A Legacy of Beauty

My sister, Sonja Regena, me (age 10) and Mom at a family reunion.

By Amila Rolita

As a blogger, I write articles that shine a spotlight on women trailblazers for Christ. I interview them by fi rst asking a few core questions about beauty. Why? Because I know that many young girls and women struggle with both self-respect and self-love.¹ (Unilever’s Dove did 2 studies that support this.) Believe it or not, those are major barriers that prevent them from exceling. I’ve learned and understand that when a woman looks good, she feels good and gains added confi dence to excel.

As I see women trailblazers making strides (especially for Christ) I’m often intrigued and want to hear the backstory of how they got to where they are. However, I thought it’s only fair that I also give my readers insight about my life. Let’s start by discussing how my childhood environment laid the foundation for my view on what is beauty.

My mother was a licensed cosmetologist and she concentrated on hair care. The reason I say this is because a lot of people may not know that while in school, student cosmetologists are also taught the basics in other areas. They’re taught basic skin care, make-up artistry and nail care. But like a doctor who may specialize in a certain fi eld of medicine, a cosmetologist can take extra training to specialize in an area like aesthetics for skin care or hair coloring as a colorist.

My sister and I saw our mother do others’ hair, but we also saw her take care of herself. We saw her take care of her hair and groom herself. That grooming involved tweezing her eyebrows, under arm and leg hair removal, manicures and pedicures. Seeing her groom herself became the standard for my sister and me. We adopted the practice of grooming ourselves because we watched our mother do it. I had many trials and errors learning how to cut and style my hair. My goodness! It was so funny – disastrous even – when I was in high school, the things I did to my hair. I experimented with hair color and everything. I was also excited to tweeze my eyebrows for the fi rst time. But, boy did it hurt!

When I was a little girl, sometimes my mother would have me put a very thick medical dictionary on top of my head. That thing felt like it weighed a ton. Then, I had to walk from one end of the living room or kitchen to the other. When I reached the other end, I had to carefully turn around and come back. The point was for me to walk keeping the book straight. When I’d turn to come back, I had to do it carefully without the book falling off my head. That was my mother’s way to teach me how to walk gracefully and to improve my posture.

Back then I was tomboyish. I liked hanging out and competing with the boys on my block. We would race, climb on top of garages, play softball and volleyball. We played so many games. I had so much fun hanging out with them. So, when my mom had me walking with a book on my head I thought, “What the heck? Why do I have to do this?” It wasn’t until I hit puberty and started to mature, that I began to appreciate the times that my mother taught me those things. She was and remains my foundation of beauty-care (self-care). Little did I know that I would grow to have an interest in and study cosmetology, as well as, aesthetics.

Nevertheless, my mother also taught me many principles about beauty. One that stands out to me is “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Everyone has their viewpoint of what beauty looks like to them. What looks beautiful to one person may not look beautiful to someone else. Basically, that’s what that saying means. I’m so grateful

for the things that my mother taught me about beauty.

My sister and I were not raised in an environment where we were compared to one another. We were not allowed to fi ght or bicker and especially about what one of us had and the other one didn’t. We were not allowed to be competitive or combative.

It wasn’t until I was about fi ve- or sixyears young that I began to experience a competitive environment among girls. I was in the fi rst grade. There were a handful of girls who would compare the length of their hair with the other girls.

With her sassiness, the ringleader would say to someone, “Let me see who has the longest hair. Take down your hair and let’s see how long your hair really is.”

Then a couple of the other girls would chime in, “Yeah!” The poor victim would say, “Well, my hair isn’t really this short when I let it down.”

On another occasion, those girls would compare the texture of one another’s hair. That meant they would look at whose hair was wavy, curly or kinky curly. They’d gaze across the classroom to fi nd a victim and say, “Her hair is pretty.” That sounds like a compliment until the ringleader would question her, “Is that your reeeaaal hair?”

In that environment I was uncomfortable because my sister and I didn’t do that to one another. So, I didn’t know how to deal with that at my age. I saw how cruel some girls could be towards one another. The jealousy, contention and strife were unbearable for me. I began to distant myself from them. Refl ecting on it, I’m sure that’s why I started to play with little boys more than I did with girls.

REVEALING THE ILLUSION

It is nice to look at people and appreciate their appearances. People like people they are attracted to. We like people who are pleasing to our eyes. Unfortunately, sometimes we can put unrealistic standards of beauty upon one another.

That reminds me of when I was working part-time in an advertising agency while I was in college. With all the different campaigns we worked on, one still stands out to me. Honestly, I don’t remember the product. I do, however, remember the poster of a lady’s face with her chin resting on her elegantly positioned hand. The picture itself was set in grayscale (primarily gray in color). The only thing that was in color was her lips. She had on ruby red lipstick, and the color popped from the picture. Even still, her face looked creamy and fl awless.

A few copies of that poster hung throughout the agency. There were many times I’d stare in awe at how beautiful she looked. Her lips were perfectly shaped within the lipstick.

One day I went into one of the artist’s offi ce to discuss something for work. He was an artist who had worked on that campaign. I saw one of the posters on the fl oor leaning against the wall.

“That is a beautiful picture!” I exclaimed as I pointed to it.

He picked the poster up and curiously asked me, “So you really like this picture?”

I said emphatically, “Yes.”

He replied, “Let me show you something.”

He reached down on the side of his desk and pulled out another poster. It was the fi rst proof of the same lady’s face. He said, “This is what that picture looks like before we airbrushed it.” That was my introduction to airbrushing. He explained that there is much work that goes into making a picture look fl awless. On that fi rst proof, I could see the model’s nose hair, facial hair, fi ne lines, wrinkles and every blemish on her face that was visible to my eyes.

He continued, “We airbrush the photograph so that it looks like this when we are done. We remove every imperfection – every fl aw – to make this picture look perfect.” I was outdone.

At that time, airbrushing photographs was not widely known outside of the advertising industry. Now with modern technology, we use forms of editing that came from airbrushing. Photo editing is done by using computers, phones and apps. Today there are many ways to alter a picture. Not only can a nose be altered, but a face can be slenderized. A waist can be cinched.

That day I learned in the advertising industry they do what they need to do to a picture to give the illusion that it is perfection. But there is no perfect person. There is no perfect face or body.

In this era, that is what young girls – and even women – must contend with more than before. That is the standard that advertising, fashion and entertainment industries have set. Young girls and women feel the pressure to compete with that illusion. It reaches not only our local communities, but across our nation and internationally with the world-wide web and its far-reaching span.

TURNING THE TIDE

“Beauty is only skin deep” is a popular saying that explains society’s belief. It certainly confi rms their standard. God, the Creator of mankind, teaches that beauty is deeper than the layers of our skin.

As a young adult, I began to really understand the awesome sacrifi ce God made in offering up Christ for my sins. I accepted the gift of Christ and invited Him into my heart and life. Afterwards, God told me to make Him my example. So, as I studied God’s Word, I learned about Christ’s character. I began to practice those principles and I began to change on the inside. That is how I learned about the true beauty that shines from the character of the heart. It is the essence – the nature – that is Christ. That is the beauty God is looking for. That is the beauty that He wants radiating in all that we do.

It is my pleasure to shine the spotlight on women who radiate the inner beauty of Christ in their daily lives. Some of these women are nurses, event planners, life coaches, doctors, fashion designers, actresses, as well as, radio personalities. Whatever their careers, these women have set a goal to allow Christ to shine in their daily lives. They make a difference in their families, communities and the world at large. With society’s overwhelming focus on beauty, body image and sexuality, we need positive examples of change agents. It is my hope that young girls and women will be inspired to not only look their personal best, but to be and to do their personal best. ♥

© Copyright by Amila Rolita Adams All worldwide rights reserved.

¹Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited © 2014 UNILEVER

Amila Rolita is a Christian blogger, speaker, podcast host and author of Probing the Woman’s Curse Revisited. She currently lives in Nashville, TN.

COVID-19 First Responders:

Recognizing Our Front-Line Soldiers

By Amila Rolita

The United States of America is no stranger to and Mrs. Davis for acknowledging the healthcare workers adversity, catastrophe and enemies. However, it’s and specifi cally the nurses who are in it. Because it’s the been nearly 20 years, since America has faced an nurses that spend 12+ hours a day in the petri dish. So, enemy that we’ve had to declare war. The last time thank you for that and for acknowledging all healthcare was as a result of the horrifi c September 11, 2001 attacks on workers who are involved and affected by what’s going the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. The group of terrorists on with this crisis in our nation.” responsible were known and boldly took responsibility for I asked Jackson was there anything that society could the heinous attacks. Many may still remember do that would help more. She replied, “There the fi rst time seeing the airplanes plow into are a couple of burning issues. One is that the buildings. We will also never forget it’s so important for us to pursue facts. the fi rst responders that jumped into You don’t have to be a specialist or action saving as many lives as they research agent to know how to could at the expense of their own. do that. One simple way that

America’s present-day enemy we can decreased the rumors is the coronavirus disease 2019 so that people don’t get (COVID-19). It is mostly known injured or try home remedies by the name “coronavirus.” and hurt themselves further, This enemy is unseen by the is to just not spread or share naked eye, and it is traced information until you’ve only after it has infi ltrated its gone to the World Health victims. In less than 6 months, Organization or the CDC it has been spreading across website just to check for countries so fast that America has validity of some of the things declared this wartime. The Center out there. That would help.” for Disease Control and Prevention She continued passionately, (CDC) has asked us to take steps to “And another thing is if we can stay protect ourselves from being infected like home, if we don’t have to go out that wash our hands for 20 seconds, self-quarantine would really help healthcare workers to go and practice social distance up to 6 feet. While we do home. Some of the things that haven’t made it to the our part to help stop the spread of the virus, fortunately media – there are healthcare workers sleeping in their we have fi rst responders in action to care for those who garages away from their families because they are either become victim to it. To all our front-line soldiers, we are potentially contaminated or because they have taken extremely grateful. care of someone we know have tested positive. And now

The front-line soldiers which are primarily in the they have to stay away from their families for 14 days.” healthcare industry are working diligently to keep us safe After reading coverage about the healthcare workers’ and well. They go to work in the public, while we are struggles in fi ghting COVID-19, Jackson wanted to set the told to self-quarantine. They knowingly breach the 6 feet record straight about anyone’s misunderstanding about social distancing rule, in order to service and care for the why nurses are in the fi ght. She expressed, “Soldiers sign up victims. Often, they must make a choice to provide care to go to the military knowing the possibility of war exists. But for infected patients even when they are not provided the they’re never sent to the front lines without ammunition, personal protective equipment (PPE) for their safety. rifl es, guns and military equipment. Right? So, to say

Recently, Shawny Jackson, RN MSN, CNEL who is a busy that healthcare workers have signed up for this. We did clinical nurse manager located in Georgia and co-author not. What we signed up for is to deliver compassionate of Ēvolvere: Dust to Gold, made time to speak with me care to anyone who needs it from us. Top notch quality about how the nurses are affected during this pandemic. care to individuals that we come in contact within the Jackson began, “First, I would like to start by thanking you healthcare setting with proper equipment. That’s the key.

So, if we have to go on the front lines, we shouldn’t be out there without helmets, boots and guns. Right? So, if you will allow me to give that as an example because some people are visual people. And so, when you put it in perspective like that, we don’t have the defense mechanisms or equipment that we need to defend ourselves properly. That is something that is food for thought for people who think that this is something that we signed up for. But we are still going above and beyond. People are still giving 100% of themselves knowing the risk. So, that’s the part that we signed up for is to dedicate ourselves to high quality care. Compassionate care. And how people can help us is by staying at home. And the reason that’s important is because we need to fl atten the curve. The curve has not fl attened. Our cases have increased signifi cantly. …We are converting units. Every hospital is converting units to become COVID units to handle these patients.

“We’re bringing retired healthcare workers back into the fi eld. That should tell the severity of what’s going on. People that have been retired fi ve years or less have returned to the healthcare setting: physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners and nurses alike all have joined. And there were thousands when I looked at the numbers last week. Thousands have returned to the healthcare fi eld – to the workforce. Can you imagine retiring and having to come back to duty for this? For such a time as this. Yes! But God has graced us with people who can’t sit on the sidelines and not get in to help knowing the risk. So, what we need is for the general public to help us fl atten the curve. Flatten the curve by staying away from people. Social distancing is very important and then we can see the curve start to fl atten.”

Jackson enlightened me that healthcare workers work a 12-hour shift. While they were working three shifts in a row, people were out buying all the toilet paper. Some of the workers were getting off at 9 pm or 10 pm and heading back to work at 5 am. A lot of them didn’t get to buy the essential items, toilet paper and paper towels.

During this time, Jackson understands that nurses and doctors are getting a lot of recognition. However, she admits that somebody who is so under acknowledged are their partners. These are the patient care technicians (PCT also known as CNAs). She fervently acknowledges that they wouldn’t be able to do their jobs without the PCT partners who are truly at the front of this as well. She explains, “They have to go in and help with baths. That is social contact. That is what we call activities of daily living. That includes your bathing and eating. We can’t just go, ‘Oh, they’re COVID-19’, leave them in the room and let them stay in the bed all day. The nurse will go in to assist the CNA. In a lot of cases, it is the two of them together. But a lot of times, it is the CNAs by themselves especially if the nurse is in another room with a patient. So, they are equally in front of this. The nurse may have multiple entries into the room, but that care partner may have the longest entry.”

What Jackson echoes from the CDC about taking steps to protect ourselves seems simple, but is very important. That is because while hand washing and social distancing protects us, it also protects the healthcare workers. The same healthcare professionals once away from the healthcare setting and the PPE that protects them, are exposed in the general public. We must do our best to protect ourselves so, we can cover and protect them. That is one of the best forms of recognition and gratitude we can extend to our frontline soldiers in this war.

For information about Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) visit Center for Disease Control and Prevention, www.cdc.gov

Amila Rolita is a blogger, speaker and author of Reversing the Woman’s Curse (formerly Probing the Woman’s Curse).