Beyond Limitations: Tonnoma’s Hope | 9
Once back home, Tonnoma calmed down and went about her usual activities. Later that evening, she said to herself that she would get more information the following day. She decided to go to the well early next morning. At the appointed hour, she joined a small group of women who were waiting to draw water. Among them was her sister-in-law Poko,38 the third and youngest wife of her husband’s older brother. After greeting her, Poko went back to her conversation with three other women: “I was allocated to a group working 2 kilometers from the village. Yes, it’s a bit far, but I wanted this work so badly.” Tonnoma interrupted her sister-in-law: “Are you talking about Tibo?” The four women looked at her in surprise and then burst out laughing. “We’re talking about who? Tibo?” “Who’s that? Of course not!” “Tonnoma, you mean THIMO?” “Really? It’s THIMO?” she said, now also laughing. Poko went back to what she was saying. That’s how Tonnoma learned that her sister-in-law had previously been selected to work somewhere 2 kilometers away from the village. She went every weekday, but not on Saturdays and Sundays. Poko’s two older cowives had not been able to apply. In her family, household chores were distributed in turn between each wife for fairness and to avoid misunderstandings. Since she worked from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m., Poko undertook all of her domestic responsibilities in the early afternoon and evening. Tonnoma found this idea very interesting and gave a smile of approval: “Fantastic! On top of that, you’re lucky to have the other two wives to look after the chilA wife’s place in society dren and do the housework!” “A husband must be told about all of his wife’s “It’s not as simple as that, my dear Tonnoma,” said actions and help her make informed and suitable Poko, shaking her head. “You know I can’t make any choices. He’s responsible for his wife and for decision if my two elders haven’t agreed to it first.” everything that happens in the household. He Tradition requires everyone to respect their elders. directs and dictates all of his wife’s actions. The Poko was the third wife and the youngest among them. household’s organization and operation rest on the She had to get permission from her husband to work, husband’s decisions, and the wife carries out his as he was the head of the family, and the final decision 39 commands” (individual inter views with male was his. Tonnoma had already noticed that her brigade members EP5, EP7, and EP9). brother-in-law asked Poko to do certain tasks more “The wife has no autonomy in decision-making in often, probably because she was young. Cowives often the household or the community. She needs her talked about favoritism and discrimination. husband’s approval to travel, see to the children’s “Go on,” said one of the women, apparently fascihealth, have their birth certificates drawn up, take care nated by the story. of their schooling, visit a relative, work, or take on “Well,” continued Poko. “At our house, the only paying work as well as pay for food” (individual morning activity is giving the family their breakfast. interview with female brigade member EJ5). Housework is done mainly in the evening. Since I’ve been married, I’ve always helped my cowives to fetch water, wash the dishes, and pound the condiments for cooking … but I haven’t been able to negotiate any other work with them other than the housework.” “And your husband said nothing?” said another woman who had been following the conversation from a distance as she waited to fill her water vessel. “My husband followed the whole conversation that day, but he didn’t say anything.”
