Amour. Issue 1

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TABLE OF CONTENTS. 1

Are you in love and the many questions we ask ourselves

2 Tell me if it hurts: Facebook and its stories of gay heartbreak and triumph 4 Love, games, and other drugs 6 Loving her

8 10

What fans the flames Show me your love

11 Love is 12

Love and its types



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Are you in love and the many questions we ask ourselves By Jewel Allison Abadiano Love is a big word- and most say, it is only for big boys and girls because it really is that big not to be used by people my age or even younger. Age doesn’t matter when you’re in love; but, of course, that is only true when consent is in the equation. When you’re feeling the tension, the butterflies, that big ol’ drum inside your chest that just doesn’t seem to stop beating as if it were imitating the beat of a really quick-paced rap of Eminem when you’re around that certain someone, then maybe- just maybe, you’re in love, or maybe, you’re just plain-scared of that person. Confused? Well, I know I am. If you’re one of those people who are terrified of falling hard for someone and feel like you already are, then this just might help your poor, ol’ confused heart- or brain, if you’re confident that it really isn’t love. How do you know you’re in love? Well first, you should ask yourself, “Do I want to grow old with him/her?”, “Do I want to rock my cool-ass walking cane with his/hers?”. Take note of the words “with him/her”, “with his/hers”, when you’re in love, you picture your future with that person -- whether moving in together, getting married, having kids, your kids having kids, and growing out white hair ‘til God knows when. You can’t be in love if you don’t want to be with that person for your whole life. Now, think whether you can’t go on another second without him/her. When you’re in love, you want to spend every minute of every day with that special someone -- but not to the extent where you feel completely obsessed about him/ her. Sure, it is fine that he/she goes away for a week, or a month or so. But if you are able to go on without thinking about him/her during the given time one tiny bit, then maybe, it isn’t love just yet. A person who is in love is terrified of the thought of his/her special someone moving, miles or maybe oceans away; but

will not back down just because of distance. The next thing you should know — if you truly value your person — is his/her opinions and interests. You don’t see him/her as perfection, rather you acknowledge his/her flaws and see them as things that make them whole. When you love someone, you love them wholly — including the flaws and annoying mannerisms. That person wouldn’t be himself/herself without the flaws, right? Being in love is to accept their flaws and to love their whole-being. Moving on, when you’re in love, that person teaches you to become a better version of yourself. Being with the person you love should make you want to take your life to the next level and be the best person you can possibly be. That is why there are some who call people who are in love “inspired”. Lastly, I think the best sign of being in love is when you put his/her needs and/or happiness first than yours. When you love someone, you would always find a way to make them happy. It would really hurt if you see your person cry or even go all down in the dumps. That is why you would go out of your way just to put that smile back on his/her face, because when you’re in love, for you, what matters is your special someone’s happiness. A Bible verse, 1st Corinthians 13:4-7, states that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Love is indeed a bittersweet feeling. A mixture of happiness with some tinge of sadness. When you’re in love, you get to feel all sorts of emotions. It’s amazing how one feeling can make you feel a ton more. That is how beautiful love truly is.


2 In the face of an impending heartbreak, one might normally cling to a friend to vent out to or to coaches who wish to give them advice (with a price, of course) but for some, they seek a more unlikely listener — Facebook. It all starts with the filling out of an anonymous form in Google. The header of the form page normally reads an inviting, “Leave your confessions here! We assure your anonymity.” along with a unicode text character of a smiley symbol in an attempt to gain your trust. Then in a huge textbox, you write to your heart’s content: your anger towards a love unreciprocated or your long sighs for a determined lover. Everything is under the veil of anonymity. Whether you cry or not during the process of writing is thankfully not indicated. Facebook pages then screen the “confessions” and share the ones worthy of an audience. While the idea of sharing feelings through a social media platform may sound absurd to most — not to mention childish and potentially lazy — the rise of confession pages have paved a concrete highway for members of the LGBT+ community to share stories of their heart’s losses and wins freely without fear for harsh scrutiny or hatred. Chosen from a pool of Facebook confession pages and edited for clarity and aesthetic, below is a story which painted a picture close enough to what it means to love under a rainbow flag.

Him, the burning building When he asked me what was wrong almost as frustrated as I was with his hand squeezing my arm, I could only respond with a helpless whimper. Just a few months ago, I first came across Adrian during the first day of class. At that point, we were lying on two opposite poles: he loved sports while I hated it and he had an infectious friendly bravado while I had none. Despite all the countless contrasts, he and I were both friends as we reconciled our differences in our love for the same music and the same books.

dear admin, i hope mapost ni sya

As the year progressed, so did our friendship. We hung out during weekends and holidays. On exam weeks, I would spend half the time clobbering him to study, half the time actually studying with him. On these fast-paced months that we were inseparable, I sought to know more of him. But instead of him, it was I that unravelled. It was hard for me to understand, albeit accept what I felt for him. Confused and bent on erasing this part of myself (which I then learned was impossible and unhealthy), I stayed away from

him. On lunch, I would eat alone. I’d stay at my house more than I normally would at weekends to which my mom would ask me where he was and why I wasn’t out with him. I saw that in my absence, I was easily replaced. He would stay with his other friends and I could only stand and watch in silence. I was angry with the fire I made by myself. Think of it as watching a burning building crumble, with matches that started the fire in the palm of your hand, wanting to hush its flames but choosing to do nothing in silence. A few weeks after, while I was heading out the university chapel, he grabbed my arm and asked me what’s wrong. He asked me if I was avoiding him, to which I said no. But he insisted that something was going on and he wanted it fixed. He didn’t want us to fall out in a suspenseful decrescendo and end with a flat line, he said. Seeing that I had no choice, I told him, “I like you.” A deafening pause. He nodded his head and after a few moments, looked at me and said, “I don’t know what to say.” He smiled. “But I like you. I like you so much too.” He tightened his grip around my arm. He leaned in forward and then kissed me in the forehead. I swear I felt the same fire reignite inside of me. — Today, we use social media platforms to basically do everything for us. They promote our business, make transactions, and buy our groceries but one power still remains more potent than the rest, the power of voice. Ultimately, these Facebook confession pages are more than outlets for people to vent out. They are the instruments to which we practice our right to speak, and for some, they are safe spaces to which all kinds of love could be celebrated and fostered without having the need to constantly explain one’s self preconfession. (Note: The name ‘Adrian’ used in the short story is fictional as names have been changed by the author during the writing of his Facebook confession. It was originally written and divided into two parts and was condensed into a single flash fiction for clarity and brevity. The original Facebook posts still stand present today.)


tell me if it hurts By Eric Noel Jabagat

facebook and its stories of gay heartbreak and triumph


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love, GAMES, AND OTHER DRUGS By Dan Angelo Sotto

D h o m

Some people love the thrill of talking to their soulmates or perhaps staring in their eyes. On the other hand some people love the thrill of peeking in corners and dominating a total stranger on online games. Some people have this addiction to romance, food or movies, while some people are simply obsessed with video games. I for one am not a hopeless romantic and rather find this sense of love when I play video games.


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Some people love the thrill of talking to their soulmates — while I love the thrill of peeking in corners and dominating a total stranger on online games.

D a n A n g e l o S o t t o i s a g a m e r. A l a z y hopeless romantic, Dan spends most of his time playing games (rather than meeting girls) For the past few years, video games have been exploding on the entertainment industry. With the emergence of technology there is breathes the evolution of video games. I can still remember myself playing brick game, snake & space impact on the cellular phone, and Pokémon on the game boy. Today you could play different kinds of games on different kinds of devices such as gaming consoles, personal computers (PC), and even on your mobile devices. Basically, there are all kinds of game for all kinds of people. My personal favorites are Dota 2 and Counter Strike Global Offensive(CSGO) are one of the most popular games on Steam. With both games being successful to a point where they initiate tournaments to different kinds of places all around the globe. Both games need skill and lots of practice in order to improve and have fun. Both games need 10 people, 5 on each opposing team. However, the games also have different modes where you can play in. Dota

2 has an arcade mode where you can play different types of games such as pudge wars, dota imba, etc. CSGO on the other hand has servers where you could play on bhop servers, ffa deathmatch, retakes, and other game modes. Dota 2 is a cool strategy MOBA game that has different types of heroes each having their own unique skills. CSGO on the other hand has 2 opposing forces, the Counter terrorists (CT) & terrorists (T). The terrorist must plant the bomb on a certain location while the CT’s must protect it. CSGO is a precision game, if you have great aim and great game sense you will become a great player, but you must continue to practice regularly to improve your skills. Teamwork is a key factor on both games that is why you must work together with your team in order to win. In sum, just like people, each game is unique and has their own quirks that sets them apart from each other. However, they also have similarities that allow you to appreciate and enjoy games of your preference. Be it MOBA, RPG, or FPS, if you truly love gaming you’ll find a variety of games to enjoy.


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Loving her By Keannu de la Cerna

The rays of the sun would somehow perfectly find its way to meet the hazel nut hue in her eyes. Her hair was a beautiful mess that curled towards the end of her spine. Her skin was that of a pale moonlight glowing in the midst of day. She was easy to love but hard to keep away. Loving her was getting lost in the thought of perfection. It was the sanity I found from hearing her phantom voices. The undeniable urges to stare at her as the length of her lashes curled to catch a new light. Loving her was each jolt of electricity from the slightest touch of her skin. It was this veil of silence over background noise so that all you could hear was the sound of your saliva as it swilled down your throat. Loving her was this conflict of not wanting to go to bed at night and not wanting to wake up in the morning, cause perhaps even the slightest taste of this fantasy could turn into an addiction.

Loving her was this discovery of my emptiness. It was this blank thought that I entertained over and over - this naive idea that I was in my own way, complete. Loving her meant finding yourself in a garden filled with the same sunflowers but still knowing each curve of her petals, each twist of her stem but more importantly, what her roots held on to. Loving her was finding a certain beauty in the way she would tilt her head towards the sky as she wheezed out an unfamiliar sound only later to be called laughter. This was everyday to me, every breath every heartbeat. It was music only I could hear and a song that only I could dance to. I saw her everywhere but I didn’t mind being insane. I was in love with her, and before I knew it she became this indefinite gravity with no floors or land to keep my feet from sinking into the void that is this love. Something would always lead me back to her — she was pulling me in as she drifted away. Loving her was easy, but having her love me was not.



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By James Dinn Tac-an

Why do people love? People say that it is the neurochemical mechanisms that create the unique emotional states involved in various forms of love, and others answer in ways that indicate their own experiences and observations of “loves” whose bases were barefacedly neurochemical in nature. If, for the sake of argument, we grant those experiences as love, being able to name the relevant chemicals fails to answer the question of how and why they start flowing. Why do they appear and disappear when they do? Why do certain people trigger this response, when others do not? These questions are more specific formulations of “What is the cause of love?” Recourse to biological mechanisms is no explanation.


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In practice, love begins in attraction. Attraction is interest sparked in another person. If “interest” is kept to the broadest possible definition, this can account for the first stage of every kind of love—from love of country and sports teams through the fiery beast that is romantic love. Attraction is the temporary annihilation of the self at the revelation of another.

When infatuation fades, and the elements necessary to sustain a relationship endure, love can remain and grow with time. What does that require? As above: Mutual respect, a willingness to help each other grow and improve, and an eagerness to grow into the ideal of the other person by accepting their encouragement and guidance.

This is not love, but it is the beginning of the process.

That’s love. That’s how it starts, how it fails, and how it eventually comes to fruition.

Friendships also begin in attraction: In that case, seeing someone act in specific ways that are attractive is the usual cause. There is a desire to spend more time with someone due to the pleasure of their company. Earlier we marked the first movement towards love as attraction, but attraction does not create love, it creates a desire to know another person more intimately. That’s not love, it’s fascination. Fascination will encourage pursuit and, if reciprocated, interaction. Here’s where things get funny where romantic entanglements are concerned: Your brain wants you to have sex. It wants you to have sex and make babies. It does not give a thing about you, but it wants you to have sex. This is where all those wobbly neurochemicals come in to make a mess of things, leading to infatuation. Infatuation is not love. Infatuation is your brain browbeating you into making babies, or, at the very least, settling down and building a life with someone. This is the sum total of the effect of the neurochemical influence on love. It will make you idealize the other person, making it difficult to see their faults. It will turn you on. It will make you think it’s a good idea to sacrifice the entire world, and your entire life, for another human being.

This is not love but the beginning of the process.


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Show me your love By Samantha Kyle Pabua

Often do we have this feeling that nothing else in the world matters. We find ourselves drifting and lingering in the moments that made us feel alive long after they have died. This moment, this emotion, this feeling, we tend to call it love. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world, the most powerful emotion - the closest thing to magic, and it can be expressed in an infinite number of ways. We love through action, through sacrifice, and through humbling ourselves. Love through action, like the cup of dark coffee my mother brew’s in the wee hours of the morning for my father before he leaves for work. Love through sacrifice - tender sacrifice, like the burning calves and heaving lungs of a soccer player running across the field, excitement fueling their pounding hearts. And love through humbling yourself, like the moment we bite our tongue from making a snarky remark and instead utter the words I’m sorry. We can love anyone, anywhere, anytime. We love because we can and it is beautiful and powerful. Our capacity to feel is limitless. Our capacity to love is limitless, it extends to the deepest well. We rely not only in our heartfelt words to show love rather we gear these thoughts and feelings to act upon this love.



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Love is By Sittie Amerah Pansar

Love by definition is an emotion explored in philosophy, religion, and literature, often as either romantic love, the fraternal love of others or the love of God. I always thought that love is a feeling you get when you meet the right person but love is more than a feeling. It’s a powerful word which all of us have experienced, whether we’ve been loved or have loved. Love is something that means very different things to different people. ​Love is beautiful. It ‘s inspiring. It can give hope. It can make you feel like the happiest person alive and sometimes, it can break you. Let’s be honest, love can be depressing but it’s also what keeps us going when we feel like giving up. Love is all we need. It is everywhere around us and it comes in all forms. ​Love is an action word. We can say “I love you” countless times but without actions, those three words will be meaningless. In order to show love, we must act in love. No matter how sweet your words are, if your actions show otherwise, then it’s not love. Some people go out of their way for someone they love. And I think it’s beautiful how someone can do extreme things and do unthinkable things for a person. It’s so easy to speak meaningful words but so hard to prove them. ​Love is a choice. It isn’t something you find, it’s a choice you make. People would say, “I fell in love” like they couldn’t help it but fall in love, however that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen. You choose to be in love.

No one will force you to love but do know that without it, your life will be meaningless. God doesn’t force you to love him because He knows love can’t be forced. To love someone will always be your choice to make. ​I feel it is almost impossible to define love. We have different beliefs of understanding of this four-letter word. Love can be so many things. It doesn’t have any conditions or boundaries. We don’t know exactly what love is and where it comes from, not even dictionaries can truly define love. But we do know that we are nothing without love. Everyone deserves to experience love or to be loved. Whether we are rich, poor, deprived, we need love. I believe that life is a journey to discover what love truly is and experience it for ourselves. George Sand once said, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved”


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Love and its types By Jenecille Mendez

A thing that concretizes something that has baffled many minds and wrenched many hearts: Love. It is a big word no matter how you look at it. If people would define it, it’s almost impossible to find the same definition given twice. The Triangular Theory of Love defines “love” as being composed of 3 qualities: passion, intimacy, and commitment. However, the various combinations of these aspects of love make eight distinct permutations that cover almost all relationships. Passion refers to states of emotional and physiological arousal. It is the excitement or energy of the relationship. Without intimacy and commitment, passion is a feeling of infatuation.. It is when they think that their significant other is as sexy as Edward Cullen or Bella Swan. Passion with intimacy can be called romantic love. It can be a blossoming relationship where the couple feels like best friends. With passion and commitment fantasy love created . It is a feeling of love where two people want to be in love but they have little in common. The feelings remain in the mind, not in the heart. The second component talks about intimacy. It is the set of feelings one experiences without the feeling of passion or commitment. The feeling of connectedness, bondedness, closeness, and trust in friendship that arises out of mere companionship. With the presence of commitment, companionate love occurs where in old relationships the ex-couple remain best friends, but no longer feel

anything romantic towards each other. When commitment is the only component present, it is empty love. One prime example of this is an unhappy marriage. Time has cooled the flame and it’s getting dimmer than it was before. It is like the passion and intimacy have died, despite the presence of commitment. No matter how strong the love is between the two lovers, it may deteriorate into an empty love. Empty love is almost the same with nonlove. Nonlove however, is merely the absence of all the components. Basically, it characterizes the majority of our relationships, which are simple casual interaction or just an acquaintances. If there’s a type of love where all the components are absent, there’s also a type of love which is complete, popularly known as the consummate love. It is the most admiring and the best among all types, the kind that all couples would want to achieve. It is said to be the perfect and ideal type of love. All three components are present in this type of love and people, who are in a relationship, have set this as some sort of a goal. Love is a choice and you didn’t choose to be inlove just to receive a mediocre type of love. Maintaining love is way harder than actually achieving it. Whatever componentof love is present in a relationship, whether it’s all present or absent, it would go into waste without actions. After all, action speaks louder than words. In this world where nothing’s ever built to last, without action, even the most beautiful and greatest love can die.





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