Salem MOM | April / May 2021 by wpdigitalpublications

real local moms

since 2005

Salem | April / May 2021

COVER MOM

AGES & STAGES

HOME DECOR

KADY CHEN

WHY DOES MY KID DO THAT?!

WHAT’S GOING BAH-BYE

Sublimity Medical Clinic Primary Care & OB Care

In addition to caring for you through your pregnancy and delivery, Dr. Alvale, Dr. Dunham and Dr. McCarthy provide primary care for infants, children, and adults.

SUBLIMITY MEDICAL CLINIC Part of Santiam Hospital

503.769.2259

santiamhospital.org

114 SE Church St. · Sublimity

Emily Alvale, MD

Sara Dunham, MD

Eva McCarthy, DO

Santiam Hospital & Clinics accept all insurance including all Medicare Plans, OHP, Kaiser Permanente & Blue Cross mommag.com

It’s what‘s

Rice Rice Baby 20 Meet the MOM experts .... 4

inside that counts

Why does my kid do that?!

Home Decor

They know what they're

Cover MOM: Kady Chen ....................... 10

talking about.

This mom gets real.

Because I said so ............. 5

Rice rice baby ..................20

A message from MOM

Healthy MOM ................... 8

Why does my kid do that?!..................... 24

Keeping bodies &

Ages & Stages

Home decor .....................30 What’s 2021 & what’s going bah-bye.

brains active

More ways to love your MOM mommag.com facebook.com/ lovemommag info@mommag.com We love hearing from you. Email us with feedback, story ideas or nominations.

Cover MOM

Photos by Joni Loraine Photography

CONGRATULATIONS to the Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center, winner of the 2021 MOM Magazine Community Impact Award. For more information about the Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center, see their ad on page 17.

Advertise today Want to get the word out about your business? Contact Kim Leighty at kim.leighty@mommag.com mommag.com 3

meet the

experts

[They know what they’re talking about] Money MOM Your finances with Caitlin Davis, CFP®, AAMS®, Page 6

Say Cheese

Health

Say cheese with Dr. Ana Castilla, page 18

Healthy MOM with Santiam Hospital, page 8

Drive On the road with Laura Augustine, page 28

“I had my patience tested… it was negative.

“

— Just about every mom

4 mommag.com

EDITOR'S NOTE

Because I said so! Published by GO Creative, LLC 263 29th Avenue SW Albany, OR 97322 Editor-in-Chief Managing Director Audrey Meier DeKam audrey@mommag.com Salem Advertising Representative Kim Leighty kim.leighty@mommag.com 503-510-9036 Mid-Valley & Lane County Business Development Manager Linda Blair linda@mommag.com 541-231-7250 Designer Sean Carver

MOM MagazineTM is produced by GO Creative, LLC. © 2021 All rights reserved. Any reproduction, in whole or part, without written permission of the publisher, is prohibited. Information in the magazine is provided for general information purposes only with the understanding that none of the content constitutes professional advice. Opinions expressed by the writers or advertisers are not necessarily the opinions of the magazine or the publisher. Inclusion in the magazine does not constitute endorsement of information, products or services.

NO FAMILY DINNERS FOR MOTHER’S DAY, PLEASE When my boys were ages 2 and 4, we nicknamed them Chaos and Destruction. We were in a constant state of plucking them off of some high surface or rescuing the cat from their sticky-fingered clutches. Along comes Mother’s Day, and some well-meaning but misled family member puts out the idea, “Let’s all go to a restaurant to celebrate!” Oh lawd, I knew it would be a bad idea, but it’s family, and I have a fabulous mother-inlaw I adore, so of course I wanted to be part of any event that celebrates her. But my offspring? I did not relish bringing them to a real restaurant, aka the kind without ball pits. I tried — oh, how I tried — to find child care for that day. Fat chance when all the good ones were doing something already for their own moms. With dread I knew I would have to take the boys with us. It turned out exactly as you expect it would: they ripped up sugar packets, used silverware and tables as xylophones and screeched their age-appropriate displeasure at being expected to sit in a chair and converse with others. My husband and I resorted to running around with them outside for the majority of the meal. I cannot remember what I ate, but I can tell you it was as cold as every other meal I’d had since delivering my firstborn. At that very moment, I made a deal with myself: never again did I want to be taking care of children on Mother’s Day. I love my children fiercely and I would give my life up for theirs without hesitation. I just needed to get away from them for one day of the year, with no cooking, no breaking up squabbles, no noise.

And I found my holy land: it’s called Edgefield, located in Troutdale. Every May (minus the recent Covid ones) my two sisters fly into PDX and we spend a divine weekend having food and drinks served to us. There is a pool with a bar. There are massage services. There is artwork we all adore. It is booked at least a year in advance, and it’s glorious for Mother’s Day. My husband handles the kids while I’m gone, which I appreciate more than any flowers or jewelry. Every now and again, I’ll see another mom while I’m at Edgefield, her hands flying around the table to keep the malt vinegar from being smashed to the ground by her young child. She’s either a newbie mom or one who couldn’t find childcare. She appears stuck in a hell loop. Silently, I send her strength through the slightest tip of my margarita glass. To next year, darling. Audrey Meier DeKam Editor-in-Chief

mommag.com 5

Money MOM

How can women overcome obstacles to financial security? Even today, women tend to encounter more obstacles than men in the pursuit of financial security. Let’s consider a few of them.

O BEGIN with, women are still

more likely to leave the workforce, at least temporarily, to raise children, resulting in lower contributions to employer-sponsored retirement plans such as 401(k)s. And women are often the ones who become full-time caregivers of aging parents or other relatives. Caregiving duties can exact a big financial toll: The lost wages, pensions (including 401(k)s and similar plans) and Social Security benefits that a woman loses to become a full-time caregiver amount to more than $300,000 over her lifetime, according to the National Academy of Sciences. Consider the COVID-19 pandemic: Just a few months ago in December, women

Just 41% of women are “ confident about retirement

”

lost 156,000 jobs while men gained 16,000, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, which also reported that women accounted for 54% of the jobs lost from the pandemic in 2020. And women are not unaware of their circumstances and outlook. Just 41% of women are confident about retirement, 6 mommag.com

compared with 56% of men, according to a survey by Edward Jones and Age Wave. But you can take steps to help improve your financial outlook. Here are a few suggestions: Take full advantage of retirement plans. If you are still working and your employer offers a 401(k) or similar retirement plan, take full advantage of it. Put in as much as you can afford each year and increase your contributions when your salary goes up. Also, within your plan, you’ll want to choose the mix of investments that can help provide the most growth potential, given your individual risk tolerance. Additionally, even if you contribute to a 401(k) or similar plan, you may also be eligible to fund an IRA, which gives you even more investment choices. Evaluate your Social Security options. You can typically start taking Social Security benefits when you’re 62, but your monthly checks will be much larger if you wait until your “full” retirement age, which will likely be between 66 and 67. You might also consider whether you’d be better off by taking spousal benefits, if you’re married and your spouse earned more money than you. You’re generally even

eligible for spousal benefits if you are divorced, as long as you were married at least 10 years and you haven’t remarried. Understand your current financial picture. Many women are stepping into the role of managing their family finances but that doesn’t mean that they fully understand or feel confident in what it all means. As women we want to know both what our money is doing and what purpose it serves. Are your finances reflective of your values, your family goals and dreams? A great financial advisor can help you understand where you currently stand, help you ensure you are aligned with your values, stay on track for your goals and provide guidance to help you make important financial decisions throughout your life. Brought to you by:

Caitlin Davis, CFP®, AAMS® Financial Advisor, Edward Jones

515 Taggart Dr. NW, Ste #130 Salem, Oregon (503) 585-1464 edwardjones.com

[ Momism

#15: Go

play outside!

INAVALE FARM SUMMER DAY CAMPS

]

Private

Early Education Preschool Ages 3 & 4

Sow the seeds of possibility THREE-HOUR SESSIONS Monday - Friday, 9:00 - 12:00

Each rider is assigned their “own” horse for the week. There is plenty of time for grooming, demonstrations, tacking up, and of course riding. Learn more about our programs and riding lessons, and download forms to get started at inavalefarm.com.

2021 DATES: July 12-16

August 9-13

July 26-30

August 23-27

• A culture of kindness • Small class sizes • Play-based learning • Nature play • Outdoor classroom • Learning gardens • Music and P.E. • Hot lunch daily • Before and after-school care (4 and older) • Safe Campus in a South Salem neighborhood

INAVALE FARM 31786 Horse Farm Ln Philomath, Or 97370 (541) 929-5706 www.inavalefarm.com

(503) 362-3443 | qpschool.org Queen of Peace is a WCEA accredited private Catholic School

mommag.com 7

“

Being a student athlete or a student musician can foster creative thinking and life lessons that extend beyond the classroom.

“

8 mommag.com

KEEPING BODIES & BRAINS ACTIVE Over the last year, many of us have become intimately acquainted with The Great Indoors. From social restrictions to school-from-home, adults and children alike have spent an inordinate amount of time hunkered down, waiting for the pandemic to subside.

S THE MONTHS go by however, we must consider that it could be some time before we’re all back to business and life as usual. For parents, it is especially challenging to keep their children’s bodies and brains active. Sports have long been the go-to activity for kids of all ages. Children learn valuable lessons about teamwork, good sportsmanship and gain the ability to accept (and respond to) coaching. These are skills that stick with a child throughout their life and are applicable from school to the jobsite. Assigning enjoyment to physical activities goes a long way toward a future of healthy lifestyle choices: • When school-sponsored sports aren’t available due to age, schedule or other restrictions, parents can pursue a low-cost, fun alternative in community-based programs such as those through the Boys and Girls Club. • Although exceedingly popular, not every kid wants to play soccer. Dance, gymnastics and yoga are healthy alternatives. Keeping a child’s mind engaged in a disengaged time can be a challenge. Studying music has been shown to encourage creative thinking (it’s learning another language, after all) and performing in an orchestra or band achieves the same teamwork skills as a sports team. Additionally, studies have shown that one’s brain actually works harder while studying music, so it can help flex that muscle for use in other scholarly areas. In some local school districts, school children have the good fortune to be offered opportunities to pick up an instrument as early as the fourth

grade. And, as a school-sponsored activity, every effort is made to ensure that any child can participate, regardless of resources. • Choir programs are often offered before or after school, and for class credit in high school. • Marching band, jazz band, pit orchestra and other opportunities are available in high school, in addition to solo and ensemble competitions across the state. • Salem Youth Symphony offers no-audition and auditioned opportunities in four different levels of symphony orchestras. Visit salemyouthsymphony.org for information. • If your child is looking for something a little different, RiverCity Rockstar Academy offers classes to budding rock-n-rollers. Visit rocksalem.com for information. The skills learned while participating in sports or music programs go far beyond the winning goal or the prize-winning performance. Being a student athlete or a student musician can foster creative thinking and life lessons that extend beyond the classroom.

Brought to you by: www.santiamhospital.org

mommag.com 9

Family comes first.

Family Husband: Yao Zhang, business owner Children: Annabel Zhang, age 4, and Aiden Zhang, age 2 Profession: Realtor, area manager at Amazon, business owner Communities: Beaverton & Salem

Photo credit Joni Loraine Photography

All families are unique. Tell us about yours. Currently a family of four, with one on the way! My husband, Yao, is the chef of the house. He can cook any cuisine and can make the most delicious food. I’m grateful that he does all the cooking at home, since I’m not a good cook. He complains that I’m a picky eater, but I blame it on his amazing cooking skills that set my expectation so high. Annabel is almost 5 years old, and she’s the big sister of the family. She is a clever and independent little girl who is always ready to provide a helping hand. She is a curious one with a lot of questions, but is definitely growing up to be her own character. Aiden, age 2, is a shy mama’s little boy. He is the opposite of his sister, and tends to be on the quiet side. He is definitely growing up to be a foodie though. He eats more than his sister! And then there’s me, the mom, who keeps the family sane. The mom that schedules all the appointments, remembers to pay all the bills, and plans all the family activities and vacations. When did you know you wanted to be a mom? I grew up in a large family being really close to my aunts, cousins and uncles. So naturally, I knew that having kids was somewhere in my future, but there wasn’t really a moment when I knew I wanted to be a mom or even felt ready to be a mom. It’s just one of those things that you learn as you go and to this day, I’m still learning on how to be a mom.

KADY CHEN 10 mommag.com

mommag.com 11

QA Do you think that parenting is easier or more challenging than when you were growing up? I definitely feel like it’s more challenging now than before. I don’t remember going to preschool growing up. I woke up in the morning, got dressed and rode the bus to school all by myself starting in kindergarten. I would come home by myself, go to my neighbor’s house and play until dinner time. I feel like growing up, there was a lot more leisure back then than now. These days, I feel like I have a lot more responsibilities as a mom to make sure my children are getting everything I didn’t get in my childhood. Whether it’s preschool, extracurricular activities, traveling experience, toys or clothes, I definitely feel the pressure to provide them with more than I ever had as a child. 12 mommag.com

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments? My proudest moment is Annabel’s first day of preschool, as I watched her walk into the classroom and wave goodbye to us. I was definitely tearing up. Kids grow up so fast the first couple of years, you don’t realize it until you reflect back upon it. What is the most surprising thing you have found wedged between the sofa cushions or behind a car seat? I’m pretty sure there’s enough food crumbs under my kids’ car seats to last me a week in the car. We’re all moms so we know that no one is perfect all of the time, or even some of the time. Tell us about your most recent “Mother of the Year” moment. You know, like forgetting to pick the kids up from school. Most recently I was really sick at home with both kids. My husband left for work, and I was doing my best to take care of both kiddos but I was really not up for it. So for about seven hours straight, I just laid in bed and slept while the kids took care of themselves and took care

of me. I wasn’t able to prepare food for them, and we were all getting hungry so Annabel went and got us all apple sauces and a banana. That was lunch for us. For dinner, she prepared us all a bowl of cereal. I felt like it was going smoothly until my husband came back and woke me up — I hadn’t changed Aiden’s diaper all day! What is something you swore you would never do before kids that you now do? (skip showers, go to a drive through coffee in your pjs, etc.)? The best thing about being a mom is that I feel like no one can judge me if I wear anything. You only see me dolled up about 15 days out of the year, and that’s mainly for holidays or date night. I’ve been wearing sweatpants so often, I stole a few of my husband’s to call mine. In what way are your children like you? How are they different? Annabel is like a miniature me. She’s a quick learner and really independent, but can get emotional easily. I don’t remember talking as much as her when I was a kid

though. She can talk my ears off. Aiden on the other hand is nothing like me. He is more on the quiet side and really dependent on us. He is also a stubborn boy. You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say, “______________.” Clean up all your toys! No more iPad!

No one works harder than mom. We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks? For me personally, I just keep myself busy and make sure I prioritize my to-do list and get as much done throughout the day as possible. My children were born with me running around getting work done, so they are used to being in and out of the house and running errands with me. If I need to stock up on inventory for my ice cream shops, I would take the kids with me. It’s tough because I have to take them in and out of the car seats and make sure they behave while I shop and put things into the cart. When I have to show homes to a client, I drop them off for a few hours with my parents or grandma but sometimes I take them along. My clients are awesome and never mind that I bring the kids along. Especially now with COVID, I have to be super cautious that they are wearing their masks, not touching anything, and sanitizing so I do try to keep them home if possible.

Portland, specializing in rolled ice cream and bubble tea. I also own a Chinese BBQ restaurant in Beaverton called The Skewer Bar, which specializes in skewers from wood fire and authentic Chinese dishes. What have you learned professionally, that has helped you as a mom? One thing that I learned from my work that helped me as a mom is to show by example. I never ask any of my employees to do things that I’m not willing to do myself. Likewise, the expectations that I set for my children are achievable if they set their minds to it, and I won’t force them to do anything that they don’t want to do. Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent. My most recent achievement that I’m super proud of is my promotion at work. I joined Amazon back in May of 2019 as a level 4 manager and was promoted to level 5 in April of 2020. I recently found out about my level 6 promotion in April 2021. I’m super excited and can’t wait for my new role.

When was the last time you failed? What did you learn? I believed opening a new restaurant at the start of the pandemic is my biggest mistake. I ran into a lot of barriers with gaining business as a new company, hiring during COVID, and just trying to keep the restaurant going. It was a difficult time for everyone and our family was struggling to keep up with the bills. But luckily we pushed through the difficult times, and now we are not struggling as much as we were when the pandemic first started. What I did learn from this experience is that sometimes things just don’t go the way you plan, and that’s okay as long as you keep trying and don’t give up. Do you have a goal you’d like to accomplish within the next five years? I was pregnant with Annabel entering my second year of college, and since then I’ve been taking on the responsibility of an “adult” and being a mom. My husband and I really didn’t have a fun adventurous adulthood since we became parents at a young age. My biggest wish is that by age 30, my kids can be independent human beings. That way my husband and I can enjoy ourselves and travel places without the kids.

It’s not easy juggling so many tasks, and often I fail to feed them the most nutritious meal or keep a good nap schedule when I’m on the run. But it definitely gets easier as they get older, and I really love the fact that I’m setting an example for my children as I go after my own dream. My advice for other moms is to never let motherhood be an excuse that you can’t pursue a career. If you want to live a better life, or give your kids more, then don’t be afraid to chase after it. Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home. I work a full-time job as an area manager at Amazon. The operation schedule works well for me as I work a four-day, 10-hours shift. I’m grateful that when I’m at work, my husband takes care of the kiddos at home so I can focus solely on my job. On my days off from Amazon, I work as a realtor and take my clients to find their dream homes. I also own 22 Below, local rolled ice cream shops in Salem, Tigard and mommag.com 13

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy. Tell us about your community/upbringing growing up. How did it shape the mother you are today? I grew up in a really diverse community, and I’m grateful for being part of the Salem community. I believe it’s extremely important to grow up in a diverse community as it allows you to experience different cultures and meet people from different origins. It shaped me into a mom who understands the differences in people, sees the differences and appreciates those differences. It also shaped me into a person that is well aware of the impact on a person’s mindset when stereotyping. Being a mom is difficult, but being a minority mom is even more difficult. My biggest wish is to influence my children to grow up to be people who accept the differences in others, to never judge someone by their cover and to treat everyone equally with the same respect. What is special about where you grew up? I grew up in Salem, and what’s really special about this place is the culture. It’s a place with extreme diversity, but also a beautiful place where people respect each other and their cultures. It’s a place where you won’t get judged because of your skin color or where you came from. What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you? A good education will lead to a successful career. I am a first generation college graduate. My father has drilled this into my head since I was little. He knows the importance of an education and explained to me that in order to find a good job in the future, I need to attend school and must be academically excellent in order to get into a good college. This is something I still believe in to this day. When was the last time you did something for the first time? For the first time, I gave my whole family haircuts since we weren’t able to go out and get haircuts. I’m so proud of my work that I don’t think they need to go visit a salon anymore. Which good habit do you wish you started earlier? Going to sleep early and getting at least 7 - 8 hours of sleep every night. When did you realize you were no longer a child? I think I’m still a child at heart, and sometimes I like to use this mindset when I spend time with my kids. What is one thing you never had that you want for your kids? I want them to have the 14 mommag.com

chance to learn new activities and sports that I never had a chance to at an early age. What are three words your best friend would use to describe you? Outgoing, diligent, determined If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be? Teleport! Mainly because I’m not a fan of driving. What’s your superpower? I am able to multitask and do many things at once. What’s in your mom purse right now? Lots of keys, napkins, candies, bandages, wallet and a small jar of Egyptian magic cream for any cuts/burns. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, in which event would you win a gold medal? Binge watch TV shows. I can watch a good show for 12 hours straight.

MOMs Love Local We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite… …coffee spot: Broadway Coffeehouse. It’s also my place to find some peace and get work done.

…place to treat yourself: Envy Lash

Studio never disappoints when I need to look my best for a special occasion. Their lash extension service is beyond perfection.

…restaurant to take the kids: Sushi

Kyo. My kids love the rotating sushi on the colorful plates.

...spot to grab a quick bite: Super Pho …place where the kids can let off steam: Awesome Indoor Playground. My kids love this place.

…any other local places you enjoy:

Love 22 Below, of course! I try not to spoil my kids too often on the treat, but I can’t say no every time we visit.

MOM s Favorite... …family game: We enjoy scrolling

through old photos and watching videos of the kids when they were babies.

…binge-worthy TV: Jane the Virgin, How I Met Your Mother, Friends, Big Bang Theory

…way to get out of making dinner:

Sit in front of the computer and pretend like I have a long to-do list, and then my husband cooks.

mommag.com 15

Name one thing that is part of your daily routine that you just can’t live without. No matter how tired I am, I always start the morning with my face cleaning routine and end the night with the same routine. It’s Saturday afternoon and you suddenly find yourself at home alone for a few hours (we know, it never happens). What do you do? Lay in my bed with lots of snacks and scroll through my phone. What keeps you up at night (apart from kids, of course)? Thinking about work, and my to-do list for the next day. What’s your guilty pleasure? (dark chocolate hidden in the pantry, TJ Maxx, daily latte habit?) A milk tea shake from my ice cream shop. What is your greatest extravagance? My husband recently spoiled me with a Gucci purse for my promotion.

16 mommag.com

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Travel to new places, learn different cultures and taste new cuisines.

Listen to mom. Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most? I never knew what motherhood would be like. What surprised me the most is the amount of patience you need to have as a mom. Especially in the beginning, when you really have to try to think from the child’s point of view and the reasons behind their behaviors and try not to get frustrated. What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom? The best advice I’d received is don’t be too hard on yourself, tomorrow will be another day and they will grow up fine.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? I wish I knew prior to my first child that everything will be okay, and you don’t always have to be perfect. There’s no such thing as perfect parenting, and there’s no one correct way to be a mom. What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is. It may get stressful sometimes, but just reflect back to the memories, and you will know it’s all worth it at the end. If you have a dream you want to chase, don’t let motherhood hold you back. There’s always a way to balance both your dream and your family. And it’s okay to fail sometimes. There’s no perfect way of being a mom, you just learn your way as you go.

[ Momism

#14:

Make good choices.

]

mommag.com 17

Bright futures make us smile

ringing up new talent into dental fields is deeply fulfilling: It allows us to share our success to help others in communities where we live and work, and it strengthens an important health service needed by so many. It’s why we proudly offer two scholarships, one for graduating high school seniors and another for community college students in dental assisting. Lifting others is how we all shine — now that is something to smile about. Castilla Orthodontics $1000 High School Senior Scholarship This annual scholarship is awarded to a graduating high school senior in Marion or Polk County. Each applicant submits a short essay about their goals

Castilla Orthodontics 503-399-0721 justsmile@castillaortho.com 434 Lancaster Drive NE, Salem

18 mommag.com

during college and after graduation, and how they plan to help make the people around them smile on a daily basis. Applications are due April 30. Castilla Orthodontics $1500 Scholarship via the Chemeketa Foundation The Castilla Orthodontics Scholarship encourages and supports female Latina students entering the Dental Assisting program. This $1500 scholarship is through the Chemeketa Community College Foundation, which has more than 150 different scholarships and assistance funds. Visit CastillaOrtho.com/Scholarship for information.

Ana Castilla, DDS, MS is a board-certified, Oregon-based orthodontist. She is passionate about helping patients attain their perfect smile, so they can live their lives to the fullest!

[ Momism

#72: We’ll get there when we get there.

]

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And they use every tool in the battle against cancer. Learn more: salemhealth.org/women

mommag.com 19

RICE Rice, rice babyRICE BABY E

aten around the globe, rice is a staple food that can go from dinner to breakfast, to dessert and nowadays even milk. There’s lots to like about this low-cost fill-’er-upper. Your mind may call up lush, verdant rice terraces of Asia when you think of rice farming, but it’s grown right here in the U.S., too, thriving in California, Louisiana, Texas and other states. According to the US Rice Council, American rice farmers produce 20 billion pounds of rice per year. There are over 120,000 types of rice in the world, with the most common types you find on grocery store shelves being brown, white, jasmine and basmati. We’ll leave the finer points of rice types to the food scientists and rice connoisseurs.

Well that ’s wild Turns out that wild rice isn’t a grain like the others at all: it’s an aquatic grass.

20 mommag.com

The green stuff

If your kids whine about “green stuff on it” skip the green onions in exchange for peace and quiet.

KOREAN beef bowls

This easy, popular recipe has many variations, including swapping out the beef for ground turkey or upping the spice with cayenne. Here’s a kid-friendly version:

INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

¼ cup soy sauce ¼ cup packed brown sugar ¼ teaspoon ground ginger ¼ teaspoon black pepper

In a small mixing bowl, stir together the soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger, pepper and sesame oil. Set aside.

2 teaspoons sesame oil 1 pound lean ground beef 3 garlic cloves, chopped 2 and ½ cups cooked rice Optional: chopped green onions

Brown the ground beef with garlic in a skillet. After it is fully cooked, drain it, then stir in the soy sauce mixture. Remove from heat and serve over cooked rice. Sprinkle green onions over the top, unless your kids whine about “green stuff on it.” In that case, skip this part in exchange for peace and quiet.

Do you need a rice cooker? It depends on how often you’ll use it. One mom we know swears by hers, which has earned a permanent place on her kitchen countertop. Others may find that the one they put on their bridal registry years ago now lingers in that hard-toreach corner of a lower cabinet. Instant Pots, which have grown in popularity for their prowess in speeding up dinner, can easily moonlight as a rice cooker. And there’s always a simple saucepanon-the-stove way. The trick is to adjust the heat so it doesn’t boil over and once that lid is on, do not take it off, no matter how tempting it is to do so.

mommag.com 21

Fat-free does not mean free-for-all Rice is fat-free, cholesterolfree and sugar-free so yee-haw, right? Not so fast. It’s a starch, so it’s high in carbs and low in fiber. Brown rice is a bit lower on the glycemic index than its white counterpart, and it does better in the fiber department.

A serving size of cooked rice for toddlers is about 2 – 5 tablespoons, give or take the child’s unique size. For most adults, one serving is a ½ cup, but we give ourselves a pass on that one-serving business for sushi night. Afterall, sushi chefs train for ten years, and many of those are spent mastering how to make the rice. So if another unagi roll is calling to you, go for it and consider it a way to honor the chef.

SIMPLE RICE & BEANS THAI PEANUT SAUCE over coconut-infused rice INSTRUCTIONS

cup peanut butter, unsweetened

2 2 1 1

tablespoons brown sugar

To make the sauce: whisk together all sauce ingredients except the warm water and salt. Add warm water a tablespoon at a time to get it to a consistency of your liking. Add salt to taste.

cup of fresh-squeezed lime juice

tablespoon rice vinegar tablespoon grated ginger root

3 garlic gloves, pressed 2-4 tablespoons warm water Salt to taste FOR THE RICE:

10 ounce can of coconut milk 1 cup water 1 1

3 cups chicken broth

Bring the chicken broth to a boil and add rice. When the rice is tender and liquid is absorbed, add diced tomatoes. Set aside.

1 and 1/2 cups of rice 1 can diced tomatoes, drained drained and rinsed

1 teaspoon garlic salt Optional: shredded cheddar cheese, avocado slices

To make the rice: Cook the rice as directed, using the coconut milk and water as the liquid for boiling. Add a teaspoon of sugar and salt to your taste. To serve, pour sauce over the cooked rice with some julienned carrots or peppers for color and crunch.

and ½ cups rice teaspoon sugar

Salt to taste

Sources: Infant & Toddler Forum, US Rice Council, Verywell Fit

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INSTRUCTIONS

1 can of pre-cooked black beans,

FOR THE SAUCE:

tablespoons soy sauce

INGREDIENTS

It goes a long way

If you’re looking to extend a dish or lower your meat consumption, add cooked rice to taco meat, chili, meatloaf and other dishes.

Microwave the black beans for 1-2 minutes on high. Stir in garlic salt. Fold the black beans to the rice mixture. Garnish with shredded cheddar cheese and avocado slices.

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Ages & Stages

Why does my 4-year-old only poop in a pull-up?

Why does my teen sleep all day and stay up all night?

Why does my baby only want me? my s e o d Why ear-old 5-y ine? wh

Why doe s my t throw th oddler ings? Why does my 14-year-old not answer my texts?

Why does my 9-year-old suddenly want to sleep in my b ed?

Why d oe year- s my 6old better behave f and te or sitters ach he doe ers than s for m e?

Why does my kid do that?! Ages & Stages

24 mommag.com

Ages & Stages

Meet the experts

Caroline Fisher MD, PhD Child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist who works with the pediatrics team at The Corvallis Clinic

rom the colic to biting, then to back talking and secretkeeping, there isn’t a mom among us who hasn’t asked themselves, what the heck is going through my child’s mind sometimes? Babies and young children have the struggle of language: namely, they have to use other ways to communicate with adults such as crying or flushing your favorite lipstick down the toilet. The range of emotion is there, which must be frustrating to not be able to verbalize it. And whether you’re ready for them or not, the stages keep coming. Kids learn to use their words but it comes with some unsavory parts. You’ve likely been called a name or two, starting with poopy head and escalating from there.

Whitney Horsley, MD General pediatrician at Mid-Valley Children’s Clinic with Samaritan Health Services in Albany

Sheena Johnson Founder & owner of Eugene Nanny Services

Aoife Rose Magee, PhD Director of the Parenting Success Network through Linn-Benton Community College

Teens and tweens deserve a category unto themselves; apparently they enjoy arguing with their parents. It also seems to happen just when you settle in to watch Bridgerton on your tablet. What are MOMs to do? We turn to the experts for advice.

Why does my baby only want me?

Why does my toddler throw things? Toddlers tend to have big emotions — happy and giggly one moment, then angry and crying the next. They are exploring their independence but don’t yet know how to stay safe or know all the rules of our world. You can help them by setting clear limits and rules then teaching them and reminding them in a calm, firm voice: “We don’t throw things in the house.” Then redirect them to an activity they can do indoors or offer to take them outside to throw a ball. Then if the behavior happens again or continues, remind them of the rule and have a natural consequence. The child threw the book again — that book goes on top of the shelf and the child can’t read it for the next two days. The child threw the toy car again — that toy goes in the parents’ room for the next three days and the child doesn’t get to play with it. Time outs are okay as well when their emotions overwhelm the child; you may have to sit with them for the time out when they are younger. Lastly, the key is consistency: any time they throw something inside (if that’s your rule) then that object goes away and they are reminded not to throw. Every time. — Whitney Horsley, MD

Why does my 4-year-old only poop in a pull-up?

After a few months of age, babies often show a preference for a primary caregiver. This person is the one that they are forming a strong bond with and feel the most secure. The baby may become distressed by strangers and have a harder time interacting with less familiar people. Allowing the baby to get acquainted slowly and from the safety of your arms can help them warm up to other people.

Completing toilet training can be a huge task and one that is important to get a child ready for entering school. Children are sometimes reluctant to poop on the toilet for a couple reasons. They could have some constipation — it’s very common and people can be constipated while still pooping every day. If your child’s poops are large or very small (like pebbles) or they have pain with pooping — talk to their health care provider about constipation. If you’re not concerned about constipation, then think about ways to help motivate your child to poop on the toilet instead.

— Aoife Rose Magee, PhD

continued on next page

mommag.com 25

Ages & Stages

They may just not want to take time away Why baby from playingdoes to go tomy the toilet. Start by establishing a routine to have the child sit on only want me? the toilet after every meal. Reward this behavior with a sticker on a chart that you keep in the bathroom. First give the sticker for sitting on the toilet after a meal when you remind them, then later give the sticker for when they go to sit on the toilet without being reminded. They don’t have to poop when they sit on the toilet after meals but they should sit for at least 3 to 5 minutes to see if their body will allow them to poop. Try to avoid using screen time while on the toilet but reading a book or listening to music is okay. Remember to praise the child if they tell you they need to poop before they do so in the pull up — you don’t have to make a huge deal but say something like “Thank you for telling me, that was very grown up of you.”

Why does my 6year-old behave better for sitters and teachers than he does for me?

— Whitney Horsley, MD

Why does my 5-year-old whine? Children may become overwhelmed emotionally by situations and events. Whining may happen if a child is beyond their emotional or physical coping limits, especially when they are hungry or tired. Whining is a sure sign that the child is stressed and is in need of comfort from their caregiver. Taking time to offer positive attention and grabbing a snack may help the child feel better. — Aoife Rose Magee, PhD

Kids feel safe with their parents and can show all their emotions. Nannies, like teachers, hold an authoritative role for which children want to please and/or behave. It’s a good thing that your child can regulate their feelings with others and yet show their true selves with you as their parents.

Why does my 9-yearold suddenly want to sleep in my bed?

— Sheena Johnson, Eugene Nanny Services There are a variety of reasons children want to sleep in their parents’ bed. A good place to start is to talk with the child and ask if they know why they’ve started wanting this. They may say something like nightmares, fear of the dark or monsters under their bed. These are all normal childhood fears, and you can try to address them with things like a night light, checking the bed and closet at bedtime, or making “monster spray” (water and some essential oil that smells nice in a spray bottle) for them to spray around their room before bedtime. If they can’t tell you why, that’s okay too. You can try using a reward system: if they stay in their bed all night, they get a reward — a special mug of hot chocolate with a parent in the morning or a trip to their favorite park after school that day. This way it’s rewarding the good behavior. If they come into your bed at night you can move them back to their bed and just not have the reward in the morning. Lastly, if these don’t work and they seem scared or anxious when you are separated at other times (school, running errands, etc.) you can consider counseling for something called separation anxiety. You can ask their health care provider for a list of counselors or for other ideas. — Whitney Horsley, MD

26 mommag.com

Ages & Stages

Why does my 14-year-old not answer my texts?

Why does my 12-year-old say I hate you? Kids say “I hate you,” but they actually still (and will always) love you. They say it when they are really, really angry, because they know it hurts. Right then, they hurt more than they can handle hurting. They just hate how angry they are, and if you were the person who made them that way, it comes out as “I hate you.” Don’t take it personally, just pretend that what they said was “I am really, really angry.” Then ask them what they are so angry about. Don’t assume you know: whatever just happened — you took their phone away, they can’t go to a party — is probably not actually the cause. Put on your listening ears and find out. Yes, it could be ridiculous, but maybe it’s not, and it’s certainly not to them. Then, when they know you truly understand and have stopped feeling so angry, tell them how much hearing “I hate you!” hurts your feelings. — Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

Why does my teen sleep all day and stay up all night? Circadian rhythm describes how your body regulates sleep time and awake time. While the rotation of the earth says a day is 24 hours long, the adolescent circadian rhythm is 24 and a half hours long: in short, teenagers are living a 24-and-a-half-hour day. So, every “earth” day, they want to go to bed half an hour later and also wake up a half hour later. School often provides a fixed wake up time which can help keep them on track, but in this time of quarantine, many kids have been able to shift their sleep habits to better fit their internal rhythm. Unfortunately, it doesn’t necessarily match the internal rhythm of the rest of the family. As we age, our circadian rhythm shortens, which is why you might find grandma in bed just after dinner. — Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

Teens don’t answer texts when they are busy. Lots of them complain that their parents text in the middle of the school day when they would get their phone taken away (and scolded by their parents) for texting in class. There is more to a teen’s life than class, and your text may not be their highest priority when they are on the phone, playing video games, eating lunch, talking to their latest crush, exercising or trying to focus on something. Allow them that dignity unless it’s an actual emergency. Also, remember how many times you look at a text and decide that the situation you are dealing with is more important than answering right now, then forget to respond later when you have time. If you have a chronic non-answerer, they may not actually carry their phone with them or they may feel you are being intrusive. Texting, by its very nature is intrusive: it’s kind of a “Drop everything and pay attention to me!” If you are using it as a way of remote nagging, being clingy, or using them to find out information you can easily look up yourself, you are telling them that their time and needs are not important. They will naturally let you know they disagree! — Caroline Fisher MD, PhD

mommag.com 27

on the road

Trick my ride The new 2021 Toyota Sienna is a dream rig, and not just for families but for life in general, whether you’re commuting or camping.

HEN YOU’RE CHOOSING options and accessories, there are, of course, the practical needs. But then there are fun options you didn’t even know you wanted until now. Let’s explore... Practical to have All-weather floor liners We live in Oregon, so you’ll need good, waterproof floor liners. And get the door sill protectors too, because of dogs, kids and humans. Cargo organizer Sure, there are plenty of after-market grocery and storage options for vehicles, but they never quite fit right. The cargo organizer made by the manufacturer fits like a glove, easily and securely behind the third-row seats. And no crying over spilled milk: it’s removable for easy cleaning. Parking assistance Strangers on the street can go ahead and gawk. This feature uses radar, sonar and what seems like magic to practically parallel park itself. Hands-free entry Sometimes you don’t know you need something until you get it, and it changes your life for the better. For instance, 28 mommag.com

hands-free power sliding doors. When you have a heavy baby in one arm and a drooping diaper bag in the other, the last thing you want to do is go fishing for keys. Instead, you use your foot: with just a little kicking motion, voila, the doors open!

drive, or on impact whether moving or while parked. Playback or video download is available via the smartphone app or PC tool once downloaded, and you can share these videos on your social media channels.

...And just plain fun to have

Take your slow cooker on a drive Wait, what? Yep: you can get a 1500-watt power outlet to plug in whatever it is you need. Tailgating chili never tasted better.

Wifi is life: all the cool techie stuff You can easily connect to the internet with the Sienna’s in-vehicle Wifi hot spot. There are also seven — SEVEN! — USB ports for all the devices. And you can get the media version of triple A: Alexa, Apple and Android features so you can listen to your favorite podcast, get directions, send messages and more. WHAT DID YOU SAY? This is revolutionary for talking to kids in the back without yelling. With a touchscreen-controlled microphone, everyone can hear you just fine. Go ahead and sing those lyrics to the Drivers License song and make your teen squirm. Look out, Tik Tok The Integrated Toyota Dashcam is designed to reliably capture video, images, sound and location data while you operate your vehicle. It begins recording upon ignition to capture the

Brought to you by:

MEET LAURA AUGUSTINE Laura Augustine has worked as a finance assistant at Capitol Auto Group for 7 years. She is the proud mom of three kids (four, if you count her husband Chad): Ariel, age 23; Claudia, age 22; and Bryson, age 18. As a family, they love to go fishing and boating at Detroit Lake, and they also have four Saint Bernard Dogs: Grace, Ted, Jerry and Stuart.

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HOME

DECOR WHAT’S 2021 & WHAT’S GOING BAH-BYE

OW DON’T COME AT US for simply reporting the trends. Time moves forward, and so does home decor. Apparently these three big trends have been played out:

Credit: Lilse McKenna

SHIPLAP

BARN DOORS ANYWHERE EXCEPT A BARN

WHAT’S IN... GRANNY CHIC AKA, GRANDMILLINEAL

GREIGE PAINT ON EVERYTHING

Holy Joanna Gaines, say it isn’t so...alas, it is. Shiplap has had a great run; we’ll catch up with it again in 2050. As for barn doors, we’re betting the practical use of their sliding mechanism will stick around in some shape or form. And no need to panic if you’ve gone too greige: bring in an accent wall color, or try one of these new on-trend items.

30 mommag.com

Credit: Sarah Dorio

What’s chintz and floral and slams the door on sleek modernism? It’s been dubbed “grandmillennial style,” and it’s growing in popularity. Think patterns, thrifted items, skirted chairs, tassels and trim. Now you’re wishing you accepted your granny’s offer of that glass bowl collection. Even if it’s not for you, you can’t help but like a cheeky needlepoint, like this one from Etsy.

EARTHY VIBES Rattan, jute and wicker, oh my: from chairs to hanging light fixtures, these materials are widely available from retailers lately, like this light fixture from IKEA. Bring in plants at a level to rival a jungle and your earthy vibe will check.

THE 90S ARE BACKSTREET BACK

Credit: Ikea.com

PEEL AND STICK WALLPAPER, AND WE ARE HERE FOR IT. Wallpaper is difficult to put up (and sometimes to take it down, too). Peel and stick versions allow for easier installation, especially when it’s off just a smidge and you need to take it off and start over. Perfect for a nursery, so you can swap it out as your child grows.

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Brass fixtures have already been on the scene. Now entering the AOL chat room: geometric prints. It’s on chairs, pillows and rugs. The really ambitious can try using paint and tape to trick out a wall.

BIDETS ARE ALL THE RAGE Technically this isn’t decor, but we think it’s a trend you can get behind. A mom we know swears by an add-on version, like this one from Amazon. Saves TP and perhaps many postpartum squirt bottles.

If you or your child has been diagnosed with scoliosis, there is help. Scoliosis Studio offers non-surgical, Schroth Method physical therapy to improve symmetry, posture and pain-relief. The most important time for intervention — when scoliosis is shown to progress — is adolescence. We also help women during pregnancy and menopause, as well as men and women with age-related degeneration.

Bailey Denno, PT, DPT Doctor of Physical Therapy Schroth-BSPTS C2 Certified Scoliosis Practitioner

Credit: Amazon

Scoliosis Studio is a direct pay PT clinic, we do not bill insurance.

I am a specialized physical therapist certified in and focused on the treatment of people of all ages with scoliosis, hyperkyphosis and hyperlordosis. I also treat people both before and after surgery.

mommag.com 31

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