AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD
In the month of love, try the five love languages on your neighbors Remember the 1998 self-help book called “The Five Love Languages?” Author Gary Chapman outlined five ways to show love to your partner. Well, I figured these five pieces of advice could be expanded a bit, so I took some liberties. Consider these five love languages for thy neighbor.
BECCA SCHMIDT BALDWIN PARK LIFESTYLE DIRECTOR Lifestyle Director Becca Schmidt has lived in Baldwin Park since 2005 and has the pulse on neighborhood social gatherings. Check out the Groups and Gatherings section of baldwinpark.net for a list of Baldwin Parkbased groups. Contact Becca at lifestyledirector@baldwinparkpoa. com if you’d like to start a new group or have questions about how you can meet your neighbors.
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WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
Chapman writes about keeping the love tank full. The love tank, of course, is an individual thing, but one common ingredient in everyone’s tank is the words we choose to use. Years ago, my coworker reminded fellow staff members (many times a day!) to “never say hate.” If someone in the office said, “I hate Monday morning meetings,” he’d pipe in, “Never say hate.” Yes, it was annoying sometimes, but you know what? It sank in, and now that word is rarely in my vocabulary. It feels good not only to avoid using the word hate but also to be conscious about the feeling itself! The word “hate” carries negative energy. It brings
BALDWIN PARK LIVING | FEBRUARY 2020
the room down. Imagine if, instead of saying to your neighbor, “I hate chinch bugs,” try, “Those chinch bugs can sure eat. … I’m going to get them under control.” See how much more positive and powerful that is?
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QUALITY TIME. When we conducted our residential survey last year, Baldwin Park residents were asked how they meet their neighbors. Believe it or not, one of the popular responses was … at the mailbox! When you’re collecting your mail next to your neighbor, create an opportunity (quality time) to engage in a conversation. “How was your weekend?” “We just saw the new Star Wars movie and loved it! Have you seen it?” “I smell something delicious cooking, is that coming from your house?” Just this extra time at the mailbox may open the door to make a lifelong friend!
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RECEIVING GIFTS. There
are limitless ways of sharing thoughtful gifts with the people in your neighborhood! If you’re in a book club or going to a person’s house for the first time, bring a bag of coffee or small bunch of flowers in a mason
jar. Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to bake heart-shaped cookies for everyone on your street!
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ACTS OF SERVICE. I love this one. Service has a powerful snowball effect. This month, set a goal of doing 10 simple acts of service a day! Toss the newspaper up onto your neighbor’s porch, pick up litter, open the door for the person going into the gym with you (and while you’re at the gym, wipe down your treadmill!), clip diaper coupons for new parents, bring a funny cartoon to your hairdresser or dentist. Help your fitness teacher put away workout equipment. Of course, you can move on to bigger acts such as buying a meal for the family at the table next to you in a restaurant, donating clothes and food or volunteering at one of our neighborhood schools or library bookstore. Provide a cup of coffee for each of the guys mowing your lawn. And, dare I say: If you have a truck, say yes to hauling a queen-sized bed for a friend! (We used to be that truck family!)
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PHYSICAL TOUCH. Have
you ever met a person who, when you reach out to shake their hand, says, “I don’t shake hands, I’m a hugger!” The act of hugging releases oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” A hug builds trust and a sense of safety. It lowers anxiety levels and healing for someone who is hurting. Plain and simple, a hug feels good. There is a quote from family therapist Virginia Satir who says, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth.” Go hug someone. And happy Valentine’s Day!
