Passover is a unique time of year for the Jewish people. It is a time to get together with family and friends to celebrate the culture, our traditions, and the history of our people.
As we sit around the Seder table, we recall our humble beginnings as a nation enslaved. We recount how the G-d of our Forefathers intervened, broke the chains shackling our feet, and led us out to freedom. During Passover, our being Jewish takes on a renewed importance and centrality in our lives.
It is with this in mind that we proudly present Partners Detroit’s newest publication, One People. With a focus on what we have in common, and an appreciation of our unique differences, One People magazine is full of uplifting, enlightening, and helpful articles to enhance your Passover season. I hope it will enhance your own personal celebration of our Season of Redemption.
Wishing you and your family a happy Passover,
On behalf of Partners Detroit, it is my great honor to invite you on a journey with One People magazine! This jam-packed publication is filled with fantastic content to enrich your Passover experience.
Last October, I visited Detroit to meet the team and was immediately struck by the genuine warmth, authenticity, and camaraderie that reflect the Detroit Jewish community. It was then that One People was born.
One People magazine falls under the auspices of Partners Detroit, a vibrant and dynamic organization that has impacted thousands of lives in the Detroit Metro area over the last 30 years. Our magazine embodies our raison d’être, which is to create a welcoming space for all Jews. As one people united, we can achieve great things.
We wanted the magazine to reflect these values of unity in our community, and we have worked hard to bring you articles that resonate with what
it means to be a proud and practicing 21stcentury Jew. Our writers reflect the breadth and beauty within our global Jewish community, and the content spans a wide variety of compelling topics. We are grateful to our incredible list of contributors who have stepped up to the plate with such generosity, ensuring we were able to deliver a first-class publication to you.
At its core, the overwhelming mitzvah (commandment) that we have at the Seder is to tell the story of the Exodus.
The Exodus is the greatest miracle that we, as a people, have experienced on a macro level. The cataclysmic miracle began with our leaving Egypt and continued with the splitting of the sea. Although it could be considered a separate miracle, the Sinai revelation is, in essence, the continuation of the miracle of the Exodus. G-d took us out of Egypt so that he could give us the Torah and enter into an eternal covenant with us.
Partners offers us the opportunity to explore that covenant. It provides us with many programs designed to strengthen our bond with G-d and remind us why we were
taken out of the dark pits of Egypt, where we were elevated to great heights—as the nation who will forever wear G-d’s name with pride and responsibility.
We have endeavored to bring you a magazine that will inspire you to connect to the spark of G-d that rests in every Jewish soul. The spark that remembers why we left Egypt in the first place, a place devoid of spirituality, to enter into a sacred relationship with G-d. Deep down, every Jewish soul can hear those often-forgotten messages to come home to the place where we belong.
This Passover, come home.
Wishing you all a chag Kasher Ve’sameach, a happy, connected, and inspired Passover! May I recommend curling up on the sofa with a cup of coffee, a coconut macaroon and a copy of One People. Just a Passover holiday suggestion.
Warmest,
Shira Druion
Heidi Hurwitz
DESIGN
Andrea Jonker
Contributors
Jordana Baruchov
Dassie Bausk
Jordan Behaar
Sabrina Bendory
Rabbi Leiby Burnham
Rabbi Avi Cohen
Rachel Devries
Mickey Eizelman
Rabbi Chaim Fink
Shaindel Fink
Deena Frankel
Yoel Gold
SA Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein
Racheli Indig
Aliza Bracha Klein
Rabbi Paysach Krohn
Rabbi Shlomo Landau
Rabbi Dr. Ivan Lerner
Aryeh Lightstone
Jennifer Lovy
Yaacov Lyons
Jill Menuck
Rabbi Shragie Myers
Nisim Nesimov
Sara Yoheved Rigler
Nechama Sova
Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz
10. THE ABRAHAM ACCORDS 30 MONTHS ON
28. THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING ME DETROIT
38. INSPIRATION AND DISAPPOINTMENT
60. THE SECRET OF THE AFIKOMEN
70. THE SPIRITUAL GPS 96. WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN “THE ONE” 98. HOME IMPROVEMENTS
WOMEN’S WISDOM
74. THE ROLE OF THE JEWISH MOTHER
84. FORMING CONNECTIONS, CREATING LIFELONG FRIENDSHIPS
88. WONDER WOMEN
90. SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND
PARTNERS: THE INSIDE SCOOP
06. WHY SAY THANK YOU?
THE SEDER STEPS IN TWITTER BYTES
14. WHY IS THIS NIGHT DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER NIGHTS?
34. OFF THE GRID
46. WELCOME TO PARTNERS DETROIT
56. FROM STUDENT TO TEACHER
50. MY PARTNERS JOURNEY
92. YOUNG PROFESSIONALS UPDATE
FOOD
102. RECIPES
SOUL & SPIRITUALITY
32. A YOEL GOLD STORY
If G-d put us in Egypt in the first place, why should we say thank you when He finally set us free?
BY RABBI CHAIM FINK
The group already felt pushed to their limits before the tortures began. Their tormentor forced them to keep moving at the speed of light. He’d shout at them: “Faster, faster! This is not good enough.” As the day turned to night, their suffering did not wane. They were on the brink of collapse, as exhaustion began to set in. The doctor standing by urged the sadistic man to put an end to their abuse. But despite their fatigue, he continued to threaten them and demanded more. They were not sure how much more they could take; some of them could barely remain standing on their feet. Others gasped for air as they felt themselves choking on their own phlegm. Finally, in the wee hours of the night, when one couldn’t be sure if it was indeed night, or perhaps had crossed over into morning, he allowed them to give rest to their half-broken bodies.
When their misery finally comes to a close, how would we imagine this group of guys to react? Would they say thank you for finally receiving permission to go to bed? Or, more likely, would they at least be thinking, not having the temerity to articulate, their feelings of anger over having been put through this grueling torture? The latter response seems more plausible.
It is with this introduction that I’d like to pose a question about the celebration and gratitude that we practice over the course of the Passover holiday.
The persecution of the Israelites in Egypt didn’t come as a surprise. It actually had been foretold to
Abraham hundreds of years before it happened. G-d told Abraham that his offspring would one day be strangers in a foreign land, where they’d be enslaved and afflicted. Our stay in Egypt was part of a Divine plan that was orchestrated by G-d. So why is it that when He took us out, after 210 years, we are expected to be grateful and sing songs of thanks at our Passover Seder? Wasn’t it G-d Who put us there in the first place? When the door is finally opened and we stagger out of that wretched and dark experience, how can we be expected to say thank you?
Please bear with me as I tell a similar story to the one with which I began. We have the same scenario: a group of young men being pushed past the limits of what they thought their bodies could tolerate. Again and again, they are forced to ignore the shrill screams that the deep burn in their muscles shout at them. The man in the front shows no mercy, demanding repetitions of their movements. But this time, the man at the front of the rink is the new coach of the USA Olympic ice hockey team. He has a plan for how they are going to beat the seemingly invincible Soviet team at the 1980 Olympic Games. He’s going to build their strength, making them stronger than any of their opponents, conditioning their muscles to last for the entire game. He is going to push them past the point that they thought possible. The coach is Herb Brooks, and he will eventually lead the USA team to win the gold medal. True, they have to endure a great deal of pain and suffering, but when they realize what they gained from it all, then,
eventually, they will feel appreciation not only for the moment when he allows them to rest their weary bodies and go to bed, but also for the challenge of the training itself.
If, through hardship, we gain something, we can then appreciate both the struggle and the moment that the struggle has been alleviated. With this in mind, I would like to reframe my question. Rather than asking why we are thankful to G-d for taking us out from Egypt, when He was the One Who put us there in the first place, I’d like to ask, what was it that we gained in Egypt that necessitated enduring the struggle for all those years? If we can figure out how we grew as a nation, then we’ll understand why we had to be there, and we’ll be able to both thank G-d for bringing us there, and for eventually taking us out.
One of the most often repeated commandments in the Torah instructs us to never taunt the stranger. We should never use our words to hurt one who feels like an outsider, an immigrant, or a convert. Why, asks the Torah, should we, the Jewish people, be extra sensitive to the plight of one who feels like an outsider? Answers the Torah: “Because you were strangers in the land of Egypt, and you know the spirit of the outsider.” Through our own national
If we can figure out how we grew as a nation, then we’ll understand why we had to be there.
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experience as immigrants in a foreign land, never feeling like we belong, we gained a deep understanding of what it feels like to be oppressed and discriminated against. The long enduring years of servitude in Egypt impressed on the Jewish psyche a keen awareness of the pain one feels when he or she is rejected by the surrounding society. We grew into a more empathetic people, better able to feel compassion and imagine what the pain of others may feel like.
Our earliest sages teach that one of the defining character traits of the Jewish nation is that we are rachamanim – a compassionate people. Sometimes, even to our own detriment, we display a unique benevolence and innocence, and we can’t understand why others don’t feel or reciprocate in kind. The Jewish people are often the first on site when a catastrophe hits part of the world. Whether helping victims of earthquakes in Haiti, Syria, and Turkey, or supporting underdeveloped countries in Africa, Israel has been there to help. It is who we are – a kindhearted and giving people. But this lesson did not come easily to us. It was ingrained into our spiritual DNA over many harsh years when we endured the cruelty of Egyptian persecution. A very muchneeded process for us to be capable of fulfilling our role as a light unto the nations, but certainly not a very easy
pill to swallow. We gained two of our most defining traits, compassion and empathy, from our Egypt experience.
I believe there’s another dimension to the benefit we gained in Egypt. In the very first conversation that Moses had with G-d at the Burning Bush, he asks G-d what His name is. G-d responds that His name is: “I will be that which I will be.” The Talmud explains this name to mean that just as G-d is here with the Jewish people in Egypt, He will also always be with them throughout all of their future struggles. In Egypt, a faith was built within us, that even when things seem grim and hopeless, we never despair of achieving a brighter future. G-d has been with us in Egypt, and He will always be there with us. Even as Hitler’s armies swept through Europe, toppling one country after the other, even as Jews were rounded up, deported, and murdered by the tens of thousands daily, even then, we knew that our suffering was temporary. There had been inculcated deep within our souls a belief that there was a G-d with us, Who would extricate us from our plight. That faith, to always maintain hope and never despair, is something that took root within us during our Egyptian exile.
The journey of life is never a smooth one. There are times when we get lost without a map. There are times when our car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, or we get a flat tire with no spare in our trunk. There are challenges and struggles littered across the road, obstacles that we must avoid. Sometimes we endure such strong pain that we question the purpose of our lives. But we, as Jews, have the ability to look past the surface and see the situation with a broader lens. We ask ourselves why. Why would G-d, Who is kind and merciful, put us in that predicament? We can sometimes see, usually in retrospect, that there was something we gained from all the suffering. Perhaps a very difficult first marriage so that we can truly appreciate our spouse in the second one. Perhaps many years single and alone, so that when Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along, we can really appreciate their special qualities. Whatever challenge life throws our way, we ask not: “Why, G-d, did You hurt me?” but rather: “What, G-d, can l learn from this, or in which way can I grow?”
We have the ability to take all of the obstacles in our lives and turn them into experiences where we can gain something and become bigger, better people.
The Abraham Accords are now 30 months old, and they are indeed a meaningful success. They are a success for Israel, the region, and the United States of America. As they were birthed in the midst of the darkest days of COVID-19, many people are not fully aware of what the Abraham Accords are.
On August 13th, 2020, President Trump hosted a conference call between the Crown Prince of the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Mohammed Bin Zayed, and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. On the call, the leaders, led by the United States, agreed to bring the State of Israel and the United
Arab Emirates into fully normalized relations. I was blessed to be one of the few people in the Oval Office at the time of this historic phone call. In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, the instructions from the White House and the leaders of the UAE and Israel were crystal clear: go big and go fast.
Within two weeks, the first El Al flight departed Israel and landed in Abu Dhabi, the capital of the UAE, with a senior delegation of Israelis and Americans. A picture is worth a thousand words, and the image of the El Al plane with the Israeli delegation in Abu Dhabi gave international credence to the opportunities that the Abraham Accords would present.
Over the next 123 days, the Kingdom of Bahrain, Sudan, Kosovo, and the Kingdom of Morocco would join the Abraham Accords, setting into motion a new paradigm for success in the Middle East. Since the Kingdom of Morocco joined the Accords in late December of 2020, no other countries have joined the Abraham Accords, and I discuss the reasons for this in my book, Let My People Know, the inside story of the Abraham Accords.
Immediate momentum for the Abraham Accords was created by the leadership of the United States of America. With time, priorities shifted, and momentum faltered.
The long-term success of the Abraham Accords will be determined by the Accords countries themselves. This is a meaningful experiment in ‘does peace pay’. If there is a peace dividend for the Abraham Accords countries, then not only will the agreements already made stay strong, but other countries will desire to join the Accords, because they will benefit by being a part of them, and on the flip side, will miss out by not being a part of them. In order to make sure this generational opportunity for peace is rewarded, it is incumbent on those of us in the Diaspora who consider ourselves pro-Israel to bring a peace dividend
to the Accords countries.
So far, some members of the Jewish community have made a meaningful effort to contribute to this peace dividend. Many Jewish federations have made the UAE a stop on their annual missions to Israel. Pastor Hagee, the leader of Christians United for Israel, led a mission to the UAE. Many pro-Israel leadership organizations have made stops in Bahrain and Morocco as well. Recently, there was a bipartisan effort in the US Congress to establish a position of Abraham Accords Ambassador.
I don’t know if the job will be created and if it will be filled, so in the meantime, you, dear reader, have an opportunity to serve as the Ambassador for the Abraham Accords. Go visit one or more of
these countries, and if you have been, go back. When you are there, every flight attendant you meet, Uber you take, wait staff you encounter is an opportunity to express your appreciation for the Abraham Accords. Even family vacations have the ability to enhance and expand these historic Accords, especially if you make the effort to tell the people you meet in that country that you prioritized going there because of their commitment to the Abraham Accords.
I know of at least one CEO who has traveled to three of the Abraham Accords countries and has expressed her interest in furthering her company’s investment in those countries specifically because of the Abraham Accords. She expressed to the leadership of these countries that she is there because of the Accords, but while there, she discovered numerous opportunities unlocked because of the deregulation caused
by the Abraham Accords. I am not positive if history books will record the efforts of this CEO, or of the numerous community leaders who have prioritized these Abraham Accords missions, but I have seen in real-time the positive impact they have on the leadership and the population of these countries, and the neighboring countries are taking note.
For 25 years, the Oslo Accords created the lens from which Western Foreign Policy viewed the Middle East. This mostly resulted in thinking that if you can push Israel into enough concessions, the rest of the issues in the Middle East will resolve themselves. The Abraham Accords changed this failed paradigm and clearly positioned Israel as an essential part of the solution to the challenges of the Middle East on a go-forward basis.
This renewal of relations brokered
by China is creating yet another new prism from which the world will look at the Middle East. What seems clear to me as an American is, if our foreign policy changes every four to eight years, countries with a longer-term outlook, such as the monarchies in the Middle East, will choose to do business with China over the USA—a policy that they like less, as long as it is consistent will be preferable to wide swings in policies as evidenced by US elections. This is disappointing, as peace shouldn’t be a republican policy, or a democrat policy and the Abraham Accords should be championed as an American priority.
So, until we set up an official Ambassador of the Abraham Accords, you have the fortunate task of being the next Ambassador of the Abraham Accords—I hope you take that job seriously.
Aryeh Lightstone served as the Senior Advisor to U.S. Ambassador to Israel David Friedman from 2017 to 2021. During his tenure as Senior Advisor, he played a critical role in advancing bilateral U.S.-Israel relations, with a focus on economic development and technology cooperation. He was instrumental in facilitating the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem as well as its successful merger with the Jerusalem Consulate. Lightstone was later appointed as the Special Envoy for Economic Normalization. In that role, he was an integral member of the Peace to Prosperity team, leading the inaugural Abraham Accord Business Summit, directing the Abraham Fund, and serving as point person in the Middle East for the actualization of the Abraham Accords. Lightstone is the author of “Let My People Know” the inside story of the Abraham Accords. Lightstone is a proud father of four and husband to a very patient wife, Estee.
The unity of the community is palpable at the Yeshiva Beth Yehudah annual Evening of Unity.
BY RABBI SHRAGIE MYERSUnity: The quality or state of being one, single, whole, or the same. Unique parts, diverse and varied, working in unison toward a common purpose.
To experience unity is to be uplifted, because we are all linked, all created in the image of the Almighty. Our soul, our neshama, craves the uplifting feeling of unity.
We feel this unity at Orchestra Hall, as the maestro’s baton weaves together woodwinds, strings, brass, and percussion to create a magical symphony, greater than the sum of the individual instruments. We feel it at Ford Field in the roar of the crowd, at Comerica Park as the ball clears the wall, at Little Caesars Arena, as we share in the joy of a slam dunk. And we feel it in the shared comfort
of a group of friends enjoying a meal together, sharing our lives and our hopes and dreams.
The secret to this feeling of unity is the variety. If we were all exactly the same, if we had no differences at all, if the world had one color, one note— there could be no art, no beauty, no unity at all.
I feel the unity of our community most powerfully each year at the Yeshiva Beth Yehudah annual Evening of Unity. For one evening we gather together, one crowd with one purpose, supporting education for our children, building a better tomorrow.
Unity embodied, palpable, experiential. Real.
The orchestra weaves together their musical notes, setting the tone for a magical evening. The Yeshiva Boys Choir trains together for months to sing in harmony, singing songs of thanks and hope for a bright future. The vast crowd is joined together, with one shared mission and one goal: to uplift a school that stands for unity. And the audience members, from every corner of our state and country, from every faith, background, race, and religion, every political position in our local and Federal government—we all stand as one for one beautiful ideal: unity in support of education.
The Yeshiva Beth Yehudah is a Jewish day school in Southeast Michigan, the oldest Jewish day school system in the state. Over a hundred years of education, with heroes in every
generation assuming the formidable responsibility of building a better future for our children, for our community, and for our world.
It’s a beautiful evening, unlike almost anything in America today. So unique that one can be excused for asking: “Why is this night different?” What is it about this Jewish institution that unites so many from such diverse corners of our state and country, that inspires so many to attend year after year and bring friends, co-workers, and family members?
The tangible accouterments are real. A beautifully decorated venue, great food, open bars, a short program and the highlight of the evening—an uplifting and adorable boys school choir. But the intangible is what creates the magic. The feeling of belonging, of being part of something bigger, something greater, something that will have a lasting impact for generations.
The Torah teaches us that we are all created in the image of an almighty G-d, all beloved and all challenged in different ways but with one common mission: to grow as
individuals, to uplift ourselves and the world around us, and to lead by example for our children.
Just as important is the knowledge that we could have all been created exactly the same, both on the inside and on the outside, but that would have defeated the purpose! Our unity comes from our very diversity, from our differences, from what we each bring to the table. From our thousands of varied histories, talents, perspectives, and dreams, all of us add our own unique abilities and energies in support of one shared goal. That is unity.
And that is what the Yeshiva Beth Yehudah annual evening of unity means to me. An entire community, varied and different, joining together. Carrying the responsibility of infusing another generation with beautiful ethics and morals, supporting an institution that is producing young adults with the skills and self-confidence to succeed. And the acute awareness of other people’s existence in their world and of their responsibility to give back—to build an ever better world for those around them and for the future of mankind.
BY RABBI LEIBY BURNHAM
We make Kiddush over wine or grape juice, the first of the Four Cups. Preferably, we use red wine or grape juice, as it’s more symbolic of royalty, and on Seder night, we are all royals! The word Kiddush comes from holy—kedusha in Hebrew, and interestingly the word for holiness also means separated. For example, when people get betrothed, it’s called kiddushin, signifying that they are separating themselves out of the world of available men and women to be exclusively with one another.
Holiness is a construct where one endeavors to separate themselves from the mundane and be focused on elevating themselves. We start our Seder with Kiddush to signify that this experience is holy— separated. It’s not just a family get-together or communal meal, it’s an opportunity to elevate ourselves by connecting to our nation’s history and heritage! #L’chaim!
Washing of the hands. Thousands of years ago, the rabbis instituted that we should wash our hands before eating bread or wet fruits and vegetables. This, too, was connected to the idea of kedusha holiness. It ensures that we are mindful of the food we eat.
Eating is not meant to be something we do just because we’re hungry (or bored!) but rather something we do with intentionality. We pause and sanctify our hands before eating—we are about to embark on an experience of eating, which is a chain of miracles starting from how the food was grown to how it’s broken down in our bodies to keep us alive and healthy. We don’t make a bracha of Al Netilat Yadayim because we only make that bracha when washing over bread. #EatingIsAGift
We dip a vegetable in salt water. While in slavery, the Jews often only had vegetables for food. The salt water reminds us of the tears the Jews cried in Egypt during their intense suffering and slavery. And here is one powerful hint in the word karpas itself, based on the fact that every letter in the word actually means something:
Kaf Palm of hand
Reish One who is impoverished
Peh Mouth
Samech To support
When there is a Kaf Reish—an open palm of the impoverished one, but there is nothing to give, Peh Samech—the mouth can support, we can still give through encouragement.
The Jews emerged through years of slavery and tears through supporting each other and offering verbal encouragement, something that has been done throughout the ages. Most recently, so many Jews made it through the Holocaust because of the verbal support they gave to and received from one another.
We make a Borei Pri Ha’adama bracha on the vegetables and have in mind that the bracha should also cover the maror (bitter herbs). #FromTearsToJoy
We split the middle matzah and hide the larger part for the afikomen. This reminds us of Jewish slaves who had to always ration their food and hide away parts of their meager portions for later.
It also reminds us of being a free person, because a free person who is responsible for his future has to always put aside some of what he can enjoy now, for later consumption (like saving for retirement). If we constantly use everything we have for immediate pleasure, we are left hungry later. The mature person knows how to enjoy some of what he has now, and to save for the future. Living a Torah life entails not indulging in every whim and desire, not eating whatever we want and doing whatever we want, with the understanding that we are guaranteeing ourselves a greater and more fulfilling future. #BiggerPleasuresRequireInvestment
05
This step constitutes the bulk of the Seder. This is where we tell the story of redemption from Egypt in great detail. There are a few important components. We start with the difficult and end with the glorious. Nothing valuable comes easy, and redemption comes when we’re willing to undergo difficulties to achieve greatness. If the Jewish people had not suffered as they did, they would not have become as great as they are. We learned empathy and compassion by going through painful experiences together.
Additionally, the Haggadah tells us: “The more one increases their telling over the story of the redemption from Egypt, the more praiseworthy they are.” We determine how blessed we are by how much we decide to focus on and verbalize the blessings and redemption in our lives. Some always focus on the negative and they suffer for it. We focus on speaking at length of our redemption and the miracles in our lives and are blessed by it. #Don’tSpeedRead
06 07 + 08 PASSOVER
We wash our hands again! This time it is for bread, or in the case of the Passover Seder, matzah, so this time we do make the bracha of Al Netilat Yadayim. Some people have the custom that the children bring wash basins and washing cups to the table so that the adults can wash at the table, and not need to get up and go into the kitchen, because on Passover, we are royals, and you know the royals aren’t getting up to go into the kitchen! #RoyalsStayPut
This is actually two steps; one is the blessing we make on bread like we would any time we eat a bread product—Hamotzi Lechem Min Ha’aretz. And one is the special blessing we make on the mitzvah to eat matzah Asher Kidishanu Bimitzvosov Vitzivanu Al Achilas Matzah.
The story of Passover is deeply intertwined with matzah. The Jews ate it when they were slaves, their masters gave it to them because it stays in the stomach for a while, allowing the masters to feed them less. G-d commanded them to eat it with their very first Pascal offerings while they were still in Egypt. And they also ate it when they got out of Egypt and didn’t have time to let their dough rise as they rushed out of Egypt.
Matzah represents humility; it has the same ingredients as bread, but without being puffed up and filled with air bubbles. Humility is the key to redemption; until we recognize our own brokenness, we can’t be fixed. Only after recognizing how flawed I am, can I be compassionate to others with flaws. Matzah is our bread of humility, and our bread of redemption! #FixTheBreadFixTheWorld
Here we eat the bitter herbs, most commonly, romaine lettuce, which has a slightly bitter taste. We make the bracha of Asher Kidishanu Bimitzvosov Vitzivanu Al Achilas Maror. We dip the maror in charoset—a mixture of nuts, apples, cinnamon, and other spices, which reminds us of the cement the Jews used when forced to build cities for Pharaoh. All parts of the Seder are about redemption, even the maror, which commemorates the bitterness of our slavery. Life’s greatest fulfillment comes from turning challenge into opportunity, pain into triumph. #ThankfulForTheStruggles
We eat the matzah and maror together in remembrance of the Hillel sandwich that was eaten in Temple times, although the original sandwich included one more ingredient—the Pascal offering. This sandwich symbolizes the song of life, one that has high parts and low parts, the matzah of redemption and the maror of affliction. When you see the whole picture, it starts to make more sense. #SeeTheWholePicture
The festive meal! Time to bust out the chicken soup with matzah balls, and the rest of the family Passover delicacies. Interestingly, at almost all festive occasions, Judaism requires a festive meal. We don’t believe in only feeding the soul and ignoring the body. G-d made us an amalgam of body and soul, and we are meant to experience the world through both portals. We elevate the physical by feeding the body in ways that are uplifting to the soul. #GodWantsUsToEnjoy
Time to eat the afikomen. This step is often preceded by a bit of bargaining with the children who found our hidden afikomen, with the result being an adult who gets his afikomen and a child who gets a gift of sorts for finding the afikomen and giving it back. This teaches children that there is great reward and sweetness in seeking out that which is hidden, and it also teaches us that what is lost now will eventually be found and enjoyed. We had redemption from Egypt, but it appears that we are back in exile again. The afikomen also reminds us that one day, we will be “found” again, when G-d will bring us back from our “hiding” places around the world with the great Messiah! #GodPleaseFindUs
Grace after meals. This is said every time we eat a meal, but on Passover, every step is part of the redemptive process, and grace after meals takes on extra significance. Without gratitude, we don’t have redemption, because we don’t recognize how we accomplished it.
All of our achievements are a combination of what we did, and what others did to get us there. By giving proper thanks to those who helped us along the way, we truly recognize the enormity of the blessings in our life. Every meal we eat and every freedom we experience is the result of so many forces and blessings, and the more we see that, the deeper the joy, because so much was invested in us. If G-d gives me so much, he must see so much worth in me. #ThankingOthersMakesMeValueMyself
This section of the Seder is made up of singing praises to G-d. But it starts with inviting Elijah into our homes by filling Elijah’s cup with wine and “opening the door” for him. We are so thankful for where we are, but still hope for even greater redemption for us and the world, which will come with Elijah ushering in the Messianic Era, a time when the whole world will be at peace, and we will all be spiritually enlightened and empowered.
Song is a medium of great power, even more powerful than speech. In earlier parts of the Seder, we spoke of G-d’s redemption and miracles, but as we get close to the end, speech is replaced with song, and we climb to even loftier levels. #OpenYourMouthAndSing
This is the final step of the Seder. It begins with a song called Chasal Siddur Pesach, which recognizes that we have concluded all the steps required of us. We’ve eaten the matzah and maror, we’ve told the story of the Exodus, and we’ve drunk the Four Cups. We could get up and call it a night, but we don’t want to because we’re just loving the feeling of closeness with G-d, and we don’t want to get up from the table just yet.
Nirtzah means desired. We feel desired by G-d, and we desire Him in return. We could go, but instead we stay at the table and sing some more. It’s the expression of the Jewish people just wanting to hold onto the incredible love and closeness to G-d that we feel at the end of the Seder. #LetsLingerInLove
Rabbi Leiby Burnham, MSW, is a Rabbi, psychotherapist, and writer. Rabbi Burnham works as a senior educator for the Weiss Family Partners Detroit program of Yeshiva Beth Yehudah, where he does community outreach, and leads Jewish travel experiences in the US and abroad. He taught learning-disabled high school students for eight years in New York City, while receiving rabbinical training at Shor Yoshuv Institute, and obtaining his master’s degree in social work from Yeshiva University. To round out his Jewish communal experience, he spent five years working with at-risk youth in New York City, and six years volunteering with Chai Lifeline, a pioneer in social support for Jewish children suffering from serious illness. Rabbi Burnham lives in Oak Park, MI with his wife and their six children.
After miraculously crossing the Red Sea, the elevated Hebrew nation spontaneously breaks out in song, melodiously raising their voices to praise G-d.
BY YAACOV LYONS
WORSHIP: an act of religious devotion usually directed towards a deity. It may involve one or more activities such as reverence, adoration, praise, and praying.
Why do we worship? Man possesses an irrepressible desire to connect with an entity that transcends himself. He senses a churning wellspring rising from within, urgently seeking a form of expression. Through worship, man encounters an outlet for these primal urges. Its ritual gives shape and meaning to such stirrings, allowing him to access a higher power and explore the inner recesses of his soul.
The human need to worship is so deep-rooted that even supposedly atheistic cultures install their own secular idols instead of religious deities. During the French Revolution, an anti-faith Cult of Reason arose, where reason was deified and bestowed the status of a goddess. The 20th century saw communism substitute the worship of Stalin for G-d and the Communist party for religion.
Modern capitalism has spawned its own distinctive rituals of worship. The pantheon of divinities now possesses a brand new breed of demigods, including the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos. We celebrate these capitalist icons for their otherworldly intelligence and unbridled ambition, lauding their mass-marketed products as if they were sacred offerings. After all, who needs the bounty of a god when you can subscribe to Amazon Prime?
How much does what we worship tell us about ourselves? On the final day of Passover, we celebrate the event that finally brought our long and torrid encounter with Pharaoh and the ancient Egyptians to a close. The splitting of the Red Sea. Yet the biblical description of what occurs after the event is perhaps more evocative than the miracle itself. Having been saved from certain death or enslavement, miraculously crossing the Red Sea on dry land and witnessing the absolute destruction of their former Egyptian taskmasters, the elevated Hebrew nation engages in what is regarded as one of the finest acts of worship history has seen. They spontaneously break out into shira song, melodiously raising their voices to praise G-d. In fact, they sang with such spiritual grandeur and poetic beauty that we incorporate their words in our daily prayer to this day.
Yet the Talmudic portrayal of Shiras Hayam (Song of the Sea) appears peculiar, to say the least:
“As they emerged from the sea, the Israelites wanted to sing. How did they sing? A toddler was resting on his mother’s lap, and a baby was nursing. Upon encountering the Shechinah, the toddler raised his neck, and the baby ceased nursing, at which point they cried out: ‘This is my G-d, and I will honor Him.”
Talmud Bavli, Sotah 30b
What possible reason could have prompted the sages to depict this seismic event in such a bizarre
manner? Why choose the imagery of singing babies to convey the nature of what occurred at the Song of the Sea?
To resolve this conundrum, we must first grasp the true nature of what shira is celebrating. At a surface level, the splitting of the Red Sea appears like the culmination of the Exodus from Egypt. We regard it, so to speak, as the cherry on top of the cake, the charoset on the matzah.
Although Kriyas Yam Suf (splitting of the sea) certainly meets this purpose, it also bears its own significance. Indeed its unique character is evidenced by its designation as a separate holiday within the Passover period. But what exactly distinguishes it from previous miraculous events?
A careful examination of our text suggests that G-d intended the Exodus and the splitting of the sea to serve different purposes. He declares that as a result of the Ten Plagues and the Exodus:
“Egypt will know that I am G-d.” (Shemos 7:5)
In other words, the explicit goal was to spread knowledge of the Divine. G-d revealed his visceral reality through these marvels and miracles, with His universal supremacy finally understood. Regarding the crossing of the sea, our verse expresses radically different terms:
“I will be honored through Pharaoh and all his armies.” (Shemos 14:17)
The splitting of the sea had qualitatively superior objectives to the Exodus. Not only was it designed to produce knowledge of G-d, but rather the goal here was the demonstration of honoring G-d.
We see the importance of honoring G-d from a verse in Mishlei that instructs us to: “Honor G-d with your wealth.” A Midrashic teaching expands this prerogative of glorifying G-d with one’s monetary wealth to exalting him with all one’s varied talents, including singing. For example, a person with a melodious voice should lead communal prayers.
Rashi (medieval French rabbi and scholar known for his influential commentary on the Torah and Talmud) explains that the word meihonecha ”from your wealth,” can be rendered as mei-gronecha—”from your throat.” Rav Kook (prominent Jewish rabbi and thinker who lived in the late 19th and early 20th century) brilliantly interprets this as Rashi reflecting on the essence of what it means to honor G-d. We acquire knowledge of G-d via our intellectual faculties, but honor springs from an altogether more primal, gut-level dimension of our being. Our sages teach us:
“If one’s neck is removed, it is impossible to live.” (Midrash Shir HaShirim 4:6)
Much like the throat, honor is closely linked to our vital energy.
Now we can understand why the Midrash described the Song of the Sea as a song that arose from the mouths of infants. After the Red Sea crossing, our nation instinctively expressed its innate sense of honoring G-d through ecstatic singing. Our longing for G-d erupted as a shira, even before we had fully processed what had occurred. In that raw state, stripped of the mind’s intricate machinations, the Jewish people were like young children.
A person who forgets to mention the Exodus must return and repeat his prayers. However, one who overlooks the division of the sea is not obligated to go back. A profound reason for this is that honoring G-d, unlike knowledge and wisdom, is not defined within a fixed framework. The stirring of one’s inner soul is an experience born of an intimate relationship with one’s essence.
Of course, G-d, an infinitely supreme being, has no personal need for our worship. But the process of praise is helpful because it reveals
to us the nature of our true selves. This is comparable to two students, one a regular pupil and the other a classical music enthusiast, tasked by a teacher with describing Mozart’s genius. While the first individual may have access to all the same raw information, his portrayal of Mozart will pale compared to that of the classical music aficionado. The regular pupil may rattle off a Wikipedia page, but the classical music enthusiast will sing Mozart’s praises. His soul resonates with the sublimity of Mozart’s music, and every utterance he makes becomes a living testament to Mozart’s genius.
Our worship and what we revere are not merely insignificant and arbitrary choices of expression. They reveal our deepest inner core. Society’s worship of superficial gods exposes corruption at its foundation. We become preoccupied with the external, ignoring the true beauty, profundity, and wisdom that lies within our tradition. We are all too easily seduced by the latest trend or fad, losing sight of the things that really matter. Yet being part of the Jewish people, we can draw a message of hope from the shira. At their heart, our pristine souls are untainted by the shallow world we inhabit. If we can just listen closely, we will notice the spirit’s ever-present hunger to ascend in praise of G-d. Then, at that moment, all we have to do is sing along.
The Detroit Jewish community is a home away from home for CHIEF RABBI DR. WARREN GOLDSTEIN —an interview by
SHIRA DRUION.What is your book about?
The book is called “Shabbat – A Day to Create Yourself” and it explores how Shabbat can help us create the best version of ourselves, our family, and our world. It offers a recipe for happiness in an increasingly complex world.
How has the process of writing the book been for you?
Writing this book has been an eye-opening experience and a true labor of love.
What are the main themes explored in the book?
The book explores how Shabbat can bring personal, communal, and national renewal. It also discusses how Shabbat offers a recipe for happiness in an increasingly complex world.
What is your connection to the Detroit Jewish community?
Gary Torgow is a dear friend of mine, and I’m so honored that he is bringing many copies of the book to Detroit to share with the community. As a visionary leader, Gary has been a great force for positive change in the Jewish world—in Detroit, across the US, in Israel, and around the globe. Over the years, we’ve worked together on a number of projects—including the Shabbat Project—and his support, advice, and partnership has meant so much to me.
Have you visited the Detroit Jewish community?
I have visited the Detroit Jewish community on several occasions. Their unity, common purpose, and mutual respect across differences that often divide Jews is extraordinary, and it’s something I’ve encountered in few other communities. My own community in South Africa is also known for its unity and togetherness, which is probably why I feel so at home in Detroit.
How does the book lend itself to group learning?
While the book can be read cover to cover on your own, it lends itself to group learning in particular. There are already a number of learning groups being set up across the US, and hopefully soon in Detroit.
What is your vision for the impact of the book?
My vision is that it will spark public discussion and real, renewed engagement with Shabbat across the Jewish world, complementing the work of the Shabbat Project, and bringing the Shabbat experience to more Jews every week.
What formats is the book available in?
I have made the book available in as many formats as possible, including print, e-book, and audiobook.
What is the ultimate goal of the book?
The goal of the book is to enhance readers’ enjoyment and appreciation of the precious gift that is delivered with Divine love at sunset every Friday.
Shira Druion is South African born and currently resides in London. She obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree in English, psychology and education and is a qualified speech and drama teacher. She is an experienced journalist, former editor of YALLA and PERSPECTIVES magazines in the UK and current editor of ONE PEOPLE magazine based in Detroit. She is the founder and Director of The De'ah Women’s Institute, a project of The Jewish Learning Exchange, and has been an educator for many years, teaching students from nursery age through to university, where she has lectured on communication and writing skills. She also works with the Forum for Jewish Leadership in collaboration with the Ronald Lauder Foundation on leadership programs for young professionals. She is the Head of PR and marketing for Manna Meir Panim, a London-based charity that provides for the needs of Israel's most vulnerable.
“A Day to Create Yourself”— founder of the global Shabbat Project releases a powerful book about finding meaning and purpose through Shabbat.
Mayim Bialik, Dan Ariely and President Herzog among those acclaiming groundbreaking new book that “tells the story of Shabbat in a way it has never been told before.”
What makes Shabbat so compelling? Why, in a world of supercharged productivity and technology, is Shabbat—in its ancient form, with all its intense restrictions on work, travel, and electricity—enjoying such a popular resurgence?
This is the question a new book by South Africa’s Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein, founder of the global Shabbat Project, seeks answers to.
Titled Shabbat – A Day To Create Yourself, the book is an entirely unique exploration of Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest (which introduced to the world the concept of a weekend).
“The book is a call to see Shabbat with fresh eyes—to discover how it can unleash personal and societal renewal, how it offers us a recipe for happiness in an increasingly complex world.”
The book is subtitled: “Building character, shaping perspectives,
and finding happiness through Shabbat.” Taking a granular look at all the various facets of Shabbat— both in terms of the mandated actions and the activities we abstain from on the day—Rabbi Goldstein shows how Shabbat does exactly that.
“Shabbat empowers us to find the time and space we need to create ourselves—to build our inner world, strengthen our faith, nurture our families, find meaning and purpose.”
He describes it as “a Divine formula to curate the kind of life we yearn for.”
“Shabbat gives us a day of happiness and togetherness once a week—a day on which we savor life’s blessings, free ourselves from our burdens, and access true pleasure.”
It is also, says Rabbi Goldstein, a uniquely powerful means for personal growth.
“During the week we create the world around us, Shabbat is the day we create ourselves—the day itself gives us the tools to become better people, and to enrich our relationships, ingraining in us the humility, wisdom, trust, optimism, generosity, gratitude, and stillness we need to live optimally and joyfully.”
Shabbat – A Day To Create Yourself is aimed at readers of all levels of observance, and
at serious Torah scholars and those with little Jewish learning experience, alike.
Written in a simple, lucid style, with short chapters, and accessible, easy-to-digest ideas, the book is nevertheless a work of deep scholarship—drawing from literally hundreds of Jewish sources and distilling the ideas and commentaries of Jewish sages spanning three thousand years.
Quite simply, it’s a uniquely structured book, with a groundbreaking approach to Shabbat that, according to Rabbi Goldstein, has never before been attempted.
“It’s a book that redefines work, productivity, and creativity, and hopefully allows readers to appreciate—and experience— Shabbat in a completely new way.”
Rabbi Goldstein was moved to write the book after observing the growth of the Shabbat Project, a global phenomenon that began in South Africa and today reaches Jews in over 1,500 cities and 100 countries.
“Just seeing Jews of all backgrounds and beliefs—across every geographical, cultural, and political divide—embrace Shabbat prompted the question. How did this global grassroots movement suddenly come to be? What is it about Shabbat that stirs people’s souls in this way?
This book, he says, is an attempt to answer that question.
“Gradually, while witnessing the growth of the project and writing the book, I’ve come to realize that Shabbat is the big idea the Jewish world needs right now. That it has answers to some of our most daunting challenges. That it is nothing less than the key to a thriving Jewish future.”
It is for this reason that Rabbi Goldstein intends Shabbat – A Day to Create Yourself to be “more than just a book.”
“It’s not meant to be something you take off the shelf and read from time to time; it’s a book that spurs action and commitment, that sparks public discussion—that moves people to experience Shabbat for themselves.”
The book is being launched in cities around the world—unusually, it has already been translated into four languages—with Shabbat Project volunteer partners driving public engagements and setting up special learning groups focused on the book’s main themes. There’s also an interactive YouTube series to further drive engagement with the ideas.
Written over the course of nearly a decade, Shabbat – A Day to Create Yourself has been a real labor of love for its author.
“It’s been a true journey of discovery for me personally, and I hope it will be equally eye-opening for those who read it.”
All book proceeds will be donated to the Shabbat Project.
Praise for Shabbat – A Day to Create Yourself:
“Written with intellect and heart… overflows with foundational religious and philosophical principles… Rabbi Goldstein has merited to bring awareness of this hidden treasure, the precious gift of Shabbos… across the entire globe.” - Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky, Rosh Yeshiva of the Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia
“Guides us to make changes to improve our daily lives… dynamic and captivating.” - Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics, Duke University
“Illuminating… an important addition to the collective Jewish library.” - Isaac Herzog, President of the State of Israel
“An essential for any home… the start of creating peace, wholeness, and holiness.”
- Mayim Bialik, Emmynominated actress and neuroscientist
“An articulate and timely message about the importance of Shabbat as a source of Jewish unity, courage, and strength.” - Natan Sharansky, former Israeli Deputy Prime Minister and head of the Jewish Agency
“I was moved to tears while reading sections of A Day to Create Yourself… not only explains the meaning of Shabbat, but of Judaism as a whole.” - Rabbi Hershel Schachter, Rosh Yeshiva and Rosh Kollel at Yeshiva University
The book is being launched in cities around the world—unusually, it has already been translated into four languages—with Shabbat Project volunteer partners driving public engagements and setting up special learning groups focused on the book’s main themes. There’s also an interactive YouTube series to further drive engagement with the ideas.
Written over the course of nearly a decade, Shabbat – A Day to Create Yourself has been a real labor of love for its author.
“It’s been a true journey of discovery for me personally, and I hope it will be equally eye-opening for those who read it.”
Isaac and Albert Farhi are more than brothers. They’re also business partners. It was a regular Friday night and Isaac had his brother and family over for the meal. As he was making Kiddush, the phone started to ring, and they could see it was the alarm company they use for their business downtown. Of course, due to Shabbat, they did not answer and knew that whatever the scenario, they would deal with it when Shabbat had ended.
Albert took Isaac aside and said: “Shabbat is Shabbat, nothing will make us break Shabbat for business. I’m not going anywhere. The phone rang again and again throughout the meal and proceeded to ring through
the night. Isaac kept reminding himself of the sacredness of Shabbat, knowing nothing would ever get in the way of their strict observance.
As soon as Shabbat was over, they jumped in the car and rushed over to the jewelry store that they owned together. There was a break-in in zone three, where the safe was kept. Isaac turned to his brother Albert and said: “Albert, what are we going to do? What’s the plan?” The safe had jewelry worth half a million to a million dollars and they knew that if there was a break-in there, they were done. The gate to the room with the safe was closed. “We opened the gate, and I told Albert to stay outside. I’m going inside.” It was a
mess, with glass and empty boxes strewn all over the floor.
“I said to myself, the most important thing is to check the safe, because that was where we kept all the gold, diamonds, and money. When I got to the safe room, I was shocked to find the safe closed. You know, like from outside, everything looked normal. My hand was shaking as I tried to open it.”
Isaac explained that it usually took him 30 seconds to open it, but this took him a long and agonizing five minutes. Miraculously, as he opened it, he breathed a sigh of relief, everything was there, intact.
“I simply couldn’t believe it, I was so happy that all of our gold, diamonds, and other valuables were inside. I ran to Albert to tell him.”
But Albert and Isaac were confused. How had the thieves been able to enter the store, because the outside door was locked. The safe was untouched, and yet the glass was shattered all over the floor from all the showcases, and the boxes were empty. There was jewelry from the showcases stolen, but they had no idea how the burglars had gotten in or out. As they were walking around the store, policemen were passing by and they saw the store was open, so they walked inside to check what was going on.
“We are the owners of the store, and we got robbed last night.” The policemen went inside to check out what had happened. Five minutes later, they came back out and said to them: “You know the alarm company called you last night? Where were you
when they called? Why didn’t you come right away?”
Albert answered them emphatically: “Last night was Shabbat, our Sabbath and holy day. We would not have come for a million or even a trillion dollars. We don’t desecrate Shabbat for any money in the world. Shabbat is Shabbat.”
The police officers were shocked. They said: “Your Sabbath, your G-d, saved your lives.”
“What do you mean?” asked Isaac and Albert. “What are you talking about?”
“We want to show you something,” said the police officer. “Come over here.”
As they walked back into the store together, they showed the brothers the air-conditioning vent on the ceiling and said: “We have seen this before. You see, these thieves, they
get onto the roof of the building, and they lower themselves through the vent. And then what they do is they activate the alarm purposely to get the owners to come down to the store to check it out, open the safe, make sure all is good. Then, when the owners open the safe, they jump on them, kill them, and take everything in the safe with them. They were waiting for you the entire night. If you had come here last night, they would’ve immediately taken your lives and emptied the safe.”
The Torah says: “Throughout the generations, throughout the centuries, throughout the millennia, we kept the Shabbat; but more than we kept the Shabbat, the Shabbat has kept us.” The Farhi brothers’ fierce commitment to safeguarding Shabbat ended up saving their lives in a most miraculous way.
The tables are decked in sage green velvet, and there are small vases of pink and green flowers dotting the center of the large table. I look around and see 43 women talking earnestly with each other, laughing comfortably. The sun has set an hour ago in the sleepy village of Berrien Springs, Michigan, and inside our warm home, dozens of Shabbat candles twinkle and glow. We are here to spend a weekend together, an authentic Shabbat experience, called Off The Grid. The women around me come from different parts of the Metro Detroit community. They span many different congregations, backgrounds, neighborhoods, and ages, and yet there’s a connection between them. Not everyone here knows each other yet, but they’re connected to this community of women, the women of Partners Detroit. I look around and reflect on
the journey that brought all of us here.
Partners Detroit has built a strong community of women. They’ve come to Partners in different ways; some having joined our international or domestic missions, and some by hearing about our weekly women’s programs from a friend. While the women love the learning, the Jewish experiences, and the delicious food, it’s the social component that keeps them coming back week after week. The group is made up of down to earth, relatable, friendly women.
“I’m always pleasantly surprised with the number of wonderful women I meet at Partners events,” says Julie Greenfield. “We are all connected somehow but have never met before; this is the true beauty of the Partners Detroit community.”
Members of this community, this sisterhood, have come to rely on the staff at Partners Detroit to offer them unique opportunities to connect with each other and deepen their understanding of their Judaism. It was this expectation that drove us to create this first-of-its-kind program, Off The Grid. This is how the planning began…
We rented an estate in Western Michigan for the weekend of our retreat, The Dahlia Home, with beds for 43 women, and the planning began. Our goal was to create a weekend where our participants could enjoy an authentic Shabbat experience in a beautiful setting, in the company of friends. Shabbat is inherently a day of light, as symbolized by the flames we light to usher her in, and the flame we use as we bid her farewell. To experience
I’m always pleasantly surprised with the number of wonderful women I meet at Partners events. We are all connected somehow but have never met before; this is the true beauty of the Partners Detroit community.
In my chaotic life it was so good for my soul to unplug and be present. Singing Jewish songs that were familiar together at the table was so fun and spiritually uplifting. Just what I needed!
This Shabbaton was perfect in every way. Sharing Shabbos with all these amazing women that are seeking to grow is exactly what my soul needed. I can’t thank Partners enough for continuing to educate and expand my connection to the community and my Judaism.
I enjoyed every aspect of being off the grid. I made new friends, shared experiences and deep thoughts and challenges with the other women. I enjoyed celebrating Shabbat with greater meaning and with friends."
A weekend getaway full of love, kindness, connection, and pure fun.
this unique light, on a wavelength very different from any other power source, we need to turn off the noise in our lives, the distractions, the deadlines, and the chaos. The silence that ensues allows us to truly tap into our own inner light for 25 hours and makes us better able to bask in the light of the people that surround us. This home in the woods would be the perfect setting, and we got to work creating a program to match.
The trip would begin on Friday morning, when the coach bus would pick up the women from two locations, Southfield and West Bloomfield. After a two-hour drive to Kalamazoo, the first stop would be at a bowling alley, which we rented out. Salad lunch would be followed by Bowling Bingo, a competitive ice-breaker activity with shenanigans such as needing to roll the ball through everyone on the team’s legs and creating an original team stomp. We’d then continue to Berrien Springs, Michigan, and get settled in our home away from home. After refreshments in our lower-level Tea Room, the women could choose to help out in the kitchen baking some last-minute Shabbat goodies or enjoy the house’s facilities: the outdoor hot tubs, the game room, or a walk in the
surrounding woods. Then it would be time to get dressed in their Shabbat finest and make final phone calls to family before turning off their phones and placing them in the provided phone sleeping bags.
Shabbat candle-lighting would mark the beginning of our technology-free period. The next 25 hours would be full of festive Shabbat meals, singing, dancing, hands-on workshops, competitive games, and downtime for relaxing and socializing. The absence of phones and other distractions would be conducive to connection and introspection. As Soozie Mendel later reflected: “In my chaotic life, it was so good for my soul to unplug and be present. Singing Jewish songs that were familiar, together at the table, was so fun and spiritually uplifting. Just what I needed!”
Following a musical Havdalah ceremony, the Saturday night program would start with a bang! Our professional Zumba instructor would get our bodies moving, helping us burn off some of those Shabbat treats. The house’s theater room would be a perfect place to feature the movie Illumination, a brilliant portrayal of recent times in history that individual Jews have acted as a
light unto the nations. Waffles and hot pretzels would be waiting for a midnight snack, and the option for an outdoor campfire would be available. Sunday morning would include a farewell brunch with time for sharing and reflecting, before boarding the bus for our trip back to reality…
The sound of 43 women singing together brings me back to the present, to the magical Shabbat table that extends across the room. Shabbat has just begun, but the energy in the room is palpable. Most of our carefully planned program has yet to unfold, but already there’s a unity in the room that didn’t exist a few hours ago. We are united in our current mission—trying to experience the true power of Shabbat by going Off The Grid. While this experience is outside the comfort zone of many, the women in the room are curious and courageous, and determined to see it through.
The women around me have their eyes closed, arms around each other, swaying as they sing. I smile, close my eyes, and add my voice to the song.
Shaindel Fink has the unique talent of making everything around her beautiful. This elegance is not limited to material things; the Torah she teaches is presented in an inspiring and charismatic way. Shaindel uses her artistic ability and flair to enhance every event at Partners Detroit. Through the classes she teaches, the trips she organizes, and the events she runs for the Women’s Division, Shaindel has managed to touch the hearts and minds, and change the lives of many women in the Detroit Jewish community.
(or why a good time never lasts)
People seem to have forgotten the importance of expressing their appreciation.
BY RABBI DR. AKIVA TATZ
The natural pathway of all life experiences begins with inspiration and soon fades to disappointment. Human consciousness and human senses are tuned to an initial burst of sensitivity and then rapidly decay into dullness. Sights, sounds, smells, even tactile stimuli are felt sharply at first and then hardly at all—a constant sound is not registered; one suddenly becomes aware that it was present when it stops! We are incapable of maintaining the freshness of any experience naturally—the natural pathway is that things that are fresh become stale.
One of the Torah sources for this idea lies in the sequence of events surrounding the Exodus from Egypt. At an extremely low point in our history, during the intense misery of slavery in Egypt, literally at the point of spiritual annihilation, the Jewish people were uplifted miraculously. Ten plagues revealed G-d’s presence and might, culminating in a night of unprecedented revelation with the tenth plague. This spiritual high was amplified by many orders of magnitude at the splitting of the sea— there the lowliest of the Jewish people experienced more than the highest prophet subsequently. And suddenly, once through the sea, they were deposited in a desert with many days of work ahead of them to climb to the spiritual status of meriting the Sinai experience, the giving of the Torah. Mystically, a desert means a place of intense death-forces, a place of lethal ordeals. No water means no life. (And we see later the potency of the ordeals that faced them in the desert.)
What is the meaning of this pattern? The idea is that in order to save the Jewish people in Egypt, outside help was necessary. G-d appeared and elevated us spiritually, although we did not deserve it intrinsically, we had not yet earned it. But once saved, once inspired, once made conscious of our higher reality, the price must be paid, the experience must be earned, and in working to earn the level that was previously given artificially, one acquires that level genuinely. Instead of being shown a spiritual level, one becomes it.
And that is the secret of life. A person is inspired artificially at the beginning of any phase of life, but to acquire the depth of personality that is demanded of us, G-d removes the inspiration The danger is apathy and depression; the challenge is to fight back to the point of
inspiration, and in so doing, to build it permanently into one’s character. The plagues in Egypt and the splitting of the sea are dazzling beyond description, but then G-d puts us in the desert and challenges us to fight through to Sinai. In Egypt, He demonstrates destruction of 10 levels of evil, while we watch passively; in the desert, He brings 10 levels of evil to bear against us and challenges us to destroy them.
This idea recurs everywhere. Passover occurs in the month of Nissan—the zodiac of this month is the sheep, an animal that is passively led. Next comes Iyar—the ox, an animal that has its own willful strength. And thereafter comes Sivan—twins, perfect harmony. When a father is teaching his child to walk, first the father supports the child as he takes his first step, but then the father must let go; there is no other way to learn, and the child must take a frightened and lonely step unaided. Only then, when he can walk independently, can he feel his father’s love in the very moment that previously felt like desertion.
Unfortunately, most people do not know this secret. We are misled into thinking that the world is supposed to be a constant thrill and we feel only half-alive because it is not. Let us examine some applications of this fundamental principle.
***
In aggadic writings, we are told that the unborn child is taught the whole Torah in the womb. An angel teaches the child all the mysteries of Creation and all that he will ever need to know in order to reach perfection. A lamp is lit above his head, and by its light he sees from one end of the world to the other. As the child is born, however, the angel strikes him on the mouth, and he forgets all that he has learned and is born a simple and unlearned baby. The obvious question is: why teach a child so much and then cause all the teaching to be forgotten?
But the answer is that it is not forgotten; it is driven deep into the unconscious. A person may be born with no explicit knowledge, but beneath the conscious surface, intact and rich beyond imagination, is all that one wishes to know! A lifetime of hard work learning Torah and working on one’s personality will constantly bring
innate wisdom to consciousness. Often when one hears something beautiful and true, one has the sensation, not of learning something, but of recognizing something. A sensitive individual will feel intimations of his or her own deep intuitive level often.
The pathway is clear—a person is born with a lifetime of work ahead, spiritual wisdom and growth are hard-earned. But the inspiration is within; you were once there. And that inner sense of inspiration provides the motivation, the source of optimism and confidence that genuine achievement is possible, even assured, if the necessary effort is made.
***
A second application: a characteristic feature of childhood and the teenage years is inspired optimism and the lack of a sense of limitation. Children believe that they can become anything. The world is larger than life to a child, a child is not oppressed by a limited sense of what is possible. A child has simply to be exposed to almost any form of greatness to begin fantasizing about becoming or achieving that same thing.
However, later in life, one is lucky to have any inspiration left at all. Many adults wonder why life seemed so rich when they were teenagers, why they could laugh or cry so richly, so fully, back then; and why life seems so flat now. But the idea is as we have described above. First comes a phase of unreal positivity, a charge of energy. And then life challenges one to climb back to real achievement independently.
***
Perhaps the sharpest application of this idea in modern Western society is in marriage. Marriage today is, to a large extent, in ruins in the secular world. In many communities, divorce is more usual than survival of marriage, and even in those marriages that do survive, it is common to find much disharmony.
One of the prime factors in this disastrous situation is the lack of understanding of our subject. Marriage has two distinct phases: romance and love. Romance is the initial,
heady, illogical swirl of emotion that characterizes a new relationship, and it can be extreme. Love, in Torah terms, is the result of much genuine giving. Love is generated essentially not by what one receives from a partner, but by the well-utilized opportunity to give, and to give oneself The phase of romance very soon fades, in fact, just as soon as it is grasped it begins to die. A spiritually sensitive person knows that this must be so, but instead of becoming depressed and concerned that one has married the wrong person, one should realize that the phase of work, of giving, is just beginning.
The phase of building real love can now flourish. In fact, in Hebrew there is no word for “romance”—in its depth it is an illusion. However, in the world of secular values, the first flash, the “quick fix,” is everything. “Love” is translated as “romance” and when it dies, what is left? No one has taught young people that love and life are about giving and building, and so the tendency is to give up and search for a “quick fix” elsewhere. Of course, the search must fail because no new experience will last. Understanding this well can make the difference between marital misery or worse and a lifetime of married happiness. Jewish marriage is carefully crafted to transition from initial inspiration, not to disappointment but to even deeper inspiration.
The plagues in Egypt and the splitting of the sea are dazzling beyond description, but then G-d puts us in the desert and challenges us to fight through to Sinai.
The menstrual separation laws are just one example— instead of allowing intensity to dull into tired familiarity, phases of separation generate new inspiration and the magic never fades.
***
In all these applications, and in fact in all of life, the challenge of the second phase is to remember the first, to remain inspired by that memory and to use it as fuel for constant growth. The Rambam (Maimonides) describes life as a dark night on a stormy plain lashed by the rain, lost in the darkness, one is faced with despair. Suddenly, there is a flash of lightning. In a millisecond, the scenery is as clear as day, one’s direction obvious. But just as soon as it is perceived, it disappears, and one must fight on through the storm with only the memory of that flash for guidance. The lightning lasts very briefly; the darkness may seem endless.
That is the pattern of life, short-lived inspiration and lengthy battles. The tools needed are determination, perseverance and a stubborn refusal to despair. Personal ordeals that make despair seem imminent are in reality a father’s hands, withdrawn so that you can learn to walk. And the work of remembering the flash of light when it seems impossible is emunah, faith.
The third phase, and happy is the one who attains it while yet alive, is transcendence. It is a regaining of the level of the first phase, but now deserved, earned, and therefore far beyond it.
There is a statement of the sages that describes the final transcendence, the transition from this world to the next, and it describes the angels that come to greet a person at that time. One of these angels comes to search out: “Where is this person’s Torah, and is it complete in his hand?” The Gaon of Vilna points out, chillingly, that the higher being that asks this question is not a stranger. Suddenly one recognizes the very same angel with whom he learned Torah in the womb! And the question to be answered is: Where is that Torah that inspired you then? Have you brought it into the world and made it real? And can it now be called yours?
Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz is a South African born Physician, Author and Lecturer. He has written a number of books on the subjects of Jewish philosophy and Jewish medical ethics: Anatomy of a Search, Living Inspired, Worldmask, The Thinking Jewish Teenager’s Guide to Life, Letters to a Buddhist Jew, Dangerous Disease & Dangerous Therapy in Jewish Medical Ethics, Will, Freedom & Destiny, As Dawn Ends the Night and, most recently, Shabbat and the Festivals – Journey and Destination. His books are available in Hebrew, English, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and French. Rabbi Tatz has been at the center of the Jewish outreach (kiruv) movement for most of his life. He currently teaches at the Jewish Learning Exchange in London and internationally.
It’s amazing how easily luxuries can become necessities. When that happens, we start taking those luxuries for granted. I was fortunate to have grown up in a home where nothing was taken for granted. My mom and dad appreciated whatever they had and were grateful for it. As a result, it was natural for them to express immediate appreciation for even the simplest gift or kind gesture. These days, expressing appreciation and saying ‘thank you’ seem to have fallen on hard times.
Showing hakaras hatov (gratitude) to G-d (for His blessings) is challenging for those who don’t naturally express thanks to others. It seems that too many people are self-absorbed almost to the point of narcissism. I’m wondering if there is a correlation between the volume of one’s material
possessions (i.e.: ‘stuff’) and the dramatic decrease in the amount of gratitude one demonstrates.
There is a poignant story told about several well-to-do Jews who, after World War I, decided that New York needed a Chief Rabbi. These wellmeaning gentlemen felt that only the most prominent Torah scholar would be suitable. Therefore, they journeyed all the way to Radin, Poland (now Belarus) to persuade Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan z’tzl, known as the Chofetz Chaim, to accept the position. Coming from the cosmopolitan metropolis of New York City—where they lived in opulence—they were shocked by the poverty and deprivation of Radin, and especially by the spartan, almost ramshackle home of the great Chofetz Chaim.
When the impeccably dressed men entered the great rabbi’s home, they wore their distress on their faces. The Rebbetzin graciously offered them tea from mismatched cups and saucers, as the visitors sat on rickety chairs. After the men introduced themselves, the Chofetz Chaim (speaking in Yiddish), said: “You look uncomfortable, is everything alright?”
One of the men said: “Rebbe, how is it possible that one of the greatest sages lives in such poverty?”
The Chofetz Chaim said: “Tell me, how do you live?”
One of the men started describing his home in such detail that even his associates were a bit embarrassed. The Chofetz Chaim then said: “Show me these wonderful furnishings and
People seem to have forgotten the importance of expressing their appreciation.
works of art that you describe.” The man was taken aback by the question and replied: “Rebbe, those things are all back in New York. I’m just traveling and visiting here for a short time, I can’t bring all of those things with me.” To which the Gaon replied: “Well, I’m like you—we are both ‘just’ travelers and visiting here for a short time, therefore we both make do with what we need on our journeys.”
My grandfather, Yehuda Leib (Leon), was born in a shtetl on the Polish Russian border, in what is now (left of) Ukraine. Passover in my grandpa’s home conjures up many fond memories. One unusual memory stands out. We never had red wine on Passover! Mind you, in those days, the range of kosher wines was limited to heavy and extremely
sweet, and extremely heavy and sickeningly sweet. Seventy percent of the commercial kosher wine market of that era belonged to Manischewitz. A number of Jews made wine in their basements. It wasn’t uncommon for ‘basement wine’ to possess a ‘bouquet’ smelling of heating oil. Finding white wine wasn’t so simple. Nevertheless, grandpa found it year after year. It actually tasted sweeter than red wine—as a kid, I liked ‘sweet.’ Now, not so much.
These days, wine has become one of those ‘luxuries’ that most of us take for granted. Red, white, sweet, semi-sweet, dry, semi-dry. Literally thousands of choices of top quality kosher wines from around the world. Many kosher wines are sought after by non-Jews, not because they are
kosher but because they are top quality products. On recent trips to large Jewish communities, I visited kosher wine supermarkets. Row after row, floor to ceiling, with every imaginable wine permutation. Hidden on a bottom shelf somewhere almost out of sight were a few bottles of the heavy Malaga wines from my childhood. Interestingly, I’ve even found numerous kosher wine choices in places where no Jews reside.
So, why did my grandpa insist on white wine when everyone else had only red wine on Passover? The year before my bar mitzvah, I asked him. This is what he said. “You know that you are named after my father, Yitzchok Tzvi Hersh?” (That’s right, at my bris I wasn’t named Ivan.) My grandfather continued: “My father
was the Rav of a shtetl (village) in Ukraine. There were often pogroms against the Jews, which is why my father sent my sister and me to America. At Passover time, the pogroms were the worst. Over two centuries before my father became a Rav, there was a great Rabbi who was in fact the Chief Rabbi presiding over the area that included the part of Ukraine where I was born. His name was Rabbi Segal. He made a ruling in the 17th century forbidding Jews under his jurisdiction to use red wine on Passover, because the Christians claimed that the Jews used the blood of Christian children to make wine and matzah
Rabbi Segal felt that not using red wine on Passover might help to protect the Jews and mitigate some of the actions of the antisemitic Ukrainians, Poles, and Russians looking for any reason to initiate a pogrom.
A few years later, in yeshiva, I learned that ‘Rabbi Segal’ was HaRav HaGaon Dovid HaLevi Segal z’tzl (1586-1667), known by the acronym TAZ, based on his brilliant work: “Turai Zahav” (on “Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah”). Every yeshiva student is familiar with the TAZ.
As Passover approaches, I am reminded of the past centuries of pogroms and persecutions that tens of thousands of Ukrainian Jews, like my grandpa, had to endure. Tragically, the remaining Ukrainian Jews are now enduring yet another threat to their lives courtesy of Vladimir Putin. In the Second World War, Ukraine hosted mass killings of Jews. Most of my grandfather’s family were murdered in those killing fields.
When I was 15 years old, I said: “Grandpa, we’re in America now, you can use red wine.” His response was simply: “We need to remember so that we don’t forget.” I don’t think I appreciated his reply then, but I do now. Especially as we observe the senseless and indiscriminate slaughter of thousands of Ukrainians, among whom many are Jews.
Recently, I received photos and videos of Jewish refugees from Ukraine, which are humbling and poignant. Children and adults are grateful to be together, to be able to share food, toys, and clothing. The older children help the younger ones. On Purim, everyone crowded together for a huge seudah. They were not there because of the food, and certainly not because of the wine (there was only grape juice), but because it was a true Seudas Hodah
(a thanksgiving meal). The volume of ‘stuff’ was limited—but the amount of gratitude was immense. Receiving a hamantaschen and a chocolate bar was a ‘luxurious’ Purim treat—and greatly appreciated.
As we decide on which red wine to serve at our Passover Seder Cabernet, Merlot, Syrah, Pinot Noir, Malbec, or sparkling, this might be a good time to pause and be grateful for G-d’s many gifts and blessings. When grandpa said the Shehecheyanu blessings, he fully appreciated what it meant to be thankful and grateful to G-d for “keeping us alive, sustaining us, and bringing us to this season.”
This Passover, may we say the Shehecheyanu blessings to our Creator with kavana (feeling and intention). May we be grateful for all that we have—and may we remember to express our gratitude to those around us for their kindness too. Let this Passover be one of gratitude and thanksgiving. May we be blessed for what we have and also what we don’t have.
Sunday Mornings 8:00-9:30 AM
At Partners, Jews who are interested in exploring their Judaism can find a learned partner who will help them explore the Torah.
BY RABBI AVI COHENThe Jewish people are referred to as: “Our brothers—the Jewish nation.” What makes all Jews brothers?
G-d called the Jewish people “His children.” (Deuteronomy 14:1) Since we share the same father, we are all brothers and sisters.
Partners is founded on this premise; all Jews are brothers and sisters. Every Jew is my blood-brother and therefore I love him unconditionally, regardless of his religious affiliation, level of observance or mode of dress. Through Partners, Jews from any walk of life, in any place, who are
interested in exploring their Judaism and the Torah, can find a learned partner who will help them discover the Torah knowledge they seek. A carefully chosen member of the wonderful observant Detroit Jewish community will graciously meet with him or her for an hour a week to share
the Torah that s/he was privileged to learn.
Through the unusual partnerships created at Partners Detroit, brotherly love finds its most eloquent expression. Jews of every affiliation and background find warmth and love in the Partners Detroit learning program. Tuesday nights at 8pm at the Yeshiva Beth Yehudah, hundreds of Jews from all sectors of the Detroit Jewish community come together to meet with their hand-picked partners to study Torah for an hour. A feeling of brotherhood and camaraderie pervades the room.
Dr. Richard Krugel and his wife Sally have been studying at Partners for over 20 years. Richard was the 2014 recipient for the Fred M. Butzel Memorial award, the Detroit Jewish
Federation’s highest award for distinguished community service. Richard went on record in one of the Partners videos saying: “This is a place you want to be. The room is so warm and inviting.”
In addition to being warm and inviting, through the hundreds of raised voices in Torah learning, the room is transformed into a veritable beis medrash (study hall), with strong Torah learning reverberating in the background. Most people are used to a library setting where the studying takes place in utter silence; where talking or noise is not tolerated lest it disturb one’s concentration. On entering the room for the first time, many learners wonder to themselves: “How is it possible to learn anything in a room as noisy as this?” They learn soon enough that not only
does the hum in the background not detract from the learning, it actually inspires it. While each partner focuses on what the other is saying, thoroughly absorbed in every word and concept, the learning of all the others around them makes them feel privileged to be part of something much greater than themselves—a community of Torah learners.
Underlying the success of Partners is the friendships that are created in the course of the learning. When they come to Partners on Tuesday nights, they are not coming to a class where they are one of many listening to a lecturer to whom they have no personal connection. They are coming to spend an hour with their friend who they just enjoy being with. They may not even end up learning. They may talk about other
matters of concern to one of them for the whole hour, but sometimes we just need a close friend to listen and commiserate. Many partners have expressed how their “Partner in Torah” is their best friend in the world. It makes sense. When else in life does one have the opportunity to talk about matters of substance with an intelligent and caring friend? This is a two-way street. The teachers enjoy and learn from their partners just as much as the partners enjoy and learn from their teachers.
Finding the right teacher for the interested learner is crucial. If they hit it off, they will be friends for life and not only on Tuesday nights. They will talk during the week, share and attend each other’s happy occasions and help out when things are not going so well.
Lisa and Simmy hit it off from the very first moment. The first Tuesday night they studied together, they spoke after Partners for another hour. They couldn’t get enough of each other. They studied at Partners for years, with Lisa and Simmy enjoying their learning and special friendship. Then, Simmy got sick. She went through many difficult phases of her illness, but throughout, Lisa was at her side, providing comfort and friendship. Lisa also learned from Simmy about how an observant person looks at suffering. Simmy never faltered for a second in her steadfast emunah (trust) in G-d. Lisa learned that everything is from G-d, and G-d is only good. If this is His will, I accept it—no questions asked. G-d knows better, and I accept His judgment completely.
Lisa was with Simmy the day she passed away.
Larry Jackier, a prominent lawyer and former Federation President, joined Partners in the year 2000. He was paired up with Rabbi Yossi Heber, a Torah scholar with an MBA in Business. The two became fast friends and are still studying at Partners. Through Partners, Larry became very close to the Yeshiva and was chosen as the Golden Torah Awardee at the 2008 Yeshiva Beth Yehudah annual dinner. Larry received a substantial management fee for a property that his law firm sold and chose to donate almost a half-a-million dollars of it to the Yeshiva. Larry had one request of the Yeshiva administration. Could he use his donation to dedicate a classroom in the new Yeshiva building in honor of his partner in Torah, Rabbi Yossi Heber? Permission was granted and a special ceremony was set up in the dedicated classroom. Rabbi Heber, who knew nothing about the dedication, was asked to join his partner in Torah for a ceremony in the Yeshiva. He received the surprise of his life when they revealed the plaque on the wall stating that the classroom had been dedicated by Larry in his honor. Rabbi Heber was deeply touched by Larry’s unique demonstration of his friendship.
The friendships created at Partners are friendships that endure. This was evident during the COVID-19 pandemic, when people were restricted from leaving their homes and socializing in person with others. Partners learning was also on a hiatus during this time, but over fifty percent of the partnerships continued their
learning throughout the pandemic without missing a week, via Zoom or on the phone.
The friendships created at Partners have also had a powerful impact on the Detroit Jewish community as a whole. Gone is the unfounded perception that observant Jews don’t consider other Jews “Jewish,” and that observant Jews are mindless robots performing rote rituals. In the Partners beis medrash (study hall), observant Jews sit across from their study partners and study together as equals. They learn that their observant partners are normal people just like those who perform the commandments out of conviction and thought. The ambiance of mutual respect and true friendship that permeates the room is palpable.
Through the unusual partnerships created at Partners Detroit, brotherly love finds its most eloquent expression.
No one can say that the “religious look down at us and don’t consider us Jews” around here. Each, without exception, learns from the other, and the mutual admiration that grows from that is real.
Mark Litt, former Executive Director of the Detroit JCC, was wont to say: “Detroit has the largest Jewish community in the US.” People would ask: “What are you talking about? What about New York, Los Angeles or Chicago?” He would respond by saying: “New York has 1,000 different Jewish communities, Los Angeles has 250 and Chicago has 150. Detroit has only one.”
What a beautiful statement! Partners Detroit has played a major role in creating that phenomenon.
At Partners Detroit, there is no agenda, no axe to grind, and no curriculum that the participants must study. The goal is to share Torah with anyone who wishes to learn it, and that’s all the teachers do; share Torah with no judgments, and no expectations. It is up to the learner to do as he sees fit with the information he is learning. The reality is, in Judaism, “an educated consumer is our best customer!” (Borrowed from Syms). Most learners at Partners
have never had the opportunity to explore the richness and depth of the Torah. Many still have the same childish notions they had when they were children in afternoon school; Judaism is simplistic and irrelevant. How surprised they are to discover how contemporary and relevant the Torah’s ideas are. There is no aspect of life that the Torah does not address, and always with a clear, logical perspective on the matter. As they become more knowledgeable in Torah and see its pleasant ways, they apply the learning to their lives as they see fit.
The sages teach us. G-d says:
I wish they would forget about me and just study my Torah. If they were to do that, the sheer brilliance of the Torah would return them to me.
Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato (Path of the Just, Chapter 5) explains how this works:
If a person studies the Torah, when he sees its straight ways, its just commandments and cautions, in the end, automatically he will be inspired to seek the right path in life.
Through Partners Detroit, so many have had their eyes opened to the brilliant light of the Torah and have applied its lessons and teachings to their lives, all for the better.
Nothing is more heartwarming than to see a person who, just a few months ago, did not know what a Chumash (Five Books of Moses) was, come early to Partners, sit down with an English translation Chumash, and start reading the portion for that week. He has been empowered to learn on his own, and the joy and excitement in that is a privilege to behold.
The Partners model is a win-win-win situation. It is a win for the learner, a win for the teacher, and a win for the Jewish community. Why not join Partners today?
RACHEL DEVRIES, NISIM NESIMOV, ALIZA BRACHA
KLEIN , and JORDAN BEHAAR share their personal stories…
I attended Jewish day school 1st-12th grades and Jewish summer camp every summer until I was well into my 20s. As a child, I attended the Yeshiva Beth Yehudah dinner most years. My conservative family kept kosher, celebrated every Jewish holiday, and observed every fast day. Until I went off to college, I ate Shabbat dinner, attended shul, and said Havdalah each week. Every night in my house ended with gathering as a family to recite the evening Shema.
It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized that not everyone grew up like I did, engrossed in Jewish life. I’m now 31 years old, no longer living with my immediate family, and often find myself faced with complex questions like: “How do I enjoy spending Shabbat?” “What traditions do I uphold simply because ‘my family always did it like this’ and which do I believe in?” “How do I want to be Jewish?”
In around 2018, I became enchanted with Partners Detroit: by the staff and their wonderful humor; their forte for creating dvar Torahs that are relatable to millennials; and cooking skills to rival the greatest of chefs. One staff member took me for coffee, got to know me, and invited me for a few incredible Shabbat dinners at her home, where I met dynamic people my age. Then came 2020.
My last pre-pandemic memory is attending Partners Detroit’s Young Professional (YP) Purim party at their new Platform 18 building in downtown Royal Oak. The night was filled with food, drinks, live music, and, unbeknown to us at the time, the last feelings of normalcy we’d experience for years. But the reason that night stands out to me is because it wasn’t like other Purim parties I had been to before, filled with mostly young children and grandparents.
Being in that [self-proclaimed] “awkward” stage between college
student and married-with-kids, I struggled for a while to find a place that was meant for me to ‘do Jewish’. But that March 2020 Purim party was packed with recent college graduates, some newly married folk, and, finally, people “in the middle,” just like me.
Now that three years have passed and my life stage remains fairly the same, I still find that Partner’s YP events fit me. Whether those events entail candle-making on Chanukah, learning Torah together on a weekday evening, or creating our own Havdalah kits, these events bring together Jews who are Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and anywhere in between. Like the manna from heaven, Partners somehow adapts to the taste of each individual, making every person feel satisfied.
I have never been on a Partners Detroit trip. I’ll probably never attend seminary in Israel. I may not even study Torah each week. But, through Partners Detroit YP events, I am learning how I want my Jewish life to look. I am excited to continue celebrating holidays at Platform 18, eating Shabbat meals with the Partners staff, and enveloping myself in the Jewish young adult community that Partners Detroit has created for people like me.
Growing up in a traditional family, Partners Detroit is helping RACHEL DEVRIES to figure out what she wants her adult Jewish life to look like.Rachel Devries, raised and residing in Metro Detroit, is a graduate of Hillel Day School and the Frankel Jewish Academy, a lifelong member of Adat Shalom Synagogue, and alumna of Tamarack Camps. She is grateful to have been welcomed into the Partners Detroit Jewish Young Professionals community for learning, celebrating holidays, and making new connections. The inviting Partners staff have aided Rachel, age 31, in enriching her connection to Judaism as an adult. The mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests) that Rachel observes at Partners’ events, she reflects in her role as membership engagement manager for the Birmingham Bloomfield Chamber of Commerce.
When I reflect on the people and institutions that made the greatest impact on where I stand today, studying in yeshiva in Jerusalem and on my way to beginning law school this coming fall, Partners Detroit and the people who make up the organization stand out among the pack. I come from a family of immigrants, with my mother (A”H), father, and three sisters immigrating from Baku, Azerbaijan to Detroit merely two months before I was born. I was blessed to have parents who recognized the value of sending their children to Jewish schools, as I attended day school from kindergarten all the way through high school. Though my family was not observant, owing to decades of restriction of religious expression living in the Soviet Union, my parents’ decisions imprinted in me a clear pride in my Jewish identity and the Jewish people.
When I began college at a university with a small Jewish population, I was, for the first time in my life, not constantly immersed in an environment of Jews. Whether I realized it at the time or not, this sparked a craving within me for greater involvement in Jewish life. Around that time, I got involved in a flag football league with Partners Detroit, where I met Rabbi Shmuli Wolf. I began learning one-on-one with Rabbi Wolf, and I started to become familiar with some of the stunningly deep ideas in the Torah that were foreign to me before. Beyond that, Partners exposed me to an incredibly warm and supportive
community in Detroit, which played a major role in my Jewish growth. When the COVID-19 pandemic broke out and in-person gatherings were largely shut down, a major source of meaning in my life, my learning sessions with Rabbi Shmuli and the occasional Shabbat dinner in his home were no longer a reality. At that point, it would have been easy for organizations like Partners to be very conservative with their activities, perhaps hoping for the pandemic to pass before they resumed their engagements with students. The devoted staff at Partners, though, thought of an innovative strategy to continue engaging young Jews through those isolated times.
Every week, Partners hosted Zoom classes from the most inspirational Jewish speakers; parallel to this learning program, Rabbi Shmuli and Rebbetzin Nechama Wolf would prepare take-home Shabbat meals for students to experience at least a taste of Shabbat while the inperson gatherings remained impossible. I remember vividly hearing a talk by Charlie Harary about the downsides to multitasking, and relating how Shabbat was an opportunity for us to break from this habit by setting aside technology for 25 hours. The following Shabbat, I decided to put my phone away for the entire Shabbat, something I had never done before. I have never used my phone on Shabbat since then, and I immediately noticed how much happier I was when I was taking a break from my devices.
That was my first major step towards Shabbat observance. I continued my growth process throughout the pandemic, taking steps in other areas of observance as well, until I made a big decision—as I was moving to New York City for a job—to start keeping Shabbat and keeping kosher. Difficult as it was, and though I was miles away from Detroit, where my support base was located, Rabbi Wolf guided me through every step of the process, from the minute questions of keeping a kosher kitchen to guiding me in the big decisions of my life. Within a couple of months, I realized how much I loved the Jewish life I was building and that I wanted to pursue it in a deeper way. This eventually led me to discover Machon Yaakov, a yeshiva in Har Nof devoted to developing young Jewish men with backgrounds like myself.
After more than 18 months since I began learning at Machon Yaakov, I can confidently say it was the greatest decision of my life. As I prepare to enter a new phase of my life at the University of Michigan Law School this fall, my passion for learning and living a Torah life and my excitement for pursuing a meaningful career to provide for my future family are at unthinkable levels relative to when I began yeshiva. All of this is a direct result of my learning under the incredible rabbis at Machon Yaakov, and I owe myself arriving at Machon Yaakov to Rabbi Wolf and the Detroit community, the support infrastructure at Partners, and the generous individuals who support Partners as well. I look forward to being able to give back to this organization, which has done so much to impact my life, in order to impact the lives of other Jews across the world.
Partners has been a big part of my life and will forever be a part of my life. As an only child, I’ve always cherished my friendships and thought of my friends as being part of my family. People say that blood is thicker than water—but where I come from, people who provide you with positive interpersonal relationships that are filled with emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being are also your family. I can say honestly that Partners has provided that support.
I first became involved with Partners in 2011 when I went to my first Partners event. As an identified Reform Jew, I wanted to grow in spirituality, but didn’t know if I could give up my current lifestyle. At that time, I was modeling, working as a movie extra, and singing at my synagogue’s choir. These were activities that I enjoyed doing, but knew this wasn’t where I was headed in life on a religious level.
While growing within my spiritual journey, Partners afforded me the opportunity to go on some incredible trips and meet very inspirational people. One person I had the pleasure of meeting was Rebbetzin Leah Feldman, wife of the Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Israel, Baltimore, MD. My interaction with Rebbetzin Feldman was one of the important moments of my life, which moved and inspired me to continue my growth.
I continued to observe Shabbat and kosher, learn with friends who were on the same journey as me, and changed my lifestyle for good.
Years later, I took a leave of absence from my job as a therapist to study at Neve Yerushalayim in Israel. It was important to me that I was able to grow and learn while I wasn’t yet married. When I was ready to come home, Rabbi Avraham Edelstein at Neve reconnected me with Partners so that I’d be able to continue my learning when I came back home. Partners didn’t waste any time in finding me a partner to learn with. I was able to further my learning, and also make a new friend in the process.
As I reflect on friendship once again, I can say that most of the friends I have today, who I consider my family, I met through Partners. What started off as just going to Partners Shabbat dinners and social events turned into lifelong supportive friendships with people who have become family.
Partners has changed my life in many ways and afforded me the opportunity to meet people who have made an impact on my life. I’m so blessed to have Partners and to have made life-changing connections and long-lasting friendships through this organization.
Aliza Bracha Klein is a clinical licensed Social Worker for Jewish Family Service for Metropolitan Detroit. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Oakland University and a master's degree in social work from Wayne State University. She lives in Oak Park, Michigan with her husband, Aryeh and twins Meira Chana and Shlomo Aharon.On the day that I walked into Partners Detroit, I was hanging onto the side of a cliff, spiritually speaking. I had cobbled together for myself a version of what the Torah meant, what G-d wanted from me… you could say a version of the truth about existence.
As a child growing up, I, like many of my peers, was left with the impression that the Torah was foolish. As arrogant youths, we concluded that adults who followed the Torah were engaged in foolishness, because it seemed to make no sense—there was no congruence and there seemed to be a pick-and-choose type of attitude.
Despite this, I held onto the belief that a higher power, whether it be G-d or something else, existed and had an influence on us. To me, it was a simple and logical conclusion. While I had never encountered anything that could not be explained by science, throughout history, there were countless people who starved or feasted, remained celibate or became fertile, and even those who became killers or martyrs, all in the name of a spiritual force or forces that I couldn’t fully
understand. These people had built monuments from the most precious materials in praise of these forces. I found it difficult to believe that so many people would do so much for a “god” that they were merely told was true by their parents or read about in a book. There must have been a real connection and a personal spiritual relationship, and I sought to find that for myself.
I was a Jew, so this was my easiest and most familiar path to seek answers. Between high school and my late 20s, I was not always engaged, and sometimes I ended up very far away. But through encounters with a Jew here and a rabbi there, and a few trips to Israel plus the influence of one good friend, I eventually pieced together an understanding. However, it was on my own terms. I was keeping Shabbat, kosher, putting on my tefillin (phylacteries) , doing the best I could. But I assure you, I had all the awareness and ability of a fish flopping on the floor. It was at this time and in this situation that somebody sent me to learn with a person at Partners Detroit, and that’s where I met Rabbi Avi Cohen, may G-d bless him and protect him.
Yearning for a real connection and a personal spiritual relationship, JORDAN BEHAAR was saved from the cliff’s edge
The Rav told me later, that when I reported that several times I had thought I found a rabbi who would learn with me, but then the rabbi would stop calling me back, that’s when he realized that it was because those particular rabbis did not know the answers to my questions. And he said: “Now, ask me a really hard question.”
And this began the chavruta (partnership learning) that changed everything for me. With a patience, kindness, and wisdom wrought by years of immersion in holy matters, the Rav parried my challenges, answered my questions, and he became one of the most wonderful and caring friends I’ve ever known. He and his Rebbetzin hosted me as a guest for so many Shabbats and Yom Tovs. He saw a potential in me and took me under his wing, investing such an enormous amount of time, energy, and emotion into me, and I can only hope and try to live up to that. It would be really easy to understate in these lines the positive influence he had on me, but please make no mistake, I am a very different and much better person due to his tutelage. His guidance, more than any other factor, anchored me in the service of G-d and His Torah. Without
him, I’m not sure I would have ever become the kind of man that my wife would have married. But I did become that man, and we did marry. To find my beshert —my soulmate—was the very dearest of my life’s hopes. And Rabbi Cohen was the officiator at our wedding!
I find now that my pitiful struggles with depression, which had previously plagued me as though a banshee lived in my heart, have gone away. I think I feel alright because I know that G-d is with me, and that there is a good reason for me to live this life: to study the Torah, to do mitzvot , to be good with my Jewish brothers. The deep sense of loneliness, like I was forever falling into a pit, is gone too; I’m so happy that I married my wife, she’s the best. For these changes and many more, I remain thankful to Rabbi and Rebbetzin Cohen, may all their prayers be answered.
And to Partners Detroit, which sponsored and facilitated our learning together—may many more good stories like mine be the fruits of this holy program’s pursuits.
for a year and a half.
I was keeping Shabbat, kosher, putting on my tefillin, doing the best I could. But I assure you, I had all the awareness and ability of a fish flopping on the floor.Jordan Behaar is from Detroit, MI. He has been learning Torah through Partners Detroit for four years, and spent a year at Ohr Somayach in Jerusalem. For work, Behaar trades stocks and manages a small apartment building in Detroit. For fun, he likes cooking, reading, techno music, swimming, rock climbing, snowboarding, and disc golf. He has been happily married
BY MICKEY EIZELMAN
In the mid 1980s, my wife Shelley and I began a journey to discover our Jewish heritage. We had each been raised with varying degrees of Jewish tradition but had not truly integrated Judaism into our everyday lives. Through the kindness and self-sacrifice of many individuals in the Detroit Jewish community, we set off on our journey which, unbeknown to us, would lead us to a truly observant lifestyle. The journey, led by Aish HaTorah
and Chabad, took us from minimal observance of Jewish customs and laws to a permanent connection to our Jewish neshama (soul).
In the late 1990s, we moved to Oak Park, Michigan, a vibrant and larger Orthodox community, to continue our journey. We realized that while we observed Shabbat, maintained a strong Jewish home and provided an Orthodox education for our daughters,
our journey was far from over. While we maintained our close connection to Aish HaTorah and Chabad (and still do—and will be forever grateful to both organizations), we encountered other learning opportunities in Oak Park. One of the programs we encountered was an organization called Partners Detroit. It was intriguing in that we could be paired with learned individuals in the community to study literally any area of Jewish life or observance that
resonated with us. I began learning with a rabbi who taught at Bais Yaakov, where my daughters attended school. In determining what to study, the rabbi suggested that it may be appropriate to go into greater depth about what it means to live as an observant Jew. He clearly read the situation correctly. Of course, I realized I had much more to learn, I just never realized how much I needed to learn. As a result, we began learning “Mishnah Berurah” (compilation of Jewish laws), where I came to an even greater realization of how much I needed to learn.
We met every Tuesday night at Yeshiva Beth Yehudah for an exhilarating hour of learning. Having grown up in a non-observant world, I had never experienced the concept of yeshiva learning in a chavrusa (partner style) method. It was absolutely amazing to be in a large room with several hundred individuals, men on one side and women on the other, each learning a topic of their choosing with great excitement. Voices filled the room, and the energy was palpable. Each chavrusa pair consisted of an individual on a path to gain more Jewish knowledge and a second individual who was there to help guide them on that path. Over the years, you could witness people growing in their Jewish education and observance. I was fortunate to learn with my chavrusa for several years, until his boys grew older, and it was necessary for him to spend more learning time with them. However, that experience catapulted me into learning
with other individuals and played a significant role in encouraging me to continue learning and growing.
Fast-forward several years, and while I was no longer learning at Partners Detroit, my wife was learning with a lady—with my wife being the guide on the path and her partner actively seeking greater learning. The hand of G-d was obvious in the partnership as my wife and her partner discovered that their families had known each other for many years.
After a period of time, my wife’s partner’s husband saw the impact it was having on her, how much she enjoyed her Tuesday evenings, and decided that he would like to participate. My wife and her partner thought it would be a great idea to make this a couple’s project and my wife encouraged me to make it happen. My initial reaction was no, in that I did not feel I was competent enough to participate in a mentoring role. However, my wife and her partner pressed, and I reluctantly agreed to participate, remembering that an expert is someone who knows more than you.
The decision made by my wife and her learning partner was clearly one of the best decisions I ever made (ha!). I have been learning with my partner for approximately eight years now, and in that time, we have learned about the Jewish holidays; the laws of lashon hara (clean speech); and we are going through the books of the Torah for the
second time. When COVID-19 hit, we could no longer learn in person, but my partner wanted to continue learning, and so we took up Zoom as a weekly appointment.
Partners Detroit has been truly transformative for both me and my partner. My partner has gained a great deal of knowledge about his Jewish heritage and the amazing lessons in life that a Torah education can provide. While he would not be considered an observant Jew, Judaism and G-d are truly part of his life. As for me, it is said that the greatest way to learn is to teach or, in this case, to mentor. Not only have I gained a true and beloved friend but have learned as much as my partner. While that learning is on a different level, it has enabled me to continue on my journey, which I started so many years ago.
I really believe that everyone who participates in Partners Detroit has their own story of growth and an equally greater understanding of the broad tapestry of the Jewish people. Every Tuesday night, whether in person or on Zoom, Jewish individuals representing the broad spectrum of our beautiful Detroit Jewish community come together for one single purpose, irrespective of background or religious affiliation; they are there on their own individual journey moving closer to their Jewish heritage and closer to G-d. My partner and I look forward to many years together learning and growing in our knowledge and observance.
World-class educators. Torah classes. Special events. Missions. Fun gatherings for all ages. Partners Detroit has opportunities for everyone, all across metro Detroit.
World-class educators. Torah classes. Special events. Missions. Fun gatherings for all ages. Partners Detroit has opportunities for everyone, all across metro Detroit.
Find one that’s just right for you at partnersdetroit.org.
Find one that’s just right for you at partnersdetroit.org.
Author’s note: This article was written prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. The numbers in it reflect the normal course of business. Once the pandemic started, everything changed, but we don’t have any final numbers and likely won’t for a few years.
Sutton’s Law, a rule taught in medical schools around the country, is named after Willie Sutton, one of the most famous bank robbers in US history. Sutton stole over $2 million from banks over the course of a 40-year crime spree, which included three prison breakouts. His most famous line, which he later denied saying, was reported in a 1952 newspaper interview, where, allegedly, the reporter asked him why he kept robbing banks, and he replied:
“Because that’s where the money is.” Sutton’s Law in medicine is a reminder to doctors to first look for the most obvious explanation for presenting symptoms before exploring more arcane and uncommon diagnoses.
Criminals, corporations, and conspiring individuals still use Sutton’s logic when deciding where to put their creative talents to work. Banks are no longer where the money is. The average bank branch usually has between $50,000-$200,000 on hand at any time, and that money is usually not all accessible at once. As a matter of fact, the FBI reported that in recent years, the average bank robbery netted only $4,330. On top of that, bank robbery carries with it a very high risk of spending many years in a facility with mediocre food, a very
uninspiring dress code, lots of armed guards, and barbed wire walls all around you.
Today, when people look for where the money is, they look at the US government. The government prints lots of money, about $541,000,000 a day, but more important is the trillions it spends, without ever printing it out; digital money zooming out of the treasury and into the hands of all sorts of government contractors. That’s where the money is.
At the Seder, when we put away the larger piece of the matzah for later, we are showing that we are free people.
The US collects about $3.6 trillion dollars, and spends a bit more than $4 trillion, and while this is a number so astronomical that almost no one can comprehend its enormity, one can become a very wealthy scallywag by getting even a minute fraction of that number. We’ve all heard about $10,000 toilet seat covers, members of Congress shoving appropriations for pet projects into spending bills, or the $1.2 million spent on researching the social habits of monkeys. But that is small fry; the smart corporations latching onto the government spigot
are in the game for billions, and often are more than happy to let the little guy sink in the process.
Let’s talk for a moment about student debt. While most people think that the big looming debt crisis is credit card debt, it’s not. Total credit card debt in the US today is about $1.03 trillion. Total student debt is at $1.56 trillion and rapidly rising. And those two kinds of debt are not at all the same; credit card debt is forgiven when someone declares bankruptcy, most student debt is
not. Student debt is an albatross that can hang around your neck for life. People say that “student debt is good debt,” ostensibly because the degree you earn gives you more earning power, and while that is certainly true for some people, about one quarter of the people holding student debt never graduated. In addition to that, many people took out large loans for degrees that will never pay large salaries, such as $90,000 of debt to get a master’s degree in meso-American pottery art. How did we get here?
Remember Sutton’s Law? People will go to where the money is. If the government is loaning money, people are going to position themselves on the other side of that money spigot, especially when they are not on the hook for repaying it. In this case, it is universities, colleges, public institutions, private institutions, nonprofits and for-profits, and dozens of other companies that remain in the background while hoovering up the billions of dollars the government gladly lends to students— creditworthiness and ability to pay back is not a factor.
If you haven’t noticed, college tuition has skyrocketed lately. In the past 20 years, the cost of tuition at public fouryear colleges has doubled, and in the past 30 years, it has tripled. At private schools, it has only doubled, but that is because it now routinely reaches over $50,000 for one year of tuition, fees, room, and board.
This doesn’t make sense from an economics perspective. Usually when the cost for something rises
dramatically, fewer people can afford it, which makes room for less expensive competitors to enter the market. But everyone can afford college, thanks to Uncle Sam standing at the entrance handing out larger and larger loans, so the prices can continue to rise without causing demand to go down. By the time students realize what they’ve gotten themselves into, they are up to their necks in debt, and it’s too late. It turns out that graduating from Duke University with a Bachelor’s in Canadian Studies, or from Brown University with a degree in Egyptology, or from Mississippi State University with a degree in Floral Management (all real degrees!) and $150,000 in student debt, doesn’t work out in the real world.
But we’re not done. Let’s talk about online university degrees. Today, online university degrees are a multibillion-dollar industry, and it all started in 2000 when Kaplan Inc, the company formerly known for SAT prep courses, bought a chain of vocational schools called Quest Education. Most of its schools were not accredited by the government, but one of them, Davenport University, was, and it was all that Kaplan Inc was looking for. An accredited university is needed if you want to connect yourself to the spigot of government dollars, as only they can be the recipients of federal monies. And thanks to a 1998 law pushed in by the Clinton administration to encourage distance learning, anything Davenport University did online also qualified for federal funding.
Kaplan Inc, under the name of Davenport University, began offering fully online degrees that year, and Pandora’s box was opened. They spent enormous sums on digital marketing, offering fully accredited degrees that would be paid for by Uncle Sam (loan!), and you could do the whole thing sitting in your living room in your PJs! University of Phoenix followed, and then came the scam artists. Companies were paid to enroll students, and they enrolled students by the millions. Many of the students had no idea what they were getting into. One company said it charged only $4,000 per term but forgot to mention to the prospective students that it ran on a five-term year instead of the standard two-terms. One company literally bussed homeless people in from lower income neighborhoods, and recruiters proudly told students that they would be accepted if they could “breathe, scribble their name, and have ID showing them to be older than 18.”
Eventually, the government caught on, and made some rules to discourage the abuse (and, to some degree, they were successful), but they couldn’t imagine the next move from the people clamoring to get at Uncle Sam’s green juice spigot. John Katzman was the founder of the Princeton Review, the biggest competitor to Kaplan Inc, in the SAT prep business. When he saw Kaplan go low, by creating online fauxniversities, he went high by creating a new company, 2U, and partnering with the biggest and most recognized universities in the country. He worked with University of
Pennsylvania, USC, UNC Chapel Hill, Georgetown, UC Berkeley, University of Maryland and the like.
He offered them a great deal: he would develop the courses, all the backend technology, the software, the registration, pretty much everything, and all they would give him was their name and access to some of their professors. He would get 60% of the revenue, and they would get 40%.
The deal was that much sweeter because it wouldn’t hurt their rankings. In the world of universities, the ranking in the annual US News and World Report is of utmost importance. The reason why colleges limit class size and are selective about the GPA of applicants is to score higher in the ranking. But
I’m free; I can stay up as late as I want, spend money on whatever I want, eat whatever I want. But that carries enormous responsibility.
online courses were not subject to the US News and World Report ratings, so these name-brand universities could accept people they would never accept to their campusbased programs, collect revenue on them while doing almost no work (2U would be doing all the work), and,
best of all, they would charge exactly the same price despite the fact that the online students would not incur any campus upkeep costs! A master’s in social work at USC (University of Southern California) costs $107,484, whether you get it on campus or sitting at your home in your PJs.
The green juice doesn’t stop flowing there. While the government only lends money for part of an undergraduate degree, the law is that master’s programs can be fully funded by money borrowed from Uncle Sam, as long as it is from an accredited college, which means that people can sign up for a $107,484 online master’s in social work and never have to put up a dime of their own money. It’s party time! Everyone started getting in on the party. The University of Pennsylvania offers an online master’s in applied positive psychology, which only requires a $66,000 loan, and 20 months later, you are a master of feeling happy about yourself! There are no prerequisite courses and anyone with a 3.0 GPA or higher can apply.
To understand how corrupt the whole online fauxniversity program is, we can look at the online master’s in computer science program from the Georgia Institute of Technology, also known as Georgia Tech. The program was created because Georgia Tech recognized that the US needed a lot more computer engineers if it wanted to remain competitive in the global economy, and it also recognized that many students didn’t pursue higher degrees because of the high costs.
So Georgia Tech set about creating a program that would simply break even, not lose money, but not make money. They got a grant from AT&T of $4 million to cover the startup costs. They now offer a master’s in computer science for $6,600. The computer science department
at Georgia Tech is rated number eight in the country. Columbia University’s computer science program is rated 13, and it charges $64,595. University of Southern California is ranked 20 and it charges $60,150. Toto, we’re not in Kansas…
Let’s summarize. The US is swimming in student debt. Massive defaults are already taking place, and experts assess that we’re going to have 40% defaults or more by 2030. (Now that the market has tanked due to COVID-19,
the default rates are sure to be much higher.) Who’s at fault? EVERYONE! The US government is at fault for giving out loans that no private company would ever give. Private companies assess risk before loaning money, and the US government doesn’t because it has no risk, it can just print more money. The students are at fault for taking out massive loans to obtain degrees that will both not give them the true training and skills they need to compete in their fields and will not enable them to earn enough on graduating to pay back those loans (it turns out, there are very few jobs for Egyptologists in the US these days). The universities are at fault for selling an outrageously overpriced product to students that they know will hurt them down the road far more than help
Does this sound familiar? It should. In the early 2000s, we had a very similar situation in the US. In 1999, in an effort to expand affordable housing (even to those who couldn’t afford it), the Clinton administration put pressure on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to offer more government-backed loans to lower income families. Soon you could see billboards saying things like: “No income? No problem!” or “105% loans—no down payment necessary!” When people didn’t have any skin in the game, they borrowed more and more money, and housing prices shot up. Mortgage debt in the US soared, and eventually in 2008 the bubble burst, and the Great
Who was guilty in the roaring 2000s? EVERYONE! The government for backing loans that clearly could not be paid, the people recklessly taking out loans they could never repay, and the companies running after as many consumers as possible, signing them up for products that they knew would not be of value to them, hurting them down the road far more than helping them. How did that work out? It’s all one big party with everyone dancing on both sides of Uncle Sam’s green juice hose, until the sun comes up, the light of day shines, and everyone crawls home, bruised, and battered.
Soon we will be sitting down to our Passover Seder. At the Seder, we do something called yachatz, where we split the middle matzah, and hide the bigger portion until later in the Seder when we eat it as the afikomen. What is the idea behind this bizarre tradition?
Passover is all about freedom, and the most important thing to understand about freedom is that freedom comes with responsibility. My five-year-old son doesn’t have the capacity to make responsible choices, so we don’t give him freedom: we tell him when to go to bed, when to wake up, we make his lunches for him, and require him to go to school to get a proper education. On the other hand, I’m free; I can stay up as late as I want, spend money on whatever I want, eat whatever I want. But that carries enormous responsibility. If I stay up all night long, playing video games, I won’t be able to effectively earn a living and my family will go hungry. If I spend money recklessly, I won’t be able to marry off my children or have a respectable retirement. If I eat whatever I want, I won’t be healthy and will likely not make it to 75.
A slave has no freedom, he can’t make good choices. And there are different kinds of slaves—physical slaves like the Jews in Egypt, and emotional slaves, like many Jews today. A physical slave is governed by his master and can’t save up for retirement because he gets no salary, can’t eat healthy because he doesn’t get to pick his menu. An emotional slave is one who believes he can’t make proper choices; a person who thinks he is stuck in such powerful negative traits that he has no ability to overcome them. An emotional slave will spend foolishly, borrow (and lend) recklessly, and act in ways that will bring him great remorse down the road. The more someone acts in ways that will cause himself future harm, the more of a slave he is. Free people, on the other hand, build great futures.
At the Seder, when we put away the larger piece of the matzah for later, we are showing that we are free people. We recognize that we can’t just think about what will make me happy right now, eat the whole matzah now, spend all that I have, but rather, what I need to do to ensure I’m okay down the line too. Every decision I make as a free man is based on what will make my life better for the long run, not just for today.
When G-d took us out of Egypt, He wasn’t just freeing us from the physical slavery, He was, more importantly, giving us the ability to be free and responsible adults, emotionally free and healthy. Fifty days later, he gave us the Torah, which is the instruction manual for responsible living!
Passover is a celebration of freedom, but as such is not just a time to say thank you, it’s also a time to introspect and ensure that we are using our freedom in a responsible manner, in a way that will ennoble us for decades to come.
Passover is a time to make sure we spend our life setting aside the afikomen, so that later down the road, we will be able to eat the bigger half, later in life, we will reap the benefits of a life lived free and right!
Have a great time exploring the city.
Outside of Israel, the holiday of Passover lasts for eight days. The first two, and last two days are considered full-fledged holidays and share most of the restrictions of Shabbat. The days in between are called “Chol Hamoed”, the intermediary days of the holiday. Many of the restrictions are lifted, but
they are very much part of Passover. We refrain from eating chametz, leavening, during these days. Since they are part of the special holiday, families often get together for some fun-filled experiences.
With the kids on a school break during Passover, it’s an excellent chance to bond with your family through fun outings and adventures. Here are some exciting ideas you can explore together.
Take in the sights, smells, and sounds of life on the farm and see (and pet!) live farm animals like chickens, goats, sheep, cattle, and draft horses. Visit a 150-year-old restored barn, a stone labyrinth, a grass maze, and an early skills area—including a blacksmith shop and brick oven.
• Daily 9am-6pm
• 4570 Huron River Parkway, Milford, MI 48380
• www.metroparks.com/kensington-metropark/ kensington-metropark-farm-center/
Where can you find bowling, arcade games, rock wall climbing, bumper cars, go-karts and laser tag in one place? Find it all and more at Nonstop! Entry is free, pay individually to play at any attraction or game. Check the website for height restrictions.
• Thursday to Sunday 10am-12 midnight
• 28300 Dequindre Rd, Warren, MI 48092
• www.nonstop-fun.com/attractions/
Ride, play, and create at LEGOLAND inside Great Lakes
Crossing mall. See Detroit-area landmarks made from millions of LEGO bricks and watch LEGO characters come to life in the 4D Cinema. Recommended for children ages 3-10.
• Daily 10am-9pm, Sunday 11am-6pm
• 4000 Baldwin Road, Auburn Hills MI 48326
• www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com/michigan/
Enjoy an opportunity to submerge in many of the diverse outdoor opportunities available in Michigan—while staying inside. Over 20 interactive and educational exhibits include fishing in a kayak, camping in a yurt, and riding the trails. Participants eight years of age or older can even try archery.
• Wednesday and Friday 10am-3pm, Sunday 12pm3pm
• 1801 Atwater St, Detroit, MI 48207
• www.michigan.gov/oac
In addition to enjoying the animals in the zoo, the festival will include an array of live music, a sustainable marketplace shopping experience, hands-on “green journey” activities, green education stations and themed photo opportunities. GreenFest is included with your purchase of admission to the Detroit Zoo.
• Sunday, April 16, 9am-3pm (the zoo closes at 5pm)
• 8450 W. 10 Mile Road, Royal Oak, MI 48067
• www.detroitzoo.org/events/zoo-events/greenfest/
A unique, 18,000-square-foot barrier-free playground where kids of all abilities can play inclusively. It features a two-story custom-made rocket ship in the middle, a musical area, accessible merry-go-round, ziplines, swings, and a special rubber surface. Inside Dodge Park No. 5, it is located near the new Commerce Township Library for even more fun!
• Daily until 8pm
• 180 E. Commerce Road, Commerce Twp., MI 48382
Lego blocks, robots, magnet tiles and more, there are plenty of activities to keep toddlers and bigger kids busy. This 3,000-square-foot facility encourages the use of science, technology, engineering, and math.
• 141 N Center St, Suite 201, Northville, MI 48167
• Tuesday-Friday 9am-6pm
• Reservations required
Families with kids of all ages can enjoy the fun—from trampolines, slides, and a toddler play area to pottery painting—there’s something for everyone!
• Daily 11am-8pm
• 8044 N Middlebelt Road, Westland, MI 48185
• www.yoyosfuncenter.com/
As the birthplace of the Ford Model T car, the Ford Piquette Avenue Plant is recognized as one of the most significant automotive heritage sites in the world. Detroit has many innovative and exciting museums to explore, including the Science Center, Greenfield Village, and Henry Ford Museum, Sea Life Aquarium and more. Visit Detroit Explore Pass Program (https://visitdetroit.com/ the-explore-detroit-pass/) and Museums for All (https:// museums4all.org/) offer discounts for admission to the many museums in the Detroit area.
• Wednesday to Sunday, 10am-4pm
• 461 Piquette Avenue, Detroit Michigan 48202
• https://www.fordpiquetteplant.org/
Learn about and try screen-printing in the Guest Artist Workshop. Tour the special exhibit on Printmaking, featuring more than 60 prints, posters and artists’ books by local, national, and international artists. Admission to the museum and the workshop is free for residents of Wayne and Oakland Counties.
• Sunday, April 16 anytime between noon and 4pm
• 5200 Woodward Avenue, Detroit, MI 48202
• www.dia.org/events/guest-artist-workshopscreenprinting-melissa-dettloff
At the hors d’oeuvre reception before a fundraising dinner, I was conversing with a friend, whom I’ll call Joan. Out of nowhere, Joan made a scathing remark directed at me. Reflexively, I took a step back and exclaimed: “I feel attacked! I don’t want to continue our conversation.” I turned and walked away, fuming. At that moment the loudspeaker announced that the crowd should enter the banquet hall and take their seats. From the corner of my eye, I saw Joan moving toward the right side of the hall. I went to the left, wanting as much distance between us as the walls would permit. I sat down at a table where other friends were chatting amicably, but I did not join in. I was miffed, hurt, and resentful.
According to Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, one of the greatest sages of the 20th century, there are two parallel universes: the World of Connection and the World of Estrangement. These are two completely separate worlds. The World of Connection is characterized by love, joy, tranquility, optimism, harmony, generosity, faith in G-d, etc., while the World of Estrangement is characterized by animosity, anger, resentment, anxiety, sadness, criticism, worry, fear, etc.
Although a person can flip from one world to the other very quickly, no one can be in both worlds at the same time, just as when looking at a Rubin vase, one can see either the white vase or the two black profiles facing each other, but not both simultaneously. Human beings are neurologically wired so that we
cannot see the vase and the profiles at the same time. Human beings are spiritually wired so that we cannot be in the World of Connection and the World of Estrangement at the same time. When we are feeling joy, we cannot feel fear. When we are feeling critical, we cannot feel love. When we are feeling resentful, we cannot feel tranquil.
When we are in the World of Estrangement, feeling anger, sadness, or fear, how do we find our way to the World of Connection? By using the “Spiritual GPS.”
The Spiritual GPS is a system, based on Rabbi Wolbe’s teaching, to get us out of the labyrinth of negative, isolating states. It consists of three simple steps.
STEP 1: Identify your location. When the GPS in your car is turned on, the satellite must first identify your position. Similarly, the Spiritual GPS starts with identifying your location: are you in the World of Connection or the World of Estrangement? A cursory assessment of your feelings will reveal your location.
STEP 2: Choose your destination. Once you have identified which world
you’re in, the next step is to decide where you want to go and key in your destination.
This might seem simple. Don’t we all want to go to the World of Connection, the world of love, peace, and joy?
Not always, because most of us believe in the four inalienable rights: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the right to stew. So if someone has hurt you (emotionally, financially, etc.), part of you gets stuck in asserting your right to stew.
Indeed, you do have the right to stew, but why exercise it? Let’s say you buy a six-month membership in a swimming pool for a very cheap price. When you get there, you realize why the bargain. You are standing in the pool, and you see that it’s dirty. Cigarette butts and dead bugs are floating on the surface of the water. The water itself is so grimy that you can’t even see your feet. You own the membership to this pool. You’re entitled to swim there. But would you really choose to stay in that dirty, disgusting place?
The World of Estrangement is a dark, sad, nasty place. If someone else’s wrong words or actions have propelled you into the World of Estrangement, you have the right to stay there. But if you’re in a pit, it doesn’t matter if you jumped in yourself or were pushed in, you’re in a pit. Do you really want to stay there?
So the second step of the Spiritual GPS is to choose where you want to go. The keyword here is “choose.”
No matter how shabbily you were treated, you do not have to remain stuck in the World of Estrangement.
The problem is that we are often duped by the Nasseri fallacy. Mehran Karimi Nasseri is an Iranian refugee who lived for 18 years in Terminal One of the Paris airport. For the first seven years, he was trapped there, after his passport and other documents were stolen while he was en route to London. Great Britain refused him entrance and sent him back to Paris, but he could not leave the airport lest he be arrested as an illegal immigrant in France. After a legal imbroglio that kept him in the airport for seven years, Belgium finally offered Nasseri the opportunity to live in Belgium. He refused. He had made the airport his home, and despite other exit possibilities offered to him by various nations, he insisted that the offers did not meet his criteria. Nasseri continued to live in the airport for 11 more years, until ill health forced him to be hospitalized.
The World of Estrangement is as untenable a residence as the Paris airport, but we often claim to be stuck there when the exit door is in fact open. The second step of the Spiritual GPS is to choose whether you want to reside in the World of Estrangement or leave it for the World of Connection. You are never stuck. Whatever the provocation, ultimately you inhabit the world you choose to inhabit.
If you choose to go to the World of Connection, the third step plots your course to that felicitous destination.
STEP 3: Plot your course through an act of giving. With the Spiritual GPS, you do not have to work through your negative emotions, delve into your subconscious motives, or analyze the other person’s wrong actions. You just have to get up and walk out of the airport. You do that by any act of connection. Since you can inhabit only one world at any given time, doing an act of connection instantaneously removes you from the World of Estrangement. It’s that simple, and that effective.
In Judaism, “an act of connection” must be an act of giving. The word for love in Hebrew is ahava, which comes from the word “give.” The only road to the World of Connection is through acts of giving. This does not necessarily entail giving material objects (although flowers are always nice). You can give a smile, give a compliment, give emotional support, give thanks, give the benefit of the doubt, or forgive, as in the following map:
According to Rabbi Wolbe, all the mitzvahs of the Torah bring a person to the World of Connection. The positive mitzvahs, such as the commandments to love your neighbor or lend money to a needy person, clearly create connection. The negative mitzvahs, such as the prohibitions against stealing or speaking negatively about others (lashon hara), prevent falling into the World of Estrangement. In addition to relationships with other people, the other two basic relationships are with G-d and with oneself. Although it is beyond the province of this article to illustrate how every mitzvah leads to the World of Connection, Rabbi Wolbe quotes the Talmudic sage Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya, who said: “Life is for love,” and then explains: “This is the message of the Torah… the essence of life is love. For this we are called to build a World of Connection through our Torah and our mitzvot. This is the entire Torah.”
So there I was at the fundraising dinner, sulking, resentful, and critical, my mind full of escalating recriminations against Joan. (Why does she always have to act like that? No wonder she doesn’t have any friends!) Everybody around me was having a good time, but I was wandering aimlessly in the Land of the Livid. I wanted to find my way out. So I decided to use the Spiritual GPS.
STEP 1: Identify your location. That was easy. I was sad, angry, and critical, which meant that I was in the World of Estrangement.
STEP 2: Choose your destination. I chose to go to the World of Connection. Even though Joan was the initial instigator, it was my choice to dwell in the World of Estrangement. I decided to forfeit my right to stew. The World of Estrangement is, as its initials indicate, a place of WOE. Choosing to stay there would have been like standing in the living room of a ratinfested house with the toilet leaking foul-smelling waste everywhere and waving my deed to the house as I
insist on my right to stay there. Would any sane person consciously make that choice?
STEP 3: Plot your course through an act of giving. Any act of giving would have worked. It did not have to be to the person who had offended me. I could have turned to the woman sitting next to me and given her a compliment about her suit. But as long as I was traveling to the World of Connection, I wanted to go first class.
So I got up, walked across the hall, found Joan, stood behind her chair, leaned over, planted a big kiss on her cheek and said: “I love you and I don’t want to be estranged from you.” Presto! I was in the World of Connection.
Note: Until the actual moment when I gave her a kiss, I did not love Joan. How could I? I was in the World of Estrangement. (When you’re in the World of Estrangement, you can’t love anyone.) But waiting to make up until you love the person you’re estranged from is like waiting for wildflowers to bloom in central Antarctica. Just as Antarctica has no wildflowers, the World of Estrangement has no love. Giving a kiss catapults you into the World of Connection where love blooms aplenty.
You may be wondering: how did Joan respond? The truth is, it doesn’t matter; the other person’s actions do not determine my choice of which world I want to inhabit. But Joan did look up at me, smile, and say: “I love you, too.”
I could have spent the evening (or a week) fuming inside the Paris airport. Instead, my GPS showed me the way to the exit.
Published with permission from Aish.com
Sara Yoheved Rigler’s YouTube channel is “From Within the Walls of Jerusalem,” where she relates stories, presents gems of Jewish wisdom, and teaches practical life tools. Her newest book, I’ve Been Here Before: When Souls of the Holocaust Return, is the product of eight years of research into reincarnated souls from the Holocaust. She is also the author of six best-sellers: Holy Woman; Lights from Jerusalem; Battle Plans: How to Fight the Yetzer Hara (with Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller); G-d Winked: Tales and Lessons from My Spiritual Adventures; Heavenprints; and Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup. She gives a weekly Marriage Webinar for Jewish Workshops on a spiritual approach to marriage, with hundreds of members throughout the world. She lives in the Old City of Jerusalem. Her website is: sararigler.com.
No matter how shabbily you were treated, you do not have to remain stuck in the World of Estrangement.
There is a knock at the door. The two women, mother and daughter, open the door and quickly usher the guest into a quiet room at the back of the house. She is a woman in labor and is expecting a child to arrive very shortly. Just moments pass before the room is filled with the joyous cry of a new life. A new baby has been born! Another Jewish child! But the joy is mixed with fear. Will this baby be discovered? Her baby! Will he escape the evil decrees of the wicked Pharaoh? The mother, exhausted from labor and wrought with worry, has little reserves left with which to calm her new baby. But the midwives are unruffled. They are present and calm.
“Sh, sh, sh” says Puah, as her mother, Shifra, cleans the new little baby. “What a beautiful baby you are,”
she continues. And the murmurings continue as he is dried and wrapped. Fresh, beautiful, calm, and clean. The mother relaxes. They may not know what the future holds, but for this moment, in this quiet room, one more baby has been cleaned and calmed and handed gently to its relaxed mother.
It is Monday. You know Mondays because you have them too. The weekend is still close enough to smell, but just far enough that you don’t have time to stop for a sniff. I wake up with my head already filled with all that has to get done today. Throw in a load of laundry, make a quick breakfast for the kids, check backpacks, meeting at 9am, have the document done by 12pm… I am tired just thinking about it. I know my family and my home are my priority,
but today is busy! To think of my boss’s face when I share my newest project at the Monday morning meeting, that alone can bring a smile of satisfaction to my tired face. And the applause from my team! I can’t wait to finally be done with the document we have been working on!
I quickly grab the washing with one hand as I dab on some blush with the other. With a slam of the washer door, I’m practically already downstairs when I hear a low moan. “Moooommy…” This is sounding very ominous. This is not a family of low moans. I peek my head into my boys’ room and there I see it. It’s David. Face flushed, looking very sad and sick. Oh no… poor David. Poor me! My brain does a quick calculation as I rush to his side—I have two choices: I can get a babysitter to
be home with my cute, sweet boy, or I can call into work and let them know that I won’t be coming in this morning. No approval from my boss. No team applause. I sigh…
The two women arrive for their meeting with the mighty world ruler, King Pharaoh of Egypt. Shifra and Puah, mother and daughter, a team of midwives with a purpose.
"And the king of Egypt said to the Jewish midwives, one of whose names were Shifra and the second’s name was Puah, and he said: “When you assist in childbirth for the Jewish women, and you see upon the birthing stool that it is a boy, you shall kill him. And if it should be a girl, allow her to live.”
(Shemos 1:1516)
Comply with Pharaoh’s wishes? How could they not? He is the most powerful king! The mighty ruler of Egypt and most of the world! To cross him means to risk your life! And yet… how could they comply?! Charged with the mission of helping new mothers bring their babies into this world, they could not veer from their purpose. They would not. Only G-d, the real world Ruler, King of all, would dictate their behavior. They would help these babies live! They would continue on their mission to bring life to the Jewish people, one little baby at a time. In secret. If only G-d’s dictate matters, His applause is all they need.
David looks up at me through tired, heavy eyes. I read trust in them. This little boy already knows what I will choose. He is clear on what my
mission is—to be his mother above all else. And that’s how I find myself at the medical clinic instead of at the Monday morning meeting. No applause, no recognition, just another mom making the choice to put her role of mommy first. And then we are called in. As I walk with David into the exam room, I notice a new sign up on the wall: “Do the right thing, even when nobody’s looking.” I smile.
Who were these two heroic women who risked their lives again and again for the sake of their mission? The Torah does not waste a word, and yet, they are mentioned prominently. Surely we are meant to learn from their great courage to stand up to the great and mighty Pharaoh in favor of G-d’s command.
Shifra and Puah were the great Jewish women who were better known as Yocheved and Miriam. Yocheved was the wife of the Jewish leader of the day, and the mother of the greatest man to ever live Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses). Miriam was a great prophetess who would later lead all the Jewish women in song as they crossed the Red Sea on their way out of Egypt. These were intellectuals! They were well known among the people! They could have taken on almost any role! But the Torah tells us which role they chose by calling them by their names, Shifra and Puah.
“Shifra this was Yocheved. She was called by this name because she beautified the baby.
“Puah this was Miriam. She was called by this name because she
poo-pooed and spoke gently and cooed to the new baby, just as a woman calms a crying baby.” (Rashi, Shemos 1:15)
We are impressed with their strength to stand up against Pharaoh’s word. They had courage to choose G-d’s word above all else. In their names we learn a lesson of a different kind of strength. Rav Rudderman shares that the seemingly small actions of these great women is actually what defined their greatness! Calming and washing a new baby? Does that not seem infantile in comparison to sharing deep Torah thoughts from a state of prophecy? We don’t minimize either one. Greatness lies in the small actions, in the actions done and the choices made when it is likely that nobody will ever know. There is no applause in the small decisions of today and tomorrow.
No applause, no recognition, just another mom making the choice to put her role of mommy first.
But it goes even farther than that. Rav Moshe Shternbuch stresses that the greatness of these women was precisely in the massive strength each one contained. They surely could have gotten top jobs on Wall Street or given deeply intellectual classes to masses of women. And perhaps they did in their off times, but where did they choose to direct their strength? Where did they utilize the talents and strengths they possessed? Within their holy role of Jewish mother. They chose to take their strengths and direct them in service of G-d, channeled straight through the most important role He charged us women with, building the Jewish home.
Dr. Davis enters our exam room. David is wrapped in my arms with his head resting on my shoulder. “Hello sweetie,” she says in her calm and gentle manner. She looks David right in the eye: “You look like you don’t feel so great. Can you tell me where it hurts?” and then, turning to me, she adds: “With G-d’s help, we will help him feel better soon.”
Dr. Davis is one of the kindest people I know. As a middle-aged woman who never had children of her own, Dr. Davis seems to be one of the most important parts of ‘the village’ in which I and my contemporaries are raising our children. I feel David’s little body relax in my arms. He intuitively feels the gentleness, the calm that the doctor conveys. And with that, I relax too.
Shifra and Puah have completed another mission: another baby has been born. The little Jewish neshamala has been cleaned and calmed. The mother is already more relaxed. And to make sure they have really done all they can, Shifra and Puah now turn to the new mother with a plate full of nutritious food. (Shemos Rabba 1:19) Her weary face seems to lift in a full body smile; she feels the love, the care, the support! As she eats, she feels all the tension finally melting away. G-d sent her these two incredible women! She can do this! She can bring this child home and raise him! No matter how long she will have with him, she knows it’s
from G-d. She now feels that she has the strength and fortitude to carry on.
As I thank the receptionist on my way out of the clinic, and take David’s hand in my own, I thank G-d for this privilege. I am a woman in the chain of our mothers and grandmothers. I am choosing to channel my strengths, in my service of G-d, to my role of mother. There is no applause at the dinner table and no major compliments when I wake up yet again to feed the baby, but I know that greatness really lies in the small moments, in the moments that are just me, in service of G-d.
And lastly, I thank G-d for women like Dr. Davis, who, like me, are our modern-day Shifra and Puah, building up women, building up families, accomplishing G-d’s mission every day.
Looking out for one another is the way of the Jewish people.
BY RABBI PAYSACH KROHN
In April of 1945, the Skulener Rebbe, Rabbi Eliezer Zusia Portugal (18961982), was in Czernovitz, Bukovina, which was part of Romania, but was occupied by the Soviet Union at that time. The Jews who had survived the war were weary, poverty-stricken, and broken-hearted. Although many of the few survivors had returned to Czernovitz, eventually they would all leave.
A few weeks before Passover, the Skulener Rebbe considered how he could obtain Passover matzahs for his fellow survivors and his family. The Rebbe sent one of his chassidim, Fishel Kerpel, to a local farm to buy a small amount of wheat. After Fishel returned, they milled it into flour and started making a limited number of matzahs. The Rebbe knew other rabbis who had come back to Czernovitz, so he made packages of three matzahs to be given to each of them.
One of the returnees, the SeretVizhnitzer Rebbe, Rabbi Boruch Hager (1895-1963), had an eightyear-old son named Moshe, who eventually succeeded his father as the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Haifa. He related to me the following incident:
As a young boy, he came to the Skulener Rebbe and said: “First, I would like to give the Rebbe regards from my father, the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe. Second, my father asked if
the Rebbe could give him matzahs for Yom Tov.”
The Skulener Rebbe was so happy to see Moshele. “Give your father my special regards,” he said. And he gave the young boy three matzahs.
The boy took the matzahs, thanked the Rebbe, but then added sheepishly: “My father said that I should ask the Rebbe for six matzahs.”
“How can I give you six?” the Rebbe responded. “I don’t have enough to give everybody.”
“What should I do?” the boy asked. “My father said that I can’t leave until you give me six matzahs.”
The Skulener Rebbe knew the SeretVizhnitzer Rebbe was an esteemed tzadik, so he said: “I will give your father the six matzahs. Give your father my warmest regards, and he should have a chag kasher v’sameach.” Excitedly, young Mosheleh took the matzahs to his father.
On erev Passover, Moshe returned with three matzahs and gave them to the Skulener Rebbe. “What is this?” the Skulener Rebbe asked.
“My father said I should give these matzahs back to the Rebbe.”
“But why then did he ask for them in the first place?” the Rebbe asked incredulously.
Moshe answered with awe and respect. “My father knew that the Skulener Rebbe would be so kind to everybody that he would give away all the matzahs he had and probably wouldn’t even have three good ones for himself. Therefore, he wanted them in order to save them so the Rebbe would have three perfect matzahs for the Seder.”
And those indeed were the matzahs the Skulener Rebbe used at the Seder!
While the Skulener Rebbe was thinking of everyone else, the SeretVizhnitzer Rebbe was thinking of him. Two great hearts, two great minds. Who is like your people Israel?
Taken from Rabbi Paysach Krohn’s Haggadah, printed by Artscroll/ Mesorah. Reprinted with permission from Artscroll/Mesorah.
While the Skulener Rebbe was thinking of everyone else, the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe was thinking of him.
As the Egyptians deprived the Israelites of their sense of autonomy, they were also close to robbing them of their faith and identity.
BY YAACOV LYONSWhile conscious experience is a powerfully dynamic mechanism, it rarely feels like we are in the driver’s seat. Neuroscience and psychology have significantly advanced, but the human condition remains an enduring mystery. We still don’t fully grasp why some people are more prone to depression and anxiety. Or why some individuals tend to be more resilient than others. In fact, we don’t even understand why conscious awareness feels like it does.
A frustrating aspect of the psychological process is its elusiveness. In darker periods, our minds can feel like a cage to which we don’t have the keys. A restricted or negative thought pattern can be far more difficult to escape than any external scenario. Even if not in extreme form, many
of us will face this struggle sooner or later. Indeed, it’s no secret that modernity’s many pressures have made anxiety and depression a norm. Health professionals diagnose a mental disorder in more than 50% of American adults throughout their lives, with one-fifth of the country’s population suffering from a psychological condition each year. Of course, people should take all necessary health measures when encountering an emotional crisis; that is a given. But how does Judaism respond to these challenging experiences?
Passover presents an opportunity for partially developing such an approach. While the Exodus from Egypt was a historical event on a societal scale, the Chassidic masters’ elaboration on its significance
reverberates with implications for the individual today. Etymologically the Hebrew name for Egypt, Mitzrayim, can be associated with the word meitzar, meaning a place of constriction. Chassidic thought considers every Jew to experience both exile and redemption, transcending his or her constricted existence and entering a state of expansiveness. On a personal level, events like these parallel the national experience of the enslaved Israelites that occurred thousands of years ago.
The Chassidic commentaries have thus recast the Exodus narrative as an allegory for each individual’s day-today vicissitudes. This reinterpretation allows us to relate to the historical account on a more subjective plane, finding meaning in the complexities of our own lives.
We gain strength and hope in our journey by connecting personal trials and a broader Jewish tradition.
As devastating as physical enslavement must have been for the ancient Israelites, psychological trauma would have had even broader implications. While slavery is an act of material restriction, it is also a spiritual and emotional assault on the enslaved. As the Egyptians deprived the Israelites of their sense of autonomy, they were also close to robbing them of their faith and identity. So much so that the Jewish people had become almost indistinguishable from surrounding Egyptian society; the verse goes as far as to compare G-d’s act of extracting the Jews from Egypt to the action of removing one nation from the womb of another. In other words, we had become enmeshed and inculcated into our surrounding milieu so that our very life force was now inextricably linked with our oppressors. It was like removing a stubborn noodle from a pot of boiling water.
Even to an objective observer, the situation would have appeared dire. There is no other way to cut it; the Jewish redemption was a close call. So close, in fact, that our sages teach that by the time of the Exodus, we had descended to the 49th level of impurity. We were teetering on the precipice of spiritual oblivion. If we had sunk to the 50th rung, G-d would no longer have considered us worthy of redemption. It only gets bleaker for Jews when you think that the Egyptian state was one of the
most potent hegemonies of the era, wielding vast military resources.
We, too, can find ourselves similarly restricted in our own lives, miserably occupying a void where despondency and desperation are the only possible reactions. No amount of rumination, meditation, or paid vacation offers hope for a way out of our mind’s crushing labyrinth. But it is precisely here, in the depth of hopelessness, where we can be privy to the Jewish understanding of G-d’s redemptive mechanism.
What is evil? What is darkness? We aren’t interested in their definitions but in their essence. Foreshadowing this dialectic between dark and light, exile and redemption, our ancestor Joseph is mercilessly left to rot in an Egyptian dungeon. Events then catapult him from the depths of incarceration to the halls of political authority. The verse reveals the time has come for him to finally leave jail, but the Midrashic response is cryptic. For reasons unexplained, our sages make a connection between Joseph’s release and the phrase, keitz sam lechosech—’G-d gives an ending to darkness.’ Their use of the term keitz here is critical. We generally translate keitz as ‘ending,’ but other such words are available in the Biblical lexicon, for example, kaloh. Is there anything unique about the word keitz?
We can more accurately render keitz as meaning ‘to cut’, i.e. it denotes an externally imposed end. And this distinction illuminates an essential dimension of understanding. Vis-a-vis
As devastating as physical enslavement must have been for the ancient Israelites, psychological trauma would have had even broader implications.”
our worldly experience of evil, there seems no apparent reason for darkness to have a natural end. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks once pointed this out to Richard Dawkins, insisting hope has no rational basis. However, as the Ramchal (18th century Kabbalist, ethicist and philosopher) explains in his classic work, “Derech Hashem”, there always comes the point where G-d will pull the plug on evil. The collapse of the USSR is an excellent example of such a phenomenon. At the time, there were no identifiable causes for the Soviet state to disintegrate almost overnight as it did. Even today, historians are still unclear about what exactly led to the unforeseen eclipse of a seeming world power and military juggernaut. Crucially, we see that the end of darkness is rarely imaginable for the individual immersed in it. G-d, on the other hand, observes evil from an elevated perspective. Unlike humanity, which is limited to the reality they inhabit, G-d can conceive infinite options beyond our present scope.
We could list a multitude of legitimate avenues with which to approach mental health issues—prescription medication, participating in therapy, relaxation techniques, exercising regularly, meditation, and more. Yet the sheer range of approaches speaks to our difficulty pinpointing a solution to a highly inconsistent challenge. Thus, some have accused psychology of not qualifying as a science. Unlike other medical disciplines, we cannot break down psychological treatments into exact rules or laws. Furthermore, the field relies heavily on subjective interpretations of data and experiments, making it challenging to draw definitive conclusions. In reality, the mind’s inner workings are so varied that they resist the concept of being constrained to a singular system.
But in an age that seems to present an oven-ready fix for any given problem, these frustrating facts surprisingly allow us to experience the guiding hand of G-d. When a previously unconceived or misunderstood option surfaces and eventually evolves into a solution, we experience an almost magical transition from a place of constricted thinking to a place of openness. And in doing so, we gain new meaning in understanding the Psalmist’s profound words: “Out of my straits I called upon the Lord; He answered me with immense expansiveness.”
Our approach may offer another angle for understanding the culminating miracle of the Exodus narrative—G-d’s splitting of the Red Sea. Caught between a blood-baying Egyptian militia on one side and the ocean on the other, the Israelites had no way out. In light of the geological reality, Pharaoh would victoriously contend that “They [the Israelites] are trapped in the land. The desert has closed in upon them.” Once again, the Jewish people were caught in that all too familiar place of constriction. Yet as they called to G-d “out of the straits,” His answer did not depend on any prior situational factors, but instead derived from “an immense expansiveness.” When G-d opened up the depths of the sea so that the Israelites could cross on dry land, He was unlocking an entirely unforeseen possibility. Such an option was obviously beyond the predictive capabilities of anyone present, Egyptian or Jew.
We all have moments, months and years in our lives, that seem like unforgeable expanses of ocean. Stuck in a cycle of monotony, unable to move forward. It is difficult to see a way out of such circumstances, and our options seem limited. Yet as the descendants and progenitors of this historic Jewish nation, we too can hope for G-d’s unforeseen solution. A transformative, transcendent occurrence. An answer that takes us to a place we had never dreamed of.
Yaacov Lyons studied for four years at the Yeshivas Bais Yisrael and is currently learning at the Kolel Zichron Shabsai V'Aryeh, in Jerusalem. He posts weekly thoughts on his Substack 'A Pondering Jew': yaacovlyons.substack.com.
Partners Detroit offers both a transformative spiritual experience as well as a fun social place to meet new people.
BY JENNIFER LOVYThe first time I walked into Platform 18—an open space with a modern and welcoming upscale vibe in Royal Oak—I hung close to the friend who had invited me.
Aside from knowing that this was a Partners Detroit hamantaschenmaking event, I didn’t know what to expect. After being greeted by the Partners educators, who would become mentors and friends over the next year, it didn’t take long to ease into a comfort zone.
Some of the seemingly unfamiliar faces turned out to be old high school and summer camp acquaintances. I didn’t know it then, but other attendees would become fast friends a few months later during a 10-day journey of a lifetime on a Partners-sponsored moms’ trip to Israel.
With a Pinterest-worthy set-up that included a coffee and hot chocolate bar, breakfast buffet, and cutely decorated tables, each participant had a seat with all the ingredients needed for making hamantaschen
As we gathered around the tables, rolling out dough and forming triangle cookies stuffed with jelly, chocolate, and other sweets, we listened with interest as Partners educators shared the story of Purim. Almost exactly a year later, I walked into the same space to make hamantaschen with far less uncertainty. I was excited to see a large gathering of familiar faces, meet new women, and soak up the inspiration I’ve come to expect from
Shaindel, Racheli, and Dassi, the Partners educators who know how to share their knowledge in engaging, entertaining, and relevant ways.
As I rolled out the dough, I reflected on the year as it related to my connection with Partners, an organization that’s all about making connections.
I thought about how this Southfieldbased entity helped connect me to Jewish women from around the metro Detroit area, the greater Jewish community, Israel, and my spirituality.
Between these two hamantaschen bakes, I’ve attended many Partners events as diverse as the Jewish women participating. Aside from learning opportunities, which have come in all forms, from informal Sunday morning breakfast gatherings to focused one-hour discussions on life cycle events, holidays, or the weekly Torah reading, for example, there have been casual walks on the West Bloomfield nature trail, pickleball at the JCC, creative Judaic craft projects, and more.
No matter what the forum or format, the programming is consistent and constant. Hardly a week goes by where I’m not attending a Partners event.
The highlight of the last year with Partners was a 10-day trip to Israel. Last May, the organization took 36 moms—primarily women in their 40s and 50s—on an unforgettable journey, providing us the chance to meet new people.
Before the start of the trip, a dozen of us arranged to fly to Israel a few days early. I went to stay with a friend who lives there, and the rest of the women arranged to spend a few days exploring Tel Aviv before meeting up with the entire group.
Unfortunately, delays with our New York-bound flight caused us to narrowly miss our late-night plane to Tel Aviv, and we had to spend the next 23 hours at JFK airport.
Myself and three women, whom I had met just before the trip and couldn’t remember their names until that day, were the first to make it past the ticket counter with our rescheduled flight. Tired and disappointed, we walked to the only on-site hotel. A few minutes later, I was sharing a tiny room with three strangers who would quickly become friends.
The next day was an exercise in passing time. We checked out of our rooms by noon and had nearly 12 hours left to kill at the airport. Reunited in the lobby with the rest
No matter what the forum or format, the programming is consistent and constant. Hardly a week goes by where I’m not attending a Partners event.
of the group, we spent the day laughing, lamenting, and getting to know each other. The same bonding experience would repeat itself a few days later when the trip officially began.
The mission itself was perfectly planned and executed. It was a good mix of traveling, learning, socializing, eating, laughing, dancing, and connecting with other women.
One of the things that made learning so fun and impactful was that so much of it occurred at the places we visited, like Masada, the Kotel, and Shiloh. For example, hearing about shmita (a time when land isn’t cultivated) at a farm provided an extra layer of depth and understanding.
Returning from Israel, my heart was full. This mission allowed me to focus on myself in a powerfully rejuvenating way that helped me find a deeper connection to Judaism. This includes lighting Shabbat candles with my family, so that during our busy lives, we make sure to come together as a family, even if briefly, and take part in our Jewish customs.
I am a working mom with three teens, including a child with autism. Raising a child with a disability is mentally exhausting. I didn’t realize the extent of the challenges until the trip, when I could take time to breathe. The trip took place on the heels of the pandemic, which was hard on everyone. I know I felt isolated from friends, family, and Jewish learning.
Before COVID-19, a small group of women I knew from another organization met almost weekly for a lunch-andlearn program. Unfortunately, the group disbanded, and I had a hard time getting motivated to find other learning opportunities until connecting with Partners.
As an adult, it can be hard to cultivate new friends. You’d expect that not everyone would bond in a group of 36 women. Partners did an excellent job of selecting what would become a cohesive group of women.
While it sounds exaggerated, here’s proof that I’m not stretching the truth. I wanted to take a quick road trip to Pittsburgh for a summer concert. Being the lazy planner that I am, I sent out a group text asking if anyone wanted to join me. I didn’t know who would respond, but it didn’t matter. I would have been happy to take a 10-hour total road trip with any of these women. One person joined me, and we had a fabulous time seeing Billy Joel and exploring parts of Pittsburgh.
At this year’s hamantaschen bake, I met a woman attending her first Partners event. We spoke briefly about my experiences with the organization, and she was genuinely interested in hearing about the organization. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing her at future events and can’t help but wonder if she’ll be at next year’s hamantaschen bake, reflecting on a fulfilling year of transformative spiritual experiences and making meaningful connections as I have through Partners.
Jennifer Lovy is a Detroit-area Journalist writing primarily about religion, parenting, and culture. Her work appears in various local and national magazines and online sites, including the Detroit Jewish News, B’nai B’rith Magazine, Hadassah Magazine, and Aish.com. Her writings also appear in secular publications such as SEEN Magazine, Romper, Scary Mommy, HuffPost, and Ravishly. She is a full-time wife and mother of three teenagers, a part-time business manager, and a recovering attorney. She considers herself a travel junkie, Peloton addict, and mediocre tennis player.
“I’ll take Popular Movies for $200, Alex.”
Answer: “This title is both the name of a WB superhero film and (more famously, I might add) the Partners Detroit Pre Passover Women’s Seder.”
Question: What is Wonder Woman?
That is correct!!
In truth, Wonder Woman (or Women) is not just the name of our program, but it really defines all Jewish women throughout history.
What is this power that makes us women so wonder-full?
Let’s journey back in time to the Passover story and discover the secret power that all Jewish women possess.
It all began back in Egypt, when the Passover story unfolded. Pharaoh decided to rid Egypt of the Jewish problem (yep, it’s a thing, unfortunately). His first plan was to have every Jewish baby boy murdered systematically, immediately upon birth. Unbeknown to him, his head nurses were two Jewish Wonder Women, Yocheved and Miriam. Not only did they defy his command, they actively ensured that the baby boys would survive. How?
The verse in Exodus 1:17 tells us: “The midwives, fearing G-d, did not do as the king of Egypt had told them; they let the boys live.”
These women lived with G-d. They felt His presence and had a real relationship with Him. It was this
relationship that empowered them in this difficult time. They were able to withstand Pharaoh’s tyrannical machinations because they did not fear or believe in him, only in G-d Himself, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe.
Plan A had failed. So, as the story goes, Pharaoh, after consulting with his pocket version of How to Be Diabolical and Megalomaniacal for Dummies, decided to set up labor camps hoping to break the Jews both physically and mentally (also a thing, unfortunately).
Plan B partially succeeded. The men gave up and felt there was only doom and gloom ahead. The women? Not a chance!
Yocheved and Miriam withstood Pharaoh's tyrannical machinations because they did not fear or believe in him, only in G-d Himself.
The Torah teaches us that the women in the hellish landscape of Egyptian slavery would go out of their way to beautify themselves and then go out to the fields to encourage their husbands. These women fashioned crude “mirrors” from pieces of copper and painstakingly polished them so that they could see their reflections and make sure their primping and preening was up to snuff.
While the men refused to bring any more children into the world that seemed destined for eternal darkness and despair, the women saw beyond it. Those powerful women—our great, great, great grandmothers—believed and trusted that there would be an end to the slavery. They wanted to bring children into the world to experience a redemption that was soon to come!
Rashi (1040-1105) tells us that after the Jews left Egypt (as our wonderful Wonder Women predicted) and it was time to construct the Tabernacle in the desert, the women wanted to participate. They marched up to Moses and presented him with their crude copper mirrors—the very same
mirrors they used to help beautify themselves during their slavery in Egypt!
At first blush (see what I did there?), Moses did not think it was appropriate to use these items— perhaps thought of as symbols of vanity and mundane physicality—in the house that’s purpose was to house G-d’s presence and to serve Him. However, G-d responded:
“Accept them; these are dearer to Me than all the other contributions, because through them the women reared those huge hosts in Egypt!”
The mirrors symbolized a steadfast faith and hope for the future so strong that it bore the next generation—the generation that witnessed the 10 plagues, the splitting of the sea and the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai!
The finale of the Exodus took place at the splitting of the sea. The Jews broke into song and dance and tambourine tapping. You may ask, where did they get the tambourines from (there was no Guitar Center
in the Sinai Desert)? It was Wonder Woman 2448-1312 BCE. Those women truly believed there would be a great salvation following the Exodus and even constructed and schlepped tambourines with which to celebrate.
This pattern repeats itself throughout history. When all seems lost, the Jewish Wonder Women come through time and time again with their faith and hope. It was they who refused to participate and donate jewelry for the golden calf. It was they who would not accept the lies about the beautiful land of Israel.
This Passover, we present to you Wonder Women 5783-2023. We live in a world surrounded by pain and suffering, sadness and difficulty. At times we may feel abandoned and betrayed by G-d.
This is our moment. Our moment to connect to G-d. Our moment to infuse hope to all of those around us. Our moment to be strong for our loved ones.
And no, it doesn’t have to be a copper mirror. A warm piece of potato kugel, a kind word of encouragement or a delectable matzah ball at the Seder will do.
So ladies, let’s earn our title and take our place in the long line of Jewish Wonder Women and, through us, the next generation will flourish with joy, prosperity, and eternal light.
Racheli Indig hails all the way from Brooklyn, NY. Between the Women’s, Teen, and Family Divisions, she’s always making something happen. Indig teaches weekly Torah classes, is the Program Coordinator for Partners Teens’ Girl Time, and is involved in all the Family Division excitement. In addition to planning and coordinating national and international trips, invigorating programs, and special events throughout the year, Indig is our in-house source for games, icebreakers, and team-building activities. Indig is our Challah Queen baker and braider. When she’s not busy with all of the above (or her husband and six kids), Indig enjoys creating Partners promo and Powerup videos and photo books, and playing basketball.
The Partners trips and programs involve women seeking knowledge of their rich heritage, meaningful and deep friendships, and a strong and supportive Jewish community.
BY DASSIE BAUSKI remember lying awake one night before my very first Women’s Division Israel Trip with Partners. I was absolutely terrified. How was I going to connect with women whom I had never met? What do we share in common? Could we have meaningful dialogue? How would the group become a cohesive unit in just 10 short days?
I needn’t have worried. Forty Jewish women started out on that journey as acquaintances—at best—and returned to Michigan bonded by deep friendship and sisterhood that is difficult for me to describe to those who did not experience the journey with me. I have been on multiple Women’s Division trips since then and am always amazed at the special ladies who join Partners trips and programs. These ladies are “seekers.” Seeking knowledge of their rich heritage, seeking meaningful and
deep friendships, seeking a strong and supportive Jewish community.
As the saying goes: “Seek and ye shall find.” Polina Stryk, who joined our most recent Israel trip, shared: “During this trip, I forged incredible bonds with 35 Jewish women, most of whom I did not know before. They became my friends, my sisters. Each of us with different backgrounds, professions, stages of life, unique purposes and gifts. Each of us searching, learning and growing. Each of us a holy soul, a candle of G-d. Each of us different and yet the same: an important piece of the tapestry that makes the Jewish people.”
The incredible women are the meat and potatoes of the Partners Women’s Division. Many of these women started coming to Partners by joining one of the Israel or Euro/Israel trips. These 10-day missions are truly the
journey of a lifetime: Prague, Rome, Budapest, Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, the mystical city of Tzfat, the archaeology of ancient Shiloh. Touring, learning, rafting, singing, hiking, swimming, dancing. The beauty of Partners is that we don’t just take a group of women on a trip and say sayonara or l’hitraot. On returning to the States, there are a plethora of learning opportunities to join as part of the follow-up programming.
Learning opportunities include one-on-one sessions with a Partners educator, or chaburahs—small group study sessions—facilitated by Partners educators or madrichot (facilitators). Our twice monthly Sunday morning “Mom Time” is a popular program. This year, we are exploring the Book of Exodus over Sunday morning brunch. “Foundations,” our groundbreaking monthly lunch/dinner and learn series, delves into the building
blocks of Judaism to provide women with a deeper understanding of the core principles of our faith. All of these programs include thoughtprovoking content, trademark Partners camaraderie, and of course, delicious food!
At Partners, we strive to nourish the body as well as the soul. Friday mornings are our chance to work up a sweat before the weekend. In the spring and summer, we run our Step it Up program—a speed walk along the West Bloomfield trails. In the fall, we introduced our Pickleball league for the very first time. The women’s competitive spirit came to the fore as both experienced and novice players went head to head at the JCC of West Bloomfield. Both programs include a Shabbat dvar Torah (talk) and the ladies always leave feeling refreshed physically and spiritually.
Shabbat and holidays are times for family—and that includes our Partners family. Our Pre Rosh Hashanah Challah Bakes and Chanukah parties are highlights for many ladies. Most recently, we hosted over 75 women, both Partners veterans and
newbies, at Platform 18 for our Purim hamantaschen bake. The Wonder Woman Pre Pesach Seder is always filled with lots of Seder ideas, Passover customs, and spirited singing. But perhaps one of our most beloved programs is “A Taste of Heaven,” where Partners educators conduct private challah bakes that we bring to individual homes, thus giving Jewish women the chance to partake in this mitzvah that has spanned millennia and generations right in their very own kitchen. As Michelle Rosenfeld put it, after she asked Partners to coordinate a challah bake in her home, in honor of her daughter Taylor’s upcoming bat mitzvah: “We all loved your energy, warmth, and mad braiding skills! We all can’t thank you enough for taking time away from your families to spread some Jewish love into our home… by the way, the bread rose beautifully... it’s baking in the oven now!” Building community means being there for each other in times of joy and difficulties. Sweet and Savory is a community kindness program. Volunteers cook and deliver homemade food to families busy with joyous occasions or experiencing challenging times.
Have you had enough or are you hungry for more?
The Partners Women’s Division team is always brainstorming new programs and ideas as we continue to facilitate the events that we presently run. Our next Israel trip is scheduled for May 2024, and we already have women enquiring if they can participate. Thank G-d we have seen tremendous growth as the Partners family continues to expand.
I smile as I remember that terrified woman unable to sleep before her first Israel trip. Today I anticipate every Partners program with joy and excitement. I know I will be spending time with friends who possess both open minds and open hearts. Occasionally, one of my kids will enquire: “Where are you going?” as I head out to a Partners event.
“To work,” I reply, knowing what the response will be.
“Right Ma! You enjoy your job waaaaay too much to call it work!” Out of the mouths of babes…
Dassie Bausk hails from New York City but loves the tight-knit Detroit community. Bausk joined the Women’s Division team two years ago and has been planning programs, giving classes, leading trips, and bonding with our Women’s Division ladies ever since. Additionally, Bausk and her family host and study with many University of Michigan students and alumni, as her husband is a Rabbi on the University of Michigan campus. Bausk is also a certified Occupational Therapist and works part-time in the Bais Yehudah Girls’ School. Bausk combines her passion for teaching Torah and working with children, all in a week’s work.My mission with Partners Detroit is to develop sincere, caring relationships with high school and college students, and young professionals and give them the opportunity to connect and develop meaning in Judaism and their relationship with G-d and the Jewish people, which is a part of their identity.
In pursuit of this mission, we began the sports leagues, to connect Jews from all different types of backgrounds who very likely would not have met each other if not for playing sports together. We structure the teams specifically with people who don’t know each other playing together to build invaluable bonds, relationships, and one-of-a-kind camaraderie.
The Partners Detroit sports leagues welcome all Jews to join in and connect.
Our leagues consist of a summer flag football league, winter basketball league, one-day tennis tournament and, most recently, a one-day pickleball tournament. The leagues are competitive yet friendly and all Jews are welcome. We are now in our fourth year and the friendships and building of community that have formed is phenomenal!
It’s a very special opportunity and great sanctification of G-d’s name.
I also do a number of other things to enhance this mission. We have a special Torah club with great food for the FJA high school students. We have dinner and learns with the Farber high school students, as well as a group of students at MSU. There are opportunities to study one-on-one with myself and other rabbis or businessmen/women in the community. We host special events, Shabbat dinners, Shabbatons and offer other opportunities as well.
We strive to meet the interests and needs of anyone and everyone in the Jewish community and are always striving to do more to enhance these relationships!
Rabbi Shmuli Wolf is not only a Jewish athlete, he is also a Rabbi athlete, two words that aren’t often used together. He has taken his acumen for sports and used it to build a strong Jewish community. By starting football and basketball leagues comprising young Jewish professionals from varied demographics, Rabbi Wolf has managed to build friendships that transcend differences. Rabbi Wolf enjoys teaching Torah in individual and group settings, and his home is always open on Shabbat to the many young men and women of our Jewish community.
BY RABBI NOAM GROSS
After three years of trying, we finally made it to Morocco! The journey began in 2020. Partners was excited about running its first ever Morocco trip in the summer, a place that’s had an uninterrupted Jewish presence for over 2,000 years! But as everyone knows, COVID-19 shut down the
world in March, quickly putting our plans on the shelf.
Eventually, life returned to normal, and we had a new date in sight, January 2022. All the plans were finalized, and the flights were booked. Things were looking great
until the Omicron variant took the world by storm, and Morocco closed its borders to tourism a week before the trip was set to start. Once again, our plans had been dashed.
We figured we would give it one more try in January 2023. For the
Third time’s a charm for the YP Morocco trip, which eventually took place in January 2023.
third time, we moved forward, putting the whole trip together. And as they say, third time’s a charm.
The Partners YP trips always have a certain formula. We fill up a bus with Jewish YPs from different cities as a way for them to meet new people and expand their horizons. For many years, we’ve run trips together with Project613 out of Chicago and JHYPE out of Houston. Our vision for these trips is a combination of visiting the must-see tourist attractions, experiencing the major Jewish sites, and learning about Jewish life there in the past and present.
We took off on December 24th , a freezing Saturday night in the middle of a major winter storm. A big flight delay caused us to miss our connecting flight in Paris, heading to Marrakech, and the delays were so bad that they told us the next available flight was on Tuesday morning! After some quick thinking, we asked them to fly us that same day to Casablanca, and our amazing tour provider JROOTS
sent us a minibus—with kosher food for dinner—to take us to our hotel in Marrakech late Sunday night! It was the last night of Chanukah, so we lit the candles and said the blessings before finally retiring for the night.
We woke up Monday morning very excited to begin this amazing trip. Day one entailed visiting the beautiful and serene Jardin Majorelle Gardens, the majestic Bahia Palace, the medina (the old walled city) and its 500-yearold synagogue, and camel riding in the desert.
My personal highlight was driving to the famous Atlas Mountains and its ancient 2,000-year-old Berber village that was mostly Jewish until 1948. The village is still full of residents, and JROOTS arranged for a kind Muslim family to invite us in for tea, which was made from scratch in front of us. It was incredible to be inside a 2,000-year-old home where Jews had lived until recently. One thing that stood out was how bare the house was. The ancient concrete walls had clearly never been painted
in all those years. Rabbi Garson— our guide—told us that he once asked an old Moroccan Jew why it was like that. He said that we were always waiting for the Messiah, so why invest too much importance in such meaningless things. Wow! Talk about having your priorities clear. They viewed Jewish life in exile as temporary to such an extent that when it came to the material world, they were only interested in the very basic necessities in order to focus on more elevated pursuits the rest of the time.
Day two started with a hot-air balloon ride near the Atlas Mountains at sunrise (#bucketlist), and then we were off to Casablanca, which is home to the largest Jewish community today. We toured the only Jewish museum in the Islamic world, prayed in the beautiful and famous Bet El Synagogue, and toured Casablanca City. The highlight of the day was definitely meeting with the inspirational Rabbi Sebbag, who runs the local Jewish day school. If not for him, I don’t think there would be
any future for the Jews of Morocco. Before 1948, there were 300,000 Jews in the country. Now there are only a few thousand! But he is rebuilding their future, one child at a time.
Day three began with a visit to the enormous Hassan II Mosque, the second-largest functioning mosque in Africa and seventh biggest in the world. I told our group that it’s important to learn from every experience, and as historians describe how the Second Temple inspired incredible awe from everyone who visited it, we had a small taste of that feeling in the magnificent structure we visited. In the same vein, the Talmud encourages us to meet earthly kings so that we may get a small taste of being in the presence of G-d, the King of kings.
Then we set off for Rabat, the modern capital of Morocco. We visited the old Jewish quarter, and we stopped by the mausoleum of the late king Mohammed V, who famously protected Morocco’s Jews from being annihilated in the Holocaust. Next we were off to Meknes, which was once known as the Jerusalem of Morocco and is now home to only seven Jews. We visited the old school and cemetery, where many great Jews of the past were buried.
Day four started off in the famous city of Fes, a designated UNESCO World Heritage Site, founded in the late 700s. We went to its old synagogues and the giant old cemetery, and then headed off to the ancient medina, the old city. We visited the famous tannery, factories, and shuks, and many of us left with authentic Moroccan garb, perfect for the upcoming holiday of Purim! We bid farewell to Fes and drove to Tangiers, where we took a ferry boat across the straits of Gibraltar to Spain, and then drove down to Gibraltar. The boat ride was special, as this was a route that many of our ancestors took when they fled the radical Islam of ancient Morocco to the safe shores of Spain, which was then an empire of moderate Islam and a place where Jews could live and prosper.
Before moving on to discussing Gibraltar, I do want to note that the kosher Moroccan food we had during our trip was some of the best food I’ve ever tasted. And the five-star hotels were all very much appreciated after a long day of touring. JROOTS did a phenomenal job organizing and running the trip.
Day five, a Friday, was spent enjoying the many unique experiences of the ‘Rock’ (Gibraltar is a British territory at the southern tip of the Iberian peninsula, famously situated on a giant mountain known as "the Rock.")
We visited the Upper Rock and explored the massive caves, took in the breathtaking views (you can see the mountains of Morocco across the water), and played with the friendly monkeys who live freely at the top of the Rock. Then we went back down for a boat ride, accompanied by the many dolphins that swim in the waters of the straits. They were amazing to watch!
Afterwards we had free time for some tax-free shopping and getting ready for Shabbat.
The Jewish community in Gibraltar is both warm and welcoming. We prayed in their beautiful shuls, ate in our kosher hotel, and met with community leaders. Shabbat came to an end with a moving Havdalah ceremony, and then we got to watch the New Year’s fireworks light up the Rock in spectacular fashion!
We said our tearful goodbyes and headed back home on Sunday. As amazing as this trip was, a trip is only as good as the people on it, and we had a great group of YPs with us! We left looking forward to the reunion Shabbaton we scheduled in Chicago.
Here’s to a trip that created powerful Jewish experiences, beautiful memories, and lifelong friendships. L’chaim!
Choosing who to marry is the greatest decision you will ever make. This is the rest of your life we’re talking about here. And a relationship, when you get down to it, is really just having someone to do life with.
The people who struggle are those who get caught up in the wrong things—in chasing the high, in thinking they’re living in some sort of romantic comedy movie, in not seeing clearly what truly matters in a partner and what doesn’t.
I’ve been writing about relationships and coaching people for 14 years, and the best advice of all is this: choose wisely!
Here are some of the key qualities to look for that make someone “the one.”
They love your good qualities and accept and embrace the bad without making you feel guilty for having flaws. You don’t need to hide your true self from your partner and put on a front in order to be what you think they want. You can share your true self and be vulnerable and feel safe doing so,
knowing that, if anything, it will make them feel even closer to you.
They are there for you when you need them, even if it’s inconvenient. A partnership will sometimes require sacrifice and compromise. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. You can’t predict what will happen and nothing can possibly go as planned 100% of the time. The right person for you will be there for you when you need them. They will be in it with you; they will be your partner in whatever happens and will weather the storm with you.
They consider you when making decisions, both big and small A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Factoring you in shows that they respect you and want to create a life with you, not simply envelope you into their world. Our worlds can be comfortable when we don’t have to compromise, so it’s not always easy taking someone else into account and factoring in their wants and needs and preferences, but that’s what a relationship is.
They are growth-oriented. No one is perfect; we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and white— usually, a person’s greatest strength is linked to their greatest weakness. In a relationship, their behavior affects you (and vice versa) and sometimes their less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growthoriented person will want to work to strengthen their character. A person who isn’t growth-oriented will say it’s your problem and that this is just the way they are, and you need to deal with it.
For example, you’re dating someone who can be insensitive at times. Maybe they don’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day, and instead give you matter-of-fact advice in a direct way. This no-nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you, when they don’t empathize with what you’re going through. Instead, they just tell you what to do about it or get impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something they don’t consider to be that big a deal.
You want someone who will accept that their tone can come across as harsh and hurtful to you, and who actually tries to work on that; not someone who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. They probably won’t get it right every time, but if the person is growthoriented, they will at least try.
They have similar beliefs and values. This one seems so obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Love does not, in fact, conquer all. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face major hurdles ahead. If this person is going to be your life partner, you have to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure they respect where you stand (and vice versa) and that you’re both willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding about your differences.
Everyone’s values are different. For some, their values will be rooted in religion. Other people value a strong work ethic, while some value a commitment to a healthy lifestyle. It may sound trivial, but I’ve seen very serious, long-term relationships end because one person couldn’t deal with the other’s lack of ambition or motivation.
They view you as an equal partner. The relationship is something more than each of you individually... together, you are a team. And as that team, you are both individually stronger than you
could be on your own. They see you as an equal, as a person of great value, someone they can grow with. Not someone who is there solely to satisfy the other person’s needs and stroke their ego.
Your person should respect everything about you—your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job. They don’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and appreciate the person you are and the choices you have made.
(For women) He wants to make you happy. One of a man’s most fundamental needs in a relationship is to make his woman happy. It may not always feel like it or look like it, but it’s true. In order to truly bond with a woman, a man needs to feel like he can make her happy. And when a man truly cares for a woman, he wants to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Love is a selfless thing. If you love people because they make you feel great about yourself, then it isn’t real love. When a man shows he genuinely cares about you and your happiness, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of his own happiness, then you know his feelings are for real.
Your partner communicates with you, even about tough issues and even if one of you is upset with the other. With the right person, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the boat. You know they respect
you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together, and this starts with open communication.
…
They want to make it work. They are willing to put in any amount of effort. If there is a problem, they want to find a way to solve it. They want to work harder, to be better, to be their best self. The important thing to keep in mind is that people have different ideas about what it means to put effort into a relationship. A man might believe that working hard and being good at his job is putting in effort, because he wants to provide for you and give you nice things and a comfortable lifestyle. Meanwhile, the woman feels like she’s not a priority and is doing all the work. Even the most perfect, made-for-eachother couple will face bumps in the road. The strength of a relationship isn’t how you interact when everything is perfect, it’s how you interact when times are tough and conflicts arise.
The right one will want to stay and fight for it. The wrong ones will leave as soon as things get slightly uncomfortable.
Sabrina Bendory is a pioneering blogging entrepreneur who is globally recognized as a dating and relationship expert. She co-founded the website ‘A New Mode,’ where she wrote relatable and insightful articles about relationship dynamics that have helped millions of people achieve the love they desire. Today, she is one of the most authoritative and popular sources for dating advice on TikTok and Instagram. She is married with three children and lives in the Five Towns. Her bestselling book, You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self, was published in 2023 and is the ultimate guidebook to life and dating.
As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer, it is the perfect time to start fresh and declutter your home for Passover. Spring cleaning is a time-honored tradition that many people embrace to refresh their living spaces and start the new season with a clear mind. Not only does it create a clean and organized living environment, but it can also help to reduce stress and increase productivity. By decluttering your home, you can create a sense of order and tranquility that will help you feel more relaxed and focused.
With these 10 tips, you can make your Passover spring cleaning a success and start the new season off on the right foot.
Getting in the right mindset can make all the difference when it comes to decluttering. Start by creating an environment that inspires and motivates you to tackle the task at hand. Put on some music and get your groove on (and maybe diffuse essential oils that promote focus and clarity). Make sure you have plenty of natural light
and fresh air in the space you’ll be working in. Finally, take a deep breath and remind yourself of the benefits of decluttering—a clean, organized living space can reduce stress and increase productivity.
Make a list of the areas in your home that need decluttering and prioritize them based on their importance. This will help you stay focused and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Don’t try to declutter your entire home in one day. Work in one room at a time, setting aside the right amount of time for each room and finish decluttering and organizing that area before moving on to the next.
Set up boxes or bags labeled “keep,” “donate,” “sell,”
and “toss” to help you sort through your belongings quickly and efficiently.
Decluttering your entire home can be overwhelming, so it’s crucial to set achievable goals. Break down the process into manageable tasks. Set a deadline for each goal to help keep yourself accountable and motivated. Celebrate your progress along the way and be patient with yourself—decluttering takes time!
Don’t hold on to things that you no longer need or use.
Be honest with yourself about what you really need and what you can let go of. Prioritize items that are frequently used or have significant sentimental value. It can be challenging to decide what to keep and what to let go of, but by focusing on items that you use regularly or that hold sentimental value, you can make more informed decisions about what to keep in your home. Consider donating or selling items that no longer serve a purpose in your life and focus on surrounding yourself with the things that truly bring you joy.
As you declutter each area, take the time to organize what you decide to keep and assign a home to each item. Decide where the items you keep will “live.” Remember to make it logical and accessible. Store items you use all the time near where you use them. Store infrequently used items up high, or in another storage area. This will help you maintain a clutter-free home in the long run.
Invest in storage solutions such as bins, baskets, and shelving to keep your belongings organized and easy to find. Make sure not to buy the containers until you have sorted, purged, and assigned a home to each category! Once you know what you want to put where, you can measure the space and then go out and buy the containers that reflect your style and fit in the space. Make sure your containers are the right size for your space, easy to take in and out, and that they look good in the room.
Once you’ve sorted and “containerized” your belongings, take the extra step of labeling your containers and shelves. This will help you and your family remember where everything belongs and ensure that everything gets put back in the right place.
One of the most critical aspects of decluttering and organizing your home is to establish a system that works for you and to maintain it regularly. Over time, your needs and priorities may change, and your belongings may accumulate or shift. Therefore, maintaining your space is the last and most important step in organizing your home. Make sure to go through each space in your home regularly and purge anything that is no longer needed, expired, broken, and the like.
Organizing and decluttering your home can be a challenging and time-consuming task, but the benefits are well worth the effort. A clean, organized living space can reduce stress, increase productivity, and bring a sense of calm to your daily life. Remember to take it one step at a time and be patient with yourself throughout the process. An organized home is a happy home. So, start organizing and decluttering today, and discover the new you that’s been waiting to emerge!
In addition, I would like to share a few useful organizing hacks for four important rooms in your home: the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and playroom. With the right hacks, you can keep each room tidy and well-organized. By implementing any of these hacks, you can maximize your space, reduce clutter, and make your home more functional and beautiful.
1. Use a Lazy Susan to maximize organization in both your fridge and deep pantry shelves. Place a Lazy Susan on one of the shelves in your fridge and use it to store condiments and other small items that tend to get lost in the back. For your deep pantry shelves, place a Lazy Susan on the shelf and use it to store spices, oils, and other small items. This way, you can easily spin the Lazy Susan to find what you need, instead of digging around in the fridge or pantry and knocking things over.
2. Use a pot and pan holder. A pot and pan holder is a great way to keep your cookware easily accessible. These holders come in a variety of styles; choose one that fits your space and needs and use it to store your pots and pans in a way that makes them easy to find and access when you need them.
3. Use drawer dividers. If you have a lot of utensils and other small items in your kitchen drawers, use drawer dividers to keep everything organized.
4. Use decanting to organize dry goods. Decanting is the process of transferring food items from their original packaging into different containers. This can be a great way to keep dry goods organized in your pantry, especially if you have limited space. Choose airtight containers that fit your needs and decant items like pasta, rice, and cereal into them. This will help you see exactly what you have on hand and avoid buying duplicates. Plus, decanting can make your pantry look neater and more organized overall.
1. Use the file folding method inside your drawers. This method involves folding your clothes so that they can stand upright in your drawers. This way, you can see everything at a glance and save space.
2. Keep your nightstand clutter-free. Use a tray or a small basket to keep items like your phone, glasses, and remote control. This way, you can easily find them when you need them and keep your nightstand looking neat.
3. Use under-bed storage. Storage containers that fit under your bed can store out-of-season clothing or other items that you don’t need access to every day.
1. Sort toys by type. Group similar toys together in designated bins or baskets. For example, put all the stuffed animals in one bin, all the blocks in another bin, and all the cars in a third bin.
2. Create zones. Divide the playroom into different activity zones, such as a reading corner, an art station, and a dress-up area. This helps kids know where to find what they need and where to put things back.
3. Encourage cleanup. Make cleanup time fun by turning it into a game. Set a timer and challenge kids to see how quickly they can put away all their toys. You can also sing a song or use a fun phrase to signal the start of cleanup time.
1. Use drawer dividers. Drawer dividers are a great way to keep your bathroom drawers organized. They can be used to separate different types of products like makeup, hair accessories, and toiletries.
2. Utilize the back of the door. The back of the bathroom door can be a great spot for storage. You can also use over-the-door hooks to hold towels.
3. Use a shower organizer to hold shampoo, conditioner, soap, and other shower essentials.
Deena Frankel is a professional organizer, wife, and mother of three children, and Founder of DCLTR, a business located in Oak Park, MI that is dedicated to helping clients declutter and organize their lives. With a passion for creating order and simplicity in both work and home environments, Frankel has built a successful career helping others streamline their homes, offices, and schedules. As a busy mom and wife, she understands the unique challenges that come with balancing work and family, and is committed to helping her clients find practical solutions that work for them. Frankel can be reached at 248.635.6014 or at DCLTRLLC@gmail.com.
It’s buzzing, pinging, ringing, binging. Technology bombards us with noise. And while this noise often takes the form of shrill, intrusive sounds, it can just as well manifest as a host of different distractions. Sometimes it’s the content-churning, cash-burning, concentration-spurning streaming services. In other cases, it’s a torrent of trivial tidbits spewed forth from the shadowy underbelly of social media.
Already three decades ago, psychologist Kenneth Gergen proposed that the incessant racket of technology would lead to a fractured vision of the self. After being drawn by stimuli in a thousand directions, a person gradually loses his identity. “I am linked, therefore I am,” he mused, grimly parodying Descartes. Speech and information have reached a state of meaninglessness.
It’s tempting to blame Silicon Valley for all of our woes. From Facebook to TikTok, social media empires make for convenient scapegoats. Truth be told, tech corporations are largely responsible for today’s devastating mental health crisis. But the rot goes far deeper than that. Social media and technology merely
hold a magnifying glass up to humanity. While they may have amplified our flaws, societal decay had already taken root. But what exactly lies at the core of our cultural dysfunction? And how should we go about preventing or ameliorating its harmful effects? Is it even possible to cut through all the noise?
We have centered our discussion on a noted quality decline in human speech and information. The Zohar (one of the central Kabbalistic texts) refers to the Jews’ enslavement in Egypt as an “exile of speech.” What this means, Rav Moshe Shapiro (recently deceased, prominent Talmudist and thinker) explains, is that as much as the Egyptians exploited our physical bodies, so too they dictated the content of our language. Such a reality meant that the very words we used in communication ceased to be our own. Throughout the works of the Rambam (pivotal 11th century Jewish theologian and codifier of Jewish law), we see that intellect and understanding are the closest representation of the core self. Under Pharaoh’s oppression, our words failed to reflect our inner essence, thus
becoming disconnected from their true roots. Much like in our generation, an allencompassing but empty society stripped language of the profound meaning that flows from a person’s soul.
Drawing a parallel between Egyptian culture and ours is all well and good, but how does it get us any closer to addressing the problem at hand?
One Midrashic teaching indicates that each supernatural calamity handed down by G-d simultaneously played the role of punishment for the Egyptians and a cure for the Jewish people. An understanding of this is that every public disciplining of the Egyptians clarified the debilitating effects of corrupted civilization on the Hebrew nation, thus enabling us to target and nullify the defects that had crept into our national psyche. As we will see, the second plague of frogs, which occurred as part of the Exodus narrative, is crucial to comprehending the toxic cause and effects of unending senseless speech.
Unlike many of the other 10 plagues, the Torah does not portray the frog infestation
A verse in the Midrash features the grotesque imagery of frogs jumping into the throats of the Egyptians.
in terms of the physical damage it wrought. For example, by the plague of wild beasts, G-d’s threat is that:
“... I will incite against you, your servants, your people, and your houses a combination of dangerous creatures...” (Shemos 8:17)
The language of mashliach—incitement to violent damage—is nowhere to be seen concerning the pesky frogs. Instead, we see words such as shoratz swarming And when the verse deals with the actualization of this aquatic apocalypse, it declares
“....and the frogs came up and covered the land of Egypt.” (Shemos 8:2)
As Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky (currently a Rosh Yeshiva in greater Washington) explains, it was primarily the vast numbers of frogs that made the epidemic so excruciatingly unendurable. One lively frog makes for a charming pet. One million croaking frogs will drive a man insane. The cacophony of frogs formed a maddening soundscape, causing the air to vibrate and the earth to tremble. In the wake of this unearthly chorus, men were left feeling helpless and hopeless, their hearts heavy with dread and despair. Infinite multiplication of noise therefore defined this particular plague.
Indeed there is a negative relationship between content and sound. When one’s words are linked to his intellect, they are necessarily limited by the boundaries of his knowledge, understanding and judgment. Even if a person has a vast amount of expertise, his words will
still be limited in scope and insight. In contrast, those who leave their speech untethered from all intellect make the biggest racket. Sound without insight is empty and shallow. It may be loud, but it lacks the depth and resonance of carefully considered content. For a good reason, the assertion that ‘an empty barrel makes the most noise’ is a well-worn cliche.
A particular verse in the Midrash features the grotesque imagery of frogs jumping into the throats of the Egyptians, so that when they tried to speak, all one could hear was croaking. This occurrence reflected the actual reality of Egyptian speech back at them. All their words were just noise, completely detached from the inner self. Their rasping speech was hollow, devoid of meaning.
The current cultural climate is saturated by an overwhelming racket. But the empty bluster and clamor indicate something more threatening than just an annoying distraction. Ours is an era in which we can no longer hear ourselves think. As one perceptive author observed: “People don’t want to listen to their thoughts, so they fill the earth with noise.” The abundance of sound and distractions hides the loss of an ineffable world—the world of the soul. We are so focused on what’s outside us that we have become strangers to ourselves. Our culture has lost its capacity for introspection, for looking inward. It has forgotten the importance of silence, the value of being still.
But what, then, is the solution? Tellingly, when Moses brings the plague of frogs to an end, he does so with a tzaakah—a cry.
What differentiates a cry from mere words? Words can be an effective mode of persuasion even if they do not reflect a person’s inner emotional state. Untruthful assertions can be rendered incredibly convincing if they are delivered with apparent passion and conviction. A sly or glib politician can convince anyone of anything, and a salesperson invokes evocative language to sell inferior products. A cry, in contrast, directly reveals an individual’s deepest desires. Try to fake a sob, and one risks the accusation of crocodile tears. To cry out in prayer, then, is the first step. We must allow our souls to be vulnerable before G-d. Sharing with Him our fears, joys, and sorrows. But this alone is not enough. By crying out, we may indeed open a window to genuine experience, yet we have all seen how such a space can disappear in a flash. Moments of clarity linger only to dissipate like smoke in the wind. The understanding we thought we’d finally grasped melts away like a dream upon waking.
Our sages teach that the entire purpose of redemption from Egypt was so that the Jews would receive the Torah at Sinai. Each of us has a place in the Torah that we can tap into at our core. Through its study, we can ensure that the inspiration we feel in that moment is not fleeting but is instead woven into the fabric of our lives. As we pore over the words of our sages, words of pure truth, we are reminded of who we truly are, inconceivably beloved children of an incomprehensibly majestic G-d. Let us reflect on this monumental theme as we read from the Haggadah this Passover. It’s time for us to break through the endless noise and tap into the serenity of the soul.
Every holiday has something unique about it that we are meant to focus on. During the high holy days, we focus our time on repenting and recognizing that G-d is in control of our lives. During Sukkot, we are focused on enjoying and celebrating G-d’s presence. Purim is a time of happiness and our spiritual renewal. Shavuot is a time for the renewal of our people through the receiving of the Torah.
So, what is Passover a time for? Cooking? Cleaning? Stress? This can’t be, even though some (including myself) might feel this way.
How stressful it becomes when one goes to the local supermarket before Purim has even arrived and sees the Passover products beginning to line the shelves. We have become obsessed with our Passover lists; when to start shopping, when to clean, where to clean first, and when to start cooking.
This link between time and Passover isn’t something we women of today invented. Rather, the link between time and Passover is interwoven from the onset of the holiday. When it comes to Passover, timing is everything.
When the Jews were leaving Egypt, it states in Exodus 12:17:
You shall observe the (Feast of) Unleavened Bread, for on this very day, I brought your ranks out of the land of Egypt; you shall observe this day throughout the ages as an institution for all time.
Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac (b. 1040 d. 1106), commonly known by his acronym Rashi, was the single most influential Jewish Bible commentator of the Middle Ages, and explains the following on this particular verse:
It is the ego that pushes us—or enslaves us—to think that we need to do all this preparation in advance. It can hinder our soul-fixing and deter us from the true purpose of the holiday.
One shouldn’t read the word as “matzot”, but rather read it as “mitzvot”, and so, just as we don’t let the bread rise, we should not let the mitzvah “rise.” When a mitzvah comes your way, do not delay.
So time is of the essence. The Jews had to eat their food in a hurry. Time mattered. It even became the basis for the holiday. That famous adage: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today” is very appropriate here. However, some have taken this concept too far.
Early on, I too took this concept quite seriously and literally. I tried to accomplish it all, and the quicker the better. I was working full time and raising a family of six children. Hosting for every holiday and Shabbat meal. Volunteering for different committees. You name it, I had to do it, until about 16 years ago, I saw and felt my personal life was out of control. It began to show its ugly head and it became obvious in reference to my relationship with food. Food was my way of coping, calming, numbing whatever chaos I might have been feeling or dealing with. I was then introduced to a twelve-step program that taught me one crucial word…NO.
I began to learn I didn’t have to do it all. I could actually say no to guests sometimes or perhaps say no to all the food I would serve. So instead of preparing two mains and four intricate side dishes, I began to downsize the amounts and kinds of foods I prepared. I began to hold a boundary around my personal time, and I could say no to all the
committees and begin to volunteer for one and not all. “No” became my friend. I began to learn that time was precious and sacred, and by saying no, I was preserving time; my time to be me.
While the name of the holiday may be: “The holiday of Spring/Aviv,” looking at it as an opportunity to do spring cleaning really isn’t the essence of what Passover is all about. Passover is the holiday of renewal and freedom. Another name for Passover is: “A time of freedom.” It is a chance to do some self-reflection and get your life in order. That is why the Seder is so called—in English it means “order.” To develop a sense of rhythm, pattern, and structure to all areas in which you might be lacking. When cleaning your house, you should be doing a mental cleansing as well, trying to set up priorities and boundaries, if necessary. By setting these boundaries and introducing “order” in your life, you are ultimately establishing who you are, what you stand for and what you identify with. With this concept alone, one can connect to the essence of the Passover holiday when we became a nation unto our own. We became a people no longer enslaved to Pharaoh, but rather the Chosen Nation of G-d.
As Robert Frost stated in his poem, Mending Wall: “Good fences make good neighbors.” This was definitely not an original idea… G-d had commanded the children of Israel to make a border around Mount Sinai at the time when we received the Torah. G-d was trying to demonstrate and teach us the importance of a
“fence” and how it distinguishes the relationship and enhances the connection one has with one’s neighbor and, ultimately, in the case of Mount Sinai, our relationship with G-d. The boundary sets the stage for understanding the balance between kindness to others and kindness to oneself—there has to be a healthy division.
Passover develops this concept by placing the focus on learning to set up a sense of order in our physical home, which, in turn, will enhance our sense of connection in our spiritual home.
For example, while cleaning your kitchen, you can focus on the area of food. Are you enslaved to your food? Are you missing intent when you say blessings? Are you lacking in knowledge about which blessings to say? With this mindset, each room can represent a different “room” in our lives—a different area on which we can improve. We can learn to set all different types of boundaries within our different compartments, i.e. “rooms”: emotional, material, mental, physical, and, most importantly, our personal time and energy. It is the ego that pushes us— or enslaves us—to think that we need to do all this preparation in advance. It can hinder our soul-fixing and deter us from the true purpose of the holiday. Yes, when the mitzvah comes our way, we shouldn’t delay, but let’s not bring it our way, rather the way G-d had intended. Enjoy the special times that G-d has gifted to us.
THERE ARE SEVERAL PRACTICAL WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR TIME BETTER, AND BY DOING SO, BOUNDARIES AND ORDER WILL FALL INTO PLACE. HERE ARE A FEW SUGGESTIONS:
1 2 3 4 5
It is important to know how you’re spending your time. Try to journal different activities you do, and the time spent doing them. Do this for a week. Include family time!
If you begin to see a pattern, great; if not, try to stick to a daily schedule. A schedule helps us become more efficient with our time.
It is also important to prioritize different goals and activities. You can tackle the most difficult task first or the ones that are more pressing. Try to set reasonable time limits; for example, if it is a task you really don’t enjoy (like folding laundry), put a timer on for 10 minutes and tell yourself it’s only 10 minutes, and then move on. Last, but most definitely not least: learn when to say no. Time is precious and be mindful that we are on G-d’s time.
Jordana Baruchov, better known as @Drinkitin_Jordana, is a middle school Dean by morning, Associate Director of Mentorship for Olami by afternoon, and Torah Influencer and Host of the podcast “Drink It In” at night. She can be reached on Instagram @Drinkitin_jordana or Jordanatorah.com or Jbaruchov@gmail.com.
Uncomplicated recipes that are as delicious as they are practical.
BY RABBI CHAIM FINK
What would a Jewish holiday be without the food? It always seems to go something along these lines: They tried to kill us. We won. Let’s eat! Passover in particular is a holiday where so many of our impressions and memories are connected to its unique foods. Whether it’s the matzah brei that we remember our bubbies standing over the stove frying, or the hot chicken matzah ball soup served at the Seder, so much of our Passover experience is connected to its special array of foods.
Sometimes we can find ourselves overwhelmed with all the cooking and food prep. For those hosting large crowds, or having their in-laws for the first time, or having their in-laws for all subsequent times, the thought of making all the meals can seem daunting. But let’s try not to stress too much! Aren’t the holidays meant to be enjoyed, and not weigh on us like a burden So here are some recipes to try to help.
I present you with four original recipes, all of which will hopefully make your life a whole lot easier. Two of them are great because of their simplicity. With few ingredients and short prep times, these are perfect for when you’ve finally had enough work in the kitchen. And the other two are great because they can be made well in advance, and they hold up just super in the freezing and defrosting process. Please enjoy, and I hope they will all enhance your Passover!
This recipe comes from my Bubby, the person who inspired in me a passion for cooking. It was one of the favorites among us grandchildren. When I learned how to make it, I marveled at how something so simple, with so few ingredients, could taste so good! This recipe is both vegan and gluten free, so it is good for both Passover and year-round. Another advantage to this one: you can make the onions in advance, and then leave the potatoes simmering on the stovetop all day long. When you get back home, you’ll have a hot dinner in minutes. Enjoy!
• 5lbs Yukon gold potatoes, peeled
• 2 large Spanish onions, diced
• ½ cup vegetable oil
• 1 scant Tablespoon salt
Sauté the diced onions in the oil on a low flame, until they are golden brown. Set onions aside. Boil the potatoes in a large pot of water. Once it has come to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer, and simmer for 4-5 hours (make sure there is enough water to prevent the bottom from burning). Drain the potatoes, reserving one cup of the liquid to be mashed into the potato mixture. Combine the hot potatoes, cup of reserved potato water, salt, and onions with oil. Mash while potatoes are still hot. Garnish with some chopped chives and a sprig of rosemary. Serve right away.
A pot of chicken soup goes a really long way. Especially if you have one of those massive stock pots! You can make enough soup for the whole holiday in just one go. But here’s the problem: Chicken soup doesn’t usually freeze too well. With just a short stay in the freezer, the vegetables go from firm and delicious to mushy and soggy. This recipe solves that problem. We will make a pretty standard chicken soup, just adding a few of the right kinds of extra vegetables for added creaminess, and after removing the chicken, we’ll blend the soup into a thick and rich creamy broth. There will be no vegetables to get soggy in the freezer, and it will freeze perfectly! Then, we’ll pizazz up the chicken from the soup by adding in some mushrooms, onions, and spinach, and freeze that too! I think you are going to love this one!
• 1 whole chicken
• 4 zucchini, cut into thick chunks
• 6 carrots, peeled and cut
• 2 large onions, peeled and left whole
• 3 celery stalks, cut into pieces
• 2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into halves
• 1 large tomato
• 8 cloves of garlic, peeled and left whole
• 3 large parsnips, peeled and cut into chunks
• Fresh dill
• Fresh parsley
• 2 Tablespoons consommé mix
• 1 Tablespoon of salt, heaped
• ½ teaspoon black pepper
Chicken & Spinach Mixture
• 1 whole chicken, the one cooked in the soup, skinned and deboned
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 bag of baby spinach, rinsed and chopped
• 1 box of mushrooms, washed and sliced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• ½ cup of water
• ½ teaspoon black pepper
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder
• ½ teaspoon onion powder
Place the whole chicken in a 10-quart pot. Fill with water until the pot is half full. Bring to a boil. Right before the pot is boiling, try to skim the surface. Add the vegetables, herbs, salt, pepper, and consommé mix. Bring the pot to a boil, then simmer for 8 hours, or overnight, covered. Chill, so that all the fat congeals at the top of the pot, then skim off the fat. Remove the chicken, making sure to get any parts that might have broken off. Using an immersion blender, blend the soup with everything left in it, until it is all thick and creamy.
To make the chicken mixture: In a large skillet, sauté the onion in olive oil. While the onion is sautéing, remove skin and bones from the chicken. Break up the chicken into little pieces. Add the chopped spinach into the pan with the onions, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring once in the middle. Add the sliced mushrooms, chicken, salt, water, and spices and cook for 10 minutes.
You can break the soup down into smaller containers before freezing. You can freeze the spinach chicken mixture either with the soup in its container, or separately in Ziplocs.
This recipe goes back many years, to when I was a little boy cooking alongside my Bubby in the kitchen. She was Hungarian born and brought many of her mother’s recipes across the ocean. Every year, before Passover, she’d make the most delicious stuffed cabbage. It took half a day, as she lovingly peeled each leaf off the head of cabbage after they had been soaking in hot water. She expertly stuffed the leaves with a chopped meat mixture and then simmered it all on the stove for many hours in a tangy sweet and sour sauce. I recently found this recipe in a drawer, written in my inexperienced eight-year-old penmanship. I still carry on the tradition and make it each year for Passover, only, I have made it a whole lot easier by cooking the meatballs alongside the cabbage and not stuffed in its center. This recipe freezes well and can be made weeks before the holiday.
Sauce
• 1 large head of green cabbage, thinly sliced (remove the outer leaves)
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 Tablespoon olive oil
• 1 46oz can of tomato juice
• 1 29oz can of diced tomatoes with juice
• ¼ cup tomato paste
• 4 cups of water
• ¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
• ½ cup of white sugar
• 1 Tablespoon salt
• 2 Tablespoons consommé mix
• ½ teaspoon black pepper
• Meat mixture
• 1 onion, finely diced
• 3lbs ground lean beef
• 2 eggs
• ½ cup water
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder
• ½ teaspoon onion powder
• ¼ teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon salt
Begin by sautéing the diced onions in olive oil until they begin to darken. Then add the sliced cabbage, and cook on medium flame for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the tomato juice, diced tomatoes, and tomato paste. Mix well. Then add water, lemon juice, sugar, salt, consommé mix, and black pepper. Bring to a boil, and simmer for 10 minutes. While the pot is simmering, make the meat mixture by combining all ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Raise the flame to medium before shaping the meatballs. By using the palms of your hands, roll the meat mixture into balls, and drop them, one by one, as they are shaped, into the simmering sauce. Once the pot comes to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 3 hours.
This is one of the easiest, tastiest, and healthiest ways to make salmon! Each bite explodes with a variety of complex flavors, and few foods pack as much protein as salmon. The generous amount of coarse salt will help bring out the natural flavor of the fish, and make sure to keep it moist by not overbaking. With a total prep time of around two minutes, this recipe is a keeper!
• 4 slices of salmon fillet
• 2 limes
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 Tablespoon olive oil
Place the salmon in a baking dish and drizzle or brush with olive oil. Juice one lime and slice the other into thin circles. Pour the juice of one lime on the fish, then sprinkle with kosher salt and chili powder. Place the lime circles on top of the fillets and bake uncovered, at 350 degrees, for 25 minutes.
Originally from the East Coast, and currently a lead educator for Partners Detroit, Rabbi Chaim Fink wears many hats. He is a teacher of Torah but will often don his chef’s hat when he and his wife, Shaindel, host people for Shabbat dinner in their home. He teaches inspiring and relevant Torah classes and leads services for the Men’s Division. The men and teens who are involved with Partners enjoy meaningful connections with Rabbi Fink. In addition to teaching, Rabbi Fink has a passion for cooking, and enjoys gardening and running.
Each bite explodes with a variety of complex flavors, and few foods pack as much protein as salmon
As we approach the Passover holiday, a certain memory inevitably pops into my head. Perhaps it has something to do with something at our Seder, but I’m getting ahead of myself!
A few years ago, I had an epiphany about shopping. It came to me one day as I was waiting on a long checkout line at the local supermarket and was watching the interactions between the customers and the cashier. I observed customer after customer proceeding to check out their items without even giving a glance to the cashier. Many of them were glued to their phones, and even those who were not on their phones basically ignored the human being on the other side of the counter assisting them with their purchases. Right then and there, I made two commitments to myself: (a) I would make sure never
to be on my phone when the cashier was tallying up my items; and (b) I would make a conscious effort to engage the cashiers in conversation. I pictured what it must be like to stand at a register for hours on end scanning item after item, the only sound being the steady “bloop bloop” of the scanner. I thought that speaking to the cashiers would break up the monotony of their job and also help them feel a bit more acknowledged.
This principle has actually been a part of our heritage for millennia, as the Mishna in Pirkei Avos teaches: “One should greet every person with a cheerful countenance.” Never mind the cheerful countenance, but at least the greeting!
The results of this little initiative have been astounding. Over the past few
years of paying attention and making small talk, I have actually gotten to know some of the cashiers at Target and our local Shop Rite supermarket, who now greet me as a friend and look forward to my shopping trips. I have heard from the college kids who work the night shift just to help them to get by. I have met retirees who were forced to go back into the workforce as they realized that they could not subsist on social security payments alone. And I have chatted with people who were laid off from other jobs and were temporarily working as cashiers to help make ends meet. Often, they do most of the talking and I just listen, and other times I struggle to keep the conversation going, but I find that they always appreciate this brief encounter, as do I! However, nothing prepared me for
The next time you go to a store, acknowledge the cashier and say something nice.
an incident that transpired a while back. It was one of those winter days when we had just heard from the meteorologist that a blizzard was headed to town. This sent the locals (including this local) scurrying to the grocery store to buy the staples, as no one wanted to be caught unprepared. To their credit, the grocery store had every available cashier on hand and every aisle open for business. Still, the lines were longer than usual, and people were a bit on edge.
The line moved slowly, and finally it was my turn to check out my groceries. In keeping with my custom, I warmly greeted the cashier, whom I had never seen before, and casually remarked how busy things were. She shared with me that she had been working for hours consecutively, and her feet were killing her. I thanked her for her commitment and casually remarked that she was playing a crucial role in my family’s safety and well-being by ensuring we would be well supplied when the blizzard struck. She replied with a tired smile.
At that very moment, a woman I did not recognize, who was shopping a few aisles over, looked in my direction and, in a shrill voice, remarked: “Oh my gosh! That’s terrible! A rabbi
(referring to me) who uses plastic bags for his groceries and doesn’t even care about the environment! Tsk, tsk!”
There was a noticeable silence as other shoppers looked my way. I was stunned, speechless. I did not know what to say. Suddenly, my cashier looked across the aisles and, with eyes ablaze, countered: “You be quiet now; don’t you dare talk that way against him! He is a good man if I have ever met one.”
I gathered my groceries together, muttered a brief thanks to the cashier, and staggered out of the store. The scenes of this brief checkout encounter kept replaying in front of my eyes. I had never realized the incredible power of showing respect to other human beings. I had never met my cashier before, we had spoken for less than 30 seconds, yet she had stuck her neck out to defend me—an absolute stranger—as a token of gratitude for the respect she had received.
The Torah teaches us that the value of a smile to an impoverished person is actually greater than giving them something to eat! The food is quickly consumed and forgotten, but the feelings of respect and self-worth
endure. So, the next time you are ready to pay at the register, put away your phone, look the cashier in the eye, and say something nice. I am telling you; it pays!
Now, here is the Passover connection. The very first paragraph in the Maggid section of the Seder, where we recount the story of the Exodus, is called “ha lachma anya”. Essentially, it is an invitation to anyone in need of a Seder to join us at ours. There is, however, one line that seems redundant: “Kol dichfin Yasai Viyaichal, kol ditzrich yasay viyifsach—all who are hungry come and eat, all who are needy come and be a part of our Passover.”
What is the redundancy of those who are hungry and needy? Again, we find the aforementioned concept. While we are inviting the poor and hungry to eat, it does not suffice merely to provide them with nutrition. We are urged to recognize so much more than just a “square meal” (no pun intended). True kindness also recognizes the need for recognition, the need for connection—and this need supersedes merely providing the hungry with a Passover meal!
Rabbi Shlomo Landau is the North American director of Olami Mentors and a sought-after lecturer and story-teller. For over two decades, Rabbi Landau was the rabbi at Torah Links of Middlesex County, a welcoming community in East Brunswick, New Jersey. He has also been a beloved teen educator for close to 20 years. Rabbi Landau’s inspiring and warm personality, coupled with his seemingly never-ending repertoire of remarkable stories, has endeared him to audiences across the globe.
Located just off the train tracks, Platform18 is nestled between Royal Oak’s bustling boutiques, gleaming high rises, and whirring gyms. With industrial decor, artisanal food, and an open floor plan, it’s designed for a rich array of programming:
