Don’t be choosy! You are new to your host country and this is your chance to learn and experience as much as you can, to know and understand what’s going on around you.
L
et’s talk about culture’s role! In some cultures… People become friends easily. They form friendships with everyone they meet, usually by inviting new neighbors or friends over for coffee – and it can sometimes be impolite to refuse. Individuals might interact very little with neighbors or friends they have in common. Or they might not contact people they consider strangers and instead count only the people they have known for years as friends. Sometimes after you become friends you might be able to ask for special favors, such as getting a ride, sharing personal belongings or borrowing money for a bus ride. This is not always a general rule. You need to do what you feel most comfortable doing. If you do not feel safe or happy sharing your things you can always politely explain why. Only friends who have known each other for a long time ask each other for special favors. Again, you need to feel okay with this. Under no circumstances should you feel forced to share money or belongings.
“I think the two most important things that you need to learn while you’re abroad is patience and acceptance. In the beginning I wanted everything to happen quickly. I expected too much from myself and from others. After two weeks of school I was desperate because I had not that many friends yet. I talked with some people about my fear and my disappointment and they all told me I could not expect to have best friends after two weeks in school. I wanted everything to be fine, to be perfect and I blamed myself if something was not like it should be. But what I learned is that everything needs time and you need to accept that you cannot change how things go. Sometimes you should wait instead of worrying.” ––Scarlet from Switzerland (exchange to Denmark) Another way to make friends is to take advantage of special opportunities such as school field trips, cultural contests, tutoring, after-school events, volunteering or working on the school newspaper, for example. In some countries where public transportation is not widely used, friends might want you to drive somewhere to meet up or offer to lend you their car. Since traffic laws and driving rules vary widely from country to country, YFU students are not allowed to drive under any circumstances. If you are asked to meet up somewhere far away from your host family’s house, ask your friends or your host family for a ride or seek out public transportation. © Youth For Understanding International Educational Services
37