The Stages of Dying and of Losing a Loved One
Usually, a person (or their loved ones) will go through all or some of the following stages of feelings and emotions. The dying person's stages can often be more predictable than the stages experienced by a loved one who has just suffered a loss.
1.Denial
The dying person being able to drop denial gradually, and being able to use less radical defences, depends on:
–how he/she is told about his/her status;
–how much time he/she has to acknowledge what is happening;
–how he/she has been prepared throughout life to cope with stressful situations, particularly those that are out of their own control.
2.Anger
Rage, anger, envy, and resentment may replace denial.
"Why me?"...show more content...
This lays a foundation of trust upon which the last days can be built and cherished for years to come. If loved ones fail to lay this relationship of trust, like small children, they will be bewildered, feel frustrated, misunderstood, and not be at peace.
Loved Ones and the Death Process. The process of death and dying and stages experienced by the person surviving the death of a loved one are often less predictable than those of the dying person. Being a survivor of death is quite different from being the one dying. Death is not a common occurrence for anyone. Few people have witnessed death and no one can say he/she is comfortable with it. Watching the dying person's physical changes requires focusing on the 'real' person inside. Sometimes the dying person's appearance changes and deteriorates. He/she may lose hair, become thin, and look more delicate as the end nears. Loved ones and caregivers should focus on who the person "was" and afford the dignity and respect that comes out of love for that dying person.
Misunderstanding in the dying child. Dying children often blame themselves for what is happening to them and for the sorrow and anxiety they see in their parents. It is important that family and loved ones of dying children give them a clear explanation of what is happening to them and that they are not being punished by death.
Misunderstanding in the child
On Death and Dying she agonizes: "How do you do research on dying, when the data is so impossible to get? When you cannot verify your data and cannot set up experiments? We, she and her students, met for a while and decided that the best possible way we could study death and dying was by asking terminally ill patients to be our teachers." She then explains her methods: "I was to do the interview while they, her students, stood around the bed watching and observing. We would then retire to my office and discuss our own reactions and the patient's response. We believed that by doing many interviews like this we would get a feeling for the terminally ill and their needs which in turn we were ready to gratify if possible."(qtd.in Friedman, 40)....show more content...
Kevorkian had a very large percentage of the population agreeing with him, according to Michigan law, his actions were considered murder. The same mindset exists today. I believe a large majority of the population would like to believe that if they are faced with an incurable or terminal illness, the decision whether or not to end their life would be theirs to make. I'm sure there are valid argu–ments contradicting this belief but baby steps have already been taken by a few brave states and, hopefully, more will follow. Our Legislators need to fully examine all the pros and cons of a Death With Dignity Law and establish reasonable guidelines. The final decision must be made by the patient while he is mentally alert and deemed com–petent.
Perhaps Dr. Kevorkian's most famous quote is "Dying is not a crime." I believe his words are absolutely true. To allow someone to die with dignity should not be treated as a criminal act. The words on his tombstone read "He sacrificed himself for everyone's rights." Dr. Kevorkian was 83 years old when he died on June 3, 2011. He chose to not have his life prolonged by any artificial means and died a peaceful, pain–less death a choice we should all have regardless of the
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On Death and Dying By Elisabeth Kubler–Ross For my book review, I read On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kubler–Ross. Dr. Kubler–Ross was the first person in her field to discuss the topic of death. Before 1969, death was considered a taboo. On Death and Dying is one of the most important psychological studies of the late twentieth century. The work grew out of her famous interdisciplinary seminar ondeath, life, and transition. In this paper, I give a comprehensive book review as well as integrate topics learned in class with Dr. Kubler–Ross' work. Like Piaget's look at developmental stages in children, there are also stages a person experiences on the journey toward death. These five stages are denial/isolation, anger, bargaining,...show more content...
My grandmother wanted to discuss how financial security and wellbeing matters for her family would continue to thrive after she went to heaven. I agreed with Kubler–Ross when she mentioned that this action not only served the interests of the patient (my grandmother), but of the whole family's defensiveness. My grandmother was fairly hostile when she was in the pain before her death. Kubler–Ross mentions that as the family reacts personally to this anger, they respond with increasing anger on their part, only feeding into the patient's hostile behavior (65). Another important quote from the section on anger states, Nobody can put on frosting when you are hurting (85). This is true for many people. It seems that if one is feeling angry and upset, surely enough the wheel of anger will revolve around to those around them. They show examples of the importance of our tolerance to others rational or irrational not only in dealing with terminal patients. Our ability to listen to others will help to express the needs (such as comfort) of the dying patient. Many times, the reason for dying is associated with bargaining for more time. I am certain that through the whole process my grandmother thought, if only I had done this differently, maybe God would give me more time to clean up my act and change my behavior. I feel we can learn a lot from this section in our day–to–day lives. We all ask our individual if only and if we are struck with an illness, we fight for Get more content
Chapter Five Summary
The chapter started by discussing that "most people fear the death process more than the event of their actual death". (Leming & Dickinson, 2016, p. 156). The person who is experiencing dying is dealing with a whole range of mixed emotions that can affect a person actions and the people that individual interacted with. For example, a dying cancer patient who was told by his doctor that they are not going to survive is going to be dealing with anger, anxiety, depression, and isolation. The individual might even lose the ability to control their bodily functions and to even move under their own power. A person losing their ability to be independent can really make that person extremely depressed. Going through the Five Stages...show more content...
The participants would also have food says prayers and goodbye and try to give each other support and comforts as well. Now in the last couple of years that has changed from having the wake located in one of the family member houses to just having the funeral service at a funeral home. There is also a feeling and emotion a person get when they visit a hospital for a terminally ill friend or loved one. They feel like the hospital is a place where a person can be admitted be very ill but still have the chance of living then without warning things turned for the worst and they never make it back out the hospital.
Conclusion
Death is a process that all human being have to go through as the end process of being alive. This does not mean that every person is going to react the same way or even follow the same pattern as other people. A person going through the five stages of dying might start off with the fourth stage, depression and go back to the second emotion anger before ever getting to the last stage acceptance. Death is not an easy subject or thing to deal with but with more time understanding, and support from family members and friend, we can learn to live with it and help other people to handle this very tough event in
Reflection Paper On Death
Reflection Paper
The death and dying class has helped in changing my perception about death and also has enlightened me about the cost of a traditional American funeral. I learned so much from this class; I cannot write it all on this paper. Some of the information that I am going to write about are: the different stages of death, how it is influenced and the little deaths we face in our lives. Green burial, embalming and home funeral, some of the different cultural death, living will and advance directive, and the suicide contract, children understand of death, dying without a next of kin and the near death experience.
Understanding Death
This class has helped me understood that death is not only the loss of our loved ones but also the...show more content... The family can keep the body at home for several days, bathe the body and build their coffin. They share memories of the deceased. Green burials conserve land and cost less compared to traditional burial (Tripler, 2013). Finding out that embalming does not preserve the body forever was interesting, when an embalmed body is exhumed most people will be horrified to look at it (Tripler, 2013). It was good to learn about other different ways of burial in the United States.
Cultural death
There are different cultural death mentioned in this class, I found the day of the dead and Living with the Dead interesting. Knowing other people culture have always been intriguing to me. It is interesting to learn about all this different death culture; many believe that death is not the end but the beginning of a new journey. The Day of the Dead celebration is done based on the belief that making the spirit happy will provide good luck and protection to the deceased family. According to Despelder and Strickland (2015), it is a belief that one's well–being depends on respectfully remembering the death and the ritual is a moral obligation to the dead. Living with the dead, burial is delayed in other to allow family members to grief and prepare for the afterlife and the burial is expensive. The body can be removed from the grave every couple of years for the "me'nene" ceremony. These two cultures are different from mine, in my culture when someone dies all their deeds is what is
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Countless human beings build bonds with other individuals throughout their lifetime. Once the bonds are broken as a result of death and dying, majority of the human beings will go through a period of mourning. There are multiple aspects that can contribute to the way an individual mourns the death of loved ones, however,gender plays a leading role in the human being's reaction. I am going to show this by examining the natural stimuli, historic stimuli and social stimuli. In my opinion I feel that the way in which human beings mourn is most times unique to that individual and should not be compared to anyone else's. In view of that, no human being should be judged by another individual's personal experiences (Kahane 49). Many...show more content...
There have been recent findings from studies that have been carried out regarding the MRI scans of males versus females. The scans have provided information showing that multiple males have less neural connectors between the two hemispheres of the brain which indicate that males have a higher chance of struggling with vocally conveying their emotions. On the other hand, scans that have been taken of females show that numerous females have a larger number of connectors between the two hemispheres of the brain which indicated that females are less likely to struggle with the vocal conveying of their emotions. The dissimilarities in the male and female brain structure show that males in general discover and converse about their emotions through reasoning. While, females in general will require some form of communication with others regarding their emotions. After examining the gender's brain structure and forming a perspective on how they both deal with emotions it is evident that males and female's brains speak different languages (Kahane 49).
The communication styles of males versus females are not similar and can sometimes be misunderstood by the opposite gender. Males are misjudged for having heartless and solitude communication styles, whereas, females are often misjudged for having over–the–top and Get
We are all aware of death, and we know it will come to us all. To many of us death brings a chill down our spine ridden with fear, but to others it is ridden with strength and satisfaction of accomplishment. Fortunately or unfortunately we are all condemned to death. However no one knows when exactly the inevitable will approach, but we all know it is inescapable. But what makes death seem more realistic to us and those in denial of it is the lucid pictures of people suffering, in pain and those on their death bed before many of us can be rationale and accept the truth. Someone once said, “Life is about 50–70 years of pain. One is born through the mother’s pain and die leaving others in pain.'; How do we accept and...show more content...
This increase of love allows our mind to feel some sort of satisfaction that good can come out of praying and if one was to die, our faith would tell us that we did our best. In other words, our love towards our faith tends to be one of the strongest lifelines we can posses to reduce the guilt and pain of those around us who are suffering.
For many of us who are in a relationship either by marriage or simply as mates can relate to the feelings they are exhibited within and around one when they are with or simply thinking about our mates. This feeling of security and belonging tends to increase our love towards each other, especially during times of pain and death. We begin to see the world of insecurity and being alone, a world of being abandoned and feeling useless. There are those who don’t posses a “soul mate';, and nonetheless they too feel an increase of love; the love of having a mate of being wanted and loved, and the feeling of not being alone.
As parents or parents to be, whether within months or years, we all as humans strive for one goal at the end; to raise our children the best we can and the best they can be. If and when the time comes for us as parents and humans to pass on, and if we leave our children here, without a sense of accomplishment and Get more content