Escarvando Xicanismo: A Zine Anthology of Xican@ Writing, 2017-2020

Escarvando Xicanismo

A Zine Anthology of Xican@ Writing

2017-2020

- Kristian E. Vasquez -

Thiszineispublishedby Tierra y Libertad Zine Press.

Pleasecreditanyreferenceorre-production(digital,print, orotherwise)totheoriginalauthor.

-copyleft-

This zine anthology compiles old zines, abandoned projects, and unpublishedzineworksneverpublishednorcirculated.Thedesireto compilethisparticularcollectionofworksistoassembleatracingof whatIcall escarvando Xicanismo.ThistermcallsontothewaysIwasin searchofidentity,belonging,andpracticesofaculturethatresonated withmeasayoungMexican-Americanstudentrespondingtoaworld ofalienation.ThiszineisthusaportraitofanemergentXican@ consciousnessconfrontedwithbodilycontradiction,adistortedhistory, andadesiretofeeltheLaXicanadainwaysthatinventnewlinesof thinking.IexcludeblogwritingsIdidwithXicanaTiahui,asthoseare availablethere.

Thezines(andtheselectionofwritings)thatformthisanthologyare olderworksthatIcreatedbetween2017and2020.Theyincludetwo volumesofpoetryfromaseriescalled In Xochitl, In Cuicatl: xicano indígena poetry;avolumeofwritingfromaseriescalled Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation;andazinecalled Xicano Caracol: A Zine of Revolutionary Reflections.Iretaintherawnessoftheseworks.Aside fromtheseworksareunpublishedworksleftintheirfragmentedstate.I curatethiszineinfourparts:1.Poetry;2.Writings;3.Fragments;4. Conclusion.Itismyhopethatthebrokennessofthisanthologywill witnessrepairinfutureworks.

Escarvando Xicanismo includesacriticalessayinresponsetothisolder writing,makingsenseofthejourneyofbecomingawriterthrough zines.ItracemyemergingpoliticsofXicanismothatisfulloftension andreprise.Itofferswordsforthosewhofindthemselvesonthispathof XicanismoorwhoareinterestedinacontemporaryperspectiveonLa Xicanadatoday.Byattendingtomyyoungstudentself,Iamtracinga conocimiento thatemergesatatimewhenculturalnationalism,settlercolonialterror,andthecivilizationofdeathareproducingawarped imageofourradicalpotentiality.Inofferingthiszine,inadifferent form,Ihopetogiftaradicalhopetothoseengagedinculturalstruggle.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART • Poetic Consciousness, floricanto

NacíenYaanga:AXicanoinSettlerLosAngeles

LaMuerte:ParaMisAntepasadosdeAnahuac/México ElGritodelTradicionChicano

PART •• Writing with Fire, conciencia

RecuerdoyConocimientos

Introduction:Tierra,Libertad,yAutonomía ParamiRaza-Indígena

PART ••• Shattered Thought, lost soul

Introduction:TheSpiritofXicanism@andDecoloniality

EagleandtheCondor:RadicalWorldviewsforXican@

ElOtroAztlán:ScalesofXican@Place-basedStruggle

4.Introduction:TheseSacredLandsofTovaangnar

5.SpiritoftheEagleandtheCondor

PART •••• Last Words, xipe totek

PART • Poetic Consciousness, floricanto

PuraRaza theydanceincircles

Alwayshappyintheirmovements, Intheirsmiles,andform. Iobservethem, Lostinthemoment, Withakeeneyeforspectacles: Kickingmyfeet, Showingmyteeth, Throwingupanarmortwo, Towatchthemflow.

YetI’mnotlikeanantorabird

Butsomewhereinbetween. Likethefissureshidden

Withingroundandair, BecauseIlivetangledinboth: Therealandtheimaginary.

AndIaskmyself: Cantheyseeme?

Inmyanxiousstateofseparation?

Orareweallinourown Human,precariousfabric?

Indifferentstitchesandthreads?

Waitingsilentlyforeachof Ourownanxieties?

Justlikethetime

WhenshespokeSpanishtome.

Abrowngirl

Indigenous,Xicana; Myhomegirlwithskinthickerthanherhips; Tellingme:

Chale,Iknow;vivoenfronteras.

“EresChicano,peropochohomie.”

Perowhatshedoesn’tknowis: I’mfrustratedat MyownChicanoslang, Mysimpleformulaiccodes, Reluctantaboutusing Mycolonizer’stongue, Ignorantofmyindigenous Peopleandlanguage.

Mimentecreatingandbuilding

Ananxietybeyondtheopenedrifts

Enmialmaycorazón

thosenuanced,delicatecavities. Ofbeingcaughtinbetweentwoworlds

Andbeingsofamiliarofone

Butnotsomuchoftheother.

AndI’m

Runningafterher

Andhersoft,deadlyknowledge, Seekingmymeansofrevolution.

Butthereshegoes, Dancingandmoving ToBlancoyNegro, Anesthesia, LosChilesVerdes Skankingthenightaway.

Intotheabyss,thegreatmonster, Theplaceofmyowninsecurities, WhileIstarekeenly, Lostinmyownhead, Skankingtotherhythms

Withherandher

Perpetual,playfulmotions. Tension’sbuildingbetweenustwo:

“Luchandoporlavida.”shesays, WhileI’mfloatingonthebass-line, Mybodybeatenandresurrected

Intheskankpit:mivida Deundesmadre.

Andsheneverlooksback, Butweallsingthesamechorus: “Don’tworry,behappy!”

Myanxietytamedbymusic

AndthesebeautifulBrownpeople. Sowhenshedisappearsintothenight, Mergingconlaluna,Coyolxauhqui, IrememberthatI’mnotalone, Andthatshewatchesoverme YmiRazadeskankers.

DANZANDO PARA MI GENTE

Estaesmiceremonia

Mioracion

MiofrendaparaNanaTierra

Yomemuevocomoloscosmos

Comomisancestrosenelmundoespíritu

YconmispiesyobailoconTonantzin

Tocandolatierraquemediovida

Ymicorazónlatecomoelhuehuetl

Nuestroabuelodeladanza

Yyogritoalosnubesparaquemeescuchen

Yolesdigo“Ometeotl!”

Ladualidaddeluniverso

Yelcopalencentroreventóenflamas

Ce!

Ome!

Yei!

Nahui!

Macuilli!

TonantzinTlalli!

Nosotrospreguntamospermisoporladanza

Lassonajas

Loschachayotes

Latiendomásfuerte

Elcírculoestádanzandopornuestragente

Pornuestratierra

Pornuestraancestros

Ynuestradanzaennuestravida

Esnuestrapropósitosagrada

EsparatodoslosPueblosIndígenas!

RED POWER, RED FUTURE

Watchoutforthewasicu!

Theymurderourlands,ourwaters,ourspirit

Theyyellitfromthereztothebarrio

Thatourpeoplessufferundertheirbloodyhands

¡Yabasta!

We’vehadenough

Since1492

FromthenortherntipofAlaskatoelTierradelFuego

Acontinentconstantlyattacked

Ourgentecoveredbywhitehands

REDPOWER!

We’veseenourfamiliahereintheirownbattles

Lakota

Diné

Sioux

Chumash

Yoeme

Apache

Hopi

Andourfamiliamoresouth

Nahua

Wixarika

P’urhépecha

Zapoteca

Maya

Quechua

Mapuche

Wemustalluniteandfight

ForourREDFUTURE

MI ABUELITA'S POSOLE

MiAbuelita’sPozole

Irememberthesmell

Ofmygrandma’spozole.

Inthelivingroomyoucould

Smellthecrispytortillasonthecomal.

Thebigsignaturepot

Cookingthepozole

IsbiggerthanmiprimaCeleste.

Weareallhere

Mifamilia: Mihermano, Misprimas, Mimadrína, Mitía,ytíos, Yotrosparientes.

It’saspecialoccasion;

Onewherealllafamilia

Showsup.

Alltheworriesoftheworld

Didnotexistinmychild’s Mind.

MiabuelitaRosaiswearing Hercap. Shestirsandstirs

Herpozoletoperfection. Whenreadysheserves Thechildren, Likealways. Thenit’sthegrown-ups,thenher. Thatgiantbowlfilledwithpozole

Fillstheroomconunbuenolor. Elpozoleisfilledwithpork

Andhominy,soontobealso: Cebolla, Repollo, Oregano, Sal,y Límon. Becauseofmytíos, JoséAlfredoJimenez Isplayinginthebackground, Interferingwiththeclatterofspoons. Thevoiceofmiabuela Speaksnopain.

Buthereyesshow

Thefatigueofchemotherapy. Whilemytíossingto

“ElCaminodeGuanajuato,” Modelobottlesintheirhands, Uskidsplayinthebackyard

Nexttotheaguacatetree. Mygrandma’sChihuahuas,

MuñecayCacahuate, Arerunningaroundlosnopales.

Iclimbtheaguacatetree

Andrestmyselfonabranch. Everyoneishappy; Ididnotknowpain

Inmyheart. Miabuelitamurióenlanoche. Inevercriedsomuch.

ThestrongestwomanI’veever Known, Wastakenaway.

Coloncancercameandleft. Andjustlikethat Elmundocayó.

Mifamiliaisn’tthesame. Butwerememberher, Whenmytías

Makeherpozole.

IXQUICHA MOZTLA

XicanaTiahui!

Ungritomasfuerte

PadreSol,helooksdownonus

PenetratingMadreTierrawithlove

Givinglifetowhatcyclesinrevolution

Ourdualitiesenestavida

Growing

Convulsing

Breaking Spitting

Singing

Flowering

Ylalluvialloracomonosotros

Healingthesoulwound

InflictedontoMadreTierra

Sherumblesandshines

OnwardXican@revolutionaries!

Wewon’tembraceliberationuntiltomorrow

Andtoday

Todaywebreathandletthewinds

Carryusforward!

Harmony,nimitlailnamiqui

Allmyrelations,myrelatives,nimitznequi

Ourancestorshearourprayers

Theyfeelourtouch

Honorthem

Lovethem

Fortheyguideourspirit

Fortheyshowusourfuture

Tlazokamatifortomorrow

NACIÓ EN YAANGA: A Xicano in Settler Los Angeles

Lahistoriadeestatierra, Itsingsofpain,suffering,andtrauma.

Igrewuponit,oblivious

Notknowingwhatitmeant, Toseeitsmemory

Struggleforexistence.

“ThisisYAANGA,”aXicanotellsme, TheancestrallandsdelPuebloTongva.

Hesayswehaveforgottenitsmemory, Thatwe’veforgottenitspeople.

Colonialityandmodernityhaveerasedthem. Allofusherewhoinhabit

ThesettlercolonialfabricationofYaanga

Falselynamed

“ElPueblodeNuestraSeñoralaReina delosÁngelesdePorciúncula”

Byspanishcolonizersandtheirfollowers, Wemustn’tforgettoseeitsrootsandmemory Becauseitcallsfordignityandrecovery.

Withthoseceremonialdays, Cuandoestoydanzando, IlooktotheCosmos

Toblesstheselands, AndIpraytoMotherEarth

Toprotecttheseoriginalguardians Andtheirfuturegenerations. WhenIwalkthroughthestreetsofLA, Ihopethatoneday

Thiscommunity

WillseetheNativepeopleoftheselands, Andtogetherwithourfamilias Wecan Liberate, Decolonize, Indigenize, AndrespectMotherEarth.

NacióenYaanga, Iseeandfeeltheancestors

DelPuebloTongva

AndthePueblotodaylivesandfights Erasure, Marginalization, Recognition, Memory.

Yaraarkomokre’e.

LA MUERTE: Para Mis Antepasados de Anahuac/México

IAMTHEPRODUCTOFCOLONIALISM.Assuch,myvoice speaksfrompassion,delamuerte:theliving.

Iwalkoncolonizedlands ofprecious,beautifullandsdisrupted bytheproductofthewhiteman’scapitalistmodeofproduction.I breathetheairfrommachinesthatspitsmoke,pollutingtheonly tierrawecallhome.Mylungsaremadefrommodernity,from progress.

Idon’tknowthelanguageofmyancestors,andIstruggletouse andtalkmycolonizerslengua soreluctanttospeakwhat dominated,tospeakwhatorderedgenocide,tospeakwhaterased whatwouldbemyculture.

IseeAztlánasametaphorforredemption,ofretribution,of wantingaspiritualhome.Somewhereinwhatisconsidered México,myhistory,myfamily,myRaza,theywerekilled, tortured,callouslyconqueredandtoldtheywerenothuman:they neededtobeputstraight.Thisishistoricalfactanditispainful.

IwalkthestreetsofSouthGate,myhometown,aonce dominantlywhitecommunity.Ifeelthepresenceofamemory,of apeoplenotfrommyownblood,butpeoplewhoatefromthese lands,whoworshipedtheselands,andnowweoccupy notby choice,butbylegaciesofcolonialisms.

IwascriticizedonceforclaiminghechoenMéxico,asifwhatis nowCaliforniadidn’toncebelongtoMéxico ofcoursethis beingafterthefirstwaveofcolonizationoftheSpanish conquistadores.

LaMuerte:theysurviveinmyblood,maskedbythecolorofmy whiteskin:aconstantreminderthatI’minacolonizedbody,ina rapedbody,inatortured,ambivalentbody.Mybrownness,my indigeneity,livesonlythroughmyveins,mialma.

Ioncescreamedincommunitycollege:YosoyXicano!The fuckingpoliticalremains!Resistancelivesinmyblood! Revolutionrunsthroughmytongue!Andthosedaysweremet withasilencefrommyownfamily,myfriends.

Paralamuerte:Iseeyou,feelyou,wanttolearnmorefromyou.

Andjustlikethispiece,theyliveinfragmentsinsideme,in history,inmemory.ButIwillliveforthem:torememberandto resist—tofightinmylifefortheirmemory,forthosestillhere, andthoselostforeverinthecosmos.

EL GRITO DEL TRADICIÓN CHICANO

iheardelgritodeAztlan adistantmemoryof1969 acalltobuildanation ofapeoplecalledChicanos ialsoheardcriesofAbyaYala acontinentinitsfullmaturity anameforthishemisphere fromtheKunaNation

ithenheardtheprayersofrunners journeystounifytheeagleandthecondor fromaprincipleofpeaceanddignity thiswasaQuechuaprophecy

Indígenasrantocompleteit butialsoheardcomplicity ofmouthsbreathingthelawsofrulers

“denythesepeopletheirancestors theyhavefalseclaimstotheirdestiny” containederasedassimilated ithenheardaXicanaelder whospoketomeinspirit heal

findyoursacredpurpose yourancestorswillguideyou youmustre-rootyourself forthefutureofthenext sevengenerations iwasdancingwhen isawthecopalsmokebeforeme speakelgritodeltradicionChicano

AsIcometowardmyspiritualawakening, IseektounderstandtheFourDirections, ThesacredNahuiOllin.

IopenmymindtoOmeteotl: TherepresentationofdualitiesonMotherEarth, Ofthesacredcosmos, ThecreatingenergiesoftheUniverse.

IlearntopraytoTonantzin, TodigmyhandsundertheRedsoil AndcultivatetheselandswithMaíz

Inpreparationofanothersevengenerations. Centeotzintli:thehistoryofourpeople Toldinstoriesthatwewerecreated 7,000yearsago. Thisisourstory: Nonkuahuitlcentliintlalnepantla.

WhenIopenmyspirittoAztlan, Inixtli,inyollotl, Withallmyrelations, Ifindmyrootsfromarootlessexistence. InLak’echbecomesmyconnectiontoallmy GentedeMaíz, GroundingmylostsoultotheselandsofAbyaYala.

SoIcontinuetogrow

Undertheguidanceof Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl, Huitzilopochtli, XipeTotec; LeadbythedirectionofPancheBe, Iseekthetruthinmyroots.

AsaXicanoitismyresponsibility

Touncoverformyfamilia DelaRaza, Aztlanprofundo. Itisthatdeep Memory Searchingforreconnection. Asweallcometothis Conocimiento Ofourlives, Wewillonedaychantwithourcuicatl: XicanaTiahui!

LA PRIMERA MAESTRA

Estaesparamimama, Aellaquemediovida, Quemediocomida, Quemediomuchascosasparalavida. Butalsogivingtheunresolvedthings, Thehurtfulmemories, ThosethatInevergotasorryfor AndthatwhichIneversaidsorryfor. Icarrythispainfulweight EverywhereIgo. Nolongerlivingorconnecting, Butfloatinganddriftingaway; SlowlyIbecameawrongexample Tomyonemother.

Shewasmyfirstteacher, Notunlikeallmytíasyabuelas. Unamaestraquemedioojos.

Quemedioconsejos

Myfirstteacher

Inaworldburgeoningontoourfamily

AZTLAN, a vision of home

Brownbodiesbleed. TheyaretornfromtheirMother, Unrootedbyviolence,bydispossession.

Asmellthatstingsconsumesthewinds AsthedetribalizedBrownPueblosareforcedto Move.Theyarepushedacrossadisparagingborder. Theyarelosperdidos,lostwithoutadirection. Sothepoetsandtherevolutionariesread, Theyuncoverrichhistoriesofarichheritage.

TheyreclaimtheirBrownbodiesthatbelongedtotheEarth, Theydigtheirhandsunderthesoil Andbringtolifeadestiny.

Creatorknowsthisisjustthebeginning, ThattheseBrownbodiesfoundanentrance Thatwouldleadthemtotheirancestral Home.

AZTLAN.Thisiswhattheycalledit.

AvisionofahometoldbyMexicatenochcaelders, Foundindustyoldbooks, FoundintheheartoftheIndigenousstruggle CalledtheChicanoMovement.

Sowhataboutourgeneration?

Adiversegeneration

Ofalostpeopleand Ofarootedpeople.

WhatisthisvisionofAZTLAN:

Toagenerationthinkingitsresurgence?

Toagenerationthatseekstodismantleit?

Whatofitssacredstory?

APuebloIndianoncetoldme

Hispeoplewereawaitingthereturnofthe

SevenPueblosoftheAzteka.

Andwhentheydidreturn

Therewasaclimateofdisassociation

FromourrelativesoftheCenter

FromthoseoftheNorth. TodayemergesquestionsofAZTLAN’ssignificance, OfitsimportancetolosPueblosperdidos. AndmoreandmoreBrownbodies

MigratealNorte:

TherecognizedPueblosIndígenas MixtecaZapotecaP’urhépechaWixarikaMaya Andtherecognized,colonized“mestizos,”

ThedetribalizedofMéxicoprofundo. Andheretheconflictarises.

WheredoXican@’sfit?

WheredoesAZTLANfit, Ifnotstillacallingforhome?

WhereevenI,adescendantoftheP’urhépecha, CanstandinsolidaritywithmyAztekarelatives.

WhereevenI,aXicanoIndígena, Canself-determinemyownIndigenousresurgence

Inaworldthatwishestoerasemybloodlines.

DecolonizeandIndigenizethehistoryofBrownpeople, Whosoughtsurvivalinasettlerstate ThatdispossessedtheirBrownbodies.

AZTLANisavisionofhome, AsacredstorykeptalivebyourMexicarelatives, Inspiringthepoliticalandrevolutionary ChicanoMovement

Andwestandheretoday, Totellthisstoryagain.

Xican@RevolutionaryResurgence

Whenourancestorsemergedfrom

ThesacredMaízfields

Anatecocollisoundedfromthecosmos.

UponwalkingonMotherEarth

Thefourdirectionsgaveadestiny Ofourpeoples, ToguardandcareofourSacredMother. Thebeacheswerestillandthe Oceancarriedapowerfulsmellofsalt. Inthedistance, Boatscarriedtheconsequences Ofthefuture, Ofourpresent.

TheTripleAllianceoftheMexica SenttheirTlacuiloque TopaintintheRedandBlack Traditionthearrivalofthewhitedevils.

TheMayaknewittoo, Whentheyreceivedaspaniard Wholaterbetrayedthem.

Ourrelativesknew Thattheirfuturewouldtransform Andoursurvivalwould Bedestinedtounknownprophecies. OurlifehereonAbyaYala, Wouldchangeforever.

525yearsofsettleroccupation Hastaughtgenerationaftergeneration Adifferentanddominanthistory.

WhenancestralandIndigenous Consciousnessarose

IntheheartsoftheChicanopeople, TheyawakenedtheirTradicionIndígena. Yet,themodernandcolonialworld Spokedowntothemoftheirimaginaries.

Withthestrengthoftheirancestorstheyrose Tothechallengeofthedominantstate.

ThisIndigenousrevoltwasone

Pioneeredbyhealers,danzantes,andrevolutionaries

Seekingtheliberationofourrelatives OfAbyaYala.

Eventodaywehearourancestors’whispers

Thesoftandforceful ClarityofourMovimiento. Fromwhereverwecome,wemustlisten.

FromtheruinsofTzintzuntzan

Ihearmyancestorsguideme, Theyfollowandsupportme.

Everywhereourfootsareplaced Ourancestorsfollow. MypeoplesofMichoacán, LosPueblosP’urhépecha, Thepeoplesmyfamilyhasbeendisconnectedto, Theyhaveabeautifulphrasewecanallthinkabout:

JuchariUinapikua. NuestraFuerza.

ForthefuturesofXican@resurgence

Tothriveandsurvive

Wemustunveilthemaskofcoloniality, Dismantlethediscontentsofmodernity.

Wemustlistentoourancestors

Andourrelativeswhoarestruggling

Toendoppression.

UnCantoPorelPuebloXicana

Myfatheralwaysexclaimedthatourgrandmother

ToldhimweweredescendentsoftheAzteka.

Whatdidn’tconnectwas

Whenwelearnedthatherchildrenspoke P’urhé,

LalenguajedelosPueblosP’urhépecha. Now,maybeshewasright.

Wedon’tknowallourrootsandthishistoryisablur. Neverthelessthisisacommonstory

AmongmanycommunitiesinMéxico.

WhiteelitestoldtheIndigenismobentofa GloriousAztekapast. It’snowonderwhysomanyRaza

IntheUSthinktheyareAzteka. But,someofusare, Someofusaren’t.

ElPuebloXicana

IsavarietyofIndigenouspeoples

Fromwherevertheycome.

AMaya-Tseltalelderonce

ToldmethatwewereallpartofaPuebloOriginario, Andshehadsadnessthatmanyofusdidn’trecognizethis.

YestecantoesporelPuebloXicana: ItcamefromXicanogroupAztlanUnderground; Holditdeartowhereyougo.

Understandthatyouarenotalone. Weareallconnected,andwemustembraceourroots. “Indigenousandyoudon’tevenknow.”

UNION OF FREE PUEBLOS

IwasaChicanoinmyfirstquarterinthe University, Andbytheendoftheyear

IawokeasaXicanoIndígena.

Ioweittothepoets

TheBrownRevolutionaries AndtheIndigenousceremonies.

IoweittotheRedSpiritofthisContinent, Myself-determinationemulating thespiritofmyChican@ancestors.

IrememberthedayIread ElPlanEspiritualdeAztlan. Andtheotherlaterversion, TheRedSpiritofAztlan. Thesewerekeyfoundational Textstowardconsciousness.

Ourpeopleswhomigratedhere, Whocontinuetocrossdeadlyborders, Wehaveforgottenourconnection Toeachother, Rootsthatintertwined Andmeddled.

WeforgetthatCreator Seeksthatwefighttogether TohealourMother.

Havewelostsightofourpurpose? OurAfrikanbrothersaiditin1989, CommentingontheUniversity AndtheroleofStudents. “Knowledgehasbutonepurpose, toalleviatethesufferingofHumanity.”

MaybeKwameTureonlyechoesin Ourbannedhistorybooks.

MaybethecriesforRevolutionandLiberation Havebeencompletelysilenced. Thispostmodernworldwouldhaveyoubelieve Thatthisisfact:

WearenolongertiedtoourMother. Therehasalwaysseemedtobe Confusion, Misinterpretation, Badjudgment, Ignorance, Fromourpeople. Yet,therootoftheseareinour Illusionsofafuturepromisedbythesettlerstate.

ButthisiswhyourGenterevolted, Inthatyearof1969, WhocalleduponourUnionofFreePueblos

Torecognizeourconditions, Toridthefilthyair Ofcapitalism, TotakePOWER.

Todayweseethelegacies.

Todaywefeelthesmallimprovements.

ButithurtsmewhenourRaza

AttheUniversity

Takeforgrantedtheirseats.

Asifthoseseatsweren’tmeantforthepeople, Asiftheyweren’tmeanttoalleviatethesufferings OfHumanity.

Iwalkthesehalls

BuiltbyourRaza, Thesehallswhereourtwoofour BlackBrothers Wereslain.

Theinstitutionalmemory Fadesaway.

Havewesoldourspirittowhiteness?

Havewebecomecomplicittoouroppression?

Haveweignoredthewhitesupremacy Ofthisworld?

IhaveBrownBrothers InSTEM

Whoaskmewhatmy

Chican@Studiesdegree Willgetmeinlife. Ican’tstoptothinkabout

HowmanyofourBrownrelatives

Don'tgetjobsaftertheUniversity.

I’mworkingwithstudentsattheUniversity

Whoneverheardoftheword

“Chicano” Andwhoneverquestioned Theworldaroundthem.

TheirChican@Studiesclasses Transformthem, Andopentheireyestoanewbutoldworld.

Theyobtainavocabularytonamethe Waystheyhavebeenfeeling Here

Inthistraditionallywhiteinstitution. Butthisitisn’tenough.

WhatwillittakeforourGente

Toseebeyondthepoliticsof Talkingshit?

Whatwillittakeforourgeneration

TothinkforthemselvesandtheirRaza?

Wefeedourselveswiththeideas Of Disconnection Of Disassociation Of OppressionOlympics. OurUnionofFreePueblos Havepositionedthemselves Asincludedandexcluded,

OfbeingonthesideofIndigenouspeople, Butdenyingourownrelativesandancestors, Thosewhohavegottenushere.

Yes,wearedifferent. AllIndigenouspeoplesaredifferent. Butwhatdoesitmeantoreclaimwhatwas Deniedtoourfamilies?

Whatdoesitmeantotransgress

Thesettlerstate?

Creatorknowsourrelationsarecloser

Thanwhatwewouldliketomovefarawayfrom.

Whymustwepunishourselves?

Whymustweallowcolonialitytodictate Ourlives?

InthespiritofourXicanaelders, Wemustlisten.

InthespiritofourMother, Wemustrebuild OurUnionofFreePueblos.

¡TIERRA Y LIBERTAD!

ConnuestrosPueblosenRebelde, Wewillstruggleforafuturefreefromcolonization!

thesoundsofchachayotesarebeatingtheground asharpyellinvokesthespirits feetarebouncingoffthedirtandthecircleofbodies aremoving likeasnake

Acompañerasignalsthatthejurahasarrived, Wegatherourbelongingsandbustout.

Whymustwealwaysliveontherun?

Whymustrevolutionalwaysfearthepowersthatbe?

Thehydrahaseverythingtolose, Andwe,elPuebloRebelde, Wehavenothingtolosebutourchains.

apirekuasounds

losviejitossondanzando misparientesdelotrolado

tengotriste

nopuedovivirsinmitierra

tierraqueyonoconozca

“Quenecesitascompa?”Iheardinawhisper. Isay,“Libertad.”

tierraylibertad

Ihearthecriesofjuchariuinapikua. Ihearthecriesforrevolution.

IheartheZapatistas’criesporotromundo,sinmalgobierno. “Quesignificaserrevolucionario?”Theyyell.

“Contratodaalaautoridad.”

estoesmigrito

WhatdoesourPueblohavetolose? Ourspiritcarriesthevoicesofourancestors. Wehaveneverbeendefeated.

Wearestillwaiting. Andtomorrow,weshallrise.

theserpentwrapsaroundelcuerpodelatierra

notengounnombre

soydelospueblosperdidos

mellamanmuchosnombres

perosoydelatierra

yvoyadefenderamiPueblo

Whoselanddowestandon?

Forourspiritualrevolution,itwillbetheoriginalPueblos.

ourdestinytookadifferentpath bringingnuestroPuebloperdidoalotrolado yconnuestropensamientoradical podemosdesmantelarelcolonialidaddepoder andaswemoveandshiftaroundlanguage wecanalsobridgeourPueblosRebelde

ALatinopoliticianpromisesourPueblosocialchange. Whenweorganizedourinsurrection, Countingourarmsandbodies, WelistenedtotheLatinxsandshrugged, “Nocreanqueestatierraenlosestadosunidos pertenecealosPueblosIndígenasaquí?”

Wesoughtafreefuture, Butonethatdidn’tupholdstatism.

tenemossustoprofundo tenemossangreIndígena tenemoslafuerzadenuestrosancestros

IrememberthosedaysorganizingwithLatinxs InXican@organizationsnonetheless… TheywereuncomfortablewithourPuebloRebelde, TheywerescaredofXican@Power. Latinxsdirectedtheirenergiesincomfortableplaces. IndigenousSovereigntyerased.

Mexicatiahui

roarsinourceremony

Ometeotl

Tonantzin

wehearthefuerzadelaspalabras

copallifillsourspirit

theatecocollicallsusbacktoourancestors

OurPuebloseeksforareturn. Areturnnottoadistantpast, Butareturntoourwaysofknowingandbeing. Ourretribalizationcomeswithpain, Itcomeswithexclusion,disapproval,andacademicregulation: Ourrealitiesshapedbyaworldonfire.

Andourwords,ouractions,theyaretwisted. Ourancestors, TheyknowourPuebloRebeldeasaPuebloperdido.

Andwewillneverstop. Andwewillneversurrender.

Wenolongermourn. Wearefightingandreconnecting.

escuchen nuestroPuebloestágritando

¡VIVAZAPATA!

¡VIVACOMANDANTARAMONA!

¡VIVAMAGÓN!

¡VIVAGONZALEZPARSONS!

¡QuevivaelPuebloRebelde!

OurNativesisteryelledthesewords

Inthefaceofthewhitedevils. Wethenrantofindsanctuary.

OurTatataughtushowtofight.

Butweareoutnumbered; Ourpeoples,theyaredisempowered.

Theyaretaughttoobey. Ourliberationcontrolledthroughvoting.

Ourliberationistaughtasassimilation.

migrantesIndígenasestáncruzandolafrontera dondelamuertevive dondenuestragentemueren esemundodedesesperación ynuestratristezanopuedeayudarnos somoslagentequebailaconlamuerte somossintierra sinlibertad dondesefuenuestrodignidad? yosé

sefuecuandodijimosquenosomoshumanos quenosomosdelatierra

ycuandonuestroPuebloRebeldemanifestó nuestroPueblobailóconlavida con¡tierraylibertad!

Descolonizate. BuildourPuebloRebelde. Organize.

SharepalabrawithourIndigenousrelatives. WehaveaworldtoIndigenize.

INDIGENISTA

IcutmyhairwhenIenteredtheuniversity, baldtoazero.

IwasaPunkerofromSoutheastLA, aself-identifiedMexicano, andasearchingChicano.

I’dliketobelievethatcuttingmyhairwasa pointofregeneration ofgrowingoutofonepointofmylifeenteringnewcolonial landscapesandgrowthcycles.

Iwasatransferstudentfromacommunitycollegefilledwith BlackandBrowngente.

Theuniversitywasawhitespace,aprivilegedplace, atraditionallysettlerinstitutionofknowledgeproduction.

Ourbodiesweren’tdesignedforthesehalls, Ourknowledgeswasn'tmeantforthesebooks. IfIamgoingtobehonestwithmyself, Ialwaysdoubtedmyabilitytothrivehere. AndasmyhairgrewIgrewwithit.

Somethingtheydon’ttellyouishowyouwon’tfitin, That,unlessyouassimilatetothedominantuniversityculture, youwillneverbeoneofthem.

AsayoungAnarchistandMarxist, Thosethingsnevermatteredtome. IwasaPunkero

Whowouldneverfitinperfect.

Butnoneofthatmatteredwhenyouembracedyourculturaand foundfamilia.

ItishereIwillnowshareatestimonio,

Onefilledwithpainandgrowth: IjoinedMEChAmyfirstyearinuniversity. IreadabouttheChicanoMovementincommunitycollege, AndIwasslowlycomingtoaChicanoconsciousness. ItwashereIfirstlearnedaboutChicanismoandthosedifficultbut neededconversationsofwhereMEChAwasatthispointof history.

Yet,studentenergieswereverystrangemyfirstyear. NonethelessIkeptmovingon.

IfoundanimperativetoknowexactlywhoIwasduringthis time.

Itwasapainfulprocessofknowingmyhistory, OfwhereIcamefromandwhoIcamefrom.

IamIndigenous:

Mypeoplesemergedfromtheselands, Andovertime,itseemedasifwewererippedfromourSacred Motherandplacedinastatesanctionedlimbo.

IntheUS,itdidn’tgeteasier. Ourpeoplesmigratedandbecamedisplaced.

MyIndigenousconsciousnessentaileddecolonizationasan imperativetoendthesufferingsofourrelatives. Myhairwavedandwaspulledback.

AfewofusXican@sattemptedtobringMEChAintothis consciousnessbyfacilitatingcollectives.

Wespokepain, Memory, Remembering, Creating, Learning, Andwesharedadestiny. Butnoteveryonewasready.

Whattheydon’tteachyouabouttheuniversityisthatsometimes youwillfeelveryalone.

Ourfamiliabroke, Andsomeofuswereputatthemargins.

Toxicityisapowerfultool, Onethatpoisonstheheartsoffreedomfighters.

MEChAremainsinmyheart, ButIleftitinitsmisguideddirection.

TheXican@swholeftwithmealsolosttheirhope, Butwestartedtobuildtogether.

WelookedtothespiritandprayeroftheEagleandtheCondor andsoughtliberationthroughIndigenousstruggle.

ItisheremyhairwavesatlengthsIcanbraid. Itishere,thatmydestinyhasbeensought. Mypathteachesmeimportantlessons,

AndtheyareteachingsIcarrywithme.

IshareheremypainandmypastbutIalsoshowthefuture: OurfutureisIndigenous; Itisfree, Itisspiritual, Itisceremony.

Ourresistanceisinourhair, Itisinourwalk, Itisinwhatwespeak, Inwhatwebuild.

ThepathofanIndigenistaisinourpalabra andinourcommunities.

Noxtinnomecayotzin!

MEDICINA

Cuidame,nanatierra. Protegeme,tatasol. Estoslibrosqueestoyleyendo, Nopuedendarmeliberación.

Manyofusthinktheuniversitywillfreeus

Whenwenolongerlookforthosemeans Inourcommunities.

OurEldersarenevernotsought, Theyareforgotten, Ifnotthrownaway LikeoldtextsChicanosreadinthe60s.

Ajarochoplaysandwearedancing.

Theheartofthetarimagivesourpeoplelife, Ylagentecontinúazapateando.

Studentstransformthemovement Withthestrongrigorofhistoricalamnesia.

WhydowedismissourElders?

Whowillguideus?

¿Quiéntienerazón?

Ellamediomedicina.

Estamedicinaesparasusto

Queyotengo.

These eight poems are taken from In Xochitl, In Cuicatl: xicano indígena poetry: volume 2: las américas profundas.

REGENERACIÓN, una poema sin duda

Theysaythatallourheroesdied, ThatCOINTELPROkilledourheroes, Thatthroughgovernmentalinfiltrationintoour Radicalspacesofresistance, TheyforcedourEldersintosubmission, Ontheirkneesandreadytodie.

Idon’tknowwhatissweeter: Deathorrevolution, Lifeoraprison, Spectaclesorconsumption, Performanceorhardreality. Eitherone,eitherway, Thepowersthatbearewatching.

Theytakenoteofourvoices, Ofourmovements, Ofourvision.

Who'stosayIain’tthefuckingpig? Stinkingupyourpolitics, Makingyouplantthebomb?

It'shardtotrustperformativerevolutionaries, Thosewhoknowthelanguage, Thespaces, Thewriters, Thepeople. Butdon’tletthisstopyou.

Followyourheart,yourspirit,yourancestors. Thisworldisreadyforatransformation. Butitisn’tintheoldwaysofdoingthings, Anditwon’tbearomanticizationofourpast. Ourfutureisourchildren, Ourseedswhowillre-generatethisworld.

Anddon’tforaminutedoubt, Thatourstrugglewon’tmakeachange. Thecosmosaretalkingandwemustlisten.

This poem is taken from Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation: Volume 1: Regeneración

PART •• Writing with Fire, conciencia

TlazocamatitotheCreator,toTonatiuhandTonantzin,theFour DirectionsandElements,tomyrelations,andtheancestorsoftheland thiszinerestsupon

Kuallitonalli.BeforeImoveforward,estiloZapatista,likeacaracol, withmyrevolutionaryreflections(acreativeendeavor),theancestors firstmusthearmyconocimiento.Thisisalsoaprotocolforyoutoknow mypositionality,whoIam—somethingIlearnedasascholarand researcherfromChicanoIndigenousscholarRicardoMedina.

Thisconocimientoismypersonalmeditation.Readwithmedicinadela tierra:maywebothfindoursacredenergies.

NinotokaKristianEmilianoVasquez.IwasborntoYeseniaGuerrero andEmilianoVasquezontheancestrallandsdelPuebloTongva Yaanga.Thecomplexhistoryofmybloodlinesoriginatefromthelands knowntodayasMéxico,andIwillacknowledgetheoriginalpeoplesof those lands. On my Fathers side Guanajuato (Guachichil, Otomí, Guamare,andPurépecha)andMichoacán(PurépechaandNahua);my MotherssideDurango(O’odamandRaramuri)andZacatecas(Caxcan, Guachichil,andZacateca).IamaXicanofromLA;astudent,scholar, andorganizeratUCLA;aNativeoccupyingTongvalandsearchingfor their ancestral roots, on a path of re-Indigenization; learning the teachings of Mexikayotl from the Danza círculo Temachtia Quetzalcoatl.IamalsoaPunk,withearlyinfluencesinanarchismand marxism,nowtowardIndigenismanddecolonization.

Theintentionsofthiszine—frommypositionality—wastosharemy intimatereflectionstoRazacommunitieseverywhere.Tocontinuethe practiceofconocimiento,thisisalsoareflectionofmyownlearningand consciousnessofmytimeinSanCristóbaldelasCasas,Chiapas,México. Tiahui!Ometeotl.

KukulkanemergesfromMotherEarth.ItsCh’ulel(spirit),connected withthelandsitwasborn,reverberatesamonglosPueblosMaya.The strengthanddignityKukulkanrepresents,itdemonstratesthevibrant knowledgeofland,life,andthecosmos.Itisareflectionofapeople,of raícesdeMaíz.

TheTsotsil,Tseltal,andTojolabalPueblosofChiapaswereapresent communityofNativepeoples.Fromthezócalototheoutskirtsofthe cityIoccupied,Mayamenandwomenroamed,butthetragedywasin theirsubjugation.hetouristpopulation,mostlygentedeeuropea,wasa dangeroussighttoseeandIcouldnevergettheideaofgentrification outofmymind(verymuchlikewhatBoyleHeightsisencounteringin LA).Itwasdisheartening;itwasugly;andIcontributedtoitasan “outsider.”

ElCh’ulel,aconceptIfirstencounteredfromAntunKojtom(Tseltal), an artist of Chiapas who finds their spiritual connection through creating.Itisasacredspirit,onethatIsaweverywhereIwent beitthe MayaruinsofTenamPuente,Chinkultik,Toniná,orPalenque;orbeit thepeopleImet,whoallhadbeautifulenergies.Ch’ulelwaseverything —andIknowthatbeneaththespanishchurchesofwesterncolonialism, Méxicoprofundoexisted.HunabKu!Icallupontheuniverseofall creationwithmyprayerstoemergeonceagainlosPueblosIxim!

Iwokeupfromawarindream:theancestorsoftheselandsgivingme animage,amemoryofviolence,destruction weallheardthesoundsof fireworksbeingblownat6inthemorning,butIfeltsomuchmore. Andwhenthedaybeganitstartedwithmyfirsttimetryingtamales Chiapaneco con champurado de chocolate. Besides the vivid and constantdreamsI’vehadhere,elcomidawassomethingofanadventure. Onethingstuckout:CacaoandMaízwerecentralfoods,adietwhich hasremainedconsistentwiththeareaandissymbolizedbytheMaya Cross,oftheÁrbolCeiba.

LA MENTE DE FUEGO

Isitemptyonmybed,waitingforthemoontodescend. Iaminaplacethathearsmyprayers,mypoems,mydreams. ButIdon’tknowwheretheygo,wheremyspiritgoes. AsImeetpoetsandheartheirstories, Ican’thelpbutwonderifmyspiritconnectstotheirs andifwesharemomentsofclarity. Icalltomyspiritandmyancestors! Inlak’echalak’en.

EZLN–EjercitoZapatistadeLiberacionNacional

ThisrevolutionarymovementofPueblosMayahavegivenmeinsight into what Ixim means in relation to organizing. As a student in academia,andinanorganizingspace,ithasbecomemyimperativeto reflectonthecriticalnatureoforganizingonandoffcampus. Hereare somerevolutionaryreflections:

Whatisautonomy,self-determination,andsovereigntymeantoa Nativecommunity?

Howdowedefinemilitancy?

How might movements perpetuate methods/tools created by oppressors?

Whatispower,andwhatisitsrole?Howdowetransformitto servethecommunity?

Whatiseducationanditspurpose?

WhenweareconsciousoftheEagleandtheCondor, ofsacredIxim, ofthePuebloswhodefendMotherEarth, whenwillthesufferingend?

CHICANA/O STUDIES

FromtheinceptionofChicana/oStudiesanditsroleintheUS,toatime oftransformationandrevolution,thestaticandstagnantformsthis (inter)disciplinaryfieldofstudyhasnotpusheditsboundariesasa collectiveforce.ThemarginalscholarswhofocusonIndigenouspeople, Indigeneity, decolonization, re-Indigenization, and community movementsarepushedintosubjugation.Thisisnosurprise;thestateof consciousnesstothesetopicshavebeensubsumedbyLatinidad.

IwalkthestreetsofSanCristobaldelasCasas:IseenoLatinidad.“You arecalledLatinosinthestateswhenyoumigratethere.”“Mande?No soyLatino!SoyIndígena!”Latinoizationofthiscontinentisatool maskedbythecolonialstructuresofadvancedmestizaje.Weareslowly losingwhoweare,andthelastfrontagainstthisstrugglehavebeenthe PueblosIndígenas.

Chicana/oStudiesneedstolearnfromtheirmistakes,takescholarship andcommunitybuildingawayfromtheivorytowersofjargonized understandingsofourrealities.CriticalLatinxIndigeneitiesdeniesa continenttheirrightforself-determination.Wehavelostsight;we continuetoneglectwhatpowermeans,whatreal,actuallyexisting hegemonylookslike.

Canweliberateourselvesthroughacademiawhentheirresearchprojects havestoppedgivingfocusanddedicationtothealleviationofsuffering?

Xican@IndigenousStudiesNow!

¡ElCh’uleldelosPueblosIndigenas!

¡QuevivacomolosCaracolesZapatista! ¿Ynosotros?

¿NosotrosnotenemosCh’ulel?

¿QuesignificaserIndígena?

MadreTierra,escúchame SomosdelosPueblosdelosperdidos Ynadiequierereconocernos

Somosnadie,porquenosomosdelatierra Ancestros,escúchenme ¿Quiénsomos?

Nadienosreconoce

Ellosdicenquenosotrossomosmestizos,kaxlanes ¿Pero,esaeslaverdad?

¿Dóndesefuemiespíritu?

SinosoyIndígena, ¿Cómopuedollamarderegreso Miespíritu?

PadreSol,escúchame EscuchelossonidosdelHuehuetl, Demisonajaypies:

SoyXicanoIndígena

Yconestaoración,estaceremonia Yoséqueustedesnosreconocen

“YOUALLAREINDIGENOUS!”

ShannonRivers(O’othamfromArizona),

toRazaestudiantesat

MEChAdeUCLA’s2017RazaYouthConference

Revolutionaryreflections.ThisiswhatIcalledmywritinginthis zine.Revolutionaryonlybecausetheytransgresstheburgeoning weightofcoloniality:mymindwasattackedbysignsofmodernity, myemotionsbythelivedrealitiesofMayagente,mybodyshackled atnightfromnightmares,myspirittornbypoliticsofoppression olympics.ButwithinfluenceoftheCaracolfromtheZapatistas,I toomustmoveforwardinacyclicalmannertowardmyinnerrevolution.SoIwilltakewithmeeveryplaceIstepfootinthe sacredknowledgeofthesemountains,ofthegoodenergyIletinside me,andthestruggleforautonomyandexistence.

Arushcameovermyhead,andtheElectrolitI’vebeencarrying aroundseemstohelp.Mybodyhasbeenadjustingtotheclimate, altitude,andexercise.TheimagesI’veencounteredrelatemuchto whathipstersaredoingthroughouttheUS,withthoseverysame peoplewalkingthesestreetswithfalsedignitytheystolefromthe Puebloshere.

SanCristobaldelasCasasisexplicitlycolonial,butitsIndigenous rootsareembeddedintoMotherEarth:italwayshas.

“¡Vivos se los llevaron; Vivo los queremos!” Calls from the Ayotzinapamovementarevisiblygraffitiedongovernmentand clergywalls.

FromtheIndigenousmusic,poetry,andsitesIhadtheprivilegeto listentoenvivo,tohearfromavoiceofpassion,andclimbtothe topof Ihavedevelopedgreathurtofsoulfortheundocumented RazaintheUS.BordersareillegitimateentitiesontierraIndígena!

TheZoqueofnorthernChiapasarenotaPueblothatdressesintheir traditionaltrajeandtheystruggleforlanguagerevitalization.Not unliketheMayamoresoutheast,thiscommunityalsofightsfor autonomyandself-determination.

¡QueVivalosPueblosIndígenas!

INTRODUCTION: Tierra, Libertad, y Autonomía

Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation isazineprojectthataims toshareknowledge,politics,andliberatoryvisionsfromaXicano, Indigenistaperspective.ThiszineperiodicaliscreatedbyXicanaTiahui, apodcastcollectivebasedinLosAngeles.Weareasmallgroupof Xicanistas that maintain a spirit of Chicanismo that is Indigenista centered, learning also from Marxist, anarchist, and other radical traditionsthathaveinformedMexican,Xican@,Indigenous,andBlack organizinginthecommunitiesthatfacethebrutaloppressionofUS settlercolonialismandcapitalism.PueblosLibrescomesfromapassion towriteandexpressviewsfromaXican@decolonialspiritthatseeks abolition,decolonization,andfreedomforallpeople.

Thisvolumeistitled“Regeneración”andpayshomagetoelPartido Liberal Mexicano, where Ricardo Flores Magón (Zapoteco) led a Mexicananarchistnewspaperwiththesamename.Itisinthisspiritof anarquismoMexicanothatIfindthefiretoshareradicalthought.

Itshouldbenotedthatthiszineperiodicalhasonesoleauthor,whomay ormaynotincludeothervoicesandperspectivesforcollaboration.I onlyhopetodedicatethiszineperiodicaltothebuildingofknowledge that contests normative and westernized forms of knowing that continues to plague organizing spaces, academia, and movementbuilding.

Withtheconclusionofthisintroduction,Ileavethereaderwiththe followingpiecesofwritingthroughoutthezine,mostre-publishedand re-producedforthisvolume.

¡Queremostierra,libertad,yautonomía!

PARA MI RAZA-INDÍGENA

The words from which I write, from which I weaved together; they were written on Tongva land, which is known by Tovaangar. I want to acknowledge the original sovereign people of these lands in which we will decree our call to consciousness and action. May the Tongva always be recognized when we speak of decolonization within their lands, which through western colonialism was taken from them. May their resiliency and resistance be our inspiration in light of continuous oppression and acts of geno- and ethno-cide.

Beforeanydecisionsaremadeforworkingtowardsliberationofthe peoplewemustbeclearaboutwhoweareasapeopleandhowwemust maintainanddefendourspiritualandculturalidentity.

As a self-identified Xicano, I recognize el mandato de nuestr@s antepasad@sforourdetribalizedRazatohelpimagineandcultivateour Xican@Nation.Thisshouldnotbeconfusedwithanationalismrooted by western nation-state standards and understandings. We should perceive Nation-building as our right as Xican@ Indígenas (our proposedcollectivename)torecognizeourrootstothelandswhichour ancestorsoriginated,practicedceremony,andmigrated(andnowreside in the Spirit world) and articulate a Pueblo committed to the revolutionarystruggle.IacknowledgetheotherpresentNativeNations andPeopleoftoday(astheystrugglefortheirownautonomy)whoare marginalizedandcontinuetofightunitedstatessuppression.Indigenous peopletotheselandsofCemanahuac,butdisplaced,de-Indigenized,and de-tribalized from our original Pueblos Indígenas, I recognize colonizationandsettlercolonialismwiththeireffortstoeraseourculture andpeople.Asadiaspora,forcefullyremovedandcoercedtomigrate duetoimpoverishedeconomicrealitiesfromunitedstatesimperialism; consisting of many Indigenous Nations and Peoples; rootless and colonized;Iputattheforefrontourself-determinationtonameourselves andoureffortstoIndigenizeastoresistcolonialism.ThusIpropose Xican@Indígenaasourself-determinationtonameourselves,ofwho wehavealwaysbeen:anactwhichrecognizesourerasure,historically andcontemporarily,ofacollectiveidentityandareluctancetoassociate andidentifywithsettlercolonialnation-states.

(“ACalltotheAutonomousPueblosofAztlan”)

Idonot,underthenameofLaCausa,acknowledgedecolonizationasa metaphoricaleffort.Inthenameofourancestorsandourspiritualtiesto AbyaYala,Ideclaredecolonizationbeginwiththeimmediate:the oneness of the mind, body, and spirit. This process entails an acknowledgment of historical and intergenerational trauma, the misleading efforts of mestizaje (a colonial racial project), and the oppressivedispiritingoftheacademyandotherwesterninstitutions.

Asanundergraduatestudent-organizerfortheEagleandtheCondor LiberationFront,Icalltoourcompañer@stothinkaboutLaCausaand itsvision.Aswesituateourselveshereintheacademy,asfreshmen, sophomores, juniors, etc.; transfers and/or soon-to-be graduating seniors;itisourdutytoteachandlearnfromthespacesourveteran@s have carved for us. In following their foundation, it was my responsibilitytobeginthiscall,estemandato,toourRazainthe academy.

Wecannotandmustnotallowourownmovementtobedistractedby opportunist, reformist, and apolitical agents and organizations. Liberationissoughtinthoseplacesfreeofinstitutionalgovernmentand bureaucracy;itisinthecommunitiesofourpeoplewhostrugglebut persevereallantagonisms.Tofosterandcultivatespacesandplacesof critical thinking, collective action, and beautiful familia, we must continue and push forward in directions which we determine as significant,immediate,anddecolonial.Whereelsetostartbutourselves andourownspaces?Furthermore,whatdoesdecolonizationmeanfor us?Whatwillourliberationmean?WhatdoesAztlanmeantous:how dowemoveawayfromsettler-colonialunderstandingstoarticulateour belongingonthiscontinent?

LaCausatoday,inlightofanewregime,oneunderblatantracismand whitesupremacy,mustconsistofanorganizedpolitical,cultural,and spiritualmovement.AsRazaIndígenas,asbothlearnersandteachersin thespaceswemake,wemustfinditinourbruisedheartsdeestatierrato nametheimmediateoppressor,colonizer,andsuppressorinoureyes:the university.Whatdowedemandfromthisinstitution?Andwhatdowe sparkinthiscampusifitisnotthewheelsofrevolution?Itisuptous afterwehavegroundedourselvesandeachother,tofindthisanswer.

TheradicalyethumanizingefforttoIndigenizeconteststhecolonial hegemonywhichhasbarredourpeoplefortoolongtore-connectto theland,ceremony,Nation,andautonomy.Asagentsoftransformation andcreatorsofknowledge,Icallonyoutofindinyourspiritthewillto act.

Tlazocamati.

FirstlypublishedinazineissuecreatedbytheColectivoPancheBe (disbanded)ofMEChAdeUCLAintheFallof2017.Theoriginaltitle was“TowardaTransformativeVisionofDecolonization.”

Author’s note: Thissmallcalltoactionisreproducedhere,slightly edited,withatitlethatIchangedsometimeafterleavingMEChAde UCLAbutneverre-publisheditelsewhere.Iacknowledgethelanguage IuseheretosignifymanyideasthatIdonotcurrentlyagreewith anymore,butfelttheneedtore-shareastopromptdialogueand conversationoftheideaspresentedamongststudents.

These writings, "Introduction" and "Para Mi Raza Indígena" are taken from Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation: Volume 1: Regeneración. Other writings part of this zine are left out here, as they can be found in the Scribes blog via Xicana Tiahui.

PART ••• Shattered Thought, lost soul

The Spirit of Xicanism@ as Decoloniality

Thissecondvolumeof Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation was written in the spirit of Indigenous decoloniality. I stress the importanceof“Indigenous”decolonialitybecauseIfinditnecessaryfor Indigenous peoples to consider the discourse being produced by decolonialthinkersintherealmofdecoloniality.Decolonialityisa complexframeworkthatattemptstounderstandandactivelypursuea decolonizedworld.Itisatheoreticalworldviewthatgivesanametoa praxis,pedagogy,andpoliticalstrugglethatseeksdecolonizationforthe land,body,mind,andspirit.Decolonialityisaglobaldialogueamongst theworldscolonized,oppressed,andracializedpeoples.ItisforBlack, Indigenous,andworking-classpeoplesacrosstheworld.Here,inthe spirit of my own political consciousness, I center the work of Chicanismoasalivingsynthesisofdecolonialthoughtandpractice.

Xican@shavealwaystransgressednation-states.Ourworldviewasa diversecommunityofIndigenouspeoplesfromvariousroots,ancestries, andtraditions,informsourdecolonialimperativeforaliberatedworld freefromthechainsofcolonialityandcapitalism.Wehavecontinuously andconstantlybuiltourownnetworks,autonomy,andagencyinthis anti-Humanworldsince1492.Oursurvivanceisowedtoourancestors, ourveteransinthestruggle,andthegloballife-forceofoppressed peopleseverywhere.

Thisvolumeistitled“OnDecolonialism”;andwiththat,Iseektogivea nametoourhistoricalintellectualtraditionsthatconsiderdecolonial futuresandhorizons.Iwanttoofferanalternativepointofreference,a synthesisofourhistorythatgivesanametoourpresentandapossible future.Itisonlyabriefsketchofpossibledirections.

Asarticulatedinmypreviousvolume,thewritingsherehaveonesole author,whereasfuturevolumesmayormaynothavecollaborative piecesorsinglecontributions.

EAGLE AND THE CONDOR: Radical Worldviews for Xican@ Decoloniality

1-28-2019

Nation-statesandnationalterritorialboundariesasweknowofthem todayareafarce.Theyareimaginedyetmaterialrealitiesthatare complexandmanifestinwaysthatresultfromtheveryoppressionof marginalizedpeople.Theyarealsocreatedfromoppositiontocolonial encountersorimperialistimpositions.Ipointtothistoillustratetheway thatoppressedpeople,also,buildanderectnation-states,mostnotable throughrevolutionarystruggles,i.e.Cuba,Haiti,andAlgeria.Thisisthe topicIwanttoengageinthesewords,atopicthatiscomplex,difficult, andcomplicated.

AcrowdroaredasChicanopoetAluristareadapoemthatreachedfar backtotimeimmemorial,ahistorytoldintheoraltraditionand recordedonpaintedbooks.Aztlan,inAlurista’spoem,invokedanimage thatourdiverseMexicanpeopleintheUSwerenotforeigners,thatwe indeedhadalong-standinghistoryinthesesettlercolonial/Indigenous landscapes.WhatAluristatookformetaphorwastranslatedintopolitical motivations,tofightinanationalliberationstruggle.LaCruzadaporla Justicia(mainlyCorkyGonzales)tookliterallythewordsofAluristaand embracedtheconceptofAztlanintheirpoliticalmanifestothatwould becomeElPlanEspiritualdeAztlaninMarchof1969inDenver, ColoradoatthefirsteverChicanoYouthLiberationconference.What mosthistoriansandscholarsgetwrongaretheseexactmomentsand theirsubsequentmovements.Whatwassupposedtobeacallfora

unionoffreepueblos,”thatis,adiverseandheterogeneousunited peopleofIndigenousoriginfromMexico,becamewhatwouldbe knownasrevolutionary-culturalnationalism.Ipointtothismomentfor itscomplexities,onethatbirthedanationalliberationstrugglethat articulateditselfasAztlan,aterritorializedconceptthatplaceditselfona mapwithnationalboundaries.Thiswasthebeginningofwhatwe knowasthe“Chicanohomeland.”

IwanttoexpressthatAztlanisatopicforanotherday,becausewhatI am concerned with here is this mapping of territorial national boundariesinthenameofrevolutionarynationalism.Manyscholars today, such as Laura Pulido, call this Chicano, non-native settler colonialism.Iwantustobecriticaloftheseassertionsthathavepopped upinpopularsocialjusticespacesthatembraceanidentityofasettler.I wantustore-thinkthispositionalityinre-visitingtheliteratureofsettler colonialstudies.Whilenotallpeoplehaveaccesstothisscholarship,I wanttomakethatnoted:settleridentityisacomplexacademictermthat seekstounderstandpowerinrelationtosettlercolonialism.Whatthese scholarlyconversationsaredoingistakingthissettlertermoutof contextandareapplyingittothemselvesandtheircommunitywhen consideringtheirsituationandpositiononIndigenouslands.WhileI myselfstresstheimportanceofunderstandingdisplaced,oppressed,and marginalizedpeoples,wemustn’tjumpquicklytotheselazyperspectives thatmakethecomplex,westernizedstructuresofpowerextendto oppressedcommunitiesthatdon’thaveahistoryofpoweratthescaleof settlercolonialdomination.

IwanttocenterhowXican@sresisttheseboundariesofperceptionand theideologicalstraitjacketsthatkeepusconfinedtocolonialnarrativesof whowearetobe.AlthoughChican@shavehistoricallyandcontinueto spewtherhetoricofstatistnationalliberationonIndigenouslands,that indeeddoesfightforanimaginedterritory,Iwanttocomplicatethis withtheXican@decolonialturn.Idothistocritiquethelazyscholars whoassignChican@sasawholeassettlercolonizersandasnonIndigenous. Many Xican@s dating back to the early 1970s were engaginginIndigenousceremoniesandbegantoarticulatethemselves asIndigenous.TheydidthiseitherthroughAmericanIndianspacesor MexicanIndigenousspacesinthediasporatotheUS.Xican@scameto understandthemselvesasacomplexanddiversepeopleinrelationto theirhistory,origin,androots.

Moreso,theydefiedmodernityandcolonialregulationoftheiridentity thatsparkedtheirself-determinationtonamethemselves.Xican@s transgressedtheontologicalandmaterialdimensionsofthecolonialityof power/truth/being/knowledgestructuredwithinthecontinentandselfdeterminedaprofoundrelationtoland.

Thiswasareturntohome,toasacredpurpose,andtoourmultipleand diverseumbilicalcordsXican@sbelongedto.Xican@saffirmedtheir ownhumanityagainsttheirdehumanizationandtheanti-Humanworld that sought their erasure, dispossession, and assimilation to the colonialityoflasAméricas.Ourpastmistakesmustneverbeforgotten, butwemustremaincognizantoftransformation.Wemustn’tplace blameonthepastandre-assignitasrealityinourpresent.Weallare complexandweallgiveintothedistractingpowersofoursituations.

WhilemostXican@sarepresentandmostvisibleintheboundariesof the US, we also traverse nation-states and invoke practices of decoloniality.Butthisisneveraneasythingtodo,aswearealways questioned,critiqued,anddeemedafailureintheworldviewofmany differentpeople(many,interestinglyenough,inacademia,notfrom withinthecommunity).

Ourcollectiveanalysishasmaintainedpowerasacentralobjectofstudy, organizing,andstruggle.Today,Iproposethatwelooktodifferent scalesforstruggle,suchasthelocal/globalthatisinflectedthroughthe EagleandCondorprophecy.Itisinre-thinkingourpoliticsthatwecan engageinseriousmodesofdecolonialaction,ordecolonialism.

NothingIhavewrittenhereisnew,itisarehashingofwhatIconstantly write.YetIposeanimportantquestion:HowdoXican@srelatetothe EagleandCondor?

These writings, "Introduction" and "Eagle and the Condor" are taken from an unfinished zine called Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation: Volume 2: On Decolonialism. Other planned writings part of this zine are left out here, as they were pieces taken from the Scribes blog via Xicana Tiahui.

SCALES OF XICAN@ PLACED-BASED STRUGGLE

TowardaTheoryofStruggle.

ClassandthePoliticalEconomyofCirculation-Signs. DurationalStructuresofRace/Racialization.

UnmakingMestizaje-DisarticulatingtheWarMachine. Re-ChannelingtheFlowsofPlaced-basedIndigeneity. Land,Territory,Life.

IndigenistModesofRadicalism.

LaXicanadaasaMovementforMovement. AnarchyandCommunism-ByWayofZapatismo. Dignity.

*Thisfragmentconsistsofbulletnotesonazineessaythatwas notstarted.Thenotesareplannedsectionstoanessaythat wouldbethespringboardforalargerwork.Thislargerworkis nowmymanuscript-in-progresscalled El Otro Aztlán: Toward an Autonomous Xican@ Imaginary. *

This unfinished work is taken from Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation: Volume 3: Decolonial Love. The zine was abandoned, as was the series.

INTRODUCTION: These Sacred Lands of Tovaangnar

Let’sgetonethingstraight:weinLosAngelesareallvisitors(andifa whitesettler,occupiers)ofTovaangar,thetraditional,ancestral,and uncededterritoryoftheTongva-GabrielinoTribe.Theselandswe knowasLosAngelesCountyaretheoriginallandsoftheTongva,that mayincludesomeChumashandTataviamterritorialspaces.These peopleareIndigenous;theyaretheguardiansoftheselandswhichthe USgovernment,thestateofCalifornia,andLosAngelesCountydonot recognizeastheoriginalsovereignpeoplesoftheselands.

ItisduetothehistoryofEuropeancolonialismofthishemisphere,of thiscontinentweliveandoriginatefrom,thatsomanyRazaIndígena (gentesurdela fronteradelosestadosunidosyelcaribe)inhabitthe IndigenouslandsoftheUSsouthwestandarescatteredthroughoutthe restofthesettlercolonialnation-stateoftheUS.Manyofusneedto recognizeandunderstandthehistoryofTurtleIslandinitstotality;itis complex,complicated,anddiverseacrossallregions.

Theoriginalpeopleacrossthiscontinentweremigrant,trading,and civilizedpeoplebeforeconquestandcolonization;verymuchunlikethe restoftheworld:andwewereandareapeopleofknowledge,dignity, cosmovision,self-determination,andsovereignty. Thepresentrealities oftodayarenodifferent:complex,complicated,andmultifaceted;itis diverseacrossallregions,nowseparatedbyimperial,colonial,and neoliberalborders.ThishasledtoourpeoplesacrossTurtleIslandtobe coercedtomigrateandunjustlydisplacedfromtheirhomelands.All nation-states on Turtle Island are illegitimate, and many Pueblos Indígena (Native peoples) continue to suffer under these regimes foundedontheiroppression,subjugation,anderasure.

BeingRazaIndígenaintheUScamewithitsowncomplicatedhistory. EspeciallyinLosAngeles,thehistoryofRazaIndígenahasbeenmet with discrimination, oppression, and coerced assimilation. Between detribalizedRazaIndígenaandthosewhoknowandcomefromtheir originalPueblosIndígena,thereemergedifferentexperiencesthatcome withmanydifficultieshereinLA.

Weasacollectiveholddeartoourownconsciousnesstheeffortsofthe ChicanoMovementanditslatermanifestationsacrosstimeandspace. OurowneffortsthroughtheEagleandtheCondorLiberationFront andthisZineperiodical(orbetteryetourAmoxtliMacehualtlahtolli,our Codex-Zine)aretoestablishandarticulateourthoughts,ideas,and hopesforafuturefreeofwesternimpositiononthelivesofIndigenous peoples,peoplesofAfricandescent(Blackgente),andmarginalized communities.WedoholdattheforefrontanIndigenist/Indigenista perspectiveonissuesacrossTurtleIsland.Weareagainstallformsof whiteness,whitesupremacy,andwesternhegemony.

AsXicanaIndígenarevolutionariesstrugglingforelPuebloXicana, withthismanifestoserieswehopetoalsoarticulateourunderstandingof anewChicanismorootedinIndigenousworldviews,cosmovisions, epistemologies,andontologies.Xicanayotl(inNahuatl)isourwayof articulatinganewphilosophicalperspectiveandwayoflivingwhich respectsallofourrelationsonMotherEarth.ItaddressesthatelPueblo Xicanamustconsistofmanypeoplewhoallcomefromaspecificand particularoriginonTurtleIsland,butwhochoosetostrugglefor liberation, self-determination, and Indigenous sovereignty under el PuebloXicana.This,ofcourse,wouldnotnegateoriginalIndigenous identities,ourowncollectivebeingalsoofMexika,Quechua,Nahua, andP’urhépechadescent.Werecognizeourroleonlandswhichweare visitorsto,notsettlersasmany“Latinx”scholarssuggest,butrespect theselandsandacknowledgetheiroriginalpeoples.Asrevolutionaries, weseekcoalitionalwork,buildingbridgesbetweenNativesoftheUS andthosebelowtheborderwhoareignored.

Collectively we are Xicana Indígena: politically, culturally, and spiritually moving toward our vision of Indigenization and decolonizationoftheselands,ourminds,bodies,andspirit.Wemust organizetounsettlenation-states,dismantlesettlercolonialism,andpush thewesternworldoutofTurtleIsland.

Wehopetosparkconsciousness-buildingmovements,revolutionary direct-action, and a re-Indigenization of Turtle Island. Globally, Indigenouspeoplesarefightingfortheirlands,fordignity,andfor sovereignty:willyoujoinus?

SPIRIT OF THE EAGLE AND THE CONDOR

Withrespecttoyouandmyrelations,Ibeginwithaconocimientoof whereIcomefrom.Iwanttoacknowledgefirstmyancestorsfrommy mother'slineage,whoareMexican@sdisconnectedtotheiroriginal nameand/ororiginhistory.Matrilineally,inDurangomyfamilycame fromaPuebloinTepehuanterritory;patrilineally,myfamilyoriginated from areas in Zacatecas and Aguascalientes, Chichimeca Nation territories.FromthisdualitystemmedablendofIndigenousandmixed ancestry. Now to my father's lineage, who are also Mexican@s disconnected:matrilineally,inMichoacán,myfamilyoriginatedfroma PuebloP’urhépecha,withitsowncomplexhistory.Patrilineally,my familyoriginatesfromareasinMichoacánandDurango.Notunlikemy mother’sbloodlines,IhavebothIndigenousandmixedancestryfrom myfather.

AsIpositionmyself,Iamalight-skinned,cis-heterosexualpresenting, Indigenousman.Iself-identifyasadetribalizedXicanamanofelPueblo Xicanadelotroladoindiaspora.IhaveIndigenousroots,heritage,and ancestrytoMéxico,andcomplicatedlineagefromeurope:rape,forced marriage, colonial mestizaje. I have recovered and reclaimed my P’urhépechaidentity,aswellasstilltracingmyotheroriginalPueblos. ThroughtraditionalteachingsofmanyPueblosIndígenasdeAbyaYala, aswellasalearningdanzanteoftheMexikayotltradition,Iamonthe Red Road, a sacred road. This is my current positionality and conocimiento.

Historically,thesacredlandsweknowas“theamericas”wereoncean enormous, borderless continent that had traditional and respected territories.Ithasbeen525yearssincewesterneuropeancolonizationand subsequentsettlercolonialismofIndigenouslands.Thiscontinenthas facedtraumaandsoulsicknesshistoricallyandcontinuestoendurethis painfulreality.IndigenousmovementssuchastheAmericanIndian MovementandChicanoMovementhavebeenattheforefrontofbattles thatstruggledforhumanandIndigenousrights,liberation,land,and dignity,especiallybybeingfromand/orasgueststotheunitedstatesof amerikkka.

AsanindividualinfluencedandinspiredbytheChicanoMovement, knowingitsflawsandcritiques,Istillfindthemotivationtotransform itshistoryintothepresentday.HavingbeenforashorttimeaMechista fromMEChAdeUCLA,Ihavededicatedmyselftowardignitingthe wheelsofcollectivemovementandorganizingwhichaddressesthe issuesofIndigenouscommunitiesonTurtleIsland.ThroughXicanayotl, Ibelievethatwecancollectivelyrevolutionizethewayswethinkand takeaction:thisphilosophyisrootedinrevolutionaryimperativesand conocimiento. El Pueblo Xicana was an idea sparked by past articulationsofaChicanoIndigenousnation,onemanycalledthe ChicanoNation.WeareapeopleintheUSstrugglingforliberationfor ourRazaIndígena,andthiscollectivenameofourPuebloisourselfdeterminationfornation-buildingasaspiritualnation.

AsRazaIndígena,gentedelatierra,asapeoplesofwhatisfalselynamed “LatinAmerica,”itisourdutytofreeourselvesfromcolonialpowers,to decolonizefromthewesterncolonialpowerstructuresthatexisttoday. Oneofthepurposesofbeingarevolutionaryistocenterdecolonial workinourlivesandourorganizing.ElPuebloXicanaembracesall gentethataredetribalizedornotandwhochoosetherevolutionary struggleofliberatingallIndigenouspeoplesofTurtleIsland.

Inthespiritofourveteran@softheChicanoMovement,wecallontoall studentstojoinourstruggleforIndigenousliberation,toenterthe communitynearandfarandcentertheseissues.Fromtheredgroundof NanaTierraandthebirthinglightofTataSol,wemustfindourspiritin ourselvesandeachother.Ourtimesareripeforrevolutionarystruggle; wemustthinkasapeopleshowwecanbuildamovementthatdoesnot replicatesettlerlogicsandfreesthishemispherefromsettleroppression.

CallingontotheprophecyoftheEagleandtheCondor,thelandsofthe NorthandSouthwillagainknowitssacredconnection.Thisprayeris whatwilluniteourpeoplesaswestruggleasIndigenouspeopleswith diversehistories,cultures,languages,experiences,anddailylife.

Thisisacallforallstudentsandorganizersacrosstheunitedstatesto realizetheirpotentialandstartdialoguesonliberation.Socialjusticewill neverrealizetheeffortsandpathsofdecolonization.

Ourre-IndigenizationwillspirituallyconnectustoMotherEarthagain. Decolonizationrequiresacompletedetachmentandnon-participation towesternstructuresandpowersthatcompletelyridthemoftheselands.

WemustallmovetowardavisionoftheEagleandtheCondor.Inthat wayweshallrecognizeMotherEarthandlosPueblosIndígenasacross AbyaYala.OurIndigenousresurgenceisvitaltooursurvivalandour connectiontoourpeoples.Aswetheorizeourpoliticalworkour imperativeistoalsohearfromourEldersandthosewhoarethemost marginalized.Wemustalsobepatientandmotivatedinthiswork, especially with the communities we work with. We also mustn’t replicatecultideologiesandextremistvisionsthatdonotconsiderthe conditionsofwherewearenow.Manytimeswemayseegroups organizing around visions that are contradictory to Indigenous liberationstrugglesandperhapsunhealthyinphilosophy.Ourdecolonial workwilltaketimeandcommitment,anditmustcomefromtheheart.

Our responsibility is to Indigenous struggles and more so to the Indigenouspeoplesonthelands,weareon.ElPuebloXicanahasalways existedontheselandsandnowweemergetodismantlethesystemsthat havekeptusfromthelight.Xicanayotlisonlyanewwaytoframeand understandhowwemaymovetowardanIndigenousfuture.Ourday hascome.Xicanatiahui!

These pieces, "Introduction" and "Spirit of the Eagle and the Condor" are taken from Xicanism@: Spirit-Matter Minifestos for Radicals. The zine series as a planned project was abandoned.

PART •••• Last Words, xipe totek

Thepracticeofzine-writingisnoteasy.Opinions,experiences,and criticalthoughtsblow-upinyourfacewreakinghavoconthepsyche.I tendtotellmyfriendsthatmywritingfeelsawkward,wheremywriting processforzinesisusuallyunfiltered,raw,andnotfine-tuned.Unlike mostwhomakezineswithlong-termprocessestocraftandcreatea glowingpieceofart,Itendtocreatefrommyfreshemotionsartthat speaksnotruth,butimmediatereactionorinsightsbasedonvulnerable dwellingsonatopic.Thisistosay,myprocessforwritingisyearning foratimewhereIhaveaseriousengagementwithapracticetoedit, revise,andre-craftafinal“product.”Myanarchicspiritrefusesthis rehearsal,itsrepetition,anditsconsciousawarenessofbreaks,gaps,and critique.ItellmyteachersthatIamafraidofthispractice,fearingits mirrorintome.Ineedtogetoverit.

In2014Istartedwriting.Iwroteinjournals.Iattemptedtowritea novella (unfinished). I wrote half-baked poetry. And somehow, I continuetotalkaboutthis,becausetome,whereelsedowefindthe sporadic,nameless,andhardlyreadXicanxwritersorzinesters?Iwrite becauseIdon’tthinkIaminteresting.IwritebecauseIthinkIhave somethingtosay,aboutmybody,emotions,andmind.Thiswritingin myyounglifewasanoutlettomakenotonlyartbuttohaveasenseof myselfinrelationtotheworld.Icontinuetoquestionmymotives,and mydesiretodothis.Idon’tthinkitwillevermakesensetome,butIdo itanyway.

Inthiszine,youwillfindearlyworksthatIputtogetherforzinesand havebeenpassingthemout,selling,andthinkingaboutthemforthelast fewyears.Idecidedtostopprintingthemandabandonsomeofthemas projectsIwasworkingon.Ifyouknowme,Itendtocreate,devise,and workonmultipleprojects,manyofthemneverseeinganycirculationor readership.IamabandoningthembecauseasIamnolongercommitted tosomeofthosequestionsandhavedirectedmyenergiestootherworks inthelastcoupleofyears.Istartedmakingzinessincemyfirstonein 2017whenIcreated Xicano Caracol.Iwastwenty-onewhenImadethat zine,anditwasnotmybestwork,butitwasasmallpieceofwhatI learnedfrommyvisittoChiapas.

Theotherprojectswerezinesofpoetryandcriticalshortwritingson differenttopicsorideasthatIwantedtodiscuss(muchofwhatwas publishedinablog).Thiswaswithintheperiodof2017-2019whenI wasanundergraduatestudentatUCLAandanactivestudentorganizer withEagleandCondorLiberationFront,nowanautonomouscollective outsidetheuniversity.

WhenIgraduatedfromUCLA,Ispentalongtimethinkingaboutthese projectsIcreatedfromacertainconsciousness,practice,andmodeof thinkingthatcausedtheunfoldingofwhatIwroteabout.It’snothard toreadthesepoems,writings,andfragmentswithoutaskingyourselfifI at one time invited questions about nation-building, anti-colonial nationalism,orindigenismthatconcededtoformsofthinkingthatwere conceivablynaïve.IwasinsearchofaXicanismo,awayofbreaking withpastformsofChicanismoIsawaslimitedandreductive,butIthink asaself-critique Imanagedtoreproducecertaincontentthatwasn’t asoppositionalasImighthavethoughtatthetime.Iwanttonot abandonmyyouthfulwritings.Iwantpeopletocontinuetoreadthem, toengagethem,tocritiquethem.Iwantthesewritingsinsearchofa Xicanismotopromptdiscussion,dialogue,andthinking.Thatismy hopeasIwrestlewithapastselfinrelationtowordsandideasthatno longerresonatewithme.

In2020,Icreatedazinecalled Heresy of the Spirit.Ifeelnowthatthis zinewasmylastwordonLaChicanada.WhatIabandonedwereideas, themes,andtopicsthatwererootedinmyMEChAexperiences,inwhat IhopedChicanismocouldmeantodayasIalwaysattemptedtofleshout whatXicanismo,asanemergentparadigm,couldmeaninitsplaceor alignment.IthinkIhavecometotermswiththispastself,andIlook backathimtothink:“thosewerethegroundsoffirethatignitedthe belly,Imustnowsearchforotherpathsthatalignwithmenow.”Now, Iammoreinterestedinproducing,writing,andcraftingworksthat speaktoLaXicanada,thatgeneratefeelingssothatotherscouldbe invitedin.IamstillinsearchofaXicanismo,thoughIamuncertain aboutitasapoliticsornationalism,orpracticeofculture.Ithink Xicanismoisamodeofrelationship,awayofbuildingethics,apolitical consciousness,andtransborderformsofknowingandbeing.Xicanismo isaroadthatleadstootherroads,foritisacrossroads.

Ifollowthepaththatnowmakessensetome.Icouldn’thavedoneit withoutmypoetryormyzines.Theymakepartofthisescarvandoand thisself-reflection.Theyarethejourney,andIhopetheybecomepartof thejourneyforothersinsearchfortheirroadtoo.

Indian Land byJesusBarraza(DignidadRebelde)

In Xochitl, In Cuicatl: xicano indígena poetry (c.2017-18)

Volume1:noxtinnomecayotzin

Volume2:lasaméricasprofundas

Pueblos Libres: Xicanista Struggle for Liberation (c.2018-19)

Volume1:Regeneración

Xicano Caracol: A Zine of Revolutionary Reflections (c.2017)

Heresy of the Spirit: A Zine of Lost Futures Unforgiven (2020)

Negative Xicanidades: Terror, Becoming, and Cosmic Movements (2021)

Xicanista Radicalisms

Volume1:BridgingTogetherMultipleWorlds(2021)

co-editedwithGustavoGarcía&MaritzaJ.Geronimo

Xican@ Notes on La Travesía por La Vida

PartI:words,pictures,quotes,dreams,andencounters(2022)

co-createdwithGustavoGarcía,MaritzaJ.Geronimo,& NataliaM.Toscano

Abandoned Projects

Xicanism@:Spirit-MatterMinifestosforRadicals

InXochitl,InCuicatl:xicanoindígenapoetry

PueblosLibres:XicanistaStruggleforLiberation

Works-in-Progress

Cosmic Suffering: The Entropy of Human Autonomy

PartI:InnerStruggles(inprogress)

PartII:OuterStruggles(inprogress)

Erratic Textuality in Search of Nothingness

PartI:Nihilism,Angst,andTime(inprogress)

PartII:NewRitualsofAlienation(inprogress)

Allegories from the Void

ongoingseries,#1projectedfor2023 ongoingseries,#1projectedfor2023

Civilization of Death: a plague *zine* on the ruins of capital

Alacrán Desires: The Anarchy & Communism of La Caminante (inprogress,projectedfor2022or2023)

Aztlán: Towards a Radical Materialism of Xican@ Liberatory Movement, Imagination, and Embodied Struggle (inprogress,projectedfor2023)

Being and Encounter (planned,earlystages)

Methodology of Emancipation: A MoTo Zine for Practitioners of Decolonial Love (tentativetitle,andmultipleplannedparts)

Xican@ Notes on La Travesía por La Vida

PartII:reflection,visions,andthecall(inprogress,2023)

ABOUT THE ZINESTER

Kristian E. Vasquez isaXicanowriter,zinester,and political education facilitator from Tongva territory specificallysoutheastLosAngelesbutisworkingfrom SantaBarbara.HeisaPh.D.studentintheDepartment ofChicanaandChicanoStudiesatUCSantaBarbara studyingandresearchingtheXican@/Mexicanhuman condition as it emerges within the settler-colonial worldoftheUnitedStates.HeisamemberofEagle andCondorLiberationFront,ChicanxWorld-Making &FuturitiesProject(XicanaTiahui,TierrayLibertad ZinePress,andConocimientosfromBelow),andLa RedSextaGrietasdelNorte.Kristianistheauthorofa non-fictionbookforthcomingfromFlowerSongPress. He is currently focused on four book projects: an apocalyptic sci-fi novella tentatively called Toltecas Dreaming of Tamoanchan;ananti-manifestocalled El Otro Aztlán: Towards an Autonomous Xican@ Imaginary; amanuscriptofpoemscalled Sembrando Resistencia: Red and Black Poems;andamemoir-in-essayscalled Moral Failure: A Crossroads of Desire.Heisalsocollaborating onamanuscriptcalled Anarcho-Xicanisma,co-authored withMaritzaJ.Geronimo.Kristianwritesunderthe pseudonym white mountain rabbit,andyoucanfind him hopping around in the blog series

Negative Xicanidades.

Tierra y Libertad Zine Press isanautonomous,selfmanaged, and member-organized zine press that publisheszinesconnectedtoChicanx,Xican@,Latinx, Black, Afro-descent, mixed-race, and Native, IndigenouspeoplefromLasAméricas.Ouraimisto collaborate, design, create, publish, and disseminate zinesthatdrawfromvariousmediumsofcreativeand analyticalexpressions.Inthespiritofdo-it-yourself (DIY),rasquachismo,andPunksensibilities,wecreate zines to spark revolutionary imaginations and possibilities.Wedesiretocreatearadicalcommunityof creative,cultural,andartisticpractitionersandzinesters.

Tierra y Libertad Press collaborates with BIPOC zinesterstodevelopzineprojects.Wesupportthrough visualdesign,smallprintingfunds,promotion,and distribution.Weprovidedesignsupportintheformof transmittingtheskillsofcut'n'pasteordigitalmethods ofzine-making.Furthermore,weoffersmallupfront printingfundstoensurethefirstprintofazineproject. Fromtherewepromoteanddistributethezineonour varioussocialmediaplatforms.

To learn more about the process of creating and publishingazinepleasecontactusat:

xicanatiahui@gmail.com.