) was one of those who disapproved. British and German generals quickly took steps to ensure no future fraternization between their men would occur. There were no Christmas truces held in 1915 and beyond.
But on that momentous 1914 Christmas morning, the soldiers couldn’t believe it was happening, as the celebration of the birth of Christ brought them together, as nothing else could. Jesus came over 2,000 years ago, and is still offering reconciliation to people all over the earth, first of all to Himself and then among the people on earth.
The soldiers on both sides of No Man’s Land were hungry for reconciliation, fellowship and family. A quote I read appropriately says, “The spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind”.
This Christmas I leave you with an ancient song, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward humankind.” May it live on in our hearts and be practically applied in our lives, so we can tell Santa he doesn’t have to watch us anymore.
You can contact me at joanjanzen@yahoo.com
www.energydodge.ca
Merry Christmas folks…
By Murray Mandryk Political Columnist
For the second straight year, about the only gift appropriate for both Saskatchewan politicians and the people as a whole seems to be the gift of good health.
This is second consecutive year in which COVID-19 is dampening Christmas merriment.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. This was going to be the year when the virus would run its course and vaccines — a newly arriving miracle a year — would relegate COVID-19 to a chapter of our history. It didn’t yet worked out that way.
But maybe because of COVID-19, we have learned to more appreciate our health, the things we do have and the people around us.
For that reason, maybe we should appreciate people we don’t normally appreciate … like our politicians.
So in both the spirit of the season where traditions are a big part of our annual celebration, let us again offer gifts to deserving politicians who have often been treated less kindly in this space.
Let us begin with Premier Scott Moe, who was under siege for much of 2021 from both people who said he wasn’t doing enough to curb the spread of COVID-19 and those who argued he was doing too much.
Whether he did actually get the timing right can be a debate for any another day. But for today, kudos the Premier for having the courage impose restrictions until July 11th and re-impose them in September to stop swelling case counts and deaths. Neither choice was easy.
Nor were the choices that had to be made by Health Minister Paul Merriman easy. Merriman often came under fire for not being firmer on restrictions that many argue resulted in overcrowded ICUs.
Further kudos to Merriman for the heartfelt kindness he demonstrated in his change of heart that resulted in the decision for taxpayers to cover the Finn family’s crippling $832,000 US medical bill for a needed procedure for their son Conner.
It was a year in which most politicians came under fire for one COVID-19-related issue or another.
Many argue Education Minister Dustin Duncan was wrong to send is letter to school boards saying they must allowed to partake in extra-curricular activities, even if they were not vaccinated. While criticized for undermining health authorities, Duncan was firm in standing up for the principle of children having a normal year.
But full credit to Opposition leader Ryan Meili and his small NDP caucus for holding the government’s feet to the fire on these issues. As noted by Moe, this is the job of the Opposition and — for the most part — they did it well.
Special kudos goes to Meili and the NDP for taking on Policing and Corrections Minister Christine Tell and Opposition House Leader Jeremy Harrison on the still-unexplained bill that takes security responsibilities away from the Sergeant-at-Arms.
We would be remiss in not thanking Speaker Randy Weekes and Sergeant-at-Arms Terry Quinn and his staff for the unbiased and professional way they conducted themselves — especially, during this debate.
It was a tough year for many, including Finance Minister Donna Harpauer who contended with a 2.7-billion deficit and Agriculture Minister David Merit who contended with a drought that contributed to that deficit.
While it seems doubtful that Harpauer and Merit will be exchanging Christmas cards with the Agriculture Producers Association of Saskatchewan (APAS), credit to both politicians for how they have handled this tough year.
It was tough year for issues in nursing homes, in group homes for intellectually challenged people and on First Nations where residential school graves were discovered. Thanks to Moe, and ministers Everett Hindley, Lori Carr and Don McMorris for their handling of these matters.
And thanks to all in what was a tough 2021. May 2022 be a better year.
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Our office will be closed Dec. 23 - Jan. 2
There will be no paper printed the weeks of December 27th or January 3rd. The first edition of the new year will be MONDAY, JANUARY 10th.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
LUSELAND VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT
Back row (Left to Right)
Historic schools brought back to life
Garrett Flueny, Jayden Olfert
Matthew Siwak (Lieutenant)
Steven Meissner, Brenden Obrigewitch
Kathy and Keith Warrington had a dream of restoring two old one-room schools and inviting people inside once again. That dream materialized this summer when Merid & Magna Historic Retreat opened, enabling guests to enjoy a visit on the Warrington’s 2.3 acres of wide-open prairie. Their retreat is a fortyfive-minute drive west of Kindersley and one mile north of the number 7 highway. The Warrington’s farm is located across the road from the schools. Keith has farmed and ranched in this area his entire life.
Merid School was originally constructed in 1912. The 1200 square foot building is all that remains of what was once the village of Merid. Many of Keith Warrington’s family members lived in that community and attended school there years ago.
“In 1989 Merid School was formally closed following a long life as a school, church and community centre. It fell into a state of disrepair, and a decision had to be made whether to allow it to decay beyond repair or try to save what we could,” Kathy explained. The Warringtons purchased the school and its 2.3 acres from Sun West School Division in 2015.
The second school was originally built in 1911 in the RM of Milton No. 292. Its Latin name “Magna Bonum School” means “great and good,” expressing respect for goodness of life. This 700 square foot building was originally located north of Marengo. In the 1960’s it was moved to the old schoolyard in Marengo, along with other one-room schools, after the base opened in Alsask. Keith Warrington recalls attending Magna Bonum School in Grades 1 and 2.
In the 1980’s the Magna Bonum School was purchased by Harold Schmalzbauer, who donated it to the Marengo United Church, where it was used as a hall. After many years of use, the church was removed, and the building was empty.
“In 2016, the new owners of the property wanted the school torn down, but we offered to move it beside the Merid School and save it from demolition,” Kathy said. The Warringtons began restoring the school on May 9, 2016.
Making their dream become a reality involved a lot of hard work. “We began slowly stripping back the layers to find anything original that we could salvage,” Kathy said. Pigeons had moved into the building. “I must have seen something that no one else saw when shovelling all the pigeon droppings out of the building.” And they shovelled loads of pigeon manure!
“The roof was caving in and had to be replaced. It was a huge job, far bigger than I thought it would be,” Kathy said. They had to strip all the renovations from the 1960s to get to the original layer.
Renovations were finally completed in 2021. Now, these schools have been completely reimagined into the beautiful spaces they are today! “There’s a lot of schools that have been turned into granaries, fallen into disrepair or pushed over. There’s not that many of them left, so it was nice to save two of them,” Kathy said.
“We worked hard to keep the originality of the schools. The windows are the original size and in the original location,” she explained. They also used the original beams, exposed brick chimney and massive vaulted ceilings. The result is cozy and comfortable accommodations nestled in a quiet, peaceful setting. There are also handmade quilts available for guests to snuggle into, which were made by Keith’s aunt, who had attended Merid School.
Merid School can now accommodate 70 guests and has sleeping accommodations for four, while Magna Bonum School has sleeping accommodations for six. There’s also space available for people to bring their RV’s and trailers. Merid & Magna Historic Retreat opened at the end of August this year.
Devon Townsend
Front Row (Left to Right)
Nick Anderson Brad Galbraith (Captain)
Kathy said ninety percent of their Air B&B guests come from Calgary and Saskatoon. “It’s becoming a destination,” Kathy said. The facility hosted a couple of weddings, birthday parties, anniversaries, family reunions, and sleepovers for girlfriends, and people have also used it for photoshoots. A twelve-foot Christmas tree and decorations provide a beautiful backdrop for photos.
Matthew Rumohr (Chief)
Missing:
Randy Gottfried, Brian Gottfried
Matthew Thrun, Garret Walford
“We had a remembrance of life for one of the pioneer ladies who went to school here,” Kathy added. “We have bookings just about every month.”
Christopher Brost, Kevin Sloboda
Austin Gleave, Adam Franko
Anyone interested in using this facility can call Keith and Kathy Warrington at 306-460-6426, or check out the Merid & Magna Facebook page.
Neil Kennedy, Koby Reiber
Keagan Bazylinski , Kirk Meyer
Tyler Srigley, Ryan Webber
Merid School when it was used as a school.
Kathy and Keith Warrington, owners of Merid & Magna
Merid School as it looks today.
Local author publishes her first novel
JOAN JANZEN
Your Southwest Media Group
Jessica Wagner, who lives in the Luseland area, had a story that had to be told. “During the last couple of years of my life, I realized I personally needed this story for my own life, and I hope other people will discover the same thing,” Jessica said. The story she is referring to is her debut novel “Pilgrim: Book 1 of The Lodestone Chronicles”. This self-published novel has been released as an eBook and will be released in paperback and audiobook in a few weeks time.
Jessica says her book is an easy read, approximately 210 pages, suitable for young adults. So far everybody’s excited to read it,” Jessica said. She laughed about a friend’s evaluation of the book, who said, “This is actually good!” The honesty of friends is always appreciated.
Jessica’s book is a fantasy novel, about a young woman who has been born into an anointed role, and is meant to help her people be freed from evil forces. “The book looks at her struggle ... whether or not she’s going to accept that responsibility,” Jessica explained. The story depicts fears that prevent her from stepping up to the plate.
“It’s scary to do the right thing in life, but finding peace in being the person you’re meant to be is worth it,” Jessica said. The story takes the main character on a journey through a fantasy world, fighting battles and falling in love and having a baby.
Jessica began writing the story when she was in college, but she says the story looked a lot different back then. “Part of it was due to the discovery that I can’t let fear keep me from doing the things I love, and from being the person my family needs me to be,” Jessica said.
Originally from Alberta, Jessica’s move to Kerrobert and then the Luseland area, had a significant impact on her writing. “Coming to a new community and meeting some really great people who encouraged me to write has been a huge encouragement to me,” she said.
A long time friend created the artwork for the cover of Jessica’s book, and she also enlisted the help of a couple of professional editors. “Editing was probably the hardest part of the process for me. I know what I want it to look like, but trying to communicate that to others can be challenging,” she said.
“It took a village to keep me encouraged in the arduous journey, of not only writing and editing a novel, but also researching self-publishing and then applying that research,” she said.
The encouragement of friends is obviously a powerful tool because Jessica is already working on her second novel. “I’m working on book number two now ... probably have it half finished. The series will follow the daughter of the main character in book one.”
Jessica’s book is published via Kindle Direct Publishing and Kobo. It sounds like an interesting read for fantasy-loving enthusiasts.
1. MOVIES: What is the name of the department store where Kris Kringle works in the 1947 “Miracle on 34th Street”?
2. LANGUAGE: What is the English equivalent of the Latin phrase, “Cui bono”?
3. TELEVISION: Why do the other reindeer tease Rudolph in the Christmas TV movie?
4. AD SLOGANS: Which family restaurant advertises itself as a place “where a kid can be a kid”?
5. ASTRONOMY: What is a sunspot?
6. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president was a classically trained pianist?
7. THEATER: What musical features a group of women called The Schuyler Sisters?
8. FOOD & DRINK: What is a smorgasbord?
9. GEOGRAPHY: In what body of water does the island of Barbados lie?
10. LITERATURE: Which famous 19th-century novel begins with the line, “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents.” © 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.
Macy’s 2. Who benefits? 3. Rudolph has a shiny red nose
Chuck E. Cheese
A cooler, darker area on the surface of the sun
Richard Nixon, who also could play four other instruments
“Hamilton” 8. A buffet with a variety of dishes 9. Caribbean Sea 10. “Little Women,” by Louisa May Alcott
Sports with Bruce Penton
Year in Review: Chuckles Everywhere
Best of 2021: A selection of the top quips, quotes and anecdotes from the first six months of the year:
• English pro golfer Eddie Pepperell, on Twitter, prior to a December tournament in Dubai: “I’m trialing a 48-inch driver this week so if you’re the owner of any property at Jumeirah, board it up.”
• Gary Bachman, via Facebook, after Anthony Davis spent part of the Lakers’ final preseason game trimming his toenails on the bench: “Perhaps he should be traded to the Clippers.”
• The late Ed Chynoweth, president of the Western Hockey League, musing about resigning in the 1970s, as detailed in Gregg Drinnan’s excellent history of the WHL “It is starting to bother me that all my friends in Saskatoon are going to the airport to take flights out for winter holidays. I go to the airport and fly to Flin Flon.”
• ESPN broadcaster Dave Pasch, to NBCsports.com, on calling college-football games remotely from home because of COVID-19 restrictions: “At least I don’t have to wait in line for the bathroom at halftime.”
• Patti Dawn Swansson, aka the River City Renegade: “It’s going to be weird seeing Zdeno Chara in Washington Capitals garb this winter.
It’ll be kind of like Pope Francis holding mass in Wrangler jeans, Tony Lama snake skin boots and a Stetson instead of his robe and pointy hat.”
• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon. com, on rumours the moribund Lions might be looking to trade QB Matthew Stafford: “I do not know if (Detroit) fans should be thrilled about that or not, but I think Matthew Stafford should be elated.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “The Tampa Bay-New Orleans playoff game featured quarterbacks Tom Brady and Drew Brees, aged 43 and 42 respectively. You (could have placed) a bet in Las Vegas on which one is the first one to walk into the huddle and say, ‘Now why did I come in here?’
• RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “A spicy peanut butter six times hotter than the strongest chili was being sold in England under the label Instant Regret. No, wait — that may be the name of a new Jacksonville Jaguars season ticket package.”
• Kaseberg again: “O.J. Simpson just posted a video of him getting the COVID-19 vaccination. Apparently priority is given to double-murderers over the age of 72.”
• Another one from Patti Dawn Swansson, on the person who took a post-fight swing at Mike
Tyson while the former champ was signing autographs following his recent fight with Roy Jones Jr.: “No arrests have been made, but police are searching for a man who’s lost his mind.”
• Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports, on the scrambling required by the two Super Bowl quarterbacks: (Patrick) Mahomes was running for his life, while (Tom) Brady had time to make himself a sandwich.”
• Kaseberg again: “Not to say Tom Brady is getting up there, but when they asked, ‘Tom Brady, you just won the Super Bowl. Where are you going now?’ Brady said, ‘Leave me alone, Jeopardy is on.’”
• RJ Currie again: “An ESPN talking head called one of Rob Gronkowski’s nightclub partying videos, ‘Just a man living the American dream.’ Which in Gronk’s case appears to be life, liberty and the pursuit of happy hour.”
• Swansson again, on Mike Babcock returning to his roots by agreeing to be head coach of the University of Saskatchewan Huskies: “How fitting that an old-school coach would return to his old school.”
• Bucs QB Tom Brady, 43, when chubby 42-year-old CBS ‘Late Late Show’ host James Corden asked if Corden could be drafted into the NFL: “You might be able
to play for the Jets.”
• Bruce Arthur of the Toronto Star, on Twitter: “Curling observation: Kevin Koe, whether winning or losing, often looks like he’s wondering if he left the stove on.”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, via Facebook, on the Rover’s search for water on Mars: “They should’ve sent me there with my golf clubs. I’d have found water by my third tee shot.”
• Currie again: “A brawl reportedly broke out at a New Hampshire retirement centre during a bingo game. It looked like a hockey fight, except with more teeth.”
• Posted on the Lethbridge Hurricanes’ scoreboard during a fan-less hockey game: “Free beer for all in attendance.”
• Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Gov. Greg Abbott has lifted all COVID-19 restrictions in the Lone Star State, meaning the Texas Rangers’ home opener might be a sellout. The rules there are now so lenient that even catcher’s masks aren’t mandatory.”
• Headline at Fark. com: “NFL owners approve increased profits for NFL owners.”
• Patti Dawn Swansson again, on squeakyclean Edmonton Oilers star Connor McDavid getting fined $5,000 for elbowing an opponent in the face: “I couldn’t have
been more surprised had I found a copy of ‘Sinatra: The Rapper Years’ at my local vinyl store.”
• Doug Robinson of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, not looking forward to Zach Wilson’s possible NFL-draft destiny: “The Jets are to quarterbacks what Larry King was to marriage.”
• Steve Simmons of SunMedia, on the apparent grumpiness of a certain NHLer: “If Jeff Carter walks into a restaurant in Pittsburgh late in the afternoon do they cancel happy hour?”
• Another one from RJ Currie: “MLB hired former WWE ‘sizzle planner’ Brian Stedman for league strategy and development. Soon, instead of a manager sitting a pitcher down, he’ll come out and hit him with a chair.”
• Young fan’s sign at a Cubs game: “Shhhhhh! I’m remote learning.”
• Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com, on CDC guidelines now saying people can be outside without a mask if they’re not in a crowd: “So Marlins fans should be fine.”
• Ryan French, who runs the Monday Q Info Twitter feed, on Monday qualifying for a PGA Tour event: “It’s like going in a free-throw contest to play for the Lakers.”
• One more from Swansson: “You’ve heard of the Gordie Howe hat trick, we now have the Phil Kessel hat trick: 900 points, 900 consecutive games, 900 hot dogs.”
• Jack Finarelli again, on proposals to allow even more instant-replay reviews in college basketball: “We need this as much as Olympic swimming events need lifeguards.”
• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle,
on Colin Kaepernick still unable to find employment in the NFL: “Good lord. Spouse-beaters, serial druggies, team cancers, dog killers — all are welcome in the NFL! But if you quietly take a knee, God will wreak vengeance on your team!”
• Alex Kaseberg again: “MLB has had six no-hitters already. Normally they only have two no-hitters a year and sometimes none. Who would have guessed a symptom of COVID-19 would be batters hitting like one of the Kardashian sisters?”
• Another one from Steve Simmons, on double threat Shohei Ohtani of baseball’s Los Angeles Angels: “In simpler Toronto terms, he is Vladimir Guerrero Jr. and Hyun-jin Ryu all in one person.”
• Dwight Perry again: “Browns running back Nick Chubb will soon have his own breakfast cereal, called ‘Chubb Crunch.’ Some other possibilities: Ricky Williams: Weedies; Sidney Crosby: ForeChex; Philadelphia fans: Jeerios.”
• Headline at fark. com: “Minnesota catcher needed surgery after a foul tip into the Twins.”
• Alex Meyers of Golf Digest, on Jon Rahm being told greenside that he had tested positive for COVID-19 and was out of the Memorial tournament: “The leader in the clubhouse was no longer even welcome in the clubhouse.”
• Mike Whan, incoming USGA executive director, who is a fan of the use of range finders in the pro game: “There is nothing worse on TV than watching a golfer and caddie do arithmetic.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@ yahoo.ca
