Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine October 2018

THE MAGAZINE

October 2018 - Issue 18

Celebrates Survivors

Breast Cancer Hall of Fame Page 29

COVER STORIES Peggi Rafferty & Chandra Swan Page 5 and 10 HIGHTLIGHT Yolanda Evans Turner Page 14 Breaking Up With Fear Page 18 Resting in Him Page 22 SPOTLIGHT Bridget Morgan Page 23

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •3

CEO, Publisher & Editor Joanne Bell Consulting Editor Celia Williams Cover Photo Phillip Washington Background Photo: Michael/ Adobe Stock Contributing Writers Dr. Talya Straughter Tonja Murphy Layout Design Michelle Zischke Facebook Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine Subscribe!

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Joanne’s

Desk

BY JOANNE BELL, FOUNDER

O

ctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month as well as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To honor the women who have either fought these battles and won or who fought with all they had and won their heavenly crown, we dedicate this issue to you.

This month we share the stories of amazing women who have endured the most unimaginable abuse and women who have been on a breast cancer journey and are willing to share with you their triumphs and victories with one goal in mind, to empower you beyond your circumstances.

Statistics say, one in eight women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in their lifetime. Each year it is estimated that over 252,710 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,500 will die. We must be proactive and take the preventive steps to get your mammograms yearly.

If you have a family history, start early

and do self-examinations at home. We as women know our bodies and we know when something is not right. We have to choose to take care of ourselves first so that we can take care of the people we love.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other person.

Whether you are married or not, living together, separated or dating, anyone can be a victim. Know the signs and get out as quickly as you can. Examples of abuse are: name-calling, keeping you from contacting your family, intimidation, stalking or threatening physical harm. Know the warning signs and get out as quickly as possible.

I pray that this issue inspires you and encourages to fight for your life no matter how hard it gets, no matter what comes your way, let the words of the testimonies of these women empower you and encourage you past any circumstance.

In This Issue

Love ya much!

Joanne

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Cover Story: Chandra Swan.........................................................................5-7 Jerri’s Journey To New Lungs...........................................................................9 Cover Story: Peggi Rafferty......................................................................10-12 Highlight: Yolanda Evans Turner...........................................................14-16 Dr. Straughter: Breaking Up With Fear.............................................18-19 Tonja Murphy: Resting in Him......................................................................22 Spotlight: Bridget Morgan.........................................................................23-26 Breast Cancer Hall of Fame......................................................................29-36 New Divorce Law...............................................................................................38-39 Upcoming Events for 2018................................................................................41

4 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

COVER STORY Chandra Swan

Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine had the absolute pleasure to sit down and talk with the talented Coach Chandra Swan.

She is the girls’ basketball coach at Germantown Middle School in Madison, Mississippi and she also teaches. We are so excited to have the opportunity to share a part of her story with you.

Chandra Swan was born in Jackson, Mississippi, but moved to Madison, Mississippi with her parents when she was in the 3rd grade. With her mother being a teacher in the Jackson Public School System, she and her brother wanted to stay in the schools with their friends where they started. Her mother taught for 36 years before retiring.

Here is her story:

G

rowing up in Mississippi has been a good experience. It’s very eye opening when you travel, the things that you see and how people perceive us. Some things I can agree with that we are a little behind on, but there are a lot of things that we’re up to date on that they don’t realize.

We had family members who were born up North because their parents

or grandparents had moved there, who came to the family reunions, and thought we were still picking cotton and using outhouses. When they saw that we have Starbucks and strip malls, it was shocking to them.

But it’s been a great upbringing for me. I learned the value of hard work because my parents and grandparents

instilled those values in me. I know how to get out on the farm and pick vegetables. I know how to maneuver around the kitchen and I can clean up very well. Of course, those are daily things that everybody does, but I think in the South there is a rich history for those things, especially in Mississippi.

We have our churches and we’re rooted in our faith here in the Bible WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •5

Belt. My upbringing has helped in a lot of ways. My faith is strong and the family base is strong here in Mississippi.

We believe in family closeness and oneness, even if we are 25 miles away, we take care of family.

on the court with the kids, and being able to encourage them and show them where they needed to be on the court sparked it for me.

and I read it the entire time I was going through this process. God allowed the devil to take everything from Job except his life, but Job kept his faith.

You have to really dig deep because when it gets tough, it’s easy to get side tracked and give up. You have to learn to fight.

In college, I was an Accounting and Economics Major, but I wasn’t happy.

Growing up in Mississippi has been a My Junior year, I changed my major great experience. I do enjoy traveling, because I knew I couldn’t see myself seeing and experiencing other cultures sitting behind a desk doing an eight to This journey allowed me to slow down. and other places, but there’s no place five. I had to be up moving and I liked I didn’t realize how much I had going like home and Mississippi is home. working with kids. I liked teaching and on, how much I had missed, and how I liked basketball, but I was trying to much life was passing me by. This Tell me how you got into basketball escape teaching. One of my professors journey caused my life to come to a and coaching. What told me, the only way I screeching halt. It gave me time to We believe in family made you want to would be able to coach, step back and re-evaluate my life and closeness and coach?

I would have to teach as get some things in order, and I realized oneness, even if we well. I was running from it it was time to take care of me. When are 25 miles away, we but he told me I needed Sports started for me you put yourself, your family and your take care of family. with my brother. He to do both. health on the back burner, a test like would make me play with him. Most this helps you realize that it’s time times I didn’t want to play with him but From there, I did some volunteer to bring it all back front and center. he would make me catch the ball, and coaching at Northwest Middle School I didn’t look at it as a curse or a bad after you get hit in the face a couple in Jackson, MS. My first teaching job thing. I saw it as a humbling experience. times, you learn how to catch. After I once I graduated was at Chastain I needed it. It has definitely pushed me learned how to catch, he would make Middle School in Jackson, MS. During deeper to stay positive and focused, to me dribble, then he would steal the the interview, I told the person stay wrapped and rooted in the Word. ball. I would go in the house crying interviewing me that I wanted to coach because he wouldn’t let me dribble basketball. He in return said I would Tell us about your support system and my mom would say, “Go back out have to coach basketball, volleyball and and how important it has been for there.” So, I figured out how to dribble track. I told him I didn’t know anything you. around him. I was slowly picking it up about the other sports, but he said, even though I didn’t want to.

“Oh, you’ll figure it out.” So, I figured it My support system has been amazing. out and became an all-around coach.

From my family, friends, coworkers, I had no idea that I would be playing classmates, church members, and sports, but I started to get better and it From Chastain, I worked one year at more, everyone has supported me started to become more comfortable Kirksey Middle School, and then my in many ways. The day I went in for to me. So, I got attached to it by almost Alma Mater, Callaway High surgery, we had so many You have to getting forced to do it.

School called me and I people in the room I thought stayed there for two years. learn to fight. they were going to put When did your career start as a Then I got the call from everybody out. My surgery teacher and basketball coach?

Germantown Middle School and I’ve was at 6:00 AM and there were at least been there for 5 years.

15 or 20 people already there waiting.

I started coaching my freshman year in college. One of my church members Tell us about your experience and My church family and prayer warriors was starting an AAU team and he journey with Breast Cancer. have been in my corner praying for asked me if I would help him coach. I me, rooting for me, and encouraging had just finished playing basketball in This has been a very humbling and me. They reminded me that even in my high school and I never coached, I just eye-opening experience. I’ve always low moments I was still good, I was still knew how to play. He told me it was been strong in my faith and my belief great and I was in the right hands. You the same thing, just looking at it from in God, but it has been really tested need those types of supporters and a different angle. I went to one of the during this journey. And anytime your pushers when you’re at your lowest practices just to see what it was like, health is tested, your faith is tested. I points. I would get text messages from and I fell in love with it. He let me get like to reference the book of Job a lot my basketball players, emails from their 6 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Background Photo by Skye Studios on Unsplash

parents, cards, you name it. It was very over whelming.

body, and I didn’t want it. I remember time to see if that made a difference telling my mom I was going to refuse it, because I got diagnosed one week and and my mom looked me in the face and two weeks later I had surgery.

You mentioned your church family, said, “I didn’t raise any weak children, what church do you attend? so you are going to do this and you’re But I’ve had friends tell me they had the going to fight.” That signified to me same diagnosis and they waited a few I attend Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist what I had to do. Mama said I had to months to have the surgery. And once Church in Madison, fight, and that’s what they changed their diet and went back I’ve always been strong in MS. My home church is my faith and my belief in I did. for a follow up, the mass had either Pratt United Methodist God, but it has been really shrunk so small they could barely see Church in Jackson, MS. I would say continue it or it was completely gone. Your diet tested during this journey.

That’s the church that to stay positive. My has so much to do with your health. raised me. I was born in that church first prayer when I got the diagnosis Almost every meat that you put your and everybody there has probably was, Lord, remove anything and hands on has been fed some type of changed my diapers. That’s like family anybody negative from my life, and I antibiotic or hormone at some stage. and Pilgrim Rest has become my didn’t care who it was. Remove yourself For that reason, I decided to cut meat second family. My husband and I joined from any type of negativity. If it’s your from my diet and I went completely Pilgrim Rest before we got married, and doctor, your spouse, your parents or plant based up until the time I started there are so many prayer warriors and friends. If you’re talking to someone chemo. Now, if it doesn’t grow out of people around me. They were at my and the mood starts to change, remove the ground, I don’t eat it. bedside in the hospital, and they were yourself. You have to stay in a positive even available to me at home, whether mindset no matter how The way that the animals I would say continue are pushed through it was preparing meals or reading bad you feel. You know to stay positive. scriptures with me or bringing flowers who you are, you know factories and treated is so and even hugs. My church family has Whose you are and you know that you inhumane. They are kept in their feces been awesome. will be healed. He said by His stripes and nasty conditions and then they we are healed and I believe it. You have wrap up the meat and make it look What advice would you give to a to dig deep into your faith and keep nice and give it to us. Then we ingest it, young lady who may be starting fighting. and because we don’t get the exercise this journey or in the middle or that we should, our bodies can’t handle even ending this journey, but still I didn’t realize there are so many it, and it only knows one thing to do feeling a bit down. What would you different types of breast cancer. and that’s to set up disease. We are say to encourage them?

What type of breast cancer were basically attacking and killing ourselves. you diagnosed with?

The best advice I can give is to fight.

What I’ve learned to do is start grocery That’s the number one thing, you I had Stage 2, Estrogen based and it was shopping and it’s actually cheaper. have to fight. I remember getting hormonal. My receptors for estrogen Eating out can be expensive, but the diagnosis and being told that I and progesterone levels were high making groceries and preparing your would have to take chemo. I started and that’s what created the cancer, an meals ahead of time, and trying to researching and reading everything and over-production of hormones. After eat as much fresh food as possible, I started thinking chemo was horrible, researching and reading, I completely like fruits and vegetables, we can be and that it would do so much to your changed my diet. I didn’t have a lot of pro-active. I want to encourage people to be proactive and start preventing instead of trying to fix it. I don’t want people to walk in the same shoes I’m walking in, but we have got to recognize the problem and be willing to change.

This was definitely my wake-up call because I had not put myself first. I have a second chance and not many people get that, and I want to take full advantage of it.

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •7

8 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Jerri’s Journey To New Lungs

J

erri Lynn Kennedy has been battling Pulmonary Sarcoidosis for 14 years. Sarcoidosis is an auto immune disorder that can affect one or all organs. There is no cure for sarcoidosis but some treatments such as therapy, medications or transplant can prolong life.

Jerri is one of the few patients who never experienced her disease going into remission. Of the 14 years, Jerri has had to travel nine (9) of the years almost four hours away for treatment from specialist at University of Birmingham (UAB). For almost five years she’s been under the care of the transplant team to closely monitor the sarcoidosis. The drive at times has been a little overwhelming but Jerri is determined to keep driving as long as the doctors keep her breathing.

April 26, 2018 Jerri’s right lung collapsed resulting in the doctors all

agreeing that a double lung transplant would be beneficial to Jerri. May 5, 2018 Jerri was officially listed for a bilateral transplant. She’s been on oxygen for nine years and it has been recently increased from six (6) to 10 liters of oxygen. Jerri has been told to pack her bags and be prepared for a call any time of the day or night.

Jerri is in need financially and spiritually. She’s a wife, mother of three school aged children and a person many consider to be a loved one. Jerri will be almost four (4) hours away from home for almost eight weeks. The donations needed will help with expenses such as travel, lodging, food, medications and bills. After the transplant Jerri will still have to travel back and forth for follow up visits, weekly then monthly.

Jerri is always helping family, friends and even strangers because that’s just the type of person she is.

Helping with no hesitation. She’s now the one in need from all who are willing and able to give. A gofundme account has been setup to help assist also.

EVERY DONATION COUNTS!!

To all who are praying, donating, and sharing we can’t thank you enough. * To be given a chance to one day be able to run wild with my kids will soon be far from a dream.

Thank you so much for supporting my journey to new lungs.* For additional information please feel free to email jerrisjourney@gmail.com.

Photo Credit: Romolo Tavani/Adobe Stock WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •9

COVER STORY Peggi Rafferty

Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine had the distinct pleasure of talking with the lovely Mrs. Peggi Rafferty about her journey with Breast Cancer, and it is our pleasure to share her story with you:

Where you were born and raised?

I was born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana. I married my high school sweetheart and we’ve been married for 33 years, but we’ve been in Mississippi for 24 years. So, Mississippi is home.

How did you view Mississippi when

you first moved here, and how has it changed since that time for you?

I honestly don’t think I knew where Mississippi was. When my husband said he was getting transferred, we pulled out the map, but I would say it has been everything we’ve ever wanted it to be. It’s not perfect, but it is a great

10 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

state. We’ve loved raising our kids here and I do not miss the cold and the snow. The people are very giving and very genuine.

You said you work from home, tell me what kind of work you do from home?

I’ve always heard people say find something you love and figure out how to get paid to do it. When my boys were young and we were at a baseball field, someone mentioned they needed someone to do administrative work for the local youth organization. I have been privileged to work from my house helping boys and girls play basketball, football, and baseball. I do all the administrative registration, insurance schedules, and field availability.

had no idea. I was healthy and I hadn’t had any problems.

I remember that night telling one of our Pastors, I don’t know why God picked me. I’m not going to ask Him Looking back now, I will never tell why. Why not me? I’m honored that He anyone that breast cancer is easy, chose me. My mission has been to do but God had gone before me every what I can to make a difference. step, to the point of when I was in my Three weeks after my diagnosis, appointment for the ultrasound and I had a double mastectomy with biopsy, God provided another woman reconstruction. Two weeks after my there that I knew quite well. surgery, one of the nurses pulled me aside and said the doctor was I hadn’t seen her in a year, but the fact wondering if I wouldn’t mind talking was every step my mind was off of it. to another patient? I thought, God Some kids don’t get to play sports at I wasn’t worried. That was on a that was kind of quick. That afternoon, school and this gives them a place to Monday. That Thursday, I hadn’t heard a precious woman called me. We play and that’s what I love, because it’s anything back so I called the doctor talked and shared our stories, and we giving back to the community. I’ve been and they said, “If you haven’t heard, continued to every couple of weeks able to set my own hours and I love it. that means it’s fine, but text each other. We When cancer came, why we will check.” were finally able to was God not going to be meet and from that one Now you said your husband got transferred to Mississippi with The next day, November faithful again? meeting and because his job. What type work does your 13th at 10:34 am, I got a my heart was open, husband do? call from my doctor. She said, “I there are now 20 of us that meet on a wish I wasn’t having to tell you this regular basis.

He is a CPA and he came to Mississippi and especially over the phone, but you to work for a private company, and I have breast cancer.” I honestly don’t The friends, the encouragement, think part of my cancer journey even remember a whole lot of what she the encouragement of these other goes back to that time when we saw said after that, I was just trying to cancer survivors, I can’t explain. My how faithful God was. Nine months hold it together. friends are my friends, but my cancer after we got here, the business shut friends, there’s nothing that none of down. But God provided through the This morning as I was going back and us wouldn’t do for each other because hard times of being unemployed for reading, I don’t journal, I wish I did, but I we’ve been there. A group of us have almost a year. When cancer came, why keep things. I have kept every email and now started a nonprofit organization was God not going to be faithful again? every text message. I have printed all to walk alongside other women, to pray We looked to go back my text messages from for them and to encourage them and God has always been home where it would friends and that was to let them know they’re not alone. I’ve our strength and our be comfortable and my encouragement. never felt that I was alone but there are where family was, but foundation in our marriage I laughed because so many women that I’ve met who are and going through God never opened the day that I got alone. unemployment, children my diagnosis, my doors. And before that have had sicknesses... husband Charley too long a door was I remember one day, I was sitting in opened here and came home and we the parking lot at Jackson Oncology Mississippi became home. cried and laughed. God has always bawling my eyes out. I didn’t want to been our strength and our foundation go in for that appointment because Tell me about when you were first in our marriage and going through those were the most depressing diagnosed with Breast Cancer. How unemployment, children that have appointments to me. I texted my did it all come about? had sicknesses, and Charley just came husband because this was one of the in and said, “We’re declaring war and few appointments where he wasn’t I went for an annual mammogram and Satan will not win this war. Now let’s with me and I was by myself. I said, “I physical on a Wednesday. I had no pick ourselves up and let’s get ready to can’t go in there.” He literally texted me family history of breast cancer, but on do battle.” And to this day, that’s what back and said, “Get up. You are going Friday I got a call and they said they we’ve been doing. It’s not easy. I still into your mission field. God doesn’t saw something suspicious and they have hard days but God have to send us around the world. He needed me to come in on Monday. I is faithful. has put us in a position right here in WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •11

Jackson. Dry those tears, get in there and encourage someone else.” From that minute on, my whole attitude about my appointments changed. Now I love to go to doctor’s appointments with friends.

judgmental attitude and to realize it is real, but we don’t talk about it. That’s what I’ve learned and now I feel like not only with the cancer, but women that are going through, I can relate to what they are going through. I never expected that on It wasn’t an easy road but this journey.

God was faithful.

What have you learned along this journey that you didn’t know before?

It’s hard to admit, but I had to go back and apologize to some people. I have always been a very upbeat, positive person. In my mind, I thought if you were down or if you struggled with depression, you must not be spiritual or you don’t trust the Lord enough in your situation. I would be lying if I said I didn’t struggle with that. As the months went on and I was going to appointments and even though I enjoyed them, the physical pain was there. The wondering am I ever going to be able to do this again, or how am I going to feel or even wondering if people would look at me differently?

The effects of the different medications that I take, and I’m not ashamed to say that for a while a doctor did put me on some medication for depression. Depression is real and I feel like we sugar coat everything.

And it was an area where the Lord dealt with me, to not judge others because you haven’t walked in their shoes and they haven’t walked in yours. I remember going to several people, some I didn’t know that well, but I felt like I had to apologize for my

My journey I feel has been fairly easy compared to a lot of women. I was blessed. I did not have to have chemotherapy or radiation but, I do take a chemo pill. I did not have the typical hair loss and the other side effects that a lot of women have, but nonetheless, I had cancer and I am a survivor.

I am two and a half years cancer free. I heard a speaker talk this summer who said, from the day I was diagnosed, I was a survivor. And that was my mindset and so much of this is your mind. It wasn’t an easy road but God was faithful.

weren’t in the home. My youngest was a senior in college. I had amazing daughter in laws that were available anytime I needed something. I have all boys and I think it was hard for them, but they’re all strong men like their dad so, they weren’t going to let us know it was hard. It was just one of those things. They weren’t worried about it because they knew I was a fighter.

What advice would you give to a woman going through breast cancer right now?

My first advice would be to have their faith in Jesus Christ, all of their trust and not just lip service, but with your heart. I clung to Exodus 14:14 which said, The Lord will fight for me, I only need to be still. I’m not a person that sits still. I want to take charge. I want to do it. So, my first advice would be, get your relationship right with the Lord where your total trust is in Him.

The next thing would be to seek out another woman going through this journey. If you don’t know anybody, “The Lord will fight for you; ask your doctor if they I was HERS 2 Negative you need only to be still.” could recommend ER Positive PR a patient, or look Exodus 14:14 Positive. So, mine was me up on Facebook. an estrogen driven cancer and I was We’ve started a Facebook Group called diagnosed stage one.

Breast Friends Forever and the goal is to connect women to someone who How was it for your children to had the same diagnosis. I never knew deal with it, knowing that their there were so many different types of mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. This is a group of about cancer?

20 women and it’s a nonjudgmental place for you to ask those questions My children are all grown, so they that you may not feel comfortable asking your doctor, but you can ask another woman.

What type of breast cancer were you diagnosed with?

I would also say stay off the Internet.

You are trusting the Lord. Find somebody you can connect with.

There’s going to be someone willing be to be real with you. Admit to yourself that it’s hard because we all think we’re going to be the strong woman. It’s okay. We are weak, but God

is strong.

12 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Photo Credit: Oez, santypan/Adobe Stock

Hightlight

Yolanda Evans Turner

Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine is humbled to share a part of the story of Yolanda Evans Turner, a Domestic Violence Survivor.

Born in Syracuse, New York, Yolanda and 20 of her cousins rode the bus from New York to the Mississippi Delta, in Belzoni, Mississippi, after her mother passed away, and three weeks later her Aunt died as well. Her Grandmother and 21-year-old Aunt took them all in and raised them.

In 1984, at nine years old, Yolanda started living an unimaginable nightmare. She became the victim of rape and molestation repeatedly by family members until she was eleven years old. It was a secret she would keep for more than two decades.

As she remembers: 14 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

That’s when I knew God had not left me.

I

remember a time when my grandmother told me to go in the kitchen to get her a drink. I immediately started to cry and say no, because I was so scared that he would be waiting on me. But my grandmother sent me anyway, and he was waiting on me, and he molested me then. I didn’t know what to do so I just kept the secret bottled up inside.

for Domestic Abuse at that point, so I didn’t know to call it verbal abuse, I just knew it wasn’t right. My children would often say they were tired of him and the way he was acting. One time I saw him looking at my daughter, but I didn’t want to cause a fight so I didn’t say anything.

I had been crying and knew something was wrong, but I smiled as best I could and told her I was just tired. She said they were tired of him too. After that night, things got worse with him beating me and threatening to kill me on a regular basis. On top of the abuse, he was an alcoholic and he was using drugs.

The first time he hit me, we were sitting on the tracks in Isola, because In April 2006 I was able to end the I couldn’t really understand what that’s what people did to hang out. relationship with him, and I thought was going on. I couldn’t grasp it. How We had another man and woman in that was the end of it. In May of 2006, could this be ok for them to do this. I the car with us and we were riding he was hiding in my house when me knew it wasn’t right, but who could I supposedly having fun, but I noticed and my daughter arrived home. He tell?” She was only one year old when his body language was different and he came out and beat us with an iron, her Mother and Aunt passed. was unhappy about something. After then he made us take off our clothes. about 30 minutes I dropped the other He asked did I have any money and “I became very angry and rebellious couple off and we went back to park I said no, but he knew I got paid on after all of that. I started searching for on the tracks. He told me to get on the Thursdays, so he hit us with the iron love only to find abusive relationships. passenger side and that’s when he said again, and I gave him the money I had When I was 15 I had my he was going to teach me hid in my bra. I only had on my bra and ...soon I found oldest daughter, at 17 I about trying to embarrass smock from work, but my daughter out, there was had my son and at 19 I had him. He was drinking a beer had no clothes on. He made us get in nothing quiet or and he threw the beer in my the car and he drove to a house to buy another daughter.

In 1999, I moved back face and spit in my face. drugs, but the guy wouldn’t sell him any shy about him. to New York because my He then drove off and because he couldn’t see who was in the two oldest children’s father started said he was going to take me car threatening to kill me with a gun. We somewhere no one would find me, but with him. had been separated for about 8 years we went to his brother’s house where because he was abusive, but they were he was staying. He starting yelling We left the guys house and he taking child support from his check and and cursing at me, but no one came was very angry. He took us down this that upset him. outside because they were afraid of abandoned road and from there it was In 2003 my Aunt was diagnosed with him. I asked him to give me my keys so like a nightmare. He hit me in my lip Hypertension and Diabetes so I sent I could leave, since it was my car we and stabbed me in my legs. He cut and my children back to Mississippi to help were driving, but he wouldn’t. He was burned my hair out then he raped me her. Shortly after that I moved back so angry, he picked me up and body in front of my daughter over and as well, because I couldn’t stand being slammed me on over again. away from them. the ground.

In April 2006 I was able to He then said, end the relationship...

I met Bruce Greenwood a few After I got over the “I bought your months after I moved back to initial shock of that, I started walking daughter some clothes and I need my Mississippi. He was quiet and shy and trying to get home. I walked for about money.” I told him I gave him all the I thought it was cute. I later found 3 or 4 miles before he drove up behind money, but he said, “Not that money.” out that my cousin told him I liked me and made me get in the car. Then He dragged my daughter out of the car. guys who were quiet and shy so he he said, “You know I was just playing I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t. I pretended to be, but soon I found out, right?” I was so afraid but I had to got out of the car and crawled around there was nothing quiet or shy about pretend I wasn’t so I could get home to where he was since he had stabbed him. safely. me in my legs, I could not walk. The same knife he had stabbed me with, he The abuse started out with name When I got home he dropped me off had at my daughter’s neck and he said calling. I hadn’t become an advocate and kept my car. My daughter noticed he would kill her if I didn’t get back in WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •15

the car. I crawled back around to the the number I was called from. She front of the car and told my daughter called the Sheriff’s Department and to just pray, I kept saying just pray baby. they traced the number and found out She said, “Momma will where I was. I was on I found Christ right after you please be quiet.” the Be On The Look this ordeal, because I was Out (BOTLO) list and This hurt. they flashed my picture always reading my Bible After it was over, and I know it was God that all over the bulletins. my daughter asked saved me. him if he would just We were for some let us go. She said we wouldn’t tell reason coming back to Greenville, anybody if he let us go, but he said he Mississippi and he pulled in to a gas couldn’t do that. We ended up being station. I still had no clothes on, I out there until morning. I asked him if I smelled bad and it was terrible. I tried could call my other two children to tell to get the attention of a lady on the them goodbye if this was going to be side of us pumping gas but she never the end looked up. A Frito Lay Vender never for me. looked up as I was trying to get his attention. Bruce finished pumping the When I called, my Aunt answered gas, then we went to another liquor the phone and she immediately knew store where he got more liquor. In Bruce had me. I spoke with my other Indianola, Mississippi, he said he was two children and I told my baby girl going to put me out and if people saw to listen to her brother. After that he me like that, they would know I was the snatched the phone from me and said whore he said I was, but he didn’t stop, it was time for me to go. He told my he kept driving. daughter to get out of the car and he gave her a white sheet to wrap around I told him the next stop we got to her, and he made me get back in the I was going to get out because I was vehicle. I begged him to throw her the tired and I didn’t know if my daughter cell phone but he wouldn’t so I didn’t was alive or dead. At that point, he hit know if she was dead or alive. me so hard I saw lights. He stopped again and bought more liquor. The He told me that the first 18-wheeler liquor store was right in front of he saw, he was going to hit it head Walmart but I couldn’t move because on because if he couldn’t have me my legs were hurting so bad. A lady nobody could. That’s when I knew God finally looked at me and I know she was had not left me. We ended up going the one who called the police. through a patch of fog, and once we passed through the fog, there was an He took me on a gravel road and 18-wheeler passing us on the opposite told me no one would ever find me side. there, but the Humphreys County Sherriff’s Department was out there We stopped at a store and he got and they told him to pull over. He something to eat and ate it in my face. looked at me and told me he wasn’t We drove all the way into Arkansas. going back to jail and he floored that I didn’t know what I could do, he raped little car. The chase was on a dirt road, me and beat me some more but by and he was going as fast as he could that time I couldn’t feel anything. I was go. He hit a curve and blew out a tire, so worried about my daughter. He let but he didn’t stop. He was going as fast me call my Aunt one last time to speak as he could on three wheels. I heard with my kids and my Aunt wrote down the Holy Spirit tell me to put on my

seatbelt and put my head behind him to protect myself. We hit head on with a van.

When I got to the hospital, my daughter walked in and I just held her and cried and cried. And I kept saying I was sorry. Bruce ended up paralyzed and sentenced to 120 years in Federal Prison.

I found Christ right after this ordeal, because I was always reading my Bible and I know it was God that saved me. I had to dig deep inside to forgive myself in order to heal and move on with my life. I didn’t realize how strained my relationship with my children had become during that time because I was so focused on trying to keep them safe.

Our relationship has been saved.”

Yolanda is a Supervisor at Walmart and she is remarried. She has also studied Sociology at Delta Community College.

Her story could have ended in tragedy, instead it evolved into a life changing organization that saves the lives of other victims. She reaches out to rape and domestic violence victims through her foundation Heavenly Help, Inc. Yolanda speaks to churches and organizations, holds walks and raises money to help women, men and families escape their tormentors.

If you are suffering in silence, there are resources available: Call Heavenly Help, Inc. at 662-8367374 or 662-836-6757, Butterflies by Grace Defined by Faith at 601-896-2509 or Catholic Charities Inc.- Jackson Rape Crisis Center 24 Hour Crisis Hotline at 601-982-RAPE (7273).

Her story could have ended in tragedy, instead it evolved into a life changing organization that saves the lives of other victims.

16 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Photo Credit: determined/Adobe Stock

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •17

Breaking Up With Fear

By Dr. Talya Straughter

I

had the opportunity to speak at the Woman to Woman With Joanne 4th Annual Empowerment Conference. This year’s theme was “Fearlessly Breaking Up with Fear.”

Fear takes place when truth is absent. In my world when fear seeps in, it could grip a person until their destiny is illegally seized or they are forced to go in a different direction.

Fear is a hijacker. Fear can cause a person to experience anxiety, lowself-esteem, depression, or a lack of confidence.

Shudda, cudda, wudda- if only I that I have fallen in love with. should have. I could have or I would A scene takes place after a fight. have. I am sure these phrases have During the riot, she and another tap danced across your lips. A few character are in the restroom and months ago, I took my cousin to the character has taken ill. Crazy the airport one Sunday morning.

Eyes makes a powerful statement Break up with Since my Ladybug and I when she says, “I think it’s fear and get were headed to church, I time to ask for help cause decided to grab a smoothie some help. sometimes you need help on the way back because and it’s okay to ask.” Fear there was no way I was going to be will have you trapped in whatever able to control my stomach and situation you are in because you deny the conversation it would have are afraid to ask for help. Break up during the sermon. I stopped at a with fear and get some help. If you favorite spot, we ordered, I paid need the professional In my world when During the and we waited. Once we got our help from a counselor, fear seeps in, it conference, I shared order, I was headed out of the store ask. If you need some could grip a person some practical ways help with your spouse or and Ladybug got in the cashier’s until their destiny to fearlessly break up partner, ask. If you need line on the gas station side. I asked is illegally seized with fear as it relates to her what she was doing and her help at your job, ask. I or they are forced mental health. I would response was, “But we have to pay.” think you get my pointto go in a different like to share those ways I told her that I had already paid ask. Don’t allow fear to direction. with you: for our order. You see there are hijack you from asking mistakes that you have already paid for help. Asking for help can free One of my favorite Netflix series for but you keep getting in line to you to fulfill your destiny. is “Orange is the New Black” pay for them over and over again.

(OITNB). Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Do not let fear hijack you. Get out Stop paying for your mistakes Walton, who is portrayed by of line, it has already been paid for. repeatedly. Do not allow your Uzomaka Aduba, is the character In the end, it won’t matter how mistakes to dictate and hijack you.

18 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

many mistakes you’ve made, but how you used them to make you stronger.

room, I noticed beautiful outfits and accessories to match. I asked the women how they invested in someone else’s dream.

What situation is When my Grand holding you in the Here is what I know Scott made his graveyard? transition some years about investing in ago, I noticed that my yourself- it can be Madear did not visit his grave after multiplied. That dress you have he was buried. At the time, I didn’t bought may be too little or too understand this because I would go big, depending on which end of and sit there quite often. One day the closet you have it. Those shoes my curiosity got the best of me and and purse may eventually be worn I asked her why she did not ever go out. Going to school and obtaining to visit with him. She told me that knowledge that can be used the graveyard was for things that multiple times in multiple situations were dead and the living does not is worth sitting in a classroom for a visit the dead. That thought has semester or two. The bottom line is, stayed with me for all of these years if you do not have big dreams and and it was not until recently that it goals, you will end up working really was awakened in my spirit. I had a hard for someone who does. Do not hard conversation with someone let fear hijack you, invest in yourself. that I truly love. During my reflection time of the conversation, Lastly, know who you are. I’m my Madear’s words came back to not talking about what other’s me and hit me like a ton of bricks. opinion of you are. Generally when I was in the graveyard nursing a I ask a client who they are the first dead situation. Once I made that thing they tell me is what they do connection, I felt liberated. It was or what they have accomplished. if the scales had fallen off my eyes, Honestly, that has not told me the wax in my ears melted and my anything about who they are. What heart pumped again. What situation I want to know is when all of that is holding you in the graveyard? Is it has been taken away and you are the job that is killing you and your standing in front of the mirror dream? Or are you like me nursing the hope of what could be? Maybe it is something that happened in the past and you will not let it go. Do not let fear hijack you and keep you in the graveyard.

FEAR IS A

HIG

HJ AC K

ER

naked who you are. My challenge to each of you is to know who you are.

By knowing who you are, you will know what your purpose is. Behind every mask is a face and behind every face is a story. Know your story so that you will know yourself.

Do not allow fear to hijack who you are. Break up with it by knowing who you are.

Fear is the great immobilizer and you have the power to place some kryptonite on it.

The greatest and most powerful project that you will ever work on is yourself. Invest in you! Is there a class you want to take? My challenge to Have you ever flown each of you is to first class on a flight? know who you are.

Have you ever been out of the country before? During the conference as I scanned the

Talya Straughter, DPC, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH 601-952-0515, ext. 4 talyastraughtercounseling@gmail.com Photo Credit: Lukas Gojda/Adobe Stock WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •19

20 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •21

Resting in Him

By Tonja Murphy

S

o many clichés come from animal behavior. Quiet as a mouse, eye of a tiger, and being a busy bee are ones most people are familiar with. However, my least favorite is busy as a bee, because most people think it means all work, all the time. Contrary to popular belief, bees need rest and sleep. Without either of those their work might become substandard, and after working through multiple tunnels in the hive, they could lose their way back home.

I recall a time when I was one of the busiest bees in the hive. Meetings, committees, and church functions-in addition to a full-time job-were the norm. After years of late nights and extremely early mornings, I began to exhibit signs of wear and tear.

Physically, a few pounds settled in all the wrong places. Mentally, I was about as sharp as a dollar store knife that

couldn’t cut melted butter. Looking at my calendar filled me with anxious thoughts of missed meetings and important deadlines. The smallest tasks were irritating, and bigger ones I avoided altogether. I realized there was a deeper issue when, spiritually, I no longer felt the intensity of love I once had for the God-given work of serving others. The work was valuable and I was grateful for it, but I knew something would need to change soon for me to begin to love this work as I once had.

direct community services, I thought I should be working all the time; that anything different is not of God. But on this day in a place of quiet, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As in-demand as Jesus was in His time on Earth, even He stopped to rest a few times. (He actually made a few people angry by falling asleep in the middle of a storm.)

Then, I wondered: If I’m always working, when do I rest? When do I refuel to ensure the work remains fruitful and glorifies the One who gave it to me?

Almost everyone I know who works in the nonprofit sector loves the work God has blessed us with. But when we get too busy and don’t rest, like the bee, our impact suffers.

Solutions to my problem came in the most unlikely places. One was a framed verse that hung on the wall in my home. The verse read “Be still and know that I am God.” First, I had to get Rest is a necessity and should be scheduled, intentional, and purposeful. past the “be still” part, because other If you schedule meetings, assignments than the few hours of sleep I managed and children’s activities, why should to get most nights, I was always rest be any different? My moving. How silly was it As in-demand as Jesus dad would always say, that I was standing in my was in His time on Earth, “When you take a lunch living room, mentally and even He stopped to rest break, eat.” That’s what a physically worn, looking a few times. lunch break is designed at this beautifully framed for and the same goes for rest. Take verse while questioning the necessity a break from work, and leave every of stillness and rest? thought of appointments, to-do lists, meetings, and worry at the office.

The second solution came one Sunday afternoon at a local library. I Schedule a vacation. Can’t afford was beyond exhausted but-in my zeal to travel long distances? A staycation for always being available to assistwill do just fine. Check into a local had signed up several months prior hotel for a day or two or just stay to volunteer at a book sale. While home. Make a picnic in your living volunteering and sorting through room or visit a local museum. When thousands of books, Mark Buchanan’s the intention is rest, follow through on The Rest of God somehow found its doing it. When we are purposeful, the way into my hands. I opened it and desire to be refreshed, renewed, and to saw the pages had begun to yellow on hear from God will happen. Before life the edges and possessed a well-loved gets overwhelming take a day (or days) and long-shelved scent. While flipping to disconnect from everything and do through the book, a line illuminated from a page: “But without rest, we miss absolutely nothing. the rest of God: the rest he invites us to enter more fully so that we might know Don’t be a busy worker bee whose performance has gotten sloppy and him more deeply.” This statement lose your way back to the hive. caused much-needed reflection about whether-due to my lack of rest-I knew Remember: Jesus needed rest, Him as well as I had so often declared. bees rest, and so do you.

Like most people who provide

22 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Bridgette M. Morgan

Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine is honored to share the story of Bridgette M. Morgan-Esq. Her beautiful heart and humble spirit shone through as she shared her story with us. She is 31 years old and running for Hinds County Court Judge, District 1, and we are elated to share it with you.

Here is her story: WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •23

B

ridgette M. Morgan was born and raised in the Mississippi Delta in Greenville, Mississippi. She is the second child of seven children she has always wanted to be a Lawyer.

As a young girl, she remembers being poor not having a lot. “I remember as a young girl, my mom was poor, but we didn’t really know how poor we were.

Sometimes, she would take the meter on and off the house in order for us to have electricity. I was the child who kept the other kids while my mom worked and she worked her butt off.

I remember us not having as much food. One of my younger brothers would put syrup on bread and make syrup sandwiches and our neighbor across the street worked for Little Debbie and he would bring packs of cakes to our house.

University Law Center. I went to visit and fell in love with it and wanted to go there from that point on. I chose to focus on Criminal Justice because in my community in Greenville, we saw so many wrongs being done.

Public Defenders would just sit to the side and wait for the Judge to call the clients names and then go up, but I changed it. I asked the Judge if I could have three to five minutes to talk to each person to find out what is going on. I found a way to create rapport with the clients within two minutes.

I remember when my little brother was between nine and ten years old. He went to the corner store to get snacks I wanted to let them know that they and someone called my mom and told could trust me, and that I was there for her the police had him. When we got them. I would get their name and date there, the police had him in the air, of birth, find out if they were receiving holding him by his shirt, I found a way to create any kind of benefits, I with his back against the rapport with the clients would check to see if store building. there was anybody at within two minutes. home that they had to I wanted to be on the other side of take care of, and any other issues that that because I felt they needed to be are going on at home that they need to held accountable, but as a child I could be there for. I would tell their story to do nothing. I became a Public Defender the Judge to be able to get them some because I wanted to be accessible to kind of pretrial release if at all possible. the people in the community since If it’s a capital crime, murder, rape, or What was your motivation for most people can’t afford a private kidnapping, you’re probably not going becoming a Lawyer?

Defense Lawyer. I also chose Public to get released as easy.

Defense because I wanted to be able to I would always hear And I said I want to wear hold people accountable I was at each initial preliminary hearing, people talking about so the moment you are arrested, you what he has on. That’s for how they treated being a Doctor or see me. It is so important that you do when I decided I wanted under privileged Lawyer on TV, those citizens, because that’s your ground work that day, within 48 to be a Lawyer. two terms were always how I see my self as well. hours of the client being arrested so used together. I figured those must be Based on statistics, I shouldn’t even be they can get back to their lives. I had the two things you have to be to be an attorney. a client who was a 20-year veteran. considered successful, so I knew I was He fell asleep inside of the veterans going to choose one or the other. At We all watch the Lawyer shows building and by the time they found the time I didn’t know what a Lawyer on television and hear the horror him it was well after five and they was until I went into a classroom and stories of Public Defenders not charged him with business burglary. It the teacher had a bulletin board up. really representing the clients was my job as the Public Defender to On the bulletin board it asked the well, sometimes not even knowing go the extra mile. question, “What do you want to be their names. In some instances, when you grow up?” This particular they may have just gotten their I did some investigating on the front Lawyer cutout was a white man in a file a few minutes before they are end by interviewing people who work gray suit with a briefcase. And I said supposed to defend them. Can you there and figured out what exactly he I want to wear what he has on. That’s share with us how that was found doing, was anything missing, when I decided I wanted to be really works? was the door broken, anything like a Lawyer. that. He was also receiving benefits and On a typical Monday morning, if if you’re in jail and they find out about My Aunt went to Jackson State so I you have an initial appearance, you it, you lose your benefits. Just imagine, decided to go there after graduation don’t know the client, you are already homeless It was my job as the because I wanted to make sure I had because they may have now you’ve been charged Public Defender to go family close wherever I went. I decided been arrested the night for something that you the extra mile. to go to Jackson State where I Majored before. You get a docket shouldn’t have been in Criminal Justice. I met Dr. Hilliard with their names and it may be two charged for and you’re going to lose Lackey and he mentioned Southern people, it may be fifteen people. Some something on top of that.

24 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Public Defenders have to be Social me who is in awe of who I am on the Workers and sometimes, extended outside. I’m a mom, first of all, and I family members. I found so much joy take that so seriously. I want to raise an in being able to turn Right now, I’m practicing emotionally healthy child people’s lives back my year of “Yes” which I above all else. around immediately started when I turned 30 after they came in Right now, I’m practicing years old. contact with me, it my year of “Yes” which I wasn’t work for me at started when I turned 30 all, it was a joy. years old. There’s a book titled, Yes by Shonda Rhimes and in the book, she What made you choose to run for talks about saying Yes to things that Hinds County Court Judge? she has been totally afraid of doing out of her norm.

I chose to run for Hinds County Court Judge-Sub District 1 upon reading the My year of Yes started in Punta Cana qualifications and realizing I could still in August of 2017 for my birthday. I keep my job as a public defender while jumped in a 25 ft cave and I cannot doing so. That was important as I am a swim, but I did have on a life jacket. I single mom and needed to be able to had a face full of makeup (and I’m all Whenever I find him wandering take care of my son. about makeup) but jumping was so off somewhere, he’ll come and say, exhilarating and from that moment “We didn’t get God anything for It was a natural progression after on, anything that came up against Valentine’s Day,” or he’ll ask, “Is God serving in this court for the last three me that I was afraid of, I said yes to it. sleeping?” He is very inquisitive. He’s years. I could serve the underprivileged Even saying yes to running in Mcleod Elementary right I’m a very in a greater capacity as a County for Judge has been scary now in Kindergarten and since Court Judge. I had already developed for me, but I said yes. And observant the relationships with the people I’d this has been the most person and I’m he was three years old, he’s work with once elected as Judge. I exhilarating year of my life always looking been praying for me to have a husband and a daughter. He saw that the court wasn’t accessible. to be able to say yes. to be inspired. is convinced that’s going to The docket was backed up and a lot happen and I can’t go against my child’s of rescheduling and cancellations I love to read and I am actually in prayers. occurred. the middle of writing a book. I like traveling and I have some of the most He sometimes says the most random I had studied the science of criminal amazing friends. I like to go back home things. We were at Burlington getting justice and also the state of the Hinds at least once a month to get my hair the last of his school things and he County Court System and Criminal done by the same girl I’ve been going said, “Mom, let me tell you why you’re Justice System. I knew once elected to for the last 10 years. I think I’m a the perfect mom. Why I think God that I’d be ready to work on day one very loyal down to earth person. I’m a gave me you, because your face is cute, upon being fitted for my robe. very observant person and I’m always you’re the perfect mommy. I always looking to be inspired. wanted a mommy like that. I wanted Tell us about Bridgette, who she is mommy that was tall with the perfect and what she likes.

Tell us about your son Jaxson. face and straight long hair. That’s all I wanted.” These are the things he says Actually, there’s still a little girl inside of He’s six years old and he is the most unprovoked. amazing child. I’m a big journal writer and whenever I want to talk to God I What advice would you give to will write it down, date it and leave it. a woman looking to become a I prayed for Jaxon and how I wanted Lawyer or who may be thinking him to be enthusiastic about God. His running for a Public Office? middle name is Reece which is Welsh and means enthusiasm, and he is The advice that I’d give a woman enthusiastic about God. looking to become a lawyer or running for office is, “Go for it.” Absolutely WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •25

no one will come knocking on your is the jailer, court administrator, or door and say, “it’s your turn now defendant. Every moving part of any and here are all system must work The advice that I’d give a of the resources together to reach an woman looking to become a you need.” Go for outcome that benefits lawyer or running for office us all. An individual in it while scared, is, “Go for it.” voice shaking, and criminal court often trembling. God will stands in need of provide the resources. Every dream I’ve resources to combat homelessness, fulfilled in my life I began the journey mental illness, and addiction. Victims under resourced. God has not failed of crime stretch beyond the individual me yet. wronged and sometimes the only solace that can be provided is swift WHO IS ATTORNEY BRIDGETTE justice. Attorney Morgan plans to MORGAN? give each case the time and attention needed so that justice is served Passionate advocate for victims without prejudice or delay. and families.

Knowledgeable attorney.

Attorney Morgan’s platform is rooted in “Putting People over Politics”. She Attorney Bridgette Morgan is well plans to do this by recognizing the versed in criminal law and is no humanity of each individual she comes stranger to the courtroom. For the last in to contact with, whether this person three years Attorney Morgan served

exclusively in the county court for which she now seeks to be elected as Judge. She effectively and single handedly managed a caseload of more than 500 clients. During that time her role as an Assistant Public Defender allowed her to create and maintain strong working relationships with the police officers, detectives, jail staff, court staff, prosecutors, and the community.

Servant of the people.

Attorney Morgan brings to the table her youth, vitality, passion, willingness to serve and not to be served, and a wealth of knowledge to move the Hinds County criminal justice system forward. She is an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. where she aims to be of service to all mankind.

•Passionate advocate for victims and families.

•Knowledgeable attorney.

•Servant of the people.

On November 6th, vote for

Bridgette M. Morgan for

Hinds County Court Judge Sub-District 1.

Photo Credit: BillionPhotos.com/Adobe Stock 26 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •27

28 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

BREAST CANCER

HALL OF FAME SURVIVORS The fight against Breast Cancer is being won everyday and we are happy to share these wonderful women with you who have fought the fight and can now help another woman who is going through that fight as well. Meet our Conquerors:

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •29

Vinnie Beckley Diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer, Her2 + 9 1/2 years Cancer Free

Katherine Bridges Stage 3 Breast Cancer 10 years Cancer Free

Audrey Hall 8 years cancer free

Vickie Bradley Two-time Breast Cancer Survivor I was diagnosed in 2010 and 2015 with Stage 3 Triple Negative I was 5 years Cancer Free before it returned, now I am 3 years Cancer free from the last diagnosis

Theresea Vickie Fletcher 2 years Cancer Free Stage 1 _ RIGHT BREAST, INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA HER-2 NEGATIVE (Triple Negative).

Tomikia Hayes Cancer Free Since September 2018

30 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Clarissa Hickmon Diagnosed in March 2009 Stage 1 Breast Cancer I am 9 years Cancer Free

Cindy McKay Gluckstadt, MS Stage 2 ductal carcinoma 4 years cancer free I have also survived melanoma twice.

Darnisha Ramsey-James I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the first stage.

I am a 9 year survivor

Mary Luckett I was diagnosed in October 2003.

The doctor said I was between stage 2 & 3 I am 15 years Cancer Free

Emily Tra’Jean Mitchell I was diagnosed at age 35 with Stage 2 Metastatic Breast Cancer in 2009.

I have been cancer free for 9 years.

Alfreida Smith I was diagnosed with Right Breast Her-2 2+ Grade 2 Stage 1 Breast Cancer. I had a double Mastectomy and I am Cancer free as of September 11, 2018.

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •31

Mothanez Smith I am 6yrs cancer free I was diagnosed with HER2 positive invasive

Janice Willis Ductal carcinoma in SITU STAGE II BILATERAL mastectomy 10 years cancer free

32 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Michelle Webb 6 years cancer free

Janice Brown I am a native of Washington, D.C., and I was born the 7th child of 9 children. Shortly after I moved to Pearl, MS in 2002, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I was 33 years old with one child and no family history of Breast Cancer. As I struggled with the decision to have surgery, I refused chemotherapy. Doctors told me that my survival rate would not be long if I continued to refuse chemo. I prayed and cried, and I hadn't told anyone what I was struggling with. My Pastor, Senior Pastor Maxine Gray of Exodus Assembly in Jackson, MS, looked at me, prayed over my body and told me to have faith. I had surgery to remove the mass in October 2003. With much prayer, faith and support from my Pastor, family, church family and friends, I received a good report from the doctor. The Cancer is in Remission. I was also told that I wouldn't be able to conceive any more children, but in 2006 I married Christopher Brown and continued to pray for my mind, body and soul. In 2010, I beat the odds and conceived a baby girl. I am still happily married; my miracle baby is turning 8 years old and I am the owner of Kingdom Preschool. My faith in God is stronger and guess what?! THE BREAST CANCER IS STILL IN REMISSION.

Charmaine Turner I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer in 2015. In 2017 I did 6 rounds of chemo; 36 rounds of radiation and I had a lumpectomy. In 2017, I also had a double mastectomy to lessen the chance of the cancer coming back in the opposite breast. I went to The Breast Restorative Center in New Orleans and had 4 surgery’s using my own tissue. I have been cancer free since 2015 and I’ve been back from all my surgery since February of 2018!

Annette Robinson I live in Yorktown, Virginia. I was born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi. I am married (Robbie) and we have 3 adult children, (Jarrad, Shaye and Bianca). I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2014. I was stage 1 and it was diagnosed early. I did 6 1/2 weeks of radiation therapy, then I started taking Anastrozole and I was told I would have to take it for 5 years. My Oncologist has recently informed me that they may have to increase it to 10 years. I also developed Lymphedema in my left arm from the lymph nodes being removed during my surgery and I wear a sleeve to prevent swelling. I have a lot of joint pain and insomnia but I am thankful every day for my family and friends who support me daily. I have grown so much during this time.

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BREAST CANCER

HALL OF FAME FIGHTERS

Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine is privileged to walk with these women who have recently received a Breast Cancer diagnosis. We implore you, our readers to pray with these women as their faith may be tried and their strength tested. Pray that they find strength in our Father who is strongest when we are at our weakest. Thank you, ladies, for sharing this journey with us.

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Sarah Keyes I am 33 years old and I have two daughters. I was diagnosed in July 2018 with DCIS 3 of 3 stage 2 Breast Cancer.

IÂ currently have 6 rounds of chemo and then I will have surgery. I am claiming that I am a survivor right now.

Wyvett Walker Diagnosed in November 2017 with Breast Cancer.

Melinda Pope Diagnosed in September 2017, Stage 3 Breast Cancer, Lung and Liver Cancer

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Sharon Martin One night I discovered a green discharge coming from my left breast so I decided to have a mammogram performed. I went to a general surgeon (from the radiologist referral). I was informed that I had Stage 1 and Stage 0 Breast Cancer. I had surgery on June 6, 2018 and had a double mastectomy. I am currently taking chemo and will finish December of 2018. Whenever you discover something different within your body, the main thing you need to do is keep the faith, knowing that God can and will bring you through any situation. He is bringing me through it right now. The scripture states “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of Things Not Seen,” so we must rely on God’s word. Keep the faith and never give up, no matter what you go through.

Belinda Walton Scott After I noticed my areole was inverted, I told my OBGYN and she scheduled a mammogram right away. I was diagnosed in April of 2016 with Stage IV Breast Cancer. The cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes in my left arm. Within a week I was undergoing chemotherapy which I did for 6 months.

Afterwards I underwent a double mastectomy. Even though the cancer was only in my left breast, I chose to have both removed to have a better chance of life. After the double mastectomy, I started radiation. I had 36 rounds of invasive treatment every day in hopes to be healed. The scans were clean after the radiation so I felt I was done and my testimony was complete. I had fought this battle that God appointed me and won. May of this year 2018, I was told the cancer was back. This time, it had spread to my right lung. I knew in my spirit it was back. I wasn’t breathing the same and couldn’t turn over full breaths. Again, I immediately began chemo and I was told my right lung would have to be removed in November, and start a new radiation treatment called Cyberknife as soon as its removed. I finished my first cycle of chemo in September of 2018 and I’m waiting to hear some good news.

I don’t worry about me. I more so worry about my babies. I’ve been divorced for about 10 years and I’m a mother of 5. I had recently adopted my 10 and 8-year-old in 2015 so it was hard in the beginning. But God allowed this disease to hit me because He knew I could handle it and He knew I’d take the word and run with it. This battle isn’t mine. It’s the Lords.

Photo Credit: Halfpoint, Smith1979/Adobe Stock 36 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

New divorce law helps more than

600 abuse survivors find a way out.

O

ne year after the Legislature passed a bill expanding the ability of spouses to cite domestic abuse as grounds for divorce, advocates say the law has helped hundreds of people get out of abusive marriages.

Since the law went into effect on July 1, 2017, 608 of 12,918 total divorce complaints in fiscal year 2018 cited domestic abuse, according to the state’s Administrative Office of Courts — a statistic that would not have been possible prior to the passage of the law, as spouses could not cite domestic abuse as a grounds for divorce.

The new law, passed as Senate Bill 2680, added the language “spousal

domestic abuse” under the grounds of “habitual cruel and inhumane treatment,” one of 12 grounds under which Mississippians can file for a faultbased, or contested divorce. The law allows for the reliable testimony of a single credible witness, who can be the injured spouse.

Prior to the passage of the law, a second witness was required to corroborate spousal testimony about abuse.

That means 16 percent of remaining, roughly 3,800 fault-based divorces were filed under the new domestic abuse ground.

“That is a substantial number considering how new the ground is,” said Deborah Bell, a family law expert and law professor at the University of Mississippi, who noted that prior to the change in law, it was “not uncommon for a plaintiff to be denied divorce because there are no witnesses to the violence she has suffered.”

That change in the law is a victory, Bell called the law a “very positive because there are often no additional step by the legislature to protect witnesses in cases of domestic abuse, victims of domestic violence.” especially when the abuse is emotional or verbal in nature, The law allows for Gail P. Thompson, said Wendy Mahoney, the reliable testimony North Mississippi Rural executive director of Legal Services’ Violence the Mississippi Coalition of a single credible witness, who can be Against Women Act Against Domestic the injured spouse. supervising attorney, said Violence. she recently used the new provision successfully for the first time “Our main thing is focusing on in a divorce case in Oktibbeha County. survivors being able to get out of a very difficult situation or relationship,” Her client was the only witness Mahoney said. “They have some extra support in doing that by having this law in front of the judge, Thompson said. Despite changes to the law, the in place.” judge still insisted on a corroborating witness, she added. So she read him Mahoney views the 608 cases that the new statute. have cited domestic abuse since the law’s passage as an indication that “We were able to do it because she spouses and attorneys are starting to was a credible witness. And that’s the become familiar with the law and are standard,” Thompson said. using it.

For now, the coalition is collecting data and pulling together resources in its legal services program to monitor how the law is working, Mahoney said.

Of the total 12,918 divorce complaints, 9,125 were filed for irreconcilable differences, in which both parties jointly agree to a no-fault divorce. (Mississippi is still one of two states without a unilateral no-fault divorce provision; the other is South Dakota.)

38 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Harry Yoste, director of the Northcutt Legal Clinic at the Biloxi-based Gulf Coast Center for Nonviolence, says about two-thirds of the cases he deals with are divorce cases.

Yoste says all of his clients are victims of domestic violence, so whenever a client and his or her spouse cannot reach an agreement to divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences, habitual cruel and inhumane treatment is almost always the basis for the case, he said.

While the law makes these cases abuse is forgiven when an abused “a little bit easier” for Yoste and spouse leaves then returns home, his clients because a corroborating therefore negating grounds for divorce witness is no longer needed, it hasn’t until abuse occurs again. really altered his practice overall, although this may be because of the Mississippi’s strict divorce laws specific circumstances According to Bell, one drew national attention of his clients, he added. during the 2017 remaining obstacle to Yoste works pro bono, legislative session, victims of domestic and his clients’ spouses when then-House abuse in the realm of don’t often have Judiciary B Committee Mississippi’s divorce law, lawyers representing Chairman Rep. Andy which she hopes will them in court, Gipson was criticized ultimately be removed is for killing two bills that he said. a common law doctrine would have made bona According to Bell, fide separation and called “condonation.” one remaining domestic violence each obstacle to victims of domestic abuse grounds for divorce. in the realm of Mississippi’s divorce law, which she hopes will ultimately be “We need to have policies that removed is a common law doctrine strengthen marriage. If a person is called “condonation.” It provides that abusive, they need to have a change in

behavior and change of heart,” Gipson said at the time.

Afterward, House and Senate committee members altered a bill that originally clarified legal placement options for abused children to include the domestic abuse provision.

Photo Credit: bbourdages/Adobe Stock Source: Mississippitoday.org

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40 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

Upcoming Events for

2018 Woman To Woman With Joanne’s Let’s Talk Sessions provide a safe environment for women to come and share whatever is on their heart - burdens, struggles, joys. We invite women to share openly without fear of being judged, talked about, or broadcast all over social media.

Let’s Talk Sessions are held at the Mantle once a month.

October

October 18th - Let’s Talk Session, 7pm - 8pm 622 Duling Ave, Jackson, MS 39216

November

November 15th - Let’s Talk Session, 7pm - 8pm 622 Duling Ave, Jackson, MS 39216

December

December 14th - Let’s Talk Session, 7pm - 8pm 622 Duling Ave, Jackson, MS 39216

Photo Credit: rondakimbrow/Adobe Stock WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE •41

42 • WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE • Issue 18•October 2018

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