A Child I know has been abused what do I do? Just when you thought the unthinkable couldn’t happen it did. Nothing possibly could have prepared you for this moment.(Your thinking) A tear stricken child had just enough strength and courage to confide in you about the “Secret” they had been holding on to. They reveal to you in whatever language is comfortable and appropriate for them that they had been abused.(Sexually)Although those exact words are a foreign language and is likely not the language they would use with you, as an adult you know enough to know that is what transpired. Whether you are a parent, teacher, caretaker or anyone with a sense of empathy, you instantaneously go through a mixture of emotions. Emotions ranging from out rage and anger to concern, worry, sadness, betrayal and fear then grips every fiber of your being taking the right words to say right out of your mouth leaving you speechless. Hopefully you never find yourself in this predicament but if this is the case the most IMPORTANT thing you can do in this situation is LISTEN!
Listen, Why is this so important? That child’s VOICE matters. Oftentimes when children are sexually abused the perpetrators job is to prevent that child from speaking up. A child confiding in you about the “Secret” is one of the most difficult but yet courageous things that child can ever do, the least you can do is be all ears initially as they talk.
Interrogation is NOT an option! Your first instinct may be to get as much information as possible through questioning the child, but you may do more hurt than help if this is your approach. For example if the child is already fearful you asking leading questions can potentially have the child tell you what you want to hear out of fear as opposed to the whole truth. Save the Who, What, When, Where, and Why’s for the authorities who are trained and licensed to do what they do.
Support the child in whatever way you can in the moment and of course ongoing. This may look like giving the child a hug, a high five, holding their hand, assuring them that you are going to be there for them. Whatever support looks like to you that child needs your support like never before in that moment.